


Re:Start

by samisawesam



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Assertive Emilia, Beako & Meili Best Daughters, F/M, Fluff, Not a Harem, Romance, Updates Every Saturday, WN/LN Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 174,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27075823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samisawesam/pseuds/samisawesam
Summary: Sage If. A rash decision in the Corridor of Memories sends Subaru back to Zero. Updates Saturday.
Relationships: Emilia/Natsuki Subaru, Natsuki Subaru/Satella
Comments: 408
Kudos: 535





	1. Re:Turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this story. I'd like to give a few quick notes before starting.
> 
> This story is sporadically being changed from a Japanese light novel-style to proper English, so some chapters will be written differently from others. They are all actively being edited every day, so it will soon be consistent.
> 
> I love reading reviews, and I respond to almost every single non-guest review. Feel free to give feedback, point out errors, or ask questions. I'm always looking to become a better writer, and I love to talk about Re:Zero.
> 
> This fic has fanart by quimser (qmzr on ao3), but because of spoilers, it will only be linked on Chapter 24. I highly recommend checking it out.  
> Discord: https://discord.gg/Cz5A38jVFR
> 
> Last but most certainly not least, special thanks to my fiance for editing this story.

Emilia plopped herself down in an alley, her head in her hands. Her directive was simple and clear: don't leave Ram's side. Clearly, Lord Roswaal had too much faith in Emilia. Ram was gone, Emilia was lost, and it hadn't even been an hour since their arrival.

It wasn't her fault! A little girl needed help paying for food, and Emilia's wallet was gone, so she called for Puck. Surely, they could do a little magic in the streets for some spare change. Nothing wrong with that, right? After all, it's not like she looked identical to the Witch of Envy, so people wouldn't flee in terror at the sight of a half-elf performing magic.

Emilia couldn't help but wonder if her curse was looking like the Witch or her own naivety.

"Hey, lady, you all right?" asked a voice Emilia had never heard before. She looked up to find a young blonde girl (at least, she _looked_ young, but you never knew with people in Lugunica) looking down at her. Emilia cleared her throat and tried plastering a smile on her face. If the girl's grimace was any indication, then it wasn't working out.

"I'm fine," Emilia muttered nervously. She still wasn't used to talking to people that weren't named Puck. "Just a bit lost is all."

The blonde sat down beside Emilia. "I don't blame you," she said with a comforting smile. "I have no idea how all these fancy folks can navigate this damn maze every day." She slung an arm around Emilia's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Just keep your head up and live strong! I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for." Her eyes glinted mischievously. "I know I have."

Emilia's fake smile softened into something a bit more genuine. "Live strong... I believe I'll try that." Standing, she offered a hand to the girl, who pulled herself up with a grunt. "I think I'll search for my attendant now. Thank you, Miss…"

But the girl had already jogged off. Emilia frowned. "Strange. I thought we were getting along quite nicely. Did I do something wrong, Puck?"

She held out her palm as dozens of brilliant blue orbs coalesced into her companion and father figure. "Don't think so," he said with a frown, "but there was definitely something off with that girl. She wasn't lying or anything but…" Puck's eyes widened. "Your insignia! It's gone!"

"What?!" Emilia cried. She patted herself down, narrowing her eyes as she deduced that Puck was right. "That… that thief!"

She dashed through the alley; eyes downcast as she cursed herself for letting her guard down.

"Come back, you thief!" she yelled.

"Lia, it's –"

"It's not okay! Don't you _dare_ say it's okay!" She stole a glance at Puck, her eyes beginning to water. "That was my chance to free them, and now it's _gone_ , so don't even bother consoling me! J-just go away!"

He gazed at her sadly and said, "I was going to say, 'it's important to watch where you're going,' but I'll back off if it will make you feel better. Call if you need me."

"Wha–" she began, but he disappeared. The moment the last ball of energy faded from existence, she promptly crashed into someone, knocking them both down. She scrambled to her feet and offered him an arm. "I'm so sorry, are you okay? Do you need healing?"

The man scoffed, slapping her arm away. "Hear that, boys? The little witch wants to curse us."

To his left, a burly thug cracked his knuckles. "And you know what we do to bitches around here."

To their right, their short companion laughed shrilly. "Don't you mean witches?"

"I know what I said," he grunted.

Emilia backed up, holding out her hands in a placating gesture. "I'm not trying to curse you," she said quickly. "I just wanted to heal you, I promise." She gulped and slowly began to turn around. "S-so, if you're all right, I'll be moving along. I have somewhere to be."

One of them laughed. "Hah! The little bitch thinks we're gonna let her go."

"Now, give us everything you got," another demanded, "or we'll be forced to mess up that pretty little face of yours."

The man in the center pulled out twin knives, giving them a prefatory spin. "Let's skip to the makeover. Bet you'll thank us when we're done: you won't look like a demon no more!"

Emilia hated it when it came to violence, but that didn't mean she would let herself get hurt. She summoned an ice crystal, the mana gathering around her as her eyes shone with power…

But the crystal would not fire.

 _'Stop hesitating,'_ she berated herself. _'They're closing in! Do you WANT to be stabbed?'_

Of course, she didn't, but... she didn't want to hurt anyone else, either. Dashing forward, she attempted to run between two of them, her crystal shifting into a shield, but she was knocked down by a swift elbow to the gut.

"I don't want to fight you," she ground out, momentarily struggling to breathe.

"Aw, is the little witch scared?" one of them mocked. "Well, that's just too bad. The fun's just begun."

She was about to call for Puck when a voice rang out.

"Hey, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberella! Didn't your mother teach you not to hit a girl?" Leaning against the wall was a boy around her age (wearing the strangest clothes she'd ever seen, mind you) looking completely at ease. The thugs seemed to lose interest in Emilia to focus on the newcomer.

"The hell're you?" asked the leader.

The boy with strange clothes clucked his tongue in disappointment. "Now, now, is that any way to greet an old friend?"

One of the thugs scoffed. "Never seen a freak like you before."

Placing a hand over his chest and staggering in mock-surprise, the boy cried out, "I'm wounded! You don't remember me? And after we got to know each other so well, too."

Pointing a knife at the boy, the thug snarled, "Either start making sense or I'll stab you in the fucking lung."

The boy smirked, confidently announcing, "Then allow me to introduce myself. I'm the guy who's gonna kick your ass."

With that, he pulled the arm holding the knife and headbutted the thug, knocking him out. Staring at their incapacitated leader, the other two thugs seemed at a loss. So, they did what any mook would do when they have a clear disadvantage.

"Get him!" shouted the short one.

With a flurry of punches, the burly thug did everything he could to knock out the boy, as the short one tried tackling the legs. Most people would have quickly fallen to the surprisingly effective tactics, but not this boy. He seemed to know exactly where every punch would fall, every angle he'd be attacked from. It was like he'd been practicing this exact fight for months and was now toying with them.

"Who… no, what are you?" the burly one asked a few minutes later, exhausted from his failed onslaught.

"I'm glad you asked," proclaimed the boy, somehow managing to pose dramatically while dodging the attacks to his legs. "I'm a human with no idea what I'm doing! I'm broke, homeless, and a foreigner! Subaru Natsuki's the name and war of attrition is my game!"

"Whoop-dee-fucking-doo," the thug grumbled. "Are you done talking? I hate your voice."

"Hey, you asked!" Leaping into the air, Subaru narrowly dodged a dive from the shorter thug as he slammed his head into the wall, knocking himself out. Sticking out his thumb, Subaru said, "You, uh, may want to carry your friends out of here. See you later Dumberella!"

With one final glare, the burly thug scooped up his companions and ran off. Watching him go, Subaru let out a sigh and slumped against the wall, finally letting his exhaustion show. "Three on one… not too bad, Subaru. Not too bad."

Emilia walked over and kneeled beside him, her ice crystal having long since dissipated. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. This man, this complete and total stranger, appeared out of nowhere and fought three men to save her. Sure, she _could_ have done it herself, but she didn't. Her ice stood frozen in time, held back by her fear. What if she hurt them? She'd act like the Witch, proving them right.

Was her pride more important than her safety?

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Subaru looked up, a gleam in his eyes. "Someone important to me once told me that it's better to say, 'thank you' than to apologize."

Emilia's breath hitched before she let her face relax into a smile. "You're right. Thank you, Subaru Natsuki."

A grimace flashed across his face before vanishing as quickly as it came. "Just Subaru is fine."

Puck appeared from behind Emilia. "It's great to meet you, Just Subaru. I'm Puck."

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "A great spirit that makes dad jokes. And here I thought I'd seen everything."

Puck grinned. "I like this guy. There's no malice coming from him."

"Glad to hear it," Subaru said drily. Turning to Emilia, he asked, "What about you? What's your name?"

Emilia paused. Subaru seemed nice and all, but there was no use getting close to someone who would just leave her the moment he saw her ears. "My name is Satella," she told him. Beside her, Puck gave a light _tsk_ , clearly not approving.

She didn't care. She didn't need friends anyway.

As expected, Subaru gasped, called her an evil witch, and fled in terror, just like everyone else. He hated her, cursing himself for exerting himself for her sake.

…Except he didn't do anything like that. He just rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to lie to me, you know," he said with a laugh.

"I-I'm not lying!" Emilia exclaimed. "My name is Satella."

"It's fine, you don't need to hide it," he told her. "First off, it's probably illegal to name your kid that in this day and age. Something about a taboo, I bet."

Emilia said nothing.

"Second, Satella wears black," he said like it was obvious. "She wouldn't be caught dead wearing white."

"I've never heard that before," she admitted, confused.

He waved her off. "It was in a book."

If anything, that made her more confused. "There are only a few books on the Witch of Envy in Lugunica, and I've read all of them."

"It's a one-of-a-kind book," he stressed, clearly wanting her to drop the subject. She frowned, knowing she'd hurt someone yet again. She was about to apologize but he continued speaking. "Point is, you're not Satella."

Puck chuckled. "He's got you there, Lia. Fess up."

She bit her lip. "You're right. I'm sorry." Quietly, as if fearing another rejection, she said, "My name is Emilia. Only Emilia."

"Emilia…" he muttered as if tasting the name. Then, with a bright smile, "That's a really pretty name!"

She looked away. "There's no need to mess with me."

Subaru grinned and said, "Not messing with you; it's a cute name to match a cute face." He stood up, offering his arm as he did so. "Anyway, I have someplace to go, so hopefully, I'll see you around."

"W-wait!" she called, ignoring his comment and forcing down a blush. "You helped me, so it's only fair I repay that debt. If it's within my power, I shall do anything you ask for."

Subaru tilted his head and smirked. "Anything, huh?"

Puck flew up close to Emilia's ear. "I don't like that look in his eye, Lia," he whispered, "I still don't sense anything harmful from him, but the way he said that…"

Emilia gulped. "I-I'm sure it's not like that, Puck."

But Subaru wasn't helping his case. "So," he continued, dragging out his words, "if I needed your 'help' with something, you could 'assist me'?"

Emilia looked nervous but steeled herself. "I… yes. A debt is a debt, and repaying debts is important to a spirit arts user."

Subaru's posture relaxed as he exhaled deeply. "Thank god, I was worried I'd have to do this on my own. You see, I have this friend – you might recognize her, come to think of it. Silver hair, purple eyes, drop-dead gorgeous, has this green necklace; anyway, some blonde girl stole something from her, so I wanted to get it back. Care to help me out?"

Emilia froze. Subaru wondered if she was still breathing.

He raised an eyebrow. "You can say something, you know. How about, 'Oh, Subaru! You're so selfless, helping me out of the goodness of your heart!'" At her continued silence, bead of sweat dripped down Subaru's cheek. "Um… are you okay? I didn't break you, did I?" He looked at Puck. "Puck, did I break her?"

Faster than his eyes could track, Puck flew at him, fist outstretched. At that speed, being attacked by a great spirit should have knocked him unconscious. As it stood, he felt like he was being massaged by the softest pillow in existence.

"Apologies, Subaru," said Puck. "I just felt so much emotion and energy and I just _had_ to let it out somehow."

"And punching me was the way to do that?" Subaru asked incredulously.

"To be fair," defended Puck, "your face is quite punchable."

Subaru scowled. "Hey, that's no way to treat your friends!"

Emilia jolted, suddenly flustered. "Subaru, you… you nincompoop!"

Subaru frowned. "Is this because I offered to help? I get it's not a conventional reward, but I genuinely want to get your stuff back. And who even says 'nincompoop' nowadays?"

"No, that's not–" Emilia sputtered, ignoring his last comment. "You… you called me a… you don't even know me!"

Subaru cocked his head to the side, confused. "I don't follow."

"You said I was your friend!" she cried like he had committed a heinous sin.

Subaru tilted his head in confusion. "Is that a problem?"

"Of course, it is!" Emilia turned her head to the side, cupping her ears. "Don't you see? I'm a half-elf!" Subaru nodded, unperturbed. Frustrated, Emilia roughly grabbed a lock of her hair and shoved it forward. "Look at me!" she demanded. "Silver hair, purple eyes, and pointy ears!"

Subaru shrugged. "If you wanted me to compliment your appearance, you should have just said so." Clearing his throat, he adopted a ridiculous pose. "Your silver hair shines like the moon, your eyes are as dazzling as amethyst, and your ears," he closed his eyes and paused for dramatic effect, "pierce my heart."

After about half a minute of silence, Subaru cracked his eye open to see Emilia's beaming smile. "I think," she said slowly, "that it would be nice to have a friend. Thanks for everything, Subaru."

Not long after, Subaru and Emilia made their way to the marketplace to gather information.

"We're looking for this girl," said Subaru, handing a merchant a sheet of paper. "Have you seen her?"

"That's supposed to be a girl?" asked the merchant, bemused. "Looks more like a lizard to me."

"What? How does – oh, never mind." Subaru ripped his crude drawing out of the hands of yet another person and stomped off towards Emilia.

"Any luck?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I'm not the best artist, so people think I drew a mabeast."

"I got lizard. Seems we're in the same boat."

Emilia huffed. "Well, how else are we going to find one specific person here in the capital? We have to just keep trying."

"We could do that," agreed Subaru, "or we could check out a shady tavern. They _always_ have insider information."

"Perhaps," Emilia conceded, "but the capital isn't known for its lower-end facilities. Maybe in the southern slums, but…" her eyes widened. "Subaru, that's it! You're a genius!"

"I am? I mean," he cleared his throat, "of course I am. Whatever I suggested, we should definitely be doing."

Emilia giggled. "It seems I won't find any objections on your end. Puck?"

The spirit waved a paw dismissively. "I go where you go, Lia."

"Then it's decided," said Emilia. "We'll go to the slums."

Subaru slapped his forehead. "Of course, the slums! How did I forget that? I mean, think of that," he clarified at Emilia's questioning look. "Anyway, I'm clueless and a foreigner, so I have no idea where to go! Lead the way, so we may find your stolen treasure!" With that, he stomped off, Emilia and Puck following behind him.

"He sure walks with purpose for someone claiming to be a foreigner," muttered Puck.

"Hush, Puck," replied Emilia. "I said _southern_ slums, didn't I?" She smiled. "You're too suspicious, Puck. Didn't you say there's no malice coming from him?" She took Puck's silence as agreement, not noticing the look on his face.

"But that's not how you knew, is it, Subaru Natsuki?" Puck mumbled to himself. "What a strange boy you are."

The walk to the slums took them an hour, and the sun was beginning to fall low into the sky. "It's getting late," Emilia pointed out. "How are you doing on time, Puck?"

"I have maybe half-hour left," he said through a yawn, "give or take a few minutes. If I have a moment of rest, I could probably push for an hour."

"I don't think that's necessary, Puck," she told him. "Save your energy, and I'll call you if I need to." Puck flashed a thumbs up and began to fade.

"So, even great spirits get tired," mused Subaru. "You'd think beings like them would have limitless energy or something like that."

"Puck and I have a contract, which limits his power but allows him to directly help me." She smiled fondly in remembrance. "His proposed wording was actually, 'I'll do whatever I can to help my little Lia.'"

"Heh, it's like you're his daughter or something."

She fingered her necklace, thinking of those simple days in the snow. "He's always been a father to me. I couldn't imagine – Subaru? Subaru!"

With a sudden cry of anguish, Subaru fell to his hands and knees, gasping for breath. Emilia kneeled beside him, putting aside her confusion and panic for the moment. "What's wrong?" she asked desperately. "How can I help you?"

"I-I thought," he gasped out. "that I… but I couldn't, and now, and now you're…"

"It's okay," she soothed. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she knew that no one would ever want to be touched by a half-elf. "You're safe now. I'm right here. Let me help you."

Subaru panted, tearing his gaze from the ground to look towards Emilia. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. "You… want to help me?"

She jumped at the opening. "Yes, anything. You saved me, so let me save you."

He looked at her with eyes that had aged years in minutes. "Then run and don't look back."


	2. Elsa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiance for editing this fic and for not being a psycho like Elsa.

Emilia stared at Subaru, utterly bewildered. "How would that save you?" she asked incredulously. "I don't know what you're so scared of, but abandoning you isn't the right solution."

"Knowing that I let you get hurt would destroy me." He scratched roughly at his arm over his sleeve. "You said you owed me a debt, right? Getting your insignia back would mean double the reward. So, do me a favor and save yourself while you still can."

Emilia shook her head. "You're not making any sense, Subaru, but I'm not leaving you behind. Whatever's scaring you, we'll fight together."

Subaru's gaze pierced her before he let out a long-suffering sigh. "I was a fool to think this time would be any different," he muttered.

"Huh?"

He waved her off, saying, "Never mind. Forgive me, Emilia; I had a bit of anxiety."

If that was "a bit of anxiety," then Emilia worried what a panic attack would look like.

Subaru stood up, rolling his shoulders to relieve the tension. "We should be going," he said, determined to change the subject. "Just stay on your guard, all right?"

Emilia nodded. "I will." Looking down the street, Emilia mused, "The loot house the villager told us about… it's up ahead, isn't it?"

"Looks like it," Subaru agreed. "That's where we should find Felt. Just let me handle the negotiations. I was pretty good at this kinda stuff back in my homeland."

She gave him a sideways glance. "Negotiations?" she questioned. "There's no need for that. Felt stole something, so we should take it back."

He shook his head, saying, "Maybe in a normal situation, but not here." He spread his arms wide and faced the dilapidated homes. "Look around us. We're in the slums. These people have no money, little food, and piss-poor shelter. Also, we weren't sent to someone's house or a secret stash, but a pawn shop. These people are so deep in poverty, they _need_ to steal to survive. I'm not about to let some little kid starve just because we need something back."

Emilia wrung her hands. He was right. She was so selfish, wasn't she? Once again, she was placing her own desires over the less fortunate. "That's very noble of you," she said softly. She frowned as another problem presented itself. "We can't pay for it, Subaru. I have no money, and neither do you," Emilia pointed out.

Subaru gasped dramatically. "Wait, Emilia thinks I'm noble!" he cheered. "My efforts have finally paid off!" She gave him a withering glare and he sobered. "In all seriousness, I have something to trade. No objections," he said, cutting her off, "I've gotten good use out of it, and it should sell for at least twenty holy coins; that's more than enough to get them out of poverty."

Emilia narrowed her eyes and sternly said, "Just so you know, I'm not okay with you giving up your possessions for my sake."

"Are you kidding me? It's for my own selfishness." He adopted a heroic pose. "A shut-in like me would die for the chance to look chivalrous in front of a pretty girl."

Subaru chuckled at the joke that only he seemed to understand while Emilia pouted. "I don't like it, but I'll accept it on one condition," she conceded.

He grinned. "Yes, I'd love to go on a date with you!"

She scowled at him. It was cruel, implying someone like him would ever want to be with a half-elf. "That's not what I'm saying, and you know it," she said severely. "I was going to ask you to live with me."

Subaru's jaw dropped as his bravado vanished into the ether. Emilia's face flushed as she realized what she just said. "Wait, I didn't – I mean, I did, but not like that!" Subaru sputtered, and she frantically waved her hands in front of her. "R-really, um, it's not like that! My benefactor owns a mansion and there's hardly anyone living there, and you said you were homeless."

Emilia wished the ground would swallow her up. She should have stayed in the forest. She spoke quickly, trying to dig herself out of this hole. "I couldn't sleep at night if I let you live on the streets while there's a perfectly good place to stay." She nodded to herself, satisfied with her explanation. "See? It's for my own selfish benefit."

Subaru seemed to regain a bit of confidence. "It seems we're both a little bit selfish," he mused. He smiled at her, filling her with the strangest warmth. Perhaps he had a passive affinity for fire magic. "I'd love to take you up on your generous offer, Emilia. Now," looking up with renewed energy and a gleam in his eye, he exclaimed, "let's go get your stuff back!"

They made their way to the loot house, finding Old Man Rom, a literal giant of a man, and Felt, the blonde thief. Emilia reeled in her frustration as she kept Subaru's words in mind.

It wasn't their fault. They just wanted to survive.

Perhaps, as queen, Emilia could make their lives better.

Subaru proudly showed off his metia (he called it a 'sell fone') with a sales pitch so well-rehearsed, even Emilia wanted to buy it. If anything, that only made her feel worse. It was clear that he was planning on using this to get out of poverty but was instead choosing to waste it on a foolish girl who couldn't keep track of her own possessions.

A flash of light lit up the dingy bar. "OW!" Felt cried as she covered her eyes. "What the – warn me next time!"

Subaru gave her an impatient look. "I said, 'say cheese,' didn't I?"

"That doesn't mean anything!" she shouted, and Subaru laughed heartily.

"I assure you," he said, getting them back on track, "you'd be missing out if you don't buy this now. My competition is offering what, ten holy coins? Maybe twenty?" He shrugged like it was a small amount. "That's a pretty sum, but I can guarantee that there are people in the capital who would cough up _far_ more for a one-of-a-kind metia."

"He's right," confirmed Old Man Rom, a hulking but kind man. "I'd take this while you can. You could get outta this place if you sell that to some noble."

"Yes, but what if our other client offers us more?" Felt rebutted. "I could get us _both_ out of here."

Rom shook his head, saying, "Nah, I'm too deep in this business. But you? You're still young." With a gentleness unbefitting his size, he guided Felt towards Subaru's outstretched hands. "Take the metia and you can start over."

Felt crossed her arms and looked away. "Not a chance, Old Man," she insisted. "I'm waiting for our other client and that's final."

Subaru pocketed the metia with a sigh. "So be it," he muttered. "Just be prepared, all right? Disputes between clients can get messy, and I don't want someone to pull a knife on you. So, if it comes to blows, just run, okay?"

The giant gave a hearty laugh at that. "Bwahaha! What do you take us for? We've seen everything here. I'd be more worried about your sorry ass."

"I wouldn't worry about me," Subaru countered. "I'm not one to stay dead." Turning to Emilia, Subaru continued. "Looks like everything is all good here. Why don't you head out, and I'll meet you?"

Emilia shook her head, offended. "You're selling a priceless artifact for my sake and now you expect me to leave your side?" she asked in disbelief. "I don't know where you're from, but that's not how it works in Lugunica." She frowned, realizing she never asked about his homeland. "Where _are_ you from, anyway?"

"A small island nation to the east," he brushed off. "You wouldn't have heard of it."

She could tell he wasn't lying, but she knew there was nothing to the east. "I've studied geography extensively and I'm sure I would have –"

"Trust me," he said with a tone of finality. "Only a couple of people in Lugunica are from my homeland; you won't find it in any book or map."

"That makes no sense," she argued. "Surely, a sailor would have brought word of land to the east."

"Emilia," he stressed, looking pained, "you won't find it. I'd love to say something like, 'why don't I just take you there?' but I can't. Only extremely rare circumstances allow you to leave my homeland, and once you're summoned here, you can't go back alive."

Her eyes softened. She shouldn't have pushed him. "Subaru…"

"But hey, it's fine!" He grinned, but Emilia could tell it was to hide his suffering. "Sure, I sometimes miss it, but I've met so many wonderful people here. I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"I understand." She didn't but knew when to drop a topic.

He smiled softened into something genuine. "I'm serious. I got to meet you, didn't I?"

Emilia's eyes widened. "I –"

"Hate to break apart such a touching moment," interrupted Rom, causing the two to jump in their seats, "but our other guest has arrived."

Subaru whipped around to face the door, clenching his fists tightly. A woman stood there, silhouetted in the moonlight.

"My, oh, my, it looks like we have a full party." She stepped forward, revealing dark eyes trained on Emilia. "My name is Elsa. It's an honor to meet you all."

* * *

"I told ya, Felt," said Rom. "The metia's a much better deal. Now you've wasted the nice lady's time."

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Felt. "Not like I care. I got what I wanted out of it."

Subaru stood up abruptly, almost knocking over the table. "Great! Glad that's settled. Come on, Emilia, let's head out."

"R-right," Emilia mumbled, perturbed by his nervousness. He'd been shaking the entire time, stealing glances at Elsa as if she were going to pull out a knife. Was this somehow connected to his anxiety?

He marched towards the door, a befuddled Emilia following close behind. "Nice meeting you guys," he called over his shoulder. Have a great life, thanks for –"

"Oh, dear," cooed Elsa. Subaru froze near the door, causing Emilia to almost bump into him. "It seems I forgot to mention my client's exact directive."

"Y-yeah?" asked Subaru, fearing the answer.

Elsa licked her lips. "'Offer ten holy coins for the insignia," she whispered, though everyone heard it. "If they refuse, offer ten more. If, by some chance, they don't accept your generous offer,'" she leaned in and gave a bloodthirsty grin, saying "'kill every last one of them.'"

From within her cloak, Elsa brandished twin daggers made of steel so dark, they were almost invisible in the night. She lunged forward with inhuman speed.

Her blessing, her curse, was targeting Emilia; Elsa would not, _could not_ rest until the half-elf's bowels were in her sight. She could see it now… throbbing with the ichor of life, twisted and slick with fluid, her knife coated with the scent of blood! It was right there, _so close_ _she could taste it!_

But the human boy intervened. He pushed the half-elf out of the way, and the blow only skimmed his side.

A shame. The blood of a half-elf tasted much better than a human's, and the side was nothing compared to the filet.

The half-elf's eyes widened in fear. "S-Subaru? You –"

"No time," he grunted. "Get Puck. He should still have some energy left."

She nodded and called for her spirit, and he appeared behind her, glaring at Elsa with sheer disdain.

"A great spirit!" Elsa cried, spreading her arms in reverence. "It will be an honor to slice you open."

"You can try," growled the spirit, a shield of ice appearing in front of the girl, "but as long as I have my daughter to protect, you won't even be able to scratch me."

"I see," Elsa murmured. "Your magic is wonderful. You truly are loved by this world, as am I. But which one of us is loved more?"

In response, the spirit sent a blizzard of crystals towards her heart, but she dodged it easily. It was a waste of energy on both sides; there's no use targeting the heart of a heartless killer.

Ice crystals aimed at her brain, on the other hand, she might want to dodge.

Else leaped into the air, somersaulting over the spirit's attack and behind its shield; she tried to slash with her knife, only to be tackled by the giant.

"I don't often bar people from this fine establishment," Rom growled, "bad for business, an' all that – but I'll make an exception for you." He raised his head towards the blonde. "Felt!"

She nodded."Got it!"

Surrounded by a personal hurricane of wind magic, Felt dashed towards the downed Elsa, a dagger in hand.

"A Divine Protection!" cheered Elsa. "What a fine assassin you'd make." Despite being pinned by Rom, Elsa easily wiggled free, aiming a strike at Felt's stomach. With a burst of wind, Felt twisted in the air, choosing to be hit with the flat of the blade instead of the tip. The sheer force of the strike threw her across the room; she crashed into a barrel of liquor and was still.

"Felt!" Rom yelled as he desperately ran towards the blonde girl. Turning his back to an assassin? Elsa couldn't _wait_ to see his organs spill. She threw one of her knives and grinned when it was knocked out of the air by an ice crystal. She loved it when her prey put up a fight.

"Don't hurt him!" the half-elf shouted. "I'm your target, right? Not them, me!"

Elsa giggled. "The role of the martyr suits you, darling," she taunted. "Emilia, was it?"

Emilia responded with a barrage of ice magic.

Elsa clucked her tongue and shook her head. "Now, now, that's not a very lady-like response to a simple question." Casually dodging attacks from both Emilia and Puck, Elsa slowly closed in. Emilia tried to back away but quickly found herself against a wall. A horizontal slash and her blade tasted flesh – sweet, glorious flesh! It tore and it ripped _and it cut and it sliced–_

But it wasn't enough. As soon as her knife pierced skin, a weight crashed into her back and her blade was misdirected, the cut no longer lethal. Elsa flung the weight onto a nearby wall as Emilia collapsed, holding her stomach, and gasping in pain.

Puck ceased his attack and flew to Emilia, his aura flaring. The half-elf was incapacitated, her stomach sliced open. The giant had long since escaped with Felt. There were no more obstacles. A shame: she had hoped this job would be somewhat challenging.

Elsa turned to find that the mysterious weight was in fact the boy from earlier, struggling to get up. Within the blink of an eye, she pulled out a knife and threw it, embedding it into his leg. He screamed in pain as his face clenched in agony.

"My, my, you're quite the nuisance," Elsa gently scolded. "Attacking a woman from behind? That's very naughty."

"Fuck you," he ground out through clenched teeth.

A light gasp escaped her lips as she covered her mouth with a deceptively delicate hand. "Dear me, that isn't any way to speak to a lady, now is it? Oh, I know! I'll just cut off your head; you won't be saying anything else when I'm done."

With a laugh full of unrestrained joy, she dashed forward.

Five meters away.

Four.

Three.

Two.

She never reached one.

At one and a half meters away, Elsa stopped breathing. She found herself lifted into the air, legs dangling under her.

"What's… happening?"

Fingers crushed her throat, but there was no hand.

"Th-that power…"

Beneath her, the boy's concentration never wavered, his eyes filled with smoldering hatred.

"Y-you are not loved by this world."

Her vision was fading as she began losing consciousness. Did she fail? Was her mission over? No, it was not. It was merely… postponed.

" _You are loved by the witch!"_


	3. The Sword Saint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for being a fantastic editor and for being my motivation to write.

It was official: Reinhard van Astrea had no idea how to take a day off.

The captain's order was very clear: "You work too damn much. Take a vacation or your hair will turn gray." Perhaps it was vain of him, but Reinhard liked his hair color. It reminded him of his dear grandmother.

So, he donned his uniform – it wouldn't do to stray _too_ far from his routine – and walked the streets of the Royal Capital. No, he wasn't patrolling. He was simply… strolling casually. If his posture was stiff and his eyes were constantly looking for anyone up to no good, well... What the captain doesn't know won't hurt him.

A few citizens recognized him and waved, so he waved back. It _was_ his day off, so maybe he could be slightly less diligent. He walked over, prepared to start some friendly conversation, and was promptly tackled to the ground.

"What the –" he turned his head to find a boy in strange clothing on his back and a small crowd forming around him.

"You idiot," the boy berated Reinhard. "Don't you watch where you're going?"

Reinhard looked a bit insulted. "Of course, I do."

"Then why did you almost get run over by a ground dragon?"

"What ground dragon?" Reinhard sat up as the boy got off him, turning to see a dragon-drawn carriage on the side of the road, the driver looking a bit spooked. "I see," he muttered. Then, with a bright smile, "I must thank you, then, for saving my life." Of course, his multitude of Divine Protections would have allowed him to take the hit without feeling much of anything, but the boy didn't know that; he just selflessly risked his life to save a stranger.

It was times like these that reminded him of why he served Lugunica's people.

"Heh, it's no problem," the boy mumbled, suddenly a bit sheepish. He must have realized there was a crowd staring at him. "I'm Subaru Natsuki, and you're…" his eyes widened. "Wait a minute, Reinhard?"

"I see you're familiar with me." Reinhard bowed his head and respectfully said, "Thank you, Subaru Natsuki. I am in your debt."

"Debt, huh," said Subaru, with a hand on his chin. "You know, I might need your help with this thing in the slums tonight…" He shook his head. "Actually, you know what? Don't worry about any debt. I don't need anything, so I won't take it."

"That's not –" Reinhard began, but Subaru must have seen something behind Reinhard because he took off running.

"Don't worry about it," he called over his shoulder. "Nice meeting you, gotta go, bye!"

"What a strange boy," said Reinhard to no one in particular. He grinned. "Sorry, captain, but it looks like I'll be patrolling the slums tonight."

* * *

It was unfortunate, mused Reinhard, how one's birth dictated their social status. He was an Astrea; he was revered from birth, had contacts with the Royal Guard before he could walk, and would never have to worry about money.

The poor souls in the slums had nothing.

Still, the Royal Selection was fast approaching. Of the five, two were unknown: one was not revealed and the other was yet to be found. Perhaps one of them could bring justice to this place – the Dragon knew Priscilla wouldn't.

"Help!" a call rang out. "We need a healer!" A giant of a man (or perhaps he _was_ a giant) was sprinting in the direction of the capital, a young girl in his arms. Reinhard jogged over to intercept them.

"I'm a knight; let me help you," he said, arms out in a calming gesture. "It looks like this young lady needs some medical attention. I don't mean to brag, but I have some skill in healing."

"I don't care," the giant snapped. "Just stop ramblin' and heal my granddaughter."

Ignoring the disrespect (the man was under a lot of stress, so it was perfectly understandable), Reinhard bent over the blonde girl in the man's arms. There was a nasty bump on her head; she probably had a concussion. A simple hand gesture and the bump vanished. Another wave and the multitude of cuts on her body disappeared as well. Her breathing evened out and she relaxed in the giant's arms.

The Divine Protection of Spellcasting was quite a useful skill, especially if one had a broken gate.

"The hell..." breathed the giant. "I've never seen a healer work so fast." He looked at Reinhard, gratefulness in his eyes. "Thank you. Afraid I got nothin' to repay you with."

"That is no issue," he waved off. "My name is Reinhard. And yours?"

"They call me Old Man Rom." He jerked his head towards the girl in his arms. "This one here is Felt."

"Felt, hmm?" Leaning over to get a better look at the girl he healed, Reinhard's eyes widened. "There actually _is_ something you can repay me with, and at no cost to you. In fact, it may be mutually beneficial."

"I told you already," Rom grumbled. "I got nothin'."

"You don't need anything," Reinhard assured him. "Go to the capital and head to Astrea Chateau. Tell them Reinhard sent you and that the two of you are to be treated as honored guests."

Rom paused. "You're shittin' me," he deadpanned.

"No defecation involved, I assure you," Reinhard stated without a hint of humor. "I would greatly appreciate it if you could do this for me."

"Bwahaha!" laughed Rom with a face-splitting grin. "You rich folks are nuts, but I'm not complainin'. Thanks again for healing Felt." He began to walk away before he seemed to remember something. "By the way, mind checkin' up on my bar? Some things went down south with a client, and there was a bit of a tussle. Nothing major, but it's bad for my heart to worry about those two."

Reinhard narrowed his eyes. "Perhaps this is an odd question, but was one of them named Subaru?"

"Somethin' like that," Rom grunted. "Weird kid, but seems to be good in a fight. How did you –"

But Reinhard was long gone.

"If this is 'nothing major,'" he muttered upon entering the run-down establishment, "I shudder to think of what constitutes significance in his eyes." It was utterly demolished. Not a single table or chair lay intact and barrels of liquor were punctured, their contents wasted on the floors. The walls were covered in splotches of blood.

 _'What in the Dragon's name happened here?'_ he thought. No tavern brawl caused this much carnage.

"S-Subaru," a whisper came from his left, only audible in the silence of the wreckage. He whipped around to find a silver-haired girl laying in a pool of her own blood. Fresh scars littered her midriff, but no major wounds were in sight.

He knelt down to her level. "What happened here, miss?" he asked softly. "I can heal you. Where does it hurt?"

"D-don't, not me, Subaru, help Subaru," she pleaded, and with that, the poor thing lost consciousness.

Despite her request, he gave her a quick once-over, assuring himself that her condition was stable. It seemed someone must have already healed her. He uttered a calming spell; it wouldn't do for her to wake when her body desperately needed rest.

Reinhard scanned the perimeter looking for Subaru, finding him towards the back. He frowned; he saw now why the silver-haired girl was so concerned. Subaru was deathly pale; a stark contrast to the blood splattered on his skin. His right side was wide open, his entrails visible. A knife was embedded into his leg, and open wounds littered his body. If it wasn't for the slight rise and fall of his chest, Reinhard might have pegged him for a dead man.

He ran to Subaru's side, immediately getting to work. Not for the first time, he cursed his own arrogance. When Old Man Rom told him there was trouble at the loot house, he walked. When the silver-haired girl – who was clearly in a stable condition – begged him to save her friend, he ignored her.

It didn't matter how much power he had; if he was too slow, he couldn't save anyone.

But now was not the time for self-pity. A good person was going to die on his watch if he didn't act fast. He tore off part of his coat (mentally apologizing to the captain, of course) and began cleaning the wound on Subaru's side; there may be a knife stuck in his leg, but infection would kill the poor kid if even an ounce of dirt got in there. He was methodical in his ministrations; taking the time to make sure that not a single square centimeter went untouched was paramount. He cast one of his most potent healing spells, watching with grim fascination as the wound closed in upon itself.

Reinhard grimaced when he was finished. It would leave an ugly scar, but at least Subaru wouldn't die of sepsis.

Next was the knife in Subaru's leg. Compared to his other injuries, it wasn't too bad. The knife acted as a barrier; dirt and toxins would not come in, and blood would not leak out. Reinhard ripped it out like a bandage on a child and quickly used a spell to close the wound. All that remained was a thin, white scar.

The rest of Subaru's wounds were superficial and were easily dealt with. He was no longer bleeding, and his breathing had evened out.

Despite that, he was dying.

Reinhard could feel it; the Od leaking out of Subaru. It was not an injury of the body, but of his very life force.

Reinhard knew of only one solution to a problem such as this. It was risky for both parties involved and a massive invasion of privacy. If he did it, Subaru would undoubtedly hate him. However, if he didn't, Subaru would die.

In the end, was there even a choice to make?

Reinhard closed his eyes, reached out with his mana, and _plunged_.

* * *

_I can't feel anything.  
Was there anything?  
No breath, no air, no heart, no lungs._

Reinhard tried to ground himself, but there was no stone to stand on, no _himself_ to ground.

He tried wiping the sweat off his brow, but he had no face.

He tried to clench his fists, but he had no hands.

He tried to scream, but he had no mouth.

For a terrifying moment, Reinhard van Astrea, the legendary Sword Saint, ceased to exist.

"I can't overlook what's going on here."

His eyes shot open as his senses returned to him. Delirious, he crashed into a wall and collapsed. The world in front of him was spinning. Through hazy vision, he could make out a wisp of silver, a powerful aura flaring around it.

He squinted as he slowly regained his bearings. That aura… it was surrounding the girl from earlier, except there were no scars, no blood. Determination shone on her face as she blasted nearby thugs with ice crystals, causing them to flee.

With the threat gone, the girl kneeled in front of the boy, which Reinhard recognized to be Subaru. Even from the side, the look of adoration and awe on his face was visible to any onlookers. Reinhard couldn't help but feel like an intruder.

Which, of course, he was.

To heal Subaru's Od, Reinhard needed to confront what made Subaru… Subaru.

"It should be around here somewhere," he murmured. He closed his eyes and reached out with his mana. He felt it, just barely, inside the girl. Or, rather, it _was_ the girl.

Could one person truly leave such an impact?

Reinhard thrust his arm out and _pulled_. The recoil almost knocked him off his feet, but he held steady. In his arms was a thin, shining string: a fraction of Subaru's Od.

He kneeled down beside Subaru, gripping the glowing strands of life tight. He steeled himself, pulled back his arm, then thrust it forward as fast as he could, straight into Subaru's heart.

* * *

White.

While before, there was nothing, not even blackness, now all Reinhard could see was an endless white. The was no sensation except an unfathomable cold. His sense of direction was warped; no right, no left, no north, no south. All he could do was move forward.

It was impossible to know if he had walked for a few seconds or a lifetime, for time itself had been wiped out in this forsaken place.

A lesser man would have been driven to insanity, but he was no lesser man. He forcibly grabbed what little mana remained in the surrounding ether, demanding that the universe bend to his will. There, in the distance, shone a pinprick of light. It was not visible to anyone, let alone him, but he _saw_ it, nonetheless.

"Sleep," it was saying, "along with my daughter."

He suppressed a shiver at the emptiness, the soullessness of that voice. Truly, one could not speak like that unless they lost everything, and what greater pain was there than of a parent losing a child?

He struggled forward, exerting his power over this illusory realm. It was not his to command, but he subjugated it anyway. The universe obeyed, clearing his vision, and he knew his life would never be the same.

Ahead of him was Subaru Natsuki, covered in snow and cradling a dead woman in his arms. However, it was not the woman that frightened him so.

It was Subaru's head leaving his body that shook Reinhard to the core.

He wanted to stand there in shock, to blather at the absurdity and impossibility of it all, but he could not. His selfish need for knowledge could wait until his friend was saved.

Reinhard pressed on, marching towards the monster who was proclaiming the end of the world. With a stray thought, he manipulated the surrounding blizzard into a set of stairs. Of course, not just anyone could walk on stairs made of water vapor, but Reinhard was never one to follow the expectations set upon him.

One step at a time, he pushed forward. With every passing second (or whatever constituted a 'second' in this hellscape) his mana was further depleted. Soon, he would have naught but his Od and his will.

The great beast lay ahead. Reinhard gazed upon its massive form, and golden eyes stared back.

This was a memory: Subaru's memory. Reinhard was not 'here,' and the beast should not be able to see him. Then again, Subaru shouldn't remember dying in the apocalypse.

A voice, filled with grief and rage, thundered across the landscape. "Why are you here?"

The great spirit wasn't truly asking, but Reinhard answered anyway. "To save Subaru Natsuki."

"A fool's errand," said the spirit. "The boy is selfish and weak. He is not worth saving."

He saw it differently. "His selfish desire is to save others and he is strong despite his weakness."

Glowing eyes pierced into him, unimpressed. "You do not know the boy but you claim to understand him."

He shook his head. "I claim no such thing. All I know is that this boy, this _man_ , has a dark power; one that can tear apart his very Od if used in excess. It is because of the dark power that I trust him unconditionally. An evil man would not recklessly use that power to save a friend. Subaru will always choose the selfless path, even for a stranger like myself."

The Sword Saint unsheathed the Dragon Sword, recognizing a worthy opponent. "I know who you are, Beast of the End. I warn you: stand down and give back the essence of Subaru Natsuki or perish."

But the Beast of the End was grieving and did not listen. "I care not for the boy who let my daughter die," it growled, its aura lashing out. "As per my contract, I will destroy this world. It is nothing without my beloved daughter."

Reinhard bowed his head as he gripped his sword with both hands, his knuckles turning white as he solemnly declared, "So be it."

To call it a 'fight' would be inaccurate; even 'massacre' did not describe what happened. A single swing of the Dragon Sword and the Beast of the End was wiped from existence as the sun returned to Lugunica.

All that remained of the conflict was Subaru's headless body and the glowing strands of life in Reinhard's palm.

* * *

Reinhard waded through a sea of grass and sunflowers, the sunlight hitting him at just the right angle. It was a stark contrast to the wasteland he left behind, that's for sure. However, it was not the landscape that changed a man, but the people in it.

He found Subaru and the silver-haired girl from earlier laying in the field, although they looked older: somewhere in their early twenties instead of seventeen or eighteen. Subaru looked a bit different, but the eyes, voice, and soul were identical. Without a doubt, this was the same man as before.

"You don't have to stay here," Subaru told the girl. "We could run away. Just you and me."

"You know we can't, my love," said the woman, her black dress swaying softly in the breeze. "I'm doing this for Mother, and we wouldn't even be having this conversation if not for her. I owe her so much."

"You've paid her back a million times over," he growled. "All you do is give and all she does it take. But this?" He shook his head vehemently. "It's too much."

The woman propped herself up on her elbow, gazing at him with a mixture of love and sorrow. "'Tis sweet that you care, but do not concern yourself with me," she said tiredly as if they'd had this conversation dozens of times. "I've already accepted my fate."

"And that's wrong," he insisted with grief in his eyes. "Your life has value. You shouldn't throw it away for that madwoman." He put his hand on her cheek and spoke with such conviction that it brought her to tears. "You don't have to suffer through this anymore. You need to love yourself, and you can't do that here. Please, run away with me."

The woman wouldn't meet his eyes. "B-but –"

"You saved me when I was alone in this world. You took my dying, mangled body, and brought it back to life with your love. You've given me everything, so let me give everything back. I want to give you light. I want to take you by the hand and show you the world outside. Whenever you're having nightmares, I'll kiss the tears away, just like you do for me. You'll never be alone because I'll always be by your side. I love you, and I promise to prove it every day for the rest of our lives."

Her eyes glistened as she allowed hope to creep into her voice. "You… would do that for me?"

"That and more," he said earnestly. "I love you, and I'd do anything for you." He smiled and stood up, pulling her along with him. "Tell you what: I'll prove it to you, right here and now!"

The woman choked out a laugh, not bothering to hide her tears. "How do you plan to accomplish that?" she asked in a whisper.

"Like this." He got down on one knee and pulled out a ring with an amethyst in the center. With love in his eyes, he uttered, "Marry me, Ella."

As she returned his love and slipped the ring on her finger, Reinhard took his chance and pulled the glowing strands of life out of the amethyst.

He had intruded more than enough.

* * *

Reinhard found himself in what could only be described as a citadel of shadows. Tall, purple spires held up a ceiling of stars, the miasma dancing around them. There was no floor; only a field of darkness prevented him from falling to oblivion. The was a sense of pressure in the room as if the shadows themselves wanted to exert their dominance.

Subaru was nowhere to be seen, meaning this was not another memory, so why was Reinhard here?

Perhaps, he mused, the better question was 'who brought him here?'

He grasped the pommel of his sword, only to discover it missing. The legendary Dragon Sword Reid, forged by the Sword God himself, was gone.

Needless to say, he was immediately on edge.

From all around him, a voice whispered, snaking through one ear and out the other.

" _Seen too much seen too much seen too much seen too much seen too much seen too much too much too much too much too much love him love him I love him I love him you can't have him you can't have him mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine"_

"Who's there?" Reinhard called, scanning the room. The sense of pressure from before had doubled. "Are you the one who brought me to this place?"

From nothing coalesced a mirage of shadows; the haunting visage of a woman draped in darkness.

" _All mine all mine all mine all mine you can't have him can't can't leave this place leave this place he's mine"_

Reinhard felt it more than saw it: a barrage of miasma in the shape of an arm barreling towards him at unfathomable speeds. He didn't bother moving; after all, his Divine Protection of Avoidance would–

"Ack!" he cried as he clutched his throat. He was lifted into the air, and no matter how hard he struggled, he was not released. He wished for a Divine Protection to help him escape, but the Od Laguna could not reach him here.

He had no weapon. No power. No hope. Nothing.

" _You can't have him have him can't have him die die die won't take him from me he's mine mine mine"_

The Witch's Hand tightened. For the first time in his life, Reinhard was afraid.

The woman – no, the monster approached him as he desperately clawed at his throat. He wanted to beg for his life, to cry for help, but he couldn't breathe couldn't breathe _couldn't breathe_ –

" _I WON'T LET YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME"_

"P-please," he managed to gasp out, "just let me save Subaru." The woman froze just a few feet away from him as the pressure on his throat decreased ever so slightly. He gasped, taking in as much air as possible and using it to plead for his friend's life. "H-he's in danger, his Od is damaged, I-I just want to help him."

He looked at the woman but was unable to see her face; all that was visible was silver hair and shadows. "If… if you won't let me leave this place, that's fine. You can kill me, but it's not fair to let Subaru die when he didn't do anything wrong."

Suddenly, the hand on his throat released him and he fell to the floor, collapsing in a heap. The great Sword Saint, the undefeatable Reinhard van Astrea, lay beaten and pathetic before an unknown foe.

The woman kneeled beside him as he flinched away, hating the feeling of powerlessness he felt in her presence. She reached out, clearly aiming to choke him with her own hands instead of her magic–

Only to find it gently placed on his shoulder.

He looked up, bewildered. "What are you –"

" _Save him,"_ she whispered, her voice like a silver bell.

"I don't understand," he tried to say, but couldn't.

" _He deserves to live,"_ she continued softly. She was gentle and sweet; a stark contrast to the monster from before. _"To laugh. To love. The one I love… needs to love himself."_

For just a moment, the shadows around her face dispersed and he gasped.

" _Tell my love… to kill me."_

The woman disappeared, the citadel crumbled, and Reinhard was left with the glowing strands of life.


	4. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my fiancé for editing this and for agreeing to marry a guy who writes anime fanfiction instead of playing football.

_'Where am I?'_ Emilia wondered. _'Why does my stomach hurt so bad?'_

Her eyes fluttered open only to be promptly shut. It was so bright... but wasn't it nighttime at the loot house?

Wait… where was -

"Subaru!" she cried as she shot up, ignoring her protesting stomach. "He needs help! Please –"

"Your friend is fine," soothed an unfamiliar voice. "He's getting some much-needed rest."

She looked around, still a bit delirious. "Who said that?"

"Over here." The sliding door at the front of the carriage opened (when did she get in a carriage?) to reveal a man with red hair. "My name is Reinhard. I am a knight of this kingdom. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Ella."

"You as well, Sir Reinhard." She absent-mindedly tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before asking, "Wait, what did you just call me?"

"Ella," he repeated. "That is your name, is it not?"

She shook her head, confused. "I don't know where you got that notion. My name is Emilia."

"I see. I apologize for my mistake. You reminded me of someone I'd met before."

"Then why did you just introduce –"

"Your friend is in the back if you'd like to see him," he said, successfully distracting her. She whipped around, completely missing the troubled look on his face.

Emilia knelt next to the sleeping Subaru, unconsciously reaching out to stroke his hair. "Poor thing… you got reeaally hurt, didn't you? You're such an idiot, Subaru," she whispered. "Why would you risk your life for me? You barely know me."

She wasn't expecting a response but continued anyway. "I wasn't strong enough, and now you're hurt." She scoffed, but not at him. "Pathetic, isn't it? I'm trying to become queen, but I can't save a single person."

She bit her lip. "We're… friends, right? You said we were friends, and I'd like that more than anything, but…" She trailed off, her voice wavering. "...Friends don't leave each other, so don't die on me, okay? I could never forgive myself if I let you die."

She rested her forehead against his as she cupped his cheek, the strangest warmth filling her soul at the action. It was like she was _supposed_ to do this. "Come back to me, Subaru Natsuki," she said softly. "I worry about you."

From the front of the carriage, Reinhard – who was not eavesdropping, as that would not be knightly – relaxed. He still had a plethora of questions, each more mind-boggling than the next, but at least he now knew for sure that the girl in the carriage wasn't the monster from Subaru's Od.

But those ears, eyes and hair, and the name 'Ella…'

"Sir Reinhard?" called Emilia, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, Miss Emilia?"

She bit her lip. "What happened to Elsa?"

He frowned. "Is that another friend of yours?" he asked. "I'm afraid there was no one else at the establishment when I found you."

She looked troubled as she muttered, "So, she escaped."

The carriage was quiet, the conscious occupants mulling over their thoughts. "I was going to wait until both of you were awake," he said slowly, "but it would be much appreciated if you explained what happened."

It took a while, but she told him everything: how her insignia was stolen, meeting Subaru, their negotiations at the loot house, and finally, Elsa's attack.

"I must say, I'm impressed," said Reinhard after she finished. "Few have survived attacks from the Bowel Hunter, and even fewer have fought her off."

She tilted her head and asked, "The Bowel Hunter?"

"The one you call Elsa. She gained her reputation for slicing open the bellies of her victims. She is exceptionally powerful, and her mortality has been called into question." He paused as the memories flashed before his mind's eye. "I don't know the details of how Subaru fought her off after you were injured but it clearly wasn't pleasant. His Od was severely damaged, so he might be mentally unstable."

She looked towards Subaru, eyes shining with determination. "Then I will take care of him," she declared. "He saved my life; the least I can do is be there for him."

Reinhard bowed his head. "Then I must thank you in advance."

They sat in silence for some time. Suddenly, Emilia slapped her forehead. "I am so, so, sooo stupid!" she cried. "Ram! She must be worried sick!"

A pink head of hair appeared next to Reinhard. "Please avoid flattering yourself, Miss Emilia. It is unbecoming."

She gaped. "Ram?" she stuttered. "How did you… what?"

The maid bowed her head, unable to curtsy from her seated position. "Good morning to you too, Miss Emilia."

Reinhard chuckled. "Forgive her aloofness; when I came across her, she was desperately searching for you. What was the description she gave?" He put a finger on his chin and pretended to think. "Ah, yes. 'Silver hair, purple eyes, white clothes, and a wonderful smile.'"

Ram closed her eyes in existential pain. "I said no such thing. Please silence yourself."

It wasn't very funny, but after everything that happened, Emilia couldn't help but laugh.

The trip to Roswaal's mansion didn't take much more than a few hours, but to Emilia, it felt like days. She was exhausted, sure, but she needed to get Subaru to a proper bed; the bumpy road must have been horrible for his injuries.

Upon arrival, Emilia, Ram, and Reinhard (carrying a still-unconscious Subaru) were received by Rem and Roswaal.

Roswaal took off his hat with a flourish and bowed. "Ah, Miss Emilia," he greeted. "How woonderful to see you."

Emilia nodded at her benefactor. "It's good to see you as well, Roswaal," she said politely, knowing she was about to ask for a large favor. "I request that this boy be allowed to live in this mansion. He saved my life at great risk to his own and was severely injured in the process."

He leaned forward, inspecting Subaru. "Of course!" he exclaimed, suddenly cheery. "He may stay as looong as he wishes!"

"Thank you, Lord Roswaal." With that, she headed inside, completely missing the odd look that Reinhard gave Rem.

Emilia led Reinhard to one of the many guest rooms, choosing one with a nice view of the flower gardens. Reinhard laid Subaru on the bed, the blankets surrounding him as if they had a mind of their own.

"How did you do that?" she asked as she fussed over Subaru to make sure he was comfortable. "I know of no bed-making spell."

"It's not a spell," the Sword Saint explained. "It is my Divine Protection of Pillow-Fluffing."

She frowned and said, "That's not a real Divine Protection."

"It is now," stated Reinhard, ignoring her huff. "I trust you will watch over him?"

"Of course," she said with certainty. "He's my friend."

"Friend," he echoed. "Fascinating. If I may ask, how long have you known him for?"

That was a tough question. She wasn't sure how long she was unconscious for, but it couldn't have been more than twelve hours or so. "Only a day," she decided.

"Really, now?" he asked, looking thoughtful. "Miss Emilia, pardon my presumptuousness, but do you happen to have any gaps in your memory?"

Her eyes widened. "I don't know where you obtained such a notion," she said quickly, "but I assure you, I have a perfectly good memory."

"You're lying," he stated with narrowed eyes. "My Divine Protection of Wind Indication will not allow such deceit."

"Great," she mumbled, hiding her shame behind annoyance. "Any other Divine Protections I should know about?"

He didn't respond. She huffed and admitted, "It's true. I cannot remember anything from before I was twelve years old."

"Twelve?" he asked, eyebrows raised. "Not, perhaps, twenty-one, give or take a few years?"

"I'm eighteen years old," she pointed out. "How could I remember my twenties?"

"I cannot fault your logic," he said without a hint of teasing. "I happen to have one last question, and I need you to answer it honestly." His blue eyes grew cold and the air thinned. She shivered and pulled her cloak tighter around her shoulders. To think someone had this much control over their aura…

He placed his hand on the pommel of his sword, and asked lowly, "Are you sure your name isn't Ella?"

She frowned but answered anyway. "I am Emilia. Only Emilia. No one has ever called me 'Ella' before." She rubbed her arms gently as she sheepishly asked, "Can you, um, please stop exerting your aura? It's a bit hard to breathe."

The tension dropped and he smiled gently. "Apologies, Miss Emilia. I just had to be sure."

She gave him a sideways glance, telling him, "You're reeaally strange, you know that?"

"I have been told as such, Miss Emilia." With nothing else to accomplish, he turned and headed out, saying, "Thank you for answering my questions. I will leave Subaru in your capable hands."

"A-actually, um..."

He looked at her in askance. "Yes? How may I help you?"

Gathering her thoughts, she said, "You've asked me a lot of questions, and I answered to the best of my ability, so may I ask you something as well?"

"Of course," he said with a nod.

She bit her lip. "First, I need you to promise not to hurt Subaru after I ask you."

He raised his eyebrows at the audacity but was not upset in any way. "Making a promise such as that before getting information is dangerous. Doing it before a question? I must say, my curiosity is peaked." With a smile, he vowed, "I shall not hurt Subaru Natsuki as a result of your question, nor of the answer I may or may not provide."

"That's, um, a much better reaction than I was hoping for." She hesitated. Then, quietly, "It's about something Elsa said. Before she lost consciousness, she told Subaru he was 'loved by the Witch.' What could she have meant by that?"

Reinhard's eyes became haunted and he looked away, but he said nothing.

"Please, you must know _something_ ," she pleaded. "If you didn't, you'd just say you didn't know."

He let out a deep breath. "Before I say anything, I would implore you to think about what I say before making any rash judgments." Finally meeting her eyes, he affirmed, "None of this is Subaru's fault."

She smiled thinly. "I believe that's my line."

"I suppose it is." He paused, trying to put his thoughts into words. "When healing his Od, I saw Subaru's mind. I will not say what I saw, as I'm sure he would rather tell you on his own time."

She nodded. She remembered reading about the process to heal one's Od, and despite her curiosity, she knew not to pry. It was supposed to be an intensely personal experience. Reinhard continued, saying, "I believe what Elsa was referring to was Subaru's Authority, which is a dark power connected to the Witch of Envy."

"Connections to the Witch," she mumbled in disbelief. "But Subaru is so... kind."

"He is a good man, from what I can gather," he agreed. "The fact he acts the way he does while the Witch's miasma runs through his veins is proof that Subaru is a trustworthy individual. Most people would be driven insane, yet he actively uses his powers to save his friends."

They looked down at the sleeping boy, each occupied by their own thoughts.

Emilia, of Subaru choking Elsa with his mind.

Reinhard, of a dead Subaru in a frozen hell.

And a blue-haired maid, just outside the door, of a burning village and her crying sister.

Two days later, Emilia found herself once again hovering by Subaru's bedside. "When do you think he'll wake up?" she asked, concerned. "He shouldn't be asleep for this long."

Despite Beatrice's magic and Emilia's constant care, he stubbornly refused to wake up. Did he _want_ to make Emilia worry? Was this normal behavior for friends? She didn't know.

At his bedside, twin maids huddled close to each other. "Sister, sister, our guest is truly a deadbeat, taking advantage of Lord Roswaal's hospitality."

"Rem, Rem, we should empty the chamber pots on him."

"That's enough you two," chided Emilia.

"Yes, Miss Emilia. Sister is sorry."

"Yes, Miss Emilia. I am actually not sorry."

She gazed at him worriedly. ' _He'll be fine_ ,' she thought, trying to comfort herself. _'Just another day, maximum.'_

Multiple days passed, yet his condition hadn't changed.

"My, this is quiiite the predicament," said Roswaal, though he didn't seem troubled. "What poor hosts we are, unable to entertaaain our honored guest with a meal."

"It's been a week." Emilia's tone was dull, empty. Shadows lined her eyes as she absently played with her food. "Why won't he wake up?

He smirked as he teased, "Perhaps true love's kiiiss will wake up your sleeping hero."

She glared at him as she angrily said, "Don't even joke about that. He'd hate me."

She stabbed at a pea, glowering at it like it was personally responsible for Subaru's coma. "It just doesn't make sense," she fumed, though she didn't know who her ire was directed at. "I know his Od was damaged, but after Reinhard fixed it, he should have woken up within the day. Something else must be hurting him."

At that moment, Beatrice walked in, and announced, "There is nothing wrong with him, I suppose."

Roswaal lit up. "Ahhh, Beatrice!" he exclaimed. "How looovely of you to joooin us!"

"I am not here for you, pervert!" she snapped. "Betty is merely here to see when you wanted me to take the boy off my stasis spell, I wonder."

Emilia dropped her fork. "What do you mean, 'stasis spell'?" she asked lowly.

"I meant what I said, hmph!" The spirit crossed her arms in irritation and said, "His condition stabilized after a few hours, so he stopped needing it, I suppose."

A shadow covered Emilia's eyes as her hand shook. "This whole time, I've been worried sick, wondering if Subaru would ever wake up, and he was under a _stasis spell_?!" The room cooled significantly as Emilia's aura threatened to lash out. Ice crystals appeared and disappeared all around her.

Beatrice was unimpressed. "It's not Betty's problem if you were too dense to notice, I suppose." With that, she turned and left.

Roswaal raised his eyebrows, amused at the display. "And wheeere do you think you're going?"

"To wake the boy, I suppose," she said flippantly. "I wouldn't want Bubby to be mad for making his brat cry, in fact."

Emilia left the table, food unfinished, and ran to catch up with Beatrice. "I'm coming, too," she unnecessarily announced.

"I won't allow it, I suppose," Beatrice said stubbornly. "Your outbursts would distract me from my task, in fact."

Raising her voice, Emilia exclaimed, "Well, perhaps I wouldn't be having 'outbursts' if you didn't put my friend in a magic-induced coma _without telling anyone_!"

Puck popped out from within Emilia's hair. "Hey, let's all calm down, okay? There's no need for my two favorite girls to fight."

 _"Bubby!"_ shrieked Beatrice, jumping as high as she could (which wasn't very high) in an attempt to grab Puck. Normally, Emilia wouldn't have minded, she really wouldn't, but today was _not_ a good day.

Emilia grabbed Puck by the nape of his neck, pulling him out of reach of Beatrice's tiny fists. "Nuh-uh," she scolded. "No Bubby until after you wake Subaru."

Beatrice stomped her feet as she glared at Emilia. "That's not fair, I suppose!"

"What am I, a toy?" grumbled Puck, who was promptly ignored.

"The conditions are final," Emilia said sternly. "Wake Subaru now or no Bubby."

Beatrice stomped her feet. "Grr... Fine, I suppose!" She flicked a finger impatiently. "It's done, in fact."

Emilia blinked. "Done?" she asked incredulously. "We haven't even made it to Subaru's room."

Beatrice huffed. "Do you really think I _needed_ to leave the dining hall, I wonder?" she asked rhetorically. "I simply didn't want to be near the pervert any longer than is absolutely necessary, I suppose." Her face shifted into a huge smile. "Now, it's Bubby time! Come here, Bubby!" With that, Beatrice and Puck wandered off to who-knows-where, leaving a stunned Emilia behind.

A couple of minutes later, Emilia entered Subaru's room. His breathing was deeper and his cheeks had more color, but he was still asleep. Emilia couldn't help the rush of disappointment that flowed through her. She knew Beatrice wasn't lying, but she was under the impression that he would have woken up instantly.

She sighed as she sat down in her usual chair. She didn't think of herself as the girl that would sit at her hero's bedside, but here she was.

She also didn't think she'd enjoy stroking his hair while he slept, but that was neither here nor there.

"It's almost time for you to wake up," she whispered. "I'm sorry it took so long. Perhaps if I'd paid better attention, I would have recognized the stasis spell and removed it."

She twirled a lock of dark hair around her finger, marveling at the softness. "I've been thinking a lot about what Reinhard said: how you have a dark power but maintain your good nature. I don't know of anyone else who could do what you do. I know I couldn't. I'd break after a couple of days, but that's just who I am. I'm weak.

"But you… you're strong, aren't you? You took on one of the world's most dangerous criminals while I was too injured to fight. You saved my life, Subaru. You're incredible."

Emilia's gaze drifted down to his lips. She blushed as she remembered what Roswaal suggested before letting out of soft laugh. "Look at me – falling for a boy I just met. Puck would be sooo disappointed in me. I bet he'd say, 'Lia, you need to be more careful around boys. They're all perverts,' and I'd ask him if he's talking about Roswaal." She smiled fondly. "Puck seems to really like you, though. I've never seen him take so fast to a stranger.

"Just… wake up soon, okay? I want to get to know my new friend better, and it's hard to do that when he's sleeping." She was about to stand up when Subaru shifted ever so slightly.

"E…" He was so quiet, she could barely hear him.

"Subaru?" Hope lined her voice as she leaned in closer.

"M… T…" Emilia waited with bated breath, but Subaru was still. She sighed, though not unhappily. She learned something new about her friend today: he was a sleep-talker.

"I suppose I could stay a little longer." After all, who knew what embarrassing things he might say?

A short time later, Emilia woke (just when had she fallen asleep?) to a strange sensation on her scalp. It wasn't unpleasant; it felt kind of like when Puck slept in her hair, but less… fuzzy.

She drowsily leaned into the sensation, letting out a quiet 'hmm' as she did so.

"You know, I wouldn't mind doing this more often," said a voice she had dearly missed.

Emilia's eyes shot open as she rapidly sat up. "S-Subaru?"

Subaru was sitting up in bed, smiling and _awake_.

"Subaru!" She threw her arms around him and grinned. "I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried about you."

"Emilia was worried and is now hugging me? I must be the luckiest man alive."

She pulled back with the strangest feeling in her belly. "A week unconscious and the first thing you do is tease me. Why am I not surprised?"

Subaru jolted. "Wait, a week? I wasn't hurt _that_ bad, was I?"

"You had life-threatening injuries and your Od was leaking out. If not for Reinhard, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Reinhard, huh?" He grinned. "I gotta thank him for patching me up next time I see him."

"'Patching you up' is putting it lightly. To heal your Od, he had to use extremely complex soul magic to see your most important memories: the moments that make you who you are."

His eyes widened. "He saw all that… and he's still alive?" He let out an exhilarated laugh as he breathlessly said, "If he saw _that_ , then that means my curse is broken! I don't have to be alone anymore! Emilia, I can Return by D–"

Suddenly, he lurched forward, clutching his chest. She gently set him back down, a concerned expression on her face. "You shouldn't be exerting yourself," she scolded gently. "You can tell me some other time."

"Y-yeah," he muttered weakly. He turned away from her and pulled his knees into his chest. "Hey, Emilia? Can I have a moment to myself?"

She nodded, trying not to feel hurt. "I understand. You've been through a lot. I'll have one of the maids grab you for dinner in a few hours." He tensed but said nothing. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you." With those parting words, she shut the door and went to inform Roswaal of Subaru's awakening.

Subaru found her a few hours later, apologizing for his outburst. She waved it off. "I'm just happy you're okay," she said with a soft smile. "Thanks again for saving me, Subaru."

The next four days were like a dream. Subaru got a job at the mansion, meaning he wouldn't be leaving her. She knew it was selfish to keep him here, but she couldn't help it. He was so fun to be around.

She didn't understand it, but he made her feel warm. She wanted to stay by his side. It felt _right_ to be beside him.

She pored over her notes and tried to study, but it was hard to focus. Why was it so hard to focus? Why couldn't she stop thinking about him?

 _'Focus, Emilia!'_ she thought reproachfully. _'The seventeenth Queen of Lugunica loved radio calisthenics – Wait, that wasn't... Drat.'_

Laying on her desk, Puck stretched and said, "Looks like Subaru's adjusting well."

Grateful for the distraction, she looked up from her notes and smiled at him. "Reeaally well. It's nice to have him here. Beatrice has been complaining about his late nights researching in the library but doesn't seem to mind the company too much."

A knock on the door interrupted them and Rem popped her head in the door. "Miss Emilia, dinner will be ready soon."

Emilia smiled at the maid. "Thanks, Rem. How's Subaru doing?"

"He is not feeling well," the maid said flatly. "As such, he will not be joining us for dinner tonight."

Her smile fell. "I'll go check on him. Perhaps his Od –"

"There is no need." Rem's face was carefully blank. "I will check on him myself. Perhaps you will see him tomorrow." With that, she turned and left, leaving Emilia to mouth 'perhaps' in her wake.

Puck floated in front of her. "Aw, cheer up, Lia," he said brightly. "I'm sure he'll be fine for your upcoming date."

"Th-that's not what I'm worried about," she insisted, a blush on her cheeks. "He's my friend and I'm worried about him. That's all."

Friend. They were friends. He wanted to be her friend.

"Good." Puck crossed his arms with a victorious smile. "No boy is about to take my daughter away!"

She laughed, reveling in her giddiness. "You're so silly, Puck. I'm not going anywhere." They headed out to the dining hall, chatting along the way. Entering and finding Roswaal already seated, they –

* * *

"I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried about you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Subaru choking Elsa with his mind"? Did I make him a fucking Sith Lord?  
> "Have you ever heard the tale of Darth Pleiades the Sage? I thought not. It's not a story the Witch's Cult would tell you." ~ Echidna, 20XX


	5. Retribution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fourth law of thermodynamics states that Subaru = Suffering.  
> Special thanks to my fiance for editing this fic and for sticking around with her nerd. I couldn't do this without you.

Emilia leaned back and frowned, worried. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Subaru rubbed the back of his head. "I-I'm fine," he mumbled. "Just happy that I'm alive."

"Mhm. Me too." She kept her arms around his shoulders as if afraid of letting go. "You reeaally scared me back in the loot house."

"That's not, I mean," Subaru stuttered before shaking his head to clear it. "What about you? I'm not the only one who got hurt."

"But Puck healed me and ran out of energy before he could heal you." A shadow covered her eyes as she regretfully told him, "I'm sorry. I was powerless to help you."

Subaru poked Emilia's shoulder. "Hey, none of that," he said lightly. "I was fine. Besides, you saved my life, too."

"I don't understand," she said in confusion. "When did I ever help you?" He didn't answer, electing instead to smile. With a huff, she told him, "Fine. If you reeaally don't want to tell me, then I'll get the answer out of you another time."

"I look forward to it, Emilia-tan," said Subaru with a cheeky grin.

"Tan?" echoed Emilia with a tilt of her head.

"It's an honorific from my homeland," he explained. "It's a sign of affection."

"But you don't use honorifics for anyone else," she pointed out.

"That's because they're not as great as Emilia-tan," he said like it was obvious.

She giggled. "You're such a dunderhead, Subaru."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, no one says that anymore."

Hours later, Subaru stood up, planted his hands on the dining room table, and said, "Lord Roswaal, as compensation for helping Emilia, I demand that you hire me to work at this mansion!"

The room was silent.

Subaru stayed in his pose, refusing to back down. Okay, yeah, he _could_ have asked a little nicer, but then it wouldn't be as flashy or cool.

The room's occupants were frozen solid.

It wasn't _that_ weird of a request, right? He'd done it before. Like, three or four times before. They usually responded after a few seconds.

Ram sneezed, and the world started again.

"Is that your cue or something?" he asked incredulously.

"Why yes, of cooourse," Roswaal said with open arms. "Is that not how it wooorks where you are from?"

"I don't think that's how it works anywhere," Subaru grumbled before his voice returned to a normal volume. "Listen, do I have the job or not?"

With a purely theatrical sigh, Roswaal conceded, "I suppooose I can allow it. Rem, my dear, will you show our newest employee his responsibilities?"

"Yes, Lord Roswaal," said Rem with a bow.

"Crap– I mean, lead the way!" cried Subaru with a bit too much enthusiasm. Rem gave him a sideways look but did as he asked.

The silence was palpable between Subaru and Rem as they walked the halls. Subaru idly wondered if he could slice apart the tension like he did his fingers when peeling potatoes.

"So… uh, Rem, right?" said Subaru in a lame attempt to strike up a conversation. "I think Roswaal wanted you to show me the ropes."

"He did," Rem said flatly as she stopped and pointed. "This is your primary purpose here."

Subaru gave a disparaging glance at the direction Rem pointed. "Rem, that's a trash bin."

"Is there a problem?" she asked, knowing full well what the problem is.

"Yes!" Subaru exclaimed. "You basically called me trash! I expected that from Ram, not you."

Rem stepped forward, lowly asking, "How do you know how my sister would act?"

 _'Oh, shit,'_ he thought, realizing how precarious his position was.

"As I recall, you only woke up a couple of hours ago," she said with forced calm. "You have not received more than her name, and that was courtesy of Lord Roswaal's introduction. Your impression of her would be the silent type."

"I-I was just…" he trailed off.

"You have no need to hide it." Her face twisted as she dropped all pretenses of kindness. "You were watching this mansion and tricked Miss Emilia into giving you access so that you can finish the job you started, _Witch Cultist_."

"How – how'd you even get to that conclusion?!" he asked incredulously. "That's ridiculous!"

"It's because you _reek_ of the Witch." Rem's eyes glowed red as hatred etched itself on her face. Being so used to the shy, loving girl, Subaru had completely forgotten how _scary_ Rem could be.

"Look, that's not my fault," he defended, perhaps a bit too quickly, "and it has nothing to do with the Witch's Cult."

Rem's eyes gleamed with accusation. "Then why do you look so guilty?"

Subaru visibly deflated. "I… It's not…" A lump formed in his throat, but he forced the words out. "It's because every time I look at you, I'm reminded of how I failed to save one of the people most important to me."

Rem was unmoved. If anything, she looked angrier. "You are a liar, Subaru Natsuki, and a danger to our livelihood," she said coldy. "I won't let you hurt me or my sister."

His eyes widened. "N-no! I'm not lying! I lo–"

* * *

"I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried about you."

* * *

Hours later, Subaru stood up, planted his hands on the dining room table, and said, "Lord Roswaal, as compensation for helping Emilia, I demand that you hire me to work at this mansion!"

Ram yawned.

"Well, that was quick," he muttered. "So, do I have the job?"

"I don't see why nooot," sang Roswaal. "That was prooobably the quickest interview I've ever haaad, but I don't mind. Welcome to my staff, Subaaaru."

"Thanks, Ros." Subaru flashed a cheeky grin before he turned serious. "Listen, there's something I need to nip in the bud before it becomes an issue."

"Oooh?"

Subaru hesitated. He'd probably be killed on the spot, but it was worth a shot. "I know that I smell like the Witch."

He anticipated Rem's angry stare. He predicted Roswaal's narrowed eyes. Emilia's nod and gentle smile? Well, he certainly didn't expect that.

"Reinhard and I talked about it," Emilia revealed. She looked around the table, meeting everyone's eyes in turn. "We don't know how, but Subaru has an Authority and used it to save me from Elsa. When Reinhard was healing his Od, he saw how brave and kind Subaru was despite the miasma surrounding him. He may smell bad..."

"Hey!"

"...but I trust him." She looked at Subaru with a gentle smile, her devotion obvious.

At that moment, he fell in love with Emilia all over again.

"What an unexpeeected development!" exclaimed Roswaal. "When you showed up, I never expected you to be so iiinteresting."

"S-so, you're not going to kill me?" Subaru winced at how meek his voice sounded.

Roswaal looked offended. "What a ridiiiculous notion. While you are in this mansion, I shall let no harm befall you."

 _'Well, that's a fucking lie,'_ Subaru grumbled internally.

Oblivious to Subaru's thoughts, Roswaal snapped his fingers. "Rem, be a deeear and get Subaru his new outfit," he commanded.

She bowed. "Yes, Lord Roswaal." She walked towards Subaru and, without turning her head, whispered in a deadly voice, "I'll be watching you."

Subaru heard chains, but whether it was real or in his head, he would never know.

* * *

Happiness. Hope. Mirth. Love. The lesser spirits did not speak, but Emilia felt their emotions all the same. They danced around her, just as they did every day.

She loved them.

"Awe-inspiring as always, EMT!" cheered Subaru.

"It's nothing special, but I appreciate the sentiment." Emilia ended her communion with the lesser spirits and watched in surprise as a few of them dashed over to Subaru. He laughed as they swirled around him.

"What's that?" he asked the spirits. "You also think Emilia-tan looks absolutely radiant? I see you have good taste."

"There you go again with those jokes of yours." She admired the flickering lights, their quiet thrums of power echoing through her as she sat beside Subaru. "The spirits seem to like you," she noted.

"Yeah, well, I got a bit of an affinity with them," he said dismissively. "Nothing special."

She huffed at his modesty. "Nothing special?" she asked incredulously. "The spirits went to you on their own accord. Most experienced spirit arts users need to call them. Puck says I'm one of the few exceptions."

Subaru said nothing in return, choosing instead to admire his temporary companions. She eyed him curiously, saying, "You're an odd one, Subaru. You venerate others but ignore your own merits."

With a chuckle, he said, "No one says 'venerate' in this day and age." He leaned back, watching as Puck flew out to play with the lesser spirits. "Anyway, I don't talk about my 'merits' because there's not really much to say about me. I have a few tricks up my sleeve, but I'm powerless. I can't even do magic anymore."

"Really?" she asked, impressed. "You were a magic user?"

"Barely. I used to be able to cast a mediocre Shamac, but my gate collapsed."

She hummed, saying, "You must have strained it reeaally bad. Gates don't collapse out of nowhere."

"Yeah. I only got to use it a few times, too," he grumbled, his voice tinged with regret. "Aside from learning the spell – that lesson failed spectacularly, by the way – I got to use Shamac against a mabeast."

She gaped. "I-I'm sorry, you fought a mabeast?"

"'Fought' is being generous. I got my ass kicked," he said ruefully. "Point is that I damaged my gate. A couple of weeks later, I used it again."

"Well, that was very stupid of you," she scolded. "Didn't anyone tell you not to use magic while your gate was healing?"

"They did, but as you said, I was stupid. I fought a guy who was _way_ stronger than me to impress a girl," he admitted.

She winced. "I can't imagine that worked out well for you."

He laughed as self-loathing filled the air. "Got my ass kicked and the girl was pissed. Totally deserved the tongue-lashing I received. I didn't see it that way at the time, of course. I was a self-righteous bastard." He looked off into the distance, drowning in regret. "I put her on a pedestal, and I expected her to understand what I was going through without saying anything. I'd call the resulting fight a break-up, but we weren't together in the first place; it's not like someone like her would have ever fallen for me."

She put a hand on his arm and gazed at him in pity. "Subaru, don't –"

"Say that about myself?" he finished for her. "Don't worry about it. I was pathetic back then. I mean, I still am, but I like to think I grew out of those specific issues."

"You have, Subaru. And you're not pathetic at all," she said emphatically. She clenched the hem of her nightgown, her face flushed. "I-I mean, um…" Why was it suddenly so hard for her to speak? "Maybe this is weird to say, especially since we haven't known each other for very long, but… you don't do any of that stuff. You're selfless, honest, and genuinely kind. You don't judge me for being a half-elf, but you don't see me as perfect, either. I feel like you see all of me: the good and the bad. And, um, I don't mind you seeing any of that."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, unable to look at him properly for some strange reason. "Was that weird?" she asked nervously. "That's reeaally weird, I'm sorry."

"I-it's not weird at all!" he said quickly. She had never seen someone so red before. Did she look like that? "It actually makes me happy, Emilia-tan."

"G-good. That's good," she muttered. She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart, overwhelmed by the strange warmth flowing through her. "A-anyway, I see why that whole thing would be embarrassing."

"Utterly humiliating," he agreed.

"Losing your gate on top of that must have made it even worse," she noted.

"Actually, that's not when I lost my gate," he informed her.

"You didn't?" she asked. "When did you –"

"Well," he began, smiling fondly at the memories, "I had a fist-fight with this big tiger man who didn't want me to leave his forest."

"Wait, what –"

* * *

The forest bordering Arlam village held fond memories for Subaru: playing with the village children, bantering with Rem and Ram, and his wonderful date with Emilia.

And, of course, almost being devoured by mabeasts. Can't forget about that one.

He checked the crystals of every tree, muttering to himself. "This one's fine… that one, too… damn it! This doesn't make any sense! There should be a broken crystal; why hasn't Meili taken action?" He knew he should be glad that the mabeasts weren't a threat yet, but it still unnerved him. "My memory's probably just bad. It's been almost two years, and that's not even counting the shenanigans with those books. The crystal probably won't be broken until the kids are abducted." He adopted a thoughtful look. "Actually, that sounds about right… damn it! I just wasted an hour of sleep."

Subaru trudged back up to the mansion, grumbling but satisfied with his conclusion. Looks like he had a few more days to prepare before shit hit the fan.

Overall, things were going well. He'd made Emilia blush multiple times (a skill he picked up after a year of being her knight), dodged Roswaal's suspicion, and avoided the ire of the maid sisters. This was easily his best loop yet.

"What are you doing out here?"

_'Fuck.'_

Rem was standing on the other side of a clearing, her morning star glinting in the moonlight. Her icy-blue eyes stared down her target.

He backed up in fear. "L-look Rem, I was just going for a walk."

"There are plenty of beautiful gardens at the mansion," she pointed out. "Why go near the village?" He had no response, so she narrowed her eyes, coldly saying, "Let's skip the pleasantries. I know what you are. You may have fooled the others, but I see through you. I won't let you hurt anyone, _Witch Cultist_."

Subaru clenched his fist. "Why can't you trust me?" he yelled. "I've done nothing but be kind!"

Her weapon appeared in her hands. "Your actions are meaningless if your intentions are malevolent."

"Intentions?" he echoed incredulously. "I want to be your friend! I want to be your hero, just like –"

_'Just like I used to be.'_

He remembered her arms around him as he cried. Her smile as she lifted him up. Her loving gaze as she gave him the will to fight.

 _'Why can't we go back to that?'_ he thought mournfully.

Rem shook with anger. "A pathetic being like you could _never_ be a hero," she growled." All you're good for is dying."

She threw her weapon at inhuman speeds, and Subaru tensed. All he needed to do was use Invisible Providence to block the weapon, then retaliate with his fists.

But he wouldn't, just like every other loop. This was his retribution. Rem had every right to kill Subaru. So, he accepted his punishment with tears in his eyes.

The moment he finished his thought, Rem's morning star tore off his left arm and he fell to his knees with an anguished cry.

She stalked over towards his downed form, shoulders shaking with rage. "Fight back!" she screamed. "Why won't you fight back!"

"B-because I care about you," he choked out. "Because I miss you."

She kicked him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. "Stop speaking nonsense!" she snarled. _"Fight back, you coward!"_

"I-it was you… you told me to stand up and f-fight." With a hefty swing of her flail, she tore off his left leg. "Y-you taught me… to believe in myself." His right leg. "You held my hand and called me your hero." His right arm. On the verge of unconsciousness, he whispered, "We made a promise to each other."

She stepped hard on his ribs, shattering them; the bones punctured his lungs and blood filled his throat. "Even in your last moments, you're spouting lies," she spat. "How pathetic." She raised her weapon. "Rot in Hell, Cultist."

With his last remaining breath, Subaru choked out, "I loved you, Rem."

* * *

"I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried about you."

Hot tears soaked Emilia's shoulder, and she held Subaru tighter. "You've been through so much," she soothed. "I'm right here. You're safe now."

"S-she… I…" She could barely hear him, as his head was shoved in the crook of her neck, though she didn't mind.

"I understand," she said softly. "She hurt you really bad, didn't she?"

He nodded into her shoulder. "I-it hurt," he whimpered, "and I tried to g-get her to stop, but I deserved it! She h-had every right to kill me!"

"That's not true," she reprimanded. "Why would you say something like that?"

"B-because it's my fault!" he cried. "No one remembers her _and it's all my fault_! I-I tried to get her name back, but I failed, and then they took your name, too, and I'm such a _failure!"_

She frowned before she remembered: Reinhard said that Subaru would be mentally unstable for a bit. "None of it is your fault," she reassured him as she stroked his hair. "Listen to me, okay? You're in Roswaal's mansion, and you're safe here. Let me take care of you. It's the least I can do after everything you've done for me."

"Th-that's not – how can you say that? I abandoned you!" He pulled back, staring into her eyes with guilt. "I left you in the Tower, and there was that thrice-damned _book_ , and you weren't there… I left you alone. I-I just wanted to help you, but I… I let you die… so, so many times. Don't you see? All I do is hurt you! The Royal Selection, the Sanctuary, the Tower… how can you sit there so calmly _when I've been so horrible to you_?"

She didn't understand, but that didn't matter. Her hero was in pain. She brushed a stray lock of hair away from his face and smiled, her amethyst eyes shining with affection. "Because I care about you," she whispered.

She held him as he cried himself to sleep.

That afternoon, he woke up, still in her arms. He gave her a shaky smile and a whisper of gratitude, and that was more than enough to make her day.

Things went better this time around. Sure, he made a fool of himself in front of Emilia, but that was expected when your name was Subaru Natsuki. The conversation in the dining hall went the same, but this time, he decided to take his chances and explain a few things to Rem. She lead Subaru to one of the gardens, intent on showing him around, but Subaru was having none of that.

"Hey, Rem?" he softly called out. "The reason I have an Authority is because of an attack by the Witch's Cult." She turned and stared at him, her interest peaked. "They hurt a lot of people that were very important to me." A snowy hellscape filled his mind's eye. "In the end, I… defeated a Sin Archbishop, and I obtained his power. That's why I smell like the Witch. I promise you: it's _not_ because I'm a Cultist."

She was quiet for a moment, mulling over what he said. "Why are you telling me this?"

He rubbed his neck. "You weren't exactly moved when Emilia said you could trust me, and I don't want us to be enemies." He took a deep breath. "I want to be your friend, Rem."

How many times had he sat by her bedside, begging her to wake up? He had wanted nothing more than to hear her sweet voice one more time, and because of his carelessness, he would never hear it again.

He missed _his_ Rem, and a part of him would always love her.

He held out his hand and she eyed it warily. Seemingly coming to a decision, she shook it with dainty fingers. "I think I would like that." She gave a slight smile, and his heart skipped a beat. "It would be nice… to be your friend, Subaru."

Three times. He died three times to Rem's fury. He could have explained this to her at any point, so why didn't he?

It wasn't because he didn't think of it. Deep down, he knew what to do from the start.

However, in that sick, twisted way of his... he _wanted_ to die. _His_ Rem no longer existed, and this was his retribution for her fate.

It was _his_ fault, and he wanted someone to recognize that. He thought that her accusations and her hatred would grant him a sense of fulfillment, but it didn't. He was still empty. He still missed her.

Perhaps it was time... to let her memory go.

Days later, Subaru collapsed onto his bed, exhausted. It was well past midnight; not only did he have a full day of housekeeping, but he had spent hours researching in the Forbidden Library.

"No progress on that front," he muttered. It was disappointing, but he still had time. "Heh, kinda surprised Beako hasn't kicked me out yet." He grinned at the thought of Beatrice. The drill-haired loli grandma was way too fun to mess with.

He folded his arms behind his head and looked at the ceiling, feeling proud of himself. "You know what, Subaru Natsuki? I think you made it past this loop."

It took way more tries than last time, but he did it. Apparently, the key to surviving in the mansion was sobbing uncontrollably in Emilia's arms. Who knew?

It seemed there wouldn't even be a mabeast attack. Meili was nowhere to be found. Should that concern him? Probably, if he was being honest. She was on his "protect list." Still, she was a resourceful girl. She'd be okay, and he was sure they'd meet someday.

He closed his eyes with a smile. Finally, he could sleep…

"My, oh, my," came a voice that chilled him to the core. "We can't have you asleep when I kill you. That's no fun."

He shot out of bed. "Elsa!" he cried. "Why are you here? Didn't you have enough last time I kicked your ass?"

She giggled. "Aw, that's cute. You think surprising me is the same as overpowering me." She brandished her knives, not even bothering to adopt a ready position. "I hope you took good care of your bowels for me.

"Wh-why are you here, anyway?" he asked, raising his voice subtly in the hopes of waking someone up. "Who hired you?"

"I normally don't make it a habit of revealing my clients, but I'll tell you just this once."

 _'Roswaal,'_ he thought angrily. _'It's totally Roswaal, that bastard.'_

Elsa gave a coy smile as she eyed his gut, licking her lips in excitement. With a shivering voice, she told him, "This was a direct order from Mama."

He blinked, too perturbed to feel unnerved by her gaze. "Capella?" he asked incredulously. "Why am I even on her radar?"

For the first time in his many lives, he saw her scowl. " _Do not speak her name!_ " she seethed, abruptly lunging forward.

He tensed and concentrated. Invisible Providence activated and an Unseen Hand reached for her throat, only for her to jump over it and slash him with her knife.

He fell to the ground, clutching his stomach and screaming in pain. "D-damn it!" Blood pooled around his fingers as he felt his body shutting down. "This run… I'm not… letting it go to waste!"

She kneeled before him and whispered into his ear. "You silly boy," she cooed. "You really think you can try the same trick twice? Once I saw that look in your eye, I knew to jump." She sighed and pouted. "And here I was hoping for a challenge. Mama was right: you're not worthy of an Authority."

_'I won't die I won't die I won't die I won't… die…'_

The Bowel Hunter vanished into the night as her latest victim drew his final breath.

* * *

The Witch's Hand gripped his heart in a loving caress, dragging him into the shadows. Despite that, Subaru was not afraid. Every time his heart was taken, he remembered.

He remembered his soul healing after every death.

He remembered the great citadel of shadows.

Above all, he remembered who awaited him.

"It's good to see you again..." said Subaru, smiling as she came into view. "...Satella."


	6. That Person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for editing this fic and for dealing with my constant "Who's Rem" memes. Happy anniversary: It's been a wonderful four years.

The Witch's Hand lowered him to the floor – if one could call darkness a 'floor'– and he collapsed, unable to stand.

"S-sorry," he croaked, as Satella glided over to him. She fell to her knees and put his head in her lap. "I'd love to give you a hug, but I'm not feeling so great."

 _"Rest, my love,"_ she whispered. _"You have been so brave."_

He chuckled weakly. "I don't know, Ella." She smiled at the nickname from an age long past. "I was pretty terrified."

She delicately cradled his head in her arms. _"Yet you still faced your challenges with your head held high. That's why you're brave."_

"You always had too much faith in me," he muttered. They sat in companionable silence as the miasma caressed his soul, gently healing the damage. He leaned into her touch as he mused, "I think this is a new record for deaths in the mansion."

 _"Don't joke about that,"_ she scolded. _"Your life is important. Your life has value. Treat it with care."_

He rolled his eyes dismissively. "I know, I know. I promised that I wouldn't treat my life as a commodity anymore, didn't I?"

She frowned at his flippant behavior. _"You did,_ " she said forcefully. _"Now, 'tis time to act on your promise. You know how to overcome this challange, so do it."_

He winced at the uncomfortable truth. "She has every right to kill me," he said weakly.

They both knew he wasn't talking about his scent.

 _"'Twas not your fault,"_ she insisted as she gazed sorrowfully at him. He was always making her sad, wasn't he? _"You need to forgive yourself."_

He laughed mirthlessly; they've had this argument enough times to know it would end in a standstill. Changing the subject, he asked, "What do I do about Elsa? Even if I do everything right in the mansion, she'll just come to kill me, and Invisible Providence won't work against her anymore."

She stroked his hair but said nothing.

He scowled. "Is this one of those, 'you can figure it out yourself' situations? It's not like I can burn down the mansion again," he pointed out. "To beat her, I'd need help from someone like… oh." His face flushed slightly. "That… wasn't actually that hard to figure out."

She gave him a fond smile. _"You are smarter than you believe, my love."_

"Maybe my old self was," he grumbled, "but I don't know about now."

 _"You_ are _him. You are strong. You are smart."_ She leaned in and whispered in his ear. _"I believe in you. I love you."_

"That's not fair, Ella." His eyes began to water as he murmured, "You're gonna make me fall in love with you all over again."

Somehow, he didn't think she'd mind that.

For a time, they just enjoyed each other's company. They could almost pretend that things were like they used to be.

...But they weren't.

Her hands and voice shook with instability. The shadows caressed her skin, tempting her to fall into her Sin. She was no longer Satella, but a vessel for the Witch of Envy.

Her once warm body, bursting at the seams with life, was now frozen with the cold taste of death.

So, he did what he did best and ran from one problem to face another. "This loop has been tough," he admitted. "I figured the mansion would be pretty easy. I guess I forgot how much Rem hated me the first time around." He laughed bitterly. "If I didn't Return by Death to Emilia's arms every time, I would probably have gone crazy."

Realizing what he said, he winced. "Damn it, I'm sorry Ella."

But Satella was content. _"'Tis_ _okay,"_ she said softly. _"Emilia is good_ _for you."_

"How can you say that so calmly?" he asked incredulously. "We made a promise: 'Til death do us part.'"

_"We did. Then… you died."_

His breath hitched.

With devotion in her eyes, she told him, " _I have known your love. We lived our lives together."_

"Those lives were too damn short," he grumbled bitterly and was promptly ignored.

_"You have a new life. A new you. A new love. Be with her."_

"Damn it, Satella!" he yelled, but she was unfazed. "You're too damn selfless. You give, and you give, and you give until you're a shell of yourself. Why can't you fucking _take_ for once?"

She placed a cold hand on his cheek. _"Because I want to see you happy,"_ she said softly. _"I want to see you smile. You should love yourself, and love others. You are alive. Make the most of it. Be honest with what you want and follow your heart. Achieve your goals. Be the hero… you are meant to be."_

He covered her hand with his. "Why?" he croaked. "Why are you being so nice to me when all of this is my fault?" He sat up; his strength fully returned. "Why aren't you screaming at me, condemning me for my crimes? _I did this to you!_ It's my fault, so why don't you hate me?!"

Her frozen lips pressed themselves to his forehead as she held him close, whispering, _"Because I love you."_

He gripped her tight, drowning in her love as he reaffirmed his promise to her.

With that, left the Citadel of Shadows as the memory of their encounter was wiped from his mind.

* * *

"I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried about you."

"Emilia…" Subaru whispered into her shoulder. "You got hurt."

He felt her nod. "I was, but Puck helped me before he ran out of mana." She held him tight as gratitude flowed through her. "If it weren't for you, I'd be dead. You saved me, Subaru."

He pulled back and looked into her eyes, feeling oddly at peace. He took her hand and placed it on his side, shivering as her warm, soft fingers felt his still-healing wound. He reached over to her side, where he knew her scar would be.

She looked at him curiously. "What are you…"

"We match," he stated. He hated the scars, he truly did, but right now, nothing could bring him down.

She looked at where he placed her hand. "I suppose we do," she acknowledged softly, "but what does that mean?"

"It means I didn't save you." She began to protest but he cut her off, saying, "We saved each other."

She tilted her head, confused. "But _you_ took down Elsa," she pointed out. Guilt filled her gaze. "You saved me from her blade, twice."

"That's true," he admitted, "but do you really think I could have taken her down without your magic? All I did was surprise her."

"Yes, but –"

"We fought together, as a team. Don't sell yourself short. You are incredible, Emilia," he said earnestly, brushing his thumb over her scar. "You are strong and brave. I want you to realize that."

"I can try," she said at length, "but only if you believe in yourself, too."

"I'm sure I can do that with you by my side." He cupped her cheek, smiling as he felt her warm skin under his palm. "From now on, you won't have to fight alone. I want to stand beside you. I want to help you reach your goals, and I want your help in reaching mine. Let me be your ally, your teammate, your partner. I'm not the strongest, but I have the habit of coming out on top, in the end."

He grinned at her, filled with confidence. "Let me be your strength, Emilia."

She let out a choked laugh. "You're such a dummy, Subaru," she whispered affectionately, leaning into his touch. "You would do all that for someone you just met?"

His eyes glinted mischievously. "When I look at you, Emilia-tan, I feel like I've known you for years."

"'Tan?'" she asked, distracted by the unfamiliar word.

"It's a nickname. Means I like you."

She blushed furiously. "O-oh," she mumbled before her face shifted into a beaming smile. "I'd love to stand by your side, Subaru. I bet that we'll make a great team!"

Upon hearing that, Subaru dropped the serious act and did a victory dance around the room, Emilia laughing all the while.

Not long after, he found himself in the dining hall, being offered the same boon from Roswaal. "As compensation for heeelping Miss Emilia, I will offer you anything you desiiire."

The dining hall was silent, the occupants awaiting Subaru's answer. After about half a minute, Beatrice got fed up.

"Just spit it out, I suppose!" She crossed her arms. "Betty has things to do, in fact."

"Come on, Beako," he groaned. "I was going for a dramatic reveal."

"Dramatic reveals are interesting, I suppose," she deadpanned. "You could never hope to be anything but boring. Hmph!" A moment passed. "Wait a minute, what did you just call me, I wonder?!"

He stood up, ignoring her tirade. To Roswaal, he said, "All right Ros. I have _two_ debts to cash in: one for getting Emilia's insignia, and the other for fighting off some lowlifes in her stead."

Roswaal raised an eyebrow. "My, how iiinteresting! Very weeell then, let's hear your demands."

"All right!" Subaru shot out of his seat and pointed his index finger straight up. "First and foremost, I'm going to help Emilia become queen!'

Emilia cast him a sideways glance. "Um, Subaru?" she began slowly. "That's nice and all, but that's less of a demand and more of another favor."

His confident grin did not waver. "Heh, any chance to look selfless and heroic in front of Emilia-tan is a boon for me."

At Roswaal's side, Rem and Ram whispered not-so-subtly to each other.

"Sister, sister, our guest is shameless in his affection."

"Rem, Rem, Miss Emilia should drop him like a steamed potato."

"Quiet, you two," Subaru barked as Emilia giggled into her hand.

He grimaced as he let the mood become serious. "I'll be honest: this next favor is a big one. I can understand if you don't want to do it – it's not exactly an easy task – but I believe it's in the best interests of everyone here, no, the entire kingdom."

Roswaal raised an eyebrow. "Oooh? Do tell."

This wasn't merely a way to survive this loop: it was something he needed to do anyway. He couldn't achieve his goals without it.

Subaru slapped his palms on the table and declared, "I'm going to take down the Witch's Cult, and I want your help."

Dead silence.

Roswaal regarded him critically. "Subaru Natsuki." His sing-song demeanor was completely absent. "Are you trying to tell us that you plan to take down an organization that has eluded every military force in Lugunica for centuries? It is said their leaders have terrible powers; abilities that are said to rival those of the Witches of old. These people –"

"Look, Ros," Subaru cut off. "We could banter about this all day, but the fact remains that I want them gone. They took everything from me." He clenched his fists, mourning those lost. "They took the ones I love and spat on their corpses. They murdered everyone in my village, and I just about lost my head, too. Don't even know how I'm sane."

Roswaal narrowed his eyes. "Forgive my callous response to such a tale, but how are you standing here today?"

Subaru shrugged, a faraway look in his eyes. Quietly, he said, "Sometimes, I stay up at night and wonder the same thing. Why am I here, and not bleeding out in that freezing hellscape? Why am I not stuck in that damn Tower, wandering with no memories? Honestly, I'm the _least_ likely to have made it out, but here I am." He chuckled ruefully. "If it weren't for the kind words of a dear… friend, I would have run away long ago.

"But I'm here now," he said strongly. "I won't let them hurt any more people. I will continue my fight, and I can't do it alone." He bowed as low as he could. "Please, I ask you with all that I am, _help me defeat them!_ "

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rem looking at him thoughtfully, with perhaps a hint of admiration. Roswaal, on the other hand, had an unreadable expression. Subaru had no clue what he was thinking, and he didn't like it one bit.

He knew this was a risk. He _knew_ he was asking for too much.

But right here, right now, this was what he wanted with his whole heart.

He _needed_ to save her.

At his side, Emilia tentatively raised her hand. "We promised to help each other achieve our goals, so I'm in." She smiled, her resolve strengthening with every word. "What kind of friend would I be if I backed out now?"

"Wait, really? All right!" Subaru cheered, pumping his fist in the air. "With Emilia-tan on my side, victory is assured!"

She flushed, saying, "I wouldn't go that far, but it's hard not to be inspired when you give speeches like that."

Puck floated out of her hair. "Where Lia goes, I go. Let's see how those Cultists fare against a Great Spirit!"

Subaru grabbed Puck out of the air, spinning him around. "Hell yeah! The Fellowship of the Ring's got nothing on our kick-ass team!"

Beatrice sighed. "While I cannot leave the mansion, I will offer aid, I suppose. But only to make Bubby happy, in fact!"

Subaru let go of Puck and leaped over the table, tackling Beatrice in a crushing hug. "We got a drill loli?! We're unbeatable, I tell ya!"

" _Let me down, I suppose!"_

Roswaal laughed, his jester-like demeanor returning. "My, my, what a wooonderful display of unity! I most certainly did not foresee this." Subaru froze. Words like that tended to end his runs. "But with a display like thaaat, how could I nooot lend my aid?"

Subaru, who had just been blasted across the room by Beatrice, gaped at Roswaal. "Wait, seriously?"

"Of couuurse! Why wouldn't I?"

"N-no reason! No reason at all!"

Subaru looked to Rem and Ram, who were huddling up and whispering not-so-quietly.

"Sister, sister, it appears our guest has a death wish."

"Rem, Rem, he's dragging us down with him. How terribly inconsiderate."

"Come now, you two," chided Roswaal. "We would love to haaave you join our merry band."

"Yes, Lord Roswaal. I would be happy to assist Subaru in his endeavors."

"Yes, Lord Roswaal. I will do as you say as long as we can use Barusu as bait."

Subaru flinched. "Was that last part really necessary?!"

Emilia clapped her hands together as she said, "I know this is supposed to be a serious matter, but I can't help feeling excited. What's our first step?"

The room quieted. Subaru, who had been trying (and failing) to catch Beatrice in a hug, scratched his cheek. "I'll admit, I haven't thought that far ahead. I kinda thought I'd be assassinated on the spot."

Roswaal eyed him critically. "Now, why wooould that happen?"

"N-no reason! No reason at all, Ros! Heh, heh…"

Emilia crossed her arms with a huff. "Very well, then," she said disappointedly. "Lord Roswaal, what do you recommend?"

"Hmm." He steepled his fingers in front of his face. "I suppooose we need to decide on a name for our merry band."

"Shadow Guild," Subaru suggested.

"No," he shot down.

"Come on!" Subaru whined. "Battle Party?

Nervously, Emilia muttered, "Um, I'm not sure that's a good fit."

"All right, all right," he said, stroking his chin in thought. "How about the Fellowship of the Witch?"

Ram glared at him. "That would be extremely counterproductive, Barusu."

"…Subaru and Friends?"

Roswaal hid a chuckle behind his hand. "Absoluuutely not."

"Instead of a separate effort, why don't we just make this part of the Emilia Camp?" recommended Puck. "We want to put her on the throne, right? Taking down the Witch's Cult will definitely increase her popularity."

"I have no proooblem with that. All in agreement?"

The occupants of the room nodded, although Subaru grumbled about how his names were way cooler.

"Now that thaaat's settled, we just have one last thing before we maaake some plans." Roswaal snapped his fingers and Ram slid to his side. "Ram, dear, please outfit Subaru with regalia."

She bowed deeply. "Yes, Lord Roswaal. Come, Barusu. You will look ridiculous, but I will not disobey a direct order from Lord Roswaal."

Subaru was completely lost. "Wait, hold on a sec. Regalia?" he asked. "Like, a uniform? Why the hell am I getting that?"

Roswaal looked at Subaru strangely. "Of cooourse. You don't expect to be knighted in those strange clothes, do you?"

His jaw dropped. That wasn't supposed to happen for, like, three months. "A knight?" he stammered. "But why? I just got here!"

"Not only did you save Miss Emilia from a deadly assassin, but you're declaaaring war on the Witch's Cult. Did you reeeally think I'd make you something like a butler?"

_'I mean, yeah, kinda.'_

"You will act as Miss Emilia's peeersonal knight," Roswaal ordered. "Unleeess, of course, either of you have any objections?"

Emilia beamed. "I quite like this arrangement. In fact, I was going to recommend it myself." Turning to Subaru, she asked, "Are you okay with it?"

"Of course, I am!" he declared, desperate to save face. "I said I'd always stand by your side, and I never break my promises."

Puck flew in front of Subaru's face, baring his fangs. "Sounds like you're trying to get awfully close to my daughter," he said dangerously. "Is there something I should know, Subaru?"

Subaru, being the idiot that he was, grinned. "Yup. You should know that Emilia-tan is absolutely gorgeous!"

Looking back on it, that was a _really_ easy way to get knocked out by a Great Spirit.

That night, he lounged back in a chair, lazily calling out, "Hey, Beako?"

"What," she deadpanned.

"Know any spells to make a uniform less stuffy?"

Grouchily, she told him, "If I did, I wouldn't tell you, I suppose."

It was late at night, and Subaru was researching in the Forbidden Library. The Emilia Camp had tried to plan their first moves against the Witch's Cult, but they quickly hit a roadblock.

They had absolutely no idea where any of the Cultists were hidden.

Sure, they had a vague idea of where some of them _might_ be, but accessing them was an entirely separate issue.

After all that hullabaloo, they couldn't take any immediate action. Go figure. But hey, at least he was Emilia's knight earlier than expected. Even better, they were way closer than they were during his first time at the mansion. It wasn't as close as they once were, but it was more than he could have hoped for.

To absolutely no one's surprise, when faced with the option of thinking about his mission or cute girls, Subaru ended up choosing the latter.

"Hey, Beako?" Subaru called out. At her silence, he tried again. "Hello? Can you hear me?"

She scrunched her fingers around her book and scathingly retorted, "Yes, I can hear you, I suppose!"

"Great, thanks."

A pause. "Did you need anything from me, I wonder?"

"Nah, just felt like talking," he said dismissively.

"Betty has no interest in talking with you," she said flatly.

"Aw, c'mon Beako!" he teased. "A cute girl like you shouldn't be so cruel."

"Save your flirting for the brat, I suppose," she snapped.

"EMT is not a brat!" he whined. "And I'm not flirting with you. Tsundere lolis aren't my thing."

" _Those words don't even mean anything!"_ she shouted as she stomped her feet.

He laughed and leaned back in his chair. It was seriously comfy. It looked like wood and it felt like wood, but he was _far_ more relaxed than if he were sitting in a normal, wooden chair.

"Must be some of Echidna's magic," he muttered.

Beatrice sat ramrod straight but didn't turn around. "What did you just say?"

"Huh? I dunno, just mumbling to myself."

He blinked and found himself in front of Beatrice. He smirked. "You know, if you wanted to see me –"

"Quiet, I suppose," she growled. "I need you to answer my questions."

"I can't answer your questions if I'm quiet," he whined. "That's just unfair, Beako."

"Now is not the time for jokes, I suppose!" she yelled. "How do you know Mother?"

He blinked in confusion. Then, a shadow crossed over his face as he realized something.

Beatrice was still alone.

He smiled sadly. "Echidna was really cruel to you, wasn't she?"

"That's not true!" she cried. Her magic lifted him into the air, and he knew he was helpless before her. "Mother was always kind to Betty, in fact!"

"Then why are you still waiting for 'That Person?'" He felt an intense pressure on his chest but continued relentlessly. "I've met her, you know. She talked about you. She told me that 'That Person' doesn't exist."

She clenched her fists, but her voice became weaker. "You're lying, I suppose!" she half-heartedly shouted.

His eyes softened. "She messed with your emotions to see how you'd react. She wanted to see if you'd choose someone despite her knowing that no one was coming. She did it all in the pursuit of knowledge, even though she knew it would hurt you."

"S-stop it," she whimpered, her hold on him slipping.

"I understand what you're going through," he soothed. "Echidna hurt me, too, along with people I care about. Love her or hate her, you need to accept that it's in her nature to manipulate and hurt others for the sake of knowledge. She's said it herself: her greed is uncontrollable and insatiable."

She dropped him unceremoniously to the floor, glaring at him as he steadied himself. Shakily, she ground out, "I've waited for four hundred years, and you have the gall to tell me that it was all pointless, I suppose?"

He wrapped her in a tight hug, ignoring her pitiful attempts at resistance. "It wasn't pointless," he soothed. "I'm here now. I can't be 'That Person' in the sense you expected, but I can take care of the library, and," he paused, "I can take care of you, too."

Her breath hitched. "Take care of Betty," she murmured as if she had never thought that was an option.

"I want to form a contract with you, Beatrice. I want to take care of you and free you from this place. I want to be ' _Your_ Person.'" He gently squeezed her arms and pulled back, softly telling her, "I know this is a lot of information, so I'll give you some time to think about it." She nodded, not able to muster up the energy for a retort. "If you need me, you know where to find me. I'll see you later… Beatrice."


	7. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my fiancé for editing this. You're the true best girl.  
> Speaking of my fiancé, I have a goal. By the time this story is complete, I will have converted her from Team Rem to Team Emilia and/or Team Satella.  
> Update 12/16/20: She's Team Satella.

"Are you almost done?" Emilia asked impatiently. "I want to get back to studying."

Puck looked at her with a stern expression, saying, "Don't rush me, Lia. You have lovely hair, and it needs to look good."

"It's only hair," she grumbled.

He sighed. "Just let your father have this moment, all right?"

She smiled at the familiar banter. She didn't understand what was so important about her appearance, but there were worse things than receiving the undivided attention and gentle ministrations of a great spirit.

A few minutes later, her hair was in a perfect braid. "There! Now, for the top."

She sighed dramatically. "I almost regret putting this in our contract."

He scoffed. "Oh, please; the future ruler of Lugunica can't look like a slob. You'll thank me later."

She rolled her eyes but went along with it.

Soon after, there was a knock on the door. "Hey, Emilia-tan, you decent?"

A smile lit up her face and she called back, "I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means."

"It means 'do you have clothes on?'" Subaru said as he opened the door, causing Puck to glare at him.

"Lia didn't say she was decent, but you came in anyway?" he asked scathingly.

Subaru smirked. "To be fair, if she wasn't decent, she wouldn't respond so calmly."

"You don't know Lia," Puck pointed out. "She grew up in the forest. She has no shame."

A smile threatened to tear his face in two. "In other words, I'm the luckiest guy alive!"

Puck growled. "You're treading dangerous territory, Subaru…"

"That's enough, both of you," scolded Emilia. A chorus of "sorry, sorry" followed her, but she ignored them. "How did you even know where I was? I never showed you my room."

Subaru grinned and blushed, hugging himself tightly. "My dear EMT is constantly on my mind, so I _always_ know where to find you."

"Um, that's creepy. What's the real answer?"

"That's, uh…"

She raised an eyebrow, amused. "You're okay with admitting to stalking me, but not to saying something like 'Ram told me.'"

He cocked his head to the side. "Huh? I haven't even talked to Ram today. Or Rem, come to think of it."

"Then how?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"It's simple," answered Subaru with a smug smile. "Emilia-tan's soul presents itself to me as the light at the end of a tunnel. All I must do is follow it."

Puck rolled his eyes. "That's not a real thing." He jabbed an adorable paw in Subaru's direction. "You're a stalker, Subaru!"

Subaru waved Puck off with a mumbled "whatever" and flopped down on a nearby couch.

"Now, now, Subaru," chided Puck, "that's not knightly behavior, now is it?"

"To be fair, I'm not her knight yet," Subaru defended, "but I assure you, when I am, I'll be amazing."

"Oh, yeah? Prove it."

"Relax, Puck," said Emilia. "Subaru has already shown that he'll defend me with his life if need be. However..." She gave a sly smile and Subaru gulped. "...I wonder if my knight-to-be knows anything about chivalry. How would you present yourself at, say, the Royal Selection?"

Subaru visibly cringed and mumbled something about a "simp."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it," he said dismissively. "So, what do you want? An introduction as your knight, general conversation, or swearing my fealty to you before others?"

She furrowed her brow. "There's a difference in mannerisms?"

He gave a light "tsk" in mock disappointment. "Oh, Emilia-tan, you have a lot to learn about what it means to have a knight." He knelt before her, his head bowed.

Her eyes widened. "What are you –"

"To the sun, to the stars, to the world, to my pride, to my mother, and to my father, I swear to protect the silver half-elf, Emilia. My name is Subaru Natsuki, and I offer you my life, my loyalty, my sword, and my heart."

She blushed as her stomach felt strange. "W-well, uh…"

"I am your knight, my beloved Emilia. I will serve you until the day I die." He looked up with a cheeky grin. "How's that?"

She turned away, a strange warmth filling her. "Th-that was acceptable," she muttered, unable to look at him. "You'll, uh, be a good knight."

He saw her blush and his smile grew even wider. "Emilia-tan, you are officially the most adorable person I've ever met." Then, to Puck, he cheekily asked, "Say, can I marry your daughter?"

Emilia rolled her eyes at the terrible joke as Puck chased Subaru out of the room. Honestly, it's not like anyone would marry a half-elf like her.

* * *

"Sir Subaru, are you all right?" Rem asked in concern.

"Eh? What's up with this 'sir' stuff? It's just Subaru."

"My apologies, Si- I mean, Subaru. Are you all right?"

"I'm totally fine, why?"

Rem eyed the knight-to-be warily. While she certainly admired him and his dedication to eliminating the Witch's Cult, she couldn't help but see him as a bit… silly. To be fair, it was hard to take someone seriously when they constantly posed and flirted with their Lady. And, well…

"It's snowing, localized entirely around your head."

"What, this? Just a battle scar," he bragged with his fist to his chest.

"I see." She didn't. "Would you like me to remove it?"

"I mean, if you can, then that would be nice. Just don't tell Puck; he's a bit mad at me right now."

She closed her eyes. "I don't want to know." A flick of her fingers and the cloud dissipated.

"Thanks, Rem-Rem!" he exclaimed with a grin. "You're the best."

"That is not the case, but I appreciate the sentiment," she said politely before bowing her head. "If you'll excuse me."

Reaching out, he asked, "Wait, where are you going?"

"Sister and I must prepare lunch," she answered over her shoulder.

"I'll come help," he stubbornly insisted.

She frowned. "Sir Subaru, you are a knight, and I am a maid," she reminded him. "We both have our duties, and cooking is not one of yours."

"So? That doesn't prevent me from helping," he pointed out. "I can peel vegetables like a pro! And like I said, cut it out with that 'Sir' nonsense. It's just Subaru."

Rem was about to deny him again until she saw the look in his eyes. He honestly, _genuinely_ wanted to help. Even though he was many ranks above her, and she had no right to treat him as an equal, he stood there and demanded a place at her side.

It wasn't to lower himself to her level but to bring her up to his.

For the first time in almost a decade, Rem smiled at someone who wasn't her sister. "Of course, Subaru. We shall start right away."

He posed and made a joke, but she ignored it and led him to the kitchen. Maybe it would be nice to have a friend.

And… maybe she could trust him, despite his scent.

An hour and a half later, Subaru walked out of the kitchen, completely wiped. It's official: Ram's a sadist. Subaru wasn't even obligated to help them out, but she treated him like he was _less_ than a servant. Rem slightly reigned her sister in, but Subaru was still exhausted when he left.

"She's probably getting all her kicks in before I'm knighted," he grouched. "Next time, I'm only helping Rem."

It was clear who his favorite demon was.

As he approached the Knight's Quarters (he no longer called it 'his room,' as that wasn't knightly enough), he felt a gentle tug on his sleeve. He looked down to find a tiny girl, her hand clenching his sleeve and her face stubbornly pointing down.

"It appears your gate isn't working," Beatrice muttered reluctantly, "so your mana is building up. Betty will drain it for you, I suppose."

_'Don't say it don't say it don't say it–'_

"You're adorable." Fuck.

Beatrice wrenched her arm away from his, as she cried out, "Fine, I suppose! I just didn't want Bubby to be sad when you explode in a few days, in fact!"

"No, please, I'm sorry! Don't let me explode!" he begged. Her arms were crossed, and she refused to look at him, but she wasn't walking away or blasting him. That was always a good sign. "I mean, not exactly _sorry_ , because you're absolutely adorable –"

"Quiet, I suppose!" She thrust out her arm, and Subaru felt the distinct sensation of his mana being extracted from his broken gate. It was rougher than usual–

"Ow! Could you be a bit gentler?!"

–much rougher, but that was to be expected.

"It is done, I suppose," she stated. "You won't explode, in fact."

Subaru rubbed his sore chest. "That's always a good thing in my book."

"You are an idiot, in fact." She sniffed and placed her hand over her heart, her perpetual frown deepening. "Your mana… traces of it feels like mother's."

He shifted uncomfortably as he admitted, "Probably because the crazy lady gave me tea made out of her body fluids."

Beatrice narrowed her eyes. "That makes no sense, I suppose," she grouched. "Now, Betty asked you last night, and Betty will ask you again. How do you know my mother, I wonder?"

He tilted his head in confusion. "Didn't we go over this? I met her."

"That answers nothing, in fact!" she shot back. "Mother is dead!"

Subaru scoffed. "Do you honestly believe that a Witch obsessed with immortality would leave this world so easily?"

Beatrice had no response.

"We had a little tea party. Multiple, actually." Subaru fidgeted, a bit embarrassed as he confessed, "The second time, I, uh, thought she was cute. Like, mega cute. I mean, have you _seen_ her in a schoolgirl outfit? I mean, wow, that girl is –"

"Stay focused, I supposed!"

He rubbed his neck, face flushed. "Right, right. Sorry, it's just weird looking back on it. Anyway, she brought me to her dream world because she wanted to form a contract with me. Basically, I'd achieve all my goals, and she'd always be there to guide me. I mean, who wouldn't take that offer? Luckily, the truth came out: she was manipulating me. Sure, my end goal would be reached, but I'd be a shell of my former self. It would be like dying ten thousand times." He shivered. "I'm only glad that Sa– that the other people there convinced me not to do it.

"Echidna's greed is uncontrollable. It's in her nature to desire knowledge above all else. She _can't_ care about other people if it means she'll learn something. She'll take, and she'll take, and she'll take until there's nothing left.

"That's what she did to you, Beatrice. She forced you into a position with no way out just to see how you'd react. She left you and sucked the life out of you. She could have used her Book of Wisdom to get the answers she was looking for, but that wasn't as 'fun' for her. Don't you see, Beatrice? You're trapped, and you need to escape."

He reached out his hand and she eyed it wearily. Earnestly, he told her, "Form a contract with me, Beako. Let me be 'Your Person.' Let me be your Number One."

Beatrice shoved his hand away and took a step back. "I-I won't!" she shouted. "You're lying, I suppose! Everything, everything you said is a lie! Mother would never leave me behind, and she'd _never_ want me to form a contract with _you_ , in fact!"

"Then why are you reading an empty Gospel?" asked Subaru, but it wasn't a question. She shook her head vehemently and covered her ears, but he refused to back down. "Why do you face the door, waiting every moment for 'That Person'? Why did Echidna give Roswaal information about her revival, but left you to your fate?"

"B-because she –"

"Maybe she did love you. I wouldn't know because I haven't seen it!" He was getting worked up thinking of the loneliness she had been through. "All I know is that four hundred years is _far_ too long to wait for someone who doesn't exist. If she was giving you a sign, or your Gospel had actual _words_ in it, then that'd be fine; help her forever for all I care. However, she _isn't_ doing that. She's using you as sick entertainment. You are nothing but an object to Echidna."

She took a shuddering breath and clenched her fists. "Leave," she said shakily.

"Please, Beako. I care about you and I can't stand to see you like this." He held out his hand, imploring her to take it. "Choose me. We can form our own contract, and –"

" _I said leave, I suppose!"_ She thrust out her arm, face twisted in fury. A blast of magic hit Subaru dead-on and he crashed through the window, landing in the hedges below.

"Déjà vu." He rubbed his head and winced. "Fuck, that hurt. Probably sprained a rib. Next, I'll find out that I'm…" a murky brown filled his vision, "covered in fertilizer. Wonderful. The only thing that would make this worse would be –"

"Good afternoon, Subaaaru!"

"–Roswaal."

The lord of the manor, dressed in a fine suit and holding a briefcase, smirked at Subaru. "Oho, it's liiike you don't want to see me!"

"What do you mean? I love seeing your pervy clown makeup, Ros!" Subaru flicked his fingers at Roswaal, trying to hit him with some stray fertilizer.

Roswaal placed a hand over his chest and gasped. "I'm wouuunded! And here I thought we were getting along smashingly."

Subaru's eye twitched. "Well, you haven't ordered my death, so that's good enough."

"Hmm." Roswaal eyed Subaru carefully before walking away. "By the waaay, clean yourself up. You reek."

"Yeah," Subaru muttered. "Will do."

Once Roswaal was out of sight, Subaru let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. His nails left indents in his palms as tremors shook his body.

Roswaal made him sick. Subaru couldn't look at that asshole without feeling pissed off.

He couldn't even _think_ of Roswaal without constantly reminding himself of his solemn vow: to never treat life as casually as Roswaal did. He would never throw away his own life and trust it to his next self, or whatever the fuck the clown's twisted mindset was. He would _never_ kill innocent people to achieve his goals. It absolutely sickened him.

But that wasn't the whole truth, was it?

What sickened him the most was how similar they were.

* * *

Beatrice couldn't read today.

She had been reading for four hundred years straight. Her skill was unparalleled, and her focus was unwavering. "So, why can't I read today, I wonder?" she murmured softly.

"Probably because your Gospel is blank." She could hear it now: that irritating boy trying to desecrate her mother's honor. "Kinda hard to read what's not there, you know?"

She looked up to find an annoying pest. "Wait, what – how did you get in here, I suppose?" she asked incredulously. "Betty used her Door Crossing to connect the Forbidden Archive to the Sanctuary **–** purely to avoid you, I might add **–** and you just waltz in here, in fact!"

Subaru tilted his head. "The Sanctuary? What the hell are you talking about? I was taking a midnight trip to the bathroom. You sure you weren't thinking about me taking a dump or something?"

She clenched her fists. "You… you insufferable –"

"So, you thought any more about that contract?"

" _OUT! NOW!"_ Beatrice unleashed her magic and threw out the intruder with all the force she could muster, the door slamming shut behind him. Finally, it was quiet. Peaceful.

No one around to bother her.

No one around to keep her company.

She was alone.

She picked up her Gospel with trembling fingers as she held it close to her heart, desperately clinging to the last vestiges of her mother's mana.

"That idiotic, insolent, nasty-eyed brat," she muttered angrily. "He does nothing but annoy Betty, I suppose."

He came in, uninvited, and wouldn't shut up. He had the _audacity_ to try and form a contract with her.

He persistently told her that she was worth something and that he'd take care of her and her library.

He told her that her mother didn't love her and was just using her.

He spent time with her and didn't back down despite the abuse she piled onto him. He said more to her in two days than her mother had in four hundred years.

She hated him with her entire being. She cared about him enough to leave her library to make sure he was okay.

She pounded her head with her fists and screamed as loud as she could. Whether it was anger, confusion, a tantrum, or a cry for help, she didn't know. She just needed to drown out these thoughts. She wanted to be left alone to wait for "That Person." She desperately needed companionship and for someone to free her from this hell. She cried for help…

…But nobody came.

For the first time since Ryuzu Meyers abandoned her, Beatrice cried.

* * *

When Subaru came to, he found himself in a familiar, brightly lit forest. Beatrice wasn't lying; he really was at the Sanctuary. Not a single door was in sight, though a nearby tree had a suspiciously large hole in its trunk. He reached in and found a bunch of maggots. Go figure.

He must have really pissed her off if she used Door Crossing _without a door_. Maybe he should have gone a little easier on the "your mother doesn't love you" speeches. He could imagine the reproachful look that Satella would have given him. Honestly, he wouldn't even blame her. Subaru may have his issues with Echidna, but that didn't give him the right to lose his temper and talk shit about her in front of her daughter.

He scratched roughly at his arm. He was an inconsiderate dick to Beatrice's feelings, and now he had to face the consequences.

Basically, Subaru's plan of "make a contract with Beako and go all Super Saiyan Subaru on Elsa's psycho ass" was a complete and utter failure. Now, if he wanted to beat Elsa, he'd need to utilize some… underhanded tactics.

Sunlight streamed through the trees as he schemed – wasn't it nighttime a moment ago? How long was he out for? He clutched his head and groaned. "Stupid demon lolis and their magic… why can't _I_ blast people with my mind? All I got is a broken gate, a weird hand thing, and… well, okay, I have Cor Leonis. That's pretty sweet." Sure, it wasn't anything like flying, elemental magic, or anything involving Reinhard, but it was useful.

If a pathetic person like Subaru could be useful, then perhaps there was hope for this world.

He wandered aimlessly through the forest. The bramble and sticks scraped his bare feet and tore his nightclothes, but that was fine. He needed to find a way back to the mansion, and fast. It was a half-day's trip and Elsa would be there in a day and a half.

If Elsa's target weren't there, who knew how she'd react?

Subaru's thoughts drifted to Emilia, as they so often did. The poor thing would be worried sick. She'd probably view his absence as her fault, too; Subaru spent time with her, and now he's missing. Boom, logic. He'd have to get home before she went into a downward spiral of self-pity. Sure, it was nice to have a cute girl worry about him, but he didn't exactly _like_ to fuel her anxiety.

He needed to find some transportation. The Sanctuary was Roswaal's territory, so a little "I'm a knight serving under Lord Roswaal" should get him a carriage, right?

Well, no. That would normally work, but Roswaal was a bastard and everyone here hated him.

Then there was Garfiel, but it wasn't _his_ Garfiel. It wasn't the same guy who called him 'captain' and taught him chivalry, but an angry fourteen-year-old with mommy issues.

So, yeah. Probably best to avoid people.

But what about clones?

"You look lost, young one. Come with me and I'll make you some tea."

Subaru grinned at the tiny, pink-haired girl that appeared in front of him. "Thanks, old lady. Lead the way."

In a dingy hut deep within the forest, two kindred souls shared some tea. Both had deceptive ages; Subaru was at least a few months older than he appeared, and Ryuzu was… well, four-hundred-years-old.

Okay, maybe they weren't _that_ similar.

"There are too many loli-grandmas in this fantasy world," Subaru muttered into his tea.

Theta put down her cup to gaze at him curiously. "Did you say something, Young Su?"

He waved her off. "Ah, it's nothing. Thanks for the tea."

"Of course," she said with a nod. "Anything for the Apostle of Greed."

"What did you – ow, fuck!" Subaru jolted and spilled boiling water all over his arm. "Do you – ah, _shit_ , that hurts – have a salve for burns?"

Ryuzu shook her head and Subaru swore again. Why did tea have to be so damn hot, anyway?

A soft glow filled his vision and the pain in his arm ceased. He shot a surprised look at Ryuzu, who was gently cradling his once-injured arm in her small hands.

"I didn't know you can do magic," he murmured.

It was a bit hard to tell with her jacket over her mouth, but Subaru thought she looked smug. "When you are around Lady Echidna for a long time, you pick up a few tricks."

"Lucky you," he grumbled. "I spent a lot of time with Roswaal and got a broken gate."

"That is not surprising," she mused, ignoring his sarcasm. "Young Ros's ancestor broke his gate when he was young, too."

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "You know about… Oh, I see," he realized. "You're Theta."

"Thay… tah?" Ryuzu intoned as if tasting the unfamiliar word. "What does that mean, Young Su?"

"It's my way of keeping track of you fi- four main clones," he said, hastily correcting himself. "Alpha, Beta, Sigma, and Theta. You're the one who took the First Trial."

Theta sat back and sipped her tea. "You know much, Young Su. That is to be expected from the Apostle of Greed."

There it was again. "Yeah, what's up with that?" he asked, a bit annoyed at having another connection to that madwoman. "I'm not exactly one of Echidna's biggest supporters. She and I have quite a bit of history, and neither of us are good at letting go of grudges."

"I do not know of your shared past, Young Su, but the moment you arrived in the Sanctuary, the title of Apostle of Greed was bestowed upon you by Lady Echidna."

"Huh. Neat." A grin lit up his face. "Are you saying I can, like, order you guys around?"

"If that is what you wish, then yes." She eyed him warily. "Please remember that I have the body of a twelve-year-old."

Subaru flushed, horrified. "N-no! Nothing like that, ew, no! I'm not _that_ kind of Lolimancer. I was just going to say that you can't tell anyone except the clones about this meeting or what we talked about. Besides, my heart already belongs to two… three girls? No, it's two. Would be three but she's not the same. Then, is it one? One and a half? Wait, that's not – that's not the situation at all! Ugh, stupid reincarnation shenanigans. I just _had_ to fall in love with two beautiful women _who look fucking identical_." He glared at his tea like it was solely responsible for his heart's inability to decide. "Now I'm unloading my girl problems onto a random loli. Just how scummy can I get?"

Theta's eyes danced with mirth. "Your heart is troubled, Young Su. Please, tell me more. Entertainment is in short supply in the Sanctuary."

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, grandma," he grumbled. "Look, I need a way back home. Can you get me some transportation?"

She nodded, saying, "It depends. Where are you going?"

"Roswaal's mansion," he answered. "I need to be there in a day and a half, max."

"I can do that for you. Make your way to the barrier at the end of the trail. I will meet you there with a ground dragon."

Subaru bowed his head. "Thank you, Theta, for your generosity."

"Of course, Young Su." She smiled mischievously. "However, I must request that you return someday. It gets dreadfully lonely here, and your chaos is amusing."

"Gee, thanks."

They parted ways at the bottom of the hill. Subaru waited for an hour at the designated meeting spot, but Theta did not appear.

"Come on, Theta," he mumbled. "I need to get back home."

It wasn't just Elsa he was worried about. Emilia was going to _slay_ him. Well, maybe not. She's more of a "kill it with kindness" kind of girl. Still, he didn't want to make her worry. He was about to be her knight, and he left the day after that was decided. That must be great for her fragile self-esteem.

Basically, he was prepared to grovel. Then, he'd beg for her help in defeating Elsa. What was he even going to say?

_"Hey, remember my mental breakdown in the slums? Had the same thing just now. Elsa's coming, and she's gonna kill me. Mind helping me not die? I was going to get Beatrice's help, but I fucked up and now she hates me."_

That's exactly what he was going to say. He'll look like a total buffoon.

Speaking of buffoons, he declared war on the Witch's Cult with no plan whatsoever. Sure, he could fumble some plans together to deal with Guese and Regulus (most of which involved Reinhard), but he had no idea where they were hiding. Hell, he had no idea where _any_ of them were. Louis Arneb was in Subaru's Watchtower, so Lye Batenkaitos and Roy Alphard might be there as well as soon as Sand Time was deactivated, but Subaru couldn't cross the desert without Meili.

A couple of cultists might show up after Emilia was revealed as a Royal Selection candidate, but that wasn't enough. Even if he found them, there were still some beings that he couldn't kill without assistance.

 _'I could ask Echidna for advice,'_ he thought before immediately shooting it down. He'd seen what happened to those who were indebted to the Witch of Greed.

Looks like he'd be doing things on his own.

 _"_ Fuck my life," he grumbled to himself. He tapped his foot impatiently and checked an imaginary watch. "Come on, come on… the clock is ticking, Theta."

A small figure appeared out of the trees. "Patience is a virtue, Young Su."

He rolled his eyes, saying, "Yeah, but not when an assassin is after you."

Theta raised her eyebrows ever-so-slightly. "An assassin?" she echoed. "Your life really _is_ chaotic. Please tell me more."

Subaru mock glared. "You have a twisted sense of humor."

She gave a wry grin. "Spend four hundred years guarding a tomb and see how mundane your humor becomes."

"I'll be sure to do that," he said drily. "You got my ride?"

Theta nodded and let out a sharp whistle. Out of the forest came a brown ground dragon with a beige underbelly.

Subaru's eyes widened. "No way," he whispered in awe. "Patrasche? How?"

"She appeared a few days ago," said Theta as she patted the ground dragon's side. "Quite the feisty one; wouldn't let anyone near her. However, when I went to get your transportation, she ran right up to me." Theta gave Subaru a sideways glance. "She does not bear Young Ros's crest, yet you seem to know her."

"You could say that." He wrapped his arms around the dragon's neck. "I missed you, Patrasche. Things weren't the same without you." He pulled back and looked at her fondly. "How are you here, anyway? I thought you'd be with Crusch."

Wait a moment, weren't Patrasche's eyes orange? Why were they **–**

Subaru's breath hitched. "Ella? Is that… did you do this?"

Patrasche's head bowed, and her amethyst eyes faded to the orange he was familiar with.

Theta gently tugged on his sleeve. "Young Su, are you all right?" she asked softly.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," he muttered distantly. "Why?"

Tactfully, she pointed out, "You're crying."

He wiped his eyes. "Heh… Guess I am. It's just… have you ever realized that someone you love is watching over you, even after they're gone?"

Theta nodded. "I came to that same realization this morning." The two shared a grin before he grimaced. Echidna would watch out for Theta, but not Beatrice.

 _'Yet another reason why I hate you,'_ he thought angrily.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and hopped onto Patrasche's back, giving her neck a loving pat. "Thanks for everything, Theta. I'll be seeing you soon. Keep an eye on Garfiel, all right?"

Theta looked somewhere between puzzled and amused. "I won't even ask how you know him."

"That's a pretty good philosophy for dealing with me." With a laugh, he clapped his heels into Patrasche's side and rode towards the barrier. The path in front of him briefly glowed blue, accepting Subaru's right to pass.

"Ride like the wind, Patrasche." He grinned, his heart filled with hope. "We have a psycho to fight."


	8. The Curse Doll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for editing this and for laughing at my shitty jokes.

_Pain._

_He thought he knew it before; thought that all the shit he'd been through would have prepared him for this, but the fire coursing through his veins was unlike anything he'd ever experienced._

_His body was pulled apart and rearranged repeatedly as the energy of the void burned off his remaining skin._

_He tried to breathe, but he had lost one of his lungs to the abyss._

_He tried to scream, but his windpipe had been crushed by the vacuum of space._

_He tried to die, but God wouldn't let him._

_All he could do was wait…_

_...and wait…_

_Time had no meaning in this place, but he swore he was there for years. He was a shell of himself, resembling a classroom skeleton more than a man. He no longer felt pain, or anything, really. He had been numbed to it all._

_At least, he thought he was. Colliding with solid ground and breaking his remaining bones brought him to a harsh reality._

_White filled his vision. So, he was finally dying._

_"_ – _er, we… help_ – _"_

_Actually, it was more of a silver… Was that a face?_

_"_ – _going… right."_

_He had never seen a more beautiful woman. Perhaps sending an angel was God's way of apologizing for his torture._

_A hand rested on his cheek as warmth spread throughout his body._

_"Rest. You're safe now."_

_He closed his eyes... and awoke to an unfamiliar ceiling._

_He took a deep breath. He couldn't do that before._

_Finally, he could be at peace._

_"'Tis good to see you're awake," came a voice like a silver bell. He looked over and found the angel from before. She was even more stunning now that he could see her clearly._

Where am I? _He tried to ask but found himself unable to speak. The girl seemed to understand, though._

" _You're at my home. Well, my mother's home. You're still healing, so please exert caution before moving."_

_Healing? So, he wasn't dead?_

_He didn't know how to feel about that._

_Still, if he wasn't dead, then he shouldn't feel this… whole. He felt his arms, legs, torso, and everything else that was lost._

_It wasn't fair. This wasn't supposed to happen. Yes, he knew what he wished for, but this wasn't what he meant! He wanted it to be quick, not for –_

_"Shhh…" A hand threaded its way through his hair, calming him immensely. It was a pleasant, albeit foreign sensation. He hadn't felt a touch like this since… well, ever._

_"Everything will be all right," soothed the woman. "I know this is scary. You're in an unfamiliar place and you're wounded, but don't you worry about a thing because I'll take care of you."_

_So many questions ran through his mind, but there was one thing he needed to know. This kind, gentle, beautiful stranger… what was…_

_"Wh- ah…"_

_"Take your time."_

_"Wh… Wh… What…"_

_"Here, I shall get you some water. That should help." She stood up, but with what little strength he had left, he grabbed onto her arm._

_With his eyes, he pleaded, "Don't go."_

_Her eyes – a gentle shade of amethyst – softened at the sudden gesture. "I suppose I can stay," she said quietly. "But please, do not stress your throat."_

_He could handle it, for he_ needed _to ask. "Wh-what's… y-your name?"_

_She smiled at him and his heart began to beat frantically in his chest._

" _My name is Satella."_

* * *

Patrasche's claws clicked against the stone, jerking Subaru awake. He flexed his fingers, took a deep breath, and twisted his neck, as if taking inventory of his body parts.

It was disorienting, remembering that void. He'd love to forget about it, but if he did, he'd also forget what happened after.

He'd forget one of his reasons for fighting.

Perhaps it was a bit morbid, but Subaru was thankful for that dream.

By the time Roswaal's mansion came into view, the sun had dipped low into the sky.

Twenty-four hours remaining. Subaru would make it count.

"Come on, Patrasche," he murmured, coaxing her to move faster. "We're almost there."

He squinted. Off in the distance, he saw a ground dragon dashing toward him, a silver-haired rider on its back. "What on Earth… _Oi! Emilia-tan!"_ he shouted. He waved his arms above his head, grinning as she noticed him. _"What are you doing? Being out late is bad for your skin!"_

He urged Patrasche further and met Emilia by one of the mansion's fountains. "Where were you?!" She stomped over to him, face red with indignation. "I was worried sick! You disappear in the middle of the night, telling _no one_ where you're going, and now you're talking about my _skin?!_ "

"To be fair, I didn't exactly plan to leave," he said dismissively. Apparently, that was the wrong answer.

She threw her arms up in frustration, rapidly saying, "That makes it worse! Who kidnapped you? Who hurt you?"

"Relax, Emi–"

"I can't relax!" she screeched before her face fell, all traces of anger fading. "You… Someone took you and I thought I'd never see you again. You promised me, Subaru. You promised you'd stay by my side."

A pit of regret formed at the base of his stomach and he scratched roughly at his arm through his sleep. "I'm right here, Emilia. I came back as soon as I could." He gathered her in his arms and she gripped his nightclothes as if to assure herself that he was actually there. "I would never leave you behind."

_'Never again.'_

Her eyes were wide as she stared up at him. "Promise?"

"I promise, Emilia-tan." He held her for a moment longer before pulling back. "Listen: I need your help."

* * *

It had been a long day for Emilia.

It had started out fine, of course. She got up, Puck did her hair, and she studied. She didn't see Subaru at all, which wasn't strange in and of itself. It wasn't like she knew his daily routine. However, she couldn't deny that she was hoping for another morning visit or at least a quick 'hello' at breakfast.

She immediately berated herself for being so selfish. He was busy getting adjusted to his new home – his new _life_ – and she was pining for attention.

Puck, sensing Emilia's thoughts, went to console her. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to see Subaru. He's your friend, and friends like to see each other."

She nodded slowly. "I guess that makes sense," she admitted. "It's just sooo strange; I've never had a friend before. He doesn't even care that I'm a half-elf."

"Yeah, and there's no ill-intent or ulterior motives. All I sense is a desire to protect you and stand by your side. Well, that and…"

"And?" she asked, her curiosity peaked.

Puck waved her off. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll tell you with time."

"That's not fair!" she whined. "You can't just tell someone that and expect them to be okay with it."

"Then forget I said anything."

"That's not… hmph, fine." She pouted, but it was hard to be mad at an adorable floating kitten. So, she studied for another couple of hours as the topic was pushed from her mind.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. She was always thinking of her knight-to-be, even though she didn't fully understand why.

Eventually, a voice broke through her concentration. "Miss Emilia, it is time for lunch."

Emilia looked up from her notes and smiled at the blue-haired maid in front of her. "Thank you, Rem. Did you get Subaru yet?"

"I have not," Rem admitted. "I was about to ask you if you've seen him today. He didn't show up for breakfast and his room is empty."

Emilia grimaced. "That's… not good." Then, with barely-concealed panic, "What if he's lost? Oh, I knew I should have checked on him!"

"Do not worry, Miss Emilia," Rem soothed. "I will have Sister use her clairvoyance. If he is outside, Sister will find him. I will check the inside of the mansion."

Emilia took a deep breath. "Thank you, Rem. I will –"

"You will enjoy your lunch," Rem said sternly. "Please do not concern yourself."

Emilia wanted to protest, but despite how much she cursed herself for it, she was meek. "O-okay, but if there's anything I can do, please let me know!"

Rem gave a slight bow, saying, "Of course, Miss Emilia."

Lunch was a delectable selection of meats, fruits, and vegetables; the finest chefs in Lugunica would clamor to emulate it.

Emilia's plate remained untouched.

"You need to eat, Lia." Puck's voice was gentle and was typically enough to knock Emilia out of any funk, but her face remained listless and lost.

"I'm not hungry," she insisted, as stubborn as ever.

He sighed. "I know you're worried, but Subaru wouldn't want you to starve himself for his sake."

She nodded, ate a single grain of rice, and resumed moping.

"Lia, please –"

"Do you think he ran away?" She shoved down the traitorous tears, but Puck wasn't fooled.

Puck floated in front of Emilia and placed a paw on her cheek, telling her, "You're overthinking again. Don't you worry about a thing. Subaru would never abandon you."

She let a single tear slip as she protested, "But what if he realized how horrible his life would be if he was a half-elf's knight?"

Puck rolled his eyes at his daughter's poor logic. "You said it yourself: he doesn't care. Besides, he declared war on the Witch's Cult. He's probably _glad_ that you're a half-elf."

"But –"

"No more buts," he said sternly. "Subaru didn't run away. I'm not a fan of his incessant flirting with my innocent daughter, but even I can vouch for his loyalty."

Emilia visibly deflated as her eyes filled with shame. "You're right. I should have more faith in him. I _do_ have faith in him. I just feel so useless." She perked up, excitedly saying, "Maybe Roswaal has seen him! We should go ask."

Then, Rem entered the room, saying, "Lord Roswaal left this morning on important business." She bowed her head to Emilia in greeting as she continued. "I have been informed by Sister that Sir Subaru is not within the mansion grounds, the forest, or the village. I have checked every room in the mansion, but he is nowhere to be found."

Emilia's breath hitched. "Please, no…"

"What about Beatrice?" asked Puck. "She would know if he's still in the mansion, right?"

"Lady Beatrice has hidden herself," Rem answered. "I am afraid no one will be able to visit her."

With that, Emilia made up her mind. "Thank you, Rem. Please get me a ground dragon. I will be leaving within the hour."

"Yes, Miss Emilia." With another bow, Rem turned and left.

Puck floated in front of Emilia, asking, "You're not doing what I think you're doing, are you?"

"I am," she said stubbornly. "Don't try to stop me."

He shook his head. "I would never. I go where you go, my daughter."

She let a smile bloom on her face. "Mhm. Thank you, Puck. Let's go find Subaru."

A short time later, Rem presented Emilia with a beautiful green ground dragon, saying, "He is young, but he is the fastest ground dragon in Lord Roswaal's possession. I hope he helps you find Subaru soon."

Emilia cast a sideways glance at Rem. "How did you know what I was doing?"

"To be quite honest, Miss Emilia, it was so obvious that I didn't know you were hiding it."

She cast a wry grin at the maid. "I suppose it was the most sensible course of action. Thanks for your help, Rem. I won't leave Roswaal's territory, so it shouldn't be too hard to find me if I'm not back in a couple of days."

"I understand. Good luck, Miss Emilia."

With a nod, Emilia kicked off, determined to find her friend. She was prepared to go without sleep if need be, just to make sure he was safe.

She found him within a minute. Go figure.

Subaru was riding towards her on a brown ground dragon, barefoot, and in his nightclothes. It was obvious he hadn't planned for this excursion. Things went as one would expect: she yelled at him, cried, hugged him, and made him promise to never leave her again.

_Pathetic. I'm such a child._

Still, in the end, Subaru was back. Everything was okay… for about five seconds.

"Listen: I need your help. Elsa is going to be here in twenty-four hours."

Her eyes widened as panic threatened to overtake her. "Wh-what? I don't understand."

"Just trust me on this. I can't fight her alone. I'll need your help, and preferably Rem, Ram, and Ros, too."

"I'll help you, and I'm sure we could get Rem and Ram, but Roswaal left this morning on important business."

"Damn it!" Subaru growled. "Of course, that bastard has a hand in this."

"You're not making any sense, Subaru." Did something happen on his unplanned excursion that was messing with his mind? "What's going on? How do you know that Elsa's coming?"

Subaru hesitated. "I can't tell you."

That hurt more than she'd like to admit. "But… we're friends, aren't we? Don't friends tell each other everything?"

He scratched roughly at his arm. "I mean, some friends do, yeah, but I _can't_ tell you this."

"Can't, or won't?" she asked, noticing his emphasis.

"Can't," he asserted. "Honestly, you're the person I want to tell the most."

She nodded. She wasn't sure if that made her feel better or heightened her worry. "I understand. I trust you, Subaru."

His face broke into a huge smile. "You have no idea how much that means to me, Emilia-tan. One day, I'll find a way to tell you everything, but until then, just keep putting your faith in your loyal knight."

She grinned back. His enthusiasm was simply infectious. "I think I can do that." She walked towards the mansion, filled with determination. "Now, let's go find Ram and Rem. I trust you have a plan?"

* * *

"Your plan is stupid, Barusu. End yourself."

"You haven't even heard it yet!"

"The look on your face is stupid. Therefore, your plan is as well."

"That… that doesn't even make any sense!"

Subaru didn't expect Ram to joyfully jump into his arms and declare her undying loyalty, but she could at _least_ hear him out.

"Please, Ram," Emilia pleaded. "We need all the help we can get, and we'd love to have you and Rem on our side."

Ram's demeanor instantly shifted to that of the perfect, polite maid. "Apologies, Miss Emilia," she replied with a curtsy. "Please continue, Barusu."

Ram kept her expression carefully blank throughout Subaru's entire explanation, patiently waiting for him to finish. Then, in the same tone as before, "Your plan is stupid, Barusu. End yourself."

He rolled his eyes as he grumbled, "Gee, thanks, and after all the time I spent working on it. You know, there are more polite ways to say 'sorry, can't help.'"

"But I can help. I just don't want to."

Rem – who had remained quietly by her sister's side – spoke up. "I won't be anywhere near as useful as Sister, but I would be happy to aid you."

Subaru grinned. "Thanks, Rem-Rem! I knew I could count on you."

Emilia matched her knight's expression. "Mhm. I appreciate your help as well, Rem. Meet us in Subaru's room –"

"The Knight's Quarters," he corrected.

"…Subaru's _room_ ," she said emphatically, "at dusk tomorrow."

Rem giggled at the banter while Ram looked like she swallowed something distinctly unpleasant. "Fine," Ram relented, "I suppose I will offer my aid. After all, I cannot in good conscience leave my pure, innocent sister alone with a perverted fiend like Barusu."

Subaru gasped dramatically. "Could it be? Is there some _dere_ to your _tsun_? You've been holding out on us, Ram!"

"You're right," she admitted. "I've held back on strangling you. Please, keep convincing me to loosen my restraint."

Subaru argued back, but his heart wasn't into it. He couldn't stop thinking about the upcoming battle. Last time, they had the absolute powerhouse that was Garfiel, and they only defeated Elsa by burning down the mansion. This time around, Subaru's closest bet was Beatrice, and he fucked that up big time. His only Plan B was a potential loophole in how Elsa's immortality worked, and there was no guarantee he was right.

Despite the bleak outlook, Subaru wouldn't give up. He wouldn't die. He'd make it work, and he'd get a happy ending.

_'You're going down, Elsa.'_

The next day came and went, and soon it was well past midnight. Subaru put on a brave face and gave a motivational speech, Rem nodding along happily.

However, Emilia saw through Subaru's façade. She saw the way his hands drifted to his scar, the same way her hands drifted to her own. It was strange: while she could derive some small comfort from knowing she wasn't alone, she hated the feeling of powerlessness one felt against a foe like Elsa and hated herself even more for dragging others into this mess.

It never crossed her mind to blame him for dragging _her_ into this.

"It is late, Barusu," chastised Ram. "You're going to give my dear sister eye shadows if you keep her up this long."

"It's okay, Sister." Rem's smile lit up the room, and Emilia couldn't help but notice how cute it was. "Think of it as our thanks for Subaru's help in the kitchen the other day."

"It disappoints me that you refer to that display as 'help.' He couldn't even – _What the hell?!_ "

A silver throwing knife embedded itself in the wall behind Ram, just inches away from her neck. Recovering quickly, she pulled it out of the wall and flung it into the darkness. The gut-wrenching sound of a blade piercing flesh reverberated around the room.

"Oh, my," came a voice that Emilia hoped to never hear again. "This is… unexpected." Elsa stepped out of the shadows, casually tearing the knife out of her heart like it was a mere splinter. "I was told to expect only one person."

"It looks like we got the upper hand, Elsa," Subaru proudly declared. "You may as well go crying back to your Mama."

Elsa giggled, excitedly saying, "Oh, I disagree! The more corpses, the merrier. Say, I wonder which one of you has the most beautiful bowels. Is it you, young man?"

"I wouldn't say so. My insides are all gross. You see, where I'm from, blood is actually identical to – Ah, looks like I distracted you long enough."

"Wha–" Elsa whipped around to find Rem daintily holding Elsa's magic cloak, a mischievous smile on her face. Out of reflex, Elsa slashed with her knife, but Rem hopped back and placed the cloak on a hanger. "How… interesting."

"What's that? The invincible Bower Hunter was caught off guard by a cute maid? It's not surprising: Rem's so stealthy, she could hide a metal flail in that dress of hers and it wouldn't make a sound. Stealing your protective cloak is easy for her, so don't beat yourself up over it." Subaru smirked. "Actually, please do. It would make our job a lot easier."

Elsa frowned. "I'm afraid I don't understand. You know enough about me to know about my cloak, yet you're acting like that gives you a significant advantage."

Subaru's grin faltered ever-so-slightly before it returned in full force. "I'd normally agree, but – _Shit!"_ He leaped back, narrowly avoiding Elsa's strike. "What was that for? We were having such a great discussion!"

"I'm here for an assassination, not a dialogue." She tilted her head ever-so-slightly, successfully dodging a burst of wind magic. "I must admit, I'm a tad upset. It's not nice to gang up on a poor, defenseless lady."

"Defenseless my ass!" he shouted as he tensed, his eyes flaming with anger. "Take this, you freak of nature!"

"You're mine." Upon seeing the look in his eyes, Elsa flipped into the air, preparing to skewer Subaru.

"Now!"  
" _Al Huma!"_

A giant spear of ice, tall enough to scrape the ceiling, skewered Elsa, pinning her in place.

"Great job, Emilia! Your turn, Ram!"

Ram dashed towards the downed Elsa and jumped on her back, beginning her search. Elsa struggled, but Emilia and Rem pinned her down.

"It's reeaally weird," Emilia mused. Her expression remained determined, but wonder was evident in her tone. "I can feel her trying to escape, and it should be more than enough to throw me off, but I feel like I have unlimited strength. Her attacks aren't causing me any pain, either."

"Y-yeah." Subaru panted with exertion as sweat began to roll down his forehead. "Cor Leonis is a c-cool power, huh? J-just… mind hurrying up? She's pretty tough."

"I'm going as fast as I can, Barusu," growled Ram. "Your voice is not required for my task."

Elsa struggled and made a snide remark about bowels but was promptly ignored. If Subaru's pale complexion was any indication, they were on a strict time limit.

"Hah! Found it!" Ram pulled back one of Elsa's shoulder straps to reveal a strange marking; Emilia had seen a few tattoos in the streets of the capital, but nothing this… creepy. It almost looked like Subaru; that is, if Subaru were to be carved into someone's skin.

For the first time in her life, Elsa was at a loss for words. Of course, the icy spear in her lungs probably didn't help matters.

Ram pulled out her wand, gathered wind magic at the tip, and pointed it at Elsa's marking. "This is what happens when you try to hurt my sister." Ram plunged the wand into Elsa's shoulder, her magic carving dozens of lines into the marking. Elsa squirmed and knocked her shoulder into Ram's nose, but Ram wouldn't let up. Eventually, Ram lifted her wand, revealing an entirely new marking.

One that looked like Elsa.

The Bowel Hunter grunted and fell still. Blood pooled around her lips, and her wounds stopped healing. "I… I don't understand. My blessing, how did you know about my blessing? How did you _nullify_ my blessing?"

Subaru knelt before Elsa, gathering his breath before speaking. "It's terrifying isn't it? Thinking you're one step ahead and realizing you're two steps behind… being overpowered in the middle of the night by a foe much stronger than you… this is what your victims felt. It's called karma, Elsa, and it's caught up to you. You've lost."

"You –"

"I wonder what _Capella_ would say when she found out you failed?"

A jet-black blade flew towards Subaru's throat, stopping an inch before it hit its mark. Elsa's head rolled in front of them as the icy flowers that severed it disappeared into the ether.

"Don't you _ever_ try to hurt my knight."

Subaru gaped at Emilia. "EMT... you're absolutely badass."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means."

"It means you're kinda scary sometimes –"

"Hey!"

"– but also, you're super attractive and I admire you."

She blushed furiously. "O-oh…"

Slowly, the four backed away from Elsa's body. "What do we do now?" asked Rem.

"We'll report this to the capital," answered Subaru. "Elsa's probably on the Royal Guard's hit list or something like that. I'll send a letter to Reinhard in the morning."

"It's already morning, Subaru."

Bewildered, Subaru looked out the window, finally noticing the light streaming into the room. "You're right." Amazement filled his voice as he threw his head back and laughed. "Holy _shit_ , you guys, it worked! We made it!" He patted his stomach. "Look! There's no knife wound! I'm not dead!"

Rem eyed him wearily. "A-are you okay, Subaru? You must be exhausted after using your power. Why don't you take a nap?"

"That's not a bad idea, honestly, but I'm not sleeping in here. I mean…" He trailed off, gesturing in the direction of Elsa's headless corpse.

Her expression softened in understanding as she told him, "I will prepare one of the guest rooms. Please follow me."

"Hold on," Emilia interject, shooting an annoyed glance at Subaru. "Didn't you say that you could give us back our fatigue after using Cor Leonis?"

He rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I mean, I _can_ , but there's no need. I'll sleep it off."

She shook her head vehemently. "None of that, mister," she chided. "We stand together, which means we suffer together."

"That's not –" He stopped at the reproachful look on her face. Disgruntled, he said, "You're a stubborn one, Emilia-tan. All right, you asked for it."

A massive wave of exhaustion and pain swept over her, knocking her off her feet. She could barely breathe, and it looked like Ram and Rem were in the same position as her.

Subaru – who looked perfectly refreshed – raised his eyebrows. "That bad, huh? Sorry about that."

"D-die, Barusu."

He rolled his eyes. "Geez, you're welcome for taking on your burdens."

"S-Subaru..." Emilia gasped out as a sharp pain hit her side. "All our –"

"All your wounds and fatigue, yeah."

"H-how..." She didn't bother finishing her question as she was struggling to breathe.

"How did I handle this from all three of you when you can't handle them individually?" The words stung, but Emilia managed a nod. "It's because you got it all at once and it caught you by surprise whereas I received it gradually. I wouldn't worry about it."

That sounded right, but she knew it wasn't. "Liar," she breathed. "This pain… this exhaustion… isn't normal."

"Emilia, I –"

"Who hurt you, Subaru? Wh-why are you so used to this?"

Subaru winced. "One day, Emilia-tan… One day." She was about to respond, but a tap on the window interrupted her. A beautiful white bird was perched on the ledge.

"I'll s-scare it off," Rem said tiredly, managing to stand before she stumbled. Subaru rushed to her side and stabilized her.

"Relax, Rem-Rem. Besides, it's a dove. Where I'm from, doves represent true love." He turned and winked at Emilia. "Maybe it's here to give us its blessing."

"You're… teasing me again."

Subaru laughed and opened the window. The bird flew in and perched on Subaru's bed, warbling softly.

"Barusu, g-get that thing out."

"Nah, I think I like it. You can get rid of it later."

"And you can –" But whatever Ram was about to say was interrupted by the sound of childlike clapping.

"Wonderful! Amazing! My best assassin has been defeated by a group of worms! This lovely lady is truly happy she came!" Sitting on Subaru's bed, in place of the dove, was a young blonde girl with ruby eyes. She bore a passing resemblance to Felt, but the cruelty in her gaze guaranteed that no one would mistake the two.

Subaru shook in fear as he mumbled. "Y-you're –"

The girl laughed, a manic gleam in her eyes. "It's so nice to meet you!" She leaped off the bed with feline grace and looked straight at Subaru. With a nauseatingly lewd smile, she declared, "This lovely lady is a Sin Archbishop of the Witch's Cult, representing Lust… Capella Emerada Lugunica. I believe you have something that rightfully belongs to me."


	9. Capella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of National Diabetes Month (November), I'd like to give a shoutout to my fiancé for her strength in dealing with Type 1 Diabetes. You're a hero in my book, and I admire you more than you'll ever know.

_'Damn it!'_

Subaru knew it was too easy; everything went according to plan with Elsa, and things _never_ work out with Elsa. Not to mention that it was his shitty Plan B because he fucked up the whole "form a contract with Beatrice and curb stomp the Bowel Bitch" thing.

Now, his luck had run out. Subaru had no real power to speak of, and his allies were exhausted. They had no chance of survival.

On the other hand, they had a vengeful demon on their side.

" _Die, Witch Cultist!"_ screamed Rem, her morning star reflecting the light of her horn. She threw it as hard as she could, but Capella dodged it with a twirl. The flail crashed into the wall, leaving a gaping hole.

"A demon! A demon!" Capella squealed in delight. "This lovely lady thought there were none left!"

"Shut up and die," Rem snarled. " _El Huma!_ "

Capella avoided the first two ice spears with a smirk, but the third one grazed her arm. The wound was superficial; it was basically a papercut and was already healing, but Capella stared at it in shock. "My… my skin," she murmured. "This lovely lady's perfect, flawless skin is ruined."

Her face twisted into something ugly, her voice steadily gaining volume with each word. "You… You _bitch!_ "

Rem wound up her morning star and prepared to throw it, but Capella was faster. She thrust out her arms, but they were no longer the arms of a human. A tentacle wrapped around Rem's throat while another ripped the morning star out of her grip. "D-die… Cultist." Blood rushed to Rem's face as her horn sparked, working overtime to keep her conscious.

_"Fura!"_   
_"El Huma!"_

Upon seeing Rem in danger, Ram and Emilia gathered what remained of their strength and attacked the appendage holding Rem. It tore off, writhing on the ground before turning into black sludge and dissipating into mist. Emilia gazed at it in triumph, and Subaru finally shook himself out of his stupor, exclaiming, "Emilia, look out!"

Emilia whipped around and threw up a _Huma_ to shield herself but was still caught by an appendage identical to the one that choked Rem. She tried to yell, but she was rapidly losing oxygen.

Capella smirked as multiple tentacles shot out of her body, ensnaring Subaru, Rem, and Ram as well. "This lovely lady is quite disappointed." She clucked her tongue as she danced up to them playfully. "You defeat my best assassin, but you can't escape a simple chokehold? How pitiful."

Emilia gripped the appendage around her throat, freezing it solid. It cracked under the pressure and Emilia gracefully dropped to the ground, immediately bolting towards Capella. A blade of ice formed in Emilia's hand, and with one swift strike, Capella's head left her body.

Subaru, Rem, and Ram dropped to the floor, gasping for breath.

Subaru coughed out, "Sh-she's… She's not –"

"I don't like killing," Emilia stated, "but I wasn't about to let her hurt my friends."

"W-wait, she's –"

"You know, I read about her," she explained. "'Emerada Lugunica, the Scorned Lover.' Apparently, nobody liked her. I can see why. The book said that they couldn't give her a funeral, though it didn't give a reason. I guess it's because she wasn't dead."

"Emilia, she's not –"

But she wasn't listening. After all, they were safe. "I still don't know why she was here, or what she thought belonged to her." She turned around and smiled softly at Subaru. "But that's okay," she soothed. "She's gone now, Subaru. We can –"

" _Watch out!"_

"Huh?" she tried to ask, but it came out as more of a squeak. Also, was she… shorter?

A giant thundered towards her. "What's going on? Help me!" she cried, but the words did not come out as intended. All she heard were the ugly screeches of a rat. Gargantuan hands gripped her, lifting her off the ground as ruby eyes filled her vision.

"How fitting," cooed an uninjured Capella. "You tried to match this lovely lady's beauty, but in the end, you revealed yourself to be merely a rat."

Emilia squirmed to no avail. She tried to call for Puck, but her necklace had fallen off during her transformation. She begged for Subaru to help her, but all that remained of him was a rat.

"No more struggling," admonished Capella. "All your friends have fallen prey to this lovely lady's Authority of Lust, and an ugly duckling like you could never hope to combat it." Ruby eyes glinted with malice. "Now, _sleep_."

An intense pressure gripped Emilia's windpipe, silencing her pleas for help. This was it, wasn't it?

She would never save the elves in Elior Forest.

She would never give Subaru his title of 'knight.'

She would never say goodbye to Puck.

She would die, not as a cursed half-elf, but as a rat.

Honestly, she didn't see the difference.

"You feel it, hmm?" Capella stroked behind Emilia's ear, showering the rat with her twisted love. "The resignation, the realization that all you're good for is this lovely lady's amusement. The whole _world_ is my plaything, and it is your _duty_ to accept – Ow!" Capella dropped Emilia as she rubbed her cheek in annoyance, her expression shifting to shock as she identified what hit her. In shock, she managed to ask, "You… There was no… How did you counteract my Authority?!"

"What can I say?" said Subaru with a shrug, as if he wasn't a rat five seconds ago. "A very powerful woman happens to be in love with me, and she likes me just the way I am."

Capella's eyes widened as she took a step back. "That smell… I knew it!" A guttural noise rumbled deep in her throat as she declared, "All love belongs to me! _Her love belongs to me!_ _Give me her love! Give me your Authority!_ "

"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all, "but I'm pretty greedy. I want that love all for myself."

She bared her fangs and lunged at him, but he pulled out a dagger and plunged it into her gut. He glared at her and leaned in until their noses were almost touching. "I want you to listen closely," he snarled. "You hurt the people I love, and I'm not as forgiving as someone like Reinhard. I am _pissed off_. I'm going to tear you limb from limb, and I _will_ save them."

 _'You hurt Meili,'_ he raged internally. _'For that alone, you deserve to die.'_

She casually pulled herself off the knife, the flesh around her wound twisting and straightening itself out until only flawless skin remained. "That's big talk for a worm," she mocked. "Don't you get it? This lovely lady _cannot_ be killed."

"Maybe not," he admitted begrudgingly, "but that just means I'll have to keep fighting you over and over again." He leaned back, narrowly avoiding a cut at his jugular, and retaliated with a stab to the shoulder. His knife hit its mark with ease; her fury was clearly dulling her reflexes. "Eventually, you'll get bored and go back to the hell you came from."

"Never!" she cried. "I will _never_ give up, not until I have her love!"

"Unfortunately, she's never going to give it to you," he growled, "you ugly bitch."

She roared in fury and instantly transformed into a tigress. It was white as snow, and every strand of fur seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. he tried to dodge the inevitable attack, but she read his movements and latched onto his leg. A mere flick of her head sent him careening towards the window, shattering the glass, and falling onto the stone below.

"Shit," he groaned. "Where're the fertilized hedges when you need them?" He took a quick inventory of his injuries.

 _'Broken ribs and glass shards in my_ _stomach,'_ he noted with a grimace. _'Just how stupid can I get?'_

Even after all this time, he still let his temper get to him. A powerless idiot like him shouldn't have called the incarnation of lust "ugly."

Subaru tried to push himself up, but a massive weight crashed into him, crushing his spine, and forming cracks in the stone under him. The roar of a gorilla reverberated through his skull, and he knew he was done.

_'Hurts… So bad… Damn it all! I was doing… so good…'_

The weight hopped off his back as Capella knelt before him in human form. She gripped Subaru's hair and slammed his head into the ground. Spots danced in his eyes as he struggled to stay conscious. "You see now, don't you?" she whispered into his ear. She pulled back and looked into his eyes as she dragged a nail down his bloodied cheek. "The Witch's love does not belong to a worm."

_'I couldn't avenge Meili...'_

She pulled out a dagger; an ornate, silver blade with a ruby-encrusted hilt. "This lovely lady has been saving this for that special person," she murmured, her hot breath sending shivers done his spine. "Someone that pisses me off more than anything else. Someone with the audacity to think they deserve love. I thought it would be that trembly green-haired freak or that bandaged piece of shit, but once Elsa told me about your Unseen Hand, I knew it was time to use it."

On the verge of tears, he helplessly thought, _'I'm sorry, Emilia…'_

Capella leaned down and nibbled on his ear as she dragged her knife across Subaru's throat. She gobbled up the blood that appeared, licking her lips as she did so.

It wasn't because she enjoyed the taste. She merely wanted to revel in her control.

The battered and bruised form of this _human_... the anticipation for the Witch's love...

It _excited_ her.

"Any last words?" she asked as she slowly, deliberately, dragged her chest across his until she sat up, straddling him with a smirk.

He shivered as disgust crawled down his spine. "Fuck you," he spat.

"So be it." She raised her knife as high as she could and plunged it into Subaru's stomach. He tried to scream but choked on blood instead. Another stab. Then another. Then another.

But Subaru held on.

Her face twisted in rage. "Just die already!" she screeched. _"Give me Satella's love!"_ She dug her knee into his gut, held her knife high once again, and aimed it at his heart. The blade pierced his skin and–

"Let's form a contract, I suppose!"

The blade ejected itself out of his chest as Capella was flung away by an unseen force.

"No!" she screeched. "You cannot have it! You cannot keep it from me! The most beautiful love! _The Witch's love! It belongs to me!_ "

"That's enough, in fact," said the newcomer as she walked towards Subaru, unimpressed with Capella's deranged ramblings.

For the first time in four centuries, Beatrice was outside the mansion.

Where Capella once stood was now a fearsome lioness. It let out a mighty roar and charged but collided with an invisible barrier. No matter what, she would be unable to penetrate it.

After all, nothing could interrupt the sacred dialogue between a spirit and her contractor.

Beatrice knelt beside Subaru and held her palms over his stomach, allowing the healing magic to flow through him.

"Bea- hk… Qh-why?" he sputtered, the blood in his throat preventing him from speaking clearly.

"Why indeed, I wonder?" she asked lowly. She gazed down at him unflinchingly. "Betty could be in the Forbidden Library, performing the sacred task my mother gave me, I suppose. However, I am here, in front of a wounded child; one that is barely clinging to life, in fact."

"S-so –" He coughed and sputtered, unable to finish his sentence.

"Quiet, I suppose," she scolded. "You must conserve your energy if you want to survive, in fact."

She hesitated as she gathered her thoughts. "Mother gave me life, I suppose. I am grateful for that, and I will never stop being grateful.

"But Betty knows… that Mother's heart was cold. I never told anyone this, but Mother didn't realize she was my Mother, in fact. I had to tell her, 'You created Betty. That makes Betty your daughter, I suppose.'"

She did everything she could to forget that moment, but that just made the memory stronger. Brokenly, she whispered, "I just wanted her to love me, I suppose."

She placed her hands on his stomach, knitting the damaged tissue back together. She carefully wrapped her mana around him, trying to make him as comfortable as possible.

Why did Mother give her such wondrous powers just to hide her away from the world?

"Betty watched over the Forbidden Library like a good daughter," she continued softly. "Betty followed the path laid out in the Gospel. Betty waited for 'That Person.' Betty did everything right, I suppose. Even when Mother stopped showing me the future, I upheld our contract, I suppose."

With a trembling heart, she said the words that she had always been afraid of saying: "I hated it, in fact."

Her shoulders shook in anguish, but she continued healing him regardless. "I hated the loneliness. I hated my contract. I existed, and that was it, in fact. I didn't feel alive until I realized I was meant to die, I suppose. I accepted it, in fact. I was content. And then… _you_ came."

She wanted to hate him. She wanted to resent him. She tried so, _so_ hard to loathe him.

But she couldn't.

He took her hand. He showed her care. He respected her as a _person_ while she lived as an object.

"Why indeed, I wonder?" she echoed herself.

This time, she wasn't asking why she came to him. She was asking why he came to _her_.

"Because you deserve better, Beako," he insisted, his wounds fully healed, "and I care about you. Does a guy need more of a reason?"

"Y-you –" What was that strange feeling in her belly? Why did her cheekbones feel strained?

"Take my hand," he whispered. "Choose me. You and I will make an _excellent_ team. I know I won't be around forever, but I'll make you so happy, you won't forget a single moment spent with me."

…Happy? Was she… allowed to be happy?

"And when I'm gone," he continued, a gleam in his eye as the fantasy played out in his mind, "I'll make sure my descendants will take care of you. You'll never be alone again, I promise. I don't want you shut inside all day; I want the world to know how amazing you are."

She was smiling. An honest, genuine smile reached her eyes. Had she ever done that before?

But still, she had to ask, "How can I know you're telling the truth, I wonder?"

He smiled gently. "You wouldn't be out here if you thought I would lie to you."

"I –" she lowered her gaze. "You are right, I suppose."

"Hey, none of that mopey stuff," he declared. He stuck a finger under her chin, lifting it up so their eyes could meet. "Rule Number One of our contract: No sadness allowed!"

She pouted. "Th-that's not how contracts work, I suppose!"

Rolling his eyes, he conceded, "Then it'll be implied. The _real_ Rule Number One is that you need to use my real name every so often."

"That is acceptable, though it's stupid," she grumbled.

"Heh, never change, Beako," he said fondly. "Now, you're the spirit, so tell me what our contract entails."

She nodded and held out a tiny hand, counting off the stipulations of their contract.

_One: Betty must sometimes use your name.  
_ _Two: You cannot contract with other spirits, be it lesser, quasi, or great.  
_ _Three: Betty must drain mana from you every day.  
_ _Four: You must assist Betty in curating the Forbidden Library.  
_ _Five: Give Betty lots of hugs and head pats._

She blinked and, realizing what she just said, backtracked rapidly. "N-no, that doesn't count! That's not one of the rules, I suppose!"

He roared with laughter. "Best. Contract. Ever." He held out his palm and said, "I accept, Beatrice."

"Why, you insolent, annoying –"

"I love you too," he said with a cheeky grin. "I'm honored to be your contractor."

She blushed and murmured, "B-Betty is a great spirit, so it's only natural, I suppose."

She gave a little jump, slapping her hand onto his as she let the mana flow through her.

It was done. Her contract with Mother was broken. Now, she would start her life as Subaru Natsuki's spirit.

But this was only the beginning. In front of them was the Sin Archbishop of Lust: an immortal foe with unimaginable power. Her contractor was inexperienced and had no magic of his own. They were outmatched.

However, she wasn't afraid. She wouldn't fall so easily. She wasn't a human, or a demon, or a half-elf.

She was a great spirit.

Hand in hand, spirit and contractor, Beatrice and "Her Person" turned to face their fate.

Subaru smirked, brimming with confidence. "Come at me, you ugly bitch."

The barrier fell, and a massive lioness bounded towards them, baring wicked-sharp teeth **.**

Together, they raised their arms and shouted, _"El Minya!"_

Forty flaming spears of crystallized mana rocketed towards Capella. She transformed into a rabbit and hopped onto one of the spears, trying to jump through them, but a point-blank _Minya_ from Subaru shot down that plan. One of her limbs was encased in a crystal and she lost her footing, crashing into the flower beds below. Where there should have been a fallen rabbit was now a hawk, soaring into the air with no sign of injury. Angling itself, it dive-bombed towards its foes at terminal velocity, talons outstretched.

However, while Capella may be able to shape-shift, she wasn't the only one with tricks up her sleeve.

Inches away from her claws, Beatrice and Subaru vanished. Unable to stop her descent, Capella crashed yet again into the ground, breaking one of her wings. Reverting to human form with no visible injuries, she screeched, "Come out, worms! This lovely lady just wants to _murder you_ , nothing special!" A single _Minya_ came from her left. She dodged it and dashed in the direction it came from, not knowing that Subaru and Beatrice were already gone.

"She's resilient, I suppose," Beatrice whispered from their spot inside the hedges.

"She is, but I have an idea," Subaru responded, just as quietly. "Problem is, if she turns into an animal at any part of my explanation, she'll be able to hear it and we're screwed."

_'Then we could use telepathy, in fact.'_

He yelped as the voice snaked through his ears. She slapped a hand over his mouth, but it was too late. Capella whipped around and grinned ferally.

 _'Damn it, warn me next time!'_ he cried. _'How was I supposed to know we could do this?'_

Beatrice growled at him before dragging her attention back to the approaching Capella, shouting, _"Ul Shamak!"_

Darkness covered the entire garden, removing all of Capella's senses. It would not hold her for long, but in the meantime, she wouldn't even feel the ground under her feet.

Turning her attention back to Subaru, she demanded, _'Quick, the plan, I suppose!'_ He rushed through his explanation as she shook her head in disbelief. ' _That's beyond stupid, I suppose.'_

 _'My best ideas always are,'_ he said proudly.

 _'It's impossible,'_ she insisted. _'Magic is not capable of anything like that, I suppose.'_

He gave a comforting smile. _'Have a little faith in me, all right?'_

She gazed at her contractor warily before nodding. It wasn't like they had much of a choice.

" _Murak,"_ she intoned, as they pushed off the ground. Utterly weightless, one wouldn't be remiss to think they were flying. Once they were level with the mansion's roof, she dispelled _Ul Shamak._

She readied an _El Minya_ but faltered, shakily asking, "What… What is that thing, I wonder?!"

At her side, Subaru began to panic. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" he yelled. "Not this one!"

Silver talons the size of benches. Black wings so long, they put a dozen ground dragons to shame. Ruby eyes that were as large as Subaru himself.

Capella was gone, and in her place was a gigantic dragon that dwarfed the mansion itself.

With a mighty roar that shook the ground it stood on, Capella released a pitch-black jet of flame, searing the very air around it. Beatrice tried to teleport away, but Subaru was quicker. " _E·M·M!"_ he shouted at the top of his lungs.

Beatrice had never heard such a nonsense incantation, but she felt the magic drain from her regardless. The stream of hellfire splashed harmlessly against her, dissipating into nothingness.

"What is this, I suppose?" she tried to ask but found herself unable to move. She tried again telepathically, this time with success.

 _'It's known as 'absolute defense_ magic,' he explained. _'It interferes with the space-time surrounding us, rendering us completely immune to all attacks. It can be used for as long as you want, but only if you have mana remaining. The only downside is that you can't move while it's active.'_

 _'That's incredible, I suppose,'_ she said with wonder in her eyes.

He could not grin, but the emotions flowing through their bond were telling. _'Well, I said to have faith in me, didn't I?'_

It was quite possibly the worst place to feel something like this, but his confidence filled Beatrice's heart with warmth.

Realizing that her flames had no effect, Capella stopped and swiped with her claws. Normally, it would shred them to pieces, but Subaru and Beatrice held firm. The talon shattered to pieces upon impact. Roaring with pain, Capella turned and set her sights on the mansion, specifically the broken window.

In a panic, he told Beatrice, _'She's going for the others! Quick!'_

" _El Shamak!"_ she shouted, deactivating E·M·M in the process.

Capella stumbled and fell to the ground, unable to control her body.

" _El Minya! El Minya! El Minya!"_

Casting repeatedly, Subaru and Beatrice sent hundreds of flaming spears at Capella, taking advantage of her downed state. Upon impact, the spears would shatter, scattering over her until her entire body was encased in crystal.

"Now, Beako!"

"Are you sure, I wonder?" she asked, wringing her hands together. "I don't know if I have the kind of power to cast this at the scale required, I suppose."

"You're a super-powered magical loli," he shot back. "If you can't do it, no one can."

Annoyed with the nonsensical description but nodding nonetheless, she readied herself. Taking a deep breath, she raised her arms high over her head. She gathered as much mana as possible; anyone else would have burned up from the sheer amount of energy surging through her.

But Beatrice wasn't "anyone else." She was a great spirit.

" _AL MINYA!"_ she cried. A single flaming spear, almost as tall as the mansion itself and doubly long, hurtled towards Capella at unimaginable speeds and skewered her through the throat. A mighty _crack_ tore through them as the sound barrier collapsed, and they were knocked out of the air by a wall of _Murak_ and teleporting to the ground, Beatrice landed gracefully on her feet.

Subaru, on the other hand, was not so lucky. He slammed face-first into the ground, tumbling over himself a few times. Then, shooting up as if he didn't just eat dirt, he grabbed Beatrice and swung her around, grinning like a loon.

"That… was… amazing!" he shouted ecstatically. "I love you, Beako! You're so damn awesome!"

Flailing her arms, she cried out, _"Put me down this instant, I suppose!"_

He laughed but obliged, turning serious as he faced the ground where Capella was a moment throughout the garden was a mess of black sludge, writhing towards a central point in a desperate attempt to reform. "All right, Beako. You know what to do."

Far past the point of questioning her contractor, Beatrice complied. It was not an existing spell, but a manifestation of her will and mastery over Yin magic.

A cage of crystallized shadow formed around the black sludge, trapping Capella inside. It hardened further and shrank until there were no spaces; nothing could get in, but more importantly, nothing could get out.

Unless, of course, your name was Capella.

"She has reformed, in fact," Beatrice stated, ignoring Capella's muffled screams of anger. "She's trying to escape, I suppose."

With determination, he responded, "Then let's finish this."

Grabbing her hand, he teleported them to a forest clearing. Taking his eyes off Capella's prison for a moment, he placed his hands on his hips and sighed wistfully. "Ah, the memories. I hate dogs because of this place. But hey, I got to see a cute ninja maid in action."

"Are you finished with your pointless ramblings, I suppose?" grouched Beatrice.

"Nah, I got another stupid idea. Guess what, Beako?" Not waiting for her answer, he announced, "I can Return by D–"

He crumpled in on himself, causing her to panic. "What happened, I suppose?! Are you okay?"

"F-focus," he grunted, clearly in pain. "D-don't worry about me – don't even look at me. I'm fine. Just finish this."

"I will yell at you later, in fact," she muttered but listened anyway. She still wasn't sure what to think of this plan, but she trusted her contractor. According to Subaru, if they did this right, _nothing_ could escape their trap.

Not even an immortal Sin Archbishop of the Witch's Cult.

Beatrice focused on the cage of shadows and gathered her power. She visualized thousands of hands covering the cage and _squeezed_.

"Yes, that's it!" cheered Subaru as the cage began shrinking in on itself. "Keep going! Whenever you think it's as small as it can get, make it smaller."

"Like this, I wonder?" she asked when it was the size of a mouse.

"Smaller," he called back.

"Now, I suppose?" she questioned when it was the size of an ant.

"N-no, much smaller!" he yelled, his voice strained from exertion. "So small, it doesn't – shit, that was close – have width, length, or height! Back off! Bad dog!"

 _'Bad dog?'_ she thought. Out loud, she asked, "What are you –"

"Just keep focusing!" he interrupted. "It needs to be a singularity!"

She was faltering now; her palms were sweating, and she could swear she smelled smoke coming off her body.

"I-I can't go anymore, in fact!" she cried.

"Yes, you can!" he yelled back. "I believe in you, Beako! You can do this! _Just keep going!_ "

With renewed vigor, she bared her teeth and pushed even more magic into the cage. Just when she thought she would burn up from the sheer amount of energy, the cage collapsed. The space around it warped and fell in on itself, and she felt the distinct sensation of being _pulled_. The grass, the trees, the air, the light… there was nothing. Everything had disappeared.

Her connection to Subaru told her that he was calling to her, but there was no sound. She felt herself drift towards the darkness –

Her senses returned to her and she gasped for breath. Subaru had teleported them to the roof of the mansion.

"Phew, that was a close one," he breathed. "I can't believe that worked."

"What w-was that, I w-wonder?" she managed to ask despite her protesting lungs.

He gently grasped her shoulders and turned her towards the direction of the forest. All she saw was darkness, and she told him as such.

"Look _around_ the darkness," he instructed.

"But there's nothing, I suppose," she pointed out. "Just… Hh. That's –"

With a whistle, he muttered, "It's amazing."

"Beautiful, in fact," she whispered. "I've never seen anything like it.

The darkness was merely the nucleus. Surrounding it was a spiral of light and gas, rapidly being sucked into the darkness. A pillar of energy shot up towards the clouds, lighting the sky above. It was captivating in a way that words could not describe. She didn't know such a combination of light and darkness, of escaping and absorbing, was possible. One thing was for sure: once you got close enough **,** nothing could escape. Not even light.

If light itself couldn't escape, neither could a Sin Archbishop.

"What is this, Subaru?" she asked. He didn't respond for some time and she glanced at him worriedly. "Is something wrong, I suppose?"

"Nothing's wrong," he said with a grin. "It's just really nice to hear you say my name."

"Why you little –"

"But honestly, I never thought I'd see this," he interrupted, patting her on the head fondly. "Enjoy it while you can. It formed from a relatively small mass, so it should disappear in a few more seconds. It's not even large enough for its pull to reach the village, but that doesn't make it any less incredible. Hell, _you're_ incredible, Beako. The power to create a phenomenon seen in the center of galaxies…" He sighed wistfully, a faraway look in his eyes. "This is absolutely nuts. You and I are the only two people to have ever seen a black hole."

"A black hole, I wonder," she whispered as if tasting the words. "I've never heard of that, in fact."

"Few people in this world have," he admitted. "Lugunica doesn't have the technology or mathematics to discover this kind of thing."

She gave him a sideways glance. "Then how do you know about it, I wonder?"

He grinned and stuck his thumb to his chest. "Well, usually, a black hole is just a star that got too big, and I'm a massive space nerd."

Rolling her eyes, she grouched, "You are an idiot, in fact."

"And you're a tsundere loli."

" _For the last time, those words don't mean anything, I suppose!"_

Subaru laughed and fell back, arms spread wide. "We did it, Beako," he whispered. "We made it past this, for real this time. Finally, we can relax. No Elsa, and definitely no Sin Archbishops. They don't exactly work together, so they might not even know about Capella's demise. We can lay low for a bit." He shot up suddenly, panic tinging his voice. "Unless there's something else? Please, I just want to sleep!"

"It's just us, I suppose. You can feel it, too, in fact. Every living being in the mansion is visible through our connection to the Forbidden Library, so we know there are no other intruders, I suppose."

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess I just wanted some reassurance. Still, this connection to the mansion is incredible. It's like I'm constantly looking at a holomap and can pinpoint everyone's exact location. I could already do something to locate those I have an emotional connection to, but this? I feel like I'm one with the mansion. It's nice to know that I can keep an eye out for my friends." A moment after he finished, e grimaced. "Speaking of my friends, Capella turned them into rats."

She jumped a bit. "What, I suppose?!" How was he not freaking out right now?

"Don't worry about it," he dismissed. "When Capella died, some of her power got transferred to me. I think I can turn the others back to normal. Even if that doesn't work out, I have a backup plan."

She looked at him wearily, as if afraid he'd go insane any moment. "Wait, you absorbed Witch Factors, I suppose? Are you sure you're compatible, in fact?"

He chuckled, a hint of self-loathing tinting his voice. "A little fact about me: I'm _extremely_ compatible with Witch Factors." Instead of elaborating, he changed the subject. "By the way, how much mana do you have left?"

"About half, I suppose." She frowned at him. "Why do you look so relieved, I wonder?"

Dismissively, he said, "Eh, it's nothing. You just have way more mana left over than I thought you would."

"That's two hundred years' worth of mana, I suppose!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, you can get it back," he said flippantly. "You still have the Forbidden Library to use as a conduit, don't you?"

"Why wouldn't I, I wonder?" she asked. Her contractor said the strangest things sometimes.

...Her contractor. Betty's Subaru. She loved the thought of that.

"Don't worry about it." He stood up and offered her his hand. "Let's go, Beako. Our friends need us. Then, when everything is said and done…

"...I have a story to tell you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beako ex machina.


	10. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for editing this fic and for her caring, nurturing personality. You're a huge inspiration for literally all the fluff in this story.

AN: Special thanks to my fiancé for editing this fic and for her caring, nurturing personality. You're a huge inspiration for literally all the fluff in this story.

Chapter 10 – Home

_The healing process was long and arduous, but it just so happened that his nurse had the best bedside manner ever. "And the best hair, eyes, face, and personality," he listed off, making a show of counting using his fingers._

_"Stop teasing me," said Satella with a huff. "I'm doing what anyone would do."_

_He flexed his arm, admiring how smooth the movement was. "Yeah, no. Most people can't build a body from scratch and sustain it with their magic, giving me_ fucking superpowers _in the process."_

_She flushed and mumbled, "W-well, if they could, then I'm sure that others would –"_

_"Stay by my side for the entire healing process and become my closest friend?" he finished for her, rolling his eyes at her modesty. "Give me a break. Why can't you accept that you're an excellent person?"_

_She refused to look at him. "You're sweet, honestly, but you're wrong. You'll see that someday."_

_"And someday, I'll prove that you're incredible," he shot back. He didn't understand why she thought she was anything but perfect._

_Her eyes drooped, and he cursed himself for putting such a look on her angelic face. "'Tis a waste of effort. Mother always said –" She stopped abruptly and shut her mouth, her teeth making an audible clicking noise._

_"What about your mother?" he asked. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch what you were saying."_

_She shook her head and plastered a smile on her face. "I said she's back from her meeting with the Vollachian king."_

_He didn't believe her, but he could recognize when someone was changing the topic. "A little rendezvous with a king, huh? She sounds important."_

_"Mhm. Countless world leaders look to Mother for her wisdom."_

_"Well, I gotta say, I'm looking forward to meeting her," he said with a grin. "Heh, if she looks anything like her daughter, she'll be an absolute knockout."_

_"I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means."_

_He rolled his eyes. "It means, 'You're beautiful, Ella.'"_

_She blinked. "Ella?"_

_"My compliment went ignored! Oh, the agony!" He placed the back of his hand on his forehead and pretended to faint, much to her confusion. "Anyway, I figured it was about time to give you a nickname to represent our budding closeness."_

" _O-oh," she mumbled, blushing slightly. Could this girl get any cuter? "'Tis… nice. I like it. Ella," she echoed as if tasting the name. Shaking her head to clear it, she got back on topic. "A-anyway, about Mother: she doesn't look like me at all."_

_He hummed and put his hand on his chin. "I see, I see. So, you take after your father?"_

_"I wouldn't know," she confessed. "I've never met him or my birth mother."_

_He sobered as he murmured, "I see… So, you're an orphan."_

_"Abandoned," she corrected, though he failed to see the difference. "My only memory of my birth parents is of their backs as they left me in an alleyway."_

_Not a single tear fell from her amethyst eyes, though the pain in them was immense. His heart broke for her. Had she been holding onto this pain for all this time? "Oh, Ella…"_

_"I was on the streets for most of my life," she explained flatly. "No one was willing to help a halfling, so I had to… Well, 'twas hard to find food in a lawful manner. I had uncontrollable magic, too, so that didn't help my situation. Wise and powerful magicians were hated, so what chance did a child have?"_

_Her eyes lost their focus as she looked somewhere behind him. "Mother – the one you'll meet – took me in when I was eleven. I was starved and on death's door, and my magic was destroying everything around me. Mother came and saved me from that, granting me food, clothes, and a home. If that wasn't enough, she taught me how to control my powers."_

_She looked at him earnestly, emphasizing every word. "I owe her so much."_

_He reached out and grasped her hand. "I understand," he told her, his voice thick with emotion._

_Her head shot up. "You do?" she asked hesitantly as if no one had ever said such words to her._

" _Not the magic part," he quickly clarified. "My world didn't have anything like that, but I know what it's like to be homeless and alone. Slept in alleyways, ate out of dumpsters, all that shit. I'd love to say that someone came and saved me, but no one did. I mean, the librarian was nice enough. She taught me how to read, and I spent most of my time learning everything I could, but it's not like she could take me in. It's expensive, you know? Even when I got older, I couldn't get a job because nobody wanted to hire a homeless person. Tried for years, but it never worked out. Eventually, I just… wished for it to be over, and found myself here."_

" _Th-that's not fair," she exclaimed as she scrunched up her long, black dress, tears forming in her eyes. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that!"_

" _Look who's talking, Ella. But hey, it's over now." He smiled at her fondly. "I have you now, and you have me."_

_She sniffed, but her eyes softened, nonetheless. "I suppose that's true," she whispered. She squeezed his hand. "Although I wish the circumstances weren't so… gruesome, I'm glad you came into my life. And…"_

" _And what?"_

" _And I now understand why you gave me a fake name," she admitted. "You want a fresh start, don't you?"_

" _I don't know what you're talking about," he stubbornly insisted._

" _Oh, please," she said, rolling her eyes. "You were silent for a long time, then slowly said 'Flugel.' It sounded like you were choosing your name instead of telling me it."_

_Flugel sighed. "Well, I'm not sure what to tell you," he admitted. "I was reading a light novel and there was a race of angels called flugels. When I first saw you, I literally thought you were an angel."_

_At her confused look, he grinned at her, cheekily saying, "What can I say? You're just that beautiful."_

_She frowned. "I'm not sure what a 'light novel' is, but I'm not beautiful," she said forcefully as if such thoughts would only hurt him._

" _Yes, you are," he insisted but dropped it for the time being. "Tell you what: I'll give you my name on two conditions. One, you're the only person that gets to know it; it'd be our little secret, and I've always wanted a codename. Two, you go on a date with me."_

_She blushed again and it looked like she was about to respond positively when a new voice broke through their touching moment. "So, this is the man I've heard so much about. How interesting."_

_Satella jumped in her seat. "Mother!" she cried. "'T-tis not what it looks like!"_

" _You make it sound so scandalous," Flugel grumbled good-naturedly. The woman – Satella's adoptive mother, apparently – could be described with two words: white and black. She had porcelain skin, snow-white hair, and a flowing black dress that covered her entire body._

" _Greetings," she said, her black eyes never leaving his prone form. "I am Echidna, the Witch of Greed. It's a pleasure to meet you."_

* * *

"Is this necessary, I wonder?" asked Beatrice, face flushed.

"Of course, it is," replied Subaru. "It's a sacred bonding technique from my homeland."

"Being carried on your shoulders is sacred, I suppose?" she deadpanned.

He shifted her into a more comfortable position. "Yup. Fathers do it with their daughters all the time."

"D-daughter?" she sputtered. "B-but I'm older than you, in fact!"

He thought for a moment before saying, "Eh, you're about two-thirds right."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it," he said dismissively as he glanced around the mansion's hallway. "Hey, so, I can teleport if I'm maintaining physical contact with you, right?"

"It's limited and uses a lot of mana, but yes, I suppose. It's easiest if we're close to the Forbidden Library. If we're far away from it, you could only travel a short distance, I suppose."

"And what about Door Crossing?" he asked hopefully. "Can I use that?"

"Only within the mansion, in fact," she answered. "You can connect any two doors, I suppose."

A grin threatened to split his face in two. "Sweet."

"Stop your perverted thoughts, in fact," she scolded. "I'll tell Emilia, I suppose."

"Have a little faith in me. I was thinking about how easy it'll be to grab a midnight snack."

She paused, as if unable to believe his gall. "You would use Betty's sacred power… for a midnight snack."

"Yeah. Is there a problem?"

"The problem is you're stupid, Subaru. Hmph!"

He laughed and turned towards the nearest door. "Today, I'm going to do what every lazy nerd can only dream of." He grabbed onto the handle and opened it dramatically. Despite being on the other side of the mansion, he entered the Knight's Quarters. "Awesome! I just fast traveled!"

She wrinkled her nose as she grouched, "It smells like dead bodies and rats, I suppose." Her eyes widened as she took in the scene. "Oh."

"'Oh' is right." He set her down as he slowly made his way past Elsa's headless body and to the cowering trio of rats.

"Don't worry, it's just me," he soothed, kneeling. "I came back as soon as I can."

Two of them stopped their shaking, but one tried to dart away. He snatched it up and held it at eye level as it squirmed.

 _'I bet a million yen that this is Ram,'_ he grumbled internally.

Reaching deep within himself, he searched for the ugly, writhing power that existed inside him. It was the same sensation as when he used Invisible Providence, so he knew exactly where to look.

He didn't find it.

Instead, he found... something else. Something pure. If anything, it felt more like Cor Leonis: it was selfless and helpful, giving and not taking. It was the Authority of Lust, but it was not Capella's Variation and Change, or even Carmilla's Faceless Bride.

He latched onto that power, marveling at the soft threads. He felt calm, content. Everything would be all right. He closed his eyes and wrapped his power around Ram, unraveling her twisted Od. Slowly, lovingly, he allowed her to show her True Face.

A gasp came from in front of him, and he opened his eyes. Ram, in human form, clutched her heart as she heaved.

"Wh-what happened?" she asked in a panic. "I can't –"

"Shh," he murmured soothingly. "It's okay. Just breathe. Everything is okay now."

A single pink eye glared at him from under her fringe as she snarled, "R-Rem. She's –"

"She's all right," he told her.

"No, she's not!" she barked. "My sister is a _rat_ right now, Barusu!"

"You were, too," he pointed out. "I saved you, didn't I?"

"But –"

He wrapped her in a hug, cutting off her protest. She yelped and pushed him away, snarling, "Get your hands off me, you filthy pervert!"

He didn't get mad or bicker. He simply sent a smile her way. "I'm glad you're okay," he said softly.

She blinked, thrown off guard by the unexpected affection. "Oh," she muttered. "Yes, I am okay." She looked like she was about to insult him again, but instead picked up one of the other rats and handed it to him wordlessly. He cradled what was undoubtedly Rem in his arms, feeling completely at peace.

The Authority of Lust was once a devastating ability. Faceless Bride enthralled someone so deeply, they forgot to breathe. Variation and Change forcibly transformed you into something you were never meant to be.

With Subaru, it was different. Under the right circumstances, he could transform a twisted being to its natural state. Such was the power of True Face, the Authority of Lust.

He held Rem tight as she collapsed into him, shaking. He whispered into her ear, telling her how glad he was that she was safe. That she was important to him. That he cared about her.

"I-I care about you too," she declared. Her eyes widened and she began to panic. "Capella! She's – where did she go? She was just here! Wh-what happened, Subaru?"

With a light chuckle, he said, "Capella won't be bothering us anymore."

She gaped at him. "You defeated a Sin Archbishop?" she asked in awe.

"Hah, I wish." He stuck a thumb towards Beatrice. "It was our favorite magical nuke that took her down."

Beatrice huffed and turned away. "My contractor is too humble, I suppose," she grumbled. "It is because of him that Capella is gone, in fact."

"Nuh-uh. All I –"

A soft hand on his arm stayed his words. You were really brave, weren't you?" whispered Rem with a blinding smile on her face. "You saved us all. You're a hero, Subaru."

Her words from another life reverberated through his mind. _"Show me how awesome you can be, Subaru!"_

He choked up, for that wasn't him, and this wasn't _her_ , and it's not, he wasn't –

Ram cleared her throat. "We should rest, Rem." Rem nodded, and the two walked out of the room, leaning on each other in exhaustion. As they reached the door, Ram gave Subaru a nod of respect, as Rem gave another brilliant smile.

 _'I won't let anything happen to you this time, Rem,'_ he vowed.

Subaru turned to the final rat, taking a deep breath to calm himself. Beatrice, sensing that he wanted to handle this one alone, went back to her library.

Lust had many aspects, and so did its Authority. Faceless Bride represented obsession with the object of one's attraction. Variation and Change represented the infinite possibilities of one's preference.

True Face represented love, and the desire to see the person underneath the mask.

He had never felt so calm, so sure of himself. Using True Face, he began to heal Emilia but soon came upon a wall. He pushed against it, but it would not budge. He tapped around like the wall was made of Jenga blocks, and eventually found a loose one. He dove through and reached Emilia's Od. With love, he gently unraveled Capella's magic.

A weeping silver bell brought him back to reality as he gathered Emilia in his arms. "You're okay, Emilia-tan," he soothed. "I'm here now."

"N-no! Watch out! She'll –" She pushed him off in a panic, then looked around the room in confusion. "Wh-what –"

"Capella's gone now," he whispered. "You're safe now."

"B-but… how?" she asked in disbelief. "She can't –"

"Can't die?" he finished for her. "Well, that's normally true…"

And so, he told her everything (excluding the parts about Satella, of course): how Capella almost killed him, how he contracted with Beatrice, how Capella turned into a dragon, and finally, about the black hole.

"You did all that?" she whispered in awe. "You really are amazing."

A shadow covered her eyes as she resumed sobbing in earnest. "A-and that whole time, I was so useless… I'm s-so sorry, Subaru," she whispered brokenly. "If I was more careful –"

He smiled as he cupped her cheek. "None of that. It's pointless to consider."

"But I failed," she insisted, I couldn't protect you. I'm… I'm pathetic."

He brushed the tears out of her eyes, asking her, "So, what are you going to do about it?"

Her eyes widened. "Wh-what?"

"If I were Puck, I would simply tell you that you're strong. And you know what? I completely agree. Just now, you defeated one of the most feared criminals in Lugunica, and you stood toe-to-toe with a Sin Archbishop. However, there's always more to the story. For all your strength, you're weak. For every success, there's a failure. As you are now, there will be situations that you can't surpass." He smiled softly and looked into her eyes, trying to convey his absolute faith in her. "So, I will ask you again. What are you going to do about it?"

For a moment, She looked like she was about to cry again, but her eyes steeled with determination. "I'll become stronger," she promised. "I will gain the power to protect those I care about."

"That's the spirit!" he exclaimed. He stood up and held out his hand. "We'll get stronger together, Emilia-tan. You'll be the best queen Lugunica's ever had, and I'll become a knight worthy of standing by your side."

A smile danced across her lips, and his breath hitched. Even as a sobbing mess, she was an angel. Like a silver bell, she whispered, "You're already worthy, you dummy." She took his offered hand and paused, looking at it strangely.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Um, yeah, it's just…" She brushed her thumb over his palm. "...you have nice hands. I'd like to hold them again."

He blushed furiously as he stammered, "Emilia-tan, you can't just say that to me, especially not with that cute face of yours!"

She tilted her head in confusion. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand. All I said is that I want to hold your hand."

"Gah! EMT, you're so damn innocent and adorable!" He took a deep breath. "You know what? I'm feeling great, and there's no time like the present, so I'm just gonna say it."

Posing in the same manner as when he first asked her name, he solemnly declared, "I like you, Emilia."

"I knew that," she said bluntly. "We're friends."

He slapped a hand to his chest and gasped as loud as he could. "Unknowingly friendzoned by Emilia-tan? Totally expected, but hurts, nonetheless." He didn't expect anything, of course, but it felt nice to get it off his chest. "I'm saying I like you as more than a friend."

She blinked. "Huh?"

He huffed in mock-annoyance. "I almost forgot how clueless you could be," he grumbled good-naturedly. "I'm saying that I like you romantically."

"B-but –"

"You're kind, selfless, strong, drop-dead gorgeous, hard-working, and fun to be around. I like you a lot, and I feel like I've known you forever. Yes, I know you're a silver-haired half-elf, and I know what that means. I'm aware of your shortcomings and I still don't care, so don't even bother using those as an excuse. I want to stand by your side, Emilia. I care about you, and I want to see you succeed. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting anything now –"

"I like you, too."

"–but I'll be patient and… wait, what?"

She covered her face in embarrassment. Blushing like a tomato, she mumbled, "D-do I have to spell it out for you? You're such a dunderhead, Subaru."

"Y-yeah, uh, w-well, people don't, uh, that word, uh –"

"I don't know what love is," she admitted, "or what it means to like someone romantically, but you've been sooo good to me. I really, _really_ like you, Subaru."

 _'This isn't real,'_ he told himself. _'There's no way this is real.'_

But it _was_ real. Emilia stood before him, saying things he didn't deserve to hear.

"I have fun talking to you," she said softly, like _she_ was the lucky one. "I miss you when you're not around. You've saved my life, and we work reeaally well together. I feel warm when I'm around you, Subaru, and I want to hold you close. I don't really know what it all means…" She peeked out at him from between her fingers. "...s-so, will you help me understand it?"

A lump formed in his throat, but he managed to force out some sounds that somewhat resembled human speech. "Uh, y-yeah, that sounds, uh, I mean, that's great! Really great! I'm gonna go, and, uh, get some sleep! Yeah, that. Very tired. You should sleep, too. Toodles!"

_'Wait, what the fuck?'_

"I mean, uh, goodbye!" He ran off, leaving a bewildered Emilia behind.

He bolted through the nearest door and entered the Forbidden Library. He spread his arms wide and adopted a shit-eating grin. _"I'm the king of the fucking world!"_ he shouted at the top of his lungs. _"This shut-in loser just got a girlfriend!"_ His smile wavered. "I think. Emilia-tan probably doesn't even know what a girlfriend is." His grin returned, wider than ever before. "Guess I'll have to teach her! Hey, Beako! Guess what?"

A sniffle reached his ears and he paused his celebrations. If Beatrice was upset, then he would hold off on gushing about Emilia. "Beatrice?" he called out. "Hey, it's me. Mind coming out?"

She appeared in front of him, holding her Gospel with tears in her eyes. Her shoulders shook as she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

He knelt to her level and held her close. He twirled his fingers around a lock of blonde hair as the other hand rubbed her back. Unlike the last time they were in this position, she welcomed his comfort. She buried her face into his chest, soaking it with her tears. He didn't mind. There was always another shirt, but there was only one Beatrice, and he'd do everything in his power to keep her happy.

"What happened?" he asked softly. She shook her head into his chest. "Do you want me to guess?"

She didn't say anything for a moment, then let out a nearly inaudible "yes."

"You're holding your Gospel, so it's something to do with Echidna." A nod. His gut twisted painfully. "There's something written in there." Fresh sobs broke through her. She didn't need to confirm anything.

"What does it say?" he asked softly. Her breath hitched, so he hastily added, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

She gripped his shoulders tight but said nothing. That was fine. Honestly, this was huge progress for her. For once, she wasn't suffering alone. It took some time, but she eventually calmed down. She pulled back and refused to look at him, saying, "Thanks, I suppose."

"Any time."

She began to walk away but stopped after a few steps. "You were right, I suppose. About everything." Before he could ask what she meant, she vanished, leaving her Gospel behind.

Recognizing the invitation for what it was, he picked it up. Echidna made him the Apostle of Greed, right? Maybe he'd be able to read the Gospel. He opened it and found words on the last page.

His hands shook as he ripped the Gospel apart in his fury. It was times like these that he remembered why he _hated_ Echidna.

In the center of the page, clear as day, were the words, _"What a fascinating choice."_

* * *

Subaru walked through what remained of the forest, deep in thought.

On the one hand, Emilia liked him. He waited over a year and was sure she felt _something_ but had no real confirmation. Here, she flat-out said she had feelings for him. He was ecstatic, of course, but confusion began to drown out the giddiness. Did a trip down memory lane really change him that much?

Would she like him if he didn't have that experience? Did she like him at all the last time around?

Pointless existentialism and girl problems aside – Seriously, couldn't he just accept that good things could happen to him? – he couldn't stop worrying about Echidna. First, he was made the Apostle of Greed, and now he was "a fascinating choice."

How much did she know? Why did he grab her attention? Was it merely because of her weird tea flowing through his veins, or was she trying to get something out of him? Was it because of his closeness to Beatrice? Did she know about his Witch Factor of Greed?

Or did she recognize him as that boy from all those years ago?

The way she looked at him on that fateful night... He shivered and pulled his jacket closer. "I wish you were here, Ella," he whispered. "We were always able to talk through this stuff."

Don't even get him _started_ on his feelings towards Satella. That would be like opening a can of worms and finding the Great Rabbit inside.

His eyes widened in horror. "Oh, god, no! Bad thought, bad thought, bad thought!"

"Whaaat's a bad thought?"

Subaru stopped short. Where there was once a forest filled with mabeasts was now a huge crater, formed in the climax of the battle against Capella.

But it was the man _beside_ the crater that made his blood run cold.

"Roswaal," he growled. "How… nice of you to show up."

"Mhm, yes, I seeee that much has transpired whiiile I was gone," Roswaal idly noted. "You wouldn't happen to have anything to dooo with it, would you?"

Sternly, Subaru said, "Drop the friendly act, Ros. We both know what you're up to."

"Oh?" said Roswaal, taking his eyes off the crater to look at Subaru.

"I survived," he declared proudly. "This loop is complete, and I'm one step closer to achieving all my dreams. You failed."

"What a faaascinating perspective," Roswaal sang. "Failed, you say?"

Subaru cast a sideways glance at Roswaal, thrown a bit off-kilter. "Well, I mean, yeah. I deviated from the Gospel, so you told Capella where I was. That way, I'd be forced to choose a different path."

Roswaal tipped his hat in respect, saying, "I must commeeend you on your deductive skills. It's a shame your conclusion was false."

A bad feeling settled in the pit of Subaru's stomach. "What do you mean?" he asked slowly.

"It is true that I called for an assassin, but that was nooot to force a restart," he confessed. "I merely intended for you to fight the Sin Archbishop of Lust. Everything you have done is according to the Gospel's writ."

"Th-then…"

Roswaal smirked. "Tell me, _Sage_. What's it like to read your own Book of the Dead?"

A chill went down Subaru's spine. "You knew," he whispered. "This whole time, you knew."

Roswaal spread his arms wide, smugly asking, "Did you haaave any doubt?"

"B-but in the Sanctuary –"

"My Gospel was destroyed," he said flippantly. "It was already written that thaaat would happen."

"Then you know about our contract!" Subaru exclaimed desperately. It ignores time and space, so it still applies, right? You can't keep following the Gospel!"

Roswaal raised his eyebrows. "Did you reeeally think I'd bind myself in a _real_ contract with such a high risk?"

Subaru's head was spinning. "Then… S-Satella. Did you know what _really_ happened to Satella?"

Roswaal said nothing.

"Answer me, you piece of shit!" Subaru yelled.

A pause. Then: "The Gospel knows all," declared Roswaal. "You haaave no secrets."

He knew. He knew _everything_.

"You bastard," Subaru snarled, shaking. "I just want to live my life, but you're going to keep playing games with it, aren't you? And for what? To revive your waifu? News flash, Ros. Echidna doesn't give a _fuck_ about you. That bitch doesn't give a fuck about anyone! Why don't you just–"

Pain.

"J-just…"

A hand tore through his chest, gripping his heart.

"Let me give you some advice, _Sage_ ," Roswaal spat.

It wasn't like the Witch of Envy's shadowy constructs. This was something physical, and it _hurt_.

"Do not insult Echidna, or I will end your life."

Subaru couldn't respond. He was too busy coughing up blood.

"I would suggeeest you rewind. You have three seconds. Three… two… one…"

Roswaal squeezed, and the world reset.

A moment later, Subaru found himself in the Forbidden Library, clutching Beatrice's Gospel in his trembling hands.

Roswaal knew Subaru's past and the forgotten future. Their contract was never valid.

Subaru was still bound to Roswaal and his Gospel.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. He was safe for now. If he laid low and didn't say anything bad about Echidna to Roswaal, he would be okay. After all, Roswaal and Subaru needed each other to achieve their goals. Neither of them could do any real harm to the other.

Well, Roswaal could always murder Subaru to place him on the "correct" path, but that was nothing new.

Still, Subaru needed to work on his anger. Despite his best efforts, he still had a few berserk buttons. It was a damn shame that Roswaal knew how to push them all.

"Luckily my save point was updated," he muttered to himself. "Guess I hit all the checkpoints. Man, can you _imagine_ redoing all of that? What a nightmare."

He needed another walk, but this time, he'd go for some non-homicidal company.

He exited the Forbidden Library and walked out into the gardens. The place was a mess. Broken fountains, fallen statues, crushed hedges… One could tell that a battle had taken place here.

"Glad I'm not a butler this time around," he said to himself. "Poor Rem, having to do this all by herself."

Then again, knowing the blue-haired demon, she'd fix it up in about a day while simultaneously giving credit to her sister. What could he say? She's just that good.

A glint of silver on the ground caught his eye. He bent down and found a beautiful silver dagger with a ruby-encrusted hilt. "Capella's knife," he realized. "It's no Guiltywhip, but it's pretty sweet, and it's not like she'll be getting any more use out of it." Posing and holding the knife high in the air, he declared, "I take this as the spoils of war! I dub thee… Excalibur!"

He lowered it with a sigh. "Nah, can't do that. Excalibur is a sword, not a dagger." He adopted the same pose as before, and proclaimed, "Then, I dub this E·M·H, translating to 'Emilia-tan is seriously a hottie!'"

"That is stupid, I suppose," said a voice to his left. "Wait, if that's what E·M·H means, then E·M·M –"

"It's another acronym that translates to 'Emilia-tan is seriously a goddess,'" he told Beatrice who huffed in annoyance. "I was looking for you. Wanted to see if you're all right."

"I'm fine, I suppose," she said dismissively.

"Yeah, no. Nobody in the history of ever says 'I'm fine' and means it."

She glared at him, but it was clear that her heart wasn't into it. "I wanted some fresh air, I suppose," she admitted. "It's only my second time outside in centuries, in fact."

He laughed, telling her, "You're more of a shut-in than I am."

"Now is not the time for jokes, I suppose!" she snapped, but a smile was stretching across her face, nonetheless.

"There we go!" he cheered. "There's the adorable Beako I know and love!"

"You are an idiot, in fact," she said flatly.

"Careful: your tsundere is showing."

Stomping her feet, she shouted, " _Why won't you tell me what that means, I wonder?"_

He chuckled and plopped down beside her, patting her head as he did so.

With a blush, she muttered, "I hope you know that I only allow this because it's in our contract, I suppose."

"Nice try," he said slyly. "Our contract says I have to give them to you, not that you have to accept it."

Her eyes widened as she stuttered, "That's not –"

"Just enjoy the love and attention your contractor is showering you with."

Resigning herself to her fate, she murmured, "F-fine, I suppose. I will allow you to continue, in fact."

They sat in companionable silence for some time before Subaru sighed. "I hate to be a downer, but there's something I have to know."

Annoyed that he stopped patting her head, she asked, "What is it, I suppose?"

"It's about your Gospel," he said carefully.

She tensed. "What about that _thing_ , I wonder?" she hissed.

He was taken aback by the venom in her voice but pressed on. "When it was still showing you the future, did it ever say anything about Satella? Specifically, about why she went mad?"

She shook her head and took a deep breath, trying to let go of her anger. "It said nothing about her that wasn't common knowledge, I suppose. It once mentioned that someone would come into the library with a fierce hatred of the Witch of Envy, but it also said that red was his favorite color, in fact."

He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "That's, uh, useful information."

"Very useful," She agreed, completely serious. "Why do you ask, I wonder?"

"No reason."

She turned to him and narrowed her eyes. "You don't ask a question about the Witch of Envy and brush it off, I suppose."

"Seriously, don't worry about it. It was for reassurance. I already knew that you wouldn't have that kind of information."

"What kind of information, I wonder?"

He sighed. "I'm not getting out of this, am I?"

"You are not, I suppose."

"That's fine, I guess. I was going to tell you anyway, and there's no time like the present." He grabbed her hand and stood up, bringing her along with him. "I know that you're not outside much – and isn't _that_ the understatement of the last four centuries – but can we go to the Forbidden Library?"

She nodded and teleported them back. "What did you want to show me, I suppose?"

"Give me a moment," he said, collecting his thoughts. "First, I want to apologize."

She tilted her head. "For what, I wonder? You've been good to Betty, I suppose."

"Gah, you're so damn cute and I want to hug you right now, but I need to remain focused." He steeled himself. "I'm sorry for not bringing you with me."

"I don't understand, in fact," she said, puzzled. Where did he go?"

"I promise, Beatrice, that I didn't know you'd be trapped here," he confessed. "I thought that, since you were physically safe, then everything was fine."

"What are you –"

"I know we didn't know each other for very long, but I cared about you," he said earnestly. "I cared so, so much. I'm sorry for leaving you behind. I'm sorry for only thinking about myself. I'll regret it for as long as I live."

"I-I don't…" she eyed him warily as she told him, "You're not making any sense, Subaru."

He looked past her, drowning in memories. "You and Puck weren't the only ones to call Echidna 'Mother,' were you?"

"How do you –" She shook her head to clear it. "I can tell you won't answer that either, I suppose. Yes, there was another, in fact."

He resumed gazing at her, so as to gauge her reaction. "And how did you feel about that person?"

Beatrice cast her eyes downward. "I liked her, I suppose," she muttered. "She was kind, in fact. She took good care of Betty, I suppose." She clenched her fists. "But then she spat upon Mo- Echidna's kindness and left, I suppose."

Raising his eyebrows, he asked, "After all you've learned, is that still how you view things?"

"I –" she took a moment to think about it. "I don't know, in fact. Betty wonders if there's more to the story."

Subaru relaxed slightly. He was past one of the biggest hurdles. "Good," he murmured in relief. "That's good."

She fixed him with a piercing look. "Now, will you tell Betty how you know these things, I wonder?"

He shook his head, saying, "One last question." She huffed but waved her hand to continue. "What did you think of the boy she was with?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Hmph. He was stubborn and irritating, I suppose. But… Betty liked him, in fact. I miss him. He reminds Betty of Subaru, I suppose."

He gave her an expectant look and she gasped. Reeling back, she shakily said, "You – You can't be, I suppose! That's not… You remember… How?"

He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry for not telling you, Beatrice. If I did, you would have forced yourself into this contract even if you didn't want to do it, and I would never want that from you."

But she was barely listening. "Not possible… You can't… Alone… So long… You left…"

The poor girl was clearly overwhelmed. Subaru wiped her tears and held her tight. "I'm sorry, Beako. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back."

"F-Fl…"

"It's okay," he coaxed. "You can say it. I know it's absolutely insane, but it's true."

Hesitantly, she asked, "…Flugel? Is that you, I wonder?"

He let out a soft smile."Yeah, it's me. I missed you, Beako."

He gripped his shirt in her tiny fists. "I'm not… alone anymore."

"Hey, none of that," he soothed, pulling back. "Even if I wasn't Flugel, or if I had no memories of my past life, I would have still become your contractor. This just let me do it sooner."

She gazed at him warily before holding up her pinky. "Promise?"

Subaru couldn't help it. He threw his head back and laughed. "You really are a kid, Beako." He locked his pinky around hers. "I promise. I care about you, and that has nothing to do with my past life. It has to do with the fact that you're incredible in every way."

She searched his eyes, looking for any sign of deceit. Finding none, she smiled. "I have so many questions, I suppose," she told him.

"And I have all the time in the world to answer them," he responded with a matching grin. "I want to tell Emilia as well, so I won't answer _everything_ now, but I'm sure I can address the elephant in the room."

"What's an elephant, I wonder?"

He raised an eyebrow and teased, "That's your question? Seriously?"

"No, I suppose!" she snapped, stomping her feet.

He ruffled her hair, ignoring her shriek of protest. "I'm screwing with you," he said fondly. "You want to know about Satella, don't you?"

She nodded meekly. Adorable.

"I'll explain everything in time," he promised, "but what you need to know is that the calamity is _not her fault_. It's mine."

Her eyes widened and she took a step back. In awe, or perhaps fear, she asked, "Are you saying you destroyed half the world, I suppose?"

"Hell, no!" he said quickly. "Even back then, I didn't have that kind of power."

Confounded, she asked, "Then who caused the calamity, I wonder?"

"Satella," he said slowly like he was explaining it to a child.

"That makes no sense, in fact," she deadpanned. "You say it's not her fault, but also that she destroyed half the world."

"I did."

"Then –"

He cut her off, saying, "What happens when someone takes in incompatible Witch Factors?"

Beatrice opened her mouth but was unable to find the words.

"It's really that simple," he admitted. "She took in the Witch Factors of Envy, but she was the most selfless person I've ever met. She always felt like she owed others, and genuinely believed she deserved nothing. Because of this, the Witch Factors created a split personality, one with no regard for others. With her already being as powerful as she was –"

"The world didn't stand a chance, in fact," Beatrice whispered. "Why don't more people know about this?"

"Their homes were burned, and their families were slaughtered," he pointed out. "People of mixed blood were already hated, and magic was demonized. Do you honestly think the public would have listened if I told them the truth?"

"I suppose not," she relented, eyes downcast. It was clear to him that she was filled to the brim with questions, but they both knew that no answers would be forthcoming until he could tell Emilia as well.

"Cheer up," he said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I said I wanted to show you something, right? Come with me."

He grabbed her hand and lead her towards the back of the library, stopping at one of the desks. He picked up the stack of notes on it and chuckled. "I'm kind of surprised you didn't ask me what I was researching."

Knowingly, she asked, "Would you have told me, I wonder?"

"Nope," he said cheekily. "That's why it's written in my home language." They stopped at one of the shelves and Beatrice looked at him in askance.

"I would have loved to do this earlier, but it requires mana. It's kinda-sorta impossible to use that with a broken gate and all." He pulled out a nondescript book with a black cover and stuck his finger into the wood behind it. Channeling mana through his connection with Beatrice, he whispered the passphrase that he created centuries ago – one that was keyed specifically to his gate and included a name that had never been associated with the Sage.

"Subaru, Satella, and Shaula."

The wall to their right dissolved into nothingness and Beatrice gasped. "I thought the Forbidden Library had no more secrets, I suppose."

With a wry grin, he pointed out, "It wouldn't be much of a secret if you knew there was one."

Inside was a massive bedroom that connected to a suite of rooms, including a washroom and a study. It matched the aesthetic of the Forbidden Library perfectly.

Not a single mirror. Exactly how he liked it.

Subaru put his hands on his hips and let out a wistful sigh. "Home sweet home."

"To think, this whole time, you were in the mansion, in fact. You, and…" She trailed off, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Satella," he said simply.

"Yes, I suppose." She furrowed her eyebrows at him as she said, "You are horrible at hiding places, in fact. Hiding from Echidna in her own mansion?"

"To be fair, it's not like she was going to leave the Sanctuary at that point, so it was less hiding and more 'Haha, you can't get me.' Plus, we traveled a lot. This was just our hub world."

Drily, she said, "I don't know what those words mean, I suppose."

"Don't worry, Beako," he assured her. "I'll teach you all my Subaru-isms, and soon, you'll be talking just like me."

"That's horrifying, in fact," she deadpanned.

"Perhaps." He walked around the room, lovingly dragging his hand across the wood furniture. "I miss Satella, you know **.** I always felt this… this _pull_ towards her. It was freaky as hell. It's weird enough being in love with someone you've never met, but for that person to be the _Witch of Envy_? It made sense when I got the memories of my past self, but it was definitely a mindfuck."

She nodded sagely. "I can only imagine, I suppose."

He stopped by a small bookcase and pulled out a notebook. "We were researching soul magic," he reminisced. "I was given a hasty solution to our problem, but that just made things worse. After she was sealed away, I pivoted to researching Witch Factors and removing them, but I ran out of time."

He jerked his thumb towards the library. "That's what I was doing out there. I was continuing my research.

"I made a huge breakthrough when I gained the Authority of Lust, but there's still more to do. You've been in here for hundreds of years, Beatrice. You've read most, if not all these books. Will you help me continue my research?"

She nodded solemnly. "Of course, in fact. Where you go, Betty goes, I suppose."

His eyes hardened. "Be careful when you say that. I'm about to ask you something else, and it's a lot harder than a research project; not to mention the sheer amount of ethical implications involved."

She gazed back unflinchingly. "You gave Betty's life meaning. Betty will _happily_ follow you."

A wry grin crossed his features. "You might regret that in about five seconds."

_'Moment of truth, Subaru. You got this.'_

He took a deep breath and told her, "I want to free Satella and remove her Witch Factors. Will you help me?"

She crossed her arms, annoyed. "Must I repeat myself, I suppose?"

Times like these reminded Subaru of why he adored her.

He gave her a fond smile. "I guess not." He fell back on the bed, finally letting himself relax. "Phew, that felt good! I've been holding that in for a long-ass time."

He wasn't alone anymore.

Soon, he'd tell Emilia and Beatrice everything he possibly could. He'd been waiting for this since he came back to zero, and he'd be damned if he left anything out.

The truth of their existence would hurt them. He knew that. He'd help them through it, and he'd show them that they're worth more than the circumstances of their birth.

And maybe, just maybe, he could get a happy ending.

"Four," he mumbled to himself. "Three keys left."

_'I'm coming for you, Ella. I will save you.'_

A smile lit up his face as he drifted off to sleep.

_'I love you.'_


	11. The Witch of Frost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for dealing with the sappy shit I force her to edit.

"Subaru."

"Mm…"

"Wake up, Subaru."

"Oh, Emilia-tan, that feels so good…"

" _Subaru Natsuki, wake up this instant!"_

"Gah!" Subaru shot out of bed, glaring at the angry cat spirit floating in front of him. "Geez, Puck. I'm normally a morning person, but I haven't slept in…" He made a show of counting off on his fingers. "...too many nights."

Puck crossed his arms, unrepentant. "I have no problems with that if it keeps you from having lewd dreams about Lia."

"Look, man. I just absorbed the Witch Factors of Lust, and I'll need a few days to settle down. Don't blame me for fantasizing about your gorgeous daughter."

"Why, you little –" Puck blinked. Then blinked again. "Wait a minute, _Witch Factors?_ "

"Huh? Didn't Emilia tell you what happened?"

Puck rubbed the back of his neck. "That's the thing. She's… not doing so well."

Subaru jumped out of bed and headed for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" asked Puck, thrown off by the abrupt action.

"If Emilia's not well, then I'll fix it," her knight said. "Simple as that."

Puck grimaced. "I shudder to think about what that means after your little display."

Subaru glared at Puck. "I'd never take advantage of Emilia like that. I can't promise that I won't make comments here or there, but I swear that I'd never hurt her."

Puck searched Subaru's eyes. "You're not lying."

"Great," Subaru drawled. "Glad you approve. Let's go." Subaru threw open the door and entered Emilia's room.

"…Huh. Betty did refer to you as her contractor when she told me where to find you, but I didn't think you'd be able to use Door Crossing. I'm not sure how to think about your easy access to Lia's room." Puck raised an eyebrow, asking, "Are you _sure_ you're not going to try anything risqué?"

"I wish," Subaru mumbled. Noticing Emilia lying on the bed, Subaru asked Puck, "You sure something's wrong with her? You should know better than anyone that she's terrible at waking up."

"This is different," he said, shaking his head. "She's awake, but in shock. It's like she had a bad dream, but no dream has ever affected her this bad."

Subaru looked at Puck strangely. "Uh, Puck? I'd love more than anything to be the knight in shining armor that saves her from her woes, but why me? She has you to help her through anything."

"Clearly, I'm not enough," Puck responded morosely, "You're my only other option, and… I think she likes you. In, uh, that way."

Subaru turned back towards Emilia. "Yeah," he breathed. "She does."

Honestly, that was the craziest thing that's happened to him so far.

Subaru sat on the edge of the bed. Emilia's eyes were wide open, but it was obvious to anyone looking at her that she wasn't _here_.

"Hey, Emilia-tan," he whispered, brushing a stray hair out of her face. Damn, she was gorgeous.

 _'Bad Subaru,'_ he berated. _'Focus.'_

He took a deep breath. "Want to tell me what's going on?" No response. He had half a mind to pull some stupid pose and make light of the situation, but he'd learned long ago that there was a time and a place for everything.

"You can sit here and mope," he said softly, "but it won't drive me away. I'm not going anywhere, Emilia. After all, we promised to get stronger. So, whatever's bothering you, let's face it together."

A mumble. He leaned in closer until his ear was right by her lips.

"Just die."

He jumped a bit but instantly resumed his position. He needed to make sure he heard right.

"Just die. Just die. Just die. Just die."

He cursed. Puck flew over, worried. "What is it?" asked the spirit. "Did she say something?"

Subaru didn't respond. He was too busy thinking about Emilia's trial.

About Father Juice and Mother Fortuna. About Regulus and his assault. About the Witch of Frost and the freezing of Elior Forest. Those were all supposed to be locked away in her memories.

However, right now, Emilia was remembering Pandora. Subaru's blood boiled at the mere thought of that monster, but he squashed it down. What mattered right now was Emilia.

"You were right to get me, Puck," he said at length. "This is something only I can do."

"I'm not sure whether to feel relieved or hurt," Puck grumbled.

"Neither. She's remembering her past and has gone into shock as a result."

Puck eyed the knight-to-be warily. "How can you tell?"

Subaru briefly explained the events of the previous night and how he used True Face, the Authority of Lust, to try and transform her back. "But there was this wall of sorts. I had to break some of it to fix her. Looking back, I think it may have been a memory block. I can use True Face to remove the rest and help her through it, but –"

"Put it back," Puck growled.

Subaru whipped around to face Puck. "Put it back… what the hell are you talking about?"

"What do you think?" Puck asked angrily. "I'm telling you to put the memory block back."

"Are you insane?" Subaru asked incredulously. "These are uncharted waters. Who knows what that could do to her psyche?"

"Whatever it is, it's better than this," Puck shot back. "This isn't my daughter. This is a vegetable."

"Don't say that," Subaru snarled. "Don't you _ever_ talk about Emilia like that. You have no idea what this poor girl's been through."

"And you do?" Puck challenged.

"Yes, I do! I know all of it! I know every damn thing that she's seeing right now!"

Puck's aura flared, and Subaru realized he was treading dangerous waters. "How do you know that, Subaru?" Puck asked lowly. "Answer carefully."

Subaru took a deep breath; being heated would only get him killed. Keeping his tone even, he said, "Use your empathy, Puck. You'll see that I'm not lying."

"I know you're not," Puck said ruefully. "That's why I'm asking you _how_ you know. Since the beginning, you've known things you shouldn't. Lia may be willing to overlook it, but I'm not."

"Puck, wait –"

"So, I will ask you one more time." With his aura increasing ten-fold, Puck asked, " _How do you know what Lia's seeing?_ "

Subaru hesitated. If he told Puck, the Witch would kill him. If he lied, Puck would kill him. So, there was only one answer.

The one he always gave. The one he hated to give.

"I can't tell you."

A razor-sharp icicle formed at Subaru's throat. "Then answer me this," Puck demanded, his voice echoing around the room in a manner that was all too familiar. "Who are you, really?"

He was Subaru Natsuki, who died dozens of times to save the ones he loved.

He was Flugel the Sage, who used his incredible power to seal the Witch of Envy.

Right now, neither of those mattered.

"I'm Emilia's one and only knight," he proclaimed. "I want what's best for her, just like you do."

The icicle didn't move.

Well aware of how close to death he was but desperate to help Emilia nonetheless, Subaru pleaded, "Listen, Puck. This won't go away. Even if the memory block was successfully put back, it will just come to haunt her later, and this," he gestured to Emilia's prone form, "will be even worse."

The intense pressure in the room decreased slightly, but the icicle held firm. "You don't know Lia," Puck insisted. "She's innocent and delicate. She's not ready for this."

"She _is_ ready," Subaru shot back. "What she needs right now is for someone to help her through her trauma."

"You have no idea what my daughter needs!" yelled Puck. "She's too young! She needs someone to shield her from –"

"Emilia killed someone last night."

Puck wavered. "Wh-what?"

"What, you thought I killed Elsa?" Subaru chuckled disparagingly. "Please, I can't do shit by myself. Emilia lopped off Elsa's head and gave a badass one-liner."

Puck reeled back; the mere _idea_ that his daughter was capable of such a thing shook him to the core. "B-but she –"

"The same thing happened against Capella," Subaru continued. "If not for her ability to regenerate, that would have been it."

"S-shut up," Puck said desperately as if hoping that would undo Emilia's actions.

"Emilia's not a child, anymore. It's time to stop coddling her. Let her be the strong, incredible woman she's meant to be."

 _"I said shut up!"_ Puck's cry reverberated throughout the room, but the crystal at Subaru's throat had disappeared.

Subaru's eyes softened as he realized that the danger had passed. "I know this is hard, Puck," he soothed.

"You know nothing," Puck said scathingly.

Knowingly, Subaru told him, "I know that you feel powerless and you want Emilia to be the same little girl that you vowed to protect. I know that what's even worse is that you're no longer her primary source of comfort and that you're handing that role off to a boy she has a crush on."

Puck backed away from Subaru, looking resigned. "Maybe… you do know something," he conceded.

Subaru let a smile dance upon his lips. "Hey, remember this moment fondly," he said lightly. "One day, I'll be coming to you complaining about some boy taking away _my_ daughter."

"Don't even say that!" yelled a wide-eyed Puck. "Too soon, too soon!"

Subaru chuckled. "All right, _grandpa_ , he teased. "I won't talk about my black-haired, amethyst-eyed children."

Puck groaned in pain. "You're the worst, Subaru."

"In other words, we're good?"

At length, Puck said, "Yeah. We're good. I won't stop you from removing the memory block." He glared as he gave a final warning. "But none of… of… _that stuff_ until marriage."

Subaru gasped dramatically. "Wait, I have your blessing to marry Emilia-tan?" he asked with a barely concealed grin. "Sweet!"

"That's not… ugh! I'm going to go visit Betty." He flew away, but not before giving one last warning. "If you do… whatever it is you're going to do and she's in an even worse state –"

"Then you can kill me."

Puck paused at the look in Subaru's eyes. "You actually mean that. That's… kind of worrisome. You know I wasn't joking, right? This isn't an 'oh, I'll go kill that boy who's getting close to my daughter' kind of thing. If she gets hurt by this, you _will_ die."

Subaru nodded. "If I fuck this up, or if I _ever_ hurt her, then I'll be waiting with open arms. However, that moment won't come. I'm going to save her." He shot a thumbs-up at Puck, saying, "You can count on it!"

Not waiting for a response, Subaru turned to the catatonic Emilia and activated True Face.

A sense of peace overcame him, and the world around him fell away. All that was left was the gentle tendrils of his Authority and the beautiful, amazing woman in front of him. He reached out and found the wall that was blocking her memory. Brick-by-brick, he gently convinced each piece to fade away. Within the last brick was a snow globe. He had seen one before, sure, but none were quite as captivating as this.

Taking a deep breath, he plunged. He found himself in a world of white, ravaged by a never-ending blizzard.

A world destroyed by the Witch of Frost.

Gentle sobbing reached his ears, and he walked forward at a steady pace. There was no rush, no hurry. Only peace remained.

In front of him was the one who brought this place to ruin. The one who, in her rage, doomed the forest's inhabitants to a state that was not quite death, but far from living. He kneeled before her and stroked her cheek with one hand, the other wiping away her tears.

"Say, let's talk, Emilia-tan."

* * *

_Just die._

What was happening? Why did Mother Fortuna look like that? Why was Father Juice acting so scary?

_Just die._

There's so much blood. It wouldn't come off. Why was it snowing? Why was Mother's skin so cold?

_Just die._

Juice wasn't himself. Something happened because of that white-haired man. What was that black sludge?

_Just die._

She didn't understand. Where was she? Mother… why wasn't Mother breathing?

_Just die._

This wasn't right. Something was missing. This wasn't real, right? It's just a bad dream. This wasn't her fault.

_Just die._

A voice pierced through her tumultuous thoughts, distracting her from the cold.

"Say, let's talk, Emilia-tan."

It was a familiar male voice, but she didn't know it, did she? It was not Father Juice, or Archi, or any of the other elves. Who was it?

"It's okay now," he soothed. "Your knight is here. We'll get through this together."

Her knight? A worthless being like her had a knight?

Why did she feel so warm when she was covered in snow?

"I've never used the Authority of Greed like this," he admitted sheepishly, "but I might be able to take on some of your emotional burden. It won't remove the pain, but it will help you process it better."

Authority? What –

Her senses returned to her, sending her reeling. She collapsed face-first into the snow, only to be gathered up in familiar arms.

"I got you," he whispered into her ear.

"Subaru?" she asked shakily, desperately hoping that it was him. "Is that you?"

With a fond smile, he said, "Yeah, it's me."

"What's going on? Where are we? Why is it snowing? Where's Mother Fortuna?"

"Just take a deep breath," he instructed gently. "What's the last thing you remember?"

She thought as hard as she could. "I was in the Princess Room," she said slowly. She blinked as she realized, "I don't… I don't know what that is. Maybe… I was having lunch with Mother Fortuna? Wait, I don't – I've never met my mother!"

Thoroughly shaken, she turned to him and whispered, "I'm scared… I don't understand what's happening."

She was on the verge of hyperventilating, but he remained calm. "You're in shock right now," he explained. "Why don't I jog your memory?"

It took some time, but eventually, he managed to catch her up to speed, including what he discovered about her memory block.

"I see," she mumbled. "Yes, I do remember a bit of that, I think. I'm sorry… I'm all jumbled up right now."

With a grin, he teased, "No one says 'jumbled' anymore, Emilia-tan."

"They should," she shot back. "It's a useful word."

He smiled at her. "That's my Emilia-tan. You're so silly."

 _Your Emilia-tan,_ she mouthed. She shot a glare at him. "You dummy, you forgot what happened afterward!"

He chuckled. "Look who's talking. And hey, I would never forget that. I just didn't want to overwhelm you even more than I already was."

"And you didn't think that it might make me feel _better_?" she asked incredulously. "Don't you realize how _happy_ you made me?"

He looked shocked, and a moment later, he disappeared.

Cold. Cold. Cold. What's happening?

_Just die._

The key. She had the key. All she had to do was open the door. But Mother… Mother was hurt…

_Just die._

She gasped as her senses returned to her once again.

"I'm sorry, Emilia," Subaru said quietly, appearing in front of her once again. "This place… It's not exactly _real_ , so I'm not really _here,_ if that makes sense."

"Y-you left," she cried, still disoriented. "Wh-where… why?"

"I didn't mean to," he responded. "From what I can tell, True Face puts me in a sort of trance. I feel nothing but peace and love. I'm basically a hippie."

"A-a what?"

"Don't worry about it," he waved off. "The point is, you surprised me, so I was knocked out of my trance."

"I don't understand. You were _surprised_ that I wanted to remember you like me?" He nodded and she huffed. "Well, it made me reeaally happy, and don't you forget it. We're going to work on that self-esteem of yours, mister."

With a cheeky grin, he told her, "Hey, Pot? This is Kettle. I just wanted to tell you that you're black."

"I don't know what that means, but it disappoints me to know that it's probably stupid." She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. "It's sooo cold… can we, um, get out of here?"

He shook his head. "I've experienced something like this before," he confessed. "To leave, you have to overcome your past or fail."

She looked away as she bitterly muttered, "In other words, you're going to sit here and watch me fail."

He put his finger under her chin, gently guiding her to look into his eyes. "None of that defeatist attitude," he said softly. "You're stronger than you believe. You just need to unlock that strength."

Warmth flooded her but she shoved it down. "You don't know that!" she cried. "All I've ever done is fail! I'm always relying on others, and I've never done anything for myself! You're… you're putting your faith in the wrong person!"

She wanted him to yell at her, tell her that she was horrible, but he simply looked at her with the same serene smile. At length, he said, "You know, one of my favorite things to do is prove people wrong when they have no faith."

"Y-yeah," she muttered before perking up. She was glad he understood. "Yeah, exactly! So –"

"So, I'm going to stand right here and prove you wrong. You're going to take this trial, and you're going to come out on top."

For a moment, she stared at him, then immediately broke down laughing. As her giggles died down, she said, "You're… you're so –"

"Amazing?" he interrupted. "Hilarious? Charming?"

"Subaru!" she exclaimed.

"What?"

"No, I mean, like, you're so _Subaru_ ," she said emphatically.

"My name is an adjective?" he asked, amused. "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"

With a blinding smile, she said, "A reeaally good thing." She held out her hand and he took. "Come on, my Subaru. I'm going to kick this trial in the tooshie."

"Okay, seriously, _nobody_ says that anymore."

She was filled with his warmth, and the snow melted.

Subaru took in the scenery for a moment before his eyes landed on a small figure. "Is that…"

"It's me," Emilia confirmed. "I was… maybe six-years-old?"

He gave a massive grin. "Emilia-tan, you are officially the cutest loli to have ever existed."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means."

Then, a newcomer entered the room, and Emilia became much more serious. "So that's my mother," she whispered. "I... remember her. She's beautiful."

"I thought she was your aunt," he said in confusion. "I mean, you just called her 'Aunt Fortuna.'"

She nodded before thinking better of it and shaking her head. "A mother is someone who holds you when you're scared, kisses you when you're sad, and loves you no matter what." With determination, she insisted, "Mother Fortuna is not my aunt."

He squeezed her hand, and that strange warmth flooded through her again.

"The way we're seeing this is so odd," he mused as Young Emilia was locked in the Princess Room yet again. "It's literally through your eyes, but we're right _behind_ those eyes. It's like watching someone else's recording of a VR simulation."

"I don't know what that is, but I don't see the problem with how we're viewing my _memory,_ " she pointed out. "It's disorienting, yes, but what did you expect?"

He rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious. "I _expected_ a third-person perspective where we could walk around and view events happening, even if you weren't there."

"Dummy."

They watched as the spirits led Young Emilia out of the Princess Room. When Mother Fortuna referred to the hooded man by name, Subaru vanished.

Cold. Blood everywhere. The key.

_Just die._

She needed to open the door. She…

…No.

She was stronger than this. She was _better_ than this.

Her senses returned to her, but Subaru was not there.

As Young Emilia scrambled back into the Princess Room, Subaru appeared next to her. "You're okay," he noted, utterly calm.

"Mhm. I am," she said, surprised at her own honesty. "A bit shaky, but I'm okay." She cast him a sideways glance. "What, um, 'knocked you out of your trance' this time?"

"Surprise again," he admitted. "I had my suspicions about Geuse, but to actually see him startled me."

"Suspicions about Juice?" she asked surprised. "You knew him?"

He laughed at her and she scowled. "What is it? Don't tease me! You know something, don't you?" she accused.

"Sort of," he evaded. "I promise to tell you everything I know when this is over."

She sighed and grabbed his hand once again, knowing she'd get nowhere by prying.

"It's just… 'Juice'?" he asked with suppressed laughter. "Seriously?"

"Huh?"

"Seems like EMT needs to see the ENT for that hearing loss. His name is 'Geuse,'" he corrected.

"O-oh," she muttered with a blush. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," he said, waving her off. "Hey, check it out! 'Juice' is flirting with your mom!"

"What?! No, he's not!" Her eyes widened as she took in the scene before her. "He is... He's flirting with my mom! Hey, creepy old guy!" she yelled. "That's my mom! I won't have you cavorting about with her!"

"No one says that in this day and age."

"Yes, they do!"

"Nope. And for the record, you were mumbling about 'Father Juice' when I found you."

Emilia's eyes widened as Young Emilia glared at Geuse with childlike hatred. Could things get any worse?

They got worse. Much worse.

Emilia let go of her short-lived distaste for Geuse a bit earlier than Young Emilia did. He was an odd fellow, but charming in a way, too. Slowly but surely, she found herself cheering him on whenever he made Mother Fortuna blush and felt frustrated when he maintained his obliviousness.

Subaru called it 'shipping.' Emilia didn't understand.

She assumed it meant getting attached to people because not long after, she felt her heart split in two.

* * *

She was scared. Confused. Angry.

Devastated.

When the white-haired man and silver-haired woman – Regulus and Pandora, she vaguely recalled – appeared, Subaru vanished. He'd pop in and out, but the rapid usage of his Authority was taking a toll on both their psyches.

When Father Juice said the words, "I'm sorry, Master Flugel," and absorbed the writhing black stuff, Subaru left.

He didn't come back.

Emilia didn't blame him. She couldn't feel peace and love when watching her father figure go insane. She couldn't feel happy watching her mother bleed to death. The sights in front of her assaulted her mind, tormenting her and demanding she gives up.

 _'It's because of you,'_ they said. _'They're dead because of you.'_

Maybe that was true. A week ago, she would have caved and left it at that.

But this wasn't a week ago. This was now, and she had made a promise to become stronger. So, she looked beyond.

She saw the looks on her parents' faces. She saw their love and determination to protect those they cared about. She heard Father Geuse cry out her name. She felt Mother Fortuna wrap her arms around Young Emilia and apologize.

Regulus and Pandora were here because of Young Emilia. She didn't know why, but they were. There was so much she didn't understand about what was happening.

What she knew for sure is that her mother and father died on their own terms.

It saddened her, but she could accept it.

* * *

"Just die."

It was no longer a whisper, tormenting her when the memory world began to suffocate her. Now, it came from her lips in tandem with her younger self.

"Just die."

For the first time, Emilia knew hatred.

_'Pandora.'_

* * *

The Witch of Frost. How fitting.

"I swear, I will save you."

Emilia closed her eyes and the world of her memories fell away.

She opened her eyes in the real world, a mess of emotions.

She had a family. Her family was gone.

And right beside her was her beloved knight, bawling into the sheets.

She didn't know what was wrong, but she knew what to do. She had read in an old journal that a source of comfort for a romantic interest was a lap pillow. Surely, that was the least she could do after everything Subaru had done for her.

His hair tickled her thighs, but his cries had eased somewhat. "It's okay," she whispered. "I'm here now."

"I'm sorry," he responded brokenly.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," she soothed.

"I-I left you in there," he protested.

She stroked his hair, saying, "I was fine because you helped me."

"Bullshit," he growled. "I was no help at all. I put you there."

"You gave me the strength to keep fighting." She smiled fondly at him. "I'm here now because of you."

"S-stop –"

"I care about you, Subaru. You make me a better person. I just wish I could help you like you help me."

"Cut the crap," he shouted, shooting up into a sitting position. "I left you there for four hundred years! I'm such a –"

"Shh…" She gently pulled him down back into her lap, stroking his hair as she did so. "Just relax, okay? You're confused after using your power so much."

He blinked a few times, his tears slowing down to a crawl. "Y-yeah," he mumbled. "Silly me. Can I, uh, stay like this for a little longer?"

"Of course. Stay as long as you need. I'm here for you, Subaru."

He smiled at her, and she swore her heart skipped a beat. Did this man have any idea of the effect he had on her? "You really are amazing," he said softly, "you know that?"

Fondly, she told him, "That's sweet of you, but I think you're much more amazing."

"Heh, you're just obligated to say that." He yawned, the emotional exhaustion getting to him. Honestly, wasn't she the one who just faced her past? Her knight could be such a dummy sometimes. "I'm… gonna nap for a bit…"

"That's okay. I'll be right here."

He leaned into her touch as he mumbled, "Thanks for everything, Ella."

Emilia's breath hitched. That name…

 _"Are you sure your name isn't Ella?"_ Reinhard had asked her after viewing Subaru's memories, and now Subaru confused her with "Ella." Did they… look similar?

She hoped her thoughts were going in the wrong direction.

Emilia was said to be the spitting image of the Witch of Envy. Subaru briefly thought she was "Ella."

He was intimately familiar with the inner workings of the Witch's Cult. He hated the Cult.

He had the power of the Witches of old.

"Subaru." She brushed her thumb across his cheek, coaxing his eyes open. "I need to ask you something."

"Huh? Wassup?"

She could never hate him. She knew that. She adored her knight, and that wouldn't ever change.

He was important to her. He made her feel warm.

But she was starting to question if she really knew the man in front of her.

"Subaru… who is Ella?"


	12. Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "She walks a road paved with corpses, designating countless lives as sacrifices, all for the sake of grasping her greatest aspiration." (Arc 6 Chapter 30)  
> Special thanks to my fiancé for editing this, even if her response to every event in this fic is, "Wait, that's not canon!"

_Flugel's entire body trembled as he focused on the insurmountable task in front of him. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he held his hands out, palm up, as he tried to do the impossible._

_"That's it," Satella whispered as she circled around him. "Visualize your will. Let the mana flow through your gate and into the world around you."_

_He was trying, he really was, but it was nigh-impossible when she was so_ close _to him. Her fingers danced upon his arms, her warm breath tickled his neck, and her words thundered through his head, tantalizing him._

_She was well-aware of the effect she had on him, and she took full advantage of it._

_With a heaving sigh, he let the energy dissipate. "I've always thought of myself as a master of visualization, but this whole 'gate' thing is a bit out of my grasp."_

_As if realizing that he was using his gate as an excuse, she giggled and hid a smile behind her hand. "Don't worry," she soothed, ignoring his withering glare. "You'll get it."_

_Neither of them had been on a date before._ _He let her decide what they would do, thinking that she'd choose something like a nice dinner or a walk in the flower fields._

_She decided to give him magic lessons._

_Best. Date. Ever._

_"You sure I don't need an incantation?" Flugel asked for the umpteenth time. "You know, 'Wingardium Leviosa,' swish and flick your wand and all that."_

_"I don't know what any of that means," she admitted, "but you're using my brand of magic, not anyone else's. I don't require an incantation, and neither do you."_

_He shot her a grin. "In other words, I was right to say you're awesome and one of a kind."_

_She faltered under his adoring gaze. "I-I'm not –"_

" _Just say thanks, Ella."_

"… _Thank you," she finally mumbled in a small voice. Adorable._

_It took some time, but Flugel eventually managed to conjure a small ball of water._

" _Yes, that's it!" Satella exclaimed, clapping a bit. "Your first controlled spell!"_

" _And with that, I violated the Law of Conservation of Energy. I might need a moment to process this." He paused. "Nope, still can't process it. The universe can collapse in on itself now."_

" _One day, I'm going to get you to explain what all those funny phrases mean."_

" _Kinda pointless," he grumbled. "They mean nothing in this world."_

" _That's right… I sometimes forget you're from another world." She sighed wistfully. "'Tis incredible to even think about."_

" _Tell me about it."_

" _I'd love to visit your world. It sounds so fascinating from what little you've told me."_

" _I didn't mean it literally, but you're cute, so it's okay."_

_Satella blushed, and Flugel considered that a win. She ambled over and looked at him expectantly._

" _What? Is there something on my face?"_

" _No, silly. We went on a date."_

" _That we did. Can we go on another?"_

_She rolled her eyes. Exasperated, she reminded him, "You're supposed to tell me your real name."_

_He gave an exaggerated sigh. "I was kinda-sorta hoping you'd forget."_

" _You dummy. I'd never forget something like that. I want to get to know you better."_

_He blushed bright red. "Y-you can't just say stuff like that to a guy!"_

_She tilted her head, confused. "Say what? All I said is I want to get to know you better."_

" _Yes, but..." He waved his arms around frantically, trying to get his point across. "...that's the kind of thing that you ask someone when you want to be in a romantic relationship with them."_

" _I know."_

_He looked at her, shocked. "You do?"_

" _Of course," she said bluntly. "Do you think I'm oblivious or something?"_

" _I-I mean, uh…"_

_He may be a relentless flirt, but he had no idea how to handle being on the receiving end._

_Stepping ever closer to him, she stared into his eyes and told him, "I've known you for a couple of months now, and you've quickly become my best friend. I feel warm around you. I feel safe, happy. Every time I see you, I don't want it to end, and every time I leave, I want to go back. I know I'm selfish for wanting you all to myself, but I can't help it. I want to spend every moment with you. I want to hold you close. I want to – mmph!"_

_It was his first kiss, and he was sure it was hers, too. That didn't make it any less perfect._

_He pulled back, smiling wider than ever before. "My real name is Subaru Natsuki_ _, and I'd love to_ _get to know_ _you_ _better_ _."_

* * *

Subaru gripped the bedsheets, his knuckles turning white. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.

He was supposed to ease Emilia into this; have a conversation with a lot of backstory and exposition before dropping the ball on her. A relatively simple reveal. Not a dramatic one where it's blurted out at the completely wrong time.

You know, like crying into your crush's lap after she faced her traumatic past, or something like that.

He called a silver-haired, amethyst-eyed half-elf "Satella." Emilia should hate him, abandon him.

Yet here she was, refusing to let go of his hand and staring at him worriedly.

 _'This girl is utterly ridiculous,'_ he realized, not for the first time. He took a deep breath to gain a modicum of composure. Out loud, he said, "I'm ready now."

She squeezed his hand but said nothing.

He scratched roughly at his arm over his sleeve. Oh, god, where did he start? He had it all planned out, didn't he? He should have prepared a notecard or something like that.

How would he explain Satella? Was she his wife? Ex-wife? It's not like they got divorced or anything, but he _died_ and it technically wasn't him that married her but it was his soul and he still loved her and did it count as cheating if it's reincarnation and he originally didn't remember her and–

"Um…"

"R-right, right. I was ready. Sorry." He took another deep breath, dragging it out as much as possible. "I also want to tell Rem and Ram, but I don't want them repeating what I say to Roswaal. I'll be saying some things that might make him angry. Still, we should get Beatrice and Puck. It involves them, too."

The moment he finished his thought, Beatrice appeared in front of him. "You called, I suppose?"

Subaru jumped a bit in his seat. "Beako?! What, how –"

He let out a "hmph" as she cradled Puck in her arms. As if it was an obvious fact, she stated, "You wanted to see Betty, so Betty came, I suppose."

"Amazing," Emilia whispered in awe. "I know you told me that you contracted with Beatrice, but to see such a strong bond between a great spirit and a human… and sooo early, too!"

Beatrice gave a half-hearted glare. "I am Subaru's Betty, I suppose. You should not be surprised, in fact."

Subaru managed a smile. "You're cute, Beako," he said fondly. "Thanks for coming so quickly."

Blushing, the spirit said, "W-well, Subaru is hopeless without me, I suppose."

"Speaking of hopeless," Puck chimed in, "I trusted you to take care of Lia, and it turns out that she's taking care of you." He gave a light _tsk_ in disappointment. "What do you have to say for yourself, Subaru?"

"For the record, I did help her," Subaru defended, earning a nod from Emilia. "I kinda sorta… broke down afterwards."

In an attempt to be helpful, she told Puck, "Mhm. He thought I was Satella."

That was, quite possibly, the worst thing Emilia could have said.

 _"What?!"_ he screamed. "How _dare_ you, Subaru?"

The pressure in the room increased tenfold, and Emilia waved her hands in front of herself. "H-hold on, Puck! It was more of a nickname, and it was in a positive light –"

"That makes it worse!"

"There's a reason for it, I'm sure! Please –"

"Quiet, Lia. Your misguided feelings for the boy are clouding your mind." Puck's tone brooked no room for argument. "Subaru Natsuki, we made a deal. You broke your end of it."

Subaru met Puck's eyes but said nothing.

"As per our agreement," Puck growled, a massive icicle forming in front of him, "I _will_ kill you."

"No!"  
 _"Huma!"_

Two shields – one of multi-colored mana and one of ice – formed in front of Subaru. Puck's attack bounced harmlessly off of them, fell to the floor, and disappeared into the ether.

"Please, Puck," Emilia begged. "I want – I _need_ to hear this."

"Hmph. And what about you, Beatrice?"

"I'm sorry, Bubby, I suppose." Beatrice's eyes were sad, but her tone was firm. "I won't let you hurt Subaru."

"He's friends with Satella!" he exclaimed, waving his paws towards Subaru.

"I was, too!" she shot back, and Puck reeled. "Are you going to attack me as well, I wonder?"

"I-I would _never_ –"

"Satella saved your life," said Subaru with narrowed eyes. "I know you don't remember, but I do."

Puck hesitated, but the oppressive aura in the room did not diminish much

"He's not lying, I suppose," Beatrice said, pleading with her fellow spirit. "Without her, you wouldn't have been alive to save Emilia, in fact."

Puck flinched. "That's a low blow," he muttered, reeling in his aura. "I have no idea what any of you are talking about, but I'll hear you out."

Subaru let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Thank you, Puck. Seriously, I –"

"But if I don't like your answers, or I detect a _hint_ of a lie…" He bared his teeth at Subaru. Well, something tells me that you already know what's coming."

"I'm not planning on lying, so I'm not worried about it." Subaru's focus shifted to Emilia, who was still gazing warily at Puck. "You should forgive him."

She faltered. "Wh-what?"

"He's only a father worried about his daughter, and he has no context. Hell, _neither_ of you do. Honestly, you should have reacted the same way."

She looked at him in shock. "Are you saying I should have _attacked_ you?" she asked incredulously. "I would never do that, Subaru!"

"I know you wouldn't," he said patiently. "It's one of the things I adore about you. I'm just saying that you shouldn't blame him. His reaction was perfectly understandable given the circumstances."

She wavered, but it looked like she wasn't about to back down.

"Please, Emilia. He loves you, and you love him. Don't ruin your relationship for my sake. I'd never forgive myself."

Her eyes softened. "Subaru, you idiot."

"What's with the sudden abuse?!" he cried out.

"You can't look at me with those eyes and expect me to do anything but cave in."

His face burned. "Seriously? These scary eyes?"

"Mhm. Mother Fortuna had those eyes, so I like them."

Subaru would probably find that creepy coming from anyone else, but Emilia was too damn pure for it to mean anything untoward.

His eyes shifted between father and daughter. "Well, what are you waiting for?" They looked at him, confused. "Come on, you two. Hug it out." He turned away. "I'll give you a moment."

He did his best to not eavesdrop, but the occasional muffled "I'm sorry" and "I love you" made him smile.

A weight pressed itself into his side, and blond hair entered his field of vision. "Betty can tell that Subaru is feeling left out, I suppose. So, I will allow a head pat, in fact."

He loved his little family.

Sometime later, he hopped off the bed. "Well, that was nice and all. Great emotional bonding time. Man, I'm hungry. Let's get some lunch." He began to march off but didn't make it more than a couple of steps before he was dragged back.

"Nuh-uh, mister," scolded Emilia. "You still have to tell us your life's story."

"Well, when you put it like that, this is even _more_ intimidating." He huffed. "Look, it's complicated, long, convoluted, and even I don't fully understand everything."

"That's fine. Just start at the beginning."

"Yeah, that's great. I have _no idea_ when the beginning is. Eighteen years ago? Four hundred years ago? Twenty years before that?"

Emilia frowned. "That's not – you know what? I'm not even going to ask. How about the middle?"

"That's not a bad choice. Which life should I start with?"

"I don't – never mind. The end?"

"Only reached that once, I guess. Not sure if the others count."

"I'm trying to be serious, Subaru!"

"I am too!" He pulled at his hair in frustration. "I had this whole conversation planned out, and now my mind is going a million miles an hour _and I don't know where to start!_ "

Seeing that this was going nowhere, Emilia took a deep breath to calm herself. "How about this. What's the topic?"

Subaru blinked. "The topic?"

"You know, summarize what you want to tell us in one or two words."

"That's, uh…" He paused, "not a bad idea, actually. Makes it easier to avoid the nitty-gritty details. How about, hmm…" He placed his hand on his chin and thought for a moment. Then, with a snap, "I got it! Uh, don't freak out, but the topic is 'Reincarnation.'"

"Mhm, I see."

"…"

"…"

Subaru gaped at Emilia. "That's it?"

"I mean, I kind of figured it would be something like that."

"B-but –"

"You have a nickname for the Witch of Envy," Subaru flinched, "and you knew Father Juice," Puck jolted a bit in Emilia's arms, "so you're either immortal – and I'm pretty sure you're not – or you somehow remember your past life."

"Okay, there's _no way_ you're this calm. Are you telling me it's that easy?"

"Oh, it's certainly not. The contents of your past life are most certainly suspicious."

"No one talks –"

"None of that." She crossed her arms. "No more silly jokes. I'm a patient person, but even I have my limits."

Subaru considered her carefully. "You're more confident today, Emilia-tan. I'm proud of you."

"I made a promise to become stronger, didn't I?" She paused and shook her head. "Stop distracting me," she admonished.

"Go easy on him, I suppose. This is hard for him, in fact," said Beatrice. "I don't know how Subaru remembers his past life, in fact, or of the events that led to his death, but…"

"But?" Emilia coaxed.

Beatrice looked up at Subaru. "I knew him, I suppose. He was my… friend, in fact," she forced out. "He can be trusted, I suppose. Him, and…"

Subaru, Puck, and Emilia stared at Beatrice. "And who?" asked Puck.

"…and Satella, I suppose."

It was barely a mumble, but it cut through the silence like a hot knife through butter. It had been established that there was misinformation regarding the Witch of Envy, but for Beatrice to say that Satella could be trusted?

Well, it certainly made things interesting.

"One last thing." Subaru took Emilia's hand. "Listen, Emilia-tan. I only discovered this recently. I liked you before I knew _any_ of this, all right?"

"A-all right," she stammered, a bit confused. "A-and I… yeah."

Subaru smiled fondly. "Yeah. I know." Puck cleared his throat, bringing Subaru back to reality. "R-right, past life. Well…"

His lives on Earth were listless and uneventful. In one universe, he was a shut-in who didn't appreciate his incredible, amazing parents. In the other, those parents died when he was young.

Both times, his life truly started in Lugunica.

So, he told them how he found himself transported here from an 'island nation to the east,' and how Satella healed him.

"Most of my body was missing." He shivered at the memory but continued. "I wouldn't have lasted a minute if not for her. She literally created a body out of magic and attached my soul to it."

"To think that anyone, even Satella, could have that kind of power just lying in reserve, in fact." Beatrice looked into the distance, drowning in memories. "She was something special, I suppose."

"Hold on, you said you knew Subaru," accused Puck. "Why didn't you know this?"

"Betty wasn't born yet, I suppose."

Subaru ruffled her hair, paying no mind to her half-hearted whines. "Yeah, I'm older than the loli-grandma. How fucked up is that?"

"I've still lived longer, in fact! You are a child to me, I suppose!"

Emilia watched the byplay in silence. So many thoughts were running through her head.

The Witch of Envy. The Calamity. The demon who destroyed half the world.

The one who caused Emilia so much hardship.

Was she really… just a healer?

Emilia knew there was more to the story, but that was enough to throw off her entire world view.

And that was when she learned about Echidna.

* * *

_"So, this is Dona's lab." Subaru walked around and whistled appreciatively, musing, "Over a year in this mansion and I finally get to see it." He poked around at a slew of floating levers, each labeled in glyphs that were drastically different from the ones Satella taught him. "Some fancy stuff in here. I mean, I don't know what any of it does, but I assume it's complicated."_

" _Most is," agreed Satella. "I wish I could give you more information, but Mother doesn't tell me anything."_

_He looked at her strangely. "But aren't you her notetaker?"_

_She shifted uncomfortably as she mumbled, "I-I mean –"_

_"Also, don't you read?" he pointed out. "Like, a lot?" They both spent hundreds of hours in the Forbidden Library, so surely there was SOME documentation to be found._

_"W-well, yeah, but most of this is stuff Mother invented. Kinda hard to find books on things that no one else knows about."_

_Subaru shot her a strange look. "Huh."_

" _What's wrong?"_

" _Nothing, it's just… One moment you use a bunch of old-fashioned words, and the next, you talk like me."_

_She fidgeted with the sleeves of her long, black dress. "W-well, I spend a lot of time with you, so 'tis only natural…" She peeked up at him through her eyelashes, asking, "Does it bother you?"_

_He was quick to reassure her, saying, "Not at all. I think it's cute."_

_She raised her eyebrows. "You think the way you talk is cute? I mean, sure, okay."_

_"Not fair!" he groaned. "I'm supposed to be the one teasing you, not the other way around."_

_She stepped closer with a coy smile, and his breath hitched. "I happen to like teasing you… Subaru."_

" _A-ah, um…"_

" _I hope 'tis not a problem if I tease you a little more."_

" _W-well…"_

_His heart was beating like crazy, and his palms began to sweat. She reached out…_

_...and tickled him._

_At that point, he didn't know if he was laughing at the sensations flowing through him or at himself for thinking that sweet, innocent Satella was even_ capable _of thinking like that._

" _I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna…_ getcha _!"_

_On second thought, he was probably laughing at how ridiculous this girl was._

" _C-come on – haha – not fair! You – haha – s-stop – haha!"_

" _Careful, now," came a new voice, and the two froze. "You wouldn't want to knock anything over."_

 _Satella jumped off of him, standing as straight as possible. "M-Mother!" she meeped. "S- Flugel and I were merely_ _… S-so,_ _what brings you doing here?"_

_Echidna, standing as tall and proud as ever, gave Satella a flat stare. "Did you just ask me what I'm doing in my own laboratory?"_

" _U-uh…"_

" _Hey, Dona!" called Subaru with false cheer. Echidna creeped him out, but he wasn't about to let Satella get yelled at. "So, whatcha working on?"_

_Echidna narrowed her eyes at him. "I see you've met Typhon," she noted instead of answering his question. "Possibly Sekhmet, as well, if Typhon was here."_

_Nervously, he asked, "A-and what makes you say that?"_

" _No one else calls me Dona," she deadpanned._

_At length, he admitted, "Okay, yeah, that's fair."_

_She looked him up and down. "I see you have all your body parts," she noted idly. "You must not have touched Typhon."_

" _Is that what the locals do to perverts or something like that? Eh, whatever. I stick to women my own age, thank you very much."_

" _Hm." No mirth, disgust, anger, agreement, or anything resembling human emotion. Just cold, calculating eyes._

_Subaru had seen Echidna laugh, smile, and get annoyed at others. She gave off the air of a charming maiden. To him, however, she showed none of that._

_It's like she knew he saw right through her._

" _Come, Satella," commanded Echidna, appearing to lose interest in Subaru. "I would like your help with an experiment."_

_Satella deflated but nodded her assent. She faced Subaru and managed a shaky grin. "I'll come find you when I'm done, all right? Don't wait up."_

" _Uh, sure, but… What's with that look?"_

" _Wh-what look?"_

" _I mean, you're only Dona's notetaker, right? It's not like_ you're _the experiment."_

" _Oh… Oh! Yeah, I'm a notetaker! Teehee, silly me. I –"_

_"Satella," Echidna snapped._

_With fear, Satella quickly said, "C-coming, Mother!"_

_She ran off into the depths of the laboratory, leaving Subaru behind._

_Something was going on, and he didn't like it one bit._ _For hours, he waited outside the lab, his stomach churning with anxiety._

_Satella lied to him._

_She_ _said_ _she was Echidna's notetaker._ _Honestly, that sounded great. To watch a genius like Echidna discover the secrets of the unknown… the scholar in him would have jumped at the opportunity._

_But Satella's eyes… they were filled with resignation, not excitement._

_Suddenly, things started to make sense. The way she denied all compliments. How she flinched when someone touched her unexpectedly. How had he not noticed it before?_

_So, he stayed there, despite her telling him to not wait up. It was quiet; if he didn't know better, he'd say that no one was in there. Many hours passed, and the sun had fallen low in the sky. Finally, just as he began to get drowsy, the door creaked open._

_He shot up, grabbed Satella's hand, and led her away._

" _S-Subaru?" She sounded exhausted, the poor thing._

" _Don't worry, Ella." He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but her faltering grip clearly showed his failure. "Everything will be okay. Just come with me."_

" _O-okay. I trust you."_

_They arrived at his room, and he gently guided her on the bed. Staring straight into her eyes, he got right to business. "Do you have underclothes on?"_

" _What?!" she cried, rare indignation seeping into her voice. "What kind of –"_

" _It's not what you think. Just answer the question."_

" _I-I do, but–" He took out his Healer's Kit – the one she taught him how to use – and her eyes softened in realization. "Subaru…"_

" _How long has she been hurting you?"_

" _She's not… I'm fine, I –"_

_Frustration bubbled to the surface, but he forced it down. "How. Long."_

" _Nine years!" she burst out, before covering her mouth in horror. "I-I didn't… forget everything you've seen, everything you've heard!"_

 _She tried to get up, but Subaru gently pushed her back down._ " _I'm not going to forget," he swore, his eyes blazing._ _"I will save you from this."_

_"There's nothing to save me from," she insisted. "I owe her my life. This is the least I could do."_

_"Bullshit," he hissed. "This isn't payment. This is torture."_

_"'Tis not… I'm fine, just go! Leave me alone!"_

_That was the last thing he wanted to do, and they both knew it._ _He closed his hand around her wrist, and she hissed in pain. "One of the cuts was here, wasn't it?"_

 _She bit her lip but nodded._ _He pulled back the sleeve of her dress, grimacing at the deep gashes that were still oozing blood._

_Was she planning on healing herself? Did she even care? Was this some sick sense of punishment for allowing this to happen to her?_

_Why didn't she tell him sooner?_

" _Why is it shaped like that?" he asked in a vain attempt to give his thoughts direction. He noticed a plethora of scars surrounding the fresh wounds. "The ones around it aren't normal cuts, either." They looked almost like the runes from some of the more occult texts he'd read._

 _"'Tis_ _for Mother's rituals," she whispered, resigned to her fate. "I don't know what their purpose is, but she needs a 'live specimen.'"_

" _Should have used her own damn self," he snarled. After cleaning the area to prevent infection, he cast a simple healing spell. A soft glow permeated the air as the wound closed._

" _Your magic is so gentle," she breathed._

" _That's because my teacher is the kindest, most compassionate person I've ever known."_

_He finished working on her arm and moved to her other limbs. Once, he thought it was prudishness or innocence, but now it was obvious to him why she wore such a long, modest dress._

_She felt ashamed._

" _Thank you," she whispered gratefully as he finished healing her legs. "I'm in your debt. I'll… I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"_

" _We're not done."_

 _She looked at him in disbelief._ " _You don't have to do this for me."_

" _I know."_

_With trembling fingers, she hesitantly pulled off her dress, and his heart broke. She was more scars than skin._

" _I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly, casting her eyes downward. "I'm disgusting."_

" _You're beautiful," he said in awe, for it was true. He'd never seen anything more lovely, and he doubted he ever would._

" _Don't lie to me," she said pitifully. "I'm a monster. A grotesque pig."_

" _Listen to me, Ella." He placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. "You. Are. Beautiful. Absolutely stunning. You take my breath away every time I look at you."_

_She lowered her gaze. "B-but these scars –"_

" _They prove that you're a survivor," he insisted. "I think they make you even more captivating."_

_She didn't believe him. Perhaps she never would. He'd simply have to tell her every day for the rest of their lives._

_Subaru began the long, arduous process of treating every single wound inflicted upon her. Many would disappear, and even more would fade to a mere scratch, but dozens of scars would be permanent. These wounds, inflicted on her since she was but a child, could not be erased._

_But the most permanent scars were not physical._

_Several hours later, Subaru collapsed onto the bed. He was exhausted, but he had done it. He'd treated every single wound. Satella wrapped her arms around him, locking herself to his chest._

_She would stay tonight._

_Nothing untoward would happen. She merely needed someone to hold._

_Honestly, he did, too._

_She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Why?"_

_It was a loaded question with a simple answer._

_He gazed at her, looking deep into the amethyst eyes he found so captivating and said the words he'd been wanting to say for months._

" _I love you."_

* * *

As he said those precious three words, Subaru felt Emilia let go of his hand.

He knew it would happen. He expected it, but it still hurt like hell.

Subaru was in love with Satella in a past life. Part of that feeling carried over to his current life, and once he found his old memories, it returned in full force.

But the Subaru of _this_ life was in love with Emilia, and the silent rejection ripped his heart into pieces.

…Until he felt her hand running through his hair.

"I knew it already, but it's sooo much more obvious now." Admiration shone through her voice. "You're amazing Subaru."

_'What.'_

He looked at her, unable to believe what he was hearing. "You don't… hate me? Don't you see how scummy I am?"

Emilia shook her head. "All I see is a man who takes good care of people. It's one of the things I reeaally like about you."

_'This isn't real, right? Girls like this don't exist outside of anime.'_

"…You're weird, Emilia-tan."

"But you still like me, don't you?"

A lump formed in his throat, but his heart was full, so he settled on a nod. Her blinding smile was the best answer he could have possibly hoped for.

He absolutely loved this girl.

"I probably had a past life. I might have found love, too." She shrugged. "It wouldn't be fair to blame you for this."

"But I _still_ love Satella," he pointed out forcefully.

"Mhm. It means I'll have to try super-duper hard to get you to choose me."

His usual comment about her language died in his throat. Was this merely Emilia's good nature? A result of her low self-esteem? Her lack of experience with people and relationships?

In all likelihood, it was an unhealthy combination of all three. Here he was, taking advantage of that innocence like the selfish piece of shit he was.

"I know this is hard," she soothed, staring into his eyes, "but let me help you, okay? You've helped me through sooo much, and I want to return the favor."

He lowered his gaze. "I don't deserve you, Emilia-tan."

"You deserve better," she insisted. "I'm just being selfish and keeping you around."

At that, he finally allowed himself to smile at her, and she beamed.

Puck watched the exchange in silence. He was still uncomfortable with the idea of his little Lia liking a boy, but he knew better than to interrupt such a critical moment.

Beatrice, on the other hand, wasn't paying attention at all. "Four hundred years, I suppose," she murmured.

"Huh?" Puck dragged his eyes away from the couple. "Did you say something, Betty?"

She clenched her fists as she dismissed, "It's nothing, I suppose."

Nothing at all.

Subaru, noticing his spirit's frustration, leaned over, and pulled her into a one-armed hug.

After all, it was only going to get worse.

* * *

_Satella went back to Echidna the very next day._

_Subaru had read about the different types of abusive relationships and their effects on the psyche, but to see it happen to a loved one hurt more than he thought possible. When Satella came to him that night, shaken and exhausted, he wanted to yell. He wanted to scold her for being so stupid and for putting herself in harm's way. Didn't she see that this wasn't normal?_

_But he knew it didn't work like that. Right now, she was hurting more than him. So, he healed her, and held her close as she cried._

_Once again, he told her he loved her. Just like the night before, she whispered it back against his lips._

" _Do you trust me?"_

_She nodded into his chest. "Always."_

" _Even if you don't believe me, will you follow me?"_

" _Of course."_

_It was time to test that faith. "Then stop helping Echidna with her experiments."_

_Satella's eyes widened. "B-but –"_

" _You said you trusted me. All I'm doing is looking out for you."_

 _She grimaced. "You don't understand. I owe her my life. This is_ nothing _compared to what she did for me."_

" _Anything she did was completely nullified the moment she laid a hand on you."_

_Satella furrowed her brows. "But she'd never touch a disgusting half-elf like me. She only used surgical tools."_

" _That makes it even worse!" he yelled, and she flinched back._

'Deep breaths, Subaru. In… out…'

_Forcefully, he told her, "Look, just… trust me on this. One day, you WILL see that I'm right."_

_Satella searched his eyes, looking for any sort of trickery, before nodding. A moment later, she retreated further into herself. "I can't stop," she mourned. "She'll kick me out."_

_Subaru was about to say, "You don't know that," but it sounded_ exactly _like something Echidna would do._

_Instead, he tried to assuage her fears. "We'll figure that out when the time comes."_

_Subaru and Satella survived being homeless and alone. Now that they were properly educated and together, they would be fine._

_All they needed to do now was plan what to say to Echidna._

_The next evening, Subaru waited outside Echidna's lab, messing around with his magic. Satella had told him that, despite his rough start, his grasp of magic exceeded most experts. He called bullshit. He wasn't some sage or whatever; he merely thought of things he wanted to do and made it happen._

_Right now, what he wanted most was to be in that room. Unfortunately, Satella's harsh glare was more powerful than any magic he could muster, and he was relegated to waiting outside._

_It felt like an eternity, but she finally came out. "How'd it go?" he asked gently. "Are we still allowed to stay in the mansion?"_

_He tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn't let him. "We will not be leaving," she said flatly._

_"That's great!" he exclaimed, barely able to contain his excitement. "Geez, she must be in a great –"_

_"I will be assisting Mother again tomorrow. Please do not concern yourself with me."_

_He froze. "Wh-what?"_

_"I am weary." Her voice was resigned, dead. "I will be retiring to my room now. Do not follow me."_

_He reached out his arm, but she was already gone._

_In a rage, he turned on his heel and barged into the lab. Inside, stood a woman of white and black. Her dark eyes reflected the light of the fire as her pale hands continued their work. All the land knew her as a beautiful maiden; her porcelain features and mysterious smile were the downfall of many suiters._

_All Subaru saw was a hideous monster._

" _Echidna!" he shouted. "What the hell happened?!"_

" _Ah, good afternoon, Flugel." She didn't bother to face him as she nonchalantly asked, "I trust you are having a fine day?"_

" _Drop the act," he growled. "What did you do to Satella?"_

" _Oh, nothing much," she said flippantly. "She simply realized I didn't need her anymore."_

_His anger was replaced by confusion. "That's… that's good, right? So, why is she –"_

_She stepped aside, revealing what she was working on. "I trust you can identify this?"_

_He took a step forward to take a closer look and his face paled in horror. She wouldn't... Could she actually be_ _–_

_Like a lecturer to her students, she explained, "Artificial spirits are useful creatures. If configured properly, they will perform any task even more diligently than, say, a half-elf."_

" _You monster." It was barely a whisper, but she heard it all the same._

" _You'd insult a tender young maiden, just like that? How rude."_

_That was why Satella wouldn't leave. She was protecting the spirit that Echidna had created._

_But something didn't add up. "If you could make an artificial spirit for your experiments, why do you need Satella?"_

_Echidna held up a vial and squinted at it but said nothing._

_He kept talking, but he already knew the answer. "It's because you can't actually use the spirit. You can't use anyone but Satella. There's something about her that's critical to your experiments. The spirit is just a bargaining chip."_

" _The process to create an artificial spirit is quite difficult," she mused, paying him no mind. "The materials are hard to come by, and they require intense concentration to put together." She waved a hand at him, dismissively. "Now, shoo. I have work to do, and I'm almost done."_

_A small smile danced on her lips. With pride and victory, she spoke:_

_"I think I will call this one… Beatrice."_


	13. Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for editing this story and for giving me a healthy relationship as opposed to the mess that is Subaru/Emilia/Satella.

A bargaining chip.

The phrase hit Beatrice repeatedly, bouncing around her skull. It seared into her like a brand, literally defining her purpose in life.

That was all she was. A bargaining chip. An object. No wonder Echidna never thought of Beatrice as a daughter.

The voice of her contractor brought her out of her thoughts. "Implied Rule Number One of our contract: No sadness allowed."

She looked up, annoyed. "What, I suppose?"

"Don't you remember?" Subaru asked with feigned disappointment. He mimicked a tear falling down his face. "Why, I'm hurt, Beako!"

She scoffed. "Of course, I remember, in fact," she shot back. "Betty just thought it didn't apply when my contractor is such a crybaby, I suppose!"

He put a hand on his chest and gasped loudly. "Such harsh words from such a cute face!"

He ruffled her hair and she half-heartedly batted his hand away with a huff. "Tell me," he began with a smile, "what are we doing right now, Beako?"

She glared at him, and said, "You're right here, I suppose. You don't need me to answer that question, in fact."

"Please? For me?" he begged with a pout, and she recoiled.

"You're not cute like Betty is, so puppy-dog eyes don't work, I suppose!" Her contractor didn't let up, so she relented, grumbling, "We are discussing Subaru's memories, in fact."

"And yesterday?" he asked, encouraging her to continue.

She closed her eyes in annoyance, and said, "We turned a dragon into a black hole, in fact."

Ignoring the "Wait, what?" from Puck, Subaru continued, "That doesn't sound like something a bargaining chip would do."

Cracking a single eye open, Beatrice glanced at Subaru. He was smiling at her with a look that said, "I know I'm right, and I'm about to show you why."

Resigning herself to her fate, she asked, "What do you mean by that, I suppose?"

"I _mean_ that the circumstances of your birth or bloodline do not dictate your future," he said like it was obvious. He turned to Emilia. "You heard that too, right?"

She nodded, confused. "Yes, but –"

"Good. Remember it." Ignoring her pout at being interrupted, he brought his attention back to Beatrice, saying, "You may have been born with a purpose, but you freed yourself from that. You can live your life as you please."

Free...

She'd never been free before. Why did that sound so nice?

She choked up slightly. "B-Betty can tell that Subaru –"

Subaru's arms wrapped around her. "It's okay to ask for a hug, you know." He twirled a lock of blonde hair around his finger. "Anytime you need it, I'll be right here."

Her contractor was an idiot. A frustrating, powerless, annoying idiot... but she loved her idiot.

He was wrong, too. Beatrice didn't free herself.

He did.

* * *

_Satella didn't believe Subaru when he told her about Beatrice's true purpose._

" _Look, I was right there," he asserted. "It all adds up, and Echidna kept dodging the question."_

" _Exactly," she said stubbornly. "She dodged the question. She didn't give you any answers."_

_Satella was right, but that didn't stop him. "I'm right, Satella, and you know it," he insisted. "We could leave this instant and everything will be fine."_

_She stepped closer and jabbed a finger into his chest, eyes flaming with anger. Subaru reeled back in shock, having never seen such a look on her before, but she remained in his face. "You know what, Subaru? You're selfish," she spat._

_"How am I selfish?" he shot back, his voice rising steadily. "I'm just looking out for you!"_

_He intended for that to calm her down, but if anything she looked more upset. "If you were looking out for me, then you'd know how I'd feel in this situation!"_

" _How can I when you won't tell me?" he yelled. "I've known you for over a year and I didn't know a damn thing about this mess!"_

" _Because I knew you wouldn't understand, and I was right!" she said angrily, her face red with fury._

" _Damn right, I don't understand!" he snapped. "Why the fuck are you letting her do this to you? This isn't how a mother should act!"_

_She scoffed. "How would you know? You've never had any parents!"_

" _Neither have you!" he shouted, ignoring her flinch. "That_ bitch _does not get to call herself your mother!"_

_They were aiming to hurt, and they knew that. They were both at their wits end and couldn't do anything but yell._

_After all, it's not like anyone taught them how to handle their emotions._

" _Don't you_ dare _say that," she seethed. "I'd be dead if not for her!"_

" _So would I," he callously reminded her, "but I don't have a bunch of runes carved into me, do I?"_

" _Because I don't need it!"_

_He sneered at her ridiculous statement. "So, if you needed it, I'd find a million scars on my body?"_

_She threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't know!" she cried. "Maybe? Who knows what I'd do?!"_

_He stepped closer, their body heats increasing alongside their ire. "Bullshit!" he yelled. "It's impossible for you to hurt someone! That's not who you are!"_

_"And how would you know that?" she screamed in his face._

_"Because I love you!"_

_"That just means you're blind!"_

_Subaru's aura flared, but it was nothing compared to Satella's. Her magic lashed out, destroying the furniture around them and raising the temperature drastically. They were like two schoolchildren, heads butted and screaming nonsense. They needed to show the other person how wrong they were, even if neither knew the point they were trying to make._

_"I'm not blind! You're blind!"  
_ _"No, I'm not! I'm doing the right thing!"  
_ _"How? How is this right? Don't you see you're hurting me?"  
_ _"I'm not hurting anyone! You're hurting me!"_

_Subaru's bed lit up in flames, but he paid it no mind. The fire in his eyes was infinitely more intense. It locked their gazes to each other as they screamed._

_"That's it," he decided. "If you're not going to listen, then I'm taking you out of here by force." He grabbed her roughly by the arm, ignoring the unbearable heat. "I'm not letting her touch you ever again!"_

_She squirmed away, her eyes an inferno of anger. "I'm not leaving!" she snapped. "I won't let anything happen to her!"_

_He scoffed as he mockingly asked, "What the hell would happen to Echidna if you were gone?"_

_"Not her!" she yelled, frustrated that he wasn't understanding her thoughts. "I'm talking about Beatrice!"_

_He clenched his fists and sneered. "This again? I told you that she's fine, but you won't listen to me!"_

_"I'm not risking it!" she screamed. "That poor girl did nothing wrong!"_

_"Neither did you!" he spat._

_The flames leaped from the bed and onto his arm, and he yelped in pain. Satella, no longer trapped by his angry eyes, finally noticed the destruction she was causing. She doused the room in water, extinguishing the flames._

_But the damage was done. Subaru's arm was a charred mess._

_"I-I'm so sorry!" she cried. "Here, let me heal it." She reached out, but Subaru flinched back, whimpering as he cradled his mangled arm to his chest._

_"Subaru…" she whispered, her broken heart evident in her tone._

_"I was only… looking out for you," he hissed through the pain._

_"I know you were, and I'm sorry!" She began to hyperventilate she begged, "Please, let me heal you!"_

_She tried to get closer, but he backed up against the wall. "_ _Please, Subaru," she whimpered, desperately trying to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry. I love you so much. Let me heal you. Please."_

_He refused to look at her but eventually nodded._ _She approached him slowly, not wanting to startle him. She broke his trust, and she'd be damned if she did it again._

_She hurt the man she loved. Mother was right: she was pathetic._

_She pushed down her self-loathing for the moment and focused on the issue at hand. Channeling her magic into him, she slowly repaired the damaged tissue. The muscle and skin twisted around his veins, attempting to revert to their original, pure form._

_A few moments later, his arm was healed, but the scars remained._

_Some of those scars were physical._

" _I'm so sorry." She gently traced the new scars on his arm as crystal tears fell from her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I love you. I'm so sorry."_

_Subaru's other arm shakily wrapped itself around her. "I'm sorry, too," he murmured. "I love you, Ella."_

_The dam broke, and she began to cry in earnest. "What are we going to do?" she asked, begging for comfort that he could not give._

" _I don't know." He closed his eyes and let out a quivering breath. "I just don't know."_

_They clung to each other throughout the night._ _Finally, Satella's breathing evened out, and she fell into a restless sleep. Subaru stroked the silver hair he loved so much and made a promise._

_"I will save you," he whispered into her ear. She buried her head in the crook of his neck, her hot breath sending shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around her, whispering, "I love you, Satella."_

_He didn't sleep a wink that night. All he could do was plan an escape._

_Physically leaving was the easy part. The mansion had no security and was right next to a village, not to mention that Echidna was often traveling. So, the real challenge would come from convincing Satella to come with him._

_If he could prove that no one else would be hurt if they left, then everything would be okay. They could run away and forget about all of this._

_Subaru had seen Echidna carrying large piles of notes from her lab on multiple occasions. Of course, he thought Satella had written them, but that was beside the point. The important thing is that there could be evidence that Echidna needed Satella specifically and not an artificial spirit._

_So, the next morning, he snooped around the master bedroom, searching frantically. "_ _They should be around here somewhere," he muttered to himself. "_ _Maybe it's in here?" He opened a drawer and found a bunch of socks. "That's not –"_

" _What are you doing, I suppose?" asked a high-pitched voice._

_Subaru jumped, his heart beating a mile a minute. He turned around and saw no one. "Was I hallucinating?" he wondered aloud. The stress must have been getting to him._

" _Down here, I suppose," said the same voice, clearly annoyed._ _He looked down to find a small, blonde girl with butterfly pupils._

_Easily the most adorable thing he'd ever seen._

_She crossed her arms and glared at him. "What are you doing in Mother's room, I wonder? Are you searching for her panties, I suppose?" Her accusation held all the weight of a judge, jury, and executioner. "You are a pervert, in fact!"_

_He waved his arms in front of him in a panic._ " _Whoa, whoa, back up there, lady!" he cried. "I'm not doing anything like that, all right? I'm just looking for stuff." He glanced behind him and mumbled, "Probably not gonna find them in the sock drawer anyway."_

" _Find what, I wonder?" she asked with marginally less hostility, but her glare didn't waver._

" _Don't worry about it," he said dismissively. Realizing something, he cast her a wary look. "Wait, did you just refer to Echidna as 'Mother'? You wouldn't happen to be Beatrice, would you?"_

_It was rhetorical, of course. It was obvious who this was._

_Deep down, he knew he should probably resent Beatrice. She represented everything that was keeping Satella here._

… _But she was so damn adorable._

" _I see you know Betty's name, I suppose," she said grumpily. Ah, so this was one of those tsundere lolis that spoke about themselves in the third person. "I presume you're the annoying pest called Flugel, in fact?"_

_Subaru felt a momentary flare of indignation at how Echidna referred to him behind his back, but he often said far worse about her. Sticking his thumb to his chest, Subaru proudly declared, "Yep, that's me! Flugel's the name and pissing people off is my game!"_

_Beatrice didn't look impressed in the slightest. "I'll be sure to remember that, I suppose," she deadpanned. "Now, leave Mother's room, or else."_

_He laughed and patted her head, mockingly saying, "A cute little kid like you shouldn't be bossing around your elders." He smirked down at her. "Why don't you go play with dolls or something?"_

_A vein throbbed on her forehead. "Grr, just leave already, I suppose!" She thrust out her hand, and the next moment, Subaru found himself on the floor of his room, feeling like he'd been hit by a truck._

_Perhaps it was best to avoid pissing her off._

_He decided that a walk outside would help. The mansion was beautiful, and the morning air always managed to cool his head. There was just something about the Lugunican atmosphere that was…_

_Smoky?_

" _Hello, Flugel. You shouldn't sneak up on a maiden; she might get the wrong idea."_

_Echidna was standing in front of a fire, but there was no pit. The ethereal flames stayed level with her waist, flaring up whenever she put something in it._

_He approached her hesitantly. "What are you doing, Dona?"_

" _I'm preparing for a simple memorization exercise," she said like it was obvious. "You know I'm always one for sharpening my skills."_

_"And torture devices," he muttered darkly. "All right, I'll bite. How does fire help?"_

_She clucked her tongue. "Silly boy," she scolded gently, like a mother to a child. "It's not the fire… It's what goes_ in _the fire."_

_He narrowed his eyes. "Is that… paper?"_

_She dropped another piece in the fire, watching the smoke rise with disinterest. "It's utterly dreadful having to constantly refer to my notes, so it's much nicer to have it right up here," she told him, pointing to her temple and giving the smallest of smiles. She picked up the top paper and sighed fondly. "Ah, this was a fun one to write. It says in clear terms the exact reasons I created Beatrice and how it relates to a certain half-elf."_

_With a jolt, Subaru lunged towards the document, arms outstretched, but it was too late. The paper became nothing but ash, floating towards the ground._

_That was his chance. He could have freed Satella with those, and now they were gone. In a rage, he threw a punch at Echidna._

"Goa." _A single word, calm and collected, was seared into Subaru's mind that day. His torso erupted into flames, burning the skin, and destroying the muscle underneath._

_A serene smile complemented Echidna's empty eyes. "You forget who you're dealing with," she said, almost playfully._

_He couldn't respond through his screams of agony._

"Lo Huma," _she incanted. Water coalesced around his torso, stopping just at the shoulders, and froze. The ice shrunk into a skin-tight bodysuit, extinguishing the flames, and putting pressure on the damaged flesh. Throat raw from screaming, he could only wait until the ice melted away._

_"All done," she cooed. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"_

_His entire torso was a charred mess. Exposed flesh and burns littered his chest and stomach. No damage was done to his shoulders or neck._ _Everything could be easily concealed with a shirt._

_No one would know unless he told them._

_Empty, dark eyes smiled at the screaming boy._ _"Now, if you will excuse me, I need to continue Project Sanctuary."_

_With that, the Witch of Greed walked past the fallen Subaru, no longer interested in him._

* * *

Subaru took a shaky breath. "Those wounds never healed," he said with a faraway look. "That fire wasn't normal. There was something… cursed about it."

"That's horrible," Emilia whispered as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so sorry, Subaru." She cupped his cheek and looked into his eyes the way Mother Fortuna always used to do whenever Emilia cried.

He tried to melt into her touch, but he was too tense. "I tried to forget about it, but…" He trailed off as his breaths became shaky and his hands began to tremble.

Emilia, still intent on relieving his sorrow, laid him down in her lap and stroked his hair, exactly like the book told her to. She caressed his lips with her thumb, idly noticing how soft they were, as his breath began to return to normal. It was as if that book was written specifically for him. "But it still hurt," she asked sadly, "didn't it?"

"Every moment of every day," he croaked.

* * *

_Subaru couldn't tell Satella about the burns._

_On one hand, it would prove that Echidna didn't hurt Satella exclusively._ _On the other, if they left, there was a chance that all of Echidna's 'love and attention' would be directed towards Beatrice._

… _But Subaru would be hurt if they stayed, and Satella wouldn't want that, either._

_In the end, Subaru acknowledged that Satella knowing about his injuries would only make things worse._ _So, he suffered alone._

_Six months passed. Satella saw Echidna every day._

_Every day, Subaru healed her injuries. Every day, he felt even more useless._

_Satella said that she'd feel safer knowing that he was far away, so he promised her that he would never interrupt Echidna's experiments._

_Every day, he came closer and closer to breaking that promise._

_Most of their free time was spent either practicing magic or studying in the Forbidden Library. He may have hated Echidna, but he had to admit, her book collection was amazing._

_If Subaru was being honest, that was no longer the only reason they spent time in the Forbidden Library._

" _What are you reading today, I wonder?"_

_Despite their rocky start, Beatrice had become quite close to Subaru and Satella. The latter was more of a mother to Beatrice than Echidna ever was. It was a shame that neither of them could see it. They both were too loyal to that Witch._

_Subaru and Satella had dropped hints and asked many questions, but Beatrice had no idea what Echidna was researching. She honestly thought Satella was a notetaker._

_That innocence made them want to protect her more. Echidna's scheme was working wonders._

_Satella turned her book over to read the cover, allowing her to answer Beatrice's question. "'Tis called 'Alternate Incantations for Elemental Magic.' Apparently, a skilled magician can create their own spells aside from the usual El, Ul, and Al variations."_

" _That's fascinating, I suppose," Beatrice said with an attentive nod. She turned to Subaru with disinterest. "What about you, I wonder?"_

" _I have a name, you know," he grumbled good-naturedly._

" _Your name is 'you' if I want it to be, in fact," she deadpanned. Satella giggled and he rolled his eyes. Again, Beatrice asked, "What are you reading, I wonder?"_

" _It's about the stars," he told them with a sigh. "It's kind of disappointing: Lugunica has a fairly primitive understanding of –"_

" _I don't care, I suppose," she admitted. "Betty was merely being cute and polite, in fact."_

_He put down the book like a father would his newspaper. "I don't like your sass, young lady," he chided. "There's no need to be such a tsundere."_

_She glared at him. "Is that a swear word, I suppose?" She pointed at him accusatorily, saying, "Satella warned me about your potty mouth, in fact! You shouldn't be so rude to me, I suppose!"_

_Satella let out a long-suffering sigh. "That's enough, you two."_

" _My apologies, I suppose."  
_ " _Sorry, Ella."_

_They all read in silence for a moment before Satella stiffened. With the voice of a dead woman, she informed them: "Mother is calling me."_

_Subaru stood up and blocked her path. "You know you don't have to do this."_

_He said the same thing every day._

_"I do," she responded, just as she always did. Her eyes flicked to Beatrice as her voice lowered. "Even assuming our other reasons were not valid, I still owe her."_

_He shook his head vehemently. "You don't –"_

_She held a hand over his mouth._ "Not here," _her eyes pleaded._

_Beatrice was watching them, a question on her face. Subaru sighed but didn't push further, choosing instead to gently grab Satella's hand and move it away from his face. "Of course," he muttered with resignation. "I'll be waiting for you in our room."_

_It hadn't been "his room" for a long time._

" _Thank you." She gave him the smile he adored so much and pecked him on the lips._

* * *

"W-wait, hold on!" cried Emilia. At everyone's questioning look, she flushed. "I… Uh, golly, this is weird."

Subaru rolled his eyes. "No one says 'golly' anymore."

"Just hear me out," she pleaded. She wrung her hands together. "Look, I'm, uh, I'm not _mad_ that you and Satella are, uh, close… Th-that's still weird to think about, and I'm starting to wonder if you only… I mean, but, um, gee, this is –"

Beatrice crossed her arms. "Get on with it, I suppose," she grouched. "I want Subaru to finish the story."

Emilia took a deep breath and let it out, putting her whole body into it. "Okay, um… Subaru? Am I… your descendant?"

Silence filled the room. Everyone was too stunned to move.

"What," Subaru deadpanned after a minute.

Emilia began to sweat with nervousness. "L-look, it makes sense, okay?" she defended. "You know how, in my memories, Pandora called me the 'Witch's Daughter,' right?"

"No," he said bluntly. "I panicked and disappeared, remember?"

"O-oh, yeah, um, well, she did, and, um…" She blushed as her voice rose in pitch. "I-I didn't know what it meant back then, but now I think it means I'm related to the Witch of Envy specifically, and… Oh, this is embarrassing."

Her face turned even redder. "You and Satella j-just…" She gulped and, speaking so quietly even Puck struggled to hear, whispered, "...made a baby.

Subaru gaped at her but didn't say anything.

"I thought I was okay with all this," she muttered sadly, "but now it's reeaally weird and – _what are you doing?!"_

Subaru shot out of his seat and slapped Puck out of the air, sending the great spirit careening into a wall. "Damn it, Puck!" he shouted. "That's it, I take back everything good I said! You _suck_ at parenting!"

"It's not my fault!" Puck defended, but everyone could tell how flimsy it sounded. "There was this other maid who gave her the wrong idea!"

"And you didn't bother to correct her?" Subaru asked incredulously.

"Lia's too young!"

"She's eighteen!" he shot back. "Kids learn when they're, like, ten!"

"But mentally –"

"No! You don't get to use that excuse anymore!"

"H-hold on," Emilia interrupted, utterly bewildered. "You're saying that kissing… _doesn't_ make babies?"

Subaru held his head in his hands and moaned in existential pain. "See, Puck? You're ruining my chances of kissing Emilia-tan!"

Puck reeled back as if Subaru had struck him again. "I don't want you kissing my daughter, you pervert!"

Emilia, on the verge of fainting, muttered, "B-but I'm not ready to have a baby…"

Beatrice clapped her hands together, generating a shockwave to silence the arguing trio. "You're all hopeless, I suppose," she grumbled. "Now, Emilia, because my contractor is a shameless pervert –"

"There's nothing wrong with kissing!"

"– and Bubby is a failure of a father –"

"Raising a child is harder than it looks!"

"– I will be giving you the lesson you should have learned years ago, I suppose."

"Um… o-okay?" Emilia, the poor thing, looked hopelessly overwhelmed.

Subaru paled. Horrorstruck, he cried, "I can't do this! I can't be in here while you ruin Emilia-tan's innocence!"

Puck waved an accusatory paw in Subaru's face. "See? It's harder than it looks!"

"But you're the parent!" Subaru said emphatically. "It's _your_ job to give her The Talk!"

Beatrice shot them a glare. "That's enough, both of you, in fact." Directing all her ire at her contractor, she said, "I'm warning you, Subaru. If you do _any_ of this before you're married, then I will castrate you, I suppose."

"M-marriage?" whimpered Emilia. "Oh, dear…"

Subaru looked at her with utter betrayal. " _That's_ the part that worries you?"

"Quiet, I suppose," Beatrice snapped. "We're getting this lesson out of the way, _so we never have to talk about it again, in fact._ Got it, I suppose?"

A chorus of fearful nods answered her question. "Good, in fact. Now, we start with –"

What followed was a lesson that scarred them for life.

"Oh, my," whispered Emilia in horror. "That was, um…"

"The most embarrassing conversation of my life." Subaru's finished for her, his face as white as chalk.

Puck looked like he'd been punched in the gut. "I can pinpoint the exact moment Lia's innocence was destroyed."

A moment of silence passed for Emilia's innocence.

"W-well…" she said shakily, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else. A certain distance was now between her and Subaru, and she refused to look at him. "...at least we know you're not my ancestor."

He shivered at the mere thought. "Gee, good to know I don't have the hots for my granddaughter."

"To be fair," interjected Beatrice, ignoring Subaru's scathing look, "we don't know that, in fact. All we know is that you didn't have a baby at that moment, I suppose. You could still be Emilia's ancestor."

Subaru sobered. "Trust me. Not an ounce of my blood runs in Emilia-tan's veins." He shifted uncomfortably as he admitted. "Satella and I never… yeah."

Puck frowned. "You didn't have…" He waved his arms frantically as a euphemism. Subaru shook his head, so Puck asked, "But weren't you together?"

"We were, but…" Subaru scratched roughly at his arm through his sleeve and Beatrice's eyes locked onto the abrupt action. "...neither of us felt comfortable revealing any skin."

The room went quiet.

Emilia gazed at him in pity. "The scars," she realized.

He managed a nod. "Even though I'm not burnt anymore, I don't… My arms have…" He took a shuddering breath as self-loathing overtook him. "Let's just say I'm not much better than I was before. An experience like that…"

"It left an impact," she whispered in understanding.

He nodded. There was nothing else to say.

Despite her prior embarrassment, she took his hand. No matter what, she cared about him, and she would be there for him.

That's just who she was.

* * *

_It was midnight. Satella was never out this late._

_Normally, Subaru waited in their room, but he had a bad feeling about that night. Something was dreadfully wrong._

_It was like she was calling for help._

_Eventually, he gave in. He burst open the door and made his way through the lab._

_He broke his promise to Satella. He didn't give a shit._

_The mana permeating the air was enough to overwhelm any normal human. Luckily, Subaru did not have a human body._

_It had been torn to shreds long ago._

" _It's beautiful!" he heard Echidna exclaim from the back room as he darted towards it. "The love of the world itself, so purely concentrated in this one girl!"_

_He reached for the doorknob but stayed his hand. He wanted nothing more than to go in._

… _But now he had a chance to learn what the hell was happening here._

" _The forbidden magics despised by the Od Laguna, all possible because of this girl! True soul transcription, resurrection, immortality! The butterflies in my stomach… The thumping of my heart… If this is not true love, then what is? Finally, I can –"_

_A pause. Subaru's breath hitched._

" _It's not nice to eavesdrop on a maiden in love," Echidna said serenely as if she hadn't been raving like a lunatic. "Please, come in, Flugel."_

_He creaked open the door. He_ _hadn't known_ _what to expect, but it wasn't… this. The room was clean, sterile. It looked like an operating room instead of the den of a mad scientist._ _There, laying on a table in the center of the room, was Satella. It looked like she was sleeping peacefully, and not a single_ _cut_ _was visible._

_But he knew better._

" _What did you do to her?" he angrily asked as he focused his ire on the Witch in front of him. She didn't look at him, choosing instead to gaze intently at the two gently glowing vials in her hand. "Answer me, Echidna!"_

_"Oh, nothing much," she said flippantly. She cradled the vials - one silver and one purple - like a woman would her lover._ _"Right now, Satella is merely... a conduit."_

_"A conduit?"_

_She nodded, though her focus wasn't truly on him. "You see, the Od Laguna, the heart of the world, forbids certain magics," she lectured. "As a Witch, I am loathed by the world, and can therefore overcome those loved by it, but even I cannot violate the Od Laguna's sacred laws."_

_Still not looking at him, she continued: "But this girl… She violates all the restrictions. She is not merely loved by the world... She is_ above _its jurisdiction. So, if I wanted to perform a soul transcription without blood relation to the vessel, I could simply use Satella.  
_

 _His eyes widened. "You don't mean_ – _"_

" _First, I need to perpetuate her soul through her bloodline." She focused on the silver vial and gazed at it with devotion. It didn't look like anything was in it, but he could_ feel _that something was there. He lunged for it, and she blasted him back with a quick_ "Fura."

_It was not enough to truly hurt him, but it didn't need to be. It was merely a warning._

" _None of that," she scolded. "Do you know how difficult it is to take_ half _a soul? I've worked for a decade to get this."_

" _You wasted your time." He smirked despite the fear coursing through him as he mocked, "Bloodline? Gimme a break. Satella doesn't have any kids."_

" _That doesn't matter." She held up the purple vial, this one with a viscous fluid splashing inside it. "Satella's blood, carefully curated over seven lunar eclipses. A simple bonding ritual with another female elf will do the trick. The perfect recipient has already been found; one that is already with child."_

 _Echidna held the vials to her bosom, stroking them like one would a lover's cheek. "It's quite simple. If the blood bonds, we sever the vessel's soul from the body – a much easier process than_ half _a soul, mind you – and replace it with half of Satella's soul. I will perform a ritual to stabilize her, for one cannot live for long with only half a soul. After completion of the ritual, I will transcribe my soul and the remainder of Satella's into the vessel, encapsulating mine within hers._

" _Don't you see?" She spread her arms wide, basking in the glory of her success. "True soul transcription without any blood relation to the target! An immortal existence with my maidenhood intact! Is there nothing more lovely, more perfect? My soul is in complete control while Satella's powers the body! My Od will never decrease, whereas hers is replenished with each new body! Never again will I be limited by the Od Laguna!"_

_She took a breath as if she'd never tasted fresh air before. "Ahh… True perpetuation of the soul. No longer am I limited by the passage of time." She turned to Subaru, grinning like a newlywed. "Wonderful, is it not? I have an eternity to learn and discover anything I wish."_

_Deep down, Subaru knew the proper reaction should be "You're insane!" or running in fear from the obvious psychopath, but that's not what came out of his mouth._

" _Why are you even telling me this?" he asked incredulously. He waved his arms around frantically, trying to get his point across. "It just makes it easier to stop you!"_

_Echidna stepped closer and he instinctively retreated. "And how would you do that?" she mocked. "Beg Satella to run away with you?"_

" _Yes!" he wanted to yell but couldn't. He'd been trying for six months, and it was clear that Echidna was aware of his pathetic attempts, and even more aware of the hold she had over Satella. "I-I'll fight you myself!" he shouted instead. "I won't let you get away with this!"_

_"Truly?" She seemed interested now, as her eyes locked onto his for the first time. "You think a child with rudimentary training can stand up to a Witch?"_

_Subaru had seen genuine emotion on Echidna's face twice before. The first, when he walked in and saw her lovingly gazing at the vials she cradled in those delicate fingers._

_The second was being directed at him. It was like she had never seen him before, but now that she had, she was utterly enthralled._

_"You have no idea what I'd do for Ella," he hissed, trying to convey as much hatred as possible. "I would die a million times for her."_

_"A bold claim," she murmured, a gloomy expression marring her otherworldly beauty. "I long for the day you will say such things about me."_

_He reeled back in shock, or perhaps disgust. "What the hell are you talking about, you Witch?"_

_"If you spoke about me like that..." she murmured distantly, "...Why, I'm not sure my poor, maidenly heart could handle it."_

_He didn't know what he felt more of: rage, desperation, or confusion. One moment she's raving about immortality, casually discussing her plans to murder the woman he loved, and the next she's some lovestruck schoolgirl? Did she suddenly think he was someone else?_

_What is it that she saw in his eyes?_

_Unfortunately, he would receive no answers. "It's a shame I have to leave now," she said wistfully. "Things were just getting interesting."_

_With that, she turned and walked away, resuming a businesslike manner. "Project Sanctuary is complete and at near-maximum capacity. I must go there and prepare the vessel. Upon completion of the soul transcription, you and I shall live out our days there."_

_"W-wait!" he called out. Wasn't this where they were supposed to have their ultimate showdown or something like that? The bad guy isn't supposed to walk away! He could –_

_Nothing. He could do nothing._

_Fire filled his mind's eye. Even though he wanted to, it wasn't like he could stop her. For all his talk about dying for Satella, he only had one life._

_So, what? He was supposed to let Echidna murder Satella?_

_Like hell, he would._

_Echidna stopped by the door, her pale hand resting on the frame. "Goodbye, Flugel," she said with genuine sincerity. "I look forward to learning from you."_

_The door shut behind her with a soft click, and Subaru finally allowed himself to cry._

_Useless. He was completely and utterly useless._

_He gathered Satella up in his arms and carried her back to their room. Cradling her limp form to his chest, he reaffirmed his promise, albeit with more urgency attached to it._

_"I will save you."_

_He set her on the bed and prepared to dress her wounds. He lifted her sleeve and… and…_

* * *

"A-and so I… when I –" Subaru couldn't do it. He broke down. Just thinking about the wounds on her body was too much. "Th-there were so many that day… and the b-blood…"

Emilia held him close, drawing circles on his back. "I think that's enough for now," she said quietly. "Don't you agree? We can finish this over the next few days."

Subaru nodded. A break sounded nice.

"I second that," said Puck, shaking his head to clear it. "This is a bit too much. I mean, are you _sure_ this is the Witch of Envy we're talking about?"

Subaru shook his head. "I haven't even gotten to the Witch. We're talking about Satella."

Puck furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought there was no difference."

"There is when incompatible Witch Factors are involved," said Subaru, refusing to meet Puck's eyes. "It's not Satella's fault."

Puck shook his head to clear it. "I've heard tales of people going mad from Witch Factors… I must have never considered that Satella would be included. I believe I've heard enough to make a fair judgment of her character."

Subaru raised his eyes to look at Puck. "And? What's the verdict?"

"Let's just say I wish I remember her." Puck's eyes flicked to Emilia for a moment before snapping back to Subaru's. "Is she…"

"Yeah."

"…Huh." Absorbed in his thoughts, Puck barely managed to wave goodbye before floating out of the room.

Instead of saying anything aloud, Beatrice came up to Subaru and grabbed his hand. Too ashamed to speak the words aloud, she told him, _'I'm sorry for not seeing the truth, I suppose.'_

 _'It's not your fault,'_ he soothed, unable to stand such a look on the spirit's face. _'We kept it from you.'_

She didn't look happy per se but seemed mollified for the moment. She vanished, leaving him and Emilia alone.

"Um…"  
"So…"

They looked at each other for a moment.

"Can we agree that Beatrice's lesson never happened?"

"What lesson?"

The two shared a grin before Emilia turned solemn. "I know I said we were done for today, but –"

"You want to know how we got out of there," he finished for her.

Her eyes widened. "How did you know what I was going to ask?"

"Because I like you," he said cheekily.

She blushed, stuttering out, "That's not a real answer!"

He put a finger on his chin and pretended to think. "Hmm... How about 'EMT is cute'?"

She huffed as she lightly scolded, "Stop teasing me and tell me what happened."

He took a deep breath. "All right, fine. Just… give me a moment. Confronting her was… Well, she didn't take it with a smile."

* * *

_Satella was heartbroken._

_Every day, Subaru worked as hard as he could to convince her to leave the mansion with him. He was on the verge of a breakthrough, he could tell. After all, Beatrice wasn't in danger. The only one who would be hurt was Satella._

_They would miss Beatrice, sure, but Subaru was selfish. He cared about Satella first and foremost, and he would destroy the world to protect her._

_Still, it wasn't enough. Every time he took a step closer to freeing her, she ran three steps back._ " _You don't understand," she would stubbornly declare, though her voice had begun to waver. "We wouldn't even be having this conversation if not for Mo- Echidna._ _"_

_He'd tell Satella that she was sacrificing herself for a madwoman. She simply felt she was paying her dues._

_He'd that her life had value and that she shouldn't throw it away, but she didn't believe him._

_One day, Subaru wondered if HE was the problem. He told her to run away on her own and leave him behind. After all, as long as she lived, everything would be okay._

_He had never seen somebody cry so much. He promised himself then and there to_ never _suggest anything like that ever again._

_Still, there was one thing left to try. Something he'd been thinking about since their first date and finally d_ _ecided on_ _a couple of months prior. Something that, as soon as he told her, convinced her that maybe, just maybe, life was worth living. Something to give her light after a life of darkness, guiding her to the freedom she so desperately wanted._

_Something that Echidna was incapable of understanding, and as such, could never have foreseen._

" _Marry me, Ella."_

* * *

"So, uh…" He refused to look at Emilia. "Yeah."

"That's…"

He couldn't begin to imagine how she must be feeling. "I mean, I'm not going to _apologize_ for getting married in a past life, but, I mean, I'd understand if –"

_"That's so sweet!"_

He whipped around to face her. Tears leaked from her eyes as she stared off somewhere into the distance. "Saved from the depths of despair by the love of her life, escaping the evil Witch's clutches… It's so beautiful!"

He rubbed the back of his neck, muttering, "Since when is my Emilia-tan such a hopeless romantic?"

"I want a knight in shining armor to save me from danger!" she gushed.

"We're _literally_ talking about me, right?!"

She giggled. "Speaking of knights, Roswaal is taking waaay too long to set up your ceremony."

"I mean, it's only been about a week," he pointed out.

"Meaning you earned it a week ago." Decisively, she said, "That's it; I'm making you my knight, whether Roswaal is ready or not!"

He laughed at her enthusiasm. "Well, when you put it like that, how can I refuse?"

She grinned and pulled at his hand. "Come on! We need to get ready!"

"Hold on," he said, stopping her before she got too far ahead. "I need to tell you one last thing."

She turned around and beamed at him. "I know what it is."

"Y-you do?"

"Mhm. I don't understand all of it," she admitted, "but I'm descended from that vessel, aren't I? My soul is Satella's. Or, well, half of it."

He gawked at her. "H-how did you know what I was going to say?"

"Because I like you, dummy," she echoed, blushing slightly but smiling as wide as ever before.

His mouth flopped open and closed like a fish out of water. At length, he cried out, "How are you not having an existential crisis? This is a life-altering revelation!"

She shrugged. "What can I say? Things are easier to accept when you're around."

He chuckled nervously, and said, "I'm not sure if that means I'm comforting, or you're used to my bullshit."

A sly smile spread across her lips. "A little bit of both." She tugged on his hand. "Now, come with me, my knight. We have a ceremony to attend."


	14. Wives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for becoming the chapter title in less than a year from now.

_"So, this is it."_

_"Mhm."_

_"Do what you must. I'll be waiting."_

_Ten years. Satella had spent ten years in this place._

_The laboratory represented everything she hated about it._

_She ran her fingers over the various instruments and tools, face blank. She picked up a silver device and eyed it carefully._

_It disintegrated under her gaze._

_One by one, Satella picked up every object and destroyed it. Even the tables and counters didn't stand a chance. Subaru didn't dare consider what was going through her head._

_The little he had seen was more than enough for him to guess._

_Finally, she returned to his side and grabbed his hand. "Let's go," she said flatly. He nodded and began to walk away._

_Suddenly, Satella twisted out of his grip, whipping around to face the lab. There were no words, no incantations. Just a scream of anger and grief that birthed a raging inferno of destruction._

_"Ten years!" she screamed. "I followed you for_ ten years! _I was a good daughter! I did everything right!" Explosions wracked the room as a decade of pain was unleashed. "I just wanted you to love me!_ WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!"

 _Subaru tried to reach her, but a wall of flames blocked his access. Unlike before, these were controlled._ "Don't get any closer," _they said. After all, he was not the target._

_It felt like hours later but was likely only minutes. What was once a prestigious laboratory was now cinders and ash. No other parts of the mansion were damaged, for none had caused her such pain. The flames vanished, and Subaru held Satella as she broke down._

_When Satella agreed to marry him, he thought they won. The power of love triumphed over their foe. Echidna wouldn't become immortal, and Satella would no longer be her puppet. Now, as he held the broken girl in his arms, he realized the truth._

_Everyone had lost._

* * *

"Oh, Patrasche," Subaru muttered, hugging the ground dragon's side. "You're the only one who understands me. Let's run away together."

"Quit your flirting, I suppose," snapped Beatrice. "I'm trying to read _101 Ways to Defeat a Mabeast_ , in fact."

"Let me guess: Number One is to be a drill loli?"

 _"Stop! Using! Fake! Words!"_ she growled. "That's an insult to a librarian, I suppose!"

He held back a chuckle and resumed petting Patrasche. It was a beautiful day out, and he was content to simply relax. "Shame that these lazy days are about to end. We have to leave for the capital tomorrow."

Beatrice gave a long-suffering sigh as she grumbled, "You're not going to let me read, are you?"

"Nah, I want attention," he admitted shamelessly.

She gave a slight "hmph," but put down her book regardless. "Betty is cute, so it's understandable, I suppose. What did you want to talk about, I wonder?" He barely opened his mouth before she cut him off. "If the answer involves Emilia, I'm going back to my book, in fact."

"But Beako," he whined. "You _know_ she's my favorite topic!"

"I do, which is why we talked about her a dozen times today, I suppose." She tried to look annoyed, but Subaru ruffled her hair and she blushed.

Four hundred years of isolation made one particularly sensitive to affection.

"That's true," he conceded. "Thanks for dealing with my shit, Beako."

"I-it's difficult for Betty, but Subaru is Betty's contractor, so –"

 _"E·M·T!"_ he shouted, startling her. A barrage of projectiles smashed against his hastily conjured shield.

"Shit," he growled. "She caught us off guard. _Ul Shamak!_ "

A dark purple cloud exploded around their opponent.

"We have about three seconds before she breaks out," he informed her.

"I know, in fact. We've done this to her before, I suppose." She held her arm out and shouted, _"El Minya!_ "

Forty crystalline spears of purple flame rocketed towards the epicenter of the cloud, but it never reached its mark. Four soldiers, composed entirely of ice and outfitted with armor and weapons, fearlessly charged towards them. Her spear encapsulated the first, but the others blocked it with their shields.

Thinking quickly, she grabbed his hand and teleported him away.

Amused despite the situation, he asked, "Isn't this the exact same hedge we hid in against Capella? Is this your go-to or something?"

"No time for jokes, I suppose. I'm going to tell you what I want, and I need you to visualize it, in fact."

"Then you'll push the mana through me and I'll cast it, using your gate as a conduit. I know the drill. As per our agreement, I get to name the new spell."

Subaru knew that was her least favorite part, but that's why he insisted on it.

Beatrice finished telling him her idea and he gave her a strange look.

"I mean, that's cool and all, but it's not exactly original. It's just 'what they're doing but better.'"

"Who cares, I wonder?" she said grumpily. "I'm sick of her ice soldiers, in fact! That brat needs a taste of her own medicine, I suppose!"

Subaru was about to respond, but the ground rumbling stopped him up short. Peeking through the hedges, he let out a curse. "About three dozen soldiers of the headless variant coming straight at us. You ready for this?"

She nodded. "Ready, I suppose."

"Using my powers as a shut-in nerd, I will now –"

"Just do it!" she snapped.

"All right, all right, geez…"

He saw it in his mind's eye, towering above them and crushing their enemies under its feet. The weapons it wielded could siege a fortress and lay waste to a city. Mere infantry would weep in terror. Victory would be theirs.

Hand in hand, spirit and contractor stepped out of the hedges and faced the approaching militia. With practiced ease, Beatrice provided Subaru with raw, unfiltered mana and he gave it form. Pushing it through Beatrice's gate with all his might, Subaru shouted a spell of their own creation:

_"E·M·B!"_

A gigantic soldier, formed entirely of shadows but as solid as stone, lumbered towards the approaching army. The shadow soldier held out its arm, firing _Minyas_ at record speeds.

The army of ice was decimated in seconds. How fitting for _"Emilia-tan is seriously a badass."_

"Holy shit," Subaru whispered in awe. "Forget about originality… we just made a Gundam!"

Not a moment after he said that, the giant soldier collapsed in on itself and faded into nothingness.

"Can't… too much…" Beatrice gasped from beside him. Taking his eyes off where his soldier fell, Subaru knelt beside Beatrice.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "That took a lot out of you, didn't it?"

She nodded, heaving all the while. "Huge construct… Lots of _Minyas_ … All cast remotely… I suppose… Betty's almost out… of mana... in fact."

"You did amazing." It wasn't an empty consolation. His entire body thrummed with admiration and affection. "Go back to the Forbidden Library and recover, all right?"

She gazed at him worriedly. "Will you… be okay?"

He smiled smugly. "Don't you worry about your contractor. Something tells me I'll make it out alive."

Seemingly mollified for the time being, Beatrice vanished.

Before he could stand up, a knife made purely of ice pressed itself against his throat. The cool tip dug into his skin, but not enough to draw blood. "You shouldn't turn your back against the enemy," his assailant chided.

"I'll keep that in mind," responded Subaru without a care in the world. "So, do you yield?"

He could imagine the frown on her face and the furrowing of her eyebrows as if she were in front of him. "But… I have a knife at your throat. Doesn't that mean – _oof!_ "

She clutched her stomach, reeling back. Subaru stood up and made a show of dusting off his pants. "It means nothing if I have a full range of movement. You left your stomach vulnerable to attack. Next time you should – damn it, woman, I'm trying to talk!"

Subaru jumped back, dodging a slice to his stomach. It reminded him a bit too much of Elsa if he was honest.

"I may have left my stomach open, but you left your entire body vulnerable while you gloated."

"Deconstructing tropes as we spar? You really are one of a kind." He pulled out E·M·H, the ruby-encrusted dagger he won in the fight against Capella, and smirked. "Bring it."

He lost in three seconds.

"Oh, come on!" He was pinned to the ground, a knee in his stomach, and a knife at his throat. His dagger had been flung across the courtyard. "I make a Gundam and I _still_ lose?"

"I don't know what a Gundam is, but I'm impressed," his assailant complimented. "You've improved a lot, Subaru!"

He groaned and let his head hit the stone under him. "EMT's already gone into consolation mode…"

Emilia giggled a bit and helped Subaru up. "I mean it, Subaru. You've improved sooo much since we started sparring. I even had to try this time!"

He grimaced. "That was, quite possibly, the most emasculating thing you've ever said to me."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to compliment you, dummy."

"Duly noted," he grouched.

She grabbed his hand and dragged him inside. "Conjuring all those ice soldiers made me hungry. Let's go see what Rem's making."

He looked confused but followed, nonetheless. "But… you're _never_ hungry after our fights."

She turned to him with a blinding smile. "As I said, I had to try reeaally hard to beat you this time. That giant soldier was super-duper impressive!"

"No one says super-duper anymore."

"I'm being serious!" she insisted. "If you weren't such a good teacher, I'm not sure I could have won."

"You're underestimating yourself, Emilia-tan," he retorted. Still, he had to give himself some credit. He _did_ teach her some cool spells. Of course, many of those spells came from a now-defunct timeline, but she didn't need to know that.

"Mhm. Maybe, but you can't deny that I still have a long way to go without Puck."

That was true. After regaining her memories, Emilia remembered how to cast magic without a spirit. It was… a work-in-progress, to say the least. Not only was it a lot less controlled, but Emilia had no idea what to do with all the mana inside of her. Some days, it became too much, and Puck had to absorb more than usual just to keep Emilia sane.

On the plus side, Beatrice was able to drain Emilia's excess mana as well, so his super-powerful loli was even more powerful.

"Speaking of Puck, where is he? I feel like every day, I see him less and less." Normally, the cat spirit was hiding in Emilia's hair, so he started pulling it apart like curtains, calling for Puck.

She batted his hand away with a small scowl. "Not in public."

He huffed at her prudishness. Then again, he wasn't much better. "You act like that's PDA or something. I play with Beatrice's hair all the time."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, but Beatrice isn't your girlfriend."

Subaru stopped short, and Emilia turned to him, concerned. "What's wrong?"

A grin threatened to split his face in two. "Nothing, I'm just… still getting used to…" he gestured wildly between the two of them.

Her eyes danced with mirth. "It's been over three months and you _still_ act like that?"

"To be fair, it feels like I've been waiting a _lot_ longer for you to like me, so forgive me for being excited."

"You're sooo weird, Subaru," she said, amused.

"But I'm _your_ … Wait, that doesn't work with an adjective!" He grabbed his face in mock-frustration. "My flirtatious actions have been ruined by grammar!"

"You're my knight," she said affectionately. "That's good enough for me."

"Gah! EMT always has the perfect response!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I know it's stupid." She gently grasped the pyroxene crystal around her neck. "Anyway, about Puck… He's sleeping right now."

Subaru scratched his head. "But he's still on the clock."

"Mhm, but as you know, I've not been giving him all of my mana, so we modified our contract," she explained. "I can still talk to him, but he doesn't take a physical form for more than an hour or two a day."

He felt distinctly uncomfortable, so he cautiously asked, "And how do you two feel about that?"

She looked at Subaru quizzically before understanding filled her gaze. "It's not your fault, Subaru," she reassured him.

"But your memories –"

"Puck was upset at first, but he 'loves his little Lia more than ever.' I mean, it's not like I never see him. He still does my hair every morning, and I always give him a reeaally big hug before bed. He just doesn't need to worry about my protection as much now that I'm stronger." She looked down and smiled fondly at the crystal. "Honestly, Puck was always asleep when I needed him most, so it's not that big of a difference. I think he likes this arrangement even better now that he's used to it."

Subaru nodded, not entirely swayed, but he managed to stop himself from going into another spiral of self-pity. "What about you? Are you… okay with all this?"

She squeezed his hand, stopping just outside the dining hall. "I miss his constant presence, but it's okay. It's not like he's gone. And I'm sooo happy I have my memories back. Because of you, I remember Mother Fortuna and Father Juice. I know what really happened in the forest. I can do magic on my own, and I'm a stronger person." She smiled at him, and his breath caught in his throat. "You're smart Subaru. How do you _think_ I feel?"

A lump formed in his throat, but he managed to speak past it. "Happy," he admitted at length.

"Ecstatic," she corrected. "And it's all thanks to you. Now, we have the chance to save Juice."

That was... not a fun conversation to have.

Even knowing that Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti was the Sin Archbishop of Sloth, and being aware of the danger he possessed, Emilia walked out of the mansion right there and then, saying she was "going to bring him back."

It took Subaru tackling her, Beatrice trapping her in a cage of shadows, and Puck forcibly draining her remaining mana to get her in a state where they could discuss things reasonably.

But now, they had a plan. The only issue was that it required patience, and both Subaru and Emilia _hated_ the long game.

There were so many things Subaru wanted to do, and he wanted to do them _now_. He wanted to see Meili and apologize for his actions. He didn't know where she went, but he hoped she was safe. Despite everything they went through, he truly cared about her, even if he had no right to.

He wanted to see Shaula. His apprentice, his friend, his stalwart ally. The one who deserved his achievements more than he ever did. She was always there for him, but as the Sage, he rejected her kindness. He rejected _everything_ , including his sanity, in favor of saving the one he loved.

He hated himself for that.

He left a kind, sweet girl alone in a tower. She was like a fairy tale princess, but no prince would come to save her. Until they found Meili, they couldn't cross the desert, and even then, he couldn't return Shaula's love.

He still wanted to give her a hug and apologize for being such an asshole to her. Her, Geuse, everyone… He was so horrible to them. He didn't deserve their forgiveness, and he never would.

He scratched his arm roughly but didn't pull back his sleeve. Emilia didn't need to see the scars. He plastered a smile on his face. "It would be nice to see Geuse again. We have a lot to catch up on."

"Mhm. And I have sooo many questions to ask him." She flashed the smile he adored so much, and the pain went away for a moment. "I'm glad you and I both remembered our pasts in time. I mean, could you imagine having to fight him without knowing the truth?"

Subaru was struck with a sudden coughing fit, and Emilia hovered over him like a concerned mother. "A-are you okay? Here, let me get some water. Oh, I'm so glad we're right near the kitchen!"

He waved her off. "D-don't worry about me. Just a bit of dust." He changed the subject. "So, you ready to leave tomorrow?"

Emilia nodded. "Rem packed me last week."

He managed a smile at the thought of the maid. She was always on top of it, wasn't she? "Same here. Can't believe we're finally going to the Royal Selection. It's exciting, huh?"

"I guess so…" she trailed off.

"But?"

"...I'm nervous," she admitted. "I've been training for over a year, but I don't feel any more prepared."

"You're right," he said flippantly. "You're not prepared at all."

She reeled back, betrayed. "Hey! I've been studying nonstop! I know every major historical event in the past four hundred years and the profile of all relevant political figures. I've practiced my speech hundreds of times and –" she cut herself off upon seeing the look on Subaru's face. "You tricked me."

Subaru looked smug. "Pretty good, huh? If I said that you were ready, you wouldn't believe me. However, if _you_ acknowledged how prepared you are…"

Emilia blinked before a smile lit up her face. "That's evil."

"But I'm _your_ … Wait, that doesn't work either!"

Laughter like a silver bell filled the air and he couldn't help but join in.

The next day, Subaru hopped into the dragon-drawn carriage, giving Patrasche a grateful pat along the way.

"It's about three to four hours to get to the capital," he told her, "but something tells me you'll get there in two."

Patrasche brayed as if saying, "Damn right, I will!"

Subaru, in full regalia, plopped down in the passenger seat beside Rem. You ready for this?"

Rem met his eyes with a smile and his breath caught in his throat. This may not be _his_ Rem, but her smile still made his stomach do flips.

_'I really am a piece of shit, huh?'_

"I'm only here as a maid," she told him, oblivious to his thoughts. "If anything, I should be asking you that, _Sir Subaru_."

He groaned. "I told you to stop calling me that! You're my friend, not one of the village kids!" She giggled but didn't apologize. "And besides, I'll be fine. I'm feeling demonically inspired!"

She raised her eyebrows. "Demonically inspired?"

"It's just a thing I sometimes say. When I ask the divine for help, I get beaten to a bloody pulp. When I ask a demon for help, a badass ninja maid comes running in to save the day. I tend to appreciate the latter a lot more."

Rem tried to respond but settled on a nod and a half-smile. Subaru knew her well enough to know that meant, "Don't worry, I'm not upset at you, but I'd like to be left alone with my thoughts." So, he went into the carriage and waited for Beatrice and Emilia.

It didn't take long. Blond curls filled his vision as a weight settled in his lap. "Betty will sit here, I suppose. The other seats are taken, in fact."

"The carriage can seat ten, and there's no one else in here," he pointed out.

She glared up at him. "Are you telling me to get off, I suppose?"

"Nope. Just giving you a hard time."

It was his favorite activity, after all.

He leaned back and relaxed. "Nice of Reinhard to invite us to stay at his place."

"It's not surprising, I suppose. You defeated the Bowel Hunter and the Sin Archbishop of Lust, in fact."

"I didn't –"

" _And_ you refused the reward, saying that you only wanted the word to get out that people are 'safe because of a half-elf,' I suppose. You could have had anything, and you instead decided to help Emilia with her campaign."

He grimaced. "It was the least I could do. The reward should have gone to you two. Emilia killed Elsa, and you _deleted Capella from existence_."

"Neither of which would have been possible if not for you." Emilia arrived and slid into the seat beside him. "You're more capable than you believe."

"This is coming from the girl who beat me in three seconds this morning."

"That's sad, I suppose," Beatrice agreed solemnly.

Emilia huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Don't think I'm letting you off easy, mister! Your self-esteem needs some work. So, I need you to…" She thought for a moment before brightening and holding up a single finger. "...say one good thing about yourself!"

"That's basically the definition of letting someone off easy!"

"Oh, really?" she asked slyly. "Prove it."

Subaru puffed up his chest and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He frowned and started to think.

_'This should be easy, right? I'm good at… huh. I can't do magic, and Beatrice doesn't count because that's her skills, not mine. Weaponry? The Sword Demon himself couldn't teach me how to use a blade, and I'm mediocre with a whip._

_'What about other skills? I mean, I'm good at sewing, but I'm supposed to be a knight fighting the Witch's Cult. What the hell is embroidery going to do against Pandora?_

_'What else… I'm funny, right? Then again, I can't remember the last time I made someone laugh with one of my jokes. Normally, Emilia only giggles when I'm being stupid. I can't claim to be a good boyfriend, because I'm a scumbag when it comes to women. Seriously, I'm a married man with a girlfriend and I'm still pining after a comatose girl that doesn't exist anymore. Real chivalrous, Sir Knight. Damn, do I have ANYTHING going for me?'_

He had to hurry up or Emilia would realize that this was doing more harm than good.

Subaru put a hand on his chin and pretended to think. Suddenly, his face lit up. "I know! I've never lost a game of chess!"

"What's chess, I wonder?" Beatrice asked.

"It's a foreign game that I've never played," he answered simply.

"So, you've never won a game, in fact!"

He smirked. "As I said, I've never lost a game."

With both girls successfully distracted by his stupidity, Subaru leaned back in his seat. He may have just survived his most challenging ordeal yet.

A little under two hours later, Rem grabbed their attention.

"We've almost arrived," she informed them. "Is everyone ready?"

Emilia looked confused. "I'm ready, but I'm afraid I don't understand. We're not supposed to be at the capital for another hour or two."

Subaru grinned. "Ah, it seems you're forgetting one critical piece of information, Emilia-tan."

"I am?"

He nodded sagely and said, "You see, we're riding Patrasche, and she's the greatest ground dragon in existence!"

Patrasche let out a proud bray.

"See? She agrees."

Beatrice rolled her eyes. "I still don't know how you found her, I suppose."

"I told you. I prayed to the heavens above and an angel sent Patrasche."

"I'm hurt, Subaru," teased Rem from the driver's seat. "I thought you only prayed to demons."

"No, I _prefer_ praying to demons. I mean, sure, I got Patrasche, but in return, Capella almost murdered me. Never made that kind of trade with a demon before."

Emilia pouted. "I don't like how casually you can talk about death " She squinted and looked outside the carriage. "Hey, Rem? Do you see something up ahead?"

Subaru could hear the frown in Rem's voice. "Now that you mention it, there seems to be some smoke coming from the capital."

"Perhaps there's a festival, I suppose. Or maybe someone burnt their food, in fact. It could be anything, I suppose."

"Uh, guys?" Subaru's eyes shifted nervously. "You're setting some _really_ bad flags right now."

Rem ignored Subaru's complaint and urged Patrasche to go even faster. "There's a caravan up ahead. I'll ask them for information. Please, wait inside the carriage until I return."

Ten minutes later, Rem still hadn't come back.

Emilia sighed. "Subaru, please stop pacing."

"I can't!" he snapped before letting out a sigh. "Sorry, it's just… I don't like the flags we set."

She cocked her head to the side. "Um… what?"

"It's a Subaru-ism, I suppose," Beatrice helpfully supplied. "In normal people language, it means, 'I have a bad feeling about this.'"

"Do I really need a translator?!"

Rem came into the carriage, a solemn expression on her face. "I'm afraid that Subaru is right to be nervous. There was, um…" She fiddled with the hem of her dress, unsure of how to proceed. "Something terrible happened."

"It's okay, Rem," Emilia encouraged gently. "Whatever happened, I'm sure we can get through it."

Rem closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Over fifty women were killed in an explosion."

Emilia gasped and Beatrice's perpetual frown deepened.

Subaru began to panic. _"Only_ women?"

Rem frowned. "Yes, but –"

"Were all of them fair-skinned and between the ages of fifteen and thirty?" he asked quickly. "Did they all have nice faces?"

Slowly, as if to avoid disrespecting him, she said, "Subaru, I know there's a part of chivalry that involves respecting women, but this seems more like objectification than anything else."

"Just answer the question!" he screamed.

"S-Subaru, calm down!" Emilia put a hand on his arm to soothe him. "There's no need to shout at Rem."

Subaru pulled at his hair but forced himself to take a deep breath. "You're right. I'm sorry, Rem. I'm not mad at you. I just need you to answer my question."

Rem looked hesitant but, accepting the apology, gave what little information she had. "The merchants I talked to mentioned something about them all being young women who looked very similar."

Subaru's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. "Did the merchants say anything else?"

"Just that a white-haired man was –"

 _"Fuck_!"

The carriage's occupants flinched back at Subaru's outburst. "Subaru, what –"

"Why the fuck is he here? Why now? Was he here last time, too? How many mansions does this prick have? Damn it, damn it, damn it! We had a plan for all of them! Why the fuck does he have to ruin it? Things were going so well!"

"Wh-who –"

"But why would he kill his wives? That's so counterproductive! His Authority would –" Subaru paused his ranting as self-loathing overtook him. "It's because I'm here," he whispered, "isn't it?" He sat on the bench and held his face in his hands. "They're dead because of me."

Mournfully, he thought, _'I'm so sorry.'_

Emilia knelt in front of him and gently peeled his hands away from his face. "What's going on, Subaru?" She tried to catch his eye, but he kept looking away. "We can't help if we don't know what you're thinking. Please, let me in."

Subaru took a few shaky breaths. "Where's Reinhard?" he asked, avoiding Emilia's question for the time being.

Emilia frowned but answered anyway. "Don't you remember? His letter said he wouldn't be back until later today, though we were free to arrive in the morning."

"In other words, he's as reliable as Puck." Subaru sighed and sat back, defeated. "I guess that's it. Let's go home."

Emilia gaped. "Wh-what? But… the Royal Selection –"

"Doesn't start for a few days. If you step inside the city right now, you will die. Plain and simple. We'll wait for Reinhard to come back and defeat the threat."

After all, even if Lion's Heart wasn't working, Subaru's group of misfits couldn't do shit against Stillness of an Object's Time.

"Subaru…"

"We're. Going. Home. We'll come back when this is over. We can't do anything right now."

Emilia searched his eyes, looking for answers, and finding none. "I don't understand, but I trust you. Rem, let's head back for now."

"Yes, Miss Emilia." Rem cast Subaru a sideways glance but respected Emilia's wishes, nonetheless.

They rode in silence. Emilia gazed at Subaru worriedly, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

_'I'm a coward. Fucking pathetic.'_

Beatrice leaned in closer and wrapped her arms around one of his. Whether it was for comfort or to prevent him from scratching, he didn't know.

Keeping the conversation between spirit and contractor, Beatrice thought to him, _'I'm here if you want to talk, I suppose.'_

He nodded slightly. Emilia raised an eyebrow before realizing he was talking to Beatrice telepathically. She turned to give the two some privacy.

It seemed a bit silly to Subaru. She wouldn't be able to hear their conversation anyway, right? Still, he found that he appreciated the gesture. A telepathic conversation held all the nuances of a verbal one, and Emilia knew that. After all, she was a spiritualist as well. She knew the quirks of being a contractor better than anyone.

Just like how she knew that there were some things you could only tell your spirit.

 _'I'm scared, Beatrice,'_ he admitted shamefully. She waited patiently for him to continue. ' _I can't fight him. I'm weak. He'd kill all of us in an instant.'_

She rested her head on his shoulder. She knew that first, he needed to let it all out and that she shouldn't say anything. For now, her presence was more than enough.

His countless nightmares had taught her that much.

_'I'm such a coward, aren't I? I'm running before the fight even began. I just can't do it. I don't want any of you to die. I can't live without you. I love you all so much.'_

His eyes began to water, and she recognized it as her time to step in, bluntly saying, ' _You're right, I suppose. You're a coward, in fact.'_

He winced. ' _Geez, talk about kicking a man while he's down.'_

_'I don't care, I suppose. The man I contracted with is missing, so I won't bother being nice to a stranger, I suppose.'_

_'What are you talking about? I'm right here.'_

She shook her head. _'Betty's Subaru is constantly afraid, in fact. He is weak and cannot do much on his own, I suppose.'_

_'That's –'_

_'But Betty's Subaru has never backed down from a fight, I suppose. Betty's Subaru was dying, but he held on long enough to tell Betty he cared about her, in fact. No matter how afraid he was, my contractor never gave up, I suppose. He is the most courageous man I know.'_ She pulled back and glared at him, a fire burning deep within her eyes. _'_ _Tell me, stranger. Where is Betty's Subaru?'_

He wanted to deny everything she just said. He was her Subaru. He wasn't a stranger.

…But he'd be lying.

The real Subaru Natsuki never gave up.

A wonderful voice from long ago pierced his thoughts. _"Show me how amazing you can be, Subaru!"_

He reached out to pat Beatrice's head. Sensing his resolve, she let him. ' _Thank you, Beako. I –'_

Suddenly, she conjured a multi-colored shield that surrounded the carriage.

"What was that for?" he tried to ask, but the words died in his throat.

Beatrice, her face pallid and sweaty from exertion, had blocked an assault that would have otherwise killed all four of them.

Standing a short distance away, glaring at them – no, at _Subaru_ with hatred, was a white-haired man.

"That was supposed to have killed you, but you are still standing. All I was trying to do is take what was stolen from me, and you have the gall to refuse me my rights?"

They jumped out of the carriage, prepared for a fight. "Who are you?" asked a shaken Emilia. "Why did you attack us?" Her eyes widened in fear. "W-wait, I know you…"

"Interrupting me? That is a violation of my right to speak! I was considering taking you for a wife because you have a nice face, but that voice of yours makes me angry, and I do not deserve to be angry."

The entire time he spoke, the man did not move an inch. His golden eyes – and the killer intent within them – never drifted away from Subaru.

"I am a Sin Archbishop of the Witch's Cult, representing Greed… Regulus Corneas. I've been looking for you, _thief_."


	15. Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone made an appreciation post for this story on Reddit, and it made my day. You're all amazing.  
> Special thanks to my fiancé for editing this chapter. You're the best choice I ever made, and every single sappy line is inspired by you.

Emilia stepped back in shock. "It's you," she whispered as dread overtook her voice. "You and Pandora destroyed my home!"

For a moment, Regulus's attention turned towards Emilia. "How do you know Lady Pandora? A spineless, gutless, brainless child such as yourself cannot know that name! That is a right only the highest of the high may attain, and –"

"You just _love_ to hear yourself talk, don't you?" said Subaru, stepping forward with his head held high.

"How _dare_ –"

"You know, a few minutes ago, I was planning on running away," he said flippantly. "Then, I remembered how your voice makes me want to punch your face in."

"You insolent –"  
"Son of a –"  
"I will –"  
"Your mother –"  
"Stop interrupting –"  
" _El Minya!"_

Forty flaming spears of shadow shot towards Regulus, but he didn't bother dodging.

After all, there's no point evading an attack if you're invincible.

"H-how?" Rem managed to ask.

"It's called 'Stillness of an Object's Time,'" answered Subaru. "He's completely invulnerable."

Regulus killed his wives, meaning he discovered that Lion's Heart wasn't working. Surely, that would mean that his invincibility was gone.

Except it wasn't.

"Then how do you beat him, I wonder?" The air in front of them shifted and Beatrice conjured another shield. Subaru could tell that she was struggling under the weight of Regulus's assault.

"You can't," he said flatly.

"But –"

"He's right," confirmed Emilia. Her gaze was steely as she glared resolutely at her foe. "But that doesn't mean we're going to back down, are we?"

Despite everything, Subaru grinned. "When you put it like that, how can I do anything but push forward?"

Rem readied her flail with a manic gleam in her eyes as her horn glowed on her forehead. "I'm always prepared to kill a Witch Cultist."

He suppressed a shiver. "Rem, have I ever told you that you're kinda scary?"

"Many times."

He turned to Beatrice. "I'm thinking Cor Leonis, Second Shift. What do you say?"

Her perpetual frown deepened. "So, we're going to stand aside and let the others fight, I wonder?"

"Well, it's not like you have much mana leftover from that new spell we made yesterday," he pointed out as she flinched. It was a blow to her pride, he knew that, but he couldn't risk her getting hurt. "You know how much I hate asking you to share my burden."

She visibly deflated, saying, "Which is how I know that this is our only option, I suppose."

"Glad we're on the same page." He faced Emilia and Rem, who were looking at him expectantly. "All right, just like we've been practicing. Commence Operation Rigel, Formation Six."

Rem gripped her flail tighter. "I can't wait. On your mark."

He nodded. "Three… two… one… _now!_ " he shouted.

Beatrice dropped her shield as Subaru activated Cor Leonis, Second Shift. Rem whipped her flail in a wide arc as it flew behind Regulus, wrapping back around him multiple times. The ground around Regulus erupted, knocking Rem's attack off course.

"This is rude! Disrespectful! I am simply trying to take back what was stolen from me, and I am being attacked! My rights are –"

" _Al Huma!"_ A ten-meter-long spear of ice courtesy of Emilia rammed right into Regulus's face, but all it did was make him angrier.

"Emilia!" Subaru called out. "Less power, continuous strikes! We need to keep him occupied!"

"Got it!" she yelled back. " _El Huma! El Huma! El Huma!_ "

Emilia cast unrelenting ice spears at Regulus while Rem continued attempting to trap him with her flail. As always, he'd take the attacks without flinching or would dodge a few with ease.

_'Wait a moment_ _…'_

"Why the hell would Regulus need to dodge an attack?" Subaru muttered, out of breath.

"Wh-what, I suppose?" asked a barely conscious Beatrice. She barely had any mana left, so Subaru deactivated Second Shift, taking her burden as well.

 _'He's invincible,'_ he thought to her, not wanting to waste their energy on speaking. _'_ _Why does he need to dodge?'_

_'Perhaps his invincibility is temporary_ _, in fact_ _.'_

His eyes widened as he exclaimed, ' _That's it!'_

_'Huh?'_

_'Look, there can only be one Witch Factor of each type, right?'_

_'Theoretically, I suppose.'_

_'So, would there be a malfunction of sorts to the original holder of the Authority if another Witch Factor suddenly appeared?'_

She thought for a moment. _'Echidna's notes on it were merely idle speculation, but yes, in fact. A Witch Factor can be shared, but there is still only one for each sin. Wait, aren't we –'_

 _'Using the Authority of Greed against the Sin Archbishop of Greed? Yes. Yes, we are.'_ They grinned at each other as he said, ' _Looks like we have a fighting chance, Beako.'_

 _'It seems we do, I_ suppose.' Her smile widened as she held his arm tight. _'I have no idea how any of this is possible, but I'm happy that Betty's Subaru is back, I suppose.'_

Adrenaline pumped through him. They could do this.

"Emilia!" he called out.

" _El Huma!_ I'm kind of busy, Subaru!" she shouted back.

"His vulnerability is on a time limit! He can't hold it forever!"

Emilia didn't look his way, but he could tell she understood. She redoubled her efforts, weaving in and out of Regulus's attacks as she steadily gained ground. She ducked as the air above her shifted, using the opportunity to place her palms on the earth below her. A massive snowflake materialized with her hands as the epicenter, and from each point, an ice soldier came into existence.

As always, the ice soldiers were a perfect replica of her knight.

"Charge!" she shouted, pointing dramatically at Regulus.

Beatrice scowled. _'_ This _is what you've been teaching her, I wonder?!'_

 _'What can I say?'_ he smugly told her. _'I have a thing for badasses.'_

The soldiers crowded around Regulus, assaulting him with a barrage of spears. With a mere thought, Regulus demolished each of them. Ice shards flew in every direction–

 _"Ah!"_  
"Emilia!"

Emilia crumpled to the ground, her own ice magic piercing her heart.

Unable to focus, Subaru unwillingly deactivated Cor Leonis. Rem, halfway through a swing of her flail, collapsed in exhaustion. Beatrice, out of mana, fell unconscious.

It was over.

Subaru tried running to Emilia's side, but Regulus darted forward, covering over ten meters in less than a second. Regulus kicked Subaru under the chin with enough force to send him careening onto his back.

"The audacity! The gall! I am the Sin Archbishop of Greed, Regulus Corneas! I am the greatest, most excellent example of an upstanding being! I am unselfish beyond all compare! The sheer amount of insolence, impertinence, and impudence you must carry to steal such a precious thing from an innocent man! It is a clear violation of my rights!"

But Subaru wasn't listening to Regulus's deranged ramblings. He was too busy trying to crawl towards Emilia.

Even though he knew it was pointless. Even though her light had gone out.

He _needed_ to reach her.

Regulus's face twisted in rage when he realized he was being ignored. The air around them shifted, and an excruciating pain overtook Subaru as he screamed.

"Your legs are nothing compared to what you stole from me! I've been looking all day for it, and when I finally find what is rightfully mine, you will not give it back? Did I do something wrong? Was it my fault? No, it could not have been! I do not need to change! It's you! You're wrong! You stole from me! Horrible! Disgusting! Such disrespect shall not be allowed!"

Regulus kicked Subaru in the gut, knocking the wind out of him as he coughed up blood. "Number 292 was a vile _bitch_! She scratched me when I married her, and it _hurt_! The dress, she must have hated the dress! Number 217 stitched the seams wrong and it was _unforgivable unfathomable irredeemable!_ It was her fault! That's why the face was wrong! The face, the lovely face of my lovely wife, was _ugly and twisted_! That must be why it hurt! A face, a pretty face is an ugly face when it smiles or frowns, and her visage was twisted because of _you_! _It's your fault! That's the only possible the only no other way the only explanation!_ That must be why the Heart is gone! But why is it in you? Do you pity me? Is that why? DO NOT PITY ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! _WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY DO YOU HAVE MY HEART?!_ "

A torrent of power and Subaru's lungs were crushed. Pain like nothing he'd ever experienced exploded inside of his chest. His throat filled with blood, but with the last of his breath, he uttered a single word.

"…a…"

"What? Speak up! I cannot be bothered to strain my ears to listen to you!"

"Em…i…lia…"

Regulus's eyes darkened. His screaming ceased, changing instead to a calm, almost resigned whisper. "I see… I was hoping you'd say something like, 'Here you go. I am respecting your rights and giving back what I stole.' But no, you do not bother to think of me or consider me. I, the most satisfying existence in this world, do not come first to you." He pulled his hand back and snarled. "If you shall not give back what you stole, then I shall take it from you."

Regulus thrust his arm forward, tearing a hole straight through Subaru's chest and the ground beneath them.

The last thing Subaru saw was Emilia's bloody corpse. He closed his eyes for the final time...

...and opened them in another realm.

He had been here before: Satella's Citadel of Shadows, with its spires of darkness and floor of nothingness.

The Witch's Hand that gripped his heart was not gentle. It was rough, possessive. It wanted, no, _needed_ him.

_"I love you I love you I love you I love you"_

He squirmed, but he knew it was futile. There was no escape from this madwoman.

_"Mine mine all mine all mine don't leave me don't leave me love you love you"_

The shadows enveloped him, trying to make him one with the Witch.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, a solitary tear leaking from his eye.

_"I love you I love you I love you I love you"_

"It's my fault… all my fault…"

_"I love you I love you YOU'RE MINE ALL MINE NOT HERS ALL MINE love love I love you I love you"_

_"_ I'm sorry, Satella… I was so selfish…"

_"I love you I love you love love don't leave don't leave THEY CAN'T HAVE YOU THEY CAN'T HAVE YOU"_

"…Stop."

_"Mine mine stay with me stay with me I love you I love you"_

"I said stop!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, as the shadow retreated in shock. "Stop loving me! Stop revering me! _This is my fault! I did this to you!_ "

He choked out a sob, but the shadow did not come near him again. "Hate me, loath me, resent me, kill me, anything but this! I can't take it!" He fell to his knees and put his head in his hands. "I can't… I can't do this. I don't deserve your love."

All he had ever done was bring her pain.

"So… stop. Stop loving me."

He knew he had no right to ask her for anything, but he had even less of a right to her love.

He felt a cool pressure on his cheek, but it was not the Witch's power. It was a familiar hand, gentle and soft.

 _"You are a fool, my love,"_ Satella whispered. _"Stubborn, obstinate, and pig-headed."_

He couldn't help it. He laughed derisively. "Says the woman who wants me to kill her."

She looked sternly at him. _"Says the man who wants me to hate him."_

They stared at each other for a moment before he sighed. "We're a mess, aren't we, Ella?"

She hummed in agreement. _"We never did have it easy."_

"But we stuck together."

_"Always. Through sickness and through health, but mostly sickness."_

"For better or for worse, but typically worse."

_"Whether rich or poor, but usually poor."_

"Till death do us part, and I certainly died."

_"May we say our solemn vows in this forsaken shrine."_

"Damn, our situation sucks."

Despite everything, she smiled. Centuries later, it still took his breath away.

 _"So… new girlfriend?"_ she teased.

He flinched as he quickly said, "Look, reincarnation makes your love life _very_ complicated. Plus, she's like, half of you. Or are you half of her? But you're also individuals, and… Look, this is messy, all right?"

 _"Don't worry. I approve."_ She grinned mischievously. _"She's cute."_

"Now you're complimenting your own appearance!"

She giggled slightly. He was surprised she was capable of such a thing after all this time.

After all he did to her… and all he put her through… he still made her happy.

He sighed. "Look, Ella –"

_"You want to remember this encounter."_

He gaped. "How…"

Her eyes danced playfully. _"Because I like you."_

He shot her a playful scowl. "Of course, you saw that. You know, some might call it creepy that you're watching everything I do."

She smiled fondly and cupped his cheek. _"But you don't mind, do you?"_

"Can't say that I do," he grumbled, unable to stay mad at her for long. He leaned into her touch as they sat in silence.

 _"So, why now?"_ she asked at length. _"It's been so long since you've asked me for this."_

"I always want to remember you," he declared like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 _"But I didn't let you before,"_ she argued. _"Why should I change my mind_ _now_ _?"_

"Because I made a promise to you," he reminded her, hoping it would be enough.

 _"Then say it again,"_ she demanded. It was clear she was taking no chances.

"But I already –"

 _"Please,"_ she begged. _"I need to hear it."_

His eyes pierced hers as he tried to convey as much sincerity as possible. "I promise to not treat my life as a commodity." He took a deep breath. "And… no matter how much I want to see you, I won't willingly use Return by Death. I will treat every loop as my last."

She searched his eyes for a long time before nodding slowly. _"Okay,"_ she conceded. _"I will allow you to remember what happened."_

"For every time," he clarified. "Not just this one."

She hesitated. _"But… those include…"_

"I know." His eyes shone with resolution. "Some of those are exclusively the Witch. Consider those memories a source of motivation, yeah?"

A pause. Then, reluctantly, she murmured, _"As you wish, my love."_

For a time, they simply enjoyed each other's company. _"You're almost fully healed,"_ she whispered. _"Will you be okay?"_

He raised an eyebrow, asking, "What would happen if I said 'no?'"

Even if he ran, Regulus would not stop looking for the one who stole his Lion's Heart, and no one can hide from the Witch's Cult.

She bit her lip. _"You know there's only so much I can do,"_ she said regretfully. _"I try every time you're in trouble, but… the other me resists it. 'Tis rare for me to break through."_

He smiled gratefully. "Hey, you sent Patrasche and shielded me from Capella's Authority. I'd say that's a lot."

 _"But 'tis not enough,"_ she insisted. _"I want to shield you from_ everything _. I want you to be happy."_ She lowered her gaze. _"I want you to be free of me."_

A lump formed in his throat. "Don't… Don't say that."

 _"I will say what needs to be said. We lived our lives together, and all I did was bring you pain."_ She was crying now, and she pushed his hand away when he tried to wipe her tears. _"I will always love you, Subaru,_ _but I need you to move on. I want you to be happy. You can't do that if you're so fixated on me."_

Ignoring her protests, Subaru wrapped her in a tight hug. "I won't give up on you, Ella," he whispered into her ear. "I don't give a damn what you say. Nothing will stop me from loving you. There's a reason I married you."

She relented and leaned into his embrace. Centuries later, she still fit perfectly in his arms. " _But you know as well as I do that we can't be together anymore."_

He shook his head. "No, I don't know that."

_"But –"_

"I'm going to save you, Ella," he said stubbornly. "I love you, and I'm not going to throw you away that easily."

She buried her face into his shoulder, just like she used to all those years ago. _"Let's say that you're right,"_ she began hesitantly. _"Somehow, you free me and remove my Witch Factor. I'd be executed immediately for my crimes."_

He shook his head vehemently. "I won't let that happen. We'll run away together."

_"But my illness –"_

"No more buts." He stroked her hair as he tried to ignore how cold her scalp felt. "I've been doing a lot of research. I believe that if I use True Face on you every day, it won't be an issue anymore."

Sobs wracked her body as she clung to him. _"Th-then you're saying that you'd choose me over Emilia."_

He tensed. "Th-that's –"

" _If you save me, you will have to choose,"_ she told him shakily. _"Right now, you're saying you'll choose me. However, if you were holding Emilia in your arms, you'd tell her that you'd choose her._

"But I –"

 _"When that time comes, I want you to choose Emilia."_ She frowned at his stricken look. _"I say this because I love you. Because I want you to be happy. That won't happen if you're with me."_

He grimaced. "You're both so damn stubborn," he grumbled. "If Emilia and I were having this conversation, she'd say to choose you. Hell, she'd probably offer herself as a vessel."

Satella's fingernails dug into his back. _"I would never allow that."_

"Neither would I, but if you were in Emilia's position, you'd offer the same."

She said nothing in response. She didn't have to.

"You're both selfless while claiming to be selfish." It was one of the things he both loved and hated about them. "You're both endlessly kind. You're both sweet and fun to be around. I love both of you equally and unconditionally."

He clenched his fists. "It's not fair… You shouldn't even _be_ two people. I can't just _choose_ one of you."

A pause. _"But you'll have to."_

Subaru wanted nothing more than to prove her wrong; he'd make a promise to save her, keep her alive, _and_ be with both her and Emilia.

But he couldn't. He _had_ to choose.

Satella needed to be away from the eyes of the law, but she also needed to be around Subaru so she wouldn't die. He refused to leave her behind.

Emilia needed to be queen so she could save the elves. She had a dream, a mission. Subaru wouldn't, no, _couldn't_ force her to give that up for his sake. If she ran away, then she wouldn't be the Emilia he fell in love with. Leaving the elves to rot would break her.

If Subaru had left Emilia's side... well, he's seen what happened to her without his intervention.

Subaru refused to let them merge. He knew all too well how "The Ordeal" worked. If Emilia were to try and take in Satella's soul, she would be replaced. It wouldn't be Emilia and Satella, but Satella in Emilia's corpse.

Subaru had read about lots of love triangles, but none were this... convoluted. Even if he somehow decided he liked one better, there were drastic consequences to his choice.

He took a shuddering breath. "We're trapped again, aren't we?"

Satella's silence spoke volumes.

"I don't know what will happen in the future," he admitted. He stroked her cheek, trying to derive some comfort from the contact, but she was so _cold_. "I don't know who I'll choose. I'll do everything I can to avoid that choice, but…"

" _It may be inevitable."_ She threaded a hand through his hair. Despite her shaky fingers, it always managed to soothe him. _"We'll get through it when the time comes. For now, do me a favor, my love."_

"Anything," he said without hesitation.

_"Say one good thing about yourself."_

He groaned. "Of all the things…"

She smiled through her tears. _"You need more self-confidence. I know how you feel about your past life, but I forgave you long ago. Even if I hadn't, your actions in this life have been… well, I believe you'd call it 'a redemption arc.'"_

He let out a choked laugh. " _Nothing_ can redeem my actions. I'll spend my life atoning for my sins. And please, I'm absolute scum in this life, too."

 _"If you're referring to your 'girl problems,' then you don't have to worry about them,"_ she insisted. _"These are extreme circumstances."_

He rolled his eyes. "'Extreme circumstances' my ass. May I remind you that I also fell in love with Rem?"

She paused before admitting, _"To be completely honest, I fell for her a little bit after hearing that confession."_

He couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, yeah, that's fair."

Then, in a chiding manner, she said, " _Still, the way you rejected her was cruel._ _You could have said, 'I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way.' Did you_ have _to declare your undying love for Emilia right in front of the poor girl?"_

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "You're making it hard to think of something good to say about myself."

_"Sorry."_

"You don't sound very sorry!" He thought for a moment before his face lit up. Looking directly into her eyes, he declared, "I have excellent taste in women."

She pouted. _"That's not fair_ _... That's a compliment_ _to_ _me, not you."_

"I disagree," he declared stubbornly. "Favor completed."

She tried to look mad but couldn't maintain it. _"Our time is up,"_ she said instead. _"I'll miss you."_ She gave him a hard look. _"That is_ not _an invitation to come visit."_

He laughed. "Got it. No upcoming dates with the wife."

" _Don't sound too excited. I – Mmph?!"_

For the first time in four hundred years, Subaru kissed Satella.

Her kisses were warm, gentle, soft. They touched his soul in such a way that he could feel every drop of her love pouring into him.

At least, they used to.

Now, her lips were cold, shaky, unstable. They were not full of life like they once were. They were the touch of a Witch, decaying and rotten.

At that moment, Subaru tasted death, and it broke his heart.

"I love you, Ella." He leaned his forehead against hers, longing for the day where he could feel _his_ Satella's touch again. "I will save you."

For the first time in centuries, Satella allowed hope to crawl into her voice. _"I look forward to it, my love."_

The world around them faded away, but he remembered everything.

* * *

Subaru cracked his eyes open in the real world. It was still the middle of the night. He turned to check the calendar he kept on his nightstand.

"Five days before we leave for the capital," he mumbled to himself. "That's… really good, actually."

He threw off the blankets and tried to get up but found himself held back. A sleeping Beatrice was gripping his hand tightly, steadily draining his mana. Subaru smiled fondly at the spirit. "I don't know why you bother having your own bed when you always sleep in mine. You're making my reputation as the lolimancer even worse, you know that?"

She shifted in her sleep but didn't wake up.

He gently unraveled his fingers from hers, giving her hair a quick ruffle. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Sweet dreams, Beako. I love you."

"Books… So many… I suppose… Hopeless contractor… in fact…"

Subaru stifled a laugh and headed for the door. Giving a silent apology to Puck, he used Door Crossing to enter Emilia's room. Logically, he knew she was fine, but he needed to see for himself.

Moonlight streamed through the window into the large bedroom, illuminating Emilia's pale face. He sat on the edge of her bed and ran his fingers through her hair. He marveled at the softness and admired the way each strand reflected the moonlight in a different way. She was captivating.

Subaru would say he'd never seen anything more beautiful, but he tended to say that a lot around her.

"I'm a lucky man, aren't I?" He sighed happily. "The luckiest man in the world. I don't deserve you, Emilia-tan."

She looked so calm, so peaceful right now. She mumbled in her sleep, and Subaru leaned in closer to hear it.

"Mhm… Subaru… I like you sooo much…"

_'Gah! EMT is too damn adorable!'_

Subaru couldn't take the cuteness anymore. His heart swelled… and broke the next second.

The mere thought of choosing between Emilia and Satella threatened to destroy him. He pulled back his sleeve and scratched roughly at his arm, but it didn't ease the pain.

So, he did the only thing he knew how to do and ran from his problems. After all, his convoluted love triangle wasn't the only thing going on.

They had to face Regulus Corneas. The Sin Archbishop of Greed.

There was something wrong with Regulus. He still had Stillness of an Object's Time – an absurdly overpowered ability, mind you – but because of Subaru's appearance in this timeline, Regulus no longer had Lion's Heart. That seemed to put some sort of limit on his powers. Subaru idly wondered if something similar was happening to Guese before getting his thoughts back on track.

They needed a plan, and fast.

The next morning, Subaru found himself in a small, indoor amphitheater, standing before Emilia, Rem, and Ram.

"Welcome back, everyone!" said Subaru with a grin. "Please, take your seats."

"We're already sitting, Barusu," snarked Ram. "Please, end your life."

"It's t-too… early." Emilia stretched her arms and yawned. "C-can't these meetings happen a little later?"

Subaru remained bright and cheery. "Not a chance, EMT. We gotta make the most of our day!"

Rem, of course, was awake and energetic. "I'm ready to start! What's on the agenda, _Sir Subaru_?"

Subaru gave her a mock-glare. "I don't like your cheek, but I _love_ your enthusiasm!" He slammed his palms on the podium – he insisted he had one, much to Ram's consternation – and began his announcements. "Welcome to the Daily War Council of the Emilia Camp. As always, we will create battle strategies for usage against the Witch's Cult, mabeasts, and…" he sighed, "pepirs."

Emilia _despised_ pepirs.

"Today, however, is a bit more serious," he continued. "This is one of those 'something bad is about to happen and I can't tell you how I know it' moments."

Emilia frowned. She was significantly more awake after that announcement. "I don't like those moments."

"Cut the theatrics, Barusu," Ram scolded. "I have a nap to get to."

"Don't act like that's more important than a war council!"

"Anything involving you is less important than a nap."

"Relax, Sister," pleaded Rem. "We've learned to trust Subaru on these matters."

Subaru gave Rem a nod of thanks. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news," he began grimly, "but we need to prepare. In five days, the capital will be under attack by Regulus Corneas, the Sin Archbishop of Greed."

Emilia gasped. "He's… he's still alive?"

Subaru nodded gravely. "I'm afraid it's not so easy to eliminate someone like Regulus. His Authority of Greed… well, it's a lot more powerful than Cor Leonis, that's for sure."

And so, he told them all he knew about Regulus's powers, as well as a rudimentary plan for beating him. "And that's when Ram will –"

"I will be doing nothing, Barusu," stated Ram with crossed arms.

Subaru shot her a surprised look. "What do you mean?"

"Are you stupid, Barusu?" Ram asked incredulously. "My place is by Lord Roswaal's side. I will not be accompanying you."

Subaru deflated slightly but nodded. "I… You're right, yes."

"Wait, I don't understand," Emilia interjected. "Considering what's about to come, we need _everyone_ to help, and you're letting her stay behind?"

"It's not her choice," he answered, though he didn't take his eyes off Ram. "There's more to it than simply choosing Roswaal over me. Am I correct, Ram?"

Ram clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

"Your situation... It's not fair. Please, let me help you."

Ram's eye twitched, but if Subaru could just get through to her...

"Roswaal's is a horrible person, trapping you like this. Trust me, I understand –"

"You understand nothing, Barusu." Her face twisted in disgust and anger, and Subaru forcibly reminded himself that this wasn't _his_ Ram. "How arrogant must you be, to think I was forced into such a position? You act all high and mighty, claiming you can understand everyone's pain, but you _can't_. I'm sick of it! You have no idea what it's like to dedicate your life to someone the way I have. You will never understand the devotion I show to Lord Roswaal. Someone like you will _never_ feel the way I do. You don't –"

"That's enough."

It was not Subaru who spoke with such contempt. His frown deepened. "Emilia…"

"I'm tired of you constantly belittling Subaru," she seethed. "You have _no idea_ what he does for the people he loves. He's dedicated his _life_ to saving Sa- saving his beloved. _Everything he does is for her_ , and you have the gall to say he doesn't understand devotion?"

Tears formed in Emilia's eyes. She found out the man who destroyed her home was still alive, and now Ram was insulting her knight. It was too much to handle. "If you won't help, fine. I'm sure you have your reasons, but don't _ever_ attack Subaru with such baseless claims. I won't stand for it!"

Subaru placed a hand on Emilia's shoulder as if trying to place a lid on her rage. "Anger doesn't suit you, Emilia," he said softly.

She turned to him with watery eyes. "B-but –"

"Ram is only acting out in defense of those she cares about, just like you are right now." He smiled sadly at Emilia. "Really, I appreciate you sticking up for me, but getting upset doesn't solve anything. I mean, you've always done your best to understand everyone, even the scummiest of beings. Surely you can understand someone like Ram. She's just a girl with some boy problems."

"I resent that description, Barusu," muttered Ram, but she was promptly ignored.

"I… yes, you're right," Emilia mumbled. She turned to Ram and held out her hand. "I'm sorry, Ram. I took my stress out on you and I let my temper get the best of me. I'm sure there are things going on that I'm not seeing, and that your reasons are perfectly valid." She managed a smile. "So, um… are we good?"

Ram took Emilia's hand and shook it daintily, reverting back to the perfect maid. "Of course, Miss Emilia."

Knowingly, Emilia asked, "Are you saying that because I'm 'Miss Emilia,' or because we're friends?"

Ram gaped. "I… what?"

Emilia's smile brightened. "Someone important to me once taught me what it means to have a friend, and it's wonderful. I know that you and I don't talk much, and I, um… I just yelled at you, but I'd love to have you as my friend."

Ram couldn't respond. She simply stared at Emilia with her jaw dropped.

Rem took the opportunity to step in. "Sister would love to be your friend, Miss Emilia!"

Ram looked at Rem, betrayed. "What are you doing, Rem?" she hissed. Rem gave a playful grin in response.

Emilia clapped her hands together. "Then, it's settled! Thank you for being my fifth friend, Ram!"

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "Fifth?"

"Mhm." She counted off on her fingers, saying. "First was Subaru, then Reinhard, then Rem and Beatrice, and now Ram!"

Nobody commented on how Roswaal was omitted.

"I…" Everyone looked to Ram, who seemed to be struggling to speak. Seemingly giving up, she gave a hasty bow and retreated.

Rem smiled fondly at her retreating sister before turning back to Emilia. "Just so you know, that's Sister-Speak for, 'I'd love to be your friend! You're such a friendly girl, Miss Emilia!'"

Emilia grinned happily as if the words came from Ram instead of her sister. "That's wonderful! How would I say, 'You're so cool, Ram,' in, um, Sister-Speak?'"

A mischievous glint entered Rem's eyes. "It would roughly translate to, 'Die, Barusu.'"

Emilia giggled as Subaru grimaced. "Gee, thanks," he grouched. "Never thought I'd hear that out of _your_ mouth, Rem."

Rem gave a sly grin. "I am only acting as translator, _Sir Subaru_ _._ "

Subaru tried to frown, but it was hard when two of his favorite people were having so much fun. Soon, they would plan a battle against Regulus. For now, he would enjoy the moment.

Eventually, Rem left to go look for her sister. Subaru wrapped his arms around Emilia, grateful that she was alive. Not for the first time, he vowed to protect her.

However, that didn't mean he had to accept everything she said. "Hey, Emilia-tan?"

Emilia gave a quiet "hmm" as she leaned against him.

"You were wrong about something, you know."

She looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"You said I do everything for Satella, but that's not true."

If anything, she looked even more confused. "But…"

"Yes, it's true that I'm trying to save her, and it means the whole world to me that you want to help me with that. Honestly, I'm still in shock. What girl wants to help her boyfriend reunite with his ex?"

Her confused expression melted into a fond smile. "I do. It's like you said, isn't it? I'm a hopeless romantic."

Subaru scowled. "Say that this all works out, and Satella is saved. I can't have you both, so what happens to you?"

She snuggled into his chest, humming as she did so. "I'd miss you, of course, but I would let the two of you live in peace, and I'd always fondly remember the time we spent together. If worse comes to worst, she needs to use me as a vessel, so be it. You deserve a happy ending, Subaru. That's what matters most to me."

He gripped her tightly, unable to speak for a moment. Then, after careful consideration about what to say…

"Bullshit."

"Huh?" She leaned back to look at Subaru, confounded. "I don't –"

"You'd give up your _life_ so that I could be with another woman?" he asked incredulously. "Not even Freud could think of a complex that ridiculous! What the hell happened to, 'I'll have to try super-duper hard to get you to choose me'?"

She bit her lip and admitted. "I've thought about it for a long time. It's not like I _want_ to see you with another woman, but I realized… you only like me because of Satella's soul. I'm just her replacement. I'm selfish, and I'm taking advantage of your love for her to keep you by my side."

He looked at her in disbelief. "Seriously? I already told you that I liked you _before_ I knew Satella!"

She shook her head. "That's because subconsciously –"

"No!" he exclaimed, causing her to jolt in his arms. "You don't get to psychoanalyze this shit! I look at you and I see _Emilia_!"

That seemed to give her some solace, but her eyes were still sad. "That makes me happy… I think." She looked away, ashamed. "It's still not right… you _love_ her. You only _like_ me."

He gaped. "You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking."

"Of course not." She frowned. "Why would I joke about something like this?"

"You're… you're just so… ugh! You're so damn oblivious!"

"What? I don't understand…"

"Did you seriously never consider that I didn't say 'I love you' to avoid freaking you out? I mean, you knew me for a _week_! I wasn't going to drive you away with a confession like that!"

Emilia's eyes widened. "Wh-what are you saying, Subaru?"

He threaded a hand through his hair, then took a deep breath to let go of his frustration. "Do I really need to spell it out for you?"

She looked into his eyes but didn't deny it.

"I love you, Emilia. I love you so much that it hurts. I love how kind you are, and how every little thing makes you happy. I love how selfless you are and how you stick to your giving nature, even if it hurts you. I love how strong you are and how I know I can always rely on you. I love how breathtakingly beautiful you are and how you fit so perfectly in my arms. I love you so much that it drives me crazy."

"Subaru…"

"That's where you were wrong, Emilia. I don't do everything for Satella. It's both of you equally. I'm not choosing one woman over the other. I just… I can't. I can't make that choice. I know that's wrong. I know that makes me scummy. If there's a time when I have to choose, I… just thinking about it makes me want to die. I can't do that."

He knew he was rambling, but he didn't care. "This isn't only about me. You deserve a happy ending, too. You need to be _alive_ for that. I won't give up on you, and I would never, _ever_ let you become a vessel, you got that? Trading you for her… love doesn't work like that. That won't make _anyone_ happy."

He took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. "Look, I… I need you to understand. You're not a replacement. I know you and Satella look the same, and sometimes, you even act the same, but you're _not_ the same. You're Emilia. You're hopeful, earnest, silly, optimistic, innocent, oblivious, energetic, and passionate. To you, a given word is a binding oath, and you'll always put others first, even when you're in pain.

"Don't you see? These are the things that make you who you are. That's not because of her soul, but _you_. I'm in love with you, and that's _because_ it's you.

"I love you because you're _Emilia_."

Emilia looked like she was about to cry. "S-Subaru… You're such a… You make me…" She took a long, shuddering breath as she gave in to his warmth. "I'm so selfish, aren't I?"

He gently cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch. "It's not selfish to accept someone's love."

"S-so I'm allowed to feel this happy? To feel this warm?"

"I'll make you feel like this every day if you'll let me."

"…I want that. I want that more than anything else."

A lone tear ran down her cheek and he wiped it off. She held him close and ran her hand through his hair, just as she so often did, but this time, she pulled him down…

...and kissed him.

It was gentle, hesitant, soft. It screamed inexperience but whispered passion. Her lips were fire on his, and his entire body thrummed with life.

Despite his shock, he pulled her closer, letting her warm body lay flush against his. Her hands moved from his scalp to his neck as her delicate fingers sent lightning through millions of nerve endings.

He burned the wonderful sensations into his mind as he rejoiced, for this was every dream come true.

Never, in any loop, timeline, universe, _anything_ , had a sane Emilia kissed _him_.

Never had he felt so _alive_.

She pulled back slowly as if she couldn't bear to part with him. Her amethyst eyes shone with affection and joy as she said the words that changed his life forever.

"I'm in love with you, Subaru Natsuki."


	16. Regulus Corneas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for being the cutest beta reader in the world.

_The night air was crisp and cool, sending shivers down Subaru's spine. His travel cloak was worn and frayed, providing minimal protection against the elements. Still, he didn't mind if he was able to gather warmth in the arms of his wife._

_Wife. His wife. Those words made no sense to him. An entire year had passed, and he had no idea why the hell Satella wanted to be with him._

_"It's because you saved me," she would whisper as she leaned her forehead against his. She'd gently stroke his cheek as her eyes would flutter shut. "You showed me the light when the world was dark. You healed me with your gentle touch, and you held me when the nightmares struck." She'd press her lips to his, baring her heart and the remainder of her soul to him. "I love you, Subaru. That's why I married you."_

_With warmth like hers, the cold would never bother him._

_Satella had spent so long cooped up in that mansion. She wanted to explore, to travel, and Subaru was all too happy to oblige. And so, they wandered. They had no destination in mind, but they had each other, and that was enough to make them happy._

_However, a problem arose. While their emotional needs were met, they still needed earthly goods such as food, water, and shelter. For that, they needed money, and after a year of their nomadic lifestyle, the substantial amount they took from the mansion was fading._

_"We could go back," suggested Subaru off-handedly. Satella stiffened and he hurriedly finished his thought. "You heard what happened with the Sanctuary. Hector's still on the loose, so there's no way Echidna's going to come back."_

_Satella bit her lip as she shifted uncomfortably,_ _pulling her hood over her head to stave off the chill of the night. "Maybe..._ _I'm not sure I'm ready quite yet._ _" Her eyes lost a bit of their luster as she gazed into the distance. "Soon, but… not yet."_

_And that was the end of that._

_They arrived at a small village and headed for the nearest inn. It was dingy and as cold as the air outside, but that was fine. They had both lived in worse conditions for most of their lives. The main room was empty, save for an elderly man behind the bar. He narrowed his eyes at them in distrust._

_More specifically, at Satella and her pointed ears._

_"We don't serve your kind here," he growled, red-faced at their mere presence. "No open rooms anyway. If a beast like you really needs shelter, go to Old Man Lector. He might let you sleep in the stables if you put out."_

_Subaru glared at the man as electricity danced between his fingers, but Satella's warm hand on his arm stopped him from doing anything drastic. She was used to the discrimination by now._

_He grimaced but backed off. No need to raise the guards' ire over some random prick._

_"We won't be sleeping in any stables," she told the man curtly. She turned around and marched off. "Let's go, Flugel."_

_Despite it being almost three years since arriving in Lugunica, Subaru refused to let go of his alias. It was representative of his new lease on life, and it meant too much to him._

_That, and he thought it was cool to have a secret identity that only he and Satella knew._

_As they neared the door, the old man behind the bar began to cough._

_Satella turned to him in concern. "Are you all right, sir?" she asked, all traces of hostility gone._

_The coughing fit wound down, and the old man scowled. "Why do you care, you wretched half-demon?"_

_Subaru couldn't help but wonder the same thing._

_Her eyes softened. "I don't like seeing people in pain." Her soft voice was full of sincerity, and the old man wavered._

_"It's my lungs," he said at length and coughed again. "They served me well, but they're running low on life."_

_She nodded. "I see. I can heal them if you want."_

_The old man reeled back. "I'm not gonna let you curse me," he spat._

_"Please, sir," she begged, her wide eyes imploring him to listen. "I only want to help you."_

_At first, he looked like he was about to deny her, but it was difficult to resist those amethyst eyes. "Eh, what the hell," he muttered. "I only got about a year anyway." He inclined his neck and spoke clearly. "Do what you must, Devil."_

_She brushed off the slur. "Oh, thank you!" she said, relieved. She walked forward and placed a hand on the man's chest. Her eyes closed in concentration as a soft glow permeated the air._

_A moment later, she stepped back. "How do you feel?" she asked softly._

_The old man took a deep breath. "The hell?" He gripped his chest. "What… how?"_

_She smiled slyly, and said, "Isn't it obvious? I healed you."_

_He gaped. "I've seen dozens of healers and they couldn't do a thing."_

_"My husband and I aren't normal healers," she said as if it was obvious. Considering what she just achieved, perhaps it was. "Now, if you'll excuse me." She bowed her head and headed for the door._

_"H-hold on!" the man called out. She turned around and looked at him quizzically. He struggled with himself and his own shifting viewpoint before forcing out his words. "There's a… Look, there's an open room," he revealed. "I'll give it to you for the night, free of charge."_

_She stared back at him, confounded. "But why? A moment ago, you refused us."_

_He shifted uncomfortably like he couldn't believe he was having this conversation with a demon. "A moment ago, I was a dying man." He took a shuddering breath as if his entire worldview had changed. "Look, do you need a place to stay or not?"_

_Subaru would never forget the blinding smile that lit up her face._

_And so, their travels continued. Even though Satella eventually found herself ready to go back to the mansion, they mainly stayed on the road. They never wanted for money, for they could simply exchange their healing services for room and board. With time it became easier to find a willing inn to let them stay while they practiced medicine. People were far more receptive to their services, and eventually, they discovered that they were recognized._

_"A half-elf and a human. Miracle healers," one innkeeper explained. "You come where you are needed most. They call you two 'the Sorceress and the Sage.'"_

_"The Sorceress,"_ _Satella mumbled. She looked at the innkeeper hesitantly. "Not… Not a demon?"_

_The innkeeper looked offended. "You're a hero," she insisted. "To call you anything else is unthinkable."_

_With that, they were given a new lease on life. No longer were they simple wanderers, floating from place to place with no destination in mind._

_Satella grabbed her husband's hand as they faced their future together. The Sorceress and the Sage would make their mark on the world._

* * *

In the Master Study of the mansion, Subaru and Roswaal stared each other down.

They loathed each other. They needed each other.

Roswaal believed that Subaru had the potential to be just like him. Subaru hated that he was right. That didn't mean Subaru had to play twisted games with a madman.

Subaru would not be a pawn in this chess game, for he was a knight.

"We're leaving for the capital early, Roswaal," declared Subaru with a tone that brooked no argument.

Roswaal leaned forward and steepled his fingers over his mouth, making it difficult to discern his expression. "What is your reaaason for such an action?"

White hair and golden eyes flashed through Subaru's mind, but he kept his face carefully blank as he recited his prepared statement. "We simply feel that a public appearance will help Emilia's reputation before she reveals herself as a candidate."

Roswaal gave a "hmm" in consideration. "Where will you staaay?" he asked, genuine curiosity lacing his tone. "Surely you do not plan to show up to the Sword Saint's abode before the expected time of arrival."

Subaru grimaced, and said, "Do you think so little of us? An inn is fine."

Roswaal gazed at Subaru calculatingly before nodding his assent. "Very well." He snapped his fingers, summoning Ram to his side. "Ram, be a dear and prepare their carriage."

"There is no need, Lord Roswaal," she informed him with a bow. "Rem has already completed all the preparations."

Roswaal raised an eyebrow at her. "You were aware of this… development?"

Ram cast Subaru an unreadable look. "Let's just say that Barusu and I have come to an understanding regarding our similar motivations."

That was a fair way to put it. They had a long discussion the previous night and they eventually came to a compromise. Ram would cooperate with Subaru if it didn't violate Roswaal's orders. In return, Subaru would help her save Roswaal from his obsession.

Subaru would have loved to dangle Roswaal over the edge of the Great Waterfall, but he was okay with this. Ram was a powerful ally to have.

And… he missed _his_ Ram.

"Truuuly? How… interesting." Roswaal turned his attention from Ram to Subaru. "May I assume that your preemptive action means you were not planning on taking 'no' for an answer?"

Subaru didn't say anything. He didn't need to.

Roswaal leaned back with a dramatic sigh. "Why, it seeeems that I've been backed into a corner. Very well, you may leave whenever you wish."

Subaru nodded and turned to leave, but not before catching Roswaal's victorious smile.

Soon after, Subaru, Emilia, Beatrice, and Rem set out for the capital. They settled in for a four-hour trip, but Subaru knew it would be much shorter.

"Twenty minutes away," Rem announced from the driver's seat of the carriage. "We've only been travelling for an hour. Your ground dragon is something else, Subaru."

He smiled. "What can I say? Patrasche is the best of the best."

Maybe it was just him, but he could have sworn they doubled in speed.

"What's it look like out there?" He craned his neck, but Rem's head was blocking his view.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," she responded.

"Any smoke?" he asked.

She shook her head, and he breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. We weren't too late."

He wrapped an arm around Emilia, and she leaned into his side. "I'm scared, Subaru," she admitted quietly. "Are you sure we'll be okay?"

He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, exclaiming, "Absolutely! Have faith in your knight, Emilia-tan."

"I do, but…" She trailed off, her eyes losing focus. Subaru recalled photos of old veterans and their thousand-yard-stares.

With a burst of guilt, he saw what Puck wanted to protect her from.

Subaru shook his head to clear it. Regaining her memories was a result of saving her life, and she was a stronger person because of it. Gaining strength through suffering was a twisted worldview, but he'd prefer it if she suffered in his arms instead of alone in Echidna's Trial.

"He destroyed my home," she whispered as she buried her face into his chest, hiding from the world that caused her such pain. "Him, and…"

"Pandora," he finished. His heart filled with hatred at the mere thought of her.

If Emilia's clenching fists were any indication, she was feeling the same way. "They… Mother and Juice… they couldn't touch him. What chance do we have?"

He was thinking the same thing, but he couldn't tell her that. The moment he showed weakness, Emilia would falter. She relied on him, and he already burdened her enough.

So, instead of admitting his worries, he held her tight. "Believe in yourself," he said lowly. "You're a lot stronger than you think."

"It's futile if I can't control that power," she mumbled, bemoaning her own incapability.

He stroked her hair, knowing the calming effect it had on her. "No one says futile anymore, Emilia-tan."

Subaru's deft fingers and the familiar banter must have given Emilia a sense of comfort because she relaxed, sinking into his touch. She closed her eyes and let a soft smile fall upon her lips, knowing she was safe in her knight's arms.

It was surreal.

Subaru still hadn't fully processed what happened the previous day. Emilia said she loved him. Emilia _kissed_ him. Subaru half-expected to wake up in Crusch's mansion after the Royal Selection fiasco, because there was _no way_ life could be this good to him.

A light "hmph" came from Subaru's other side, and he raised an eyebrow at his spirit questioningly. "Something the matter, Beako?" he asked, though he already knew the answer. "You know you can tell me anything."

Beatrice glared out the window as if the road had personally offended her. "Nothing's wrong, I suppose."

He grabbed a lock of her hair and twirled it around his finger, much to her annoyance. "You know I can feel your emotions through our link, right?" Her face scrunched up, but Subaru didn't back off. "You're cute when you're jealous."

Emilia looked up, amused, and said, "Don't worry, Beatrice. I won't take Subaru away from you."

Beatrice flushed an adorable shade of red. "I-I'm not worried, and I'm not jealous, I suppose!"

Subaru's eyes twinkled. "Is it because your contractor had his eyes on another woman?" he teased. "Sorry, Beako, but I don't see you that way."

She flinched back, horrified. "EWWWWW, I SUPPOSE!" she screeched. "That's disgusting, in fact! Betty merely wanted a hug, and Subaru was giving all his attention to that girl, I suppose!"

Beatrice's eyes widened in mortification as she realized what she just admitted. She tried to scooch away, but Subaru reached out and pulled her in. "I'm always down for a Beako hug."

Beatrice squirmed for a moment but there was no real fight to it. Within a few moments, she gave up and wrapped her arms around one of his. "B-Betty is cute, so it's understandable that Subaru wants a hug, I suppose," she mumbled.

Subaru would have teased her further but was stopped by a "we've arrived," courtesy of Rem.

He clapped his hands together as a smirk crossed his features. "All right… time to search for Regulus's mansion!"

Apparently, that was easier said than done.

"Come on!" he whined. "It can't be _that_ hard to find a freaking mansion!"

"There are lots of mansions here," Emilia pointed out. "We simply don't know which one belongs to Regulus."

"Thanks, EMT," he muttered, but he didn't sound very thankful. "Really helpful."

She ignored his sarcasm and flashed a smile. "We'll have to keep asking around." She pulled her hood tighter around her ears, saying, "I'll get the tavern over there. Why don't you ask one of the traders?"

He saw where she was indicating and perked up. "You know what? That's an _excellent_ idea." Ignoring her curious expression, he casually strolled over to a pair of haggling merchants.

One of them, a tall, older fellow that Subaru didn't recognize, waved his hands over a dozen barrels of oil. "Gusteko is cold in the winter months," he was saying. "These will sell for a lot, so why the hell should I give them to you?"

The other merchant – a young, grey-haired man with green clothes, held up a box filled with metal ore. "Because these will surely sell for even more here in the capital," he argued. "Besides, you don't look like you're about to take a lengthy trip like that anytime soon."

The older man scowled. "The hell makes you think I'm not capable of traveling?" he grumbled, a hint of danger in his voice.

Realizing his mistake, the grey-haired merchant began to panic. "I-I just meant that a handsome man like you must have a family to provide for!" He held the box of ore in front of his face, hiding his fear. "It wasn't because you're old and needed help carrying your wares, I swear!"

Subaru clapped his hand on the gray-haired merchant's shoulder, smirking at the pathetic expression on the man's face. "Nice save, Otto," he said with a chuckle. "Real believable."

Otto jumped back in shock, almost dropping his box of metal. "Wh-who are you?" he asked Subaru.

Subaru's eyes widened as he forced a tear out. "You don't remember me?" he whispered brokenly. "After all we've been through? Otto, how could you?!" At Otto's bewildered expression, Subaru backed off with a chuckle. "I'm screwing with you. Heard your name around town," he lied.

Otto breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought I was losing my memory," he admitted. He shook his head to clear it. "That was a mean trick, uh," he faltered, looking even more lost. "I'm sorry, what's your name?"

Subaru grinned and posed. He loved doing this. "My name is Subaru Natsuki, and I'm the one and only knight to the most gorgeous woman in all of Lugunica!"

Otto managed a shaky smile. "It's nice to meet you, but, ah," he trailed off as his eyes flicked behind him to the older merchant. "I'm in the middle of a trade."

"Then trade with me." Subaru reached into his coat and pulled out a small pouch. He had swiped a few extra coins off Roswaal's desk out of spite, and it was time to put it to good use.

Otto eyed the bag greedily and asked, "H-how much is in there?"

"Double what he's paying you." Subaru shook the bag of coins and decided to seal the deal. "In fact, my offer comes with free room and board inside a mansion, as well as a full-time job as our Public Relations Manager."

Otto's jaw dropped for a moment before he laughed. "I get it now. You're making fun of me." He took another look at Subaru's earnest expression and his eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh," he said softly. "You're serious."

"That I am." Subaru tossed the pouch to Otto who fumbled with it for a moment. "After the Royal Selection, stop by Roswaal L. Mathers' territory and ask for Subaru Natsuki." He turned and walked away with a wave.

"Hold on!" cried Otto. "You forgot the metal!"

"Keep it!" Subaru called back over his shoulder. "Or sell it, I don't care! Just consider taking the job, all right?" He disappeared into the crowd, not waiting for Otto's response.

He met Beatrice by the fountain, and she looked up at him with hope. "What happened, I wonder?" she asked. "You look happy, I suppose.

"That's because I just got us a new PR guy," he told her with pride.

"I meant regarding the mansion's location, in fact." His grin faded and she huffed in disappointment. "You forgot to ask, didn't you, I suppose?"

"Look, I was excited, okay?" he defended, but it sounded weak, even to himself.

She glared at him and muttered about how hopeless he was.

Luckily, Emilia returned with more information. "Dozens of women were sighted going into a white mansion on the east side of town."

"Finally, a solid lead," he said, relieved. "Thanks a million, Emilia-tan."

She gave a sly smile in return. "You know, you say that I use strange expressions, but no one in Lugunica says 'thanks a million.'"

He laughed. "That's because my sayings are… out of this world."

She rolled her eyes, saying, "You act like that's an incredible pun, but I still don't understand."

Twenty minutes of light-hearted bickering later, and they found themselves in front of a gigantic building.

"Holy shit, this is huge." He had to strain his neck just to see the top of it. "Seriously, how did we not see this before?"

"I think it was blocked by the castle." She put a finger to her chin in thought. "Say, how does Regulus even afford something like this?"

"I'd love to say it's some evil undercover operation, but it's probably because a few members of the Witch's Cult like to break reality in their spare time," he pointed out like it was obvious. Platinum hair flashed before his mind, but he squashed down the image. It wouldn't do to get distracted right now. "Creating money without inducing inflation is a non-issue for them."

She blinked. "I feel like I should be more surprised," she said flatly. "Why am I not surprised?"

Beatrice crossed her arms in annoyance. "It's Subaru's fault, I suppose," she remarked. "He's always dropping truth bombs on us, so we've become desensitized to it, in fact." She frowned at the strange looks she received. "What is it, I wonder?"

Subaru looked close to tears. "You used a Subaru-ism," he said in wonder. "I'm so proud!"

Her eyes widened in fear. "N-no, I suppose! It's a normal phrase, in fact!"

"It's normal if your name is Subaru Natsuki," Emilia teased.

Beatrice stomped her feet as she screeched, "Gah, I suppose!"

Subaru grinned and said, "Looks like I don't need a motivational speech. I'd say we're significantly hyped." He frowned. "Well, actually…"

He looked over his shoulder, asking, "Are you okay, Rem? You've been so quiet, I almost forgot you were here."

Rem's stony expression didn't change. "Forgive me," she said flatly. "I'm not exactly excited when I think about the Witch's Cult."

A wry grin crossed his face. "Fair enough. So, you guys ready to split up?"

"Mhm. I'm ready."  
"Ready."  
"Ready, I suppose. Hmph!"

He cracked his knuckles, ignoring his anxiety and the pounding of his heart. "Let's do this."

* * *

Regulus Corneas. The Sin Archbishop of Greed. The most satisfying existence in the world. The kindest, most powerful, most beautiful, most humble, most intelligent, most worthy, most privileged individual since the Witch of Envy herself, was sitting on his throne.

It was not his preferred throne, of course. It was merely one of many, as he had yet to find the perfect one. But someday, he would. He would fulfill his Greed.

Regulus sighed. He deserved better than this pathetic excuse for a chair.

He called for Number 172, one of his darling wives. She appeared within moments.

A beautiful face. No expression. Perfect.

"What is your desire, Dearest Husband?" Her eyes, a gorgeous shade of sea-green, stared unblinking at him. It wouldn't do for her face to change, after all.

He looked at the woman he loved without a shred of interest. "I require a new throne," he pronounced.

She bowed deeply, reverently. "Yes, Dearest Husband. I shall procure one immediately." She walked away, finally disappearing from his sight.

Regulus sighed again. Why must life be so difficult?

He stared off into space for quite some time. The most beautiful of palaces, the most opulent of throne rooms…

It wasn't enough. Perhaps acquiring another wife would fill the void.

Regulus stood up but was interrupted by another approaching figure. It was likely one of his wives, he deduced. He narrowed his eyes at the woman. "Which one are you again?"

Cerulean eyes, as clear as the sky. Golden hair, making the richest of men squirm with desire. Such a shame that those colors were so… boring. "Number 184, Dearest Husband," she answered listlessly.

"Ah, yes. My lovely wife," he drawled. He brushed past her and she followed him as if she needed to speak with him. What a nuisance. She was not worthy of his Heart.

He whirled around with a snarl. "I don't have time for you." Power gathered around him, but his wonderful wife did not flinch, as her training dictated. "You are infringing upon my right to privacy. Go sit in your room like a good child."

Number 184 nodded and walked away. Her hair shined brilliantly as it caught in the light, and the change made Regulus's teeth grind. He would dispose of her later. For now, he had a task to complete.

Regulus made his way to the entrance hall and stopped short.

There she was.

The most perfect face.

Immobile, unmoving, unchanging, immortal. A face that he would not grow tired of. A face to fulfill his avarice.

A face identical to the Witch of Envy's stunning visage.

Regulus spread his arms wide. "Welcome!" he called out. The woman turned to him without a trace of emotion on her face. "I am Regulus Corneas. It's a pleasure to meet you." He smiled as joy pumped through his lifeless veins. "What brings you to my humble abode?"

Bright, amethyst eyes met his own, and he shivered in delight. Her lips, perfect for remaining shut, whispered the words he _deserved_ to hear. "I am looking for a husband." Her soft voice tantalized his ears. He couldn't wait to silence it forever. "I would like to be your wife." She curtseyed, as graceful as an angel from up above. "If you will have me, of course. I have no intention of assuming or infringing upon your rights."

Regulus's smile widened. He was thrilled, excited, ecstatic, for the Witch had finally recognized his worth. This one would fulfill his Greed; he was sure of it. "Finally, a child that knows its place. I would love to take you as my wife, for I love you and I will act as a loving husband should."

He frowned as he realized something was wrong. Terribly, horrendously, indescribably wrong. Why must he be forced to deal with this? He deserved better. "How did you get inside?" he asked angrily. "It is disrespectful to come into a man's home uninvited. That is against my property rights, you see."

The woman, his new wife, bowed her head in such a way that it would be easy to sever her neck with his power. It was as if she was already trained. "Forgive me, Dearest Husband," she said quietly. "I was let in by Number 184."

Regulus's face contorted in rage as all sense of fulfillment fled. "That _bitch_ calls herself my wife but does not have the decency to inform me of this development? Such disrespect! Such insolence! I shall not allow it! That child has violated my rights for the last time! I shall dispose of her as soon as possible!"

His wife bowed in reverence to her master. "As my Dearest Husband wishes," she whispered. If her decreasing volume was any indication, it seemed she was quickly adapting to her role. "However, if my Dearest Husband would be so lenient to a woman who cannot help but cling to her most cherished love, I would like to be wed first."

That was understandable, Regulus supposed. Who wouldn't want to marry him as soon as possible? "Of course," he muttered, calming down. "I can eliminate Number 184 later." He narrowed his eyes at his wife. "Still, I do not appreciate your arrogance. Requesting such a thing from your husband? Disgusting. If you did not have such a pretty face, I would have killed you for such a request."

She didn't even twitch. "Of course, Dearest Husband."

They stared at each other for several minutes. The entire time, his wife's face remained unchanging.

"No emotion," he mused. "Truly, the quintessential wife for a husband such as I." He snapped his fingers as an ingenious thought came to him. "A reward! Yes, you shall be rewarded for your devotion. I shall gift you with a name, a much better name than… whatever yours once was. Forget your false name, for it does not exist. It never has existed. You are here, so your name shall be Number 79."

"An excellent choice, Dearest Husband." She tilted her head in confusion; the first spark of life she displayed so far, and hopefully the last. "If I may ask, why 79? I was expecting 185 or higher." She bowed her head, lower than ever before. "Please forgive a wife's disgusting curiosity. I shall relinquish such vices the moment we are wed."

He waved his hand dismissively. "It is of no consequence. Even if it has a naturally pleasant disposition, a dog must undergo training before it is deemed obedient, correct?" He scowled as her lips began to part. "Don't answer," he instructed. "Don't move. Don't speak. Don't change your face. You will make me angry and I do not deserve to be angry."

He thought for a moment. What were they talking about? Number 185, right? What happened to Number 185? It had been a few days, and it had already slipped his mind. She was… ah, yes. That _bitch._

"Number 185 is dead," he recalled. "Such an ugly laugh. A woman should not display such unattractive traits. If your laugh is ugly, then why laugh? The situation is no longer funny, ruining it for everyone. She didn't deserve my heart, so I tore hers out of her chest."

Regulus's face twisted. "As for Number 79," he spat, "that role remained unfulfilled. It would have gone to that elven _bitch_ from the forest, but she was unwilling to succumb."

His wife's fists clenched, and Regulus's eyes narrowed. "Is there a problem? I believe there is no problem, and you should not believe so, either." Was that so hard to understand? Why did people not comprehend that he deserved better? "I am a perfect individual, invincible and unchanging. It was a violation of my rights to refuse me, and now you wish to do the same?"

She shook her head. Such movement was unforgivable. "Of course not, Dearest Husband."

But there it was. A shaking voice. Tense shoulders. An overwhelming pressure in the room.

Regulus approached her, unafraid of her looming aura. "Let me make one thing clear," he growled. "You. Are. Mine. You are hereby forbidden from displaying any emotion. No smiling. No laughter. No anger. No surprise. No crying. All you can show is devotion. Submit yourself to me, the Sin Archbishop of Greed, Regulus Corneas. I am the most satisfying existence in the world. You are my wife now, and you belong to me. That is a husband's love, and it is my right to claim you. My heart, my love, is shared with you, for I –"

"Holy _shit_ , you're annoying!"

Regulus whipped around, finding a young knight carrying an unconscious girl. "Who are you? I am merely trying to have a conversation and you are interrupting me! That is a violation of my right to speak! I ask you again, who are you? Answer!"

The boy laid the child against a wall and pointed his finger towards the ceiling. "I am Subaru Natsuki," he declared, brimming with confidence, "Emilia-tan's one and only knight!" He smirked. "I'm here to crash this farce of a wedding."

* * *

Before they could confront Regulus, Subaru and Beatrice had people to save. They dashed through a long corridor, looking for any signs of life. He opened a door with a golden handle. Then another. Then another.

He scowled. "Damn it, where are his wives?" he said with a raised voice.

Beatrice looked at him questioningly. "Can't you use Cor Leonis to find them, in fact?" she asked, wary of his tone.

Subaru shook his head furiously. "I need an emotional connection to them, so I can't see them." His face scrunched up as his thoughts became increasingly violent. "We're going in blind, and this mansion is too damn big! We'll never find them! It's hopeless!" He pulled back his sleeve and scratched roughly at his arm, but Beatrice grabbed his hand before he could draw blood.

"Stop doing that, I suppose!" she cried out.

"No! This plan is stupid as hell!" He raised his voice as his emotions ran wild. "I'm putting you all in danger because of this ridiculous crusade!" He reached for his arm again, and she dove forward, grabbing onto it like her life depended on it.

"That doesn't mean you should hurt yourself," she said with fire in her eyes.

He pulled at his hair with his free arm. "Well, nothing else makes sense right now!"

Beatrice glared at him before taking a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. She knew that getting upset would only make things worse. She needed to be there for her contractor, and that meant being strong.

She ran her small fingers over the scratches, draining some of his mana as she did so. She found that if she took only a tiny amount, his nervous energy would decrease and it would be easier to get through to him. He squirmed at first, knowing what she was doing, but eventually gave in to the tender ministrations of the great spirit.

She waited until he was calm before speaking. "Subaru, what did we talk about, I wonder?"

He looked down in shame. "That if I'm feeling this way, to tell you."

"Exactly, in fact." She continued to gently rub his scars, despite not draining any more mana. "No matter what happens, Betty is here to help you through this, I suppose." She laid her forehead on his arm as she hugged it tightly. "You saved Betty from those feelings, so let me save you from them, too."

He bit down hard on his lip but managed a nod. "Thanks, Beako." He chuckled derisively. "For someone who hates scars, I sure give myself a lot of them."

She pulled her head back to glare at him. "Don't even joke about that, I suppose! That's not funny, in fact!"

He tried to look apologetic, but it fooled neither of them. "You're right, sorry."

She shook her head vehemently, blond curls flailing about. "You're not sorry, I suppose!" Tears filled her eyes as she thought of all the times she healed him. "You always say sorry, and then you hurt yourself again, in fact!"

"But –"

Her gaze turned steely as she came to a resolution. "This is your last chance, in fact. If I find even one new scratch, I'm telling Emilia what it means."

His eyes widened in panic. "She can't know!" he cried desperately. "I refuse to put her through that!"

"Then stop doing it," Beatrice shot back, "and there will be nothing to tell her, I suppose."

He glared at Beatrice. The first time around, she understood and helped him hide it. Now, she wanted him to tell Emilia?

Ridiculous. He was fine.

"Look, we can discuss this later," he said with finality. "Right now, we're on a time limit."

Beatrice's lips curled downward, but she couldn't refute that statement. They had no choice but to keep looking.

A minute or so later, Subaru came across a woman in the hallway. She bore a passing resemblance to Emilia, although the hair and eye colors were different. Subaru pumped his arms and cheered as hope washed over him. "Finally, a person! My name is –"

She walked right past him. "Hey, hold on a moment!" he called out, but she didn't spare him a glance.

He raised his voice as his agitation increased. "I can free all of you! Just come with me!"

She faltered in her steps but resumed walking.

"I know the secret of Regulus's invincibility," he cried, becoming desperate. "I can counter it!"

She stopped short and turned around to lock eyes with Subaru. His eyes softened as he realized he was getting through to her. "Regulus maintains his power indefinitely using something called Lion's Heart," he explained, "but it's not working anymore. When he discovers that, he _will_ kill you, regardless of how obedient you've been." He softened his voice, knowing this wasn't easy to hear. "Please, come with me. I can save you from all this."

Fear danced in her eyes. "What about the others?" Her voice was small, sweet. A beautiful song that had been silenced by a madman.

"I'll save them, too." His eyes implored her, _begged_ her to listen. "You're simply the first one I've come across. Can you bring me to the rest?"

She hesitated, and her body twitched like she was about to brush him off.

But a chance to save the others… it was obvious that she would risk death for something like that.

"Come with me," said the woman. Her voice was not strong per se, but it was more confident. When was the last time hope filled such a voice? She continued walking, indicating for them to follow.

' _Ask for her name, Beako,'_ Subaru asked his spirit telepathically.

Beatrice looked at him strangely. ' _Why me, I suppose?'_

' _You're about to perform some funky magic on them,'_ he pointed out. _'It'll be easier to convince them to go along with it if you have rapport.'_

She huffed. _'You're lying, I suppose._ _It's because knowing a_ _pretty girl's name_ _is the first step of seduction_ _, in fact.'_ She narrowed her eyes, condemning him. _'Such a shameless pervert. I'll tell Emilia, I suppose._

Subaru rolled his eyes. He already knew the girl's name, but Beatrice didn't have to know that. ' _Just do it,'_ he grumbled.

Beatrice didn't look happy but complied. "What's your name, I wonder?" she asked with disinterest.

The girl didn't even blink. "Number 184," she replied, lifelessly.

"What kind of mother would name their child 'Number 184,' I wonder?" Beatrice crossed her arms, even though the girl couldn't see her. "Your _real_ name, I suppose."

It was quiet for a time. Beatrice was about to repeat her question but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

' _Give her a moment,'_ Subaru instructed.

They reached a door at the end of the corridor. It was plain and simple, at least compared to the extravagant entryways they had passed.

A delicate hand rested on the doorknob. "Sylphy," she said softly, hesitantly. "My name is Sylphy."

Subaru smiled. "Nice to meet you, Sylphy. Are all the wives in there?"

She nodded. "There are fifty-three of us, myself included. Soon, there will be fifty-four."

He chuckled as pride surged through him. "Damn, Emilia convinced you, too? Strange, considering she's an awful liar."

Sylphy whipped around to face him, genuine surprise on her face. "Y-you mean –"

"She's buying us time to get you out of here," confirmed Subaru.

The slightest twitch. It was imperceptible to most, but Subaru had developed keen eyes over his many trials and tribulations.

Sylphy was smiling.

She led them into the wives' bedroom, though it was clear that it was a bedroom in name only. If anything, it reminded Subaru of a prison barrack. No amenities, decorations, or even windows were present. The only furniture was the rows of tiny beds, each with impeccably folded white sheets.

Over fifty women lay atop these sheets, not even bothering to cover themselves with a blanket despite the chill coming from the north.

Over fifty women, devoid of hope, stared listlessly at the ceiling.

One by one, Sylphy gently shook the shoulder of each woman, dragging their attention back to the real world. Within moments, they stood at the side of their bed, each in the exact same position relative to each other. No expression crossed their similar faces as they stared at Subaru patiently.

He didn't know whether to feel creeped out or depressed.

He plastered a confident grin on his face. "All right, you guys ready for a prison break?"

No one moved.

At his side, Beatrice pumped her fist in the air, her face as blank as always. "Woo, I suppose!" she cheered. "Prison break, in fact!"

He ruffled her hair. _'Thanks for the backup.'_

' _Anytime, I suppose.'_

He clapped his hands together. "Listen up, girls. Regulus's invincibility is limited, and I know how to exploit that limit." He patted Beatrice's head, much to her consternation. "Beako and I are going to take him on, but you can't be here for that. Once he discovers that we know his weakness, his first target will be you."

No reaction. Expected, but disappointing, nonetheless.

"So, I offer you a proposition." He stuck his thumb to his chest, trying to maintain his façade of fearlessness. He needed to appear strong if they were to listen to him. "Come with me, and you can start over. I've talked to the locals in the domain of Roswaal L. Mathers, and they agreed to find you jobs. You can finally attain the freedom you've all wanted, but never acknowledged as possible."

A few twitched eyebrows. A couple of clenched fists. Was he breaking through to them?

"Your life isn't over. It's starting right here, right now, from zero." Those words changed his life, and he hoped it would change theirs, too. "Please, come with me. Let me save you."

A few moments later, a strangely familiar woman with reddish-brown hair stepped forward cautiously. "W-why should we believe you?" she asked quietly.

Despite the conditioning that Regulus must have put her through, the woman retained her kind, cyan eyes. They reminded him of Petra's, and it made his heart ache to even _think_ of her in this situation. He forced the image out of his head and managed to look her in the eye. "I'd love to say, 'I'm a knight,' and have that be enough, but that doesn't mean much when you're held captive in a city full of knights." He lifted Beatrice up and placed her in front of him. "So, I'll let Beatrice, a great spirit, explain for me."

Beatrice whipped around, panicking. "What, I wonder? I did not agree to this, I suppose!"

He patted her head fondly. "That's because I wanted to surprise you. You're cute when you're flustered."

She glared at him before taking a deep breath and facing the crowd of expectant women. "My contractor is pathetic, I suppose."

' _Hey!'_ he cried, offended. That's not what he asked for at all!

' _Shut up, I suppose,'_ she growled. Then, out loud, "He is weak and relies on others to get anything done, in fact. He is hopeless without Betty." Her eyes softened as she looked down, her voice becoming small. "But he saved Betty's life, I suppose. He has never once broken a promise to Betty, in fact. You can trust him, I suppose."

Subaru choked up. _'Beako?'_

She didn't take her eyes off the women. _'What is it, I wonder?'_

He ruffled her hair and looked at her fondly. _'I love you so much.'_

She blushed. Adorable. ' _B-Betty is cute, so–'_

' _You're allowed to say it back, you know.'_

She took a deep breath and locked eyes with him. _'Betty loves her Subaru, too.'_ Even in their minds, her voice was soft. _'Whenever you're feeling… that way, remember that I'm here, I suppose.'_

Beatrice's speech clearly influenced the women. Some were smiling, some were cautious, and some were terrified.

But they were all showing emotion.

A minute passed, and Beatrice tapped her foot as she started to lose her patience. "Are there any other questions, or can we leave now, I wonder?"

Sylphy slowly raised her hand. "Just one, if that's okay." She was still quiet, but there was a bit more confidence in her words.

Subaru beamed. It seemed there was hope for these girls. "Ask away."

She shifted uncomfortably. "Um… how are we going to leave?" she questioned with a frown. "Dearest Husband will notice our escape."

"First off, enough of that 'Dearest Husband' crap," Subaru scolded gently. "His name is Regulus Corneas, and he's a massive prick. As for our mode of transportation…" He patted his spirit's head. "Beatrice, if you would?"

Beatrice nodded and held her arms out as a portal appeared in front of her. Shadows twisted as ethereal lightning danced in front of them. It was a hurricane of power just a few steps away. The wives retreated instinctively, and Subaru couldn't blame them.

Beatrice's power was kind of scary at times.

Subaru gestured towards the portal, saying, "The moment you step through here, you will no longer be the wife of Regulus Corneas. Consider this your divorce paper." Upon receiving that information, one of the women dashed up to the portal, the mere thought invigorating her, but jumped back as a purple bolt of lightning nearly struck her. Subaru walked up to the hurricane of shadows and held out his arm. "Don't worry, it's harmless."

' _This better be fucking harmless,'_ he grouched.

' _It should be, I suppose,'_ she said dismissively.

' _Should be?!'_

The lightning danced across his skin, inflicting nothing more than a slight chill, and Subaru let slip a sigh of relief. "See? Totally safe," he declared. "This will take you to Arlam Village. Tell them Subaru Natsuki is granting you asylum."

"H-hold on a moment!" It was the woman with reddish-brown hair. "Did you say Arlam village?"

He nodded. "You're familiar with it?"

Her cyan eyes softened in a way that he could have sworn he'd seen before. "I lived there before Dear- I mean, Regulus took me."

Subaru had a sinking feeling as a realization settled in. "Th-that's nice. You could show the others around." He gulped. "Just, uh, curious… what's your name?"

Despite her imminent freedom, she gave the answer he expected. "Number 132."

He shook his head. "Your _real_ name."

She hesitated. "I… I haven't said it in years." She paused as if making sure she had the right answer. "It's Rebecca Leyte."

Subaru's breath hitched as the room spun.

' _Pathetic!'_ he shouted in their minds, giving Beatrice a headache. _'I'm so pathetic!'_

' _What are you talking about, I wonder?'_ Beatrice asked in a panic. She grabbed onto his arm, pre-emptively stopping him from hurting himself. If anything, that made him feel even worse.

' _This whole time, I never asked her about her family! I never even…'_ His heart pounded in his chest as he realized he hurt yet another person. _'How long has she been holding onto this pain?_

Ignoring the others' strange looks, Beatrice drained a bit of mana from Subaru, trying to take the edge off. ' _Deep breaths, Subaru,'_ she soothed. _'It's okay, I suppose. In, out. Do it with me.'_

Slowly but surely, Subaru followed her gentle guidance as his pulse went back to normal. ' _Yeah,'_ he said at length. _'Yeah, you're right. It's more than okay. She's going to be so happy when she finds out.'_

Subaru never asked Emilia about her life in Elior Forest. He never asked Rem about her childhood. He never asked Ram about her horn. He never asked Petra about her family. He never asked anyone a damn thing, choosing instead to talk about himself or wait for them to confide in him.

At that moment, Subaru vowed to ask his loved ones more about themselves.

Subaru managed a shaky smile. "Mind doing me a favor, Rebecca?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know what I can offer you, but I'll do anything within my power."

He shook his head, dismissing his concerns. "It's nothing hard. Just say hi to Petra for me, all right?"

Rebecca's eyes widened as she ran up to Subaru and grabbed his hand. "You know Petra? How is she? Is she okay?" Tears began to spill from her cyan eyes. "Oh, it's been so long since I've seen my little sister! Does she think I ran away? Does she hate me?"

Subaru knew none of that information, and that realization hurt.

He pushed down the pain and jerked his head towards the portal. "The answer to every one of your questions is through there." He managed to send a calming smile her way. "You should know that Petra's growing up to be a fine young woman. I bet she's missing you lots, so why don't you hurry on home?"

Without warning, Rebecca threw her arms around Subaru, crushing the air out of him. With a whisper of gratitude, she broke free and dashed into the portal.

Rebecca's display of confidence inspired hope in the other wives. One by one, they headed into the portal. Some gave their thanks, some nodded, and some refused to look at him.

Sylphy gave him a blinding smile and a curtsey. "We are forever in your debt."

He waved her off. "None of that," he said with a light blush. "Just stay safe, and don't go dating any sociopathic men, all right?"

Her laugh, a beautiful sound that had not been heard for years, filled the room. "I think I'll be staying away from boys for a while if that's okay."

Subaru gave her a cheeky grin. "I can't blame you."

The portal closed behind Sylphy, leaving Subaru and a panting Beatrice alone.

His spirit's arm dropped, unable to hold it up any longer. "Too much… long-distance teleportation… I suppose…" Her eyes flicked to Subaru before she ran out of energy and dragged them back to the floor. "Out of mana… in fact…"

With that, her eyes rolled back, and she fainted. Subaru barely managed to catch her before her head hit the floor.

"Guess I didn't consider how much mana that would take," he muttered. "Then again, that portal isn't too different from _Al Shamak_ , is it?" He sighed. He still wasn't great at estimating Beatrice's mana usage. "Oh, well. I guess I'm not using magic until we can get to the Forbidden Library… or at least a _very_ energetic Emilia. Damn. I was enjoying my super-powered loli."

This development… well, it destroyed his plans, to say the least. He would have to improvise, but against Regulus, that meant certain death. The least he could do was evaluate the situation.

Subaru closed his eyes and focused on the pinpricks of light that symbolized his loved ones. Rem was… fighting? She wasn't near Emilia, so she wasn't fighting Regulus, which meant –

Subaru swore. There were cultists here, too.

The remainder of Subaru's plans was in shambles. Beatrice was unconscious. Rem was fighting for her life. And Emilia…

Emilia was _angry_.

It was time to crash this farce of a wedding.

* * *

Emilia dropped her mask as her knight announced his presence. "That's a reeaally good line, Subaru!" she exclaimed as warmth filled her.

Subaru grinned and gently laid the unconscious Beatrice against the wall before walking towards Emilia. "I know, right? I thought of it on the way here. Did I look cool?"

Emilia beamed. "Super-duper cool!" Her entire body was bursting to the seams with admiration. "My knight is the best!"

Regulus directed his rage at Emilia. "What is this disgusting display?" he snarled. "You would speak to another man while we are to be wed? Such debauchery in my presence shall not be tolerated! You are a despicable wife! I will kill him and you! It is a violation –"

"Of your rights," Subaru drawled, rolling his eyes. "I've heard this a million times. Look, can we –"

Subaru stopped and yelped as Regulus appeared in front of him. A pale, cold hand wrapped around Subaru's neck. "Do. Not. Interrupt. Me." Subaru responded by kicking Regulus in the crotch. He didn't even notice.

"My rights are _everything_ to me," Regulus shouted, "and you violated them! Unforgivable! Unfathomable! I was merely trying to have a friendly conversation, and you spat in the face of common decency!" His fingers tightened, cutting off the remains of Subaru's oxygen supply. "I, the Sin Archbishop of Greed, do not deserve such treatment!"

Emilia, careful not to hit her knight, aimed her hands at Regulus as tendrils of power flowed through her veins. She gathered it in front of her, silently calling on Puck to help her focus it. _"Al Huma!"_ she yelled at the top of her lungs.

A massive spear of ice slammed into Regulus's side. Nothing changed except for his fingers tightening around Subaru's neck. Emilia begged and pleaded as she threw everything she had at Regulus, but he merely stood there as he crushed Subaru's windpipe.

Subaru mumbled something but it was lost amidst the blizzard. Regulus's eyes narrowed. "What is it? Speak up! I cannot be bothered to listen to such drivel!"

On the verge of unconsciousness, Subaru reached to his neck and pulled at Regulus's fingers. They loosened just enough for Subaru to gasp out a breath. "Stream…" he managed to croak. "Not burst."

Regulus punched Subaru in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him and preventing any further speech. "What is this nonsense? Are you trying to confuse me? I am the most intelligent existence, even more so than the Witch of Envy! I will not be influenced by such drivel!"

Regulus smirked as Emilia's magic slowed to a steady trickle, barely even touching him. "Even my beloved wife knows you are done. Perhaps her renewed faith in her Dearest Husband is enough for me to pardon her, for I am –"

He stiffened. "I'm… cold?"

Subaru used the chance to headbutt Regulus, freeing himself. He collapsed to the floor, and Emilia ran to him. "Subaru! Are you –"

His windpipe was damaged, but he managed to call out to her. "D-don't let up! We can't let him use his power!" He fell into a coughing fit as he strained his already-damaged vocal cords.

She almost reached him, aiming to kneel beside him. "But you're –" The air shifted, and a massive gash tore through her leg, cutting straight through her hamstrings. She collapsed with a cry and tried to push herself up, but a swift kick from Regulus sent her flying into a wall. Cracks formed at the point of impact as she fell limply to the floor.

" _Emilia!"_

The space around her warped as a fountain of blood shot out of her chest, and she moved no more.

Her light disappeared into the shadows.

Regulus directed his fury at anything and everything, destroying furniture and walls alike. "Horrible! Horrendous! I am generous and take that _slut_ as my wife, and this is how she repays me?" He slammed his power into a wall, shattering it to pieces as he screamed. "She harmed me! Hurt me! _I felt pain!_ Nonsense! Not possible! Where is my heart?! Why can I be touched?! Whatwhatwhat did I what did I do to deserve such unfair treatment? Everything was right! Perfect! Excellent! _Why are these children ruining it? WHY DOES IT HURT?!"_

Suddenly, the grand Entrance Hall was filled with mirthless laughter. It was an ugly sound, punctuated by hacks and coughs: the chortle of a dying man.

Amidst, the pain, the grief, and the sorrow, Subaru Natsuki spread his arms wide and grinned like a loon.

Regulus whipped around to face the failed knight. "What is so funny?" he screeched, eyes smoldering with fury. "You have lost! That _slut_ is dead! The sacred spot of Number 79 was stolen from me, and you, you insolent, disgusting, selfish fool, have the audacity to laugh? What could possibly be so hilarious? What is so funny that you think you have the right to laugh at _me_?"

Subaru's eyes stared off into the distance as a delirious smile threatened to tear his face in two. "Don't you see? It's the funniest shit in the world!" He doubled over in a coughing fit, vomiting up blood, but rapidly straightened himself out to continue laughing. "Emilia said she loved me! How fucking funny is that?" By now, his laughter had faded to a mad giggle. "Emilia! In love with _me_! This shit is _hilarious_! Ten out of ten, best comedy!"

Regulus's scoffed. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked with a sneer. "There is no humor in this situation! You are dying! A dead man walking! It's you! Your fault! My wife has been murdered, and it's _your_ fault! I ask again, _what is so funny?"_

As if finally realizing where he was, Subaru came back to reality and stopped laughing. A truly ugly look came over his face. All that remained inside of him was self-loathing and a desire for vengeance.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" he gasped out. "There's not a single legitimate timeline where Emilia would fall for a fuck-up like me." He coughed and sputtered, but his will was that of iron, and he pushed through.

"My spirit is out of mana," Subaru announced in a raspy voice. "My only conscious ally is elsewhere, fighting for her life, and she doesn't stand a chance against you. I have a damaged windpipe and I can barely breathe. The woman I love is…" He gulped and clenched his fists. "There's no one else here. Just me, Subaru Natsuki. I'm the weakest, most pathetic person you'll ever have the displeasure of meeting."

Their eyes met as Regulus's rage confronted Subaru's burning hatred. "But I won't go down without a fight. I will live for my vengeance," Subaru declared with a fury befitting his dark, nasty eyes. "As long as the last thing I see is your corpse, I will die a happy man."

"Die a happy man?" mocked Regulus. His golden eyes narrowed as they zeroed in on his target's neck. "A mere thought and your brainless head is torn from your shoulders. You _will_ fail because you are not me, and I never lose. I, the Sin Archbishop of Greed, cannot die, for I am perfect. _You_ will die miserable and alone. Such is the fate of a foolish boy unable to achieve his goals."

Subaru scowled and said, "I may die, but I will always come out on top in the end. That's just who I am."

He pulled out his ruby-encrusted dagger and Regulus's eyes snapped to it. "You see this?" Subaru asked nonchalantly, deftly twirling the knife between his fingers. It was as if he wasn't gloating to an invulnerable Sin Archbishop, but a random bandit. "Spoils of war," he continued. "It's a nice reward for killing Capella, wouldn't you agree?"

For the first time, Regulus felt a spike of fear. "You killed… but how? The Sin Archbishop of Lust –"

"Can't be defeated?" Subaru interrupted, causing Regulus to snarl. "Perhaps for normal people, but you don't seem to know who you're talking to."

The failed knight trained his dagger at Regulus, directing all his pain, anger, and hate towards his foe. "I am Subaru Natsuki, slayer of Sin Archbishops. I've killed two of the Great Mabeasts, and I _created_ the fourth. I've spat in the faces of the Witches of Sin and their Authorities. I've forced Reid Astrea into submission and bent Volcanica to my will."

Subaru's face twisted in disgust. "I am the Sage who wielded powers beyond your wildest imagination," he spat. "I sealed the Witch of Envy with my own two hands."

Regulus reeled back, speechless, but Subaru wasn't done.

"I am Subaru Natsuki, the one and only knight of Emilia… and the Champion of Satella."


	17. A Reason to Believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for making everything okay when my world is in shambles.

" _I am Subaru Natsuki, the one and only knight of Emilia… and the Champion of Satella."_

Regulus stepped back, unable to believe what he was hearing. "What the hell are you talking about? None of what you said is possible! The Witch of Envy has no Archbishop, let alone a Champion! She does not show favor to anyone!"

Subaru doubled over, coughing up blood, but stood back up with a smug grin. "Well," he said weakly, "I've been told I have a knack for seducing Witches."

Regulus scoffed. "Not possible! If anyone would have her favor, it would not be a man pretending to be the Sage, but me! Regulus Corneas! The most satisfying existence in the world! What power could you possibly have that I don't?"

Subaru hummed and pretended to think. "Oh, I don't know… just the Authority of Envy." He shivered as the Witch's hand warned him not to go any further, but his eyes never left Regulus.

Regulus shook in rage. "You can't! An insolent, disgusting, pathetic little shit whose only weapon is his words cannot hold a power such as that! If that is your power, then tell me: what is the Authority of Envy? I deserve to know!"

Subaru clucked his tongue. "Now, now, that's a secret between me and my darling Satella. She'd be a bit jealous if I said anything about it." He smirked as Regulus growled. "You know, the Authority of Envy is not the _only_ trick up my sleeve.

"I also bear the Authority of Greed."

Silence filled the room, interrupted only by Subaru's hoarse breaths. Then, suddenly, Regulus laughed.

It was not Subaru's angry, hopeless, self-loathing laugh.

It was the laugh of a madman who couldn't be bothered to take the situation seriously.

"Amazing! Perfect! Hilarious!" Regulus crowed. "You confront the Sin Archbishop of _Greed_ , and you have the gall to claim that you have my power? Look at yourself! You are beaten, pathetic, yet you compare yourself to me? Now I know your boast was a lie, for how could you _possibly_ think you have the Authority of Greed?"

Subaru wiped the blood pouring from his lips with a smirk. "Tell me, Regulus: when's the last time you gave your Lion's Heart to one of your wives?"

Regulus said nothing, but his derisive sneer deepened.

"No use trying it out," Subaru said flippantly. "They're all safely out of harm's way. But you wouldn't know that, would you? You have no connection to them anymore. That's because I'm here. I took your Authority. Now, your heart lies solely in you." He smirked. "Just like a mere _human_ , Regulus."

Regulus shook with rage. "Inconceivable! Nonsensical! I am not human, for I am invincible! Do you know an invincible human? No, you do not, for they do not exist! There is only me, Regulus Corneas!

Subaru gave a cocky grin. "Invincible, huh? But without your Heart being given to someone else, it's limited to… what, five seconds?" He didn't wait for an answer. "If I keep up the pressure and force you to use Stillness of an Object's Time, you'll have to stop, and I can kill you."

Subaru coughed and sputtered as one dead man spoke to another. "You're finished, Regulus."

Regulus snarled. "You claim to steal what is rightfully mine? Laughable! Unthinkable! But I am a kind man, so I will indulge your delusions. Even if my Lion's Heart was gone, I can still overpower you with ease. You, a dying child with nothing to your name, can barely stand before me! You have nothing, so you seek the Witch's love! That is a right for me, only me! _You took that away!_ Youyouyou are trying to take her love for yourself, just like a weakling! Weak, utterly weak, so pitiful! Do you pity me? Is that what are doing? Do not pity me! _Do notnotnot pity me!"_

The air between them shifted, and a massive gash appeared on Subaru's upper arm. He didn't even flinch. "After that whole speech, that's all you can manage?" he asked mockingly. "You'd think the Sin Archbishop of _Greed_ would aspire for something more impactful."

Another shift, and part of Subaru's cheek was torn right off. In his grief, he didn't feel a thing. "Just a flesh wound," he said lightly. "Capella stabbed me in the heart. I crushed her into a singularity and removed her from existence." As if to prove his point, Subaru held out the ruby-encrusted dagger once again. "Now, are we going to do this, or not?"

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Regulus dashed forward with inhuman speed and punched Subaru straight in the gut.

One second.

Subaru's intestines ruptured and he collapsed to the floor, but he was a dying man with nothing to lose. He stabbed at Regulus's leg with as much strength as he could muster. His dagger bounced off harmlessly and Regulus kicked Subaru with enough force to send him skidding across the hall. Within an instant, Regulus was in front of Subaru, preparing for another strike.

Two seconds.

The sound of chains. A scream of rage. Like an angel of death sent to enact judgment, a blue-haired demon fell from above and landed in front of Subaru, intent on protecting him.

At that moment, she looked like _his_ Rem, and his heart broke further.

"Apologies, Sir Subaru." Her voice echoed around the room as she gripped her morning star tight. "I was dealing with _scum_ , but it seems like I missed one."

Three seconds.

Rem threw her chain lightning-fast, but Regulus caught it in his hands, hurling it right back. Her horn glowed brightly as she showed the world what it meant to be a demon. With a burst of power, she shouted, _"Huma!"_

A shield of ice, normally a simple barrier, reflected the projectile back to Regulus at twice the speed. She trailed behind it at speeds unfathomable to even the fastest of ground dragons.

Four seconds.

But a demon was nothing against an invincible foe, especially one as furious as Regulus. He tanked the flail and punched Rem in the chest. Unlike Emilia, she didn't just crash into the wall, she flew right _through_ it. The stone shattered like glass and she crashed into the building next to them. Regulus turned and sprinted towards Subaru at near-light speed as the air between them warped and twisted.

Five seconds.

Regulus froze. The air stilled. Pain like nothing he'd ever experience gripped his heart. He looked down in disbelief, flinching back at the hatred in Subaru's dark eyes.

With the last of his breath, the dying knight condemned him. "You had hundreds of wives, desperately seeking the Witch's love." Subaru's voice was quiet, almost inaudible, but was filled with the strength of a man who had nothing left. "In the end, _I_ am the one who owns her heart."

Invisible Providence squeezed the Lion's Heart, shattering it into a thousand pieces. Regulus Corneas, a simple human with nothing special about him, died.

With that, Subaru's adrenaline faded, and he let his head rest against the cold, marble floor. His vengeance fulfilled, he closed his eyes and smiled to himself as he awaited the Witch's hand.

Thirty seconds later, his windpipe failed, and he stopped breathing. Only a few more minutes left, and his brain would shut down.

Five minutes passed, and nothing happened. Why was he still alive? Why was he thinking, feeling, and… breathing?

He cracked his eyes open ever-so-slightly to find… a glow? And… a cat? No, a demi-human… Felix? Was he nearby and heard the wall explode? Did it even matter?

' _Please, Satella,'_ he begged desperately. _'Let me die. There's nothing without her.'_

Nothing happened. He began to panic. If he fell unconscious after he was healed, his save point would update, and Emilia would be gone forever.

His dagger. That would solve everything. He picked it up with what little strength he had and brought it to his throat. With a growl, Felix knocked it out of his hand.

Pathetic. He couldn't even break a promise right.

Subaru closed his eyes, hoping for the cold embrace of death… and opened them to find an unfamiliar ceiling

He held his head in his hands and wailed like the pathetic weakling he was. His thoughts once again went to his dagger, but before he could act, a warm presence locked itself to his side.

He opened his eyes to see the concerned face of his spirit. Shame filled him. He was so caught up in his grief that he didn't even consider the girl that he viewed as a daughter.

He felt as despicable as the Sage.

He reached out to pat her head, but his movements were sluggish. There was no point in trying anymore. He'd simply comfort her for a moment, make an excuse to have some alone time, and kill himself.

That's all that remained for him in this timeline.

"Beatrice…" he whispered, unable to muster the energy to speak clearly. "Are you okay?"

She buried her face into his shoulder, like a child seeking comfort from her father. "Don't worry about me, in fact." She matched his volume as if to make sure he wouldn't feel alone. "I was able to absorb enough ambient mana to regain consciousness, then took the rest from you, I suppose." She raised her head, butterfly pupils shining with concern, and said, "I'm more worried about you, I suppose."

He looked at her incredulously. "Me," he breathed as he flared with indignation. "You're worried about me."

She tilted her head in confusion. "Of course, I'm worried," she said innocently. "You nearly died, I suppose."

A surge of energy flowed through his veins as rage filled his heart. "Who cares about _nearly_?" he yelled, though he didn't know if his anger was directed at Beatrice or life itself. "Emilia is _dead_! The woman I love more than anything is _gone_!"

He buried his face in his hands, unable to face reality head-on. With nothing else left for him in this timeline, he felt for his knife, only to find it missing. In a panic, he reached inwards with Invisible Providence, seeing if he can grab his own heart like the Witch did. Firmly grasping it, he began to squeeze and –

Beatrice, unaware of Subaru's actions, patted his hand soothingly. "You're confused, I suppose. Emilia is fine, in fact."

Subaru stopped short as he let go of his heart. "I'm… but she's… what?"

"Hmph. Must Betty repeat herself, I wonder?" She tried to look annoyed but seemed more relieved than anything else. "Emilia had a minor concussion and nothing else, I suppose. She's resting in the next room, in fact. The maid is unharmed and sleeping, before you ask. She's quite resilient, I suppose."

"Wait, I don't understand," he gasped out. "Cor Leonis… and Emilia's light –"

Never went out.

It disappeared into the shadows.

' _Thank you, Ella,'_ he whispered in his mind, hoping that she could hear him _. 'From the bottom of my heart, thank you for saving Emilia. I love you so, so much.'_

He was probably imagining it, but he could have sworn that a cold hand cupped his cheek, stroking it lovingly.

Beatrice grabbed his hand, remarking, "Subaru's face is scrunched up weirdly, I suppose."

He managed to chuckle. "You'll understand when you fall in love."

Utterly serious, she responded, "Betty doesn't need to fall in love when she has her Subaru."

Subaru felt a lump in his throat. All he could do was gather the girl in his arms and hug her as tight as possible. They remained in that position for some time before Beatrice broke the silence. "We need to talk, I suppose," she said quietly, refusing to meet his eyes.

Subaru gasped loudly and clutched his chest. "Oh, no!" he exclaimed, fighting off a grin. "Are you breaking up with me? Do not devastate my heart so, my dearest Beako!"

She huffed and glared at him. "I'm serious, in fact," she scolded.

He shoved down his smile. "Sorry, sorry. What's up?"

She bit her lip; a habit she'd most likely picked up from Emilia or Satella. "Do you remember what you did before falling unconscious, I wonder?"

Of course, he remembered. "I killed Regulus," he said proudly. He had help, sure, but in the end, it was him. Not Reinhard, Julius, or any of the other knights that were _much_ more powerful than him.

Subaru Natsuki, Emilia's one and only knight, killed the Sin Archbishop of Greed.

Beatrice must have been thinking something along the same lines for a burst of pride entered her eyes. A moment later, however, she squashed it down. "That's not – we'll get into that later, I suppose." Her eyes grew sad. "I meant what happened after that, in fact," she mumbled.

Subaru tried to feign ignorance, but one look at her knowing gaze and he knew it was pointless.

"I woke up and saw some of it," she said softly, and Subaru's heart broke. "I hadn't recovered enough mana to hear anything, but I saw you get hurt, and I couldn't help you."

He remembered all the times she said she'd get nightmares if she saw him die, and that was _before_ they were contracted. He couldn't imagine how she was feeling now. He reached out to comfort her, but she twisted away, vehemently saying, "Betty was supposed to protect you, but she couldn't! And then you… you tried to –" She cut herself off, unable to say it out loud.

She rapidly clenched and unclenched her tiny fists, shaking slightly. "I want to be angry, I suppose," she whispered brokenly. "I want to yell at you, but I can't, in fact. For four hundred years, I wanted the same thing, but now…" Tears leaked from her eyes. "Now, I have Subaru, and the thought of being alone again…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Beako," he insisted. "I'm right here."

"But you almost did, in fact," she said, sorrow etched upon her face. "You promised to stay by Betty's side, and you tried to leave Betty!"

He still didn't understand why she was so upset. Why did she feel this way? Why did she care so much?

He knew she would grieve his death. Satella helped him realize that. Still, he didn't know _why_.

If Return by Death stopped working, would it really make a difference? A couple of people would be sad for a moment, sure, but they'd move on and would eventually realize how much better off they were.

He had done horrible, _horrible_ things. Everything was his fault. There's no way he would ever be forgiven, and he wasn't sure he _wanted_ that. He deserved retribution, not forgiveness. Even in _this_ life, he was a mess. Every day, Beatrice dealt with his self-harm. He spat in the face of Emilia's affection by loving another woman. He projected a dead woman onto Rem. Puck hardly ever saw his daughter. Satella watched him from her shrine, fighting off a demon _he_ created.

All Subaru did was hurt the people he loved. They'd be better off if he never came into their lives. So, why the hell should it matter if he died?

The only thing he was good for was undoing their deaths.

Somewhat aware of his tumultuous thoughts, Beatrice reached out to hold his hand. Her small, soft fingers intertwined with his. "You gave up, I suppose," she whispered, pain evident in her every word.

He looked at their clasped hands, wondering why she chose him. "I thought Emilia was dead," he said flatly. "There's nothing without her. That's what it means to be in love. When she dies, I die, too."

But that wasn't the full truth. Subaru was a wreck with or without Emilia.

On a dark, stormy night, a young man with nothing to his name shot himself in an alleyway. On a whim, the Od Laguna deemed him a befitting companion to a young half-elf, and Subaru's soul was sent into the arms of Satella.

After skipping school for five months in a row, Subaru realized how much of a waste of space he was. His parents would have been so much better off without him. So, he stole his mother's anxiety medication and downed it all. In a daze, he made his way to the convenience store, inching closer to death every moment. Mere moments before he could pass on, the Witch's hands grabbed his heart and he blearily opened his eyes in the Lugunican Royal Capital.

Subaru killed himself for Rem, twice. Sure, he knew he'd come back in those cases, but did that mean anything? The first time, he had barely known her, and she had brutally murdered him in the prior loops. He didn't jump off that cliff to save her. He jumped off it because he _deserved_ to die.

Now, he tried to kill himself because he let Emilia die. He chose to save her over everyone else.

Everyone, including the girl in front of him.

"What about me?" Beatrice shot back. "My life is tied to yours, in fact."

His mouth dried up. "You can break the contract and go back to using the Forbidden Library for mana," he reminded her, but it felt hollow.

A spark of anger entered her eyes. "That's not the point, and you know it, I suppose!"

"Then what is the point?" he snapped, lashing out at the person who deserved it the least. She flinched at his verbal abuse, but he didn't let up. "You told me that you lived for me! What would you do if I died?"

He knew he was being cruel, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

She gripped his hand tighter, surprising him with her strength. "Betty would live for your memory!" she shouted. Her eyes flicked to the shut door, making sure no one would hear them before turning her ire back to Subaru. "It doesn't matter how hopeless or depressed you get, I suppose! You're the one who taught me that death was _not_ the answer, in fact!"

"That's because you don't deserve to die!" he yelled. "You sat in that library, doing nothing wrong except being too damn adorable, while I was out there fucking up the world!" His entire body trembled, but he refused to let the tears fall. "It's not even just back then, but _now_. I led you all into danger for my own selfish desires. When you get hurt, it's _my fault!_ "

Beatrice scoffed. "How self-centered you must be to think you're the only reason we're here," she mocked. "Do you think we _like_ the Witch's Cult, I wonder?"

She narrowed her eyes at Subaru's shocked face, saying, "You must be messing with Betty, I suppose. No one is this oblivious, in fact."

Apparently, Subaru was. "What are you talking about?" he asked incredulously. "I led you directly to Regulus!"

She shook her head. "You're our leader, and the banner we fight under," she admitted ruefully, "but we fight because it's what we believe in, I suppose."

Subaru looked away, his anger melting away into confusion. "You wouldn't be in this situation if not for me," he pointed out.

"That's true, I suppose," she conceded, "but we would not follow you if we did not believe in your cause." Her eyes softened. "We believe in you, Subaru, are we are here because we _want_ to be here, in fact."

A lump formed in his throat. "But still, you were hurt," he retorted.

"You were hurt worse, in fact," she said stubbornly.

That was fine. It was his retribution.

She reached out and placed a small hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. "You don't see it," she realized. "All the people who love you, I suppose. The people who fight beside you. You don't see that people would miss you, in fact."

He shook his head vehemently. "I see it," he insisted. "I just know that you're wrong. You _think_ you love me, but you'll get along just fine without me."

Her face fell further. "Then you don't truly see it, I suppose." She was quiet for a moment. "Subaru… what is your reason to live, I wonder?"

He didn't even need to think about it. "Emilia and Satella," he answered instantly.

"They're not your reason to live, I suppose," Beatrice said sadly like she realized that would be his answer. "If they were, you would not have tried to hurt yourself, in fact."

She could see he was getting frustrated with his lack of understanding, or perhaps her perceived misunderstanding. She drained a bit of his mana, trying to take the edge off. That way, he would truly listen to her. "You are Betty's reason to live, in fact." She hugged his arm tight, as if afraid that he would disappear if she let go. "Every day, Betty wakes up, thankful to be by your side, I suppose. Betty loves her Subaru more than anything else."

He frowned at the contradiction. "You said you'd go on without me," he reminded her. "I can't be your reason to live."

She narrowed her eyes and said lowly, "Let me ask you something, I suppose. Do you want Betty to die, I wonder?"

He reeled back as if struck. "What the hell kind of question is that? Of course, I don't!"

She nodded, satisfied with his answer. "And that's why Betty will live, even if you die."

He didn't understand. He _couldn't_ understand.

His reason to live was Emilia. His knife was always handy, ready for him to stab himself in the throat if need be. He would save her, no matter how much it hurt.

His reason to live was Satella. He never told Beatrice or Emilia, but on one cold, cruel night, he decided to leave it all to his next incarnation. He laid there, bleeding out in the Watchtower, wearing his first smile in months, for she would be saved in his next life.

They were his reason to live, and that's why he killed himself.

And that's when he realized that he was looking at it the wrong way.

Emilia and Satella were his reason to _die._

What a wretched, slothful existence.

Beatrice's eyes softened. "Now, you understand," she whispered gently. "You need to find your reason to live, I suppose. I know it's not me, but that's fine, in fact. There are different kinds of love, and I know that I'm still important to you, I suppose."

Beatrice leaned into him, letting him play with her hair the way she knew he liked to. She would never admit it, but she liked it, too. Even in his miserable state, his deft fingers masterfully weaved in and out of her blond locks, tenderly massaging her scalp. He played each strand of hair like the strings of the finest harp, performing for an audience of one.

Her lips wavered as it truly dawned on her just how close she was to losing moments like these, to losing _him_ , but she pushed her grief down. She needed to remain strong for her contractor. So, she wrapped her arms around him, the way she always did after his nightmares, and whispered, "Let Betty help you find your reason, I suppose."

Subaru clung to her like a lifeline and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much, Beako," he said softly. "I can't live without you."

She relaxed into his embrace and laid her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It had almost stopped, and she would never take it for granted again. "Betty loves her Subaru, too," she said, though it was muffled by his shirt. "Even if you don't understand why, just remember that it's true, I suppose."

He averted his eyes. "Okay," he said at length. "I'll remember."

"Promise," she begged. "You broke your promise, so I need you to give Betty a new one."

" _A lying promise-breaker,"_ Emilia had shouted at him in the tomb. To think that over a year later, he still hadn't changed… he hated it, hated _himself._ He hated making baseless oaths. He hated doing things purely for his own personal gain.

From now on, he would only promise something when he intended to uphold his end of the bargain.

"I promise, Beatrice," he said quietly but sincerely. "I know that doesn't mean much right now, so as proof, I'll add it as a rule to our contract."

Her eyes widened. "You mean it?"

Contracts were only modified in drastic cases, like with Emilia and Puck when they needed to change the flow of mana. Subaru hated to admit it, but this was also a life-or-death situation. He managed a shaky smile. "You got to make five rules as my spirit, so it's only fair I make one as your contractor, right?"

She nodded furiously and held her palm out, saying, "Name your terms."

Subaru looked at her with determination and spoke the most important rule of their contract.

_Six: I will always be Betty's Subaru, and I will never leave you._

The Od Laguna imprinted the solemn vow upon their very souls: a promise that would never fade, for nothing could break the terms of their contract.

She looked at their entwined fingers in awe, feeling the magic flow through them, before adopting a stern expression. "This doesn't change anything," she reminded him. "I'm still mad at you, I suppose."

He bowed his head with a smirk. "Forgive me, Dearest Beako, for I have sinned."

Clearly, that was the wrong answer. "No more joking about your pain," she reprimanded. "It makes Betty sad, and that breaks Unofficial Rule Number One of our contract: no sadness allowed."

He chuckled a bit. "I think I've broken that rule one too many times, but whatever. I'll try not to joke about suffering."

"Good, I suppose," she said with a nod. She hopped off the bed and offered him her hand. "Ready, I wonder?"

Raising his eyebrows, he asked. "Ready for what?"

She gave him a look that clearly said she thought he was hopeless. "I said that was your last chance, remember? You're going to go tell Emilia what happened, I suppose."

He glared at her. "No way," he said with a tone that brooked no argument. "I'm not putting her through that."

"Stop being so selfless," she shot back. "You need all the support you can get, in fact."

"I'll just feel worse if I upset her," he said angrily.

She crossed her arms. "You're not being Betty's Subaru," she said lowly. "Betty's Subaru isn't a coward, and you made a promise to always be him."

They stared each other down before Subaru relented. "Fine," he muttered, resigned. Once again, she offered him her hand, and he slowly slid off the bed. Almost immediately, he collapsed.

"Damn it," he grunted. With Beatrice's help, he managed to stand, although he was still a bit unsteady. He grimaced, asking, "Felix healed me, right? They say he's the best in Lugunica, but he's nothing compared to you."

She winced, and his frown deepened. In sheer disbelief, he asked, "Wait, you don't actually blame yourself for any of this, right?"

She looked at him guiltily. "Betty knew you were feeling that way, so she promised herself to never let you out of her sight, I suppose. Then, Betty let herself fall unconscious, in fact."

He gaped at her. "That's ridiculous," he exclaimed. " _None of this_ is your fault!"

She averted her eyes and stubbornly said, "Subaru has no right to dissuade anyone from feeling self-blame, I suppose." At his silence, she pressed on, bitterly saying, "Subaru left my sight for less than ten minutes and almost died. It's Betty's fault.

It was twisted logic, but he employed it all the time if it meant criticizing himself. He narrowed his eyes. "You're learning from me," he grumbled, "and I hate it."

She gave him a wry grin. "That's what it means to be a spirit and contractor." She squeezed his hand. "Let's go, I suppose. Your little girlfriend is worried about you."

Emilia had been placed in a room down the hall, so it was an easy trip. She was sitting up in bed, staring listlessly at her lap. Subaru softly called out her name and she whipped around to face him. Her amethyst eyes, red-rimmed from crying, lit up at the sight of him. "Subaru!" she exclaimed.

He waved back weakly. "Hey, Emilia-tan."

Beatrice gently pushed him forward, saying, "I'll leave you two alone, I suppose. Don't forget your promise to me."

Emilia looked at Subaru strangely after Beatrice left. "What promise?" she asked.

He shifted uncomfortably, dreading the upcoming conversation. "I'll explain soon enough, but right now…"

She gazed at him with eyes that had seen too much. She needed him, too.

He sat down on the bed and wrapped an arm around her as she leaned into his embrace. He held her to his chest, placing gentle kisses on her silver hair. Eventually, his lips found hers, and the world was forgotten for the moment.

He tried to die to have another moment like this. By dying, he risked giving it up forever.

He attempted to pull away, but she dragged him back in to kiss him again. Desperation coated her every movement as she left gracefulness behind in favor of passion.

She had yearned for his touch for months, and the day after he finally gifted her with it, he almost left her. She never wanted to let go, but humans needed to breathe, and half-elves were no different. Her lips left his, but her grip on his arms remained firm.

"I'm just glad you're okay," he told her. "I thought you died, Emilia."

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Me?" she asked incredulously. "I thought _you_ died! I-I thought I was alone again!"

A pang of guilt shot through him. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised.

' _Even though I almost did,'_ he thought ruefully.

"You can't go," she begged. "I need you, Subaru."

"And I need you, Emilia." So much so, he would die for her. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said softly. How long had he waited to hear those wonderful words? She snaked a hand around his neck, pulling him in. "I love you more than anything. I can't live without you."

Her tears were salty, but her kiss was the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted.

He didn't deserve her. He never would, but he'd try his best to be a man worthy of standing by her side. That meant he'd have to keep his promises, including the one he made to Beatrice.

His entire body tensed, but he forced the words out. "Listen, I… I messed up, Emilia. I messed up really bad."

She shook her head. "You didn't mess up," she said with a hint of pride. "The man who destroyed my home… you stopped him. You killed Regulus." Her face fell as she cast her eyes downward. "I'm the one who messed up. I did nothing. The entire time, I was unconscious."

Fountains of blood flashed before his mind's eye. "You weren't just unconscious," he confessed with haunted eyes. At her confused look, he asked, "Do you remember what Regulus did to you?"

She tapped a finger to her chin. "It's a bit fuzzy… he knocked me into a wall, right?" She nodded to herself, saying, "Yeah, that seems right. I had a bunch of bruises and a concussion, but Felix fixed me right up."

Subaru let out a shaky breath. "That's… that's good, yeah."

He never wanted her to remember.

She tilted her head. "Why do you ask?"

How much should he say? "Your injuries were a lot worse than that. I think…" He looked towards the door, making sure it was shut. "I think _she_ saved you."

He didn't need to specify who _she_ was.

Emilia's eyes widened before her features softened into a smile. "That explains why there were shadows," she mused. "I thought it was simply a result of losing consciousness. It seems there's yet another thing I have to thank her for."

"Another?" he asked.

She leaned into his embrace. "Mhm. She keeps you safe."

He wanted to leave it at that; end the emotional moment on a touching note as he held the woman he loved… but Subaru didn't deserve that, and Emilia deserved better.

So, with bated breath, he told her the truth: how, when he thought she died, he tried to join her.

Return by Death wasn't an excuse. He simply gave up on life, and now he had to face the consequences. He wasn't sure exactly what was coming, but what he knew was that he broke his promise to Emilia. His second trial burned through his mind.

" _Liar!"_ Emilia had cried over his bloodied corpse. _"Subaru, you liar! You said you loved me! You promised to stay by my side!"_

To keep himself sane, Subaru had to view this as one looping timeline. There were no parallel universes. However, if that was false, and he truly was going to another world, then he would have left Emilia alone.

' _Just like in the Tower,'_ he thought bitterly before pushing it down.

Even in Japan, he'd lived in two alternate realities: one with parents, and one without. Hell, he was literally in another world right now. Was it so far-fetched to think that Return by Death sent him to another reality?

It was time to accept the truth. He wasn't looping. He was dying and leaving everyone behind.

He was a liar. A lying promise-breaker who didn't have the strength to stand by her side. So, he would accept her rejection. Her anger. Her resentment.

Except that's not how Emilia worked.

"Don't leave me," she whispered as she clung desperately to him. "Don't go."

Subaru gaped at Emilia. "What are you –"

"Please." Her voice was small. Weak. Shaken. The voice of a young girl afraid of losing everything. "I can't live without you, Subaru. I can't. Please, don't leave me."

After hearing her broken voice, he almost wished for her to condemn him. "H-hey, I'm right here, yeah?" He wiped her tears, but dozens more replaced it.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck as hot tears soaked his shoulder. "Need you… you can't… love you… don't…"

He tried to comfort her, but she kept repeating broken phrases and pleas. He'd kiss her forehead, stroke her hair, rub her back… everything that calmed her down when the memories became too much, but nothing worked.

She was in hysterics because of _him_ , yet all he could do was apologize.

For over an hour, Emilia wept. She was unable to form a coherent thought, let alone speak one. The mere _idea_ that Subaru could die left her nearly catatonic.

For the first time, Subaru was glad she didn't know about Return by Death.

Slowly but surely, her sobs turned to hiccups, but her grip on him did not lessen. "Did you mean it?" she asked quietly, unevenly, her tumultuous emotions preventing her from speaking clearly.

"What, my apology?" he asked, sweeping her hair out of her face. "Of course, I meant it."

She shook her head vehemently as she scrunched up his shirt in her fists. "That's not what I meant, you blockhead."

He rolled his eyes. "No one says –"

"Were you lying when you said you loved me?"

With those few words, Subaru's heart shattered to pieces. "What?" he asked in disbelief. "How can you say something like that?"

She began to shake as her grip tightened. "When you love someone, you stay by their side. You don't abandon them." Fresh tears poured down her cheeks as her voice wavered even further. "W-we were supposed to be a team, Subaru, but you left me," she croaked. "Does that mean –"

"No!" he shouted, startling her. "I love you more than life itself, Emilia!"

She let out a choked laugh. "Well, that clearly isn't very much."

He winced. "Look, I…" He took a deep breath. "I just wanted to save you."

She pushed off him, suddenly furious. "How?" she yelled as her sobs intensified. "How would _dying_ save me?"

He reached out for her, but she backed away. "I don't understand!" she cried. "Why would you do that? Why would you hurt yourself?" Horror filled her eyes. "It's my fault, isn't it? You wouldn't have done this if not for me!"

He opened his mouth to rebuke her, to tell her that he killed himself before, but the world stopped. A hand reached out to caress his heart, but it did not squeeze. It was gentle, loving. Not a threat, but a warning.

It was not the Witch's hand, but Satella's.

She knew he wasn't going to mention Return by Death, but the Sage's suicide. It would have proved his point, yes, but it wouldn't be the correct way forward. It would break her even further.

Once again, she wasn't just looking out for him… but for Emilia.

The world resumed, and he took a deep breath, keeping his face carefully blank. "I was a mess," he told Emilia instead, "and I wasn't thinking clearly. I swear, in that moment, I thought that dying would have fixed everything. _None of that_ is your fault."

She searched his eyes, looking for any signs of deceit. Then, in a small voice filled with resignation, she muttered, "This is madness."

"I'm not lying," he insisted.

"I know you're not," Emilia said lowly. "I just… I don't understand, Subaru. What could have _possibly_ led you to believe such a _stupid_ thing? Was it from blood loss? A concussion? Some curse that causes temporary insanity?"

He flinched, hating that he had to keep using this line. "I can't tell you."

Emilia frowned as if expecting that answer. "I want to believe you," she said quietly before shaking her head. "No, I _do_ believe you, and that's the concerning part."

Subaru let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Thank you, really, I –"

"You're under constant watch," she declared. "I will not be leaving your side for an instant."

Her voice shook, but she pressed onward. "You… you fell under this insane idea that _killing yourself_ would save my life." Her fists clenched as if the mere idea caused her indescribable pain. "What if that happened again? What would I do? How could I go on?"

"You'd be fine," he wanted to say, but couldn't. As much as he claimed that everyone would be okay without him, he knew for a fact that Emilia would be dead if not for his intervention.

Even so, something told him that she wasn't talking about her physical state.

She took several shuddering breaths, the fight leaving her with each exhale. Sorrow replaced the anger as she moved to sit by his side with guilt in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

He looked at her in surprise. "What are _you_ sorry for?" he asked incredulously. "I almost killed myself!"

She flinched, and he felt a dozen times worse. Slowly, like she wasn't sure she had permission anymore, she reached out to grab his hand. "That's why I'm sorry," she explained sadly. "You're in pain, and I'm only thinking about myself."

He shook his head. "You have every right to be upset," he admitted, shamefaced. "What I did was selfish. Even if you _were_ dead, and if me dying would have saved you, I'd still be leaving this world behind, and that's wrong. Beatrice would lose her contractor, and," he gulped, "who knows how long _she_ would wait before my next incarnation showed up, let alone one with my memories?"

Emilia gently stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. "Too long," she whispered. "Perhaps another four hundred years too long." Subaru flinched, but she pressed onwards. "Juice would remain insane, and…" she took a shaky breath, like she couldn't believe she was about to say it, "Shaula would still be stuck in the Tower."

It was like Emilia punched him in the gut, harder than Regulus ever could. Tears leaked from his eyes, and she leaned forward to wipe them away.

"You see it now," she said softly as she stared into his eyes, "don't you? You're important to so many people, Subaru. You're loved by all you meet." Her amethyst eyes, no longer shedding tears as she remained strong for him, pierced into his soul. "I love you, Subaru. You saved my life. No matter what becomes of me, that fact will never change."

"But there's nothing without you," he argued, his voice weak. "How can I go on without the woman I love?"

"Don't worry about that," she said, smiling fondly at him. "We're going to make it to the end, hand in hand. I won't die that easily, not with my knight by my side."

"But what if you do?" he shot back. Her countless deaths played out in his mind's eye. Not once did he regret following her into the Reaper's cold embrace. "What do I live for if you're gone?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck, whispering, "You'll live for my memory."

His breath caught in his throat. Beatrice had said something similar, like it was so obvious. Did it really work like that? Could he truly live for someone's _memory_?

Emilia stroked his cheek, knowing full well what was going through his mind. "If you died," she said quietly, "I'd be beyond devastated. I wouldn't ever be the same. I couldn't move past it. I wouldn't be surprised if I –" She cut herself off, shaking her head to clear it. "However, every moment of every day, I'd remember how you saved me. I'd remember your smile when you said you loved me. I'd remember how it felt to hold you, or to kiss you."

The smallest of smiles danced upon her lips as she pressed her fingers to them, reliving his warmth. She kissed him again as if to test that her memory was accurate, and she smiled as she was proven right. "I love you, Subaru. If you died, I can't see myself ever loving again because you'd always be in my heart. You're my reason to live, whether you're by my side or not."

He shook his head. That was _not_ how it worked. Not with him. "I'm not like you," he said stubbornly. "I can't do that. No mere memory compares to having you by my side."

Her amethyst eyes gleamed like the finest of diamonds as she leaned her forehead against his. "Then it's good we're never going to get to that point," she whispered before momentarily pressing her lips to his. He felt the same jolt he always did, but it was dulled by memories of her deaths.

That couldn't happen. He couldn't lose her again. He'd do everything he could to save her. Reason to live or not, he'd be damned if he let anything happen to her. He would make her the Queen of Lugunica, where he would proudly stand by her side as her knight.

Did he have the strength to do such a thing? He was done making promises he couldn't keep, so could he really promise to make it to the end without dying?

Yeah. He could.

He killed multiple Sin Archbishops. He plotted the demise of countless unstoppable foes. Those were _his_ actions… not the Sage's.

If he could do that, then surely, he could protect the one he loved.

And if he could fight so hard for her… then surely, he could learn to live for her, too.

Emilia pulled back slowly, saying, "I'll always be by your side, Subaru. Through thick and thin, for better or for worse, I'm right here." He couldn't see it, being so close to her face, but he could feel her smile. "Do you know why that is?"

He took a shuddering breath before saying, "Because I'm your reason to live."

She hummed, satisfied that he understood. "I know that, deep down, I'm your reason as well," she admitted. Her warm fingers danced on his neck as she smiled comfortingly at him. "But right now, you're not doing so well."

He didn't respond. He didn't need to.

Their breaths intermingled as she held him close. "I know you don't like yourself very much," she whispered, "even though I think you're marvelous."

"No one says that in real life," he mumbled, but his heart wasn't into it.

She smiled at him, and his breath caught in his throat. "It's a good word to describe you," she said earnestly. "Every day, I'm going to make sure you know how marvelous you are. Every day, I'm going to show you how much I love you." Her grip on him tightened as her eyes shone with determination. "Every day, I'm going to give you a memory worth living for."

He choked up. "You don't have to do that," he muttered.

"I want to," she said earnestly. "I want you to see yourself the way I see you."

She gently pushed him back on the bed, laying his head on the pillow as she stroked his cheek. "I love that you make me a stronger person," she whispered, for her words were meant for him and him alone. "I love how you hold me when the nightmares become too much, and how you grant me the strength to overcome them."

She lied on top of him, their lips inches apart as his arms snaked around her waist. "I love your eyes," she said quietly, taking a moment to admire them. She wiped the tears that fell from them, smiling as they gazed back up at her in wonder. "People say they're scary, but I see kindness. They're the eyes that asked to be my friend when I had none, and the ones that gave me love in a loveless world."

She kissed him, lighting a fire through his body. He let a hand creep up her back to rest between her shoulder blades, gently pushing her into him. Everything about her was so warm, so soft, and his heart ached when she pulled back.

"I love your compassion," she murmured breathlessly. "Even when someone is cruel to you, you see their pain and try to save them."

His lips locked to hers as his body said what he could not.

For over ten minutes, Emilia declared everything she loved about him, kissing him between each statement. Overwhelmed as he was, Subaru was not able to respond verbally. He simply drowned in her affection, wondering how he got so lucky.

He had never been happier than when she informed him that they'd be doing that every day for the rest of their lives.

She lay beside him, idly drawing circles on his chest as she smiled lazily at him. "I don't know about you," she said with a blush, "but I think that was a memory worth living for."

He merely laid still, unable to believe what just happened. Maybe it was simply the adrenaline running through his body, but right then, he realized what it meant to _live_ for someone.

It wasn't merely to fight to save them. It wasn't only to sacrifice himself for their survival.

It was to love and be loved. To give and to take. To live life to the fullest, because his happiness was theirs.

Had Subaru ever had that kind of relationship before?

Looking back on it, he and Satella were like that… but they lost it. As she became increasingly sick, Subaru's sanity fell by the wayside. He became possessive. Dangerous. Angry. He would have sacrificed the world to keep her safe. He loved her unconditionally, of that there was no doubt, but he was not of sound mind. His love was toxic and harmed her more than helped. To this day, he didn't understand why she stayed with him, let alone continued to love him.

With Emilia, Subaru would give up everything for her. While not as bad as the Sage, Subaru had still been possessive over her. He remembered how jealous he acted towards Julius, and how terrified he was of letting Emilia out of his sight. He made a fool of himself in the name of love, but it was merely lust and his own self-serving ideology. He treated her like a doll whose only purpose was to boost his confidence.

But he wasn't the same Subaru, was he?

He didn't know how he'd act if she died again. He wasn't sure if he could stop himself from committing suicide. As long as he had Return by Death, that was an option for him.

That's exactly why he would not let her die. He would protect her from the machinations of a monster.

Emilia was his reason to live, and he told her so.

At that, she smiled wider than he'd ever seen, and she held him yet again. She laid on him as her lips caressed his. She threaded her hands through his hair as warmth and love flowed through him. He had never felt so lucky, so happy, so _fulfilled_. He would live for moments like these, and he would never forget them.

For the first time in centuries, Subaru Natsuki understood what it meant to be in love, and he reveled in that sensation for hours.

The sun was high in the sky when Beatrice found Subaru and Emilia curled up against each other, Emilia's head on her lover's chest.

"Pathetic, I suppose," said Beatrice with crossed arms.

Not a trace of annoyance could be found in her voice.

"You tell Betty you love her, yet you immediately run to another woman's side, in fact." Her butterfly eyes danced with mirth. "It seems my contractor's misadventures with women spread further than I thought, I suppose."

Emilia giggled and Subaru gasped dramatically. "Oh, no!" he exclaimed. "My one true waifu, my dearest Beako, has found me with a fair maiden!" He slapped the back of his hand against his forehead and pretended to faint. "Whatever shall I do?"

"Beg for my forgiveness, I suppose," Beatrice deadpanned. Her eyes softened. "How are you feeling, Subaru?"

Subaru opened his mouth to say he was fine, but it was a loaded question, and she deserved a proper answer.

As long as he had Return by Death, he would suffer. Subaru would never again use Return by Death.

He was alone in his grief, for he could not speak of it, and they would break if he were able to tell them. He was never alone because his family loved him.

He was haunted by his actions as the Sage. He had a chance to make things right.

He was constantly hurting his loved ones, and he didn't understand why they stayed with him. They loved him unconditionally, and he would cherish them forever.

He no longer had a reason to die, but he had many reasons to live.

Subaru looked Beatrice in the eye, gave her a genuine smile, and spoke from the heart.

"I'm glad I'm here."


	18. Allies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for agreeing to a lifelong alliance.

_There was something special about Lugunica's air. Not only was it bereft of Earth's pollution, but the magic that permeated the atmosphere intoxicated the senses._

_Of touch, like a gentle massage brushing over his skin.  
Of smell, like a freshly baked pie drifting out of a nearby window.  
Of taste, like the sweetest of honey.  
Of sight, like softly swaying grass in the breeze.  
Of sound, like a conductor's masterful command over an orchestra._

_Subaru was one of the lucky few capable of feeling mana in such a way, and he reveled in the sensation._

_Satella, on the other hand, loved the air for an entirely different reason._

" _I did it," she whispered in awe. Her eyes widened as she took in her surroundings. "I… I took off my hood… in public." She felt the tips of her ears. "The morning air… it feels so lovely."_

_Subaru chuckled as he fondly said, "You're easy to please, you know that?"_

" _You say that, but you're talking to someone who's never been able to show her face without people throwing stones."_

_He sobered at the reminder._ _It seemed that no matter what world you were in, people were racist bastards._

_He plastered a grin on his face. "Well, you won't have to deal with that anymore, 'Sorceress.'"_

_She gave a coy smile. "Mhm. That makes me happy, 'Sage.'"_

_Satella and Subaru. The Sorceress and the Sage. They went from nobodies to veritable celebrities, and their reputation only grew in the following year. After all, they weren't exclusively healers; with time and practice, the two had become masters at all kinds of magic, though they still preferred one area._

_Satella, true to her roots, was an expert healer. Mortal wounds and deadly diseases cowered before her gentle touch. Subaru couldn't help but compare her feats to those of biblical figures from his homeland._

_Subaru, on the other hand, was a master of combat magic. It was a well-known fact that if a monster was terrorizing the countryside, the Sage would come to drive it off. Still, just like Satella, he was quite the accomplished healer. He doubted he'd ever reach her level, but that was fine with him._

_Currently, they were traveling to the fledgling settlement of Priestella. According to some reports, they had been hit with a pandemic, and no healer was able to find a cure. In other words, the perfect job for them._

_On the road, they found an unconscious man. Subaru was willing to write it off as a random drunk who wandered too far out of town, but there was something strange about his aura._

_Satella must have noticed it, too, for she dashed towards the fallen man and kneeled before him. She held her palms out as the thick presence of her magic permeated the area. "He has no mana," she muttered. "That's not an issue for a normal human, but…"_

_Subaru sat beside her as she worked, idly noting, "He's not a human. He's a spirit."_

_She narrowed her eyes in thought. "But what spirit would have such a poor mana absorption rate? The only one I know with a problem like that is…" She trailed off and clenched her fists. A spark of anger, or perhaps hurt, entered her eyes. "So, she made another."_

_He looked at her in confusion. "Who made a what?"_

_Taking a shaky breath and steeling her gaze, she ignored Subaru's question in favor of giving him an instruction. "Get me my canteen," she ordered. "He'll be thirsty when I'm done with him."_

_He turned away for a moment to grab the water. When he came back, the man was gone. Subaru was hit with a spot of panic as he asked, "What did you do to him?!"_

_Satella's back was to him, so he couldn't read her expression. "The water, please."_

" _B-but he –"_

" _Water," she snapped._

" _R-right, sorry," he said meekly. He handed her the canteen and caught a glimpse of what was in her lap. His eyes widened. "Is that…"_

" _That's him, yes."_

_Subaru couldn't help it. He threw his head back and laughed. "You gave him a new body, just like that. You're incredible, Ella."_

_She blushed. "It's nothing special, really," she insisted. "His current body stopped absorbing mana, so I gave him another one. Simple as that."_

" _Only you would call it simple," he said, amused at her modesty. "I'm still struggling to create functioning limbs consistently, and here you are, turning humanoid spirits into… well, I'm curious as to how he'll see this."_

_Satella smiled fondly at the spirit. "Hopefully, he takes it well. He's cute."_

" _Should I be jealous?" Subaru asked mischievously._

" _Of a cat?" she asked with a laugh. "Of course not."_

_The spirit blearily opened his eyes and yawned. Satella rushed to drop some water into his mouth and he lapped it up greedily. After drinking his fill, he looked around, and his eyes landed on Subaru. The spirit opened his mouth…_

… _and screamed in terror. "M-M-MONSTER!"_

" _Come on," Subaru whined. "I'm not_ that _scary, am I?"_

_Satella covered her mouth in a vain attempt to hide her giggles. "We're not monsters, silly. You're just a bit shorter now."_

_The spirit whipped around and almost screamed again before looking down at himself. "Paws," he whispered in awe. "I have paws." He put said paws on his face and felt around. "I'm soft… and fluffy. Does this mean I'm… cute?" A grin split his face in two. "This is amazing! Thanks so much! I always wanted to be cute like Betty!"_

" _Not the expected reaction for a humanoid turning into a flying cat," Subaru said lightly, "but I'm not complaining." He froze as the spirit's words caught up to him. "Wait, Betty? You wouldn't happen to mean Beatrice, would you?"_

_The spirit cocked his head to the side. "Blonde pigtails, butterfly-shaped pupils, red dress, looks about twelve-years-old?"_

_Subaru matched his movements. "Adorable as hell, perpetual frown, always ends her sentences with 'I suppose,' 'in fact,' or 'I wonder'?"_

_The two looked at each other strangely. "Huh," they said together._

" _How do you know Beatrice?" asked Subaru._

" _She's my sister," the spirit explained. "How about you?"_

_Subaru's eyes widened with realization. "You were made by Echidna," he said instead of answering the question._

_The spirit frowned, but whether it was at Subaru's knowledge or him dodging the question, he wasn't sure. "I see you know of my… loving mother," the spirit said cautiously as if something dreadful would happen if he revealed too much. Knowing Echidna, that was probably true._

" _You don't have to tell us anything if you don't want to," Satella soothed. "We're familiar with Echidna's methods."_

_The spirit sagged in relief. "I'm not sure whether to thank you for your understanding or to apologize for her actions, whatever they were."_

_Subaru and Satella glanced at each other. Apparently, they had not been mentioned. It seemed that ten years was nothing to a Witch who aimed for immortality. Still, Subaru couldn't help but ask, "Did Beatrice say anything about us?" Realizing they didn't give their names yet, he quickly added, "I go by Flugel, and this is my wife, Satella."_

_The spirit put a paw to his chin in thought. "Betty once said that there were other people where she came from but never elaborated."_

_Did that mean she was mad at them? Did she hate them? Subaru wouldn't blame her for either. "How is she?" he asked hesitantly. "Is she… okay? Happy?"_

_The spirit, oblivious to Subaru's tumultuous thoughts, flashed a smile. "Betty's doing great," he chirped. "She even made a friend, though she'll never admit it."_

_Subaru breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good," he said sincerely. "As long as she's okay."_

" _I was so worried she'd be lonely without us," Satella interjected with a sad smile, "but it makes me happy to know that she made a friend." The words, "I just wish I could be there to see it," went unsaid._

_Subaru cleared his throat. "Anyway," he said, changing the subject, "I don't think we caught your name." He managed a shaky smile. "Mind giving it to us before you go back to… wherever you were going?"_

" _Of course!" The spirit floated into the air and grinned. "My name is Puck. Thanks so much for saving me!"_

* * *

It was fascinating, Subaru mused, how some things seemed fated to happen.

The confrontation with Elsa in the loot house was a given, but that's because Felt stole the insignia right after his save point. There was nothing he could do.

However, everything after that was different. They had killed multiple Sin Archbishops in the past few months, and the Lugunican people were whispering on the streets about the "half-elf that's keeping them safe."

Emilia also said she loved him, but that was beside the point.

Almost nothing happened as it did the last time around, and history was forever changed. After all, it is said that the beat of a butterfly's wings could cause a tsunami on the other side of the world. Subaru took that to the extreme and created a black hole, destroying an entire forest and hundreds of mabeasts. That should have astronomical implications.

Despite that, he came back to the same place: in Crusch Karsten's mansion, recovering from serious injuries and being eyed critically by Felix Argyle, Wilhelm Trias, and the lady herself.

Sure, things were a bit different now. First, he didn't make a fool of himself at the Royal Selection. Hell, that event hadn't even happened yet. Second, Rem was still unconscious from mana exhaustion, though Felix said she would be up in a couple of hours. Instead, Beatrice and Emilia were locked to his side, refusing to let him out of their sight. Third, Felix _despised_ Subaru for giving up on life, but that was understandable. Subaru wasn't a fan of himself at that moment, either.

The fourth significant difference was their political situation. Crusch didn't have a deal with Emilia. This time, they were in debt.

Subaru knew they needed to proceed carefully. They had to show gratitude, of course. They certainly _felt_ grateful. However, too much thankfulness placed them at a disadvantage. Crusch's Camp saved their _lives_. She could demand _anything_ from them.

Perhaps Crusch would ask them to drop out of the Royal Selection. Then again, that would imply they were viewed as competition. Crusch Karsten had nothing to fear from a half-elf. Still, the way Crusch was studying them, it seemed that she had an idea of what their goal was, and why that made them such a threat to her Camp. Maybe she figured out that Emilia was the half-elf that the public was whispering about.

Subaru knew that if they were asked to drop out, Emilia would say yes. Despite how it would ruin her, and demolish her chances of saving the elves, she viewed promises and debts above all else. Such was the way of a Spirit Arts User.

He wouldn't let that happen. Gathering his thoughts and taking a deep breath, he –

"We are in your debt."

_'What.'_

Maybe he didn't hear that right. Did Crusch, leader of the Camp that _saved their lives_ , just say –

"The Royal Knights were scrambling to figure out what happened," Crusch explained, "until we found a young woman on the scene. She identified herself as 'Number 172.'" Her mouth twisted in distaste. "The sheer amount of emotional abuse that poor girl had gone through was frightening. It took some time, but we got enough information out of her."

Her eyes lowered in shame. "To think that someone so vile was committing such atrocities while surrounded by hundreds of knights… A blow to our pride of this magnitude has not been seen for generations." She shook her head to clear it, saying, "Regardless of our inaction, I'm glad Felix was nearby when your maid crashed through the wall. It wasn't difficult to discern that you were the ones to solve the issue. Healing you was the least we could have done."

She bowed her head, Felix and Wilhelm following suit. "Thank you for defeating one of Lugunica's most dangerous enemies," she told them sincerely. "As the head of the Noble House that bears the crest of the Lion King, I would like to offer you a boon. Name it, and if it is within our power, we shall provide it.

Subaru's heart pounded. This was it. One of their greatest obstacles in the Royal Selection could be removed. It was that easy.

...But could he do it? He cared about Crusch. He really, truly did. However, not two hours ago, he promised to lead Emilia to victory. He couldn't throw that away, for he was done breaking promises.

Still... he couldn't do that to her: to Emilia or to Crusch. It was wrong, and he hated himself for even considering it. He truly was the Sage.

So, what could they do? They could get anything. What did they need? What would Emilia accept? What was –

Emilia gently placed her hand on his leg, dragging him out of his racing thoughts. Her eyes were stern, and their message was clear. They said, "Let me handle this."

He wanted more than anything to press forward, but he had long ago learned to trust her.

And... he wasn't in a good place right now, was he? His judgment was off. Maybe it was okay for him to stand down.

"We appreciate your generous offer, Lady Crusch," Emilia said politely.

Crusch waved her off. "Please, Crusch is fine. You have earned my respect, after all."

Emilia hummed noncommittally, but it was obvious to anyone paying attention that she appreciated the sentiment. It was not often that one trusted a half-elf, after all. "Thank you, Crusch," she amended. "To fulfill the debt you owe, I would like to propose an alliance between our Camps."

It took everything Subaru had to not gape at Emilia. Was this girl for real?

It appeared that Crusch was wondering something along the same lines if her raised eyebrows were any indication. "An… alliance," she muttered in disbelief. "You could have asked us to drop out of the Royal Selection, and all you ask for is… an alliance."

Emilia shook her head vehemently. "Of course not. I must also request that you not reveal what Felix walked in on when he came to heal us." She lowered her eyes as she sorrowfully said, "More specifically, the mental state my knight was in."

Subaru's mouth dried up as he folded in on himself. He ruined it, didn't he?

"In my experience," she continued, "the general populace is not very… understanding."

' _I'm such a fuck-up,'_ he thought ruefully. His emotions must have spilled over to Beatrice because she gave his hand a comforting squeeze.

"I don't want to ruin my knight's reputation over a single mistake," Emilia said, sending a shaky smile in Subaru's direction, "especially when he should be lauded as a hero. I think those two conditions are a fair trade for our deeds, right?"

He didn't deserve her.

Felix glared at Subaru, but he couldn't find it in himself to glare back. "Someone as selfish and cowardly as him should nyot be lauded as a hero," the demi-human spat.

Crusch held up her hand, ending the fight before it could begin. "Hush, Felix," she scolded. "I am aware of your views towards people in Subaru's position, but I will not have you insult our honored guest," she scolded.

Felix grimaced like he'd swallowed a lemon but backed off. "Apologies, Lady Crush. I will keep my temper in check."

"Thank you," said Crusch before nodding to Emilia. "That seems to be a fair trade. I accept your terms, Lady Emilia."

Emilia managed a smile. "It's Emilia. Only Emilia. Thank you, Crusch."

Crusch interlaced her fingers in front of her face. "Now, back to business. You've eliminated the Sin Archbishop of Greed," she stated matter-of-factly. "Is it a fair assumption to say that you are the half-elf that took down the Bowel Hunter and the Sin Archbishop of Lust as well?"

Emilia smiled proudly. "It was my Camp, yes, but I give credit where credit is due. All three were defeated because of my knight."

Subaru knew that his typical denial would get them nowhere and would only discredit her words. So, despite his tumultuous thoughts, he pulled out E·M·H.

' _I'm surprised they gave this back to me,'_ he mused. _'I suppose it would look strange for a knight to be weaponless.'_

Pushing it out of his mind, he explained, "This was Capella's dagger. She wanted to use it against the Sin Archbishops of Sloth or Wrath, but apparently, I pissed her off so much that she deemed me worthy." He put his hand on Beatrice's head, but she didn't protest. She just continued to hold onto him. "My spirit and I took care of Capella, and I named this dagger after Emilia as an act of spite."

Crusch looked impressed. "You must have considerable strength to defeat a fearsome foe."

Subaru shook his head. "My strength lies in my allies," he admitted. "I've done a few things, yeah, but I'm mostly the tactician behind our group of misfits."

Crusch wasn't deterred as she insisted, "But surely, you must have some incredible power that you're not telling us about."

Despite the emotional exhaustion plaguing him, Subaru laughed disparagingly. She had no idea how right she was, but Subaru wasn't lying, either. "I'm serious, Crusch. I got a few tricks up my sleeve, and they're certainly useful, but they don't do much in combat. I just happen to make some stupid plans up on the spot, and they happen to work."

Emilia was about to speak up but Beatrice beat her to it, saying, "Subaru is too modest, I suppose." Everyone's attention went to the great spirit, who had remained silent up until that point. "He defeated the Bowel Hunter in one-to-one combat while on the verge of unconsciousness, in fact," she revealed with pride in her voice. "Using his own power, he reverted the effects of the Authority of Lust, something previously thought to be impossible, I suppose. He guided my power to create a trap that light could not escape, killing the Sin Archbishop of Lust."

Emilia piped up, saying, "I decapitated Capella, and she didn't die. It just goes to show that what Subaru did was reeaally amazing."

Waiting for a moment to let that sink in, Beatrice continued. "Regulus was even harder to kill because even if you put a knife to his throat, he wouldn't die. Subaru managed to kill him anyway, I suppose." Her eyes watered as she remembered how hurt her contractor was. "Subaru was moments away from dying, but he saved us all, in fact."

She sniffled but pressed forward, wanting to get her point across. "My contractor is not as strong as the other people in this room," she said softly, "but he uses what little power he has in such a way that he will always come out on top, I suppose."

He choked up, silently telling her, _'Thank you, Beako.'_

She squeezed his arm tight as if she were afraid of letting go. ' _Thank me by never forgetting that, I suppose._ _'_

Emilia's features softened as she fondly said, "It's like I told you. My knight should be lauded as a hero."

Crusch looked contemplative before allowing herself a small smile. "I think this alliance would be more beneficial to my Camp than yours, but I digress. I accept your terms, Emilia."

It took some time to iron out exactly what the alliance meant, but it came down to a few key points.

_One: No smear campaigns or sabotage of any kind against either Camp.  
Two: If requested and the resources are available, the Camps must help each other in their battles.  
Three: If one or both Camps is eliminated from the Royal Selection, they shall remain allies as a sign of good faith._

With their terms set, the contract was sealed. Subaru couldn't help but feel hopeful for the future. He knew more than anyone that having an ally like Crusch was no small boon.

Emilia, apparently, felt the same. "Thank you, Crusch," she said earnestly. "It will be an honor to stand by your side."

Felix spoke up with a playful grin. "Nyow, nyow, let's not get too excited. You may have just entered yourself into a life-or-death contract."

Crusch held up a hand but didn't look back. "So harsh, Felix," she said lightly. "No need to scare our honored guests."

"Bit too late, I suppose," muttered Beatrice.

"Ignoring my knight's attempt at humor, it would be nice to have your assistance, and…" Crusch's eyes shifted to Subaru for a moment, "…I'd hazard a guess that you're qualified."

' _Oh, fuck,'_ he grumbled. _'_ _She's gonna ask THAT._ _'_

Beatrice looked at him questioningly. _'_ _What, I wonder?_ _'_

Ignoring her question, he asked, _'_ _How long_ _until_ _you're back to a reasonable power level if we don't have access to the Forbidden Library? Assuming Emilia helps, of course._ _'_

She furrowed her eyebrows in thought. _'_ _Define reasonable, I suppose._ _'_

He paused for effect before telling her, _'_ _Enough to take down the White Whale._ _'_

' _Wait, what –_ _'_

"Your fight is against the Witch's Cult," Crusch elaborated, unaware of the conversation happening before her, "and we've set our eyes on a… related entity, you could say." From behind her, Wilhelm tensed but remained silent. "I am talking, of course, about the White Whale."

Beatrice's eyes widened as she gaped at Subaru. _'_ _How did you –_ _'_

' _Can't tell you,'_ he said flatly.

' _Gah, you're annoying, I suppose!'_

Emilia looked nervous. "That's, um, quite the undertaking," she noted with a shaking voice.

Crusch's eyes gleamed. "Indeed, which is why it's relieving that we have an expert on our side."

All eyes turned to Subaru who sighed. "Let me guess," he muttered. "'Tell me everything you know about the White Whale.'"

Crusch raised an eyebrow, saying, "In more polite terms, but yes."

"You'll listen, even if the fundamentals go against common knowledge?"

"So, you _do_ know something," she mused, leaning forward with interest.

He nodded. "Not enough to make things easier, but every piece of information helps, I guess." He placed his hand on his chin, trying to piece together the most relevant information. "Mana doesn't work against it, its mist can remove you from existence, it can split into three copies of itself, and its roar can break all but the most iron of wills. It was created four hundred years ago by Daphne, the Witch of Gluttony, in a failed attempt to end world hunger."

Okay, _maybe_ the last part wasn't critical, but he loved dropping truth bombs.

' _Good job, I suppose_ _,'_ Beatrice grouched. _'_ _You took away their ability to speak, in fact._ _'_

' _That was my intention,'_ he told her, a bit smug at everyone's shocked face.

She huffed. _'_ _Why don't you tell them that you used to make out with Satella while you're at it, I wonder?_ _'_

'… _Who taught you how to talk like that?_

"This is a joke, right?" Felix asked angrily. "Even children know that the mabeasts were created by the Witch of _Envy._ " He turned to Emilia with a scowl. "You should keep your dog on a tighter leash. He might spread more lies."

Emilia frowned. "He's not lying," she insisted. "He simply has access to more information than most people do."

Felix let out a mocking laugh. "What, does he curate a massive library of forbidden knowledge, or something like that?"

Emilia's eyes widened. "How did you know about the Forbidden Library?"

Felix rolled his eyes before realizing she was serious. "Wait, you're nyot kidding?" he asked incredulously. "What, is he some legendary scholar?"

"I prefer the term Sage," Subaru chimed in and promptly received a scowl from Crusch.

"That is a sacred title reserved for Lugunica's most revered hero," she said harshly. They may be allies, but Crusch's admiration of the Sage went far beyond any other loyalty. "While I applaud your accomplishments, I must ask that you refrain from calling yourself that."

Emilia let out a giggle before covering her mouth. Felix scowled at her, saying, "Your Camp's disregard to our legends and traditions nyotwithstanding, I'm curious as to why it's called the Forbidden Library."

Subaru gave a cheeky grin. "Now, now, it wouldn't be forbidden if I was allowed to tell you, now would it?" Felix looked disparagingly at him, and he relented. "Fine, fine. It's 'forbidden' because you need Beatrice's permission to access it, and she's picky about that kinda stuff." He looked fondly at the spirit who crossed her arms.

"Subaru only has access because I like him, I suppose."

Crusch looked thoughtful. "An archive of secrets viewed only on the whim of a great spirit," she mused as she eyed Subaru carefully. "I assume that's how you know about the White Whale's origins."

"It's a fair assumption," he said, narrowly falling under the radar of her Divine Protection. "All the mabeasts were created by Daphne. She was always hungry, so she tried making an alternative food source, but it backfired. They've caused untold harm to Lugunica, so I'm all for getting rid of them."

Emilia piped up, saying "I am, too. Where Subaru goes, I go."

From his corner of the room, Wilhelm smiled. "It almost seems like Sir Subaru is your leader, despite being your benefactor," he noted.

She smiled right back. "I wouldn't be here today if not for him."

After that, all they had left to do was plan.

Many hours later, Subaru collapsed onto his bed. "Nice of Crusch to let us stay here for a couple of days before we head to Reinhard's," he said idly. "I'm too tired to make it to an inn right now."

Beatrice sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him pitifully. "That's sad, I suppose. You did nothing all day, in fact."

Subaru cracked an eye open to glare half-heartedly at her. "Let me remind you that I'm still recovering," he grouched. "And hey, planning is hard. Don't you know how tiring it is to exercise the mind?"

"I read nonstop for four hundred years, I suppose," she informed him ever-so-helpfully. "Do you see me complaining, I wonder?"

He rolled his eyes. "You're not human. It doesn't count."

Emilia laid down beside him. "I don't know if it helps," she said with a yawn, "but I'm not human, and I'm reeaally tired."

Subaru froze. Was she in here this whole time?

She looked at him in concern. "Something wrong, Subaru?"

Was it just him, or was it getting hot in here? "Uh… Emilia-tan, you're, uh…"

' _Help?'_ he pleaded. Beatrice stifled a laugh and ignored him.

Emilia looked worried. "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

Subaru began to sweat. "N-not wrong, exactly, but… you're, uh…" he gulped. "In my bed."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "You were in _my_ bed earlier," she pointed out."

He blushed. "How can you say that so casually?! And that was in the daytime, mind you!"

Emilia's eyes widened and she waved her hands in front of her face. "N-no! You're misreading my intentions!" she said quickly. "I just want to sleep with you!"

"That sentence doesn't make things better!" he cried.

With an impatient, huff, she shot back, "Well, I'm not leaving you alone, remember?"

Subaru's opened his mouth to respond before closing it with an audible click. "Should've known there were no hidden meanings," he mumbled.

"There's no need to tease me," she scolded gently. "I'm worried about you, Subaru."

"I'm –"

"Besides, Beatrice is in here," she reminded him.

His eyes glistened in hope. "So, if I kick her out…" He cut himself off at the twin glares he received. With a sigh, he told Emilia, "Look, it's kind of you to worry, but I'm fine."

She bit her lip. "I don't know that for sure," she pointed out. "I need to be here to keep you safe."

He squashed down the butterflies in his stomach as he protested, "B-but the scandal of a Royal Selection Candidate sleeping in her knight's bed –"

"Our alliance with Crusch forbids smear campaigns," she reminded him, and he felt his resistance slowly withering away.

He gulped. "Even so –"

She narrowed her eyes. "Subaru Natsuki, if you make me leave this room, then the moment you fall asleep, I will come in anyway. You're not getting out of this."

For a moment, he was surprised by the vehemence in her voice. Then, he laughed at his own stupidity. "Oh, what the hell," he said lightly. "Not like I haven't dreamed about this for ages."

She looked relieved. "So, you'll let me stay?"

"Yeah, you can stay." He adopted a stern expression and wiggled a finger in her face. "But no funny business, missy! I'll tell Puck!"

She pouted. "I had absolutely no plans, you pervert."

With a mischievous grin, he asked, "Should I be relieved, or insulted?"

She rolled her eyes but wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Her warm breath sent shivers done his spine as he let himself relax. Not for the first time, and most certainly not the last, he asked himself what he did to deserve her.

"Just go to sleep, dummy," she mumbled fondly. Within a couple of minutes, her breathing evened out, and so did his. For the first time since he went back to zero, he slept without nightmares.

A few days of rest and recovery later, Subaru found himself in a carriage facing an embarrassed Emilia and an ashamed Beatrice as they left a _very_ amused Crusch.

Subaru was too relieved to care.

Beatrice crossed her arms. "Was it worth it, I wonder?" she asked in disappointment.

Subaru nodded vehemently. "Without a doubt."

Emilia covered her face in her hands. "S-Subaru, you won't… do something like that in the Royal Selection, will you?"

"Of course, I wouldn't," he assured her. "I've already had that character development."

"I don't know what that means," she said, peeking through her fingers with a half-hearted glare, "but I'd be reeaally embarrassed if you pulled a stunt like that, mister!"

"Come on, it wasn't _that_ bad," he defended. "All I did was –"

"Curl up and cry like an infant, I suppose," Beatrice said angrily.

He flinched at her glare. "They were trying to steal Patrasche from me!" he defended. That was a perfectly valid reason to throw a tantrum, wasn't it?

"No, _you_ stole the ground dragon from them, in fact!" she shot back.

"I told you," Subaru explained impatiently, "I found her!"

"In Crusch's stables, I wonder?" she asked with biting sarcasm.

"In the Sanctuary, where _you_ sent me!" At Beatrice's unimpressed look, he revealed, "Ella guided her there as a way to help me out."

Beatrice growled at her contractor's hopelessness. "That makes no sense, I suppose!" she snapped. "What, did she somehow possess Patrasche – _from across the world, in fact_ – guide her all the way from Crusch's estate to the Sanctuary, maintain possession of her for _days_ , lead her to you, and give up possession the moment you saw her?"

Subaru leaned back in his seat, satisfied. "I knew you'd understand," he said happily.

Beatrice gaped at his stupidity. "I was joking, I suppose!" she cried. "How would she know you were going to be at the Sanctuary, I wonder?"

Subaru waved a hand dismissively. "Ella's cool like that," he said flippantly.

They continued bickering until Rem interrupted them. "Subaru," she called from the front of the carriage. "Could you come here for a moment? I have a question."

"Got it, Rem-Rem," Subaru called back. Emilia's eyes followed him worriedly, and he sent her a reassuring smile. "I'm right here, Emilia-tan. Literally a few feet away. You can still see me." She didn't look happy but nodded, nonetheless.

' _I messed her up,'_ he realized with a pang in his chest.

Pushing that out of his mind, he plopped down beside Rem and asked, "What's up?"

Her tone was light, but her face was carefully blank. "I wanted your opinion on where we should stable Patrasche for the night."

"Ah, so you called in the expert. How can I help?"

She tapped her nose twice. "I remember you told me that ground dragons sleep best when they're around a certain smell," she said with a bit of emphasis on the last word. "Considering your attachment to Patrasche, I was wondering if you happened to know hers."

Subaru stiffened. "What makes you think her preference isn't my smell?" he asked lowly.

She stared straight ahead, telling him, "Her focus is solely on something in the carriage directly in front of us.

Subaru narrowed his eyes. "Stable her at Reinhard's for now," he ordered. "Something tells me that whatever is in that carriage will show up at the Royal Selection. I want you to determine exactly what it is that Patrasche likes."

Rem nodded, her icy-blue eyes fixated on her upcoming task. "Understood. Should we ask Miss Emilia for her advice, as well?"

He shook his head. "No. She has enough to worry about. Let her give her speech and then we'll get her opinion." Subaru gripped her shoulder as he earnestly said, "Thank you, Rem. Seriously. We couldn't do this without you."

Despite their situation, she smiled, and his heart skipped a beat. "Well, I'll always be here. After all, you're hopeless without your allies."

He grinned right back. "That I am, Rem," he admitted without a hint of shame. "That I am."

* * *

Reinhard stood before an army of hundreds, head high and stance firm. The Dragon Sword Reid could not be drawn and not a single alternative weapon could be found. Because of the Manastone Bracelet he wore and the numerous Circles of Binding surrounding him, he was unable to use his Divine Protections.

He had naught but his fists and his fury.

Without a sound, Reinhard leaped forward at speeds unimaginable, tearing a hole through the stomach of his first foe. He whirled around and kicked an approaching enemy in the temple, sending it flying into a dozen more.

He grabbed another enemy and thoughtlessly tossed it to his right. Miles away, a woman screamed as a soldier crashed through her window.

Another soldier approached from behind, so Reinhard spun around and punched it, causing the head to explode. Its innards splattered over him, but he was not deterred.

Less than ten seconds later, the army was defeated. Reinhard stood tall, as tired as he would be if he had merely scratched behind his ear.

All around him, the magic training dummies disappeared into nothingness. Reinhard moved to activate the training protocol again: after all, this was only his two hundred and seventy-second repetition today. He needed to be stronger if he were to ever face someone like _her_ again.

"Holy shit," a familiar voice exclaimed in awe.

Reinhard whipped around and, recognizing the voice's owner, smiled. "Good afternoon, Sir Subaru"

Subaru smiled back. "None of that "Sir" stuff," he said lightly. "I like to think we're friends, so Subaru works fine."

"I would be honored to call you my friend, Subaru," Reinhard said with the utmost sincerity. "You're a braver man than I could ever be."

It wasn't merely what he saw in Subaru's memories that led Reinhard to believe that. From what little he knew of the incident with Regulus Corneas, it wasn't difficult to discern that Subaru and Emilia were responsible. Reinhard was about to give his thanks when Subaru chuckle and said, "Your nice guy index is something else… Anyway, I'm sure you remember Emilia."

Reinhard turned his attention to the half-elf. "A pleasure to see you again, Lady Emilia," he greeted, making sure to use the proper title this time. "It brings me joy to know that you took my words to heart."

Emilia gave a kind smile. "Mhm. That I have, Sir Reinhard."

Reinhard's breath caught in his throat, but it was not because of Emilia's beauty. At that moment, he saw the monster from Subaru's memories. Cold hands wrapped around his neck and he couldn't breathe _couldn't breathe –_

He shook his head to clear it. This wasn't the Witch. Emilia was not lying when she told him that she had never been called 'Ella.' It was a potential nickname, sure, but it would make more sense for her to be dubbed 'Emma.'

But her eyes… that same mixture of kindness, love, and sorrow… There was a connection. There had to be.

"Hold on a moment," Subaru interrupted. "What did you tell her?"

Reinhard tore himself out of his musings. "Merely that you were a trustworthy individual. However, something tells me she already came to that conclusion."

Her smile was blinding, as if the Od Laguna itself was shining from her soul. "Mhm. Through thick and thin, Subaru and I have stuck together. I can't imagine a life without him," she said fondly.

Subaru couldn't meet her eyes. "Come on, EMT," he mumbled with a blush. "What happened to Miss 'Not in Public?'"

She cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her. "Considering everything that's happened," she told him softly, "I think it's important that you hear me say that as much as possible."

Reinhard cleared his throat and the two jumped apart. "While I loath to interrupt," he said uncomfortably, "I believe it is only proper that I be introduced to the rest of your group."

"Right, right, sorry," Subaru muttered sheepishly. He pointed to a blonde child with butterfly pupils. "This adorable girl is Beatrice, Keeper of Secrets Most Ancient, and a great spirit," he explained. She didn't bother reacting. "I'm proud to say that I'm her contractor."

Reinhard raised an eyebrow. "A Spirit Knight, and to a great spirit, no less. My friend, Julius, would love to meet you."

Subaru scowled and Reinhard backtracked, quickly saying, "Apologies, Subaru. Whatever I said, I did not mean to offend you."

Subaru waved him off. "Don't worry about it. That name merely reminds me of a time that I'm…" He struggled with his words before settling on, "…not proud of. I'd be happy to meet your friend."

The last sentence sounded extremely forced, but Reinhard let it pass. "I see. And the lovely young lady in the back?"

The blue-haired girl looked like the woman in the snow. Countless nightmares flashed before his mind, but he shoved them down.

She stepped forward. "My name is Rem," she said, introducing herself with a bow. "I am a maid in service to Lord Roswaal L. Mathers. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sir Reinhard."

Reinhard plastered a smile on his face. "The pleasure is all mine." He jerked his head in the direction of his home, saying, "Please, come with me. While I would love to introduce you to the Lady I serve, I am afraid that she is unavailable at the moment."

Subaru's eyes widened before he let out a breathy laugh. He muttered something that sounded like "the butterfly effect is bullshit."

"Hmm?"

Subaru waved him off. "Nothing," he said dismissively. "Lead the way, Reinhard."

It was a quick tour, considering the size of the house. Reinhard crammed their brains with hundreds of years of Astrea Family History, and they absorbed the information like sponges. Divine Protections were useful for many things, and teaching was one of them.

At the conclusion of the tour, Reinhard turned to Emilia, saying, "If I may be so bold, I'd like to request a conversation with your knight."

Emilia looked confused. "Um, weren't you already –"

"Alone."

She was hit with a spot of panic as if leaving her knight alone would mean she would never see him again. Reinhard briefly closed his eyes in sadness. "There is nothing to worry about," he assured her. "I will not let him out of my sight for a single moment, and I like to think I'm proficient at protecting people."

She didn't calm down, so the blonde spirit grabbed her hand. "My connection with him will monitor his state, in fact. If anything happens, we will be right there, I suppose."

Taking the spirit's words to heart, Emilia took a deep breath and looked warily at Reinhard. Her amethyst eyes pierced his soul, and he wouldn't dare look away. "I'm trusting you, Sir Reinhard," she said softly.

He dipped his head in respect. "I'm honored, Lady Emilia. You will not regret this."

A whispered word and a quick hug later, Subaru was left alone with Reinhard. "You know." It wasn't a question.

"More like I recognize that look," Reinhard clarified. "The panic will disappear in a couple of days, but she will always worry. It will be at the back of her mind for the rest of her life."

Overwhelming guilt came over Subaru's face. "You're saying I broke her," he said, self-loathing etched across his features.

Reinhard shook his head. "She is still the same person," he told Subaru. "I'm saying that she was faced with the immediate possibility of losing someone precious to her, and she will always be afraid of it happening again."

Subaru considered Reinhard for a moment. "You speak from experience," Subaru realized sadly.

Reinhard looked off into the distance, drowning in memories. "I was blamed for the death of my beloved grandmother," he confessed. "My grandfather refuses to talk to me. My father is an abusive drunk. My mother is comatose. I am viewed as an international security threat. I am a monster first and a knight second."

He smiled ruefully as he admitted, "As an adolescent, I didn't take that well."

He knew the Od Laguna would not let him die. That didn't make the thoughts and feelings any healthier.

Unsure of how to respond, Subaru patted Reinhard's arm. "I can't claim to be in the same situation, but it seems we both know what it feels like to wonder if things would be better off if you just… disappeared."

Reinhard fiddled with his coat in an attempt to ground himself. "Indeed," he murmured. "It took a dear friend to pull me out of the abyss, and he had the same look in his eyes whenever I was about to leave his sight. Now, because of his help, I was able to discover my reasons to live." He eyed Subaru carefully. "I believe you had a strong reaction to his name earlier."

Subaru gaped before shaking his head to clear it, saying, "I don't know why I'm surprised. That kind of helpfulness defines Julius."

"Alongside his honor, loyalty, and mercy," Reinhard added. He wasn't sure how Subaru was acquainted with Julius, but from what little he knew of Subaru, he figured that questioning him would be pointless. "I feel like you would get along if you put aside your differences."

Subaru tensed, but he forced the words out. "I'm sure we would." Despite the angry tone, his eyes were genuine. Perhaps they would be good friends.

They stood in companionable silence for a moment before Subaru broke it. "You saw my memories."

"I did," Reinhard affirmed.

"I'm surprised _she_ let you," Subaru told him, a bit of wonder in his tone. "I would have thought that you'd… I don't know, not die, because you're Reinhard, but at least –"

"The Witch of Envy almost killed me, yes." Reinhard's response was flippant, but it belied countless nightmares. "However, I seemed to have received some… permission… at the end of our encounter." He cast a sideways glance at Subaru, saying, "Perhaps it's just me, but it was as if I were confronting two separate people."

Subaru grimaced. "Yeah, pretty much. I know it's not in any history books, but the Witch Factor gave Satella an alternate personality. That's the one that doesn't let me talk about Re–"

Suddenly, he doubled over and clutched his heart, an expression of sheer terror on his face.

Reinhard grabbed Subaru by the shoulder with a steadying hand, asking, "Are you all right?"

Subaru took a deep, shuddering breath before standing a bit straighter. "I'm fine," he said weakly. "Just glad I didn't get my hopes up."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Reinhard confessed. "What just happened?"

Subaru chuckled, but there was no humor to it. "Let's just say you weren't given as much permission as you thought."

Reinhard's face fell a bit. "I see," he muttered sadly. "So, you have suffered even more. After what I saw in the frozen wasteland…"

Subaru narrowed his eyes. "What exactly did you see? Were there any–" He shivered and stopped himself as if he remembered that he wasn't supposed to say anything. Reinhard couldn't help but wonder if the same power that almost ended his life was now threatening Subaru.

Getting himself back on track, he told Subaru, "Aside from my encounter with the Jealous Witch, I saw three events from your past life. The time she saved you in an alleyway, your proposal to her – my apologies for seeing such a sensitive moment – and your death in a frozen wasteland."

"Wait, but two of those were –" Subaru shook his head to clear it. "A-anyway… must be weird to know that the Sage was… well, me."

Reinhard gasped. Surely, he didn't hear that right. "You're… what?" he breathed.

Subaru, no, _the_ _Sage_ rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, yeah, you probably didn't see any of that stuff," he said sheepishly. "Well, that's me: the biggest fuck-up in four hundred years."

Reinhard's hands shook as the words barely registered. "You're… the Sage? The man who saved Lugunica? The only man Reid Astrea respected as stronger than him? A being so powerful, even Volcanica bowed to his strength?"

The Sage blushed. "Th-that's, um –"

Reinhard placed a hand over his heart and bowed. His voice was thick with reverence and admiration. "This is a knight's – no, _everyone's_ greatest dream. It is an honor to meet you, Shaula."

Reinhard's mind was racing. He was friends with the Sage. The Sage was in front of him. He could die happy, for he met the greatest hero to have ever walked the land.

The Sage was quiet. Did he not receive the Sage's approval? Was he not good enough? He glanced up to find the Sage… crying? A stricken look fell upon Reinhard's face. "My humblest of apologies," he said quickly. "I did not mean to offend you."

The Sage gave a choked laugh. "If you're sorry, then stop acting so… subservient," he mumbled. "It's just me."

Reinhard stood straight and tried to adopt a casual expression, failing miserably. Sweat rolled across his forehead from the exertion. "Why, yes, of course, Great Sage," he muttered before clearing his throat. "I mean, erm, Shaula."

That same look, like Reinhard had physically struck him. "Stop," the Sage whispered brokenly. "Stop using that name. I'm not… her."

Reinhard tilted his head, befuddled. "But… you're the Sage," he pointed out before berating himself. The man _clearly_ knew who he was.

The Sage swallowed, like the words in his throat were physically paining him. "I was, but… Sh-Shaula… she was my apprentice. I made it so that all of my achievements were in her name." His face twisted as fresh tears ran down his cheeks. Loudly, he cried out, "She was so important to me, and I left her there! I did what Echidna did to Beatrice! And for what? An ambiguous instruction to wait?! She's alone, all alone because of me! Th-then, at the end, she probably… she might have been the one to… to find my…"

He stumbled slightly, as if his emotions held a weight of their own. "I miss her so much!" he whimpered. "I want to see her, give her a hug, apologize, anything, but I can't! She's past that desert, and I can't cross it without M-Meili! _It's my fault! She's all alone because of me, and I almost gave up my chance to save her!"_

At that moment, Reinhard realized something that shattered his worldview: the Sage was not a great hero, but a man. A broken, guilt-ridden mess of a man who wanted nothing more than to have his loved ones back.

From his journey to repair Subaru's Od, Reinhard had learned that Satella was a good person, but had a split personality, presumably the Witch of Envy. For the Sword Saint to be so easily defeated, and to be saved by one whose name was taboo… It shook him to the core.

Three months ago, he would have proudly declared that some things in life were certain. The Sage was a valiant hero named Shaula. Reid Astrea was a gallant, chivalrous hero. Volcanica was a gracious, generous being, who offered his strength but would not fight. Satella was a being of pure evil, incapable of human speech or love. The entire continent knew these to be irrevocable truths.

Now, he didn't know what to believe. Everything had changed, except for two things.

One, his devotion to his Lady. He would do everything in his power to make her queen. Two, that the man in front of him was a good, albeit sad person trying to atone for unknown sins. These were not legends, passed down through the centuries. These were facts that he had seen with his own two eyes.

Subaru. Satella. Shaula. They were a family, torn asunder by mysterious circumstances. Reinhard vowed then and there to reunite them.

He grabbed a nearby ceremonial sword from its fixture on the wall. Then, he kneeled before Subaru, holding the flat of the blade in the palms of his hands.

Subaru's tears slowed to a mere trickle as his sadness was replaced by shock. "Wh-what are you doing?" he croaked, his throat raw from emotion.

"Please, indulge me," Reinhard said formally. "I have wanted to do this since I saw you in the wasteland. Your recent revelation has only strengthened my resolve." He lifted the blade so that it rested above his head.

"You are a stronger man than I, Sir Subaru Natsuki. For your defeat of the Sin Archbishops of Lust and Greed, for your actions in your past life, and for suffering as you have but standing proud today, you have my unwavering respect. The fact that you are the Sage only adds to my loyalty. While I cannot pledge my fealty, I would like to offer my assistance in any matter you desire. As long as your interests do not conflict with my Lady's, I will be at your beck and call. I, Sir Reinhard van Astrea, swear this on my honor as the Sword Saint."

Reinhard held his position, awaiting Subaru's response. Then, suddenly, Subaru broke out into hysterics.

Reinhard was taken aback. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't the tiniest bit hurt. "My apologies, but I don't see what's so funny."

Subaru gasped out a breath before doubling over again. "It's not you, it's just… my life is _ridiculous_!" he exclaimed. "I mean, seriously! Reincarnation, a love triangle between two girls who shouldn't even _be_ two girls, and now _Reinhard van Astrea_ is bowing to one of the weakest people in Lugunica!" Subaru grinned, albeit it wasn't indicative of happiness so much as instability. "I'm the _Lolimancer,_ for fuck's sake! There's no _way_ things can get any weirder!" He stopped short as abject horror overtook his features. "Oh, fuck, I just set a bunch of flags, didn't I? Knowing my luck, I just invited Pandora over for some tea."

Reinhard stood up, shaking his head to clear it. "You are a troubled man, Subaru. I would love to help you through it all, but I doubt I would be allowed to hear more than what you have told me."

"Not unless you like your heart being squeezed by a yandere Witch," Subaru muttered. He took a deep breath to calm himself before earnestly saying, "I'm glad to have you on my side, Reinhard."

"Of course," Reinhard said solemnly. "I would like to make something clear, however."

Subaru's face fell. "There's always a catch," he muttered, "isn't there?"

Reinhard didn't like to think of it that way, but he supposed it was true. "The way I understand it," he said slowly, gathering his thoughts, "the Witch of Envy is not Satella's original self, correct?"

Subaru nodded. "Satella was the gentlest person I've ever met," he said without a hint of deception. Had Reinhard not seen it himself, he might have sent Subaru to a healer for insanity.

For confirmation, Reinhard asked, "Do you intend to free her while eliminating the Witch of Envy?"

Subaru's eyes met Reinhard's resolutely. "I do. Do you intend to stop me?"

Reinhard shook his head. "No. However, if you fail, and the Witch of Envy remains the dominant personality…" His eyes hardened. "Well, you'll see why I'm known as a monster."

To his surprise, the younger knight only grinned. "Oh, that's it? Phew, I thought it would be something bad."

Reinhard scratched his cheek, saying, "I'll admit, I was expecting you to be a bit more intimidated."

"Well, that's only if I fail, right?" Subaru gave a thumbs-up and flashed a cocky grin. "I promised to save her, and that's the type of promise I'll _never_ break."

A pause. Then, Reinhard smiled wider than he had all day, saying, "It seems I put my faith in the right person."

"Heh, glad you feel that way. So, you'll help me with anything, right?" At Reinhard's nod, Subaru leered and asked, "Aaaanything?"

Reinhard took a step back, warily saying, "I… may have left my offer too open."

Subaru dropped his façade and laughed. "Nothing like _that_ ," he said reassuringly. "I just wanted your help with a few fights, like against the White Whale. After all, I don't exactly have the same skillset as I used to."

Reinhard blinked. "That's… a more reasonable request." He'd have to ask Captain Marcus if he could leave the Royal Capital, but if he explained who he was helping, he was sure to get permission.

"Thought so," Subaru said with a smile. "I'll go check in with Emilia-tan; she's probably worried sick. Thanks again for letting us stay, Reinhard."

Of course, they would be allowed to stay. After all, they were friends.

But soon, they would be rivals in the Royal Selection.


	19. The Royal Selection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got some valid feedback about Subaru considering kicking Crusch out of the Royal Selection. I edited it so that he shakes off the idea and that he wasn't in a stable emotional state. After all, this was immediately after the events of Chapter 17; he was at rock bottom about ten minutes prior, and it takes time to crawl out.
> 
> Friendly reminder that this is fanfiction and backstories/details/timeline of events will be messed with.
> 
> Special thanks to my fiancé for editing this fic. I'd vote for you to become queen.

_It had been years since Satella and Subaru were dubbed the Sorceress and the Sage. Their titles were known far and wide, and they most certainly held weight._

_They still worked as traveling healers (though it was more of a generic miracle worker if Subaru was being frank), but they often spent time at either Echidna's old mansion or the Pleiades Watchtower._

_The Tower was his pride and joy. His greatest achievement. Within it, he created a direct connection to the Od Laguna; a feat thought to be impossible._

_Now, he was the only person to have ever communed with the Original Spirit. Apparently, it was not merely the heart of this world, but_ all _worlds. Without a doubt, this was the being that brought him here._

_Perhaps this is what people referred to when they spoke of "God." Needless to say, the researcher in him was both baffled and ecstatic to talk to such an entity._

_And that was how he discovered how truly loathed he was._

_The Od Laguna did not love and hate like a human. It merely granted certain souls an aptitude towards Divine Protections, but no matter what, all were bound to its laws._

_The exception was Satella. Her gate was one with the world. She had no Divine Protections, for she was above such petty things. If she willed it, it would happen. Such was the Od Laguna's love for her._

_Subaru wanted to find out why. Why was Satella exempt? Why was she so loved? Was it like the stories of the robot discovering emotion? Were her eyes so beautiful, that it enchanted the heart of the world?_

_When asked these questions, the Od Laguna gave the equivalent of a shrug. It was truly random, like the roll of a die._

_Subaru, on the other hand, was loathed by the world. However, his body was created by Satella, who was loved by the world. So, the Od Laguna kind of just… dealt with him._

_That was fine. It still gladly "talked" with him, and he presided over the realm like always. It may not be sapient in the traditional sense, but it almost seemed to… enjoy their time spent together. It even acknowledged Subaru as its master. After all, it did not hate as a human would. It merely provided an aptitude towards the antithesis of Divine Protections, known as Authorities._

_He left the Corridor of Memories as he ruminated on the nature of Authorities. They were tremendous powers granted by the Witch Factors, but where did said Witch Factors come from? Did they spring into existence alongside the Od Laguna? He hated to say it, but he may never know._

_But those Witch Factors… they were indeed strange. He had never seen one, mind you, but he knew of the Witches that possessed them. He despised one of them, and he was familiar with many others, though he would admit to having a favorite._

" _Flu-Flu!"_

_Speak of the devil… or, rather, the Witch._

_Standing in the center of the massive Taygata Library was Daphne, the Witch of Gluttony, wearing an innocent smile that hid a horrifying power. Her Centipede Coffin, and the restraints it bore, was nowhere to be found._

" _Hey, Daph," he said casually. "I didn't know you would be stopping by."_

_She tilted her head to the side. "Why do you need to know?"_

_They had been over this dozens of times. "You need me to accompany you. If you went out during Sand Time without protection, you could get seriously hurt or die. It's dangerous and –" He stopped himself, realizing that her attention was already elsewhere. "Hey, no eating the table!" he snapped._

" _But I'm so hungry!" she whined._

_He crossed his arms and glared at her as he pointed out, "That's why you have your mabeasts_ _."_

" _They're not as filling as your tables," she grumbled. "Flu-Flu is so mean…"_

_He sighed upon seeing the look on her face. "All right," he conceded. "One table."_

_She gave a fanged grin and promptly devoured the entire table in a couple of bites. He sighed at his weakness; he always had a soft spot for lolis, even if they were eldritch abominations._

_She rubbed her belly and groaned. "I'm still hungry…"_

" _That table was bigger than you!" he cried. "How does it even fit?!"_

_She ignored his question and walked over to him. "Hug me," she demanded._

_Subaru, the pathetic weakling that he was, didn't even protest._

_Daphne's mere presence caused an unbearable hunger. If one looked her in the eyes or touched her, they would eat themselves alive._

_The title of Witch fit her well._

_But… she was a child. She was nine when she received her Witch Factor and was now eleven. She was starved for affection. Her mother would not hug her, for she was driven insane with hunger. Her father would not touch her, for he had long ago eaten himself to death._

_There was only Subaru, who was loathed by the world and whose body was made of magic, and as such, was unaffected by her Authority._

_He wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her face in the crook of his neck, humming a little tune as she did so. It followed no rhythm, no rhyme or reason, and its harsh tones sent a shiver down his spine. Even so, he didn't mind, for he cared for her as his own._

_Subaru had no children, even though he desperately wanted them. After all, it was infeasible to raise a child while Satella was sick._

_...That was an excuse, wasn't it? The truth was that he was a coward, afraid of revealing himself to anyone, even his own wife. His scars burned with every passing second. He was one of the two greatest healers to have ever lived, but Echidna's flames were cursed. Her magic could not be undone so easily._

_Suddenly, his shoulder felt wet, dragging him out of his thoughts. He pulled back, shocked. Daphne's golden eyes, unblemished by a blindfold, were tearing up._

" _What's wrong?" he asked in a panic. "Did I hurt you?" He began to pat her down, feeling for any bumps or bruises._

_She shook her head as her eyes widened. "I feel… full," she said in disbelief. "I'm not hungry! I'm not –"_

_Subaru's anxiety fled as he laughed joyously. "I didn't know that was possible!" he exclaimed. "Are you saying my hugs are greater nourishment than my tables?"_

_She gave a fanged grin. "Your hugs are the best, Flu-Flu!" she chirped. "Let's celebrate!"_

" _What, with more hugs?" he asked cheekily._

_Overwhelmed by her newfound satiation, she excitedly said, "No, with a mabeast!"_

_Subaru stiffened. "Uh,_ _Daph?" he began slowly. "That's, um, not a good idea."_

_She looked at him, confounded. "Why?"_

'Because they're literal nightmares,' _he wanted to say, but wouldn't._

_Instead, he gave a shaky smile. "Just… not in the mood."_

_She tapped a finger to her chin in thought. "What if we both made it?" she suggested._

_He considered her carefully. If he could temper her Gluttony with his own will, perhaps they could make something… somewhat normal. It wasn't like he didn't have the power. He had come a long way from the boy who cowered before Echidna. Now, the world revered the might of the Sage._

_Perhaps a mabeast would be fun to make. He nodded slowly and she cheered._

_At the base of the Watchtower, surrounded by a sea of sand, Sage and Witch danced an unholy dance. His body, made of the same magic that flowed through him, clashed with her will as they battled for dominance. Their souls sang as the heart of the world trembled in fear, for the fourth great mabeast was about to come into existence._

_Perhaps it was understandable why the Od Laguna loathed him._

_From the sand, her body. From the cacti, her limbs. From the atmosphere, her lungs. From the sun, her heart._

_From Daphne and Subaru, her soul._

_In Subaru's arms, he held a small brown and orange bundle: one he never thought he would hold. A child, a baby, of unbelievable strength and will. A soul filled with the single-minded love of the Sage and the exuberance of the Witch of Gluttony._

_Chestnut-brown hair, to enchant_ _all_ _with their gaze. Dark green eyes like the forests of his homeland. A face of purity and joy, stunning all who looked. The tail of a scorpion, hidden to all. Indomitable power, to be unlocked with time._

_She would be loved, and as she experienced that love, she would grow into a fine woman._

_As Subaru looked down at the sleeping child, he knew he would never let her go. Forget about the Tower:_ she _was his greatest achievement._

_Like a father with his newborn daughter, the Sage fell in love. With awe in his voice, he whispered:_

" _Without a doubt, you are one of the brightest stars I've ever seen. Your name shall be… Shaula."_

* * *

The idyllic days spent at Astrea Chateau were coming to an end. Subaru would miss the wonderful shades of ruby that lined the walls and the sunlight streaming through the windows. Roswaal's mansion was just as lovely, sure, but it also had Roswaal. It went without saying that Subaru preferred Reinhard's company.

A ray of light caught on a button as Subaru straightened out his knight's uniform. He needed to make sure he looked presentable for the Royal Selection, but it was difficult to tell when the mirrors were all covered. So, he stood before Beatrice and held his arms out, asking, "Is it on right?"

She put a hand on her chin and eyed him critically, "Almost, I suppose," she muttered. She walked around him, straightening out parts of his knight's uniform. With her hands on her hips and a satisfied nod, she said, "All done, in fact."

He ruffled her hair. "Thanks, Beako."

She narrowed her eyes, dissatisfied with his response. "What, that's it, I wonder?" she asked grumpily. "Praise Betty more, I suppose."

He grinned mischievously. "You asked for it." Lifting her up by the waist and twirling her around, he exclaimed, "Beako is the best! Woo! Yeah!"

" _Gah! Too much praise, I suppose!"_ she shouted, flailing her arms about.

He laughed and set her on the bed, patting her head as he did so. She crossed her arms and tried to look frustrated but failed miserably.

A voice like a silver bell cut through the moment. "You two are sooo weird, you know that?"

Emilia stood in the doorway, a soft smile on her face. Subaru gave a dramatic gasp and attempted to hide behind Beatrice. "I'm doomed, Beako!" he cried. "My waifu can't know I have a side chick!"

Beatrice turned around and gave him a withering glare. "Which one is which, I wonder?" she asked dangerously.

Subaru gave a cheeky grin as he happily informed her, "The waifu is Patrasche and the side chick is Reinhard."

Emilia rolled her eyes. "You're such a knucklehead, Subaru," she said fondly.

Coming out of his (admittedly terrible) hiding spot, he said, "Heh, I haven't heard that one since elementary school."

Smiling at the familiar banter, she said, "I'm sorry, but I don't know what that is."

Beatrice huffed. "Is this your attempt at flirting, I wonder?" she asked, annoyed. "You two are terrible at it, I suppose."

"Pfft, you haven't seen anything yet." Subaru leered at Emilia and placed a hand on his chest. With great passion, he told her, "Oh, my darling Emilia-tan, your skin shines in the moonlight! Your eyes are an infinite pool of lavender, entrapping me with your gaze!"

Emilia grinned coyly and played along. "Oh, my precious Subaru," she cooed, "how I long to be in your arms! My dear knight, my chosen hero, I love you sooo much!"

Beatrice covered her ears as her face twisted in disgust. "Ew, ew, ew, ew!" she shrieked. "You two are sickening, I suppose!"

Subaru waved a hand at her dismissively but didn't take his eyes off Emilia. "Hush, Beako. Mommy and Daddy are talking."

Emilia covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her giggles. "Why don't you go play with Puck?" she recommended. Her eyes lidded as she gazed at Subaru with desire. "Your contractor and I need some… alone time."

Beatrice's eyes widened with fear, and a moment later, she disappeared. Subaru and Emilia held their positions for another second before dissolving into hysterics.

He wiped his eyes as they wound down. "She really is just a kid, isn't she?"

Emilia's eyes danced with mirth. "Mhm. You know, you're reeaally good with children, Subaru." For an instant, an image of herself, Subaru, Beatrice, and another child flashed through her mind, but she squashed it down. That was too much to hope for. Plastering a smile on her face, she said, "The kids in Arlam Village idolize you."

He gave her a strange look, and her heart pounded. He wasn't thinking of the same thing, was he?

Could she really hope… for a family of her own?

Once again, that wondrous image popped up, except… it wasn't the same image. She was wearing a black dress that covered everything. The man had Subaru's eyes, but he looked different.

He was not with Emilia, but the one he was supposed to be with all along. Her other half. The one she was replacing.

' _You're not a replacement,'_ she berated herself. Subaru had proved that to her time and again. But that image… Itwouldn't leave her head.

She clenched her fists. _'It's not fair,'_ she seethed, her mind aflame with sadness and longing for a future that could never be. _'That's supposed to be me. That_ is _me. Was me? Could have been me?'_

She resisted the urge to grab her head in frustration. _'We shouldn't even_ be _two separate people,'_ she mourned. Not for the first time, Emilia cursed Echidna for creating this horrific, confusing situation.

Her soul – mangled as it was – and Subaru's were bound together. They should have been happily living out their days together, but one person's greed took that away.

' _I wish I could fix it.'_ It was not the first time she thought such a thing, and it most certainly wouldn't be the last. However, even if she could find a method of merging that wasn't "The Ordeal," there was one thing she wasn't sure she could give up: her individuality.

" _I am Emilia,"_ she would say upon introducing herself. _"Only Emilia."_

Then again, she introduced herself as "Satella" to Subaru. Was that a sign of her fate? If she was part of Satella's soul, did she even have individuality? Was she truly her own person? Perhaps she –

Subaru broke through her thoughts and muttered, "I'm not sure what to say. The little ankle-biters love messing with me." He looked out the window as if he could see all the way to Arlam. "That reminds me… do you think Regulus's wives are doing all right?"

"I believe they're fine," she assured him, pushing away her morbid thoughts. She could pity her convoluted love life later. "You gave them an excellent situation. You must have put a lot of thought into it."

"Let's just say that I don't like leaving people homeless," he said distantly. "That reminds me… I'd love to hear more about _your_ home."

Her mouth dried up. "My… home?" she asked hesitantly as she gently rubbed her arm in nervousness. "I'm not sure what to say. It was a forest and we built our home out of trees."

Subaru chuckled. "A fantasy world indeed," he murmured. Speaking normally, he clarified, "I was actually wondering about the people more than the place itself." He smiled softly as he lost himself in memories. "Take it from a wanderer: a home is the people you make it with."

She smiled back. "I suppose it is." She thought for a moment as she considered two of the people most important to her. "I'd love to tell you about Fortuna, but there's not much to say about Juice," she admitted. "After all, you know him better than me."

He shook his head. "I know Guese the student," he pointed out. "I don't know Guese the dad."

She shuddered. "Don't remind me," she grumbled, still a bit creeped out by the thought. "I still don't know if you're eighteen, thirty, or over four hundred."

"You're just as bad," he shot back. "Are you fifteen, nineteen, or over a hundred?"

"Still not as old as you," she teased. "Need a cane for the Royal Selection?"

He smirked. "Not a chance, grandma."

"I'm not a grandma," she whined. "And hey, in your homeland, you're too young to drink."

"And you're a loli," he responded, a bit too excited for her liking.

With mock pride, she declared, "Only the best for the Lolimancer."

"I resemble that remark," he said cheekily. At her giggle, he pointed out, "I still win in the weird department. I mean, your dad calls me 'Master.'"

They paused for a moment before they broke down laughing. She gave a wry grin. "Our situation is weird," she conceded, "but we make do with what we have." Her eyes lost their focus. "Anyway, about Juice… we can talk about him and Mother Fortuna when we have more time. I'd like to hear about your home, too."

He hummed but ignored the last part. "I guess we do need to head out. Speaking of that…" He spread his arms wide, displaying his knight's uniform. "How do I look? Cool? Heroic? Knightly?"

She slowly looked him up and down. "You look handsome," she decided. She frowned at his stricken look. "Did I say something wrong?"

"It's nothing," he muttered, looking away. "I guess I expected a joke or something."

She considered him carefully before realization settled in. "Subaru," she whispered with a hint of pity, "when was the last time someone complimented your appearance?"

His silence spoke volumes.

"B-but what about your old life? Didn't she ever…"

He kept avoiding her eyes as he admitted, "She tried a few times. I kinda freaked out and changed the subject." He scratched at his arm through his sleeve. Emilia didn't know what it meant, but he did it a lot and it was beginning to concern her. "Neither of us were good at hearing that kind of stuff. She'd cry and say she's ugly, and I'd make a stupid pose before leaving the room. Neither of us were comfortable in our own skin."

After all, their scars were more than physical.

"That's why you hate the mirror," Emilia said quietly. They really were similar, weren't they?

They were silent for a moment, then –

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

He looked at her, surprised. "Huh? For what?"

She wrung her hands together. "Every single day, you tell me I'm beautiful," she said anxiously, "but not once have I said you're handsome."

He rubbed his neck nervously. "I mean, why would you? You're not a liar."

He probably intended that to be reassuring, but if anything, it upset her more. "But it's _not_ a lie," she insisted. "You _are_ handsome. I just haven't said it."

Her eyes lit up as she got an idea. "I know! Every time you call me beautiful, I get to call you handsome." She nodded to herself, satisfied with her solution. "After all, it's sooo selfish that I take your compliments and don't say anything back. Puck taught me better than that."

Subaru stared at her for a moment before chuckling. "Never change, Emilia-tan." He interlaced his fingers with hers. "You ready for today?"

"Mhm. Ready as I'll ever be." She smiled at him. "I'm glad you'll be by my side."

He laughed, much to her confusion. "Oh, man… The me from a couple of years ago would have _loved_ to hear that."

She cocked her head to the side. "Um… we haven't known each other for that long," she pointed out. He gave a cheeky grin but didn't respond. With a pout, she realized, "You're teasing me again."

He gasped as he clutched his chest. "Moi? Tease my darling Emma? Never!"

She blinked. "Emma?" she asked as if tasting the unfamiliar sounds. "Is that another nickname?"

"Maybe," he said, dragging out the word. "Is that a problem?"

She shook her head. "I like it much better than your last nickname," she admitted. "I wasn't a fan of 'my sexy half-elf waifu.'"

He grinned playfully. "If the shoe fits," he sang.

She rolled her eyes before frowning. "'Emma' sounds kind of like 'Ella,'" she noted, carefully gauging his reaction.

' _You're not a replacement,'_ she repeated like a mantra. Those were his words, and she clung to them like a lifeline.

He was quiet for a moment before he gave a genuine smile. "How fitting," he mused. "Emma and Ella. Two halves of the same whole, but wonderful in their own ways."

She took a deep breath as she smiled. She was being silly, wasn't she? This was Subaru: a man who wore his heart on his sleeve. There were no ulterior motives, no deception. He loved her for who she was, not her soul.

Emma. It was… nice.

It didn't make her any less angry at Echidna, but she could let that go for the moment. Emilia and Subaru were simply making the best of a bad situation.

He wrapped his arms around her as the world around them disappeared. "I love you, Emilia," he murmured. "Thanks for sticking around a mess like me."

"Always," she whispered back. "Through everything, I'll be by your side."

" _You're not a replacement,"_ he had assured her before listing off everything that made her unique. _"Don't you see? These are the things that make you who you are. That's not because of her soul, but_ you _. I'm in love with you, and that's_ because _it's you. I love you because you're_ Emilia _."_

She was Emilia, only Emilia. That's why he loved her, and it made her feel warm.

That realization… It truly was a memory worth living for.

She held him for a while before becoming cognizant of the time. Reluctantly, she broke the silence to say, "We could sit here all day and dilly-dally –"

"Who even says that in this day and age?" he muttered affectionately.

"– or we could get there early. I prefer the latter if that's okay."

He put a hand on his chin and pretended to think. "Hmm… Stuffy politics… or alone time with EMT… Tough choice."

She laughed and pulled him up. With twinkling eyes, she told him, "Come on, my knight. The Royal Selection is about to begin."

Considering how close they were to the castle, they could have walked, but Subaru insisted it was more proper if they arrive in a carriage. He went to grab Beatrice as Emilia went outside. At the front gates, Rem stood at Patrasche's side and gave a slight bow.

"Good morning, Miss Emilia," Rem greeted. Her voice was not cold, but it was certainly tense. "I trust that Subaru will be arriving shortly?"

"Mhm, he'll be along in a minute," Emilia responded, a bit wary. "Did I, um, do something wrong?"

Rem's eyes softened slightly. "My apologies, Miss Emilia. I had something on my mind and let it show on my face. It will not happen again."

Emilia frowned. "None of that," she scolded lightly. "If you're upset, let me help. We're friends, aren't we?"

The maid plastered a smile on her face, but Emilia wasn't fooled. "It's nothing of consequence," Rem said unconvincingly. "Please, focus on the Royal Selection, and I will tell you after."

"Okay, but I'm here for you," she said emphatically. "Remember that I'm not Miss Emilia. I'm only Emilia. You can talk to me if you want."

Rem's smile shifted to something more genuine. "Thank you, Emilia. That means a lot to me." Emilia, satisfied with that answer, stepped into the carriage, where she was joined by Subaru and Beatrice a minute later.

He plopped down beside Emilia and said, "All right, time to get into Knight Mode."

Unfamiliar with the term, she asked, "What's 'Knight Mode?'"

"It's something I made up just now," he said as if that was something knights were supposed to do. He set Beatrice down on his lap before continuing. "It means I'll be all formal and stuff."

Emilia raised an eyebrow at him. "I didn't know that was possible," she teased.

"Shush, you," he grumbled. "Don't you remember when I showed you a knight's etiquette?"

She nodded as pink dusted her cheeks. "Mhm. I think that's when I first realized I liked you."

He gaped. "Seriously? This whole time, I could have just done that?" He looked away, mumbling to himself. "Wait, I said that last time, so does that mean –"

"Subaru, what are you talking about?" she asked, a bit worried. He often talked about events that never happened, though they were often much more morbid than this conversation. She couldn't help but wonder what he really meant when he said he couldn't tell her something.

He shook his head to clear it. "N-nothing," he said quickly. "Just happy a beautiful girl likes me."

Pushing her thoughts away, she smiled and said, "And I'm happy to have a handsome knight."

He looked uncomfortable, but at least he wasn't upset this time. "Th-that's –"

"Betty is still here, I suppose."

Emilia jumped a bit in her seat. "S-sorry, Beatrice," she mumbled with a wince. "I guess I'm just so used to you being around Subaru."

Beatrice glared. "So, you forgot Betty was here?" With a huff, she grumbled, "Betty will make her presence known more often, I suppose. Perhaps you'll stop your shameless flirting, in fact."

Subaru laughed and she turned her ire upon him, asking with a hint of danger, "What's so funny, I wonder?"

He twirled a lock of blonde hair around his finger. "You're cute."

She blushed and stuttered out, "That's not something to laugh at, in fact!"

"It is when you're a tsundere loli," he rebutted.

On the verge of a tantrum, she cried out, _"I hate those words, and I don't even know what they mean, I suppose!"_

Laughter filled the carriage for the remainder of the ride.

When they arrived in front of the castle's gates, Subaru's entire demeanor shifted. His back was straight, and his face was carefully blank. Beatrice hopped off his lap and stood by his side, matching his posture and expressions perfectly.

It was clear they had practiced this.

Bowing and offering his hand to Emilia, she daintily accepted his help getting out of the carriage. "Thank you, Subaru."

With a regal tone, he declared, "It is an honor to serve, Lady Emilia."

She raised her eyebrows. Knight Mode was indeed quite… knightly. "Um… you don't need to call me that, you know. I'm still only Emilia."

Subaru grimaced as if she suggested something unthinkable. "Nonsense, Lady Emilia," he said with dawning horror. "You are the future queen of Lugunica, and I am merely your knight."

She gave a coy smile. "Merely my knight, huh? Nothing more?" She leaned in and whispered something in his ear, causing him to turn beet-red.

"N-not fair, Emma…" he said quietly. "I'm trying to be serious…"

She grinned victoriously. "I just wanted to make sure my Subaru was still in there. But, uh, can you keep acting like that? It's cute." She paused, noticing the look on his face. "I mean, it's charming and knightly."

Subaru schooled his expression, but his eyes smiled. "I aim to please, Lady Emilia." He looked somewhere past her and tensed up slightly.

"Um, is everything –" She was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. She turned to find a tall man, perhaps a few years older than her, with purple hair and a knight's uniform.

"My apologies for interrupting," he said with an air of importance. Judging by the emblems on his lapel, he was one of the highest-ranking members of the Royal Guard. This was a man who was _born_ to be a knight. "You are Lady Emilia, are you not? My friend, Sir Reinhard, told me about you."

She smiled slightly. "All good things, I hope," she said lightly. "I'm surprised you recognized me with my hood up. Um, what's your – o-oh…"

He kneeled before her, took her hand, and gently kissed her fingers. "It is an honor to meet you," he said reverently. "My name is Julius Juukulius, and I am the appointed knight of Lady Anastasia Hoshin. On behalf of my Lady, I would like to thank you for your victory over the Sin Archbishops of Lust and Greed."

He looked up, sincerity and gratitude shining in his eyes. "The Witch Cult has caused Kararagi much grief over the course of many centuries, and a blow of this magnitude will not be taken lightly. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you."

Emilia couldn't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. "Y-you're kind, truly, but, um… I didn't –"

Subaru stepped to her side. "Please forgive my Lady," he interrupted. "Considering her heritage, it is a new phenomenon to be complimented."

Julius eyed him disdainfully, asking, "And who might you be?"

Subaru held out his hand for Julius to shake, saying, "I am Subaru Natsuki, Emilia's one and only knight. Reinhard mentioned you as well. It's a pleasure to meet another spirit knight."

Julius rose but did not take Subaru's hand. "You claim to be a knight, but I am not familiar with your name." He put a hand to his chin in thought, not bothering to look at Subaru. "Perhaps you are a trainee? No, I oversee all trainees, and I'd know if they assigned one to a Royal Selection candidate. So, if you're not a knight, and you're not a trainee… Ah, I see."

Julius smirked as he said, "You must be a self-proclaimed knight, wearing a knock-off uniform. Truly, a man without honor."

Emilia wanted to jump to Subaru's defense, but a hand on her arm stayed her.

Subaru held his head high, his gaze unfaltering. With confidence and honor, he said, "I am not a knight of the kingdom, but a personal knight under the jurisdiction of Lord Roswaal L. Mathers. I earned my title by protecting Lady Emilia with my life, and I will continue to do so regardless of your perception of me."

It was clear that neither was willing to back down. Eventually, Julius's smirk dissolved into a smile as he said, "I see what Reinhard was saying. A knight of necessity, yet even more honorable than many of the men we fight alongside." He bowed his head respectfully. "Truly, a pleasure to meet you, Sir Subaru."

Subaru's façade broke ever-so-slightly. "You were… testing me?" he asked, a bit hurt.

With a hint of regret, Julius said, "Forgive me: it is rare for Reinhard to offer such high praise, and I wanted to see for myself if his claims were true. You have exceeded my expectations, Sir Subaru, and you have my gratitude for the same reasons I gave Lady Emilia."

He held out his hand, palm-up, as six lesser spirits came into existence. "You implied you were a Spirit Knight, yes? I would like to see your contracted spirits if you don't mind. It is rare to find another spiritualist."

Subaru nodded, seemingly satisfied with the explanation. He held out his hand, mirroring Julius.

Nothing happened.

Julius tilted his head. "Are you… messing with me?" he asked, slightly annoyed. "Then again, I suppose it is only fair…"

Subaru grinned, his eyes shining with mischief. He turned his hand palm-down and rested it on a head of blonde hair. With obvious pride, he said, "May I introduce Beatrice, Guardian of the Forbidden Library, and a Great Spirit."

Beatrice huffed and crossed her arms. She looked at Subaru, and the two rapidly cycled through a variety of facial expressions before she settled on a scowl as he grinned victoriously. She pointed at Julius with anger in her eyes. "You are not Betty's Subaru, I suppose!" she accused with all the weight of a judge condemning a criminal. "You will _never_ be as good as my contractor, in fact!"

Subaru's smile fell. "That's not what we agreed you would say," he scolded.

She stomped her feet as she vented her anger. "The purple-haired one is making Betty's maidenly heart flutter, in fact! He's must be using the Divine Protection of Gathering Spirits to try and take me away from my contractor, I suppose!"

It was clear she was trying to make Julius angry, but if anything, he was impressed. He stared wide-eyed at Beatrice. "A Great Spirit," he said in awe. "I never thought I would meet one."

At Emilia's silent command, Puck floated out of her hair with a yawn. "Well, now you've met two," he mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

She scratched under Puck's chin, much to his delight. "This is Puck," she introduced with a fond smile. "He's the current Great Spirit of Fire."

Julius looked pale. With shaking hands, he muttered, "I think… I will return to my Lady." He walked away in a daze, barely managing a goodbye.

With boundless amusement, Puck told her, _'_ _I_ _never knew my daughter could be so mischievous.'_

She gave a sly smile. _'Subaru's rubbing off on me,'_ she admitted. The fact that Julius tricked Subaru had nothing to do with it, of course. _'Say, Puck… you'll be watching, right?'_

' _You can count on it,'_ he replied, his pride in her evident. _'I'd never miss such an important event.'_

With a wink, he vanished into his crystal. His presence filled her with warmth and confidence; she didn't know what she'd do without him.

She turned to Subaru, a bit surprised at his massive grin. She couldn't help but match his smile. "Someone's happy," she teased lightly.

His eyes glistened. "I didn't realize how much his approval would mean to me," he said lowly as if embarrassed someone might hear him admit that.

She couldn't imagine how it must feel for a new knight to receive praise from a member of the Royal Guard. Still, for Subaru, it almost seemed personal; it was as if he had craved this very moment, but never expected it to happen. He sent a blinding smile her way, telling her, "I'm glad I'm here, Emilia."

Warmth filled her as she said, "I am, too."

A booming voice broke through the moment.

"May I have your attention, please!" A wizened man with a waist-length grey beard stood at the front of the room as he announced, "My name is Miklotov McMahon, and I am the representative of the Sage Council. Due to my position, I will be presiding over the Royal Selection. "Candidates, present yourselves!"

Subaru, Emilia, Beatrice, and several others made their way to the center of the room, flanked by the Royal Guard on their left and the nobility on their right.

Miklotov made his way to his seat alongside various others: The Sage Council, Emilia presumed. They were backed by a massive tapestry of a golden lion: the former crest of the Royal Family. Now, it was a symbol representing the people's hope for a Lion King that will deliver them to an era of peace. Unfortunately, one had not appeared in four hundred years.

Miklotov faced the crowd and resumed speaking. "As you know, the standard method of choosing a ruler is defunct, and cannot be reinstated until the Royal Selection is completed, as mandated by the Od Laguna. So, the Royal Selection will have three phases.

"First, your introduction here, which will serve as your profile. By the power of the Dragon Tablet, every citizen of Lugunica will have a memory of this event placed in their minds, preventing a reporter's bias from influencing their decision…"

Subaru raised an eyebrow. Leaning in, he whispered to Emilia, "Since when is that a thing?"

She looked at him strangely. She was under the impression that the Sage created the Dragon Tablet, so surely, he would have known how it worked. Then again, judging by the name, it was probably Volcanica's work. Another detail lost to history, she supposed. "Both this event and our achievements in the coming year will be known to everyone outside our Camp," she explained.

"Huh," he muttered in a daze. Under his breath, he said something about "last time." She had no idea as to why, but that was expected when dealing with him.

Miklotov continued, oblivious to the whispered conversation. "…The second phase is your chance to show the good people of Lugunica what kind of ruler you will be. Will you build a public facility? Defeat a monster? Save a business? Perform community service? The choice is yours.

"Lastly, in one year, when the Dragon's Tablet glows, the public shall vote. The winner and her bloodline shall rule this country. Are there any questions?"

"Jus' one." A short, purple-haired woman stepped forward. Judging by her place at Julius's side, Emilia guessed that this was Anastasia Hoshin. She spoke with a thick accent and was somewhat hard to understand, but it had a certain charm to it. "Ain't there supposed to be five candidates? I only see four." Her eyes drifted to Reinhard, who was standing between Emilia and an orange-haired woman. "I'm guessin' the Sword Saint ain't one of them."

Reinhard bowed his head. "You are correct. I am merely representing my Lady."

"And she's late?" Anastasia asked, shaking her head in disappointment. "That ain't a good sign. A ruler's gotta be prompt, ya know?"

Reinhard shook his head. "On the contrary, my Lady is on time. She's simply waiting for the proper moment to introduce herself."

An armored man, standing beside an orange-haired woman in a red dress, let out a chuckle. "'The queen is never late,'" he said with a falsetto. "'Everyone else is simply early.'"

Despite the metal helm he wore, he was smacked upside the head by the orange-haired woman, who scowled. "Can we get on with this?" she grouched. "I have more important things to do than listen to this drivel."

Anastasia rolled her eyes but cleared her throat, nonetheless. "I may's well start." Upon hearing no objections, she told the crowd, "My name is Anastasia Hoshin, and I'm the head've the Kararagi Trading Company." She indicated towards Julius. "This is my Spirit Knight, Julius Juukulius."

He bowed deeply but said nothing.

Anastasia stood tall – or, well, as tall as she could. "I came ta Lugunica not tha' long ago, and I fell in love," she said fondly. It was impossible to doubt the sincerity in her voice. "Y'all are lovely, yer land is gorgeous, and yer food is somethin' else. But yer economy…"

She grimaced like she'd eaten something especially sour. "It's disgustin'," she spat. "Easily the worst problem yer facing. Yer national debt is through the roof, your inflation rate's ridiculous, and half've ya are in the lower class."

With all eyes on her, she asserted: "You're lookin' at the woman who brought fortune ta a dilapidated land. I took the poor and made 'em rich. I took our national debt – the equivalen' of _millions_ of Holy Coins – and brought it ta zero. I brought back our ancien' traditions, and the public is as happy with me as they were with Hoshin himself. If I'm yer ruler, it's not a question of how _much_ I'll save the economy, but how lon' it takes ta do it."

She bowed her head to the crowd, for a queen served her people. "Two years. That's a promise."

Mumbling could be heard throughout the nobility. The thought of a better economy… It was enticing. Emilia had lived a simple life in Elior Forest, bartering pyroxene crystals for supplies, but even she could see the appeal.

Crusch stepped forward and faced the knights. She had an imposing presence, and all eyes gravitated towards her. "I suppose it is my turn," she began, as dignified as always. "My name is Crusch Karsten, head of the Noble House of Karsten. This is my knight, Felix Argyle."

Felix grinned and waved.

"Miss Anastasia," Crusch continued, briefly looking at the purple-haired woman. "I would like to thank you for your observations. You are correct in saying that our economy is… less than stellar." Her eyes hardened as she said, "However, it is _not_ the biggest problem we face."

She turned to the knights once again; it was clear who her target demographic was. "Our population decreases by the day. We are fighting wars on multiple fronts, and for what? Does anyone even remember why we began these fights, or if we even started them in the first place?" Passion and anger filled her voice as she thought of the injustices done to her people. "That's where Miss Anastasia is wrong. Our debt may be increasing, but it's _nothing_ compared to our death toll."

A fire burned in Crusch's eyes. "The good citizens of Lugunica are suffering. The Dragon, our supposed 'protector,'" she spat, like she couldn't bear to use that title, "is nowhere to be found. We need to stop waiting for him and stand up for ourselves!"

With rising passion and hope, Crusch spoke to the soldiers: "I will end the wars at our borders. Whether it's through a peace treaty or subjugation, it doesn't matter. What I care about are Lugunica and its people. Humans, demi-humans, it doesn't matter! I love this country, and I _will_ see its success! Vote for me, and our soldiers will be home by the Winter Solstice!"

She pumped her fist into the air, and the Royal Guard gave a resounding cheer. The nobility's quiet and thoughtful response to Anastasia was one thing, but the patriotic cheers of the knights were simply uplifting.

Emilia couldn't help but smile. These were good people that wanted the best for their brethren, though she didn't approve of the "subjugation" part.

The cheers died down and the orange-haired woman stepped forward as she haughtily announced, "My name is Priscilla Barielle, and I am the head of House Barielle." She flicked her hand behind her. "This armored buffoon is… Well, I don't care to remember its name. All you need to know is that this entire process is pointless."

Miklotov raised an eyebrow as the crowd became somewhat restless. "Why do you say that, Miss Barielle?"

She smirked derisively as if she'd already won. "Because the world is built for my success, of course. I exist, therefore the throne is mine. Simple as that. You fools _will_ vote for me, simply because my luck demands it."

She took her fan out and thrust it forward as if challenging those who would dare deny her. "I know I'll be an excellent queen, but that matters not. Even if you wish for someone else to rule, it will not happen. Go ahead, try to vote for another candidate. Your hand will drift towards my name, for all beings are under the jurisdiction of the Od Laguna, and as such are bound to my will. So, why don't we all go home and –"

"Will someone _please_ shut her up?"

Emilia whipped around as the door slammed open. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her. There, at the front of the room, clad in a flowing yellow dress, was Felt.

Emilia had her suspicions about Felt's candidacy after speaking to her in Reinhard's home but never considered that the younger girl could look so… proper. She walked forward with all the grace of a thief in the night, her head held high. Her light footsteps made no sound, no echo, despite the silence of the room.

Reinhard kneeled before her. "It's wonderful to see you, my Lady," he said with a wide smile. "I was beginning to worry you would not come."

She huffed as she reached him. "You think I'd miss a chance to make an entrance like _that_?" she asked incredulously. "Do you even know who you're talking to?"

Reinhard chuckled at her antics as he turned to face the Sage Council. "Apologies for the interruption," he said politely before placing a hand on Felt's shoulder. "I'd like to introduce you to the next Queen of Lugunica."

One of the nobles angrily exclaimed, "Is this a joke? I recognize that _thief_. You'd bring a _commoner_ into these sacred halls?!"

To the noble's surprise and frustration, Felt laughed derisively. "Oh, that's _rich_ ," she mocked. "I can't wait to knock this guy down a peg!"

The noble sputtered with indignation. "Who are you to speak to me like that? I am –"

Felt scoffed. "I don't care," she said defiantly. "You want to flaunt your status? Go ahead. I did a bit of digging, and it turns out that I have all of you shitheads beat!"

With a flourish, she pointed behind her to the tapestry of a lion. "Look at that!" she ordered. "What do you see?"

"It's the former crest of the Lugunican Royal Family," answered Crusch. "What does that –" Her eyes widened in hope and awe. "Your hair and eyes… Could it be?"

Felt smirked as her eyes brightened with victory. She spoke confidently as if she knew that what she was about to say would swing the votes in her favor. With all the authority of a queen, she spoke:

"I, born as Freya Lugunica, the daughter of Ford Lugunica, am the first Lion King in four centuries! I hereby call off the Royal Selection and claim this throne as my birthright!"

The room was in an uproar. Some were furious that a rude, lying peasant would dare interfere with their ceremony, but many demanded that she be placed on the throne this instant. After all, what was the point of _choosing_ a ruler when their rightful queen was right in front of them?

The Lion King had returned. Their savior had come.

"It's hopeless," Emilia mourned, bemoaning her brethren's fate. They would stay frozen forever. She would never gain access to the dragon's blood.

Subaru, on the other hand, was grinning. "Looks like we got this one in the bag."

She looked at him in surprise. "B-but their queen is –"

"Standing right in front of me." His eyes conveyed his faith in her. "Don't doubt yourself, Emilia. You're easily the best choice out of all the Candidates."

Her mouth dried up, and she still didn't quite believe him, but the pit of anxiety in her stomach lessened as warmth filled her.

At the front of the room, Felt folded her arms as she gave the nobility a haughty look. "I wish it were that simple, but it's not. You pretentious assholes couldn't save your own Royal Family, and I was left to rot in the slums. So, I guess we're stuck doing this your way."

She grinned, a single sharp tooth sticking out. With passion and charisma, she told them, "Vote for me, and I'll tear this establishment down and rebuild it from scratch! I'll make this country the best it possibly can be, instead of this shithole you call Lugunica! Live strong, my subjects! Let the Lion King rule!"

Emilia thought that Crusch's speech inspired patriotism amongst the knights, but it was _nothing_ compared to what Felt received. Sure, some were muttering at her brash behavior, but most were cheering that the Royal Family, the bloodline they pledged their allegiance to, had returned. Even Crusch looked like she wanted to vote for Felt, policies and manners be damned.

Felt – no, Freya Lugunica was the Lion King. That was enough for them.

However, one candidate remained; a divisive being that could unify or divide the country. One to bring hope or fear, and it all depended on how she presented herself.

Amidst the chaos and cheers, Emilia stepped forward and slowly took off her hood.

The room fell silent at the sight of her ears and hair. She turned around, her amethyst eyes on full display, and the room erupted into jeers and whispers.

"A half-elf?"  
"Get her out of here!"  
"The Cult's going to come!"  
"A silver-haired, purple-eyed half-elf has shown itself in Lugunica! We're all doomed!"  
"But didn't they say that a half-elf stopped the Bowel Hunter?"  
"Not a silver-haired one, they didn't!"

Emilia tried to keep her face blank, but it was difficult. She had never gotten used to how the world views her.

A devil. A half-demon. A Witch.

The knowledge that, in a sense, she _was_ Satella did not help her tumultuous emotions.

The terrified face of a child tore through her mind. The disgust in the mother's eyes and the rage on the father's face. _"The Witch!"_ they had cried, venom and fear coating their every word. _"It's the Witch! Get out of here, Witch!"_

There was a reason she lived in the forest… and that's where she should have stayed.

"Get away from us!"  
"A toad would make a better ruler than you!"  
"Begone, half-demon! Go back to the hell you crawled out of!"  
"Die, Witch!"

She was a cursed existence. She didn't even have a complete soul. How could she stand there and pretend to be one of them when she was an abomination?

This was a bad idea. She shouldn't have taken Roswaal's hand. She should –

A hand, gentle yet firm, rested on her shoulder. Torn from her thoughts, she hesitantly looked up to find her knight with his head held high.

"I'm disappointed in all of you," Subaru stated, his voice reverberating around the room. The whispers died down as many turned their ire upon him, but he was unfazed. "I expected more from the good citizens of Lugunica. Perhaps that was my mistake."

One of the nobles raised a clenched fist. "So, you're openly siding with a half-elf?!" he asked incredulously. It was left unsaid, but the underlying threat hung in the air.

" _If you say yes,"_ he was saying, _"you'll reputation will be ruined."_

"Indeed, I am," Subaru stated without a hint of hesitation. "And you would, too, if you were in my position."

Most were angry, but some were attentive. They had all heard that there was a half-elf watching out for them, even if her identity was a mystery. It was no surprise that her resemblance to the Witch of Envy would throw them into a tizzy.

However, Subaru and Reinhard's careful spreading of rumors had paid off: the people's minds had been opened enough that they were willing to listen, albeit reluctantly.

Subaru knew that, and he capitalized on it. "When I came to this country," he began, "I had nothing. No money, status, power, or knowledge of your written language. Within the hour, I found myself on the ground, beaten senseless by a group of thugs. I was an inch away from death… until Lady Emilia saved me."

Emilia's breath caught in her throat. That wasn't what happened at all! She was backed into a corner, terrified of her own power, when Subaru came to drive off the threat. Why would he make up such a story?

Except… he wasn't lying. His eyes shone with gratitude, admiration, and love. It never happened… but somehow, it had.

She already knew he couldn't tell her what it meant.

The entire time, his hand didn't leave her shoulder. Perhaps he was drawing strength from her the same way she was from him. "Something precious was stolen from her, but she let the thief escape just to help a fallen stranger." His gaze was distant and lost in memories, but his voice never wavered. "She drove off the enemy, healed me, and stayed with me until I was conscious once more.

"I've never forgotten how she saved me, and I never will. Since then, I have followed in her footsteps, trying to be half the person she is. She is my strength and my motivation. She is the reason I am the man you see today: a Spirit Knight worthy of standing by her side."

An unbidden smile spread across her lips. Those words were a memory worth living for.

His clothes had been bloody and torn, but his smile was radiant. _"I'll become a knight worthy of standing by your side,"_ he had promised.

She was a sobbing mess, but she couldn't help but feel warm. He saved her from Capella, and he was questioning his worth? With unbound affection, she told him, _"You're already worthy, you dummy."_

With confidence and poise befitting a knight… no, a _king_ , he implored the people of Lugunica: "Please, hear her out. Listen to the woman who has committed no crime aside from existing."

He could have left it at that; after all, the people were giving him looks of respect and were prepared to listen to her.

However, Subaru Natsuki never did anything by halves. His grip on her shoulder tightened, and he spoke the words that would change Lugunica forever: "I swear by the Sage that it's worth it."

The room held their collective breath as Miklotov looked at Subaru in shock. "Sir Subaru, I beg of you to reconsider that statement," he pleaded. "To make such an oath… The Od Laguna does not take it lightly. I know you are a foreigner, but even you must know how much weight it holds to swear to the Great Sage, Shaula."

Emilia saw the unending pain in Subaru's eyes, but everyone else saw him smile. "Shaula…" he murmured. "What a lovely, kind person. A bit energetic, but I've always appreciated that about her."

The room erupted into mutterings. Miklotov tried to keep them quiet, but it was clear that he, too, was thrown off-kilter. "Not only do you claim to know the Sage, but you'd speak about him with such levity?" He furrowed his eyebrows at the perceived slight. "And in such an important ceremony, too… Have you no respect for our country's history?"

Subaru raised his chin in defiance. "Do not worry. I have nothing but the utmost reverence and adoration for Shaula," he declared, his regal expression never changing. "I am not lying when I say that I know her quite well. She is quite important to me."

"If I may be so bold as to interrupt," said Reinhard from his place by Felt's side. "Sir Subaru speaks the truth. Shaula is very dear to him, and she respects him above all else. If anyone has the right to swear by the Sage, it is Sir Subaru."

The room erupted as questions were shouted left and right. To have the backing of the Sword Saint – one who had the Divine Protection of Wind Indication, at that – was nothing to scoff at. Could this previously unknown knight truly be affiliated with such a legendary figure?

However, one question rose above the rest. "She?" Crusch asked incredulously, successfully silencing the room. "If you've met the Great Sage, then surely you know that he is male."

She narrowed her eyes at Subaru. "Look me in the eye and speak the truth," she demanded. "I must see this for myself."

Subaru met her glare head-on, completely unfazed. "I know Shaula better than anyone," he declared. "She is precious to me, and…" He took a deep breath, carefully considering his next statement. "…she is unwaveringly loyal to mine and Lady Emilia's souls."

The room was still, as if expecting the Od Laguna itself to strike him down for such a statement. Crusch, however, looked like her entire world was ripped out from under her feet. "He's not lying," she whispered, but it was unclear if it was in shock, amazement, or grave disappointment. Louder, she announced to the room at large, "Sir Subaru is not lying! The Great Sage wishes for Lady Emilia to become queen!"

At that, time seemed to stop. Because of the power of the Dragon Tablet, the entire country heard those words.

The mere idea that the Sage who sealed Satella would want a silver-haired half-elf to be queen shocked the world into silence.

Taking advantage of the moment, Subaru gently pushed Emilia forward. "Now's your chance," he whispered. "You got this, Emilia-tan."

She looked at her knight, amethyst eyes shining. ' _Thank you. I know how hard that was for you. You didn't have to do that. I don't deserve someone like you. I love you.'_

To her dismay, a lump formed in her throat, and all she could manage was a nod. With firm resolve, she vowed to thank him properly later.

She stepped forward to face the silent crowd as they awaited her speech with bated breath. Their expectations piled on her like the ice that had once encased her. Could she truly be the queen they believed her to be?

She glanced at the man beside her as he gave a comforting smile. At the very least, she could try.

At first, she had wanted to say something simple: a speech along the lines of, "I want everyone to be equal." It wouldn't even be a lie; after all, equality was one of her goals.

Subaru's words drifted through her mind. _"Anyone can stand up there and claim they want equality,"_ he had told her as they were writing her speech. _"You need something substantial if you want to win their hearts, let alone their votes."_

" _But what can I say?"_ she asked hopelessly. _"Nothing I can provide will be good enough when they're looking at a half-elf."_

His eyes gleamed, but whether it was with faith or mischief, she did not know _. "Believe in yourself,"_ he said softly. _"By the end of your speech, they'll be clamoring to put you on the throne."_

It was time to put his theory to the test.

"Citizens of Lugunica," she called out, forcing her voice to remain steady. "I am Emilia. Only Emilia."

She was somewhat meek by nature. Subaru told her that her kindness and innocence would be taken advantage of in politics and that she couldn't allow that.

She knew she was stronger than she was a few months ago, but was she strong enough to rule a country?

"This country is hurting," she said solemnly. "The other candidates are correct: our economy is abysmal, and we are at war. However, there is another threat: one that causes those issues and will perpetuate them for eternity, lest we stop them."

She had their attention now; it was not just because of Subaru's words but her own speech.

"You know who it is. They are spoken of in the darkest of alleyways and the shadiest of taverns. The topic is skirted over in war councils and the Royal Guard fear them." With eyes of steel, she said, "I am talking, of course, about the Witch's Cult."

This strength, this façade she put up… it was a lie. She was weak. She was a follower. She relied on Subaru for everything. She was not fit to be a ruler.

"They burn your buildings, pillage your roads, and manipulate politics from the shadows. They destroyed your history and replace it with their warped view. They're a menace to society."

…Or was she? If this was a lie, then why did it feel so… right?

"It's not fair," she insisted, compassion oozing from her every word. "What have you done to deserve this? What have you done to earn their ire?"

Her eyes passed over them as she put the truth in words. "Nothing. You've done nothing wrong." With the strength and will of a ruler, she promised them, "But now, I'm here. You shall suffer no longer."

She felt confident. She _was_ confident. With every word increasing in volume and strength, she passionately told the crowd:

"I will tear the Witch's Cult to pieces."

That was not merely Subaru's goal, but hers. The radicals of the Cult destroyed her home.

"These are no mere platitudes, nor are they unjustified boasts. My Camp has killed the Sin Archbishop of Lust and her servant, the Bower Hunter." Many gasped at her statement, but she paid them no heed. "Our crusade against the Sin Archbishop of Greed was successful. With our blood, sweat, and tears, we freed dozens of slaves from that madman."

Was this what Subaru saw in her? Was this the strength she sought?

Or… did she have it this whole time, but didn't see it?

"Whether you vote for me or not will not change my fight or my drive," she declared. "I _will_ eradicate the cult. I _will_ save the good people of Lugunica. I _will_ eliminate every Sin Archbishop."

It was always in her. She was merely afraid of it, but no longer. This was who she was.

She was worthy. She was powerful. She was a queen.

Lowering her voice, she told them, "When my conquest is complete and the Archbishops lay dead, my Camp will cross the uncrossable desert, and achieve what the Great Heroes could not."

She paused for effect, knowing that she was about to legitimize her candidacy. With determination and resolve, she vowed:

"We will kill the Witch of Envy, once and for all."


	20. Diligence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for keeping me diligent when I want to be lazy.

_On the apex of a hill, the Sage gazed at the horizon, marveling at the myriad of colors that the sunset provided. He took a deep breath as the magic in the air brushed across his skin._

_Subaru loved the mansion and the Tower._ _However, he desperately_ _needed a break_ _, and there was something about Lugunican natural wonders that made his heart sing with joy. Case in point, this… completely empty field._

_Oh, sure, there were some weeds, but the field was nothing special. Perhaps that's exactly why he chose this setting. There was a certain peacefulness to something so untouched by man, and yet –_

" _It's so boooring! Can't we do something about it, Master?"_

_A woman clad in orange and black stood beside him. Her forest-green eyes and chestnut-brown hair enchanted men and women alike. She was truly stunning, but to look upon her felt sinful. Part of it was her attire, yes, but to lust after her was to desecrate something sacred and innocent._

_Subaru would never look at her in such a way, but he had already fought off many desperate suitors. Not that anyone would be good enough for her, of course, for she was impeccable in every way._

_His apprentice. His friend. His daughter. The one he vowed to protect and never leave behind._

_Shaula, the finest creation of the Witch of Gluttony and the Sage. It had only been half a year, but Subaru couldn't imagine life without her._

_Satella often teased him about Shaula, saying things like,_ "Having a child with another woman? How scandalous!"

_But there was never any bite to it, for although they mourned their lack of children, they adored Shaula as their own._

_Shaula was made from his love, but it was a different kind of love than the one he shared with his wife. It was indulgent instead of passionate, gluttonous instead of temperate. That love was reflected in her personality, for better or for worse._

_He grinned at his partner-in-crime. "You see boring, I see potential. Tell me: what can we do with an open field, so far removed from humanity?"_

_She frowned, and he cursed himself for marring such an adorable face. Suddenly, she lit up, and the feeling went away. "Target practice, yep!" she cheered._

_He snapped his fingers as he playfully said, "Bingo! I knew there was a reason I liked you."_

_She blushed at the compliment before putting a hand to her chin. "But what can we use for targets? This field is so_ _empty._ _"_

_Magic danced between his fingers, as the power of the world itself was at his beck and call. He grinned. "You forget who you're talking to."_

_She slapped a hand to her chest and gave a dramatic gasp. "Me? Forget Master?! You wound me!"_

_Satisfied that he had successfully impressed his mannerisms onto her, he vowed, "You won't have to forget me because I'll never let you go." He couldn't imagine leaving the side of such a sweet, wonderful girl._

_Cracking his neck, he ordered, "Now, watch this."_

_He made a finger gun and pointed at the far-left end of the field. "Firing" it, he shot a blast of magic at even intervals, creating an eight-by-eight grid. At each point, a sprout appeared; a living, breathing plant created out of nothing._

_He pretended to blow off smoke from his finger gun as she gaped. "Such power of creation…" she murmured in awe. "You might even rival Mother and Other Mother."_

_His smile wavered at the latter. "Y-yeah… Would be nice if they could have made it on our little outing."_

_She grinned brightly, ignorant to her Master's inner turmoil. "It's totally fine, yep!" she chirped. "Mother is out eating, and Other Mother is resting. They'll come next time, I'm sure of it!"_

_Resting. Yeah, right. It had been a year and Satella's condition had deteriorated even further. She slept almost fourteen hours a day and had minimal energy while awake. Casting any kind of magic caused her intense pain._

_Something was seriously wrong, and he had_ _no clue_ _what to do about it. He was the Sage; he had access to more information than anyone else, but he could not solve their problems. Even the Od Laguna was silent on the matter. Whether it was because it could not help or because the issue would be solved in other ways, Subaru did not know._

_With desperation, he had made his way to the Sanctuary – he was not half-human, or even human at all, so the barrier did not affect him – and begged for help from the only person who had access to more information than him: The Witch of Greed, Echidna._

_He lauded himself as being stronger than the boy who cowered before her, but there he was: on his knees, pathetically pleading to the woman who tried to murder his wife._

_The one who, undoubtedly, was the cause of his woes._

"How interesting," _she had said._ "Your love has not faded, even after all these years."

 _She didn't understand genuine emotion, and he wanted to curse her for it, but he needed her help_. "Please," _he begged._ "You're the Witch of Greed. You must know something."

 _With a wistful sigh, she mused,_ "Prostrating yourself before me, beseeching me for knowledge whilst looking at me with those greedy eyes… You are cruel to a pure maiden such as I."

 _He tensed but held his tongue. All those years ago, when she looked into his eyes for the first time, she fell in "love." He didn't know why, or what she saw, but the look on her face… The_ need _in them to take what she believed was rightfully hers… It sent shivers down his spine._

"So, you'll help me?" _he asked, hoping her strange, twisted feelings would allow him some leniency._

 _The response was simple, flat._ "No."

 _He couldn't help it; he let out a growl._ "Why not?" _he ground out._

 _A thin smile spread across her lips as she confessed,_ "With Satella gone, there will be nothing to stop you from falling into my arms."

_In a rage, electricity danced between his fingertips. Just a wave of his hand and she would be blasted to bits. Nothing, not even a Witch, could stand before his fury._

… _But Satella wouldn't want that. His wife was sweet, forgiving._

"It's in her nature as the Witch of Greed," _she would say as she tried to mask the pain._ "It's not okay, but it's not her fault."

_So, he took a deep breath, turned his back to Echidna, and walked away. Walked away from the Witch, from the Sanctuary, and from his problems. He grabbed Shaula and teleported them away with nary an explanation._

_And that's how he found himself on the apex of the hill, gazing at the horizon as a colorless sunset fell upon him._

_He plastered a smile on his face as he looked at Shaula. "She'll definitely be here next time," he said, cursing inwardly at how his voice wavered. "For now, let's work on your attacks."_

_Shaula jumped for joy. "Woohoo! Which one am I doing first?"_

" _I was thinking_ Hell's Snipe. _"_

" _Then_ Hell's Snipe _it is, yep!" With all the force of a supernova concentrated into a single laser, she fired. A moment later, the entire field was a massive crater._

_His jaw dropped. "I'm so glad you're on my side," he muttered._

_As she admired her handiwork, she innocently asked, "Hmm?"_

" _N-nothing." He waved his hand, restoring the field to its previous state. "Why don't we try hitting the specific targets, one at a time?"_

_With the giddiness of a child, she complied. A few seconds later, and there were sixty-four miniature craters evenly spaced throughout the field._

_He gulped. "Shaula…"_

_With a broad smile, she asked, "Yes, Master?"_

_He looked her in the eye and quietly said, "You're incredible, you know that? I'm so proud of you."_

_She blushed. "Heh, I know. It's all because of you, you know that? I love you, Master."_

_He shifted uncomfortably. There was a reason she called Daphne "Mother" but_ never _acknowledged Subaru as her father._

_Shaula went from a newborn to a fully-grown woman in the span of three days. On the third day, she began to look at Subaru differently, but he still saw the baby in his arms. She saw her beloved Master, and he saw his daughter._

_He used to wonder if it was his fault. Did he have some sick, subconscious desire? Was she a projection of the tropes from his homeland? Perhaps this was the Od Laguna's way of telling him that he was not meant to have children._

_Eventually, he realized that it wasn't any of those things. Authorities often held jurisdiction over the Od Laguna, and Shaula was created with Daphne's Authority of Gluttony._

_The single-minded love of the Sage and the exuberance of the Witch of Gluttony… What a bizarre, yet fascinating combination._ _Shaula's unbounded, uncontrollable affection was merely in her nature; she was a glutton for love of all kinds. It may have unnerved him, but he understood that romantic and sexual love were to be expected from her… even if it were directed at her father figure._

_Unable to lie while looking at her forest-green eyes, he solemnly told her, "I won't say it back."_

_At least, not in the way she wanted._

_Over the last year, Subaru learned what it meant to_ truly _love someone. Love was when you dedicated your entire life to a single person and every action was dictated by their existence. Love was when you would sacrifice a friend to save your beloved. Love was when you were willing to destroy the world for the health of one._

 _He wasn't capable of_ truly _loving anyone but Satella. That's what it meant to be the Sage._

_Slowly but surely, his love for others was fading. There was too little time for that. He shouldn't even be here now, he needed to search for a ritual to heal Satella and –_

" _L-look," he called out, changing the subject lest he spiral into anger yet again. "That sapling is still standing!"_

_Shaula whipped around. "No way," she breathed. With eyes full of determination, she shouted, "All right,_ _Hell's_ _–"_

" _No!" he cried, grabbing her arm, and directed it upwards._ _Hell's Snipe_ _fired into the air, where it would travel infinitely until it hit something._

 _With morbid amusement, he realized, '_ Some poor planet just met its fate at the hands of a cute scorpion lady.'

_She looked at him, confused. "What's wrong, Master?" she asked, a bit hurt that he stopped her attack. "Did I disappoint you?"_

" _None of that," he said quickly as he pointed to the sapling. "To think that it could survive an attack from the mighty Shaula, the Sage's Apprentice… That should be celebrated, don't you think?"_

_She adopted a thoughtful look. "I suppose… Yeah, I'm okay with that."_

" _So, what should we do? Decorate it?"_

" _Nah," she said dismissively. "Just make it bigger."_

_He grinned. "I like the way you think."_

_With a stray thought, the sapling grew into a bush, then a hedge, and then a tree that would never die. He spread his arms wide. "I dub these –"_

" _The Master Tree, yep!" she exclaimed cheerfully._

_He cast her a sideways glance as he disappointedly muttered, "I was gonna name it something cool, like Yggdrasil, or the World Tree."_

_She pouted. "But I love naming things after Master…"_

_He sighed. He was a sucker for the pouty face. "How about the Flugel Tree?" he compromised. "That's close enough, right?"_

_She considered his proposal for a moment before deciding, "It's still named after Master, so it's acceptable, yep." With a grin, she asked, "Ooh, can_ _we_ _carve our names in it?"_

_He grinned right back. It sounded like a wonderful way to commemorate their partnership and bond. At the base of the tree, he wrote_ _their names in the language of his homeland. With a satisfied smile, he grabbed her hand and teleported them home._

_But something unfortunate happened. Over time, the tree grew and grew, and the names moved farther and farther apart._

" _Flugel was here" stayed at the bottom, for the world to know that he planted the tree._

" _Shaula was here" was moved to the top, hidden by the clouds, as the Sage's Apprentice was abandoned._

* * *

The capital of Lugunica was abuzz with excitement. Heated debates, passionate claims, excited conversations… Everyone had something to say, and they wanted to make sure everyone else knew their opinion.

What better place to loudly express one's opinion than in a dimly lit, run-down tavern?

A wolfin – a massive, humanoid wolf with brown fur and a mohawk – slammed his fist on the countertop. "Thirty gold for a shot of your cheapest whiskey? This is why Anastasia Hoshin should be queen!"

The woman a few seats away shot him a glare. Scathingly, she asked, "My brother is risking his life on the Vollachian border, and you're more worried about a few coins? We need Crusch Karsten!"

A feline demi-human, already drunk in the middle of the day, raised his head off a nearby table. "Eh, war's always ov'r resources 'n shit," he slurred. "The purple-'aired bird's gonna fix tha' righ' up."

The bartender, a giant, washed a glass as he frowned. "The war with Vollachia started because of a diplomatic disagreement, right? Not the economy. There was a meeting or somethin', and the Lugunican royalty never showed."

The wolfin rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah, because they all _died_ ," he pointed out helpfully.

"Which is _exactly_ why we should choose Fe- Freya Lugunica." The giant averted his eyes, hurriedly correcting his mistake. "Havin' the Royal Family back would solve everythin'."

"Nonsense," a bearded man scoffed. "All these issues will just come back next year cause of the Cult. We need Emilia to be queen!"

At his side, the woman that announced her support of Crusch incredulously asked, "Are you insane? She's a half-elf!"

"I don't give a shit, and neither should you!" the bearded man shot back. "She has the support of the _Sage_ , so _clearly_ we were wrong about half-elves as a whole!"

The woman had no rebuttal, but another drunk patron enthusiastically agreed with the bearded man. "Hear, hear!" he cried. "That war with Vollachinian had… had a… Cult interveenshun… Not roooyal… So, if we… They go… Emiliaaa…"

He abruptly broke down sobbing as his (considerably soberer) companion patted his back. "Forgive my friend," he said sincerely. "But you have to understand: his son was murdered by the Cult."

He gulped. At length, he shakily said, "And my wife… Well, I'll be joining my friend in voting for Emilia."

A chorus of sympathetic nods filled the tavern. Many had lost loved ones to the Cult, and that alone was enough to make them vote for Emilia.

But to think that she also planned to kill the Witch of Envy… That was a sentiment that _everyone_ could get behind.

A dwarf took a seat at the counter and sighed, a mopey expression on his face. "I don't know why you all bother arguing about this," he said morosely. "We all know Priscilla Barielle's gonna win."

"That brat?" the wolfin asked with raised eyebrows. "No one will vote for her!"

"You all know how good her luck is," the dwarf pointed out. "A gust of wind and you've marked the wrong box."

"D'ya 'ear yerself? Gust o' wind my ass! We need… need…" The drunk demi-human, still lauding Anastasia as the rightful ruler, slammed his head to the table as he began to snore.

The bartender let out a hearty laugh before saying, "This'll be an interesting year, that's for sure." He then directed everyone's attention to a hooded stranger in a dark corner of the bar by asking, "What about you? You've been quiet this whole time."

With pride in his voice, the stranger announced, "I've merely been thinking about how Lady Emilia is the best candidate, is all."

One of the other patrons piped up, "Course she's the best. She's got the backing of the Sage, and she's gonna kill the Witch!"

"Not just that," the hooded stranger told them. "You saw it yourself: Lady Emilia is kind, strong, shrewd, and wise. She'll bring this country into an era of peace."

Murmurings of agreement filled the bar. He could have sworn that he heard someone mumble that Emilia was an "angel."

He couldn't agree more.

With a raised eyebrow, the bartender mused, "It seems that many people are plannin' to vote for her. I wouldn't mind livin' in a world where people are okay with demi-humans, even if I myself am already partial to Freya."

With a chuckle, the hooded stranger conceded, "The girl's got spirit for sure. There will certainly be a lot of changes around here if she's queen, but the same could be said for Lady Emilia." He walked over to the counter and tossed a small bag of coins at the bartender. "Keep the change."

The giant eyed him strangely. "You didn't even order anything," he pointed out.

"So? I like you, and I don't like the man who gave me these coins."

He handed the coins back with a chuckle. "Thanks, but I don't need it. I live rent-free with some fancy folk; I just run this bar cause I like doin' it."

"Heh, I know." With that, Subaru turned and left with a wave. "See you at Reinhard's, Old Man Rom."

Rom rolled his eyes, muttering fondly, "That kid, I swear…"

Subaru walked out of the tavern and inhaled deeply, enjoying the fresh air. He let down his hood, revealing a massive grin. He'd been hearing responses like that all day: they hate the Witch's Cult, and they want the one who has the Sage's backing. Some were outright praising Emilia and convincing others to vote for her. This was better than he could have ever hoped for.

Last time, the Emilia Camp was a joke. Now, they had a fighting chance.

He headed to the alleyway that served as their designated meeting place; it wasn't the one he met Emilia in, but he couldn't help but notice how they looked almost identical.

Leaning against the wall, an annoyed Beatrice was impatiently tapping her foot as she grumbled, "Was it worth making Betty wait, I suppose?"

"Absolutely," he said happily. "Tons of people are thinking about voting for Emilia."

She crossed her arms as she scathingly asked, "Did you need to check _seven places_ , I wonder?"

With a nod, he said, "Of course. It's been a while since the public respected a silver-haired half-elf, and I needed to prove to myself that this was actually happening."

Her eyes softened as she conceded, "Betty understands, I suppose. Even back then, when people were saying nice things about _her_ , I wasn't around to hear it, in fact. I only heard…" She trailed off as Subaru began to look uncomfortable.

"You need to stop blaming yourself, I suppose," she said quietly.

He glared at her as he incredulously asked, "Are you seriously trying to say it's okay?!"

"You know I'm not," she said in the same soothing tone, "but if you were to constantly punish yourself, you'd never get anything done, I suppose. Betty needs her Subaru to be fully functional, and there are more productive outlets for your remorse, in fact."

His hand drifted to his arm, but he put it back down. It was oddly comforting to hear Beatrice say that.

Satella told him that he was forgiven and redeemed. She genuinely believed that everyone understood his motives and wouldn't blame him.

' _Utter bullshit,'_ he thought reproachfully.

He knew she honestly didn't blame him and just wanted him to feel better, but she also let go of her anger towards Echidna for torturing her for a decade. That didn't bode well for how a normal person would view his actions, let alone those directly affected by them.

As the Sage, he committed unthinkable crimes. That shouldn't be brushed off. One person forgiving him wasn't enough; he needed to spend his entire life repenting for his sins.

Beatrice understood that. She didn't hate him, nor was she angry; she simply wanted to help with his atonement.

Still, she once tried to claim that others might have done the same in his situation. She even pointed out that others were equally at fault or even more so. He… didn't react well. That was the first time he yelled at her. However, instead of running away or getting angry in return, she merely hugged him and let him cry.

He didn't fully understand why, but despite everything, his family loved him.

"Thanks, Beako," he said earnestly. "I'm glad I have you to talk to."

Softly, she told him, "That's what Betty is here for, I suppose."

He let himself smile. "Well, you're also here for me to do this…"

He grabbed one of her pigtails in each hand and pulled. They vibrated like springs as she squealed in protest. With great indignation, she cried, "Why would you do that, I wonder?!"

"You're adorable," he stated.

"That's not an answer, in fact!" she fumed. "You didn't even say, 'because,' I suppose!"

"What if I said, 'You're cute,' instead?"

" _That doesn't solve the problem, I suppose!"_

Subaru laughed just as Emilia and Rem entered the alleyway. When Emilia saw him, she turned bright red and gave a shy smile.

He was sure he was matching her expression as he called out, "H-hey, Emma, Rem."

"Hi," Emilia said softly. "I, um… Yeah."

"Eloquent as always, Emilia-tan," he teased.

Some of her blush faded as she shot back, "Says the man who stuttered out a 'hey.'"

With matching grins, their embarrassment faded as she went to stand before him. After all, it's not like anything untoward happened the night before. It was merely… different.

A very _exciting_ kind of different, and it made her giddy.

' _Baby steps,'_ she reminded herself. _'He's not ready yet.'_

"Why did you call us here?" she asked, pushing away her thoughts. There was a time and place for everything, after all. "You said there's a mission, but we didn't have a war council."

"We did," he admitted, "but we didn't want to distract you from the Royal Selection."

She was a bit hurt, but she understood their mindset. She had been struggling enough with her nerves; he was only looking out for her, as always. So, she promised him, "Then I'll get even stronger, so you won't have to worry about me."

He gave her a wry grin. "Nonsense. I'll _always_ worry about you."

With a coy smile, she reminded him, "You seem to find yourself in _far_ more trouble than me, mister."

He coughed and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "insignia."

Emilia blushed and was about to respond but was interrupted by Rem, who coldly said, "Are you two done flirting? We have business to attend to."

Subaru gave Rem an apologetic look. She was always serious like this when thinking about their target. Well, that or angry. "Sorry, Rem. You're right. This is way more important."

Emilia tilted her head to the side as her face regained its normal color. "You never did say what we were doing," she noted. "Why _are_ we on a mission?"

He grimaced. "Rem smelled a Sin Archbishop in the capital and discovered his identity."

She gasped. "A Sin Archbishop?" she asked, horrified. "You mean… like Regulus?"

He thought for a moment before admitting, "We don't know anything about him. All we know is that he's one of the candidate's knights."

Realization settled on her features. "It's Felix, isn't it? Oh, I should have known! He was so mean to you!"

He shook his head, saying, "It's not Felix. He's a good guy, I swear, but he holds a grudge against people why try to kill themselves." He forced himself to ignore her flinch and started walking. "Let's go. Something tells me that there's more to this story, so I'd like to talk to him, first."

She frowned but followed anyway. A short time later, they found themselves in front of a mansion. It was not quite as large as Regulus's, but it towered over most estates. Red and orange banners lined the building like pillars, and the same statue was placed all over the garden. A great beast pierced by three swords – the Royal Emblem of Vollachia.

Crusch's front gates had strict security; after all, a large portion of her campaign budget was purely to prevent assassination attempts. Priscilla, despite being less popular, held no such fear. The opulent front gates, painted red like blood, were open and unguarded.

However, it was not inviting. It was a challenge.

" _Come and get me,"_ it said.

Accepting the challenge, Subaru marched right up to the front door and pounded his fist on it; Rem, Emilia, and Beatrice following behind him. Not a minute later, the door opened to reveal a figure towering over all of them. Clad in yellow and green, he wore a helm but no other armor, choosing to leave most of his torso exposed.

However, his most distinguishing feature was his lack of a left arm.

With bated breath, Rem, Emilia, and Beatrice prepared for battle. Their auras lashed out as power filled the air and –

"Can't say I was expecting visitors," the man said lightly as if they were old friends. "But hey, I'm always up for a chat. Come on in, Subaru."

Subaru grinned. "Thanks, Al." He waved for the others to come in. They gaped at him and sputtered incoherently.

Beatrice was the first to regain her speech. "What are you doing, I wonder?" she hissed. "Are you forgetting who this is?"

He chuckled. "Course not. This is Al, Priscilla's knight."

"That's not what I meant, I suppose!"

Al waved with his non-existent left arm. "Nice to see you again! You as well, Miss Emilia, Beatrice. Can't say I've met the blue-haired one."

Rem regained her bearings as her flail appeared in her hands. "That's because I don't introduce myself to _scum_ ," she spat. Her knuckles turned white as her grip tightened. "I'm going to ask you a question. Answer me honestly. If you lie, or I don't like your answer, I _will_ kill you."

He rubbed the back of his neck, taking everything in stride. "I may hang around Priscilla a lot, so my idea of politeness is a bit skewed, but I'm pretty sure that's not how you introduce yourself. But hey, it's still nicer than what I'm used to. Go ahead, shoot." Noticing how she pulled her flail back, he hurriedly added, "It means ask your question."

She retracted her flail but didn't stop glaring at him. With her tone threatening untold horrors if he was anything but truthful, she asked, "Are you the Sin Archbishop of Pride?"

He tilted his head and thought for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, casually saying, "Hell if I know."

Silence. Al seemed content to let it reign.

Emilia regained her senses and whirled around to face Subaru, demanding, "Explain. Now."

He raised his hands defensively, asking, "What makes you think I know anything about this?"

With her hands on her hips, she deadpanned, "Because you're Subaru Natsuki."

"I can't exactly deny that," he conceded. "I mentioned that Rem discovered a Sin Archbishop – well, someone with a Witch Factor, at least – and she figured out that it was Al. The location of only one Witch Factor is unknown, and that's Pride. So…"

He looked to Al, nonchalantly asking, "Do you have the Witch Factors of Pride?"

Al shrugged. "I was never informed otherwise," he said indifferently, "but it would certainly explain a lot."

Subaru grinned triumphantly. "There you go. Al's a good guy."

Emilia gaped at him. "How did you get that from his statement?!"

His smile widened as he saw his opening. "You know, you're starting to talk like me, Emilia- _tan_."

The honorific was uttered with a stronger emphasis than normal, and Al stiffened. Carefully, like he wasn't sure it was possible, he asked, "Did you just say what I think you said?"

"I did," Subaru said smugly.

"So… You're from…"

"I am."

Al paused for a moment before letting out a breathy laugh, letting it rattle around his helmet. "I can't believe it," he said excitedly. "I thought I was the only one!"

They rapidly fired a bunch of words Emilia didn't understand; things like "eeseckaiy," "Juhpan," and "monguh." She was about to ask what in tarnation was happening when someone beat her to the punch.

"Sir Subaru," Rem cut off. Her voice was cold as her icy-blue eyes pierced him. "I do not know what you are speaking of, but you should not be treating this _thing_ with such levity."

Al chuckled. "Man, that's harsh," he said, unfazed by the insult. "You really _are_ like your sister."

Subaru's eyes widened as his excitement dissipated. "How do you –"

But he never got to complete his question. Rem had already decapitated Al, for he had made the same mistake as Subaru did all those months ago.

" _How do you know how my sister would act?"_ Rem had asked dangerously. Subaru had died less than a minute later.

And now, Al was gone.

Subaru turned to yell at Rem, but he couldn't speak. The space around them twisted and spun as his mind, body, and soul were flung back in time…

…right back to when Al opened the door.

Subaru collapsed to the ground as he vomited up his breakfast. He gasped for breath, trying to stay conscious.

He faintly heard someone calling his name, but it was as if they were yelling through a tunnel. Flashes of silver and purple covered his vision as a bright yellow came from his right. There was a faint glow and his wounds –

Twist, spin, distortion, his very soul, caught in a loop _again again again again_

Emilia called his name, sheer terror in her eyes. She desperately reached for him, but never made it, for he had looped again.

Blue, at his left. A flail, thrown at the speed of sound. An armored head leaving a body. Distorted space, shifting time _again again again again_

On and on he tumbled as reality crashed and burned.

This was not Return by Death. This was something else entirely.

Blue. Flail. Head leaving the body. Flung back in time. Rinse and repeat. It happened every time Rem killed Al _._ Subaru needed to stop her, but how? There wasn't enough time to get his bearings and call out to her before the world reset.

For the hundredth time, he collapsed and vomited. Pain exploded in his head as his temple crashed into the stone. He had no time to scream, for Rem's attack was faster.

This power was clearly an Authority, and no one else – barring Al, most likely – was aware of the effects. However, Subaru could see Sloth's hands and could remember Gluttony's victims. It was only natural that he knew Pride's failures.

Invisible Providence was no use, for they were too far away. He had no magic because Beatrice was out of reach. The only thing he could do was use Cor Leonis. He focused on Rem's light and –

Subaru screamed as gashes appeared all over his body. Al's Witch Factor had detected the interference. For that, Subaru was punished, for how _dare_ he disobey the origin of all Sins?

The world flung back in time yet again, and he deactivated Cor Leonis. Now, he was in an even more precarious position. He was still vomiting from vertigo, but he also had to contend with life-threatening injuries,

Minutes, hours, days… He didn't know how long it had been. He couldn't call out. He couldn't scream. He couldn't move.

There was no escape.

Was this how it ended? An eternal loop of suffering? Would he keep going until he bled out and Returned by Death?

Was he just going to give up?

…No. He would not.

It wasn't because he would be missed. It wasn't because of his promise.

It was because he wanted to live. To see the next morning alongside the ones he loved. It didn't matter what he was facing, for they would overcome it together.

After all, if he gave up in the face of adversity…

That would be truly slothful.

Deep within Subaru's soul, an old friend was given new life. A Guiding Hand burst out of his chest, stopping Rem's flail in its tracks. Forest-green, like Shaula's eyes, and bursting with her immeasurable strength; the Guiding Hand slammed the flail into the ground, forming a crater at the point of impact.

Rem's horn was out, so she barely registered the lack of a weapon. She darted towards Al, desperate to harm the one who hurt her friend, but a second Guiding Hand pinned her down.

Al stepped forward, his weapon raised, but two more Guiding Hands lifted him into the air by the throat.

"Stop," Subaru whispered, but it echoed across the now-silent courtyard. "Please. No more fighting."

With that, he lost consciousness… and found himself in another place.

The Shadow Garden.

He been here before. Sometimes when he slept or when he was unconscious, but it was always there. He just had to reach for it.

He had no body, no legs to walk with, but he moved forward. In front of him, sitting on a chair, was a white-haired boy around ten years of age.

Subaru had no mouth, but the words came forth. "Hey. Been a while."

The boy turned to Subaru, his eyes bright. "Hello," he said airily. "How is my vessel doing?"

"I'd be doing better if you didn't refer to me as your vessel," Subaru grumbled good-naturedly.

"Well, it would be weird if I called your soul my 'home,' especially when my real home is right…" The boy waved his finger slowly yet erratically, finally landing on his heart. "…here."

Subaru chuckled nervously. "You have _no idea_ how creepy that is, coming from you."

Golden eyes gleamed mischievously back at him. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said as he waved a hand dismissively. "We can talk later. After all, you're here for someone else, aren't you?"

"…Yeah. Guess I am."

Subaru once hated the being before him. It had taken the form of an angry man, insane and delusional. It would scream and rage, haunting Subaru's dreams, and even some of his waking moments.

But one day, when everything was being taken from him, Subaru realized that what little he had was all he needed. He had Emilia and Beatrice at his side. Even when Subaru lost his memories and they were _clearly_ in pain, they were there. Unwaveringly. Unconditionally.

He had an older sister in Ram and younger ones in Petra and Meili. He had older brothers in Reinhard and Julius (that one was the hardest to admit) and a younger one in Garfiel. He had a best friend in Otto, and motivation in Rem.

Subaru held nothing in his hands, but his heart had everything he could ever want, and he wanted to share that love with the world.

After that revelation, the angry being reverted to that of a child. He was no longer angry, for he had no need to be. His father had poor earnings but would always save money to buy him gifts. His mother complained often, but only after making sure that others weren't troubled. He had brothers that looked out for him. He was filled with love, and he had love to give.

The child had no greed.

"See you around… Regulus."

The shadows wrapped around Subaru, granting him legs. He used them to walk forward, and came across a blonde child, no more than five years old. She ran towards him as fast as her little legs would allow.

"Subaru!" she called out happily. Her laughter was unrestrained and joyful. "Look what I found!"

He had no eyes, but he looked and saw a butterfly cradled in her delicate fingers. The shadows granted him hands, and he used them to ruffle her hair. "That's incredible!" he said, genuinely happy. "I bet you find all kinds of cool things in this place."

The girl jumped up and down, doing a little dance. Her ruby eyes gleamed in delight and admiration. "Yep, but nothing is as cool as Subaru!" she cheered. "You should come back to play more often!"

She was kind, pure, innocent, and sweet. This was the age before she had any malicious thoughts towards another, let alone a lustful one. He had never seen the girl in any other state, for he had long ago learned to see past his own lust, choosing instead to love the True Face that lied beneath.

"I will. I promise," he said with a wink, and she giggled. "I'll visit soon, Capella."

She flashed a toothy grin and skipped away, presumably to go play with Regulus.

Lust and Purity. Gluttony and Temperance. Greed and Charity. Sloth and Diligence. Wrath and Forgiveness. Envy and Admiration. Pride and Humility.

The Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Heavenly Virtues. Just as one personality trait can shift from one to another, so can a Witch Factor.

Sometimes, one can find a balance between the two, creating… something else. Something pure. Something that would not go to another if Subaru died.

The shadows granted him a torso, and he strode towards his next destination: a woman of unspeakable beauty and unending sorrow.

" _I love you I love you I love you I love you"_

Bearing the visage of his imprisoned wife, the demon before him tried to drown him in her love. Part of him was tempted to submit.

" _I love you I love you I love you I love you"_

Even if he were to fall into temptation, it would all be for naught. This wasn't Satella or even the Witch of Envy. It was merely his mind's manifestation of her Sin.

" _I love you I love you I love you I love you"_

The effects of the Witch Factors still afflicted Satella to this day, but Envy was no longer hers alone. Subaru would need to overcome it to save her.

" _I love you I love you I love you I love you"_

But he said nothing.

The shadows granted him a face and lips, and she used it to kiss him, softly. He did not kiss her back, for this was not the soul he loved.

The Witch Factor of Envy disappeared into the shadows, leaving him with a full body. He stretched his fingers and creaked his neck, for it wasn't often he could experience such a thing in the Shadow Garden.

Slowly, deliberately, he turned to face the fourth and final being. A Witch Factor that screamed louder than Regulus ever could. An untamable Authority, causing endless pain upon usage. A mess of a man, trembling and crying as he begged for the Witch's love.

The manifestation of the Witch Factor of Sloth, bearing the visage of a twisted Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti, was missing. Instead, there was a quiet, introspective man, smiling fondly at his old teacher.

Subaru gave a casual wave. "Hey, Geuse. It's been a while."

Geuse bowed respectfully as he said, "It is an honor to see you again, Master Flugel."

Subaru rolled his eyes at the alias. "None of that. It's just Subaru."

"As you wish, Master Just Subaru," said Geuse with a straight face.

With a chuckle, Subaru muttered, "I hope the real Geuse isn't this much of a pain."

There was no bite in his words. Just fondness and relief at seeing his friend sane and healthy. Then:

"I'm sorry."  
"My apologies."

They looked at each other in surprise. "The hell are _you_ sorry for?" Subaru asked incredulously.

Geuse looked down in shame. "I failed in my duty. I broke my vow and absorbed the Witch Factor that was meant for you. I was truly slothful."

Subaru flinched and quickly said, "If you're actually sorry, then please, _never_ say those words again."

Geuse smiled thinly. "I see. Then how about, 'I should have been more diligent'?"

"That's –" Subaru shook his head to clear it. "Look, you have no reason to be sorry."

"Is that so?" Geuse challenged bitterly. "The blood of _thousands_ is on my hands."

"And on mine," Subaru shot back. "You wouldn't have been in your situation if not for me."

"Perhaps," Geuse conceded, "but the same could be said for you. It's not your fault."

Narrowing his eyes, Subaru stubbornly declared, "It became my fault the moment I took the devil's hand."

There was a brief lull in the conversation as the two men ruminated on their mistakes. Then, finally, Subaru asked, "What took so long?"

Geuse gave him a look that said, "You'll need to be a bit clearer."

Running a hand through his hair, Subaru pointed out, "Invisible Providence was utterly useless compared to the Unseen Hand. Even when I stopped being lazy, the Witch Factor didn't change." Looking at the man he once thought of as his best friend, he asked, "Why didn't you change like Capella and Regulus? Why change now?"

Geuse didn't answer directly, choosing instead to say, "You are smarter than you think, Master. The answer is within your grasp."

Subaru frowned. He did know the answer, but it was painful to admit.

When one absorbed a Witch Factor, one of three things could happen.

One: You're not compatible with the Sin. As a result, you obtain some form of insanity and a powerful Authority. Satella and Geuse were prime examples.

Two: You're compatible with the Sin and you accept it as part of yourself, showing no desire to change. As a result, you keep your sanity but still obtain the Authority. Someone like Sekhmet was always slothful, and she merely gained an ability that she was too lazy to use.

Three: You're compatible with the Sin, but you don't accept it. You're willing to change and become a better person. As such, the Witch Factor changes with you, becoming stronger as you change for the better.

The only known instance of that was Subaru Natsuki.

There was a time when he wanted everything. Power, women, recognition… His avarice held no bounds. Through many trials and tribulations, he learned to resist his greed. Sure, he still _wanted_ things – unbearably so, at times – but he was happy with what he had and he wanted to share that joy with others.

As Subaru came to that realization, the spirit of Regulus reverted to a child, and the Witch Factor of Greed became… something else. It was the Witch Factor, but it wasn't. It was uncorrupted, pure, for he no longer let it control his life.

When Subaru first fell for Emilia, he didn't _know_ her. He knew her looks, and how she made his body feel. He lusted after her and nothing more.

Over time, he came to see that she wasn't an object. She wasn't a doll, built to give him cute looks whenever he wanted. She wasn't the end goal of the protagonist. She was kind, forgiving, selfless, strong, reliable, earnest, loyal, and honest. She was _Emilia_ , and he loved her.

Of course, he still lusted after her, but it was now a symptom of his love for her. It was healthy, chaste, pure. So, when the Witch Factor of Lust came into his body, it had already become… something else.

Subaru was once envious of everything around him. He envied Reinhard's strength, Julius's honor, Emilia's kindness, Otto's shrewdness, and Rem's loyalty. Now, he accepted and loved them for their virtues, despite his inability to match them.

…But he was still envious.

He envied everyone with a family. Everyone with children of their own.

He loved Beatrice. He really, truly did. She was his daughter, and she meant the world to him. But… she was relatively unchanged from the day she was born.

He loved Shaula. He hated himself for what he did to her, and he didn't deserve her love, but he still viewed her as his own. But… Shaula was fully grown within three days.

He loved Meili as his own, but... after what he did to her, he had no right to feel that way.

Subaru wanted children of his own. A baby to hold, to love. To watch their first steps and hear their first word. He wanted to bear witness to every single milestone.

He and Satella had wistfully spoken of such moments, but it always ended in tears. They would never have that, for they were cowards, controlled by their fear. All they could do was cry as they spent lonely nights in the mansion.

And so, the Witch Factor of Envy held firm.

Then there was sloth. It was a sin that Subaru was intimately familiar with. He was once a shut-in that slept until noon, then went back to sleep. He didn't go to school. He didn't work. Even when his life was upended and he was sent to Lugunica, he expected everything to be handed to him due to his mere _presence_ in the world. However, he learned to work hard. He pushed through countless challenges and came out on top.

Even so, he remained slothful. The Witch Factor held firm… until mere moments ago.

"The Deadly Sins come in many forms," Subaru began slowly. "When taking in a Witch Factor with the intent to purify it, one must overcome one specific aspect of the corresponding sin. So, I can be greedy but can overcome the Witch Factor. I can become less slothful, yet the Witch Factor would still hold firm." He eyed Geuse carefully. "Am I right so far?"

Geuse bowed his head slightly. "I only know what you know, Master Subaru. After all, I am merely your mind's representation of the Witch Factor of Sloth."

"You say that, but that was the most Geuse-like answer I've ever heard," he grumbled good-naturedly before letting out a sigh. This was the part he was most uncomfortable with, but he was unafraid to show humility.

With careful consideration of his words, he said, "To be slothful is to give up… and I had given up on life."

He tried to save them, but he almost destroyed them. Sloth truly was a Deadly Sin.

Gazing at him critically, Geuse asked, "What about now?"

Now, Return by Death was no longer an option. Subaru wouldn't _let_ it become one.

Holding his head high, he declared, "I won't give up on _anything_. Not on my goals, nor on life."

That was a promise to those he cherished: Emilia, Satella, Beatrice, and _his_ Rem.

And… maybe himself, too.

"I will always believe that some things are worth dying for, but there's a difference between sacrificing yourself to save a loved one and giving up on life while you still have a reason to live."

With a fond smile, he admitted, "Every day, I find new memories to live for. As such, I will push forward."

Because of his resolution, the Witch Factor of Sloth had become… something else. Something pure. It was still the Witch Factor, but it held none of the corrupting influences that made them so deadly.

His Authority was not Invisible Providence, draining his Od upon every use. It was not the Unseen Hand, dictating his life from the shadows. Instead, he had Guiding Hand, gently pushing him forward through strife. The world would see what drove him to success.

Cor Leonis. True Face. Guiding Hand. When Subaru died, his Authorities would not go to another. The Witch Factors would die with him, freeing the world of their influence.

"To meet strife head-on and come out on top… That's what it means to be Subaru Natsuki."

That's what it meant to be diligent.

Sharing one last smile with his old friend, Subaru closed his eyes…

…and opened them in the real world.

' _An unfamiliar ceiling,'_ he idly noted. _'Not Reinhard's or Crusch's.'_

The bed was large and plush, so it wasn't an inn. Did Al let them stay over? Priscilla must have thrown a fit.

Were Emilia and Beatrice okay? Hell, was _Rem_ okay? There's no way she'd willingly stay with a potential Sin Archbishop, but she'd _never_ leave Subaru alone with one, either. Somehow, Al must have convinced her that he wasn't their enemy, or at least got her to agree to a truce.

The dawn crept through the window. So, he'd slept almost an entire day. They'd have to leave to fight the White Whale that night. He had missed some valuable preparation time, but he often went into battle unprepared, so he was okay with that.

A flash of silver caught his eye, and he looked down to find a gorgeous half-elf cuddling with him, sleeping with her head on his chest. Warmth flowed through him as he realized that Emilia must have refused to leave his side.

He brushed some stray hairs out of her face, gently coaxing her to wake. Part of it was that he wanted to know what happened, but he mainly wanted to see those amethyst eyes he loved so much.

They fluttered open, eyelashes covering bleary irises. Unfocused, she looked in his general direction and murmured, "Um… Hi."

He smiled softly. "Hey."

She looked around, confounded. "What's… Huh? Where am… I don't… I'm sooo sleepy…"

"Heh, you always were bad at waking up," he said fondly.

She drowsily reached a finger up and placed it on his lips. "Shh… Five more minutes, Subaru," she mumbled. She began to lay back down before her head shot up, her eyes wide as saucers. "Subaru! You're okay!"

"Yeah, I'm – Mmph?!"

She darted forward and smashed her lips to his, desperately trying to get as close as possible. She threaded her fingers through his hair, and he wrapped his arms around her back, deepening the kiss. She gave a light gasp as his tongue met hers, and he reveled in the new sensation. She eagerly dove in, giddy at the thought of exploring such unknown, forbidden territory.

He was surprised at the sudden display of affection, but he was _not_ about to complain. _'Maybe I should get injured more often,'_ he thought with amusement. Then again, this wasn't the only time she had acted in such a way.

After the Royal Selection, their emotions were running on overdrive, and they went back to Reinhard's mansion immediately. She had slammed the bedroom door shut and pinned him to the wall with inhuman strength, kissing him like she never had before. It was incredible, intoxicating. He had never felt such _warmth_.

She had pulled back to tell him how much she loved him. She knew how hard it was to talk about Shaula; he didn't have to do that, but he _did_. She appreciated her knight more than he would ever know. She told him that he was the best thing that ever happened to her.

He had drowned in her love, her gratitude, and he reciprocated every drop. He made sure she knew that she was so brave, so strong. He was so proud of her. He was the luckiest man in the world.

They had kissed before, yes, but it was _nothing_ compared to that wonderful night. He didn't know anyone, let alone Emilia, was capable of such raw emotion, and he loved her for it.

Now, she attacked his lips with reckless abandon, like she had thought she'd never get this chance again. Their tongues danced around each other as they battled for dominance, each stubbornly refusing to give up until the other submitted.

Subaru was used to Satella's kisses, which were gentle, graceful, and soft. They exuded love and trust, and they attacked his heart with their purity. His soul ached for the sheer amount of love that the slightest touch of her lips bestowed upon him. Even the cold touch of the Witch was not enough to drive away those memories.

But this energy, this _passion_ , was something he'd never experienced in either of his lives. He was filled with a fire that lit up his entire body as their hearts melded together. This was purely _Emilia_ , and he never wanted it to end. He wanted to spend his life with her, and he would never, _ever_ give her up.

Choosing one or the other? Don't make him laugh. He'd find a way to save them both, for he was _done_ with giving up.

Her soft hands moved from one place to the next: squeezing his biceps, stroking his cheek, and twirling a lock of hair around her finger. Everything she loved doing but thought she'd never do again.

She wanted more, _desired_ more. They both knew that. Still, despite her need, she was careful to not take things _too_ far.

' _Baby steps,'_ she reminded herself. _'He's not ready yet.'_

That was fine. As long as he was by her side, she would wait for him. She would help him overcome the scars of his past.

He drew circles on her back as loose strands of silver hair tickled his face. She was warm, unbearably so, but the feeling of her bare legs moving against his sent shivers down his spine. His heart raced as his thoughts ran a mile a minute, trying to figure out what he did to deserve her. Their lips and bodies moved in tandem as she melded into him. Her lungs screamed for air, but her heart begged for more. She was so warm, so happy, so full of love and _life._

He could feel her fighting off a smile. Neither wished to break the kiss, but it was a losing battle. Soon, he was also grinning, and they pulled back, laughing at nothing.

It was exhilarating, being in love.

Her porcelain skin was a bright red as her chest heaved, trying to make up for all the lost oxygen. Her silver hair was a mess and she wore a dopey grin on her face. Her amethyst eyes were filled with wonder as if she couldn't believe how lucky she was.

He'd never seen a more beautiful sight. No matter what happened in the future, he would remember this moment. It truly was a memory worth living for.

She held herself up by her elbows as she looked down at him with lidded eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered. "I was worried about you."

He laughed. "You said that exact line a few months ago, and all I got was a hug." With twinkling eyes, he teased, "I gotta say, I love the upgrade."

"Dummy," she said fondly.

He reached out to cup her cheek. "I love you, Emilia. I'm glad I'm here."

Her smile widened. "Mhm. I love you, too. I know there's a lot to discuss today, what with everything that just happened, but…"

"Yeah. I'd like to stay here a little longer, too."

The kiss she gifted him with was yet another new sensation; it was tender, sweet, and hopeful for the future. It said, _"If I have you, I can overcome anything."_

Subaru may be under an unfamiliar ceiling, but he was home.


	21. The Day Reality Shattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiance for shattering my reality when I met her.

Priscilla Barielle was a woman who respected her heritage, and that was reflected in her mansion's design. Not only was the Vollachian royal emblem plastered on every piece of furniture, but _everything_ was red. Emilia couldn't help but wonder if it was merely Vollachia's preferred color or if it represented their warlike tendencies.

She still couldn't believe that Priscilla gave the Emilia Camp permission to stay overnight. The redhead's hatred of half-elves was quite typical, all things considered.

After all, it wasn't like Emilia's speech had swayed everyone.

 _"I do not want them here,"_ Priscilla had snarled. _"_ _I will_ not _tolerate_ _the presence of a_ Witch _."_

 _"C'mon, Princess,"_ Al had pleaded with her. _"Just look at them! They're like… cute, lost puppies."_

 _"That excuse shall not work a third time!"_ As if to prove her point, she tossed them a disparaging glance. She then paused as if listening to something, eventually saying with great reluctance, _"However, I shall let them stay. Deep within my soul, a voice is crying out that they remain here, by my side."_

He tilted his head and slowly pointed out, _"That sounds kinda like a hallucination, Princess."_

She waved him off. _"'Tis the voice of my luck. Therefore, they shall stay."_ Then, a moment later, _"And it's_ not _because they look like puppies!"_

She demanded they leave by morning before turning on her heel and marching into her quarters. However, the morning came and went, and instead of gracefully showing them the exit, Al found himself staring down three furious women who were demanding either answers or his blood. Perhaps both.

Emilia didn't view herself as a vengeful person, but Al was potentially a Sin Archbishop of the Witch's Cult. To Emilia, he was another villain, just like Capella or Regulus. She eyed him like a hawk as if daring him to make a single wrong move. The moment he did, she would unleash the full might of the Witch of Frost.

He hurt the man she loved, and that was _inexcusable_.

Rem gripped her flail as she glared at Al, and Emilia could have sworn her icy-blue eyes were glowing with rage. She knew the maid cared about Subaru but was surprised at the extent. Then again, there _were_ a few instances where Rem looked at Subaru for a bit _too_ long…

Emilia shook her head to clear it. She had enough competition over her boyfriend to add a cute maid to the equation, but it wasn't the time to think of her messy love life.

Then there was Beatrice: the girl whose reason to live was Subaru. The poor child was as devastated as Emilia – perhaps even more so – when Subaru was hurt and needed to be physically restrained to stop her from attacking Al. Still, that didn't prevent her from threatening the man all throughout the night. It was unknown if Al received a wink of sleep while under the watchful eye of a vengeful Beatrice.

She was a Great Spirit. If she needed to go a night without rest to protect her precious contractor, so be it.

Currently, she was hovering a shadow spear in the one place a man does _not_ want to be risked, and it was clear that Al was painfully aware of it. It inched ever closer and sweat dribbled down his neck. She was tempted to let it go purely out of spite.

Subaru, on the other hand, was happily shoving his head in the space between Emilia and Rem's necks, chatting incessantly. He was blabbering to Al about "ahnimay" and "monguh," whatever those meant. Emilia knew he was in a good mood because of her… enthusiastic greeting that morning, but this was borderline insanity.

Once again, it was up to Emilia to rein in her knight. She cleared her throat, causing Subaru and Al to look at her, though Beatrice and Rem didn't move at all.

"I believe we have some things to discuss," she said, barely maintaining her diplomatic façade.

Subaru kept smiling. "I know you're upset –"

"That's one way to phrase it."

"– but I'm excited, you know?" He indicated to Al and said, "He and I… We're from the same place."

Her mouth dried up. Subaru _never_ talked about his home. She knew nothing about his life before they met, but the memories clearly hurt him.

She wanted to know more. Where was this mysterious place? What was it like? What was his family like? Did he look like his parents? Did he get along with his siblings? Did he _have_ siblings?

She knew none of these things. Whenever the topic was brought up, he looked… lonely. Guilty. Homesick. She loathed the way he crumpled in on himself when the topic of his family or homeland was brought up.

They often had nightmares about their past. So, back at the mansion, they'd make their way to each other's rooms – Subaru had adjusted Door Crossing so she could enter the Forbidden Library whenever she wanted – and simply… talked. Sometimes they spoke about her discrimination as a half-elf, Guese's descent into insanity, or Fortuna's gruesome death. Sometimes, they talked about Subaru's life as the Sage or tried to figure out the messy circumstances of their relationship. Sometimes, he vaguely referenced a child that he viewed as his own, but everything went wrong. He couldn't say more, apparently, but the mere thought of her seemed to hurt him like Shaula did.

But once, out of nowhere, he had said, _"I miss them."_

" _Who?"_ Emilia asked gently, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. She absentmindedly wiped off some of her tears as she awaited his response.

" _My parents,"_ he whispered. _"I never realized how much I took them for granted until I had a life without them."_

He wouldn't tell her what it meant.

Not couldn't. Wouldn't.

The day they met, he had told her that his homeland was an unreachable island to the east, saying, _"Once you're summoned here, you can't go back alive."_ It was the first time she truly realized how much pain he was in, and how hard he tried to mask it with a smile.

Perhaps it would be okay to let him and Al converse for a little while longer.

Beatrice seemed to disagree. "We can discuss your homeland later, I suppose," she ground out. "My contractor almost died, and this _Cultist_ caused it, in fact."

Al gave a sigh of annoyance. "Dude, I'm _not_ a Cultist."

"But you're involved in Subaru's pain," Rem hissed. Mana sparked around her as she barely prevented her horn from coming out. "Am I correct?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, maybe?" he said, a bit sheepishly. "This hasn't ever happened before."

Emilia took a deep breath as her frustration returned. "I don't understand what's going on," she admitted, "so why don't you tell us what happened? From your perspective, that is."

He was quiet for a moment as he sorted through his thoughts. "We were fighting," he explained slowly. "I was about to lose, so my power activated, sending me back to before the fight started."

Her breath hitched. Such a foe would be impossible to defeat. In an effort to distract herself from the implications, she asked, "How did Subaru get hurt?"

"I don't fully understand," Al admitted. "I'm normally the only person who remembers…"

' _Meaning he can identify our attack patterns and come up with the perfect strategy,'_ she realized. _'To battle him is an exercise in futility… and we wouldn't even know it.'_

She couldn't decide whether to be impressed or horrified. Such a monstrous, terrifying power.

"…but for some reason," Al was saying, "Subaru saw it all."

Subaru nodded. "I have a theory as to why, but they're somewhat nebulous."

"Fancy way to say you have a secret and can't tell me," Al quipped.

"No idea what you're talking about," Subaru said airily, fooling nobody.

They couldn't see it, but Al gave off the distinct impression that he was rolling his eyes underneath his helmet. "At least give us your 'theory.' Can't just leave a bro hanging like that."

Subaru's eyes flicked to Emilia: a silent request from a knight to his liege. Normally, she would have laughed off such a request – he could do whatever he wanted, after all – but this was a precarious situation.

She inclined her head as her face said it all. _"I trust your judgment. You take the reins."_

His request granted, he carefully said, "Your ability has a similar origin to mine, and they don't play well together."

At that, Al's entire demeanor shifted. "So, the thing we were talking about before… You think I actually…"

At Subaru's nod of confirmation, the armored man let go of all levity. Greatly disturbed, Al said, "So, I have a Witch Factor… After discovering my ability, I had my suspicions about it but had no confirmation. Or maybe she –"

He held out his hand, clenching and unclenching his fist. He gave off the distinct aura of a man who suddenly despised his own body above all else. "Perhaps I was merely in denial," he muttered bitterly.

As if unsure of what to do from then on out, he asked, "What Authority did you use? Greed or Lust?" At Subaru's raised eyebrows, he pointed out, "Your Camp killed those two Archbishops, and you're the one leading the conversation. Clearly, you're the one who bears the Authorities."

Subaru couldn't fault that logic, so he confirmed, "Greed. It lets me take on the burdens of my allies."

Normally, Al would make a joke like, "Aw, you view me as an ally? I'm touched." Instead, he continued looking down at himself with disdain.

"I see," he murmured distantly. "Our Authorities clashed and mine won."

"You can certainly think of it that way," Subaru conceded. "All sins are born from Pride. It's only natural that it would hold some jurisdiction over the others."

They let that sink in for a moment. Judging from the flow of the conversation, it seemed they were only half-correct about Al; he had a Witch Factor but wasn't a Cultist. So, that begged the question: "Why were we fighting?" Cocking her head, Emilia pointed out, "You two seem to get along reeaally well."

Subaru jumped in, quickly saying, "It's my fault. I thought he was Pride, so I attacked him."

"But you were using Cor Leonis," she reminded him, "meaning one of _us_ was fighting."

' _And Rem tried attacking him while Beatrice and I went to heal you,'_ was left unsaid.

Emilia didn't _want_ to blame Rem. She liked Rem.

Rem, however, hated herself with a passion.

"I'm sorry!" Rem cried out. She shook slightly as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "It was me, wasn't it? I'm the only one impulsive enough to attack you from a misunderstanding! Because of that, Subaru was –"

Al held his hands out in a placating gesture, quickly saying, "Hey, none of that. I treated the situation far too lightly, didn't flat-out deny your accusation, and said some things that sounded terrible without context." He reached out to pat her shoulder before pulling his arm back as if realizing that could only end in disaster. "I talked about someone I shouldn't know, and you thought I was a stalker."

Rem clenched her fists, though her anger was directed solely inwards. "That doesn't matter," she insisted. "Subaru has taught me that sometimes, people know things they shouldn't, but that doesn't make them evil."

She took a shuddering breath before meeting Al's eyes, whispering, "From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry."

Al was quiet for a moment before chuckling. "It's so strange," he mused, "seeing Ram's face with such a gentle demeanor."

Her eyes widened as she tensed, but her flail did not appear in her hands. "You know Sister?" she asked lowly.

He leaned back, drowning in memories. "It felt like so long ago," he murmured, uncharacteristically serious. "Only two years, but time has no meaning when facing a monster such as _her_."

Rem's eyes grew cold, but she did not attack. "Sister is _not_ a monster," she spat.

He tilted his head as he quietly asked, "Who said I was talking about Ram?"

She furrowed her eyebrows, asking, "Then who?"

The room grew cold as if preparing itself for the utterance of such a wretched name. With revulsion, Al spoke:

"Pandora."

Emilia clenched her fists as hate – cold, burning hatred – flowed through her. She knew that _Witch_ was still alive, but to hear that dreadful name…

Lost in an unthinkable past, Al was unaware of Emilia's tumultuous thoughts. "The battle was a thousand to one," he reminisced. "Our side had everything: the demon tribe of the mountains, the Divine Generals of Vollachia, the war monks of Gusteko, the King's selection of the Lugunican Royal Guard, and our leader."

He took a rattling breath, echoing around in his helmet and passing over them like the ghosts of the battlefield. "Standing opposite our army was a beast in human form. Bearing a smile to seduce the divine and a form to make the devil tremble, she decimated our armies with childlike glee."

They could not see his eyes, but they knew that unspeakable grief would reflect off them. "When one of our men fell, she would resurrect them as a mindless soldier for her cause. That day, I lost every one of my brothers, twice; many by my own hand.

"After only an hour of fighting, our forces whittled down to me… and our leader." He clenched his fists, saying, "She was the youngest of us at only sixteen, but we would follow her unconditionally, for she was the incarnation of our god."

"God?" Rem asked, her face pale. "You mean like the Oni God?"

"I know of no other gods in this world," he said wryly. "Then again, there are the four great spirits and the Od Laguna, but they never took as active a role as the Oni God."

"But the Oni God has been missing for centuries," she pointed out, "and it was worshipped by an extinct tribe. What you're saying isn't possible."

"You can believe what you want," he said dismissively, but there was an undercurrent of frustration hiding within. "I was there. I lived through it. I struck down the reanimated corpse of my best friend. I'd say that battle was pretty damn real."

At that, Rem had nothing to say.

"Our god struck down that _thing_ with ease," he continued, "but it refused to stay dead. Her Authority of Vainglory allowed her to rewrite reality as she saw fit, even after she had died."

Emilia had seen that power first-hand. _"Just die,"_ she had said in a flat voice as the ice raged around her. In the end, Pandora merely stood there, for she had never perished.

"Eventually, her power waned," Al was saying. "Her Authority requires both will and concentration, and if either faltered, she could not use it." They could hear a smirk in his voice. " _No one_ could face down an angry Ram and feel anything but disheartened."

Rem narrowed her eyes but did not attack. "Enough games," she said angrily. "I've been with Sister since the day we were born. She and I have worked for Lord Roswaal since we were twelve, and she's led no such army. None of this happened!"

"You're right," he conceded, completely unapologetic. "It didn't happen. Not one bit of it."

Her flail did not appear, but she inched closer as if daring him to reveal his true colors. "You admit to lying?" she asked dangerously. He shook his head and her anger intensified. "You're making no sense! What are you saying?!"

His voice was flat as he told her, "Two years ago, you didn't exist."

Her entire body shook in anger, but her weapon did not manifest itself. She couldn't attack, _wouldn't_ attack. That would just hurt Subaru.

Unwilling to act nor process the sheer ridiculousness of what she was hearing, she grabbed her face in her hands and let out a sound of frustration. A single tear rolled down her cheek. Then another, and yet another. Soon, she began to cry for the first time in years.

A moment later, her eyes widened as a pair of warm arms surrounded her. She couldn't remember the last time she had been hugged by anyone but her sister, and even that was somewhat rare.

"It's okay, Rem," Subaru said softly into her ear. "We're all right here. Just hear him out, okay?"

She half-heartedly tried to wriggle out of his grip. "He's spreading lies about Sister!" she cried as a decade of pain rolled down her cheeks. "She did nothing wrong! She fought so hard to save our village, and he's claiming that none of that happened! Sister is Sister, not the Oni God! She's… She's just my…"

He tucked her into his chest and allowed her to break down. _'She'd never opened up to anyone in this timeline,'_ he realized.

He now understood why he once died for merely mentioning Ram.

"All of that _did_ happen," he assured her. "But the stuff Al said _also_ happened."

He winced at his pathetic attempt at comfort. It was nothing compared to what she once did for him. This girl – this sweet, wonderful young woman – had brought him back from the depths of despair. Her confession was memorized, burned into his soul.

 _She_ was the reason he was alive. _She_ was the reason the White Whale and Sloth were killed. _She_ was the reason that Regulus died, Sirius was captured, and the Great Rabbit was defeated. Everything happened because _she_ let him begin anew.

At that moment, holding her in his arms, he felt _his_ Rem, and he felt like the biggest piece of shit. Not because he loved her; that was a distant pang, fading to a fond memory. No, it was because he was looking at her and seeing someone else.

…Or was he?

Her kind heart and unwavering loyalty. Her deft fingers as she accomplished any task with ease and the incredible strength she displayed in battle. Her sensitivity to other people's pain while neglecting her own. The teasing girl who encouraged him to never give up and who protected him with her life.

That was _his_ Rem, but it was also the girl in his arms. Was _his_ Rem… right here this whole time?

As she clung to his chest and let the tears fall, he realized that she was.

' _I'm sorry, Rem,'_ he thought remorsefully. _'I'm sorry for always looking past you, but I promise to_ never _do that again.'_

How arrogant he must be to think that _his_ Rem was defined by her love for him. She deserved to be treated better than that.

She sniffled in his arms but appeared to have calmed at his touch. "Neither of you are making any sense," she mumbled impatiently. "Sister was always with me. There was no war."

"You're forgetting something," he said quietly. "We're dealing with Pandora."

At her name, the room seemed to chill.

Authorities were the antithesis of the Od Laguna, wreaking havoc on the world and bending it to their will. Each holder of a specific Witch Factor manifested a different Authority, but none were more devastating than those used by the Witches of Sin.

The Authority of Lust, Faceless Bride, dictated the rise and fall of empires.  
The Authority of Gluttony, Unending Hunger, drove men to eat themselves.  
The Authority of Sloth, Unseen Hand, subdued Volcanica with ease.  
The Authority of Greed, Wisdom's Eye, granted the user omniscience if they chose to use it.  
The Authority of Wrath, Healing Halo, saved a man while destroying a city.  
The Authority of Pride, Divine Retribution, punished sinners for their crimes.  
The Authority of Melancholy, Gravity Bind, crushed a target under the weight of a thousand suns.  
The Authority of Envy, World's Collapse, brought darkness to the land as millions perished.

Each ability ravaged the land and its people, but all their users were either sealed or killed… except for one.

"To bend reality to your will. To erase your own death. To rewrite history and create a perfect future. To establish absolute control over your foes. If you are bound by the Od Laguna, you are merely the plaything of a monster. Such is the power of Pandora and her Authority of Vainglory, Shatter Reality."

Subaru let that sink in before jerking his head towards Al. "I take it that's what she used against you and Ram?"

Al nodded grimly. "We had her subdued, but suddenly, I was standing outside a gladiator pit in Vollachia."

He paused for a moment, remembering the shock of waking up in an unfamiliar world. "No one worshipped the Oni God, no one heard of Pandora or Ram, and the demon tribe of the mountains was wiped out. I did some digging and found out that some creep named Roswaal had hired Ram as a maid, as well as a twin that she didn't have before."

Emilia wanted to shout, to cry, _anything_ to deny his words, but couldn't. She had seen such power first-hand.

Rem wasn't handling it much better. _'A copy. A blight. A parasite. I exist to ruin Sister's life.'_

She always thought that she stole her sister's horn, that she was born to ruin Ram's life. She never realized how right she was until that moment, and it shattered her to pieces.

An inferior, blue-haired version of Ram. That's all she was.

"I thought I was going crazy," Al continued, oblivious to their thoughts. The only remnants of my old life were my missing arm and the burns on my face, inflicted on me by the corpse of my best friend. With nothing else to do. I became a fighter in the gladiator pit. With the sudden unexplained ability to, you know, not lose a fight, I soon became the top fighter."

Subaru let a wry smile cross his features. "Sounds like someone cheated," he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"Hey, man, you would use it too, if you had that kind of power," Al shot back, a bit of his typical levity returning.

Subaru gave a pained grimace before covering it up with a smirk.

Beatrice, who had remained quiet up until that moment, spoke up. "Then how did you get here, I wonder?"

"There was a tournament," Al explained, "and I was a gladiator. I entered on a whim, won, and now I work for Priscilla."

She paused as if waiting for him to continue. Then, she incredulously said, "That's it, I wonder? You fight a war alongside a god – one who _lives with me_ – and your story ends with a tournament, I suppose?"

He shook his head. "No, it ends with me working for an adorable Vollachian tsundere."

She groaned in existential pain. "Not another Subaru, I suppose!"

Ignoring the spirit's outburst, Subaru put a finger to his chin in thought. "Don't you think it's a bit… convenient?"

Al tilted his head in confusion. "What's convenient?"

"Just that Priscilla…" He cut himself off as the lady herself entered the room with a scowl. "…is a lovely woman who is most generous for letting us stay."

Priscilla ignored Subaru, turned to Al, and kicked him to the floor. "Why are they still here?" she asked furiously. "They were supposed to be gone before I could see them!"

"You could close your eyes," Al pointed out helpfully from the ground and was promptly assaulted again.

"Lady Priscilla," Subaru interjected, adopting his formal façade. "You are quite the lucky woman, are you not?"

She huffed but answered anyway. "From the day I was born, everything had gone my way, for the world is built to serve me."

He nodded, saying, "I see. So, would you say anything bound by the Od Laguna is subject to your whim?"

"That was in my Royal Selection speech, was it not?" she responded flippantly. "Are you done? Your drivel annoys me."

He looked troubled but wiped it off his face. "Considering everything I've just learned," he said slowly, "I don't think your 'luck' is your own."

She raised her eyebrows, intrigued. "You have my attention, peasant."

His eye twitched but he let the comment slide. "I have this… ability," he said, being careful to not give the actual title, lest she kill him where he stood, "that lets me detect and remove external influences. If you could just let me check –"

A haughty laugh filled the room. "You think I would let a _peasant_ into my mind?" she asked incredulously. "You interest me, but I will not let you sully my essence with your backwater origins. Who knows what kind of perverted intentions you may have?"

"None at all," he assured her. "I'm merely trying to remove a Witch's influence from you."

She stopped short. Disbelievingly, she asked, "You're claiming that the Jealous Witch has taken some kind of interest in me?"

At that, he couldn't help but quip, "The Witch of Envy is obsessed with one person, and it's not you." Then, once again becoming serious, he said, "I'm referring to a much more dangerous entity."

She gaped, thrown off-kilter by such a statement. "Blasphemy," she seethed. "There is nothing more dangerous than the Witch of Envy."

"In terms of raw power, that's true," he conceded. "However, power isn't the only thing to give one an advantage. After all, the Sage defeated the Witch of Envy in single combat."

The occupants of the room jumped a bit. That certainly wasn't part of the history books, but he stated it as fact.

Emilia couldn't help but wonder if Subaru had been downplaying his past self's strength even more than she originally thought. _'For someone who always wants to impress me,'_ she mused, _'he sure doesn't tell me about all the amazing things he did.'_

Oblivious to their reactions, or perhaps uncaring, Subaru continued, saying, "The Witch of _Vainglory_ , on the other hand, roams free, for she can undo her own death. I believe part of her essence resides inside of you, so you should consider accepting my help."

For a moment, it looked like Priscilla would refuse again, but despite her temper, she was a shrewd woman. "Fine," she grumbled, sitting down on a nearby armchair and crossing her legs with a scowl. "Make it quick, _boy_."

"Not sure if that's any better than 'peasant,'" he muttered. He turned to Emilia, saying, "I'll need your help."

She nodded nervously, unsure of what she could do. The kind of power she had used against Pandora… She still hadn't unlocked it. "I don't think I'm strong enough," she admitted quietly, "but I'll do anything you ask."

He sent a small smile her way. "It's nothing extravagant. Just keep me calm, all right?"

She breathed a sigh of relief. He merely needed help maintaining his trance. That was doable. Considering what he might be about to face, she couldn't fault him.

The Authority of Lust, True Face, allowed Subaru to remove outside influences so long as he remained tranquil. It could also remove mental blocks, like the ones on Emilia's memory, as well as bring people to their natural state.

Emilia had been under its effects twice: the first to turn her back into a human, and the second to unlock her past. After that, she felt… different. Older. More mature. Her actions and feelings felt more nuanced. For the first time, she had felt like she fit into her own skin; before that, she was merely a child puppeteering a grown woman's body.

Despite its incredible powers, True Face had its limits; it couldn't bring back Ram's horn, for example. Still, it might be able to remove a Witch Factor, though that was obviously untested.

' _Soon,'_ she reminded herself. _'We'll be able to test it in a few days.'_

Still, it was odd; Subaru had no idea how to use True Face in such a way. He reversed Capella's Authority, yes, but removing a Witch Factor was an entirely different achievement.

" _I can do it,"_ he had said confidently. _"I'll understand how when the time comes."_

He hardly ever boasted in such a manner, but she trusted him. He'd be able to help Juice; she was sure of it.

Subaru knelt before Priscilla, gently grabbing onto her hands. She flinched a bit but didn't let go. "I will do everything I can to avoid your memories," he told her softly. "I won't make a promise I can't keep, but I swear, I won't intentionally peep on something I shouldn't."

She nodded slowly but didn't make a biting remark. Whether it was because she wanted to get it over with as soon as possible or she was beginning to trust him, she didn't know.

Emilia sat beside Subaru as he fell into a trance. Almost immediately, his eye twitched, and she rubbed his back, soothing him.

She could do this. She was always able to calm him down during his panic attacks.

Her sharp eyes noticed his tense shoulders, and she wrapped her arms around him, humming a little tune as she did so. She was an abominable singer, as she was completely tone-deaf. However, humming a simple lullaby that Mother Fortuna used to sing was well within her skill set. Luckily, it fulfilled its purpose, and he relaxed.

A minute passed uneventfully. Beatrice gazed warily at Al; she was willing to cooperate with the man, but the image of her contractor writhing in pain was burned into her mind. Rem was lost in thought, but it was obvious that she was upset. Al was… Well, it wasn't easy to tell what he was feeling with that helmet of his, but it was unlikely that he was thrilled.

The entire time, Emilia didn't take her eyes off Subaru. For the slightest instant, his breath hitched, and she whispered sweet nothings into his ear as she stroked his hair. For a moment, she worried that it would not be enough, but his breathing evened out and a peaceful smile stretched across his lips.

Sometime later, he opened his eyes, suddenly looking worse for wear. "What did you see?" she asked, impatience creeping into her voice. "Did you remove Pandora's influence?"

Instead of answering, he gently placed a hand on her thigh, gratitude in her eyes. "I couldn't have done that without you," he said tiredly. Turning to Priscilla, he ordered, "Play rock-paper-scissors with me."

Priscilla looked at him like he'd gone insane. Slowly, she asked, "You infiltrate my mind in search of a Witch, and now you want to play… a game." At his unrepentant nod, she huffed, aloofly saying, "Sure, why not? Three, two, one!"

She threw scissors. He threw rock.

"Good job," she said drily. "The child has shown that he can make a fist. You can leave my estate now."

Subaru, on the other hand, was grinning; all exhaustion had fled in favor of joy. "This is amazing!" he cried. "I won a game against Priscilla!"

Her face twisted in annoyance. "You're wasting my time, _peasant,_ " she said with maximum disdain. Clearly, she had lost interest in him. "Leave. Now."

He shook his head, saying, "Don't you see? I won a luck-based game against the woman of infallible luck!"

For a moment, there was silence. Then, _furious_ that he took away her greatest asset, she aimed a kick at his head –

Only to be stopped by a multi-colored shield.

"If you touch my contractor," Beatrice threatened, hovering a shadow spear at Priscilla's throat, "you will not take another breath, I suppose."

"Back away, child. That _peasant_ ," Priscilla spat with twice as much venom as before, "came in here with a crackpot theory, but it was merely a façade to take away my incredible luck! This is political sabotage!"

Subaru looked slightly annoyed at the accusation, but it was rapidly being replaced by rage and fear, for a new fighter had entered the fray. Like a wind chime in a summer breeze, the devil itself spoke:

"My, what a lovely little gathering this is!"

A woman of unspeakable beauty appeared in front of them. Sapphire eyes like the finest of crystals. Porcelain skin like ivory, covered by a thin cloth and nothing more. A delicate figure, to shatter like glass at the slightest touch. Platinum hair, sleek as the moon.

None of them had ever met a beast as _hideous_ as Pandora.

Al drew his sword and adopted a ready position, despite knowing it was in vain. "Begone, _monster_ ," he snarled. "You're not welcome in this place."

Pandora smiled innocently. "My dear Aldebaran," she murmured, her gentle voice carried by an unseen wind. "How's the Witch Factor I gave you?"

His fears confirmed, Al gripped his weapon tighter as if disgusted with his own body. Even so, he said nothing, nor did he make any other movements. Perhaps he was no longer able to.

Her focus turned towards Subaru as her entire demeanor shifted. Her eyes raked his figure up and down, making him shiver. "You look different, my treasured one," she murmured as she gazed at him hungrily. "Shame that you still have those nasty, ugly eyes."

With lust unbefitting her stature, she shamelessly announced, "But what those eyes reveal… I could die a happy woman if only I were to lose myself in their depths!"

"You look the same," he shot back. He wanted to push her away but he was immobilized, just like everyone else. "An abomination in human skin. I can't wait to strangle you with your own intestines."

She lit up at the thought, excitedly saying, "Then let us do battle once again, my treasured one! Kill me, slaughter me, take me, make me yours!"

"I want nothing more than to bash your face in," he ground out, "but there's no use wasting my spirit's mana on a beast that won't stay dead."

The insult seemed to excite her further. She stepped forward with desire in her eyes as she stroked his cheek with a single, dainty finger. With barely concealed terror, he once again experienced the Witch's Touch, this time without his old body to protect him.

Physical contact with Pandora was a harrowing experience. Her cold, spindly fingers danced across his face, scarring him more than Capella's knife ever could. It dug into his skin and assaulted his soul. It crawled into his heart and embedded itself in his memories.

"Get away from me, you freak," he snarled, hating how his voice wavered.

"You wound me, my treasured one," she said with a mocking glint in her eyes. "I want to shatter your spine as much as you do mine, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little _fun_ together."

She tugged on his collar, reveling in the control she possessed. She would give it all up for a moment alone with him. "I can be whatever you want," she flirted, batting her eyelashes as she did so. "You like lolis, right? I can be your little sister, your daughter, even your captive. I can be your little plaything, your doll. Bind me, whip me, anything for your lovely soul, my treasured one!"

With her hand around his throat, looking like she wanted nothing more than to strangle him, she said, "Speaking of daughters and their dolls… This action seems familiar, does it not?" She smirked at his flinch, taking pride in her absolute control over his emotions. "That look you gave her, full of glee… You're truly a man after my own heart. What a pair we would make!"

His face twisted in utter revulsion – the only physical action he could take aside from speaking. "You're insane," he spat. "To this day, I don't know if you want to murder me or molest me."

Her eyes danced with mirth. "Perhaps a bit of both," she admitted, dragging her index finger down his chest. She drew little circles around his heart as if trying to dig it out and crush it. "Perhaps the proper word is 'subjugate.' Your soul… I can't get enough of it. Now that you don't have that former body of yours to get in the way…"

She gave a sultry smile as she confessed her twisted love: "It's intoxicating. Delectable. _Exciting_. Perhaps, given enough time, I will forgive you for your transgressions."

"You're delusional," he growled. "I could _never_ forgive a monster like you."

"You will, my treasured one," she said softly, confidently. "One of these times, it _will_ work, and I _will_ make you mine."

He wanted to ask what she meant by that, but he could no longer speak.

Her attention turned to Emilia as wonder filled her gaze. Reverence, terror, and need shone from the Witch as she looked at the half-being before her.

"My, oh, my, you have grown up quite nicely," she said flirtatiously, not permitting a response of any kind. Exactly how she liked her prey. "You were _slightly_ too young for my taste when we last met, my princess, but now…"

She ran her fingers through Emilia's silver hair with parted lips. "Such long, luscious locks," she said softly, trembling with glee. "A lovely, pale face. A lithe, enticing figure, just _begging_ to be devoured. Most importantly, those gorgeous eyes…"

Those eyes were _hers_ to control. They enthralled her, terrified her. Perfect as they were.

The Sorceress and the Sage… Oh, what a joy it would be to have them fall into her arms!

However, if she were forced to choose, she knew who she wanted above all else.

"Exquisite skin," she murmured, slowly running her hand up Emilia's side. The half-being couldn't even tremble in fear as she felt the Witch's Touch for the first time. "Soft. Delectable. Is it as sweet as it looks? If only… Ah."

There, above Emilia's bosom. Perfect, exposed, creamy flesh. Pandora laid her ear flush against it, purring like a kitten. "Your heartbeat is a beautiful song," she mewled. She inhaled deeply as if trying to smell the soul within. "You are truly precious, my princess. The love of the world, bequeathed upon this stunning young lady."

From her place on Emilia's chest, Pandora's lidded blue eyes gazed at amethyst as she whimpered, "Don't you see why I must make you mine?"

Her lips began to quiver as tears leaked out of her eyes. She had to know, _needed_ to know…

"Do you taste as good as your other half?"

With a hand laid gently on the half-being's cheek and the other on her waist, Pandora inched her way forward, intent on capturing those pink lips with her own. The soul, the love, her fulfillment, it was _so close –_

" _Don't touch her_ _!"_

A Guiding Hand, the same green as the Scorpion's eyes and filled with her indomitable strength, smashed into Pandora's temple. She collapsed to the floor as her skull cracked in two. Her snow-white cloth, covered in her blood and brain matter, splayed about her prone body. Out of sheer spite, a second Guiding Hand fell from above and crushed her abdomen, squashing her flat and sending her intestines flying.

She was dead.

Less than a second later, she appeared before them, whole and healthy. There was no burst of power or spatial distortion. It simply never happened.

Pandora gazed at Subaru in awe and fury, for he had once again managed to break through her Authority. These feelings, deep within her belly… This was the fulfillment she was searching for, she was sure of it.

She hated him. She wanted to become one with him. He would be hers, forever.

Before he could attack again, she immobilized him. She would need to focus more if she wanted to keep him restrained. Wrapping her power around him, she guaranteed that he would no longer be able to break free; not as he was now, of course.

Even so, perhaps it was best to satisfy her desires later.

Turning to Priscilla, she gave a gentle smile and relinquished her control over the Vollachian princess. "How wonderful to see you," she greeted kindly, like a mother to her daughter. "You don't remember me, but that's fine. Perhaps I'll let you remember this time. I'm in a good mood, after all."

A sword of divine light – the Yang Sword of Vollachia – appeared in Priscilla's hands. She pointed it at Pandora with a scowl. "I demand that you leave my estate, _Witch_ ," she said haughtily. "Your presence is sullying these sacred halls."

Pandora didn't move.

With a mighty swing of the Yang Sword, her head was lopped off. A moment later, she stood whole before them, for she had not been decapitated moments prior. She clucked her tongue, saying, "There's no need for violence, child."

Over and over, Priscilla decapitated the Witch of Vainglory, but the latter's Sin would not allow it. Even with the power of the Yang Sword – the symbol of the rightful ruler of Vollachia – Pandora would not fall.

A dozen attempts later, the Witch smiled slyly. "Are you done?" she asked lightly. "I merely wanted to give you a gift, especially after it was haphazardly thrown away."

"I'll accept no gifts from a _Witch_ ," Priscilla said with hatred. She swung her Yang Sword yet again, but before it could connect, it disappeared out of her hands. She tried to hide her panic behind a lofty grin, but none were fooled.

"Oh, but you have," Pandora cooed. "Your so-called luck is merely an illusion. It's simply a piece of my essence guiding you to victory."

Suddenly immobilized, Priscilla could do nothing but scowl and angrily say, "The world is built for my success. 'Tis not the work of a _Witch_."

"Oh, but it is." With a sly smile, Pandora emphatically said, "How you win every competition. How no one can defy you. How rich men throw themselves at your feet just to die and leave everything to you.

"That's me. Pandora."

Priscilla could find no deceit in those sapphire eyes. At a loss for words, she simply asked, "Why?"

Why give her this power? Why her?

Pandora's expression did not falter. "To make you the queen of course," she said like it was obvious. "You're _clearly_ the best choice."

For a time, Priscilla was silent. Then, with confidence in her voice, she declared:

"I, Priscilla Barielle, hereby withdraw from the Royal Selection."

If the others could have gasped, they would have. Why would _Priscilla_ , the most egotistical candidate, give up her bid to power so easily?

To Al, it was obvious, for they were more alike than they would admit. She wanted to remove all traces of Witches from her life, even if it meant giving up her goals, abilities, and safety.

Unfazed, Pandora told her, "I'm afraid I cannot let that happen."

"And why not?" Priscilla asked with a scowl. "You may prevent my movements, but you cannot control what I say, lest you plan to leave me mute and lame."

Pandora's eyes twinkled. "Is that so?" she asked airily. "I think you misunderstand who you're talking to. I'm the Witch of _Vainglory_."

Vanagloria. Vanity. Excessive pride. Extreme belief in oneself. One of the forgotten Deadly Sins, said to be the progenitor of Envy.

However, Vainglory used to have another meaning: futility. To struggle in vain against the inevitable.

"If you try to drop out," she said calmly, "I will control you from the inside. Every word, action, and thought will be mine."

She leaned in, inches away from Priscilla's face. With her rapid, shallow breaths causing the princess to tremble in fear and disgust, the Witch said, "If you resist me, I will _become_ you."

Cold, unforgiving lips surrounded Priscilla's, pulling and biting as if trying to tear them off. Pandora's dark essence spewed forth from her writhing tongue, crawling down the redhead's throat. It embedded itself within her wildly pulsating heart and latched onto her soul. Moments after the violation, Pandora vanished, for she had never been there to begin with.

The moment Pandora disappeared, everyone unfroze. Subaru darted to Emilia, wrapping her in a hug as she let the tears fall. Brokenly, she whispered, "S-Subaru, she…"

"I know," he soothed. He didn't want to say it aloud, either. "I'm here now. I'm right here."

She barely managed to nod into his chest before breaking down again. She couldn't stop thinking of the Witch's Touch and those horrid, cold fingers on her skin.

She already had nightmares about Pandora. She didn't need this, too.

She burrowed herself deeper into Subaru's arms, soaking up his warmth. She needed it to drive out the cold. She needed warmth, needed _him_.

' _Breathe,'_ she told herself. _'In, out. In, out. She's gone. You're okay. Everyone's okay.'_

She'd be okay. She was stronger than this. She clenched her eyes shut, letting happy thoughts overwrite the bad ones.

" _How do I get it out of my head?"_ she had once asked Subaru. It was the dead of night and she had made her way into the Forbidden Library, curling up against him in bed as she bawled. _"Every time I close my eyes, I see them dying, and I can't do anything about it!"_

Half-asleep and partially unaware of his surroundings, he pulled her close and murmured, _"Why not think of something else?"_

Objectively, it was horrible advice. It was like looking at a burning building and calmly saying, "Put it out." To be fair, he probably thought that he was dreaming – he was typically more soothing – and she didn't have the heart to disturb him further than she already had. So, at a complete loss, she tried to just… think of something else.

…It worked. Eventually, her breathing had evened out and her tears slowed to a crawl. Perhaps thinking happy thoughts really was a valid coping skill, even if it sounded so… simple.

When Mother Fortuna's bloody body appeared in her mind, she thought of all the times the two had cuddled.

When Father Juice absorbed the Witch Factor and went insane, she'd instead remind herself of all the books he gave her and the funny words he taught her to say.

When Pandora brought Regulus and the Black Serpent, she pictured the games she'd play with Arch.

Now, as she relived the Witch's Touch and Pandora's attempted assault, she thought of her first kiss. She thought of the future and what awaited her. Slowly but surely, she began to relax.

As Subaru held her, a soft hand patted his leg, grabbing his attention. He looked down to find Beatrice with sorrow in her eyes. Quietly, the spirit apologized, "Betty is sorry for being useless, I suppose."

"There was nothing you could do," he reminded her gently. "That was part of the Authority of Vainglory. It's futile to struggle against it."

"Subaru still did something, in fact." Her voice was not bitter, nor was it resentful. It was merely a statement. "Betty had never seen a power like that before yesterday, yet you commanded mastery over it while I was immobile, I suppose."

"Miss Beatrice, if I may," interjected Rem. While Pandora did not pay her any mind, she was still shaken by the revelations from earlier. Still, she would keep it together – she had already bothered them enough. "I am not a spiritualist myself, but I happen to know two of them, so I've noticed a few things."

The typical bite was missing, but Beatrice managed a bit of annoyance as she said, "Get on with it, I suppose."

Gently, Rem pointed out, "Spirits and contractors are partners. The spirit often provides the power, yes, but it's just as important that the contractor protects the spirit." She managed a small smile, saying, "It's okay for your Subaru to protect his Betty, right?"

Beatrice was quiet for a moment. At length, she muttered, "Only Bubby, Betty, and her Subaru can use that name, I suppose."

However, she seemed more at ease, and that was enough for the meantime.

Eventually, Emilia pulled back from Subaru with a quiet, "I'm okay."

Caressing her cheek, he asked, "Are you sure? If you want to talk privately, we can –"

She shook her head. "I mean it. I promised to be strong, remember?"

"Yeah, but… are you _sure_ you're okay?" he asked waveringly. It wasn't natural to recover so fast after experiencing the Witch's Touch. Hell, he wasn't sure _he_ was okay, and Pandora didn't even try to kiss him this time.

"Mhm. I'm sure," she affirmed quietly. "This is nothing compared to being turned into a rat. It's just another experience to make me stronger."

He wasn't sure whether to feel impressed at her attitude or horrified at what he had put her through.

He wondered if she was hiding the pain. Perhaps she didn't understand it and was still in shock. What if it just hadn't hit her fully yet? Would he be able to help her through it while he was still struggling?

He knew she wasn't lying and that her emotions were stable – Cor Leonis proved it – but how was she okay while he was still reeling? Was he _that_ pathetic?

As if reading his thoughts, she told him, "My brave knight protected me from a Witch. If anything, I'm feeling magnificent."

"No one talks like that, Emilia-tan."

As he watched her smile at the familiar banter, he couldn't help but marvel at how strong she'd become. She really did keep her promises, didn't she?

Leaning in to whisper in his ear, she admitted, "I'm more worried about you. Are you okay?"

' _She made me want to vomit. My body feels cold. I need to wash her disgusting Touch off me or I might break.'_

And these strange images that were assaulting him, overwhelming him… There was too much to process, and it was giving him a massive headache.

So, naturally, he assured her, "I'm okay. Nothing that some quality Emilia Therapy won't fix."

She didn't seem to believe him entirely – he hated how well she was able to see through him, especially these last few weeks – but let it slide for now. Biting her lip, as if unsure she wanted to know the answer, she asked, "Back then… did she ever…"

"No," he said strongly. At least, not _that_ far.

In his last life, Pandora had been exceptionally creepy and had most certainly touched him inappropriately, but it wasn't much different to what she had done moments prior. He was fortunate enough to have never had _that_ kind of experience with her. What Echidna had done made physical intimacy hard enough; he didn't know what he'd do if Pandora had forced herself upon him.

"You don't have to worry," he said wryly. "I'm still Subaru Natsuki, Virgin Extraordinaire."

"Good," Emilia said firmly yet quietly. She gave him a quick peck on the lips, reminding him, "After all, _I'm_ supposed to be your first."

He pulled away and coughed, trying to force down the blush on his face. He did _not_ expect to hear something like that, and _especially_ not at that moment. Seriously, who says that _right after being molested?!_

Then again, maybe that was why she was okay; she had the promise of a positive experience to overwrite a negative one.

To think this was the same girl who, four months ago, thought that kissing made babies. Then again, he had also used True Face on her; along with breaking Pandora's memory seal, it seemed to fix her mental age. She was still the same girl, of course; she was simply better at understanding her feelings.

Well, that, and she now made constant innuendos and was the tiniest bit possessive. He had _no idea_ how to handle that. Last time, he was the one that flirted at inappropriate times, not Emilia!

He would miss his pure, innocent EMT… but _damn_ , he was in love with his flirty Emma.

Subaru and Emilia may have recovered somewhat, but that didn't apply to everyone. On the other side of the room, Priscilla was still reeling from the assault. Not even her ex-husband – disgusting pervert that he was – had tried to violate her in such a way.

Al tried to comfort her, but she shoved him away. She didn't want arms around her, no one could touch her, no one could go _near_ her! _She would not be violated anymore!_

Violated. Violated. Violated. The word reverberated through her mind as she clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palm. Powerless. Disgust. Dirty. She couldn't move, and those frozen hands, those slimy lips, that _thing_ crawling down her throat… It was wrong, wrong, so wrong. She felt, dirty, unclean, _dirty, nasty, despicable, dirty, worthless, VIOLATED –_

Priscilla Barielle, the rightful heir to the Vollachian throne, fell to her knees and screamed in rage.

"I want her dead!" she screeched. Her Yang Sword appeared in her hands, for it was no longer being blocked by the Authority of Vainglory. Like a child in a tantrum, she threw it at the wall, embedding it to the hilt. "I will not be controlled! I am Priscilla Barielle, not a Witch's puppet! _I want her dead!_ "

Another image… no, another _memory_ came over Subaru, and he decided to interrupt. "We want her dead, too," he stated. "The Emilia Camp _will_ kill her, but knowing what we know now, it seems we need your help."

Priscilla glared at him with fire in her eyes. "I will _never_ help you," she seethed. " _None of this_ would have happened if you never came here."

He bowed his head. He knew that what he was about to say was cruel, but the end justified the means. "I understand. Ignorance is bliss. I should have left you unaware of your status as the puppet of a Witch." With a long-suffering sigh, he began to leave, saying, "Let's go, everyone. We have more important places to be than at the side of Pandora's plaything."

With raised eyebrows at his terminology, the Emilia Camp followed him without a word, but a reluctant "wait" from Priscilla stopped them. He turned around and raised an eyebrow, asking, "Yes?"

She hesitated before grounding out, "What do you need from me?"

With that, they began to plan.

The Sorceress and the Sage would be avenged.


	22. The Frost Maiden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my fiancé for being a real cutie. I'm lucky to have you.

_The Sorceress and the Sage moved from town to town, offering their services as healers. Due to their reputation and actions, they were always welcomed, but they denied any gifts. Room and board were more than enough._

_Still, they found themselves taking a myriad of roles. They gave lectures on magic, trained platoons of soldiers, and eliminated nearby monster threats. Lives were changed at the nod of a head. Governments rose and reformed from off-hand suggestions. It was overwhelming and nonsensical, but it was better than the blatant discrimination they used to face._

_Sometimes, they returned home, either to the mansion or the Tower, but Satella loved to travel._ "This world is beautiful _," she would tell Subaru._ "I want to see it all."

_If it meant seeing that look of wonder again, he'd move heaven and earth to let her take another step._

_Right now, they were heading to the city of Flanders. It was a rocky road – quite literally – but the city was suffering from an emergency, and Satella was not one to ignore a cry for help. Subaru would have once been on the same wavelength as her, but right now, he wished for nothing more than to be safe at home._

_Blinking the setting sun out of his eyes, he wrapped an arm around his wife, keeping her steady. With a worried expression, he stated, "You're tired again."_

_"I am fine," she insisted, but her wavering steps belied her fatigue._

_He didn't buy it for a moment._ _"If you were fine, we would have teleported. As it stands, you can barely walk, let alone perform magic."_

_They'd been through this song and dance before. It always ended in a fight._

_"Do not concern yourself over me," she said aloofly. "A moment's reprieve shall be enough."_

_"That's_ not _enough, and you know it," he said with a scowl. "At least let me call Minerva."_

_She tensed and whipped around, eyes blazing furiously. "I refuse to do that again!"_

_He frowned at her stubbornness. "Why not?"_

_Exasperated, she cried out, "A child_ perished _when Minerva healed me!"_

_He waved her off, dismissively saying, "That's just how her Authority works. I'm honestly surprised it was only one kid and not a whole village."_

_She gaped at him, her eyes wide with horror. As if she had never seen him before, she uttered, "How could you say that with such levity?"_

_He tilted his head in confusion. He didn't see the problem. "Well, you ended up okay, right? That's enough for me."_

_She stepped back, covering her mouth in shock. "I don't believe this," she breathed. "Do you truly have such little regard for others? Is your kindness a façade? Are your words mere platitudes, sent to silence us?"_

_He narrowed his eyes in annoyance. She acted like they hadn't had nearly-identical conversations before. "I care about other people," he insisted angrily. "Do you think I'm faking it around Shaula? Guese? Daphne?"_

_Her eyes lowered in shame. "N-no, but –"_

_"But I will_ always _put you first," he snarled. Why was that so hard to understand? "The world can go to hell if it gives me another day by your side."_

_She was silent for a moment before taking a shaky breath. With sorrow in her eyes, she asked, "What has become of you, Subaru? Where is the kind, wonderful man I married?"_

_An animalistic growl threatened to escape him. That man was weak. He had let countless horrors befall his beloved, and as such, needed to be killed. In his place stood the Sage: the one who would save the Sorceress from her sorrows._

_Let the world burn. Let cinders and ash fall from the skies. Let shadows descend upon the land. As long as he saved her, he wouldn't give a shit about the consequences._

_Quickly losing patience with her lack of understanding, he sternly spoke:_ _"I'm just looking out for you, Ella."_

_She closed her eyes with a pained grimace. Resigned and quiet, she said, "You're right. I apologize for my lack of faith, my love… You've always watched over me, haven't you?"_

_Crystal tears slipped through the cracks of her eyelids, and he reeled back. That wasn't… because of_ him, _was it? Gulping down the sudden flush of insecurity, he managed to say, "Always. I'd do anything to keep you alive."_

_Bloodshot, violet eyes fluttered open. Bitterly, she asked, "Even if that includes a twisted mockery of a soul merge?"_

_He paled at her words. She had seen his notes. Scrambling to salvage the situation, he quickly said, "Look, The Ordeal is just –"_

_"'Tis murder," she said scathingly. "Trading one life for another."_

_He couldn't refute that. He just didn't think that mattered. She would be safe, right?_

… _But she wouldn't be happy, and neither would he._

_In a rare moment of lucidity, he realized just how low he had sunk. Hanging his head, he muttered, "I don't know what came over me when I created that ritual. I'm sorry, Ella."_

" _An apology is insufficient," she said sharply. "I need you to prove that you won't_ ever _attempt The Ordeal."_

_Immediately after she said that he earnestly declared, "I promise that I will never attempt The Ordeal."_

_That would have worked if he were the man she married. However, that man would_ never _conceive a plot to murder a child, even if it were to save his wife. So, she told him, "I cannot risk it. Such a thing would be…"_

_She trailed off, the idea unthinkable. At length, she resolutely said, "Let us form a contract."_

_He nodded quickly and held out his hand, firmly grasping hers. He'd do anything if only to wipe that look off her face. "I swear on the Od Laguna that I will never attempt The Ordeal."_

_With a sigh of relief, she said, "Thank you," and tried to pull away, but he didn't let her._

_His eyes blazed with determination as he added, "I swear on the Od Laguna that I will save you."_

_She searched his eyes before letting herself smile. Her husband was somewhere in there, and moments like this were proof._

_There was one more stipulation she would add, for it was inevitable either way. Vocalizing the same way she did with her vows, she spoke: "I swear on the Od Laguna that I will always love you. In this life and the next, our souls will find one another."_

_With a smile, he pulled her in and sealed their contract with a kiss. She eagerly returned it, content with the knowledge that they would always be together._

_The alien soul of a man utterly loathed by the world.  
The fractured soul of a woman deeply loved by the world.  
The half-soul of a sleeping child with silver hair and amethyst eyes: the first of a bloodline that would last hundreds of years._

_The Od Laguna shone with life, binding the souls in a contract that transcended death itself._

* * *

It was evening when the Emilia Camp left Priscilla's Mansion. The stormy clouds matched their tumultuous thoughts as they thought of the Witch of Vainglory. Even so, they had hope. A real, solid foundation for a plan lay ahead of them. In the end, Pandora would fall to their might.

Because of their encounter, they were stronger. More vigilant. More mature. More vengeful.

They entered as fighters. They left as warriors.

But now was not the time to muse, for their next task was finally at hand. They made their way to Crusch Karsten's manor in silence; it had only been about a week, but it felt like an eternity since they planned the attack on the White Whale.

Subaru couldn't help but think that, for all that things changed, they stayed the same. Reinhard didn't help them defeat Elsa, but he showed up to save them anyway. Meili didn't attack with the mabeasts, but he still had a life-threatening encounter in the same forest clearing. He went to accompany Emilia to the Royal Selection as a knight, but he still ended up on death's door. Emilia and Beatrice were with him, but he and Rem were still about to fight the White Whale.

There was a poem from his homeland about small changes making large waves; it often played through his head during times like this.

_For want of a nail the shoe was lost.  
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.  
For want of a horse the rider was lost.  
For want of a rider the message was lost.  
For want of a message the battle was lost.  
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.  
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail._

Subaru called bullshit. It didn't matter if he wanted a nail, a bulldozer, or a simple break; so long as people like Roswaal and Pandora drew breath, the world would exist on their desired courses… even if, for some reason, that course involved him standing next to Patrasche in a tracksuit while preparing for battle.

In Crusch's front lawn, dozens of carriages and hundreds of soldiers waited in silence. It had been a while, sure, but he remembered it being louder, chattier.

He also didn't recall everyone gaping at them.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered angrily. "I thought people were starting to become okay with half-elves."

"It's not me they're looking at," Emilia whispered back. "It's you."

He was about to retort before noting that somehow, she was right. The entirety of Crusch's Camp, dozens of Royal Knights, and the Sword Saint himself were staring at Subaru in awe.

Needless to say, he was hopelessly confused.

Wilhelm broke out from the crowd and knelt before Subaru. "Thank you, Sir Subaru," he said reverently. "On behalf of every Lugunican citizen, we thank you."

' _What the fuck is going on?'_ Subaru asked Beatrice in a panic. She had no answer.

"You may not know of my history," Wilhelm continued, oblivious to Subaru's racing thoughts, "but in my younger days, I had an enemy of immeasurable strength. His name was Stride Vollachia, and he was the Sin Archbishop of Pride."

The Sword Demon looked up, his eyes shining in gratitude. "To think that you have eliminated his successor… You have my undying gratitude, Sir Subaru."

Now it was Subaru's turn to gape. "But… I didn't, what? I mean, um –"

Emilia stepped in front of him. "I apologize for my knight," she said with a slight bow. "He is merely unused to such high praise from a man of your station, Sir Wilhelm."

Wilhelm allowed himself a small smile. "Strong, honorable, and humble. An exemplary knight befitting the Frost Maiden."

Her eyes widened. "Frost Maiden," she murmured. She looked to Subaru, but his mind was elsewhere.

' _Where are they getting this idea?'_ he asked Beatrice.

' _It's the Dragon Tablet, I suppose,'_ she realized. _'When one of the Camps accomplishes something great, the rest of Lugunica knows.'_

' _That's great and all,'_ he grouched, _'but I'd like to point out that it's been a week since I've killed a Sin Archbishop.'_

' _What about your dealings with the armored man, I wonder?'_ she asked. _'Perhaps the Dragon Tablet recognized that the Pride Witch Factor was no longer a threat, and that's how it chose to relay that information.'_

Judging by the conversation happening in front of them, it seemed that was the case. Why couldn't the Dragon Tablet have that feature the last time around? It would have been useful when they defeated the Great Rabbit, and no one believed them.

The sudden attention was kind of freaking him out. Knights and warriors of great renown were bowing to him, expressing their gratitude for his achievement. They were all thinking he had some epic battle with a mighty warrior, but he mostly just talked. Sure, yeah, he did some neat stuff with True Face, but he didn't exactly _kill a Sin Archbishop_.

Then again, he crushed Pandora's skull, but apparently, that didn't count as an achievement. Perhaps it did, and she rewrote history to avoid people finding out about her. One could never know for sure.

He reached Crusch and Reinhard who were standing side-by-side. Crusch looked somewhere between amused and in awe. "Three Sin Archbishops and the Bowel Hunter," she said airily. "Between your Camp's accomplishments and one of the candidates being actual royalty, I'm starting to think I have no chance."

Reinhard, ever the gallant knight, gave a smile. "You do yourself a disservice, Lady Crusch," he said amicably. "I may have great faith that my Lady is the best candidate, but I would not be dissatisfied to see you as queen. However, I will admit that our friend here has accomplished quite a bit."

Subaru blushed. "Th-that's –" He shook his head. "As long as the achievements count towards the Emilia Camp as a whole, I'm happy."

Crusch gazed sternly at him. "A word of advice, Sir Subaru: take credit for accomplishments that are yours. To do so establishes your legitimacy as a leader.

He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Pretty sure that advice is more geared towards Emilia. She's the one who's going to be on the throne." At the strange looks he received, he asked, "What? Is there something on my face?"

Reinhard shook his head at Subaru's obliviousness. "It's almost time to go," he pointed out, dodging the question. "I'm honored you asked for my assistance, Subaru."

"I'm glad you're able to come," Subaru said honestly. "I know that it's a bit tough to get permission to go from place to place."

Reinhard grinned. "The name 'Subaru Natsuki, Slayer of Sin Archbishops' certainly gave me a bit of leniency."

Subaru jolted. "Wait, people heard that?" he asked in a panic. If they heard that, then they also heard –

"Heard what?" Reinhard asked, oblivious to Subaru's anxiety. "It's merely an honorable title the citizens of Lugunica have given you because of your victories."

Subaru let out a deep breath. "Oh," he mumbled, too relieved to feel flattered. "Yeah, that's fine."

So, no one heard him gloating to Regulus. On one hand, he had looked awesome, yet it would never be remembered. Shame. On the other hand, he basically confessed his love to a world-ending calamity while admitting to having the Authority of Envy.

He could imagine it now: the masses demanding the execution of the Sin Archbishop of Envy. It was probably for the best that no one knew about it.

He was about to say his goodbyes when Reinhard interrupted him, saying, "Ah, just one last question." The knight looked nervous, which wasn't a look that suited the Sword Saint. "It's the seating arrangements," he explained. "It appears you would like me to partner up with… the Sword Demon."

Subaru raised an eyebrow at Reinhard's wavering voice. "Is Reinhard van Astrea, Lugunica's Mightiest Hero, afraid of his grandfather?" he asked incredulously before flinching at his own inconsiderate behavior.

Luckily, Reinhard was too absorbed in his memories. "It's not that," he insisted. "As much as I would love to speak with him, I fear he doesn't want anything to do with me."

Subaru looked off to where Wilhelm was, finding the older man conversing with one of his comrades from the demi-human war. It seemed that he was only half-interested in the conversation, as he kept glancing over at Reinhard.

Bringing his attention back to Reinhard, Subaru knowingly said, "I'm not so sure about that. I mean, if you don't try it, you'll never know, right?"

Reinhard took a deep breath but nodded in agreement. Before he could walk away, however, Subaru leaned in and whispered, "To make amends with family isn't easy. You're a braver man than Reid ever was." With a pat on the back, he ignored Reinhard's sudden coughing fit and turned back to Crusch. She gave a hearty laugh before looking at him with twinkling eyes.

"You're an odd man, Subaru Natsuki," she said, amused. "You're establishing good relationships between the _other_ camps, not just yours. Some would call that self-destructive."

He grinned, saying, "I call it 'helping out some friends.'"

Eventually, they split up to go to their respective carriages: Crusch with Felix and an armed battalion, and Subaru with Beatrice, Emilia, Rem, and a couple of extra ground dragons. They were in surprisingly high spirits, especially considering they left one monster and were about to fight another.

"'Frost Maiden,'" Emilia bewilderedly muttered as Subaru entered the carriage. "Not 'Witch of Frost.' The monikers are so similar, yet so different."

Subaru raised an eyebrow at her language before realization settled in. "That's what the villagers used to call you, right?"

She nodded. "Mhm. They used to throw stones at me as they shouted that," she said distantly as if it didn't bother her anymore, even though he knew it did. "Now, the public is expressing their faith in a silver-haired half-elf."

He didn't offer any words of comfort because none were needed. He simply wrapped an arm around her waist as she processed everything that was going on.

A moment later, Beatrice tucked herself under his other arm, blushing slightly.

"You look adorable," he teased.

She gave him a withering glare. "Do you want a 'Beako hug' or not?"

He pulled her in with a smile, saying, "Of course I do, you tsundere loli."

" _Those words don't mean anything!"_

He ignored her expected cry of anger as he pulled her in close and prepared himself for the long ride. Of course, they were using Patrasche, so they were far ahead of everyone else.

A few moments later, Emilia piped up, "By the way, Subaru, that power you used against Pandora… Was that Invisible Providence?" She furrowed her brow and rushed to amend her statement. "Um, Visible Providence?"

Subaru chuckled and said, "It's… something else. I call it Guiding Hand."

The name wasn't as cool as something like "Invisible Providence," but it worked. It was a power that would carve a path to the future, guiding him to success.

"It's still the Authority of Sloth," he elaborated, "but it doesn't have a corrupting influence. The only problem is that the hands are visible, so pretty much any knight could easily cut them down."

He got a major power boost, but he was still weaker than everyone else. Go figure.

"Why did it change, I wonder?" asked Beatrice. Always the scholar, that one.

He tightened his grip on her as he fondly said, "Because you both helped me find a reason to live."

With a laugh, Emilia told him, "You're reeaally weird, Subaru. Getting stronger because people are nice to you?" She gave a coquettish grin. "There's never a dull day with you by my side."

Cheekily, he responded, "What can I say? I gotta keep the women of my life entertained."

Beatrice huffed as she grumbled, "More shameless flirting, I suppose? My contractor should –"

Suddenly, she froze. "Subaru," she said flatly. "What is that, I wonder?"

He raised his hands defensively as he managed to say. "I have no idea what you're referring to. I'm just sitting here, hands in the air."

She glanced at his hands and then Emilia, who held up her hands as she struggled to hold in a giggle. With dread, Beatrice slowly looked up…

…to find a green, ethereal hand patting her head.

With the utmost suffering, she deadpanned, "Only my contractor would use a blasphemous power to give a head pat, in fact. Grow up, I suppose."

With that, Subaru and Emilia burst into laughter as a disgruntled Beatrice resigned herself to her fate.

After their laughter died down, Subaru looked to the front of the carriage in concern. Rem would usually make a comment or two, joining in on the teasing.

"I'll be right back," he said to Emilia and Beatrice. "Keep my seat warm for me, Beako."

He plopped himself down in the passenger seat beside Rem, giving her a quick, "Hey."

She gave him the stiffest response he had heard since they became friends. "How may I help you, Sir Subaru?"

He frowned. It was worse than he thought. "Just checking in on my favorite maid," he said lightly.

She tightened her hands on Patrasche's reins, saying, "You are referring to Sister."

He cocked his head to the side as he pointed out, "I mean, Ram's cool and all, but I always liked my Rem-Rem better."

"Do not lie to me," she said coldly. "I have never been Rem. I am merely a blight upon my sister."

He scowled, but it was directed entirely inwards. He should have worked on her identity issues much earlier. "That's not true, and you know it," he shot back. "You're perfect just the way you are."

She refused to look at him, but he could have sworn he saw a tear in her eye. Carefully, as if afraid of breaking the fragile bond between them, she whispered, "Then… why have you never looked at me?"

A lump formed in his throat. "Rem…"

"From the day we met, you've been friendly to me, but you've _never_ seen me; you tried desperately to see a woman behind my eyes and became disappointed every time you failed. I never understood it… until now." She glared at him with a single, icy-blue eye. "When you look at me, you see who my sister is supposed to be, don't you?"

For a moment, he gaped at her. Then, he asked, "How could you be so perceptive yet come to the completely wrong conclusion?"

Her frustration melted into confusion. "I don't understand," she mumbled. "You're Subaru Natsuki. You always know this kind of stuff."

"I'm starting to resent that viewpoint," he grumbled. "Look, I didn't know anything about Ram's alternate self. I know you and your sister, not some Oni God bullshit."

If anything, she looked more confounded. "Then, why do you look at me like that?"

His throat closed in on itself, but he forced himself to take a deep breath. He didn't want to speak of it, but she deserved to know. "There was… someone I once knew," he said slowly. "Someone I was once in love with. She's a huge part of why I'm here today."

" _Show me how awesome you can be, Subaru!"_

"She was incredible in every way. Kind, strong, funny, and a hero. She was flawless at everything she did." With his gaze piercing hers, he said, "You're _exactly_ like her."

For a moment, she searched his eyes for deceit. Then, she stubbornly insisted, "You are mistaken. I cannot be anything like the woman you described."

"That's what I told myself for the longest time," he admitted ruefully. "'No one is like her,' I'd think. 'This girl is just a fake.'"

He flinched at his own words, knowing how close to home they must be hitting, but he pressed on. "As I got to know you, I realized how stupid that was. You're _better_ than her. Stronger, smarter, faster, kinder… You're everything she could have been and more had she not been so attached to me."

Rem died for him. Rem lost her name for him.

 _This_ Rem fought for what she believed in – she didn't mindlessly follow the man who struck her horn.

He looked into her eyes and swore, "When I see you, I don't see the girl I once knew, let alone your sister. I see _Rem_. You're one of my best friends, and I'm damn thankful I met you."

She didn't respond with words, but she eventually gave a small, yet angelic smile.

His breath didn't hitch, and he smiled back.

He slung an arm around her shoulders, saying, "I know what we found out was pretty crazy, but I'm here if you want to talk about it. I have a lot of experience with earth-shattering revelations."

At length, she gave a small, "Okay," and laid her head on his shoulder. For a moment, they simply sat there, but soon, she allowed herself to give in to her tempestuous emotions. Without a word, he cradled the now-crying Rem to his chest, gently running his fingers through her silky hair.

As hot tears soaked his shirt, he realized that he felt… lighter. It was as if his feelings for Rem had held him down, but now they were… something else. They had been tempered into simple companionship, and that was enough to satisfy him.

Eventually, she looked at him with red-rimmed eyes and gave a quiet, "Thank you."

He looked directly at her and said, "Anytime, Rem."

Things weren't perfect, but she seemed to be on the road to recovery.

Sometime later, he looked out into the distance and grinned, indicating for Rem to slow down. Cupping his hands in front of his face, he called out, "Hey, Otto!"

A grey-haired merchant, being pulled by a familiar ground dragon, jolted as their carriage pulled up beside his. "Sir Subaru?!" he yelped. "H-how did you find me?"

Subaru tilted his head, confused. "Find you?" he asked. "What, were you running away from my generous offer?"

"No!" Otto cried, a bit too loudly. "I wasn't running from a stalker who knows my name and dream job!"

Subaru's eyes lit up. "Dream job, huh?" Chuckling at Otto's horrified face, he said, "Don't worry, I'm not a stalker. Think of me as a guardian angel who just wants the best for a good man."

"Guardian angels don't have such scary eyes," Otto grumbled. With a sigh, he admitted, "I'm heading to the Mathers domain to get that job you mentioned. I'd be a fool to turn down an opportunity like that.

He eyed Subaru warily. "I never got to ask, but… why are you being so nice to me?"

Subaru's grin widened. "It's like I said: you're a good man. You deserve a break, and I think you and I could be friends."

"That's great and all," Otto shot back, exasperated, _"but how do you know that?!"_

At Subaru's side, Rem gave a shaky smile, telling the merchant, "Subaru just knows things. You'll get used to it."

Otto's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water before he gave another long-suffering sigh. "You know what? I give up. Sir Subaru probably knows my entire life history."

"I do!" Subaru chirped. "You have the Divine Protection of Soul Language, so you couldn't understand human speech until you were eight-years-old. You had a messy love affair with a nobleman's daughter when you were fifteen. Your nickname was –"

" _Stop!"_ Otto exclaimed, covering his ears. "I get it! Sir Subaru is the god of this world, as omniscient as the Sage! I forever pledge myself to him, so long as he _doesn't say another word!_ "

With that, he rode off at high speeds, leaving a laughing Subaru in his wake.

"That was mean," Emilia scolded as he went back inside. "You should be kinder to strangers."

"That wasn't a stranger," he rebutted. He wrapped an arm around her as he sat down. "He's a nice, but unlucky guy named Otto. And hey, I just turned his life around."

"That's not true, I suppose," said Beatrice. "He now works under Roswaal."

"He works under _Emilia_ ," Subaru corrected. "It's for _her_ Camp."

Emilia shook her head. "He works for you, too. It's as much your Camp as mine," she told him, much to Subaru's confusion.

"Could've sworn Crusch and Reinhard implied something similar." He leaned his head against the wall of the carriage, a bit frustrated. "I don't get that. It's the _Emilia_ Camp, remember? I mean, I wanted to call us 'Subaru and Friends,' but that was shot down."

Beatrice gaped at him, saying with despair, "I knew my contractor was hopeless, but oblivious, too, I wonder?"

Emilia rolled her eyes. "Oblivious, indeed. Why does my boyfriend have to be such a dunderhead?"

"I'm not oblivious!" he defended. "And no one says 'dunderhead' anymore, Emilia-tan."

She gave him a smile that said, "you _are_ oblivious, but I like you anyway."

Not long after, they arrived in front of the Flugel Tree. They were a few minutes ahead of everyone else, so they decided to stretch their legs for a bit.

Subaru gingerly stepped out of the carriage, straining his neck as he tried to see the top of the tree. He could not, of course; not only was it night time, but the clouds blocked the weathered leaves above. Letting his eyes roam over the murky greens and browns, he was struck with a pang when he saw the words, "Flugel was here."

"It's so weird seeing this with context," he mused as he gazed up at the towering tree. He ran his fingers over the bark, marveling at the unnatural texture. "To think I'm responsible for this…"

Emilia walked over and held his other hand, intertwining their fingers together. "Your power was something else," she said fondly. "You always try to downplay it, but it's obvious that you were reeaally strong."

His face fell. "No use praising someone for making a tree when they left the world to burn."

"None of that," she scolded gently as she laid a hand on his cheek, forcing him to face her. "Your wife was dying, and you thought you could save her. Greater men have fallen to less."

He wouldn't meet her eyes. "It doesn't make it okay," he protested weakly.

"It doesn't," she conceded. "Nothing can _justify_ your actions, but they're understandable enough that you're allowed to atone." She raised herself up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "You're a good man, Subaru. You're not like that anymore."

"But what if I was?" he shot back. "What if you saw that side of myself?"

She smiled softly at him. "Then I'll bring back _my_ Subaru, just like I did in Crusch's mansion," she vowed. "I don't care how angry or sad you get. Deep down, you're Subaru Natsuki, and that's what matters."

He didn't know how she could believe such a thing, and he told her as such. In response, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, letting her lips convey the sincerity her words could not.

It's because she loved him unconditionally. Through thick and thin, she would be there for him, because she believed in him.

She didn't love him because she believed in him. She believed in him because she loved him.

He would have loved to stay there with her for a while longer, but the arrival of Crusch's forces interrupted their moment. Hundreds of soldiers stood at attention; both aged and young alike, they all respectfully awaited Crusch's orders.

The lady herself, clad in armor to make the finest of blacksmiths weep, jumped out of the carriage and made her way to Subaru and Emilia.

"Are you ready?" Crusch asked amicably as if they were merely preparing to cook a meal.

"Mhm. Ready as I'll ever be," Emilia responded.

Satisfied, Crusch gave a smug grin, asking, "Now, are you ready to see how a _true_ queen commands her army?"

Without waiting for an answer, she turned to face the waiting crowd. "Soldiers!" she called out, effortlessly gaining the attention of the hundreds present. "Today is a day that will go down in history, for we are taking down an unholy monster."

She paced in front of them, their eyes enraptured by her oration. "You know it as well as I do. The bane of all things living. The Demon Beast of the Mist. The Hakugei. The White Whale." Her eyes flamed with hatred and determination as she shouted, "How many have died to its mighty jaws? How many have been lost in the mist?"

She strode forward and grabbed one of the soldiers by his cuff, bringing him closer to her face. "Do you have a wife?" she asked, loud enough for everyone to hear. Confused, he shook his head. Her face twisted in frustration, as she shouted, "How do you know? How do you know that the White Whale did not swallow her whole, erasing her from your memory? How do you know that your bed is cold at night, not because you are alone, but because a mabeast murdered your wife?!"

She pushed him back in a rage. "All of you have lost brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, parents, and children, _and you don't even remember them!_ " she spat, as it truly dawned on them what they might have missed. "They died, alone and forgotten, because of that beast!"

She tore the sword out of the scabbard and pointed it at our soldiers. "So," she growled lowly, her voice echoing across the valley, "What are we going to do about it?" She narrowed her eyes at the scattered mumblings, crying out, "I said, _what are we going to do about it?_ "

A half-dozen soldiers shouted, "Kill it!"

"That's it?!" Crusch shouted back, twice as loud as the half-dozen soldiers combined. "I thought I brought men, not terrified children! What are we going to do about the White Whale?"

Brave and determined, the entire platoon cheered, "Kill it!"

"Damn right we will," Crusch snarled. Raising her voice, she shouted, "The reign of the White Whale is over!"

Roaring and stomping their feet as one, hundreds of soldiers proudly demonstrated their strength and loyalty.

Off to the side, Subaru leaned to the side and mumbled, "Hey, Emma?"

"Hmm?" she mumbled back, her eyes trained on Crusch's retreating form.

"No offense, but if you weren't a candidate, I would totally vote for Crusch."

"Don't worry," she reassured him, intertwining her fingers with his. "I'd do the exact same."

They were placed at the front alongside Crusch and Reinhard as representatives of their Camp. Subaru and Beatrice were on Patrasche, whereas Rem and Emilia didn't need a ground dragon to move around quickly. Technically, Subaru and Beatrice could teleport, so they didn't _need_ Patrasche, but Beatrice was fairly low on mana. They didn't want to risk her running out.

Their bodies were tense as they anxiously awaited the White Whale's arrival. Everything had been meticulously planned; the Whale followed a specific course, and it was set to be around here at this time. However, getting it to show itself was a challenge in and of itself.

And that's where Subaru came in.

"Hey, Beako?" he whispered. There was no need for anyone else to hear this.

Beatrice sat in front of him, leaning into him for support. "What is it, I wonder?" she asked quietly as she prepared for takeoff. "Don't tell me that Betty's Subaru is chickening out, I suppose."

"None of that." He steeled himself as he muttered, "Just wanted to say that I can Return by D–"

The world stopped, but the Witch's hand did not grasp his heart. The shadows coalesced in front of him to form an angel of unmatched beauty.

An angel who was _very_ disappointed.

The apparition of Satella glared at him, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Subaru began to sweat as he faced her ire, wishing he was capable of speaking. Wait, if he was capable of sweating, then perhaps…

He flexed his jaw. Since when could he move in these situations? Tentatively, he opened his mouth and breathed out a quiet, "Hi."

Her eyes narrowed further. _"'Hi,'"_ she deadpanned. _"You made an attempt on your own life, yet all you can say is 'hi'?"_

Weakly, he defended, "To be fair, I'm not normally allowed to speak, let alone see _you_ instead of the Witch."

Drily, she informed him, _"Envy is incapacitated after watching you and Emilia in the throes of passion."_

He flushed. She was making it sound _far_ more risqué than it actually was.

With the same flat tone, she requested, _"Please do that more often;_ _'tis_ _making my life much easier."_

He couldn't help but chuckle at their ridiculous situation. "There's something _seriously_ wrong with what you just asked me to do."

She scowled. _"Stop treating this with levity!"_ she said angrily. _"You tried to_ kill yourself! _You promised you'd value your life, not stab yourself in the throat!"_

Her eyes watered as her voice dropped. _"Do you know_ _how it_ _feels, to bear witness to your pain whilst unable to act?"_

A lump formed in his throat as he mumbled, "C'mon, Ella…"

 _"'Tis torture,"_ she whispered brokenly. _"We were always there to take away each other's pain, but once again, I_ _was forced to watch my love suffer."_

He shook his head vehemently as he insisted, "None of that. I wouldn't have made it this far if not for you." At her unconvinced look, he added, "Don't forget that you also gave me another reason to live."

She took a shuddering breath, murmuring, _"I'm happy you know what that means again."_ She managed a shaky smile, for she could never stay upset at him for long. _"You_ _were not_ _always_ _afflicted with such anger_ _."_

He averted his eyes. "Was I really?" he asked distantly. "It's hard to remember a time where I wasn't hurting you."

 _"Regret clouds your memories,"_ she explained patiently. _"Do you blame me for your entrapment at Echidna's mansion?"_

He tilted his head in confusion as he pointed out, "I was there willingly, so I wasn't trapped. I just didn't want to leave you."

 _"Which means you were there because of my_ _misguided devotion_ _,"_ she shot back. _"Do not think me oblivious to what she did to you."_

He squirmed a bit. "It's easy to forget that you're always watching," he muttered. "I don't like that you heard me explaining everything to Emilia. I'd be fine with you never knowing."

_'Wait a moment…'_

She was always _watching_ him. She _saw_ him as he explained his scars, which meant that she had _seen_ his scars from this life, too.

A revelation like that should have sent him reeling, hyperventilating. So… why was he still standing? He was uncomfortable, yes, but he was okay. Had something changed about him? Was he numb after his encounter with Pandora?

Or… was he starting to heal?

With a jolt, he pushed that out of his mind as he came to a similar, yet far more dire realization. _'Wait, if she's_ always _watching, then did she –'_

A blushing Satella, realizing what he was thinking, flirtatiously admitted, _"_ Always _watching, my love."_

He wanted nothing more than to groan in embarrassment. That was some much-needed time _alone,_ thank you very much!

He couldn't let her get away with this. He cleared his throat, adopted an angry expression, and pointed dramatically at her. "S-Satella!" he cried in mock horror. "You pervert!"

She reeled back, mortified. _"What? I'm not –"_

"I-it's not like I wanted you to see me or anything! B-baka!"

" _L-look,_ _'tis_ _lonely in –"_ She blinked and, realizing she'd been had, placed her hands on her hips. _"You're teasing me again,"_ she accused.

He gasped dramatically and clutched his chest. "My dear Satella, I have no idea what you're speaking of." A moment later, he paled and looked around wildly. "Time's stopped for _everyone_ , right? Because I basically confessed my love for the Witch of Envy in front of hundreds of people."

She rolled her eyes at his antics. _"Two_ _lifetimes_ _and you_ _remain infantile_ _,"_ she grumbled.

"I resent that," he protested. "I'm the Lolimancer, but I'm not a kid myself."

" _Good,"_ she muttered under her breath. _"My thoughts were sinful enough."_

"Huh?"

"' _Tis nothing_ _,"_ she waved off, a bit _too_ quickly. _"Just… survive this fight, okay?"_

He gave her a thumbs-up, cheerily saying, "Will do! You can count on me!"

" _I always could, my love,"_ she responded with a slight smile. _"Something tells me that the next time you see me, 'twill be at my shrine."_

He couldn't help but grin. "Look at you, Mrs. Positive!"

She gave a small shrug before saying, _"You've convinced me that there's hope for a happy ending."_ She cut him off before he could respond. _"For now, take care of Emilia, all right? She's a good girl."_

He was silent for a moment before shaking his head with a chuckle. "You're one of a kind, Ella," he said fondly. "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

" _Most wouldn't call being in a love triangle lucky_ ," she said wryly _, "especially not one this_ _twisted_ _."_

"I'm lucky because you two approve of each other," he pointed out. "That _never_ happens, ever."

With the smile that always left him breathless, she reminded him, _"'In this life and the next, our souls will find one another.'"_

He couldn't help but match her smile. Whole or half, he loved her. He always would. Mischievously, he said, "You should know better than anyone that I have a thing for silver-haired half-elves."

She laughed. _"I recall your preference, yes. You claimed she had 'advantageous typing.'"_

"That was, like, thirty loops ago," he said dismissively. "I was still treating her as a protagonist's reward, and I didn't know who you were, or even what the Witch looked like. I thought you were just some cute waifu that I was dreaming up."

A moment later, a thought came over him and he hesitantly asked, "Speaking of loops… there's something I need confirmation on."

She looked at him warily, as if knowing what he was going to ask. To be fair, she was probably able to read his thoughts. Evasively, she said, _"_ _'Tis_ _not_ _critical for you to know_ _."_

"Yes, it is," he stressed. "When I die, am I going back in time or traveling to an alternate universe?"

Her gaze pierced his, dissecting him, but she said nothing.

"Please," he begged. "In the Tower, did I leave her behind?"

At the desperate look in his eyes, she relented, muttering, _"'Tis better if you remained unaware, lest you use your power as a tool instead of a failsafe."_ She took a shuddering breath as she remembered his suicides; honestly, he didn't like to think of them, either. Slowly, she told him, _"The Authority of Envy, Return by Death, allows you to go back in time upon reaching your end. There are no alternate universes involved."_

He exhaled deeply as he let his body relax. Just how long had he been holding in that tension for?

That time in the Tower, and the heartbroken look on Emilia's face… That didn't happen. At least, not to her. It was still in his memory, taunting him, but so did all of his other mistakes.

Emilia in his arms, her heart crushed by the Witch of Envy. Beatrice with a knife in her gut, a teary smile on her face. Rem torn to shreds by the Unseen Hands. Shaula with her skull smashed to pieces. Meili strangled to death by Subaru's own hands. Ram and Otto murdered by the Witch Cult.

They were okay. Those he loved could still be saved.

"Thank you, Ella," he murmured. "That's a huge weight off my shoulders."

Satella stepped forward until she was at Patrasche's side and grabbed Subaru's chin in her thin fingers. Sternly, she told him, _"You will_ not _treat this information lightly, my love. Death is death, whether you're leaving others behind or not."_

"My resolution hasn't changed," he asserted, though it was muffled from his squished face. "Please let go; you're freakishly strong."

She relented, dropping her hand from his mouth, but immediately replaced it with her lips.

Cold. Freezing. Death. Despair. The horrors of a million lives being snuffed out by the shadows. Her kisses were supposed to be full of love, of warmth, but he took that away from her.

When she broke away, he managed a wavering smile. "Right in front of Emilia?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood. "You know I'm not into NTR."

A bit possessively, she declared, _"I can kiss my husband whenever I want. Emilia will have to deal."_

His eyes widened and he gave a breathy laugh. "Damn, Ella," he muttered, somewhat ruefully. "I'm not sure I can handle _one_ assertive woman, let alone _two_."

" _Keep it at two,"_ she said sternly. _"I'm more than happy to let you court my other half, but I'm not willing to share you with a harem."_

He blushed and started sputtering, but her finger on his lips silenced him. With her amethyst eyes filled with boundless affection, she told him, _"_ _Just remember that I love you, Subaru Natsuki. You're my whole world, as I am yours."_

"And I love you," he uttered emphatically. "Even when I didn't remember you, I never once stopped loving you, Ella. I promise to come back to you, soon."

His confessions had never been as eloquent as hers, but they always brought a blooming smile to her face. She inclined her head as she declared, _"I will hold you to that, my love."_ Her eyes twinkled as she said, _"But please, do come quickly. As I said, 'tis very lonely in my shrine."_

With that, the shadows gathered around her, leaving a flushed, but laughing Subaru behind.

The world resumed, and the surrounding soldiers looked strangely at him. Beatrice looked up with a frown. "What's so funny, I wonder?" she asked, a bit annoyed. "Betty is trying to take this seriously, in fact."

He wiped his eyes as his chuckles died down. "It's not _that_ funny," he admitted. "Just thinking of something that a cute girl told me."

She reached up and flicked his cheek. "Hmph. My contractor's scandalous escapades continue, I suppose."

"You're still my favorite," he teased, enjoying her blush.

"Save your flirtatious idiocy for someone your own age, I suppose," she grunted. "And before you say it, you are _not_ older than Betty, in fact!"

He _was_ about to say that. So, playing his ultimate trump card, he said, "You're adorable, Beako. I'm glad I'm here."

She huffed and leaned into his chest, mumbling, "Betty is glad her Subaru is here, too."

He wrapped an arm around her and steeled himself for the upcoming battle.

Ahead of them, the mist coalesced, but he wasn't worried anymore. After all, he had done this fight before, and now he had Reinhard on his side. Hell, Beatrice and Emilia would have been enough to turn the tide of battle but having the Sword Saint was great. There was nothing to be scared of.

Satella believed in him. He could do this.

Keeping his eyes trained in front of him, he watched as the White Whale flew above them. The soldiers gasped and shuddered, but Subaru kept his face carefully blank in a display of strength.

...Until he saw what was on the ground.

All confidence fled as he stared in front of him in abject horror. His heart stopped and he began to hyperventilate.

' _Not like this,'_ he silently pleaded. _'Run away! Get away from that thing!'_

He wanted to find her safe and happy, not with –

He could vaguely make out Beatrice calling his name, but it didn't matter. She would die soon, and he would follow. All he could do was stare ahead of him as he awaited his death.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as the Grim Reaper faced him with a guileless smile.

Walking out of the mist was a young, purple-haired girl carrying a small, white rabbit.


	23. Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What do you say, Meili? Once everything's over, will you become my daughter?" ~Subaru Natsuki, Arc 6 Chapter 82  
> Special thanks to my fiancé for helping me overcome my demons.

Subaru felt it on his arms, his legs. Gnawing, clawing, biting his limbs off. His body exploded in pain, exacerbated by the fear he felt.

He tried to scream, but his vocal cords had been ripped out. He could not reach for his knife, for the Great Rabbit had eaten his arms whole. All he could do was wait for the end as the cold, the biting, freezing snow –

A small hand placed itself on his cheek, but he could not see the body it came from. All that existed was snow and teeth and claws and –

"Subaru," came a voice, but it was faded, distant. Like a lullaby given to a terrified child, it told him, "Everything's okay, I suppose."

Okay? What was okay? There was pain, only pain and –

"Breathe, I suppose. Betty's here for you, in fact."

Subaru blinked the snow out of his eyes, except there was no snow. Merely a slight chill. Where was he? He was just at the Sanctuary, right? Was Emilia okay? Was he –

"It's okay," Beatrice whispered. "Deep breaths, like we practiced, I suppose."

He could do that. In, out. In, out. No snow. Not the Sanctuary. Not dying. He had his whole body.

"That's it, in fact," she soothed. "Ground yourself. Where are you, Subaru?"

It was night, but there were no stars. The massive form of the White Whale and its dreadful mist were blocking them from view. He heard the cannons as well as Crusch shouting orders, but he couldn't see them.

He knew where he was. He was okay. They had a plan. If he just stuck to it –

With a jolt, he remembered. With a shaking arm, he pointed in front of them. "Beatrice," he said flatly, lest his panic run wild, "do you see what I'm pointing at?"

She squinted as the mist faded in and out. "One of Crusch's soldiers, I wonder?" she guessed. "Seems a bit short, I suppose."

Subaru shook his head. "That's Meili," he corrected, his voice wavering at the name.

During Meili's imprisonment at Roswaal's mansion, he had made dolls for her, and they just… talked. He went down there when he needed a break, and she found herself opening up to him. He was her biggest (and perhaps her _only_ ) advocate. She was one of the people he had vowed to protect, no matter what.

So… why did he kill her? Why did he grasp her by the neck and wring the life out of her?

He didn't know, for the answer did not lie within his haphazardly patched-together memories.

He had tried to convince himself that it wasn't him; there was someone else who knocked him out, killed Meili, and left. Except… he read her Book of the Dead. He saw the sadistic glee in his eyes as he talked about "rules." He felt Meili's _relief_ at finally taking her last breath.

He was truly despicable: a murderer beyond redemption.

It was one of his most recurring nightmares, and he could never speak of it. However, he forced it out of his mind, lest the Great Rabbit devours him whole.

Beatrice could sense his overflowing emotions, so she asked, "Why are you so afraid? Are you worried for the purple child's safety, in fact?"

He almost laughed. The idea of Meili being hurt by a mabeast was a ridiculous notion, and he reminded her of that. "The problem," he elaborated, "is that she's currently holding the Great Rabbit in her arms."

He expected Beatrice to gape, widen her eyes, or question his statement. She did none of those things.

With a determined nod, she said, "Let's kill the Great Rabbit, bring the purple child to safety, and let the others focus on the White Whale, I suppose." Her eyes twinkled at his surprised look. "Do you think Betty isn't used to your nonsense, I wonder?"

His mouth dried up, and he wanted to tell her how lucky he was, but they had wasted enough time.

The battle waged on around them, and Meili stood there with the same innocent smile. He approached her slowly, carefully making sure to not appear as a threat. He didn't know why she was here, let alone why she was with the Great Rabbit of all things. All he knew was that he was at a disadvantage. When threatened, the young girl's self-preservation took over, and she became a formidable foe. One misstep and the Great Rabbit would be upon him.

He needed to prove that she was safe, for only then she would let her guard down. It was a monumental task; how could he prove her safety when he feared for his own life?

The mist surrounded him, dancing over his skin; it would not erase his existence unless the Whale was directly near him and he was fully submerged in it, but that didn't stop the chill from creeping down his spine.

He hopped off Patrasche and instructed Beatrice, _'Teleport to Emilia and bring her here.'_

Beatrice gave him a look that clearly showed her thoughts on that plan, but he preemptively interrupted her, saying, _'Trust me on this. Don't worry about mana conservation, either.'_

Through their connection, he felt her anger and hurt. She must think he didn't care if she fell unconscious. Unfortunately, there was no time to explain himself. With a huff of annoyance, she vanished into the mist, leaving only the sounds of battle: booming cannons, shouting soldiers, incanting mages, and the pain-filled shrieks of a monster.

Subaru didn't register any of that, for he was face-to-face with two of his greatest nightmares.

The cursed fog obscured all but the two of them and the Great Rabbit. He knew the beast was under control; Meili wasn't typically able to control the Great Mabeasts, but she had somehow broken the Great Rabbit's horn. It would only attack if she ordered it to.

That didn't mean he wasn't terrified, or that he could afford to be careless.

"Hey, there," he said quietly as he tentatively approached Meili. He stubbornly refused to look away from her innocent, olive-green eyes. "I'm Subaru Natsuki. What's your name?"

"Hi, Mister! I'm Meili!" she chirped happily as if she weren't holding the physical incarnation of hunger in her arms. Her smile was wide and fearless, but it did not disarm him, for he knew it was fake. "It's nice to meeeet you!"

"It's nice to meet you, too," he responded evenly. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

Without pause, she announced, "I was looking for my big sister, Elsa. Have you seen her?"

He stiffened but did not bother to hide anything. Despite her childish behavior, Meili was incredibly perceptive. He wouldn't be surprised if she knew he was one of Elsa's killers the moment she laid eyes on him.

He feared what that meant for his life.

Meili was abandoned at a young age, and she was raised by mabeasts. Bereft of language, she survived only because of her Divine Protection of Mana Manipulation. She turned feral, and only then did Elsa save her.

From Elsa, Meili learned everything anew: speaking, acting, even flirting. The coquettish grin, unbefitting her childish face, was not given out of a desire to seduce, nor was she aware of its meaning. She likely didn't know anything of romance or intimacy; she simply copied the only role model she ever had. Unfortunately, that included the sadistic tendencies of her "big sister." She was incredibly attached to Elsa, even if neither seemed to hold affection for the other in the traditional sense. However, they were all the other had, and they depended on each other.

Now, here she was, standing before one of Elsa's murderers.

He wanted to lie, to deny the inevitable allegation, but knew it was pointless. With great reluctance, he admitted, "Around four months ago, Elsa tried to assassinate me. A few allies and I killed her out of self-defense."

He gazed at her warily but saw none of the expected anger or desire for vengeance. There was only calm acceptance and carefully masked grief. It didn't make sense; last time, despite getting close to him, she actively plotted his demise. This time, it was as if she blamed someone _else_ for Elsa's defeat, and it wasn't anyone in the Emilia Camp.

Was he missing something? He thought he had grown proficient at reading her hidden expressions, but he still couldn't find any righteous fury.

Lightly, she said, "That's okay. I was expecting that to be her last mission, anyway. Just a part of the business." She smiled as a thought came to her. "So, you killed Elsa, huh? You must be reeaally strong, Mister! Maybe you can help Whaley and Rabby protect me from Mama!"

Mama. The leader of the Assassin Organization. Meili and Elsa's boss.

The former Sin Archbishop of Lust, Capella Emerada Lugunica.

Last time, Meili was a willing prisoner for over a year just to avoid Capella. He didn't know why Meili was on the run this time, but she must have failed in one of her missions. Perhaps that was why she didn't attack the village children this time.

For a moment, his eyes scanned her face as if to detect any deceit, but they ended up locked to a gash on her cheek. It looked to be a few months old… It wasn't there last time, was it?

Now that he wasn't having a staring contest with her, he realized just how _off_ things were. She was drastically leaning on one leg, and one of her shoulders appeared to be dislocated. She was skin and bones; it was as if she hadn't had a proper meal in months. Scars and bruises littered her limbs, and infection festered on open wounds.

A lump formed in his throat. He should have found her sooner, actively looked for her. It didn't matter if she was resourceful or not; she looked like she was close to death, and that wouldn't have happened if she were living with him.

The Great Rabbit forgotten, he cupped her cheek and gently dragged his thumb over the scar, as if to ease the pain with his touch. Then, as if coaxing a scared animal, he quietly asked, "Did Mama do this to you?"

Meili stiffened at the contact, but she didn't break her blissful mask in the slightest. "Maaaybe," she said, her discomfort hidden by a happy sway. "But that was then, and this is now! I found Rabby and Whaley! They've been protecting me from Mama!"

The feeling of his limbs being torn off overcame him for a moment before he crushed it down. Meili was more important. "You don't need them," he told her, a bit more forcefully than intended. "My spirit and I – the whole Emilia Camp, actually – already killed her."

Of course, she didn't believe his bold claim for an instant. She shook her head with a giggle, saying, "You're so silly, Mister, saying something like that without proof."

"You want proof?" He pulled out his ruby-encrusted dagger and held it out, palm-up. "I trust you recognize this?"

Her eyes widened and she flinched, shattering his heart in the process. He'd _never_ seen her give a reaction like that, _ever_.

His soul roared in rage as he remembered her Book of the Dead; he couldn't help but wonder what other horrors were omitted, and where that blasted knife may have cut.

If Lust weren't already crushed into a singularity, he would have personally gone to beat the shit out of her, used Return by Death, and do it all over again, if only to wipe the fear off Meili's face.

As it was, however, she remained trapped in an unthinkable past. "You could've stolen it," she whispered in denial, her sing-song demeanor completely absent. She clutched the Great Rabbit close to her chest as she stammered out, "I still need Whaley and Rabby."

He shook his head vehemently as he repeated himself. "You don't need them. I can protect you from anything that would hurt you."

She eyed him warily as she revealed her true face: a terrified, sorrowful child. Then, quietly, "Will you prove it to me?"

"Of course," he said quickly. Immediately after, he realized the ramifications of his hasty claim.

The mist coalesced around her and he reached out, but she was already gone. With dawning horror, his suspicions were confirmed as something small and white rocketed towards his chest.

To prove his strength, he needed to kill the Great Rabbit.

While Subaru faced down his demons, Reinhard van Astrea was confronting his own. The White Whale towered above him, its mist suffocating him as he trembled in fear.

He did not fear for himself, but his allies. After all, he only cowered before one being, and it was not this overgrown fish. He was strong enough to take the Whale out in one blow, but that would kill everyone else in the vicinity. If it weren't for that blasted travel restriction, he would have gone on a solo mission and killed the beast long ago. Alas, he was a monster bound by chains and was not allowed out of sight. As such, he was surrounded by hundreds of common soldiers, and his power level would match theirs.

At his side stood a man many years his senior. A man with no special powers, no magic, no Divine Protections. The Od Laguna wouldn't give this man a passing glance, yet he was one of the strongest soldiers in the world.

The Sword Demon, Wilhelm Trias: the man who had denounced his position as Reinhard's grandfather.

They had been placed in the same carriage; no other passengers were present, and the driver had been blocked off. The two men were truly alone, free to talk about whatever they wished.

It was utterly silent.

After all, there was nothing to talk about. To each other, they were merely a couple of swordsmen who had middling respect for each other. Their shared past was erased mere moments after Theresia died.

But that didn't explain why they kept looking at each other when they thought the other wasn't paying attention, did it?

Cowards and fools, the both of them.

Reinhard could not speak for anyone else, but he knew that he was unhappy. That was not to say that Felt did not bring him joy; he viewed the princess as a younger sister and a dear friend. However, happiness was not a temporary state of being. It was an overall existence and one that could not be achieved by a monster such as him.

Even so, as he cast a hesitant glance at his grandfather, he couldn't help but wonder if the Od Laguna would grant him a brief respite. He opened his mouth to speak – the first words he had shared with his grandfather since he was six years old – and was promptly shot down.

"We need to attack the Whale's eyes," Wilhelm said with the poise and strength of a warrior. His eyes were anywhere but Reinhard's. "That will force it to split into three, weakening it significantly and bringing it low to the ground. That is what Sir Subaru had informed us of, is it not?"

Reinhard kept his face blank, but he couldn't help but feel that he missed his chance. "It is, yes," he agreed, showing none of his thoughts. "How do you suppose you'll get up there?"

Wilhelm's façade broke slightly as he scoffed. "Are you an Astrea or not?" he asked in frustration. "Throw me, you fool!"

With a hidden flinch and then a nod, Reinhard scooped up Wilhelm by the feet, hoisting the older man into the air. Like a spinning top, they twirled once, twice, and a third time before Wilhelm was rocketed to the sky. Perfectly positioned, Wilhelm gave a mighty roar as he flew hundreds of feet, landing directly above the White Whale's eye.

"For my wife!" he cried, loud enough for the infantry below him to hear. He pulled his sword from his scabbard and skewering the Whale's bulging pupil. The Whale flailed about, but he held firm, tearing his sword out and the eye with it.

Flinging it like a slingshot, he tossed the eye into the slew of carriages where it landed right beside his. That was his spoils of war, and he was not about to let it rot in a ditch somewhere.

With Theresia's flowing red hair in his thoughts, Wilhelm precariously made his way over to the Whale's other eye. As he crossed over its brow, a massive arc of brilliant green light – Crusch's signature One Blow, A Hundred Felled – slashed into the Whale's side, knocking Wilhelm off it.

' _What a wonderful strike, Lady Crusch,'_ he thought as he plummeted headfirst to the ground. _'Forgive me; I was unable to withstand it.'_

He fell hundreds of feet, but as he braced himself for impact, a pair of strong arms grasped him. Standing on nothing but water vapor, Reinhard had caught his grandfather at the halfway point between earth and sky.

"You performed excellently," Reinhard complimented. "My apologies that it took so long for me to join you up here."

Wilhelm tried to thank Reinhard for saving him, but his blasted pride would not allow it. Instead, he muttered, "Get us back on the Whale. We need to get the other eye."

With a hint of disappointment in his eyes, Reinhard tossed his grandfather over his shoulder, bent his knees, and jumped hundreds of feet, landing on the Whale. It gave a grunt of pain, stunning the soldiers below with the unholy sound, but the two men remained unaffected.

With a flat tone, Reinhard informed his grandfather, "I'm afraid my sword will not allow itself to be drawn at the moment. You'll need to be the one to get the eye."

A spark of anger flashed across Wilhelm's face. _'That's the sword you stole from my wife,'_ he growled internally, but could not speak aloud. For all the anger coursing through his veins, he could not speak those venomous words while looking at those sky-blue eyes. He settled on a meager nod and stumbled across the flailing Whale's back, making his way to the front.

Reinhard let himself sigh. He took no enjoyment from hunting monsters, and it was even less gratifying while under the resentful gaze of his grandfather.

' _It's not my fault,'_ he thought bitterly. Immediately after, his mind helpfully followed up with, _'If I were never born, my grandmother would still be alive.'_

With a rush of anger and buried grief, he thrust his fist into the Whale's side, tearing past all its physical defenses and exposing the flesh underneath.

" _It's covered in hairs that dissipate mana,"_ Subaru had told Reinhard a few days prior. _"If we can tear those off, then Crusch's mages could do some damage."_

Subaru had meant a few patches, but Reinhard was a man with a grudge. Within minutes, almost the entirety of the Whale's skin was torn off. With a blazing heart but only the slightest of frowns, he threw the coat to the ground below.

The Whale roared in pain and tried to shake them off, but Wilhelm would not allow it. He hooked his sword into the remaining eye and pulled, steering the Whale like he would a ground dragon. With ease, he directed it into one of Crusch's attacks.

Despite how much it pained him, he couldn't help but wonder how his wife fell to such a beast. It was powerful, sure, but a well-executed plan was enough to demolish it, and his wife was far more powerful than he ever was. Not to mention that he knew of their attack plan; even if she lost her Divine Protection of the Sword Saint amidst her battle, it shouldn't have affected the outcome. She had already reached her maximum potential, anyway; her fighting ability would not have been impacted.

With a heavy heart, he thought, _'What happened on that fateful day?'_

As Reinhard tore apart the White Whale, his mind was working furiously. He couldn't help but think about something that Subaru had said a couple of nights after arriving at Astrea Chateau.

They had been sitting by the fireside in the middle of the night – neither were good sleepers, after all – and simply… talked. It was the kind of morbid, existential conversation that only occurred when the rest of the world was asleep.

" _It's a wonderful yet abhorrent coincidence,"_ Reinhard had murmured into his tea. _"Because of my grandmother's death, I was thrown into a spiral of despair. To hide from my despair, I worked harder than most other knights. Because of my hard work, I became even more stressed, and the captain gave me a day off, causing me to run into you. Your words guided me to the slums, which lead me to my Lady's injured side."_

He gave a wry grin. _"I have a purpose again, and I won't give it up, but it's fascinating to think of how many horrid coincidences worked together to create such a wonderful situation. It's as if we're being guided to our future."_

" _You draw that conclusion, yet you still view this as a coincidence,"_ the younger – or perhaps infinitely older – man whispered with grief in his was hunched over and wrapped in a blanket, still shaking from a nightmare; truly, not what Reinhard imagined the Sage to be _._

" _There's no such thing as coincidence,"_ Subaru continued somberly _. "We're merely the playthings of a malevolent demon, for reality itself shatters in her hands. She'll never lose because she'll simply rewrite history, eliminating all threats."_ He gripped his teacup tighter as his hands began to shake. _"As long as she controls our history, we have no future."_

Something told Reinhard that Subaru wasn't talking about the Witch of Envy.

The next morning, Subaru had laughed it off as pointless, sleep-deprived ramblings, but Reinhard would never forget it. It wasn't because Subaru was lying, mind you. It truly was "pointless," for there was no fighting such a foe. He was indeed "sleep-deprived," for how can one sleep when haunted by nightmares of a demon?

With a lump in his throat, Reinhard wondered if that same demon was related to his grandmother's demise. If that were true… could he be –

With a yell of sorrow and rage, Wilhelm gouged out the Whale's other eye. "Get us off this blasted thing!" he shouted to Reinhard. "It's about to divide itself!"

Successfully distracted from his thoughts, Reinhard grabbed onto Wilhelm and hopped off the Whale, coaxing the air around them to slow their descent.

They would assist in the coming battle, of course, but Reinhard was a beast on a chain: a sword that could not be unsheathed around others. The Whales – for there were now three of them – were flying low to the ground. Any of Reinhard's more powerful attacks would only hurt his allies. It was time to pass on his responsibilities to another.

With equal parts faith and concern, Reinhard thought, _'It's your turn, Sage.'_

Across the battlefield, Emilia staggered. The White Whale had given a bellow of rage, unlike anything she had ever heard before. It was a harrowing sound, reverberating through her brain like a siege weapon to a fortress. It nearly forced her to her knees, for not only did its screech of pain assault her sensitive ears, but the sound of it tearing into two…

She was sure she would have nightmares for years.

But she pushed forward, for there was no time to waste. Freezing the ground in front of her and using it as a slide, she rushed towards one of the newly birthed Whales.

She made her way around the charging soldiers, weaving through the patches of mist. Under no circumstances would she allow herself to fall into its grasp. Using the method Subaru taught her, long forgotten to history, she modified the friction of her ice magic, allowing her to slide faster.

The Whale sped directly towards her, but she did not stray from her path. _"Ul Huma!"_ she shouted, crashing the Whale into dozens of icy obelisks. Then, with a mere thought, the struggling Whale was covered in icy flowers, weighing it down further. Dozens of frozen soldiers, each a perfect replica of her knight but filled with Emilia's strength, assaulted it with all they had.

She was the Witch of Frost, and she would _not_ cower before a simple animal.

With a wail to shatter the skies above, the Monster of the Mist broke free of its frigid imprisonment. One of Emilia's ice shards rocketed towards her, about to embed in her gut –

" _Huma_!" Thinking quickly, she conjured a shield as the projectile fell to the ground and disappeared into the ether.

' _You're quite the tenacious beast,'_ she thought. _'That was too close.'_ If that hit her and she fell, then Subaru would –

She didn't allow herself to finish that thought, for it wasn't worth considering. Neither of them would die, for they would make it to the end, together.

The Whale flew towards her at unfathomable speeds. An _Al Huma_ might be able to take it down, but it would be rough at that angle.

Then, like a dream at the edge of her consciousness, a fleeting image passed before her mind's eye.

It was worth trying, at the very least.

With strength in her voice, she chanted, _"Va Huma!"_

To the outside observer, it only appeared as if the Whale abruptly stopped moving. Emilia, however, somehow knew what happened.

Despite being a mabeast, the White Whale's brain was filled with as many ripples and contours as other mammals. _Va Huma_ filled those linings with millions of sharp ice crystals that stabbed inwards, instantly causing death.

' _What a grisly end,'_ she couldn't help but think. _'Even a beast such as you didn't deserve to be put under one of Echidna's spells.'_

Emilia frowned; she had the strangest suspicion as to how she knew that spell and its origin. The notion filled her with both fulfillment and grief.

She took a moment to catch her breath against the deceased Whale's side before wrinkling her nose at the putrid stench. Daphne had thought this was an acceptable meal? What an odd child she must have been.

The battlefield raged around her, but Emilia felt she earned a brief reprieve; after all, she had just used an incredibly powerful spell for the first time. Even so, she would not let her guard down. She did that once before, and Subaru almost died.

' _And not even by another's hand,'_ she thought reproachfully before berating herself. She merely bore witness to such pain and had no right to compound it with her own self-pity.

But his pain… Where did it come from?

She knew of his actions as the Sage, of course, as well as his reasons. They had spent many a late night trying to sort through those feelings, sparing no detail.

She could never go back to her innocence after that. Some of his desperate actions, and the detail in which he described them…

He helped her overcome the terrors of her past. She would do anything to help him in return. Whether he deprecated himself, screamed in the dead of night, or cried nonsensical tears, she would help him.

Still, something was missing.

Emilia froze the entire forest, and there was a chance she could not unfreeze her brethren. If only she had kept her promise to Mother Fortuna, none of that would have happened.

And yet, here she was. She would never forget her terrible actions, but she could sort through her emotions and work towards a brighter future.

Subaru couldn't. Despite the excruciating details he told of his descent into madness, he wasn't telling them everything. Sometimes, amidst tears, he'd look at her like he had something of grave importance to say. When pressed, he'd simply say, _"I can't tell you."_

She loathed those words. Because of them, he couldn't move on.

The way he said them… It's like he was apologizing, but for what? What did he do?

She didn't know. This secret of his… It was killing him, slowly and repeatedly.

She shook herself clear of her thoughts, for a battlefield was no place to wallow. Luckily, it appeared that only a few moments had passed.

She cast her eyes over the battlefield, looking for a group to help. Through the mist, her keen eyes made out a shifting patch of white. She didn't recall any of Crusch's soldiers wearing that color. Actually, they seemed to be bunched together, attacking someone... Was that Subaru?!

She froze the ground beneath her and shot forward, the wind whipping around her ears. She would not panic, for she had long since learned her lesson.

Even so, she could not help but rush to help her struggling knight.

Away from any immediate assistance, a single rabbit assaulted Subaru. Then two. Then five. Then twelve. Their hunger was immense, insatiable, unending. They would eat him, his bones, and his blood, leaving nothing behind.

But he was done giving up.

Deep inside the Shadow Garden, an old friend lent Subaru strength. From his chest, an ethereal hand burst forth, knocking the Great Rabbit away. The Rabbit split three times, but Subaru grabbed each with a Guiding Hand, crushing them to pieces.

With an exhilarated laugh, he unleashed the full power of his Authority of Sloth as a dozen Guiding Hands came under his command. With strength and precision befitting a true knight, he began to decimate the Great Rabbit.

Two Guiding Hands, larger than ever before, grabbed two Rabbits each, crushing them to pieces. Their blood splattered all over him, but he did not flinch. As long as the blood was not that of his loved ones, he was fine.

Subaru was not nearly as powerful as someone like Sekhmet, or even Petelguese. The main strength of their Unseen Hands was their invisibility. Subaru's Guiding Hands, however, were a deep, forest green: the same color as the eyes he gifted Shaula with.

Even with his newfound power, the circumstances were dire. He was a Spirit Knight without a spirit. His allies were elsewhere, fighting for their lives. He was facing the beast that brought him more fear than any of the Witches and Sin Archbishops combined. He'd already died multiple times to the Great Rabbit's jaws, and he had never defeated it; he had only sent it to another dimension, and that was while Beatrice was at full power. Now, every Rabbit he crushed was replaced by three more, and they were steadily wearing him down.

None of that mattered, for he was Emilia's one and only knight. So long as he had people to protect, he would _never_ give up.

A silver bell heralded the arrival of an angel as Emilia cried out, _"El Huma!"_ shooting dozens of ice spears and freezing multiple Rabbits. She made her way to Subaru's side, barely out of breath. "I apologize for taking so long," she said over the cacophony of the battle. "I was busy as a bee killing a Whale."

Laughing at the dated idiom, he asked, "Honestly, who even says 'busy as a bee'?"

Soon after, Beatrice popped into existence beside him, huffing at their antics. "Are you done flirting with your little girlfriend, I wonder? Betty is tired from all that teleporting, I suppose."

With one fell swoop, Subaru crushed three rabbits the moment they came into existence. "I wouldn't worry about it," he said flippantly. "There's a quick workaround."

Before Beatrice could ask what he meant, he turned to Emilia and rapidly fired off his instructions. She nodded and dashed off, freezing the ground below her and sliding on the artificial terrain. Using Puck as a conduit, she formed an impenetrable fortress of ice around the Rabbits, trapping them. The Rabbits, mindless and instinctual as they were, didn't notice.

Even with Emilia's support, the situation rapidly spiraled out of control. Not only were the Rabbits multiplying too fast, but he was also struggling to command all twelve Guiding Hands. After all, he hadn't had much time to practice using it.

Subaru grabbed Beatrice's hand and was about to teleport away before cursing violently.

"What is it, I wonder?" she asked but did not look at him. She was too busy avoiding the Rabbits. She tried to conjure a Minya but was out of mana. As it was, she was struggling to stay conscious, let alone defend herself or teleport away. The Rabbits were gaining in numbers going from a controllable ten to hundreds. If it weren't for Subaru's clean sweeps, they'd both be dead.

"Patrasche's still in here, too!" he said in a panic. "We need to teleport to her, right now!"

"I can't teleport, in fact!" she shot back. "I'm out of mana, I suppose!"

He cursed again before steeling himself. "Guess you'll have to trust your Subaru on this one."

He didn't wait for a response, for he didn't need to. The trust between a spirit and her contractor was absolute.

He scooped her up and tucked her into his side, dashing past the Rabbits. They nipped at his heels, desperate to taste his flesh, but he had enough of that back at the Sanctuary. He hopped over one and smacked away three more, desperately trying to reach Patrasche.

The ground dragon, to her credit, was faring well against the Great Mabeast. She thrashed and flailed, catching one Rabbit in her maw and tossing it to the side as she reared back to bat the rest away.

Possibly against his better judgment, Subaru brought two Guiding Hands away from the Rabbits, hooking one under Patrasche and the other under Beatrice.

" _What are you doing, I wonder?!"_ the spirit screeched. She knew he was self-sacrificing, but to this extent? She wouldn't allow it!

He couldn't look at her as his attention was on the Rabbits, but he managed to shout, "Trust me!"

With that, the Guiding Hands flew up, unceremoniously tossing Beatrice and Patrasche over the wall of ice.

Emilia, seeing what Subaru was doing, dashed over at inhuman speeds. She created a massive bank of snow, allowing Beatrice and Patrasche to land harmlessly on the ground.

Beatrice tried to call out, but she had no mana left. She fell unconscious, leaving Subaru alone with the Great Rabbit.

Far away from their conflict, Rem weaved in and out of the mist at speeds unimaginable. Her task was simple: attack the White Whale whenever there was an opening and heal wounded soldiers along the way.

A massive shadow passed over her as the last remaining Whale flew directly above her. _"Al Huma!"_ she cried, her horn amplifying the spell's power. A ten-foot-long ice spear pierced the Whale's exposed hide; its following scream of pain stunned hundreds of soldiers, but not Rem. Her mind was elsewhere.

Subaru's words, which had given her peace only hours ago, were forgotten the moment she entered her demon transformation. The mere surface-level bandage had been ripped off in the face of true grief as primal rage overwrote her humanity.

The power she used to attack the Whale… It was not hers, but her sister's.

' _I'm not supposed to exist,'_ she raged, the self-loathing amplified. _'Not me, but Sister! I stole her horns! Her life! Her power! Hers hers hershersherhers HERS!'_

Rem was even more pathetic than she thought.

With a scream of pain and anger, she jumped onto the Whale's back and smashed her morning star into its spine. She tore out one of the bones and used it as a dagger, taking a grim sense of satisfaction at the way the blood spurted out. Then, she sourly thought, _'Just like my sister bled when her horn was lost.'_

She remembered Al's tale well; her tribe was alive, and Ram was a god. Because Rem was born, that never happened. It was her fault, and no one else's.

In her enraged state, she never once thought to blame Pandora.

The Whale, reeling from its spine being torn asunder, tried to shake her off. She tumbled across its back, barely latching on to its tail. The mist crept up behind her, threatening to swallow her whole.

Would it truly be so bad if her existence was erased?

Life would go on. No one would miss her. Another maid would come to the mansion to pick up her workload. Maybe, to accommodate the lack of a twin, Ram would get her horn back. She could fix so, so much…

…but she was done making her sister suffer.

Ram's smiles and words of encouragement. Her embrace when it was cold, and her unconditional love. She was prickly to others, but never to her little sister.

Even if Rem's existence was erased – even if no one remembered her – she would be missed.

To think that something good could come of her existence… It was unfathomable, yet when Subaru called her his friend and gave her a smile… That was real.

Just like she was.

" _Two years ago, you didn't exist,"_ Al had told her.

"Like that means anything," Rem shouted over the wind. "That was real! _I_ am real, and no one can tell me otherwise!"

She hoisted herself up with all her strength, jumping up on the Whale's back. She struggled forward but made it to the head of the Whale.

She raised her weapon high. "For Sister!" she cried. Full of hope for the future, she stabbed downwards, piercing through the Whale's skull and into its brain. Immediately, the Whale crashed to the ground and the mist around it dissipated.

The two copies were gone. All that was left was the damaged original. It was regenerating fast, but that was fine, for she had faith in her comrades.

Her chest heaved and sweat poured down her face. Killing the Whale… that was something _she_ did. Not her sister, or Subaru, or Emilia, but _Rem_.

Power that was not stolen, nor selfishly kept. Power that would be shared with her allies and her precious sister.

Perhaps… it was worth pushing forward.

Off in the distance, Crusch watched yet another Whale fall with a sigh of relief. She had known this would be a difficult battle, so seeing it go so well put her at ease.

The White Whale, noticing it was on its last legs, exploded with sound, causing many of her men to fell to their knees. She stumbled under the onslaught but held firm. Leaning heavily on her sword, she glared up at the being before her, squashing down the burst of fear. "Everything is as Sir Subaru foretold," she murmured, a bit of rueful awe in her voice.

She was truly lucky to have an ally like Sir Subaru, even if her trust in him wasn't infallible. She couldn't help but think back to their war council meetings when they had planned this fight.

" _The nuances of your plan are quite fascinating, Sir Subaru,"_ Wilhelm had noted. _"You speak like a man who's faced the White Whale and lived to tell the tale."_

Subaru was about to deny it, but his eyes flicked to Crusch before he said, _"I'm pretty good at planning for threats."_

He dodged the question, which was strange enough, but to look directly at Crusch? That meant he somehow knew that she would be the one to detect a lie.

But how? Only her inner circle knew about her Divine Protection of Wind Indication. Sure, he could have known of her penchant for catching deceit, but something told her that wasn't it.

As she turned to her left and shouted her orders to the slowly recovering soldiers, she couldn't help but wonder, _'Who are you, Subaru Natsuki?'_

With a swing of her sword, a massive beam of green light shot out, and she thanked the Sage that she had the Slayer of Sin Archbishops as her ally.

And then there was Emilia.

Crusch was no stranger to battle, nor of grace; she was known as Valkyrie for a reason. Despite that, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of awe while watching the half-elf battle the White Whale. It was a frenzied dance of power and destruction, of speed and subjugation.

A goddess of ice and snow. A harbinger of destruction. The protector of Lugunica. A half-demon. The rightful queen. A Witch.

The Frost Maiden. The Sage's Chosen.

The public gave Emilia many names. Crusch still wasn't sure which title was the aptest, but she was certain to watch the younger girl's career with great interest.

As Crusch continued her unrelenting, remote strikes against the Whale, she noticed something in the distance that made her falter.

The Great Rabbit had descended upon them.

"Damn it!" she shouted. Their plan didn't account for _two_ Great Mabeasts!

Briefly, she thought of having the Sword Saint handle it, but she shot it down instantly. If he were to wipe out the Great Rabbit, everyone surrounding him would die. If she were to leave him alone and let him fight at full power, that would violate numerous international accords, and Lugunica would find itself in yet another war.

They would need to recuperate and create a new plan: one fit to handle both threats at once. It was an insurmountable task, but they would figure it out. With a heavy heart, she prepared to give the order to retreat, only for her eyes to widen further.

A prison of ice had been constructed and reinforced by Emilia. Inside that prison, facing the Great Rabbit head-on, was…

'… _who else but Subaru Natsuki?'_

He was impossible to predict, possessed unique abilities, had access to a massive, exclusive pool of knowledge, destroyed multiple invincible foes… and was potentially the future King of Lugunica.

If anyone were to lay waste to the Great Rabbit, it was Subaru.

For a fleeting moment, Crusch felt bitter. She had tried ordering hundreds of battle-hardened soldiers to retreat, yet a single human was single-handedly facing down the new threat. What kind of ruler was she if an inexperienced young adult was braver than her?

However, that bitterness was soon swept away by a feeling of security and faith. After all, this was what she wanted; the kingdom needed a leader to stand up for them, not one that mindlessly prayed to the Dragon.

' _Your kingdom is in good hands, Fourier.'_

With newfound determination, Crusch gave a battle cry filled with hope and resumed her assault on the White Whale.

Despite Crusch's belief in him, Subaru was struggling. He didn't know how much more he could take. He had to retract two of his Guiding Hands just to remain in control, and it felt like the Great Rabbit was multiplying twice as fast. He needed his opening but couldn't find it.

From behind the tall ice wall, Emilia was shooting _El Humas_ in an arc, sniping the Rabbits with terrifying precision. More would replace it, but at least it was keeping Subaru alive. She didn't know what he was doing, but she had to trust him.

Subaru, for his part, was trying to figure something out. He had seen a move like his intended one in the fight against Sloth but had been more focused on escaping instead of how he'd use a similar power.

Suddenly, the pieces fit together. With a victorious grin, he spun around, knocking the Rabbits back. It was not enough to kill them and would allow them time to multiply and eventually overwhelm him, but that was fine. He only needed to give himself a few extra seconds.

Two Guiding Hands scooped under him as three more pushed him off the ground, lifting him into the air. The remainder grabbed onto the top of the ice wall as he vaulted over it, landing on a soft bank of snow that suddenly appeared on the other side. He shouted a quick "thank you" to Emilia, but she was too busy reinforcing the ice wall.

He dashed over to the unconscious Beatrice who was being gently nuzzled by Patrasche. Scooping the spirit up and hopping onto the ground dragon's back, he made his way around the wall, searching for his target.

Finally, he came across it: a massive chunk of the White Whale, torn off by Reinhard's bare hands. He crinkled his nose and tried not to breathe; to think that Shaula had to eat this kind of stuff to survive sickened him, but he pushed down the guilt to focus on his task.

Laying Beatrice down beside the severed flesh, he grabbed her hand and placed his other one on the Whale's intestines. Opening his damaged gate, he forced her to absorb the mana, using the Whale as a battery.

One of the rules of his contract with Beatrice was that he was to be her primary source of mana. Last time, that meant she couldn't get mana from anyone else. However, the wording of their contract was different now. After lots of experimenting with her and Emilia, they discovered that it only referred to the time spent absorbing mana. Even though she preferred Subaru's mana – _"Purely because you are Betty's contractor, and for no other reason, I suppose"_ – she could still use other sources.

Sources like the White Whale.

He used to be annoyed when Daphne chatted incessantly about how the White Whale was different from her other mabeasts. Now, he was incredibly grateful to know that, even if parts of it were cut off, it retained massive quantities of mana.

With a gasp, Beatrice shot up, bursting to the seams with energy. It was as if she had been absorbing mana for hundreds, no, _thousands_ of years.

Her typical mana absorption rate was abysmal; forcing her to take in so much at once was a huge risk. Then again, facing the Great Rabbit while unconscious meant certain death. Naturally, Subaru preferred the former.

Her whole body trembled violently as she reached up to place a small hand on his cheek. "Subaru," she whispered shakily as she tried to catch her breath. "You're okay, in fact."

He couldn't help but smile. She was overwhelmed, but she was thinking about him? There was a reason he adored her. "Rule Number Six of our contract," he recited. "I will always be Betty's Subaru, and I will _never_ leave you."

The smile she gave him was worth living for.

Together, they intoned, _"Murak,"_ letting the wind carry them a hundred feet in the air. Emilia, who had been reinforcing the ice walls, noticed the two and ran to safety.

Hand in hand, spirit and contractor faced their fate.

Below them was a frenzied horde in the throes of cannibalism, smashing against the walls as their numbers grew infinitely larger. Without reinforcing it, the wall would crumble, and they would be lost. Even so, Subaru and Beatrice were calm.

"This feels familiar," he mused.

She nodded, having regained her bearings as they left the ground. "We were this high up against Capella, in fact."

A wry grin crossed his features. "That, too, I guess."

She ignored him and raised her arms, saying, "The spell I'm going to use costs enormous amounts of mana, in fact. It lets me –"

"Send them to another dimension," he finished. She didn't react; she was no longer surprised at his knowledge. "Yeah, not a chance. Instead, we're going to use something that costs quite a bit more, but will kill the Great Rabbit, once and for all. Think you can handle it?"

Reveling in the influx of energy coursing through her, she let joyous laughter replace what was once biting wit. "If Betty is doing it with her Subaru, she can do anything, I suppose!"

With a confident grin, Subaru looked at the writhing mass below them: the demon he had never overcome. Guiding mana through his spirit's gate, he let the power flow through them as he shouted a spell that had never been seen in this timeline:

" _E·M·B!"_

From all across the battlefield, the soldiers' shadows detached from their bodies and raced to a focal point beneath Subaru and Beatrice. Like wolves to their prey, they clamored together, desperate to be at the center. Then, as one cohesive unit, they rose from the ground as a single unit.

Spirals of shadow wrapped around the massive figure. It was a being of solid magic, absorbing the surrounding light. It was as tall as the White Whale was long, and it was focused solely on the Great Rabbit.

A Shadow Golem had appeared.

Once, maintaining the golem's form for a few seconds at a mere quarter of the size was enough to knock Beatrice unconscious. Now, it barely tapped into her mana reserves.

"What is this, I wonder?" she asked in awe. "You never told me about this spell, in fact."

With a smug grin, Subaru told her, "Well, your contractor needs to keep some surprises up his sleeve. Otherwise, you'll get sick of me."

Ecstatic from the overwhelming power flowing through her, she let out a laugh. "Betty will never get tired of her Subaru!"

In tandem, the two commanded their golem to aim at the Great Rabbit and fired hundreds of _Minyas_ at once. Neither flora nor fauna were spared, for they needed to ensure their enemy's demise.

For centuries, the Great Rabbit had ravaged the land. Thousands died to its ravenous hunger and dozens of ecosystems were upended. An entire legion of Royal Knights weren't enough to subjugate it.

However, when faced with the destructive force that was Subaru and Beatrice, the Great Rabbit died in seconds.

Even so, the battle was not over. They had merely defeated the unexpected foe. Now, they turned to face the White Whale, which was rapidly recovering.

Crusch and her army were striking it with everything they had. Wilhelm Trias was causing incredible damage with every swing of his blade. Reinhard, despite being forced to hold back, was almost single-handedly destroying it.

But it wasn't enough. The beast recovered too fast. Any longer, and they risked losing soldiers to its mist or maw. So, the Shadow Golem turned its wrath upon the Whale. Wrapping its massive arms around the Great Mabeast, it slammed the Whale into the ground. An earthquake shattered the landscape around the impact, throwing many soldiers off their feet.

With unrelenting vengeance, the Shadow Golem aimed at the Whale's head. From afar, spirit and contractor commanded it to unleash a spell that hadn't been seen in centuries.

It was not _Al Minya_ , which had encapsulated Capella with its sheer destructive force. Instead, it was _Ul Minya_ : a devastating ability of absolute precision.

Storm clouds gathered and lightning flashed as the mana in the air thickened. A purple ring of light descended from the sky and wrapped around the Whale, binding it to the ground. It could not thrash or flail, for it was bound in an iron grip. It tried to screech, but it was silenced by the shadows.

As if Volcanica himself had come down to enact judgment, the White Whale was surrounded by a concentrated beam of shadow. Piece by piece, cell by cell, its body disintegrated. All that remained of it was dust, gently blown away a fresh, morning breeze. Light scattered across the field as the clouds parted, revealing awestruck soldiers staring up at their saviors.

Subaru did not care for their adoration, for there was one last person to save.

"I'm coming, Meili," he whispered as his spirit gave his hand a comforting squeeze. "You won't have to be alone anymore."


	24. Meili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got fanart for the last chapter! It's called "Meili in the Mist," and it's made by quimser (qmzr on fanfiction/AO3. Check out their story, "Not So Faded Scars").  
> reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/lgauue/oc_meili_in_the_mist_fanart_for_restart/
> 
> Special thanks to my fiancé for helping me walk when I can't stand and for never letting me be lonely.

The lush forest bordering Arlam Village was a wonderful place. The trees were greener than a Vollachian rainforest, the streams were purer than a Gustekan glacier, and the air felt like it was blessed by the Great Spirit of Wind.

Meili Portroute, however, loved it for an entirely different reason.

By a lightly trickling river, the young girl with purple hair and olive-green eyes was playing in the dirt with her puppy. Meili had lots of puppies, of course, but this one was her favorite.

"You're such a cuuutie, Wol-Wol," Meili cooed. The Wolgarm's eyes, glowing red with the power of a thousand curses, barked with joy under Meili's tender ministrations.

She looked sadly at the softly glowing crystals that lined the trees. "I wish I could bring you to meet my friends. Petra would love you." An idea popped into her head as she chirped, "Maybe I can bring her in here! Would you like that, Wol-Wol?"

The Wolgarm panted at the thought of a fresh meal, causing Meili to giggle. "No eating my friends," she chastised. Then, with a frown, she amended, "Well, unless Mama says you have to."

Meili would be sad, but she knew what happened to those who disobeyed Mama.

A bit later, the Wolgarm trotted away, leaving Meili all by herself. She let her smile fall as she felt the cold seep in, numbing her very soul. Then, she felt the slightest bit of warmth as a distant yet familiar voice called out, "Meili! Where are you?"

Meili's eyes lit up as she shouted back, "Over here, Petra!"

Petra Leyte was Meili's friend. At least, Meili thought they were friends. She hadn't had a friend before, but that's how Petra introduced the two of them to the other children.

So, friends they were.

Her reddish-brown hair swaying gently in the breeze, Petra burst through the trees with a smile before wrinkling her nose in distaste. Squeezing her nose to block out the smell, she asked, "Why are you all the way out here?"

"I live here," Meili answered with a smile, seeing no issue. "Isn't it neat?"

Horrified, Petra dragged her cyan eyes over the rectangle of dirt covered with leaves – she _really_ hoped that wasn't meant for sleeping – and the massive pile of what appeared to be multi-species excrement. In lieu of answering Meili's question, she said, "I was going to invite you over to play, but I didn't know where you lived. Lucas said he saw you go in the forest, but I never…"

She trailed off before adopting a stern expression and scolding, "This isn't the kind of place a young lady should be living! Why aren't you with your parents?"

"Don't have any," Meili said flippantly. She didn't like to think of those people. "I was raised by looots of puppies and kittens."

Tears formed in Petra's eyes, so Meili reassured her, "Don't worry, I also have my big sister! But she's on a mission, so I'm aaall alone for a few weeks."

"A few weeks?" Petra asked incredulously. Scrunching her face up in determination, she declared, "That's it! You're coming to live with me, missy!"

Meili cocked her head in thought. Leaving the forest to have a sleepover with Petra… That sounded nice. Her puppies would be fine, right? She supposed they could always eat each other if they got hungry, and Petra _was_ fun to play with…

…but would Mama be mad if she knew?

 _"Never forget where your love belongs,"_ Mama would whisper while her hands –

Well, Meili knew not to disobey Mama.

And yet… the pleading look in Petra's eyes…

Well, so long as Meili didn't leave the village, everything would be fine. She wasn't disobeying any orders.

With a disarming smile, Meili announced that she'd love to stay with Petra. Then, her eyes widened with hope as she asked, "Can I try sleeping in a bed? I've always wanted a bed!"

Petra plastered a smile on her face. "Sure!" she said through her teeth, vowing that Meili would never again sleep on the ground.

Completely unaware of her friend's righteous fury, Meili excitedly scrambled to gather her possessions. Mumbling to herself, she listed off: "Let's see here… I got the pair of gloves I found, my favorite stick, the cape I wear while murdering the innocent…"

"What –"

"…my hair tie from that one garbage pile, and my communication mirror." With that, she smiled at her friend and walked towards the village.

Petra shook her head to clear it and jogged up to Meili's side. She was probably just hearing things.

Petra's house wasn't particularly special; a simple, brown-painted abode, just like most other homes in Arlam Village. The difference was that it was cold even in the summer months.

It had been that way for three years.

Meili, however, noticed something else: the strangest sense of welcome. It's like they accepted her.

But that was nonsense. She belonged in the forest with her pets, doing Mama's bidding whenever she was called upon. She hated killing. She hated the blood. She hated the glassy, empty eyes. She _hated_ it, but she was a killer. That was all she could ever be.

Still, she could pretend to be normal for a few days.

Petra's mother, Leah Leyte, had reddish-brown hair – just like her daughter's – but her hazel eyes were sad instead of hopeful. Her father, Joseph, shared his daughter's cyan eyes, but they were filled with determination, for he would push forward despite his grief. Those eyes, so often drooping in pain, lit up a bit when the two came in.

' _You can tell a lot about a person through their eyes,'_ Petra mused. Her sister taught her that.

Shaking her head rapidly to clear it, Petra feigned a smile and introduced Meili to her parents. "She doesn't have a home," Petra explained afterward. "Can she stay with us for a couple of weeks until she meets up with her sister?"

They had a spare room, after all.

A silent conversation passed between her parents. At length, her father slowly said, "I suppose one more mouth to feed is acceptable. I'm sure the rest of the village can help out, too." Turning to Meili, he asked, "Where were you living before this?"

With a smile, Meili responded, "In the forest with my puppies, of course. Lots of puppies and kittens and lions and bears… Aren't mabeasts the cuuutest?"

Of course, she completely ignored the Leyte family's gazes of abject horror.

Sometime later, she found herself in a bed stuffed with wool. "This is increeedible," she murmured, sinking into the softness. "First a bath, now a bed? It's a great day for firsts!"

Petra couldn't bring herself to respond. No bath or bed… Just what had her friend been through?

Looking back on it, she should have known that something was wrong. Meili appeared randomly in the village, but no one knew where she came from or where she stayed. She mentioned a big sister, but no one ever saw the woman.

Petra should have invited her sooner.

Directing her thoughts away from that, she said, "It's a comfy bed, right?" At Meili's nod, she elaborated, "It belongs to my sister."

Confused, Meili asked, "Then why isn't she using it?"

Petra looked away, lowering her voice. "Because she's missing."

Not dead; just missing. She always was more optimistic than her parents.

Meili flashed a confident grin. "She'll come back soon; I know it!"

The purple-haired girl stopped short, utterly confused. That's not what Elsa would have done. Elsa would have commented on how the girl likely had a gruesome death or was enslaved. She wouldn't have reassured Petra. Meili was failing as a mimic, a toy, a blank slate, a –

Unaware of Meili's inner turmoil, Petra gave a shaky smile. "The knights themselves weren't able to find her," she admitted.

Meili shook her head to clear it and held onto the pillow, marveling at the softness. "That's because they're knights," she said airily. "They'll scream like a baby if they see a puppy."

Petra wondered if they were thinking of the same knights… or the same puppies.

The following two weeks were idyllic, to say the least. Leah and Joseph had offered for Meili to stay for as long as she wanted. They were charmed by the energetic girl, even if she sometimes said some strange things. Petra was just happy that she had another friend.

Meili, on the other hand, never knew what she was missing out on until she lived in an actual home. Sure, she'd stayed in a few abandoned warehouses while on missions with Elsa, but moth-eaten chairs were _nothing_ compared to a proper bed.

She wasn't entirely sure why Mama placed her in Arlam Village – she guessed it was because of her Gospel – but she really hoped that she wouldn't have to kill her friends. That would make her sad.

Then again, orders were orders, and Mama didn't like it when people disobeyed her. Meili had the scars to prove it.

A week after arriving, Leah walked into the kitchen to find Meili surrounded by dozens of pots, pans, and plates, cooking up what appeared to be a casserole of some kind. The young girl was a furious whirlwind, tossing ingredients into the mix with expert precision. Leah was under the impression that Meili had lived in the forest and would have no experience cooking, yet here she was, displaying years of mastery.

Then, it happened: a single mistake. She added in a pinch of rosemary, which clashed horribly with the ginger.

It was the exact same mistake that Leah had made the night before, and it was at the same step, too. Meili had even matched Leah's expression, sticking her tongue out between her teeth in distaste as she discovered her error. She quickly grabbed a cloth and patted down the broccoli heads, trying to take off as much of the invasive seasoning as possible. Placing her hands on her hips and nodding to herself in self-satisfaction, she continued in the exact same manner as Leah had.

Befuddled and unsure of the proper response, Leah asked, "What are you doing?"

Completely unfazed – none of them had ever managed to sneak up on Meili – the girl continued cutting vegetables as she declared, "I'm making dinner."

"Yes, but…" Leah struggled with herself before asking, "…why?"

Meili blinked and looked down at her hands with a fake smile. Why _was_ she making dinner? She didn't even _like_ last night's casserole. She was simply copying someone older and wiser – the only thing she knew how to do.

Why couldn't she make choices for herself? If she kept this up, she'd become a boring toy. She would need to be more subtle with her imitations if she –

Suddenly, she stiffened. Leah had sidled up next to her and began cutting up onions, lightly saying, "You know, it'd be silly of me to let a child handle such a sharp knife on her own. Why don't you ground up some nutmeg, instead?"

Leah shoved the spice into Meili's unsuspecting hands, and she blinked down at it owlishly. Sharp knives were her bread and butter, but this? What was she supposed to do with this… thing?

Suddenly, a memory flashed before her mind's eye. Elsa had sauntered towards her prey with a coy smile, unwilling to let the trembling, pathetic man before her perish so easily.

" _Oh, my,"_ she had murmured as she stood beside his prone form. _"That's no good; I prefer it when men beg for their lives."_

The man had whimpered in fear but said nothing. Shaking her head with a sigh, Elsa had turned to her left and locked eyes with an eight-year-old girl. _"Meili, dear, it's time for your next lesson: how to ground up bones."_

Meili had never seen the appeal of torture, but she was now grateful for Elsa's teachings. Dropping the nutmeg to the floor, she raised her heel high and repeatedly smashed it downward, turning the spice into dust. She adjusted her smile as she admired a job well done.

Then, from behind her, she heard a small, "Well… I can't say I expected that."

Meili stiffened yet again as she recognized the shock, the disappointment in Leah's voice. She did something wrong, didn't she? This may not have been Mama, but it was _someone's_ Mama, right? She wasn't as loving as Meili's Mama, and Petra didn't seem scared, but what if –

"Not a nutmeg girl, I take it," Leah said with a shrug. "Next time, just let me know, all right?

With that, she continued cooking, gently instructing Meili along the way. In a daze, Meili obediently complied, barely managing to maintain her mask. After all, it was hard to keep her eyes dry when Leah was cutting onions.

Two weeks after Meili's initial arrival, Petra was marveling over Meili's braid. "How do you do it so cleanly?" she asked in awe. "I used to try doing my sister's hair, but it always got knotted."

With a smile, Meili said, "Elsa taught me!"

"That's your big sister, right?"

She nodded before plainly saying, "She raised me." The past was the past, and nothing more needed to be said about it. Changing the subject, she asked, "What about _your_ sister?"

Petra's eyes drooped ever-so-slightly as she asked, "What about her?"

With a shrug, Meili said, "Everything."

Petra blinked before letting out a giggle at the Meili-esque response. "Her name is Rebecca," she answered at length. "She was like a second mother and a best friend all in one. I miss her."

 _"That's just like Elsa!"_ Meili tried to reply but couldn't. She didn't know why. After all, Elsa was…

Elsa was none of those things. Assassins like Meili didn't deserve anyone, but she was selfish and took them anyway.

She was driven out of her thoughts when Petra somberly continued, "We were in Priestella a few years ago. Rebecca was right beside us, and a moment later, she was gone." Her voice lowered further. "No one had seen her go. We stayed an extra month looking for her, but she was nowhere to be found."

Priestella… That's the one with all the water, right? Meili hadn't done any jobs there, so she couldn't have killed Petra's sister. It was nice to know there was a chance they'd be reunited.

Then again, Priestella was one of Elsa's favorite hunting spots, so who knew?

"We go there three times a year to look for her," Petra said distantly, oblivious to Meili's musings. "My parents won't say it, but it's obvious they're just doing it for me."

Meili thought for a moment before lighting up with an idea. "We could go together!" she said excitedly. "My puppies are suuuper good at finding prey, so I'm sure we could find your sister!"

Petra's eyes widened. "You really mean it?" she breathed, ignoring the "prey" comment. She was somewhat used to Meili's strange mannerisms by now.

Meili nodded furiously. "We'll leave tomorrow morning," she declared. "So, pack looots of snacks, all right?"

With a grin, Petra left the room to ask her mother if she could go to Priestella. As expected, she was instantly shot down, but she did get a promise that they would all go together in a few weeks. Feeling better than she had in a long time, Petra went to tell Meili the good news…

…only to find an empty room.

As she anxiously searched the house for Meili, Petra couldn't help but feel like she lost another sister.

Unbeknownst to the others, Meili was dashing away from the house, running as fast as her short legs could carry her. Her communication mirror had become unbearably warm, which could only mean one thing:

Mama was calling her.

Meili didn't know what was coming, but as always, she was dreading her orders.

Come to think of it, Elsa might be back and waiting for her. Would Mama be mad that Elsa was giving attention to Meili and not her? Was Mama angry that Meili was living in the village, instead of near it? Maybe Meili was being called because she somehow violated the Gospel.

Perhaps Mama wanted some entertainment.

She shivered, but it wasn't from the chill of the night; the memories of Mama's torture were more than enough to freeze her heart solid.

 _"That's a good girl,"_ Mama had purred, but Meili had heard it from a hundred pairs of ears. _"You won't defy this lovely lady again, will you?"_

She hadn't been capable of responding, but her feelings were clear. She didn't want her consciousness split again. She didn't want to be torn apart and pieced back together. She didn't want to be turned into rabbits or snakes or rats or flies or dead balls of flesh. She just wanted to be _Meili_ , even if she didn't know who that was.

With a sinking feeling deep within her belly, she realized that she should have said goodbye to Petra before she left.

Without a sound, a slender figure dropped down from the trees. Coated in shadows, she brandished a silver knife and lunged towards Meili.

Thinking quickly, the young girl backed away from the slice and kicked off a nearby tree, flipping over the assailant and landing on their back. With a beastly growl, she bit down on the assailant's neck, tearing through the spinal cord.

The assailant halted but did not fall.

"Oh, my," came a silky voice. "It seems you managed to get me this time."

Meili huffed. "That's only cause you let meee," she grumbled. "I wish I was as strong as you, Elsa!"

Meili referred to Elsa as her sister, but that title was a placeholder; she had no idea what the dark-haired woman was. They were not friends, for Elsa had no friends. They were not accomplices, for they worked alone. They were not confidants, for trust was not in their vocabulary. They were not family, for they could only love Mama.

However, they had no one else, so they were sisters.

Like a mother cat to her kitten, Elsa picked Meili up by the nape of her neck and gently set her on the ground. "You'll get there," the dark-haired woman said with her ever-present smile. "I bet that someday, you'll even be able to kill me."

Instinctively, Meili matched that coquettish grin. "Strong enough to kill Elsa?" she whispered in awe. "I can't wait to do that!"

Elsa giggled, assuring the child, "Don't worry; on that fateful day, we'll have a fight that will go down in history."

Elsa versus Meili. Blades versus mabeasts. The Bowel Hunter versus the Beast Tamer. What a legendary showdown that would be…

But that was in the future. First, they needed to survive today.

A lithe figure sauntered out of the depths of the forest. Despite the crowded path, she moved with ease; it was as if the trees themselves shied away from her presence.

Blonde hair, like golden rays of sunlight. Ruby eyes, to make a jeweler drool. A figure to tempt the staunchest of soldiers. A being that terrified everyone unlucky enough to meet her.

The Sin Archbishop of Lust, Capella Emerada Lugunica.

Falling to their knees and bowing their heads, Elsa and Meili spoke in tandem. "Greetings, Mama."

There was no need for their usual light-hearted, sing-song demeanor. That showed happiness, and happiness begets love, and love should only be given to Mama.

Mama happily sighed at the adoration being thrust upon her. "Impeccable timing, as always," she said lightly. "And Elsa is here, too, having given a _fascinating_ report. This lovely lady is satisfied with both of your performances."

At her mercy, they could do nothing but murmur, "Thank you, Mama."

For a time, there was silence. Then, with excitement in her eyes, Mama announced, "The Gospel has spoken. Soon, the innocent shall perish."

Elsa's eyes gleamed as she looked up. "You always know how to excite me, Mama. Carve the target upon me, and your wish shall be granted."

A moment later, a tentacle pierced Elsa's heart, and she was thrown into the hedges. Meili stiffened but did not look up.

With a snarl, Mama shouted, " _Do not interrupt this lovely lady, worm! You already have your next assignment!"_

Elsa slid off the tentacle as her heart rapidly repaired itself. Her face flushed and she panted heavily, but she quickly regained her composure. Obediently and demurely, as if she weren't stabbed moments prior, she said, "As you wish, Mama. I am your humble servant and I love you."

Mama narrowed her eyes. "Remember that dragons breathe fire," she said coldly before turning to Meili.

Meili knew to not look up nor say anything off-script. "Your wish is my command, for I love you, Mama."

She would not make the same mistake as her sister.

Mama's face twisted into a mockery of a smile. "Good," she cooed. She leaned forward so that she was eye-level with Meili as if _daring_ the younger girl to look.

"The Gospel has spoken," she declared, echoing her earlier statement. "Soon, the mabeasts of the forest shall be unleashed unto the village, killing all the children. You shall orchestrate the attack."

Flatly, Meili said, "Yes, Mama."

But that's not what went through her head.

A slender finger curled under her chin, lifting it up to meet a pair of piercing rubies. "Hesitation," Mama murmured slowly as if tasting the sound. "It is not in your words, but your mind. Why does this lovely lady detect hesitation?"

Meili answered calmly, but there was a dissonance between her mind and her words.

 _'Because I told Petra that we'd go to Priestella.'  
_ "I would never hesitate to follow your orders, Mama."

But Mama saw Meili's inner thoughts. "Liar!" she screeched as her pupils narrowed to slits. "You _cannot_ lie to this lovely lady!"

Why? Why did Meili lie? She knew better than to even _consider_ disobeying Mama.

So, why did she lie?

_'Because I told Leah I'd help make dinner tomorrow. Because I don't want Joseph to look even sadder._ _'_

Meili had never lived in a home before. She had never had parents or siblings. She had Elsa, but that was different.

The Leyte family, on the other hand… Mere moments after arriving, they had accepted her. Leah had doted on her and had allowed her to taste-test her recipes. Joseph told silly jokes and had ruffled her hair. Petra was kind and had always played with her. Their family had experienced great loss, but they had taken in a waste of space like Meili, no questions asked. If anything, their grief had made them kinder.

Meili may not deserve a family, but the Leytes did.

It was decided. Her puppies could eat something else.

Glassy, olive-green orbs met angry, ruby slits. Meili had not answered immediately, so Mama dragged her nail down Meili's cheek, effortlessly opening the skin beneath.

The young girl didn't flinch, for it was a mere scratch. In an even tone, she said, "I'm not lying, Mama. I shall prepare my mabeasts."

She stood up and strode back towards Petra's house, already thinking of potential hideouts for the four of them. There was a cave system near Flanders that would work. Perhaps they could –

A great force slammed into her back, crushing her against a tree. Multiple ribs shattered on impact, and her arm threatened to tear itself out of its socket. Her limbs were a tangled mess of torn tendons and fractured bones.

Meili crashed to the ground and let slip a cry of pain. She widened her eyes but didn't have time to apologize for the unwanted noise. Even more furious than before, Mama came over and grasped Meili by the throat, seething, "You _dare_ stand before this lovely lady and continue to lie?! Do you remember what this lovely lady does to little girls like you?!"

Fear filled Meili as her eyes flicked to Elsa, silently begging for something, _anything_.

Elsa gripped her blade tight but said nothing. After all, there was nothing to say. Mama was invincible, immortal. To be under her watchful eye was a game of survival.

 _"If we face Mama,"_ Elsa had told her years ago, _"and it is a choice between your life and mine, you must choose your own."_

 _"But how… What?"_ she had stuttered, still unused to human speech. _"Wh-why?"_

With a soft smile, Elsa had confessed, _"Because I would choose my own life._ _That is_ _what it means to be an assassin."_

True to her word, Elsa had never chosen Meili.

From between her bosom, Mama pulled out a ruby-encrusted dagger. Using the blade of her dagger instead of her finger, she brought Meili's face towards her. She may have quelled the ferocity of her outburst, but the hatred in her eyes was as prominent as ever.

"This lovely lady smells love," she whispered, licking her lips upon seeing the fresh blood on Meili's face. "Pure, tender, familial love… but it is not directed at your Mama."

"It is," Meili insisted, hating how her voice wavered in pain and terror. "My love is for Mama and no one else."

 _"Do not show fear,"_ Elsa had told her, _"or Mama will kill you."_

Mama dragged the dagger down, scarring Meili's cheek and pressing it into her jugular. Blood trickled around the tip of the knife; a slip of the fingers and the young girl would no longer draw breath.

With hate in her ruby eyes, Lust spoke: "I will make sure that you never forget where your love belongs."

Meili opened her mouth to respond, but no words would come, only chirps. Dozens, hundreds of squawks and cries shrieking in an off-beat dissonance. Her mind was not one, but a thousand, spread apart into a flock of vultures.

She wanted to go back, but her mind was no longer capable of wanting. There was only a need, an instinctual desire to end her suffering.

For multiple minutes, or perhaps an eternity, she flew about in torturous pain and confusion. Eventually, Mama took pity on her, and she was turned back into the likeness of a human.

An empty shell. An imitation of a person.

Distantly, she heard, "Will you prove your love and follow the Gospel?"

But her mind was reeling, and she could not answer.

"So be it."

Mama ran her hands up and down Meili's sides, making the terrified girl shiver. She wished more than ever that her dress hadn't been torn to shreds when she was thrown into the tree. She no longer had protection from Mama's violation.

Then again, it wasn't like clothes had ever stopped Mama before.

She trembled in fear and pain as Mama's cold, dead hands once again sunk ever lower, penetrating a forbidden place. Meili didn't understand why it felt so _wrong_ , but she hated it every time it happened. It made her feel gross, nasty, violated, _ruined_.

She tried to keep her face blank – as her training demanded, for she was merely providing her loving Mama what was owed – but it was impossible when Mama's hands turned to claws, scraping her innards.

 _'Please, Elsa,'_ she silently begged, trying to stifle the inevitable yelp of pain. She failed, and Mama's claws sharpened, puncturing the walls. She cried even louder, and the vicious cycle repeated. _'Break your rules, just this once!'_

But Elsa did not move. She merely averted her eyes, unable to watch her little sister's torture.

Eventually, Mama removed her hand and began slowly licking Meili's blood off her fingers. The young girl, despite nearly vomiting at the sight, sighed in relief, for Mama was kind and had stopped her assault.

Then, Mama took out her ruby-encrusted dagger, and Meili finally let the tears fall.

_'Worthless. Disgusting. A toy. A killer.'_

A plaything for Mama.

Minutes, or perhaps hours later, Mama roughly tore the knife out from inside Meili's core, causing the girl to scream in pain yet again. "Let's try this once more," Mama said quietly to the still-tremoring Meili. Her face was blank, but a gleam of excitement remained in her eyes. "Will you wreak havoc upon the village children, as this lovely lady requested?"

Dead. Pain. Cold. Empty. Worthless. Nothing. She was a slave whose only purpose was to serve her loving Mama.

Even so, one thought refused to leave her mind, and one sentence would inevitably leave her mouth.

 _'I will never hurt that family, even if you torture me a thousand times.'  
_ "It will be as you wish, Mama."

Mama's ruby eyes turned colder than normal, and before Meili knew it, she could no longer see. She could no longer think or feel. She was gone, dead. She was nothing but a ball of flesh, immobile on the ground. No sentience, no sapience. No life, no sensation.

She was dead.

Eventually, Meili became Meili once more – or perhaps for the first time – and she took a deep breath with her patched-together lungs.

Not dead. Not flesh. Just a waste of life, as always.

"You have one last chance," Mama snarled. "Kill. The. Village. Children."

Unable to hold herself up, Meili collapsed to her hands and knees, skin pallid and sweaty. She didn't know where she was or why she was here. All she knew was that she didn't want to die. She told Petra that they would braid their hair together.

She didn't know why she cared so much, but she _did_. They were _good people_ , and they didn't deserve to lose another daughter.

Meili could not speak, but Mama heard it all the same. However, instead of beginning another round of torture, Mama froze. Growing another tentacle, she stabbed herself in the chest, tearing out that cursed book for the second time.

"The Gospel speaks," she whispered reverently. "The Witch's love has been bestowed upon this lovely lady."

Opening the blasphemous book and flipping through the pages at unfathomable speeds, she paused as her desired future was revealed. "How fascinating," she murmured. "The village children shall live. I shall accompany Elsa on her mission to attain the Witch Factor. The Witch's love shall not be questioned."

She closed the book with a satisfied smile as it returned to her flesh. With nary a word, she turned to Meili…

" _Ah!"_

…and embedded her dagger into the girl's shoulder.

"Do not worry," she said soothingly, as she reveled in Meili's pathetic whimpers. "This dagger will not be used to kill an insignificant _worm_."

 _'Do not beg,'_ Meili reminded herself furiously. _'Do not plead. Do not cry.'_

She didn't want to go through that again.

But Mama smelled the fear, and it excited her, aroused her. It was a feeling reserved for when she was about to silence a plea for love. With a lewd smile, she declared, "Simple asphyxiation will do. Is that not a fitting fate for a broken toy?"

A tentacle snaked its way around Meili's neck and she gave in to her fear, begging for her life. As her vision began to fade, she used her final breath to beg for help…

...and a knife stabbed Mama between the shoulder blades.

Meili dropped to the base of the tree, stopping her shoulder's blood flow with her hand. A searing heat blazed beside her as she shot up and darted far, far, _far away._ Every step inflamed her broken leg and damaged lungs, but there was no time for pain, only running past the danger.

Past the controlled, dark flames of a dragon. Past the forest. Past Petra's home. Past Arlam Village. Past the Lord's mansion. Past civilization.

From the wild she was raised, and to the wild she returned. It was only after she collapsed from a combination of exhaustion, pain, and blood loss that she realized what had happened.

Elsa had saved her.

 _"Because I would choose my own life,_ " Elsa had said. _"That's what it means to be an assassin."_

"Then, why?" Meili croaked, desperate for an answer. "Why save me?"

Elsa Granhiert. The Bowel Hunter. The deadliest assassin. The heartless killer. The woman who stood there and watched as Meili was carved out from the inside.

Did she… care about Meili?

Meili had never cried herself to sleep before, but there was a first time for everything.

When she came to, she realized just how _weak_ she felt. Drowsily, she took off her cape and wrapped it around her destroyed shoulder. She was surprised she could move her arm at all, considering how close the knife came to piercing her joint. Her hand was most certainly immobile.

Walking was almost impossible. She had been moving on pure adrenaline, but now, the bones in her leg were threatening to pierce her skin. Her core, instead of being filled with scratches like it normally would, was now nearly torn to shreds. The slightest movement of her hips threatened to bring her to her knees. She'd need to be quite careful and let it rest in case she needed to run from Mama again.

The gashes on her face, neck, and arms weren't as critical, though they needed to be washed, lest she risk infection. So, before anything else, she needed to find water. With bleary eyes, she took note of her surroundings.

She was in a vast, misty field. Stalks of barley grew all around her as the dawn's rays clashed brilliantly with the flora. If she strained her ears, she could hear the trickle of a stream nearby.

No civilization was in sight. She was safe from the rumor mill. That was one defense against Mama.

She still had her stick, but her gloves and hair tie were left at Petra's. She could use the stick to help her walk, and perhaps as a weapon if need be.

Luckily, her communication mirror had been shattered upon impact with the tree. That was good; Mama couldn't use it to track her.

As she slowly and painfully stumbled her way to the stream, she couldn't help but think of the villagers; it was mostly the Leytes if she was being honest. Mama followed the Gospel, and the Gospel said to leave them be. So, they were safe. That was good.

But Elsa…

 _'Why did you save me, Sister?'_ she couldn't help but think.

It was then that Meili realized that she would have saved her sister, too. It was… strange, to realize how much she cared.

Did Elsa feel the same? Did she care?

There was no _way_ she cared. She broke the rules to prevent death, but not torture? What about all the other times Meili could have been free? Why bring her to Mama in the first place?

Why did Elsa save her life?

Her questions would remain unanswered. All she knew was that Elsa was hurt.

The elder assassin was not dead, of course. Mama had a job for her, meaning the Gospel had given instructions. Mama would _never_ disobey the Gospel. Therefore, Elsa was not killed.

But those flames… Elsa's abilities as a Curse Doll only went so far. Her next assignment would be her last.

Coming upon the gently flowing stream, Meili greedily drank from it. The wetness on her cheeks was merely the result of the water splashing across her face.

Somewhat satiated, she tried to sit down and ended up falling on her back, hitting her head against a rock. In her state, running from Mama would be impossible. She needed to find some mabeasts; they might give her a chance to escape.

However, that was not the only reason. With no Elsa, friends, nor mabeasts, Meili was a shell of herself. No levity, no joy. Just survival. She needed others to feel alive.

…That was a lie. She never felt alive. She just felt less dead in the company of others, and even then, it was a mask.

Even so, it was better than nothing. So, with her Divine Protection of Mana Manipulation, she cried for help.

For two days and nights, she waited. She had no food, only water. She was weak and losing strength, but she could not go to the village. If news came about of a strange, purple-haired girl wandering alone, then Mama would kill her. Meili didn't want to die. She wanted to make new friends, meet new mabeasts.

Could she even make new friends if she couldn't go near civilization? She hoped so. Maybe she could find that "special person" that Petra always talked about, even if she didn't know what that meant. Was it like Elsa's "special bowels," which would finally provide the warmth she sought?

There was no time for such simple thoughts. She needed food, but the critters nearby were too quick, and she could barely walk. She had no weapon aside from her stick. She needed a mabeast, and fast.

Her prayers were answered on the third day when a small mabeast appeared before her. For the first time in what felt like forever, a semblance of light returned to Meili's eyes.

"Hey there," she cooed. "You're such a cuuutie, aren't you?"

It didn't look like the strongest creature, but even a rabbit should be able to catch a few rodents. Gently coaxing it to come closer, she said, "It's okay. I won't hurt you."

A moment later, she blinked in confusion. Were there two rabbits a few moments ago? Or… twelve?

She grinned as she realized what this was. The Great Rabbit jumped at her, but with a mere swish of her stick, she bopped it on its cute little horn, stunning all of them. As if unsure of what to do, it remained frozen. With an excited gleam in her eyes, Meili bent down…

…and bit its horn right off.

The other Rabbits began to eat each other, ignoring Meili. Eventually, there was only one left, and it didn't attack her.

With a satisfied smile, she cradled her new friend in her arms like a newborn, saying, "We're gonna be a _great_ team, Rabby!"

Its fur was freezing cold, but that was fine. Rabby was loyal and would only give hugs when she asked for them. That was enough to bring a semblance of warmth to her empty soul.

The following month was somewhat boring, but it was easier. Food was no longer an issue, for Rabby gave her lots of prey; she turned down any human meat, so she mostly ate scraps, but she occasionally had some venison. In turn, she let Rabby eat whatever it wanted. A couple of nearby villages may have been wiped out, but that was expected. Death was merely the end of life. As long as Rabby stayed away from Arlam Village, she was fine.

Every two days, she changed locations. After all, she couldn't have Mama discovering her.

She stayed awake most nights, cuddling Rabby; she couldn't bear the nightmares that came when she was alone. Even so, its frozen fur made the night air even colder. How was Elsa okay with wearing so little? Was it because she never got cold? Was it because she was fine revealing herself? Was it because Mama wasn't interested in adults? Was it because Meili was a bad girl? Was it because Mama was bored and –

Meili buried her face in Rabby's neck. Even having company wasn't always enough to stave off images of Mama. A little sleep deprivation would be fine, right?

She stayed up for three nights straight. She wished she had lasted longer.

A month later, she gathered enough courage to make her way through a nearby village. Keeping her head down, she stealthily listened in on a few conversations, hoping to hear word of Elsa.

Nothing. Not a single exploit or assassination had been discussed. Like a slash to her bowels, Meili realized that her initial assumption was right; her sister was dead. Still, she would ask around for confirmation; closure was important, after all. Even so…

_'Did you care about me?'_

…she would never be able to ask that question, and it would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Her feelings were a mess. She expected to feel nothing, of course. Death was merely the end of life. There was nothing sad about it, yet she had the strangest feeling that her face looked like Petra's did when the village girl talked about her missing sister.

But that was then, and this was now. Meili was Meili, and as long as she was beside a friend or two, she would keep smiling. It wouldn't do to make others sad.

Three months had passed since her initial escape. She had lost most of her feeling in her right arm, but she could still move it fairly well. Her hand and fingers were immobile, of course, but large movements, like scooping up Rabby, weren't too difficult.

Skinning an animal, on the other hand, was nigh-impossible; she could hold up the scraps easily enough by locking them between her forearm and shoulder, but she was used to doing it with her dominant hand. It was almost impossible to learn how to use her non-dominant hand, but she did, for she was a survivor.

Her leg, on the other hand, was almost unusable. Perhaps it could have healed, but her escape from Mama prevented that. She didn't know of any healers good enough to fix a break this bad. Now, she made her way around in a strange mix of a limp and dragging her leg, moving forward with sheer determination.

Her other injuries had healed up quite nicely, albeit not aesthetically. It was a bit hard to see her reflection in the streams, but she could tell they left some nasty scars.

Meili didn't mind scars, though she couldn't help but wonder how others felt about them. One quiet night, she asked Rabby, "You don't care that I have scars, do you?"

Of course, it didn't care. Meili allowed it to eat, and she had broken its horn. Scarred or not, it was more loyal to her than anything else.

That was enough for Meili.

Satisfied with the non-answer, she smiled and bit into some raw rat meat. After all, she couldn't cook it; lighting a fire would create smoke, and that would reveal her location to Mama.

Two days later, Meili shifted locations yet again, making her way to the fields near the Flugel Tree. It provided some nice shade, and the stars were pretty to watch from beneath the branches.

It was there that she found the second Great Mabeast.

A great mist came down from the skies as a howl of hunger filled the air. The White Whale, a monstrosity that had been on a nonstop rampage for four hundred years, descended upon Lugunica to wreak havoc once more.

Meili didn't care about the threat it presented. She spread her arms wide and cheered, "Whaley! You're so cuuute!"

The White Whale paid her no mind. She couldn't control it – it was too powerful, and she couldn't break its horn – but it would not attack her. So, she followed it. After all, it was another layer of protection against Mama.

For two weeks, the White Whale circled the Flugel Tree. It was often hidden by the mist, but sometimes it would peek out at her, as if curious about the fearless girl. She constantly sent out signals to it with her Divine Protection, making sure it stayed close. It was not obligated to listen, but it respected her wishes nonetheless.

Even so, the situation was dire. Rabby had eaten all the food in the area, so Meili hadn't eaten in a while. It was becoming harder to drag herself to a water source, and she was no longer able to change locations every two days. All she could do was keep up her vigilant watch and hope that her mabeasts would be enough.

Then _he_ came. The man with the scary eyes.

He said he helped kill Elsa. She couldn't find it in herself to blame him, for there was no way Elsa would die normally. No, it was all Mama's fault. Mama had greatly weakened Elsa, after all.

 _'That's okay,'_ she reminded herself, albeit with more bitterness than normal. _'Death is merely the end of life.'_

She couldn't help but think that the man was a bit strange; after all, he said that she didn't need Rabby and Whaley. He acted like he could do better than her mabeasts. She didn't believe it, of course. No one could rival two Great Mabeasts.

Then, he lied to her. He said that Mama was dead.

Impossible. Mama was immortal, untouchable. That dreaded knife was solid evidence, of course, but it wasn't enough. If she followed him and Mama found out…

A test. She would test him. What could go wrong?

Deep within the mist, she watched with fascination as he stood toe-to-toe with the Great Rabbit. She watched as he destroyed it with a massive soldier of shadow and stared wide-eyed as the White Whale disintegrated. She felt the slightest pang of grief at Rabby and Whaley's demise but got over it quickly. After all, death was merely the end of life.

Even so, she felt useless. She couldn't protect herself, and she couldn't protect her mabeasts.

…But could this man protect her?

The shadow golem disappeared into nothingness, and the man appeared in front of her. He did not go to his commander, or to rest. He did not rush to receive his award.

He went to _her_.

Kneeling before her so he was at eye-level, he quietly affirmed, "Capella is dead."

She saw the sincerity in his eyes. She knew the truth in his actions. He would not lie to her.

Mama was gone forever.

She didn't know how to feel about that. Relieved, maybe. Useless, perhaps. Mama was likely killed immediately after Elsa, meaning that Meili was on the run for no reason. What was next? Did Petra's sister come home on her own, too? Was there no need to go to Priestella?

Meili really _was_ worthless, wasn't she?

She deserved to be on the run for listening to Mama. She had no choice but to listen to Mama. Elsa was dead. This man helped kill her. Elsa tried to kill him. Death was merely the end of life. This person was strong. He could protect her. She didn't deserve his protection. He offered it anyway.

On and on, her mind tumbled. She didn't know how to handle such a situation. All she knew were her mabeasts and how to follow orders. She should run away, go curl up and die somewhere. She should –

On the verge of desperation, the man pleaded, "Come with me, Meili. Let me protect you."

Right before her eyes, Subaru Natsuki wept like a child.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, utterly broken. "I know I don't deserve to help you. I know you deserve much better than me. I still don't know why I…"

He clenched and unclenched his fists before taking a deep breath and placing his hands on her arms. She tensed, but no nails dug into her skin. His fingers did not creep lower. His eyes did not tear hatefully into her soul. All he did was take a deep breath and whisper, "I care about you, Meili."

She didn't understand. She didn't know why he wanted to help her. She didn't know why he worked so hard for a killer like her. What was his ulterior motive? He had one – that much was obvious – but there was more to it.

Did he _actually_ care about her? He _said_ he did, but so did Mama.

She looked into his dark eyes and saw the answer; he looked at her like Leah and Joseph looked at Petra.

Subaru cared about Meili.

_'Someone cares about me.'_

…Had Elsa cared about her?

Elsa vowed to never help Meili. Elsa saved Meili's life at the cost of her own, and those contradicting philosophies tore the young girl apart. She didn't know what to believe.

With a shiver of fear, she remembered Mama's knife tearing her up from the inside. As always, Elsa had stood by and watched.

Why hadn't Elsa saved her? Why hadn't Elsa let her die? Why had Elsa broken those rules?

Meili _never_ wanted to be a rule-breaker like that, lest it hurt someone as it hurt her.

 _"Did Elsa care about me?"_ was a question with no answer, for Elsa did not know how to care. She only had a will to survive.

But Subaru… She was almost positive he cared about her. She didn't know _why_ someone would care for a broken toy like her, but he _did_.

She searched his dark eyes and felt an unfamiliar warmth. This strange feeling in her belly… Was this what people called "trust"?

The way Subaru gazed at her was unfathomable. It was filled with unending guilt, like he had hurt her and could never forgive himself – how odd, when she had hurt him mere moments after meeting him. His gaze was full of love and affection; first and foremost, he wanted to protect her.

She wanted to learn more about this wonderful man who risked his life for her. She needed to atone for the pain she caused him.

He saw her as a daughter. She didn't know who he was.

More than anything, though, she wanted to be by his side.

For the first time, she dropped her mask around another person. She let the tears fall as she threw her arms around him, gripping him like a lifeline. Her left arm, held together by sheer willpower, popped out of its socket and fell limp around his shoulders. Her disfigured leg, torn asunder from overuse, finally collapsed in on itself.

That was fine. He would take care of her.

Elsa's hands were always cold when they sparred. Subaru's embrace was warm and thrummed with life as he cradled her to his chest.

She was always on her guard around Elsa. She felt safe in Subaru's arms.

With her tears soaking his shirt, Meili whispered two words, meant for him and him alone:

"Thank you."


	25. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering the graphic descriptions of Meili's torture last chapter, I've decided to bump the rating to M. Read with caution.
> 
> Next week might not have a chapter. I want to get a bit ahead in writing. I hope you understand.
> 
> Reminder that Felt was given the name Freya in Chapter 19.
> 
> Now, this story has its ups and downs. Sometimes, the characters descend to rock bottom and need to climb their way out. Sometimes, they get a bit of a reprieve, and it feels earned because they worked their hardest to get here. This chapter is an example of the latter.
> 
> The Discord link is in Chapter 1.
> 
> Special thanks to my fiancé for being the center of our own little family.

Reinhard van Astrea. Wilhelm Trias. One was born into a bloodline of sorrow, while the other had married into and rejected it.

Both were broken by fate, yet there they stood, facing each other.

There was so much to say. There was nothing to say. They wanted to be a family. They had no family.

According to the Dragon Tablet, the Emilia Camp defeated the White Whale. Credit also went to the Freya and Crusch Camps for Reinhard and Wilhelm respectively, of course, but none of them finished the Whale off.

Even so, their victory boosted Freya and Crusch's popularity tremendously. That was wonderful; the two knights had dedicated their lives to their lieges and would do anything to see them on the throne.

But as their Camps were celebrating, they noticed that something was wrong.

They were two loyal, stubborn, sorrowful men… but they were also utterly befuddled. At that moment, neither were thinking of their liege, but of a woman with long, flowing red hair.

Theresia van Astrea. The previous Sword Saint. Reinhard's grandmother. Wilhelm's wife.

Wilhelm alone had torn out the White Whale's eyes with relative ease. Theresia was hundreds of times stronger than him, even without her Divine Protection of the Sword Saint.

Now, the White Whale was absurdly powerful. There was a reason that it had persisted so long. To say that the Whale stood no chance was not downplaying its strength; it was merely a testament to Theresia's extraordinary capabilities.

So, how did she lose?

One thing was for sure; it was not the fault of the young man in front of him.

Bowing his head in shame and self-loathing, he said, "I am sorry, my grandson. I'm sorry for everything."

Reinhard was stuck between embarrassment and confusion. "I do not understand," he confessed. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

Wilhelm had a simple answer, yet it filled him with shame and dishonor. "I apologize for blaming you for my wife's untimely demise," he said strongly. He would not speak quietly, for that would be hiding from his mistakes.

After all, Wilhelm was an _Astrea_ , and Astreas did not hide from their failures.

"You see it," he continued, "as do I. The Divine Protection of the Sword Saint would not have been a deciding factor in your grandmother's defeat."

A lump formed in Reinhard's throat. He could not accept such kindness. "Even so, if there were another foe, that power would have helped her win the fight, and I took it from her."

_"Grandmother is dead because of me."_

Then, something strange happened. Something unfathomable.

Wilhelm put a firm hand on Reinhard's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. Begrudgingly, Wilhelm admitted, "We are no longer certain of the circumstances surrounding Theresia's death. It would be a folly to blame you." A shadow covered his eyes. "No, it was _always_ a folly to blame an innocent child."

Reinhard was six during the incident. He had no way of knowing. Perhaps Wilhelm needed someone to blame for his _own_ failure to save his wife.

 _"It's your fault she's dead!"_ he had shouted, spittle flying into the face of his own grandchild. Terrified, sky-blue eyes had stared back up at him, filling him with fury. He had scoffed in disgust, turning away from the eyes he would never see again. _"I can't even look at you,"_ he had spat before leaving the Astrea family forever.

Wilhelm was the Sword Demon, but perhaps it was more apt to refer to him simply as a Demon.

Reinhard, to his credit, had managed to keep his composure despite his tumultuous emotions. Bitterly, he thought, _'I should not accept such kindness. Even if you change your mind about me, Grandmother is still dead.''_

And yet, he did accept it. It wasn't because his grandfather's actions were okay. It was because he would sooner forgive his drunkard father than himself.

But… perhaps he could allow himself to get to know Wilhelm van Astrea.

On the other side of the encampment, beneath the Flugel Tree, the Emilia Camp gathered inside the infirmary tent. It was fairly standard, filled with rows of identical, utilitarian cots. Practical, just like the woman who commissioned it.

Crusch had wanted to convene with the Emilia Camp, but Subaru refused to do anything until Meili was healed. With a contemplative frown, Emilia couldn't help but wonder about the strange girl. She knew that Subaru couldn't cross the Augria Sand Dunes without help, but she didn't know why he believed Meili to be the key. Emilia had asked him about it once and, with a bitter gaze full of regret, he had said, _"I can't tell you."_

For what felt like the thousandth time, she wondered what her knight had been doing before they met… and why it tortured him so.

Even so, that wasn't the strangest thing. No, it was the way he looked at the girl that piqued Emilia's curiosity. There was a willingness to protect, familial affection, and _guilt_. It was as if he had personally harmed Meili, and the memory caused him excruciating pain.

And yet, they had never met. Emilia already knew he couldn't tell her what it meant, so she did not ask. It would only hurt him.

Meili's disfigured arm and leg had given out on her, so Subaru had cradled her in his arms and brought her straight to Felix. With a steely gaze, he had firmly said, _"Heal her. She is your number one priority. Ask no questions."_

Felix hated those who gave up, and by extension, hated Subaru for attempting suicide. As such, Emilia expected Felix to give a sharp rebuttal or even flat-out refuse. He did neither of those things. He simply gave Subaru an odd look and nodded slowly.

Many of the other patients gave Meili strange looks – a child on the battlefield was quite unusual, after all – but there was no hostility. It seemed that the others didn't realize Meili had brought the Great Rabbit. That was… good? Emilia still wasn't sure what to think of the girl, but if Subaru said she could be trusted… Well, he always seemed to know the truth about things like this, so she would give the girl a chance.

Felix reached out to take the young girl from Subaru's arms, but they clung to each other in a vice grip. Subaru wouldn't _dare_ leave her with someone he didn't have absolute faith in. Felix would simply have to work around it.

Despite everything, Emilia couldn't help but smile. He really _was_ good with children. Perhaps in a few years, when they were a bit older –

"Hmph," came a disgruntled voice from beside her. "Betty doesn't see what's so special about the purple thing, I suppose."

Pushing her thoughts out of her mind, Emilia turned to face Beatrice with mirth in her eyes. "Is someone jealous?" she teased. "There's a reason he calls himself the Lolimancer, you know."

With existential pain, Beatrice groaned, "Not you, too! Is there no hope for Betty's sanity, I wonder?"

At their side, Rem giggled. She was covered in blood and smelled like the intestines of the White Whale, but she looked more confident than anyone had ever seen. "Don't worry, Lady Beatrice," she said lightly. "You're still Subaru's favorite daughter."

For a moment, the blonde spirit silently gaped at Rem. Then, she cried out, _"Betty is not his daughter, I suppose!_ Betty is older than her Daddy, in fact!"

Everyone froze and slowly turned to face Beatrice. Grumpy and unaware of what she had said, she scathingly asked, "What is it, I wonder? Betty is cute, but it is rude to stare, in fact!"

Subaru's face was beet-red, but he was grinning from ear-to-ear. "Oh, it's nothing," he said airily. "We're all just thinking about how awesome you were out there."

With a huff, she haughtily responded, "Of course, I was, I suppose. Subaru's Betty is a great spirit, and I'm stronger than I've ever been before, in fact. It's only natural that my performance was impeccable."

"Absolutely incredible," he asserted. "I love you, Beako. You make me happy to be alive."

She tried to continue glaring but failed miserably. "B-Betty loves her Subaru, too, in fact."

With Beatrice temporarily mollified, he turned his attention back to Felix, asking, "Will Meili be okay?"

Felix didn't pause in his actions, but he indicated for Subaru to lean in as he began to whisper. With every passing second, Subaru became more and more furious; he was practically steaming by the end of it. He wrapped his arms around Meili tightly and repeatedly mumbled "she's already gone." She buried her face in his chest and scrunched up his shirt in her fists. It was unclear who was comforting whom.

After Felix finished his explanation, Subaru closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, flatly, he said, "Physically, you healed her, correct?"

Felix gave a sharp nod. "She'll be fine," he asserted, looking over Meili's newly healed leg and arm, "but she's malnourished. Don't let her skip any meals. Also, she should nyot walk for a week and should avoid lifting things. Because of the way her limbs improperly healed, I had to disintegrate many of her bones and recreate them from scratch."

Meili – who was surprisingly calm, all things considered – asked in awe, "How did you do that, Mister?"

Patiently, Felix explained, "That level of healing is nyot for beginners."

She pouted, looking disappointed. "Awww, but disintegrating bones sounded so useful!"

He looked a bit uneasy, but Subaru's challenging glare prevented him from saying anything. So, instead of commenting, he turned to Subaru with a slight smile – not a hint of his previous disdain remained. Holding out a hand, the demi-human said, "I'm glad to have been of assistance. My name is Felix Argyle, and I'm the favored knight of Lady Crusch Karsten. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Subaru eyed the offered hand warily as he pointed out, "We've already met."

Felix shook his head. "Last week, I met a coward who gave up on life. Right nyow, I'm meeting a man who nyot only played a large part in defeating the White Whale but also vanquished the Great Rabbit. A man who did not stand down in the face of danger but faced it head-on. A man who placed a child before himself." With a strong voice unbefitting his typical playful demeanor, he declared, "I would be honored to be friends with such a person."

Subaru was contemplative for a moment before reaching out and shaking Felix's hand. With confidence, he said, "It would be my pleasure, Sir Felix. I am Subaru Natsuki, the one and only knight of Lady Emilia."

With clasped hands and mutual respect, the two knights nodded to each other before Felix moved on to his other patients.

"I suppose some congratulations are in order," came a new voice, gently brushing past the retreating Felix. Crusch Karsten, in all her battle-hardened glory, gave them a tired yet satisfied smile. "Two of the three Great Mabeasts defeated in a single battle, and we only prepared for one. Not to mention the incredible displays of power…"

She gave a deep bow unbefitting her station and proclaimed, "Once again, we are in your debt."

Politely, Emilia said, "And us to you. We couldn't have done it without you, Crusch."

With a guffaw, Crusch straightened her back and said, "Please, I stood there and shot a bit of light at a slow, massive target. My Camp's contribution was mostly Wilhelm."

"A large contribution indeed," Emilia responded. "Don't forget your oration, either. The battle would have gone quite differently without your leadership skills."

Their back-and-forth went on for a few more verses before Crusch turned to Subaru. She raised an eyebrow as if to ask, _"Why is there a child on your back?"_

Subaru gave her a blank look, which they all translated as, _"Questions about her are off-limits."_

Out loud, Crusch eventually said, "That was a fascinating display of magic. I've never heard of such a spell before."

"That's because my spirit and I made it up," he informed her, much to her astonishment.

Beatrice gave him a sideways look. "I don't remember this, I suppose."

"It was a couple of weeks ago," he informed her. "You just don't remember it."

She scowled, scathingly saying, "Betty has a flawless memory, and Betty does not remember playing any part in creating that spell, meaning it didn't happen, in fact."

"Ah, my bad," he said airily. "Forgive your hopeless contractor for his transgressions."

She glared at him but did not respond.

Hiding a laugh at the byplay, Crusch said, "Nonetheless, it's impressive. Once again, I must thank you for your significant contribution. May we fight alongside one another again in the future."

With that, she turned to leave, causing Subaru to panic. "Wait!" he cried out abruptly. "You can't go! None of you can!"

Crusch raised an eyebrow at his sudden display of emotion. "And why not?" she asked evenly.

Emphatically, he told her, "You'll be attacked by a foe you can't defeat. I _can't_ let you go."

Her gaze pierced his. Slowly, she said, "Not only do you have knowledge of an attack, but one that would demolish my entire military force?"

He hesitated. He was not lying and she knew it. She just didn't believe he was right.

 _'Then again,'_ he mused, _'Things could be different.'_

Events had drastically changed, and Regulus was gone. Would Gluttony's Gospel still command him to attack Crusch's caravan?

…He wouldn't risk it.

In lieu of answering, he firmly said, "We haven't asked for any rewards or anything in return except for an alliance. I now demand that you come with us and help in our next battle instead of returning to the capital."

For what felt like an eternity, the Valkyrie and the Slayer of Sin Archbishops stared each other down. It was almost blasphemous; alliance or not, someone of Subaru's station had no right to ask anything of a Royal Selection candidate, _especially_ one that wasn't his liege.

However, Crusch had long since realized that if someone on Subaru's "protect list" was in danger, he tossed everything else to the side, protocol included. She wasn't sure how, but she had made her way onto that list.

With a long-suffering sigh, Crusch asked Emilia, "Does he do this often?"

Torn between perseverating over Subaru's unexpected warning and being amused at Crusch's question, Emilia answered, "All the time. He's never been wrong."

"Then I suppose I have no choice."

For the next five minutes, Crusch listened as Subaru detailed a plan involving very specific people and movements. Emilia had heard the plan before, of course, but it was fascinating to see him change his plans on the spot to accommodate his new allies.

It was also amusing to see Crusch's eyes widen to impossible proportions, but she would never say that aloud.

They ironed out the rest of their plan, feeling a bit nervous. Crusch would be facing an unknown and powerful foe. Subaru was uncertain about whether True Face would work against an unwilling participant. Emilia was about to see the man that was the closest thing to a father she ever had.

In spite of such formidable obstacles, they were confident, for they had proved to themselves that they could overcome insurmountable odds.

To Subaru, Crusch asked, "What do you suppose I should do about the families of my soldiers? If we are not punctual in our return, they shall assume the worst."

He thought for a moment before he realized, "Beatrice can relay a message for you guys. Just give her a letter and she'll teleport."

Crusch let out a low whistle, saying, "Teleportation magic is quite advanced, and at such a distance, it would require incredible power."

Grumbling at how people weren't paying attention, Beatrice interjected, "Betty has said she is more powerful than ever before, in fact. This is insignificant to a magical girl like Betty, I suppose." She blinked. "Wait, did I just –"

Her contractor smirked. "Use a Subaruism? Yes, you did."

She growled and demanded that Crusch write a letter explaining what happened as soon as possible lest her contractor find himself with one less appendage. She did not specify which one.

Mere moments after Beatrice and Crusch left, Emilia muttered, "Well, that wasn't very nice of Beatrice. She should be more considerate of me."

Subaru gave her a sideways look. "Don't you mean 'of you'?"

"I know what I said."

Rem, who had already glared at Beatrice, scrambled over and covered Meili's ears as she scolded, "There is a child here! Do not ruin her innocence with your innuendos!"

With a pout, Meili shook the hands off her and said, "Hey, I'm not a kid! I know all about cutting off appendages!"

Hearing that, Emilia wanted nothing more than to ask what that poor girl had been through, but a quick look from Subaru stymied any questions.

She shivered as those determined eyes fell upon her. She knew she had more power than him, but he was kind of scary when there was someone he wanted to protect. She wasn't sure she could actually defeat him, especially when he wore that expression.

At that moment, Emilia truly realized that Meili _meant_ something to Subaru. She wasn't merely a way to reach Shaula; she was someone he considered part of his family.

As to why, Emilia would never know.

 _'But that's okay,'_ she reminded herself. _'If he thinks that she's worth protecting, then she is.'_

With that, she vowed to protect Meili as well. She gave Subaru a smile, letting him know that she would trust his judgment on this, as always.

…Even if Meili said some pretty scary things.

Changing the subject, Emilia asked, "Rem, have you heard from Ram yet?"

Shaking her head, Rem answered, "Sister has given no warnings of Sloth's presence, though I'm experiencing a deep sense of loneliness from her."

Subaru grimaced. "She must be missing Ros," he grumbled in distaste. "So, the bastard already left, even without our letter. I don't get it; why is he in such a hurry to get to the Sanctuary?"

Rem gave him a sideways look but didn't bother asking. They all knew it was a lost cause. Instead, she told him, "We can leave now if you want. With Patrasche's speed, we can get to Arlam Village in a couple of hours."

Meili perked up. "We're going to Arlam?" she asked, her happiness evident. "I want to see Petra!"

Ruffling her hair, Subaru said, "And you'll be able to. Might be a bit hectic for a few days, though; we're expecting some unwelcome guests."

Helpfully, she informed him, "There are some reeaally cute Wol-Wols in the forest. They can help kill your guest!"

He shifted uncomfortably. "That _probably_ won't work out," he said awkwardly, "for, uh many reasons. Look, your job is to stay safe, all right?"

She deflated for an instant before brightening again. "That's okay. I know you'll protect me."

Dramatically, he clutched his heart as he choked out, "The trust… The cuteness… It's too much!"

At that moment, Beatrice popped back in. She narrowed her eyes at Subaru as she scathingly remarked, "Betty is ashamed that her contractor has degraded to targeting minors with his risqué escapades, in fact."

Subaru couldn't help but sputter at the accusation, so Meili chimed in and introduced herself before asking, "What's your name, Miss?"

Beatrice glared at the younger girl as she growled, "Betty is Subaru's Betty, in fact. Remember that, I suppose."

Meili nodded sagely. "That makes me Subaru's Meili, right?"

The two stared each other down – Beatrice with envy and Meili with faux-innocence – before Beatrice noticed the teasing glint in the latter's eyes. Stomping her feet, she snarled, "You're messing with Betty, aren't you? You're just as bad as her Subaru, in fact!"

Subaru shook his head at the rivalry before changing the subject. "We should head back now," he suggested. "It'd be good to get some rest and prepare."

It was a fair idea, but Emilia didn't think she'd be able to sleep.

She would see Father Juice again. The man she was about to face was _not_ Juice, but Sloth.

Of course, she had her usual questions. How did Subaru know about Juice going mad a hundred years ago when he had passed away over four hundred years ago? More importantly, how did he have the Witch Factor of Sloth – and Greed, for that matter – while their respective Archbishops were still alive?

It was a strange dichotomy; she trusted her knight more than anything else, but he was also the shadiest individual she had ever met.

' _He had warned me of that,'_ she reminded herself. The poor thing thought he was undeserving of her love and, despite the pain it put him through, tried pushing her away.

 _"Trust is important in a relationship,"_ he had said emphatically. _"How can you trust me when I can't tell you anything?"_

It was a silly question, and she told him as such. How could she _not_ trust him?

Now, as he proclaimed that Sloth would arrive soon, she didn't question it. Perhaps she would understand better if she remembered more from her time as –

She shook her head to clear it. _'Don't think like that,'_ she berated herself. _'I am Emilia. Only Emilia.'_

She would keep telling herself that, even if she felt as hollow as always.

They made their way to the carriage and Subaru gave Patrasche a grateful pat. "You did amazing," he said quietly. "No other ground dragon has _ever_ stood up to the Great Rabbit and lived, yet here you are."

Patrasche brayed as if saying, "Of course, I stood up to it. Do you really think that you would have won without me?"

Chuckling, he hopped into the carriage, carrying a still-immobile Meili in his arms. Thinking quickly, he set her down in the seat beside him; it was perfectly timed, too, for Beatrice staked her claim by hopping onto her contractor's lap.

He raised an eyebrow at her brash behavior. _'There's nothing to be jealous about,'_ he thought to her. _'I still adore you above all else.'_

There was a reason he spoke telepathically; it was something shared between the two of them, and no one else. He needed her to know just how special she was to him.

She glared at him as she ground out, _'Of course, Betty is adored more, I suppose. I'm cuter than the purple thing, in fact.'_

He ruffled her hair, and she squirmed at his touch; back to old habits, it seemed. _'You're cute as hell. I love you.'_

She let out a "hmph" but seemed satisfied.

Emilia came in looking amused. "Well, well, what have we here?" she teased. "Is my knight in a _second_ love triangle?"

 _'It'll get infinitely worse once Shaula is here,'_ he thought to himself.

Then, out loud, "What can I say? They can't resist my knightly charm."

Meili cocked her head to the side. "You have charm?"

Emilia giggled at the heartbroken look on Subaru's face. Beatrice let out a laugh before covering her mouth in horror as if trying to put it back. After all, it wasn't like she found the purple thing funny or anything like that. Betty was simply laughing at how hopeless her contractor was.

For a time, they all took turns poking fun at one another. There was still tension between Beatrice and Meili, though it had dwindled significantly. After all, Beatrice knew that her contractor's heart had a massive space with her name on it, and that was enough.

…She still didn't like the purple thing, though.

About two hours later, they made it back to the mansion, Crusch following a half-hour behind – Patrasche really was a cut above the rest. As Subaru expected, they were greeted by Ram.

With a bow, the pink-haired maid rattled off her greetings. "Miss Emilia. My cute little sister. Human garbage. Lady Beatrice. Another child that I'm looking forward to meeting."

"One of those greetings was _significantly_ different from the rest!"

Brushing off Subaru's outcry with a "hah," Ram turned to Emilia and said, "We've heard reports of nearby Witch Cult movements. It's expected that they will be here within a day or so. Lord Roswaal has evacuated the villagers and taken them to the Sanctuary. I'm going to assume that Barusu somehow knew that and has informed you."

Emilia nodded and confirmed, "He told me months ago. We've been preparing since then."

Ram gave another "hah" before stepping forward and pulling at Subaru's tracksuit. "You reek," she said matter-of-factly. "You must have infected my poor sister and Miss Emilia. How shameful of you, Barusu. Here I thought I could trust you to keep your grubby paws off an innocent maiden."

"Not my fault I got the guts of the Great Rabbit on me," he grumbled.

Completely unfazed, she said, "Miss Emilia. Rem. I shall draw a bath for you. I'm sure it will feel lovely to get the smell of trash off you." To Subaru, she deadpanned, "Do not attempt to join, you pervert. I cannot believe you would try to defile my darling sister in such a horrifying way."

He rolled his eyes. "I was going to bathe _after_ , thank you very much."

"So, that was your devious plan," she said scornfully. "You wanted to get me alone so you could act on your carnal desires. How deplorable of you, Barusu."

Emilia opened her mouth to protest at her knight's treatment, but she remembered something Subaru had once said about Ram.

_"It's just her way of showing affection. She's a tsundere, you know? I mean, mostly tsun and not much dere, but that's Ram for you."_

Emilia still wasn't sure what a "soonderay" was, but judging by the cheeky grin on Subaru's face and the twinkle in Ram's eye, it seemed there were no hard feelings between them.

And yet… before they had left, Ram had screamed at Subaru. Just what had they talked about after that to place them on such good terms?

Still carrying Meili on his back, Subaru called for Beatrice – who was unable to get dirty in the same way as the others – to come with him. However, she shook her head. "You have something to do with the purple thing, I suppose," she noted. "Am I right, I wonder?"

He nodded, but his eyes were filled with concern. "You can still come, you know? I'm not trying to leave you out of anything."

Her gaze pierced his. Then, she grabbed his hand and thought to him, _'Betty does not like the purple thing, in fact.'_

He expected that, so why –

' _However, Betty's Subaru sometimes does special things to help people, in fact. Betty will not intrude, I suppose.'_

A lump formed in his throat as he anxiously asked, _'But… won't you feel jealous? I don't want –'_

She cut him off as she sternly told him, _'Betty's Subaru can give his love to more than just Betty.'_ Then, mischievously, she added, _'Betty knows she is still the cutest, anyway.'_

Warmth blossomed in his chest. His arms were full carrying Meili, so he reached out with a Guiding Hand to pat Beatrice's head. She gave him a glare but subtly leaned into his touch.

Ram saw the new power and was, once again, completely unfazed. "Barusu, growing appendages to grope my innocent little sister with? Disgusting. Please keep your perverted tendencies to yourself."

He waved her off, choosing instead to carry Meili inside. For the first time in weeks, he activated Door Crossing, entering a room unknown to all others in the mansion.

Well, that was a bit of a stretch. It was just another guest room. However, on his own time, he had filled it with dozens of hand-knitted dolls and stuffed animals. He knew how much Meili loved them, so he made one for each of the mansion's occupants _–_ barring Roswaal, of course _–_ the other Royal Candidates, most of the knights, and even a bunch of mabeasts.

He had debated it for a long, long time, but he had eventually decided to make an Elsa doll. It was the least he could do.

He gently set her down on the bed as she looked around in wonder. He was pretty sure she'd never slept in a bed, let alone had a bedroom, so he didn't fault her for being speechless.

Carefully gauging her reaction, he said, "I can't tell you how I knew your preferences, nor how I knew to prepare this room, but… it's yours if you want it."

He laid a hand on the nightstand, saying, "Because of my contract with Beatrice, I get to use her Door Crossing, yeah? I did a lot of experimenting with it, and it turns out that I can transfer some sounds between rooms. So, if you want, with a bit of funky spellwork I can make it so that if you call my name, I'll hear you. It doesn't even need to be if you need help moving; if you're sad, have a nightmare, or just want to talk, I'm here. I don't sleep too well, either."

She turned her gaze to him, olive-green piercing dark brown. There was no innocent smile, no flirtatious winks. She didn't need to wear her mask around him. Instead, she wore her sorrow on her sleeve, torn up as it was from her months on the run.

Quietly, as if she wasn't sure what her voice was supposed to sound like, she asked, "Why?"

Why, indeed?

To Meili, this strange man had jumped into her life, promised to protect her, and provided her with a place to live, one that had already been catered to her tastes. She had no idea how or why, especially when their first meeting had involved her tossing the Great Rabbit at him.

To Subaru, there wasn't a single question in his mind as to why he'd do this for her.

It wasn't just their time spent together while she was held prisoner, fighting together in the Tower, or watching how Emilia acted as a mother, hugging the younger girl at her lowest. Those helped, and he would undoubtedly feel the same way regardless, but something caused his affection to grow a bit faster than he expected.

He had read her Book of the Dead. He knew her better than everyone else, for he lived her life alongside her. They were both broken by the tortures inflicted upon her by Capella. They both called Elsa their sister, even though they couldn't decide if that was wrong or right. They both received orders to kill and enacted them with frightening efficiency; after all, they wanted to make sure the victims held no pain. They watched Elsa burn to death while holding back tears, and they were held captive of their own will to avoid going back to Capella.

His mind and sanity shattered alongside her, only to be slowly patched back together by a man with scary eyes.

It's said that to understand a person, you need to walk a mile in their shoes. If that's the case, then he understood Meili perfectly. He saw the girl underneath, and he loved her.

 _"Why?"_ was an utterly pointless question.

He knelt to her level, took her hand in his, and quietly spoke: "Because I care about you, Meili. You mean so much to me. I just wish I found you sooner, but now that I have, I promise that I won't let anything happen to you."

He was confusing her; he knew that. It wasn't merely because of their lack of familiarity; it was because she didn't understand what it meant for someone to care about her to such an extent. She had made friends with Petra in the last timeline and presumably this one as well, but what he was expressing was different and utterly foreign.

That was one of the main reasons he wouldn't say he loved her yet: she was overwhelmed enough.

Meili, for her part, was remarkably composed; how fitting for the one who had survived years of Capella's torture. At length, she gave a demure nod and whispered, "Thank you."

Her mind, however, was a whirlwind of unfamiliar emotions. She didn't know what to do, but she needed to do _something_. Should she hug him? No, she had hugged him before. She wouldn't bother him further. Perhaps another thank you to supplement the first one? No, that would annoy him, and she'd be thrown out. He had already rejected her offer of mabeast reinforcements, so she couldn't even do the one thing she was capable of. Could she be any more useless?

Besides, what could match what had done for her? Was a simple "thank you" enough to represent how she felt?

Judging by the massive smile that was threatening to split his face in two, it seemed like it was enough for now.

She wasn't strong enough to stand so she cast her eyes around the room from her bed. "You bought dolls for me," she noted timidly. "They're very cute. I like dolls."

"Quick correction, I _made_ them," he said proudly. "Sewing is a hidden skill of mine, you see."

"I wish I could sew," she said wistfully. She cocked her head to the side, asking, "Where's yours?"

He gave her a questioning look and mumbled, "Hmm?"

"Your doll," she repeated. "There are so many pretty ones, but I'd really like one of you if that's okay."

He couldn't help it; he clutched his heart and gasped. "Too… much cuteness," he managed to choke out. How is it that she had stopped using her excitable mask yet _still_ managed to be pure as hell? Well, as pure as a traumatized former assassin could be, that is. "Look, I'll make one for you when everything goes back to normal, all right?"

A bit of light returned to her eyes. "Promise?" she asked hopefully.

He held out his pinky and wrapped it around hers as he asserted, "I promise."

A real, genuine smile blossomed upon her face. He couldn't help but wonder if her real personality was anything like her chipper one.

Perhaps things would be okay.

He headed to the closet opposite the bed and rummaged around. "There's something I've been saving for you," he informed her. "Granted, it would have saved my life multiple times, but I figured you'd still appreciate it more than me. Now, where is it… Ah. Gotcha."

He held a black cloth out at arm's length, grasping it only by his fingertips. "This thing creeps me out," he admitted, "but holding onto it was the least I could do after I… You know…"

She eyed the cloth in awe. Then, hesitatingly, she asked, "Is this –"

"Elsa's cloak," he confirmed. "It allows you to survive one powerful magic attack."

She cradled it to her chest, burying her face in it. He turned around to give her a moment.

He hated Elsa. He always would. Even Meili wasn't sure how to feel about her; the young girl's Book of the Dead told him that much.

However, Elsa was the closest thing to a family Meili ever had – her "Mama" was certainly not family. If this would help her heal, then he would happily give it up. He would do it for Emilia, Satella, Beatrice, or Shaula, so why not Meili?

He felt a light tug on his jacket, and he turned to find Meili looking up at him – she appeared meeker than she had ever been before, and he'd seen her mask in the village. Was this what it looked like when she let her guard down completely?

She struggled with herself, as if unsure of how to ask for something she wanted. Then, steeling herself, she quietly asked him, "Can I get some food?"

 _'Oh, fuck,'_ he berated himself. _'She hasn't eaten a proper meal in_ months _, and here I am, giving her dolls!'_

Plastering a smile on his face, he told her, "I hope you like steamed potatoes because until Rem's done bathing, that's all you're gonna get."

It turned out that she loved steamed potatoes, which instantly endeared her to Ram. Subaru suspected that it was because she hadn't had a hot meal for ages, but that was beside the point.

He still didn't know why she hadn't attacked the village, or why things went differently. It was too early on for him to have made a difference, right?

Then again, Elsa had discovered his Witch Factor. That led to both her and Capella attacking the mansion in an attempt to acquire the Witch Factor of Sloth. Perhaps Capella decided that, since she would become even more powerful, Meili was no longer needed? For that matter, if Capella was right there, why did she have Elsa attack at all?

It had to have been the Gospel. The blasphemous book gave all kinds of nonsensical instructions. The Archbishops claimed it led to their desired future, but it usually led to their deaths. Even the knockoff Tomes of Wisdom that were held by Roswaal and Beatrice seemed to lead to despair. Well, perhaps not Roswaal's copy. He seemed to want to lead Subaru to a very specific place, and it was working out quite well for him.

Subaru didn't know if he wanted to get to that place as quickly as he could or run as far away from it as possible.

Pushing the thoughts out of his mind, he turned to the pink-haired maid that had just served them, asking, "Hey, Ram, how are you on mana?"

Not looking at him, she replied, "Do not attempt to give me your disgusting mana. The only man who could provide me with such an intimate experience is Lord Roswaal."

He rolled his eyes, saying, "I was wondering because Emilia had offered to help in case Ros wasn't around."

Without hesitation, she shot back, "How inconsiderate of you to treat your liege like a spare reserve of mana. I will only accept if you apologize for your shameless behavior."

In other words, she was thanking him for his concern and would be approaching Emilia later.

In the same flat tone, she continued, "As punishment for your horrid suggestion, I shall be temporarily taking this girl off your hands. You reek, and I feel horrible for anyone who needs to be near you."

Meili looked to him with veiled concern, but he reassured her, saying, "Ram's a bit prickly…" He ignored the demon's harsh glare. "…but you can translate what she said as, 'Go bathe, and I'll take care of Meili. You both earned some rest.'"

He gave a comforting smile. "You can trust her, all right? And hey, don't worry. I'll see you right after."

Almost instantly, she donned an innocent smile, but it wasn't genuine. She was simply preparing to be around someone who wasn't Subaru.

Ram gave a "hah" and scooped the smaller girl up in a princess carry, tactfully ignoring the way the other girl stiffened. "You poor child, being held victim to Barusu's sick fantasies. The least I can do is ease your sore muscles before cleansing you of his filth."

He watched them go in concern, but he trusted Ram. Then again, Meili had a habit of imitating those around her. For all he knew, they could come back and he'd have yet another person calling him a pervert.

"Ah, Barusu." He was torn out of his thoughts as he heard Ram say, "There was a stranger asking for you: a grey-haired fiend masquerading as a merchant."

Subaru let a relieved smile spread across his face. "Oh, that's Otto," he said lightly. "Great guy, you'll all love him. So, where is he?"

"He is an intruder who posed a threat to Lord Roswaal. As such, he is in the dungeon." With that, she went to take care of Meili as Subaru ran off.

"Damn it, Ram!" he shouted, despite being out of hearing range. "There's a _limit_ to our mistreatment of Otto!"

In a frenzy, he dashed through the nearest door, coming out into the dungeon. Now, the "dungeon" was actually just a room with a series of powerful mana seals that restricted the use of one's gate and Divine Protections. It was excellent for holding someone like Meili or Garfiel but was overkill for Otto.

With a jolt, Subaru realized that the room was once Echidna's laboratory. "How fitting," he mused aloud. "No matter the title, this room always holds innocent prisoners."

Speaking of innocent prisoners…

"Is someone there?" a strained, yet familiar, voice called out. "I told you, I'm here for the job! Oh, I should never have listened to –"

"Subaru Natsuki, at your service!"

Otto Suwen, who was chained to the wall but otherwise okay, gaped at the approaching knight. "What took you so long?" he asked incredulously. "I was stuck here for hours!"

Subaru brushed him off, saying, "Sorry. I was kinda busy killing the White Whale and the Great Rabbit."

Otto blinked, his face blank. Then, incredulously, he asked, "You killed… Why the hell didn't I hear about this from the Dragon Tablet?"

Subaru paused for a moment, deep in thought. Emilia had said something about this during the Royal Selection, hadn't she?

_"Both this event and our achievements in the coming year will be known to everyone outside our Camp."_

"Outside our Camp," he murmured before his face lit up in a massive grin. Louder, he told Otto, "It's because you're part of the Emilia Camp now, yeah? But hey, that's all in the past, so let's get you out of here and into a bedroom, all right?"

Otto sighed, but it seemed he had decided to go along with Subaru. He had gotten this far, anyway.

Realizing that he didn't have a key, Subaru walked through a nearby door and, within seconds, came back with a ring of keys. "One of these should work," he muttered to himself. The first one didn't, and neither did the second. "Eh, only a few hundred to go."

Ten minutes later, he looked up at Otto, confused. Holding up a bronze key, he asked, "Hey, do you know if I already used this one?" At the merchant's shaking head, he shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, might as well redo it all, anyway."

Otto sputtered, but, luckily, it only took a few minutes to get the right key. Rubbing his sore wrists, the grey-haired man angrily said, "This is the worst interview process I've ever had."

"Mine was worse," Subaru responded evenly. "Before Roswaal gave me a job, I was stabbed multiple times, tortured for hours, cursed by a shaman, and forced to jump off a cliff." Otto gasped in horror, so he reassured the merchant by saying, "Don't worry; the girl who tortured me was _really_ cute! It was all a misunderstanding, anyway."

Otto struggled with himself for a while before asking, "How the hell are you alive?"

Subaru thought for a moment. Obviously, he couldn't say Return by Death, so he settled on the other truth. "At any point, I can give up. I can take the hand of one who loves me." He looked Otto in the eye and earnestly said, "But there are people I care about, and I won't give up until they get the happy ending they deserve."

At length, Otto responded, "…Huh."

He saw the drive, the determination in Subaru's eyes. Otto couldn't help but feel that this strange man would be a friend worth fighting for.

…Even if he said some pretty scary things.

Subaru set Otto up with a nice office, as well as a bedroom with a full wardrobe of clothes. The Mathers line was rich enough that they had that kind of stuff just… laying around. That was great, especially considering that Subaru was the type of person to adopt strays.

Dropping a fat stack of paperwork on Otto's desk alongside the promise of a hefty paycheck, Subaru strolled out, feeling quite satisfied with himself. Not long after, he sunk into the now-empty bath, washing the literal blood, sweat, and tears off of him. He let himself sink into the warm water, the heat soothing his aching muscles. Normally, he'd try to relax and think about what he had accomplished that day – Beatrice said it helped with self-esteem, and Emilia had recently begun asking for nightly "reasons why Subaru is great" reports – however, he couldn't help but feel jittery.

Sloth would come tomorrow.

His mood dropped as he thought of Petelguese. That was _not_ Guese, the diligent student of the Sorceress and the Sage. This was an insane monster. Subaru couldn't help but wonder if it was possible to remove the Witch Factor of Sloth from someone so loyal to the Witch of Envy.

He shook his head to clear it. He now had evidence that it would work. It would just be more difficult, considering that the participant was unwilling.

Another issue was keeping his trance during True Face. He hadn't been able to do it during Emilia's pseudo-Trial, and he had barely managed to hold it in the presence of a mere fraction of Pandora's essence. Could he really pull it off?

He'd like to think that he could. After all, he had been working hard on his anger; he wasn't the man that had screamed at Roswaal and taunted Capella. He was a knight, and he would act like one.

…That didn't make it any easier. It was too easy for him to fall into self-hatred.

Perhaps, one day, he could let go of his self-loathing. Mere moments after that thought, he let out a laugh. He had experienced dimension shifting, reincarnation, time travel, and an army of loli clones, but _that_ was where he stopped his suspension of disbelief.

Feeling a bit better from the laugh, he promptly hopped out of the bath and dried off; he wanted to leave before Ram had to bathe Meili, thank you very much. Despite Ram's comments, he did _not_ view Meili in that way. If anything, she was like a –

He stopped himself. He had no right to feel that way. His only solace was that her death never happened: not here, or in any universe.

It didn't make his actions excusable. Even if she didn't understand why, he would spend his entire life making it up to her.

Donning some fresh clothes, he exited the bathroom and bumped into someone he had never met.

Golden hair and cerulean eyes. Soft features and a beautiful smile. She looked just like Sylphy… but he had never seen one of Regulus's wives smile so brightly.

He also didn't expect to see one in a maid costume.

"Sir Subaru!" she called out, surprised, yet excited. "It's great to see you again!"

His mouth flopped open and closed like a fish out of water. At length, he tentatively asked, "Sylphy? Is that you?"

A light giggle filled the hallway. Subaru began to question his sanity.

"Is it so shocking?" she asked him. "You set up dozens of jobs for us. I was one of the women who chose to become a maid."

He scratched the back of his neck, mumbling, "To be fair, I kinda thought Ros would deny those positions… I had to make some backups."

Were they in Roswaal's Gospel? He had clearly expected Subaru to leave for the Capital early, but that didn't mean he _had_ to accept more people into his home. What did he have to gain?

Oblivious to his thoughts, Sylphy continued. "They're with the other villagers right now, but Num- Rebecca and her little sister, Petra, became maids; a blonde lady named Frederica, too." With a blinding smile, she admitted, "I've never felt so… free."

Subaru's heart broke a bit at those words. Not at the other mansion employees – he was happy to have them here – but because the poor girl viewed indentured servitude as freedom.

He was glad that Regulus was dead.

He hastily excused himself – after inviting her to talk over tea sometime, of course – and headed to his room.

Laying on his bed in her pajamas – had the evening truly come so quickly? – and cuddling a cat-like creature to her chest was Emilia.

His dour mood forgotten, he couldn't help but laugh at the sight. "Bold of you to assume I'd let you sleep in my bed," he teased.

She winked and stuck her tongue out at him but wouldn't dare make an innuendo with Puck in the room. It was a shame; they always brought a smile to his face.

Ever since Emilia and Puck modified their contract, the spirit had been… pretty absent, to say the least. He slept for most of the day, only coming out for the occasional hug or to play with Beatrice. He still talked to Emilia every so often and was incredibly useful as a conduit for her overwhelmingly large pool of mana, but he had otherwise relinquished his "taking care of Lia" responsibilities to Subaru.

At first, Subaru was wary of such changes; he felt like he had taken away Emilia's father. However, the two of them seemed much happier. Puck was able to laze about and get positive attention whenever he felt like it, and Emilia could grow as a person.

 _"I can be myself,"_ she had told Subaru. _"I'm not being told what a girl should or shouldn't do. I'm now allowed to discover who 'Emilia' is."_

He couldn't help but realize that last time, she only started to change when Puck left, and she grew dramatically in a _day._ Subaru knew it was mostly because she overcame her past, but perhaps _Puck_ could be considered part of that past.

Perhaps it was unfair to blame her development entirely on True Face.

Regardless of the cause of her sudden maturity, it didn't change that Subaru and Emilia were careful to not be _too_ affectionate around Puck. Ever since their first kiss, Subaru had steadily become more comfortable in his skin, while Emilia had become more… bold, would perhaps be the correct word. It was a healthy development for the both of them – odd, considering that everything emotional outside of their relationship was a complete mess.

Healthy though it might be, no father wanted to see his daughter kissing someone, especially not as enthusiastically as Emilia did. However, as long as Puck wasn't around, they had free rein to do whatever – after all, Puck was often unaware of what happened outside of his crystal.

It seemed that he didn't really care what happened, so long as she was alive. Subaru didn't know how to feel about that.

A few minutes later, Puck disentangled himself from Emilia's air-tight grip and flew in front of Subaru's face. "Take care of Lia," he said seriously.

With a smile, Subaru vowed, "I always will, and that's a promise."

With a grin and a salute, Puck vanished into nothingness, having completed his nightly ritual. He would not notice anything outside of his crystal unless Emilia specifically called for him.

Subaru crawled under the silky blanket with a relaxed sigh. "Home, sweet home," he murmured to himself. Crusch and Reinhard had lovely mansions, but the Forbidden Library held a special place in his heart.

After all, he now shared it with Emilia.

Yes, he had previously shared it with Satella, and he would cherish those memories. He would always love her, and he would do _anything_ to get her back.

Even so, his wife from another life – which sounded crazy, and he knew that, but it felt wrong to call her his ex-wife – was supportive of his love for Emilia.

If he reached into the depths of his soul and entered the Shadow Garden, he would find the Witch Factor of Envy proclaiming him as hers. However, the _actual_ Satella… Well…

 _'She's a massive shipper,'_ Subaru thought with humor. _'I know she's still technically shipping me with herself in another body, but it's still weird.'_

But hey, all three of them were happy. What more could they ask for?

At his side, Emilia curled up against him, her silver hair tickling his face and neck. "Tomorrow," she murmured, "I'll see Father Juice again."

His mood soured at the thought. "He won't be the same," he reminded her, unable to hide the bitterness in his tone. Whether it was from the memories of his fight with Sloth or the fate he gave Geuse, he wasn't sure.

Noting his distress, she curled an arm around him and said, "You weren't you, remember? We'll bring Juice back, and he'll forgive you."

He gave a wry grin as he ruefully muttered, "You have more reason to be stressed than me, yet you're the one offering comfort."

She shook her head and gently said, "You can't quantify pain. You comfort me, so it'd be selfish to not comfort you in return."

His smile turned genuine. "You're one of a kind, Emma," he said fondly. "You make me glad to be alive."

She beamed at him, earnestly saying, "And I'm glad you're here, Subaru. You make my life worth living."

Holding himself up by his elbow, he brushed the back of his knuckles over the smooth, porcelain skin of Emilia's arm. His eyes roamed her figure, barely hidden as it was by her thin nightgown.

In awe, he told her, "I know I say it a lot, but you really _are_ stunning. I can't tell you enough just how lucky I am, or how long I've waited for even a single moment like this."

Tinkling laughter filled the air. "I feel like I've been waiting _much_ longer," she admitted for the umpteenth time. "For three months, the most my handsome knight would do was cuddle with me. Do you know how much _more_ I wanted?"

He rolled his eyes and light-heartedly grumbled, "Yeah, well, how was I to know that my pure, sweet EMT was such a minx?"

"It's not my fault that you thought hand-holding was scandalous," she joked, making a show of intertwining her fingers with his. "You're such a tease, keeping a woman waiting."

He chuckled at the irony. _'Oh, if only you knew how long I waited for you.'_

Out loud, he airily said, "I'm sensing some repressed emotions. Anything you need to confess?"

Of course, she did; she had been waiting months to say it.

Without warning, she rolled on top of him with a playful smirk, lightly pinning him down by his arms. Amethyst jewels glinted with mischief and desire as she gazed down at her lover.

With the same flirty grin, she whispered three words that he didn't process for quite some time. Immediately after, she dove in, eagerly capturing what was hers. Her body melted into his as her lips pressed into his neck; he had never felt so vulnerable, yet so at ease. When she pulled back to take a breath, he lifted himself up to once again take her lips with his own.

For how long had he craved a moment like this? Was it when he became a butler, or perhaps her knight? Was it during those lonely nights in the capital, or during the nightmares of the Tower?

It was a silly question, of course; he'd wanted this forever.

Eventually, she backed off. As he admired her puffy lips and disheveled hair, he finally heard the three words that she had told him.

_"I want you."_

They were the words he needed to say, but couldn't – the emotions he needed to express, held back by fear. Slowly but surely, Emilia had allowed him to heal enough to say:

"I want you, too."

After that, she would no longer settle for merely sweet nothings and a kiss; for the first time in ages, they were truly alone, not to be disturbed. With a coy smile and a bit of magic, the candles that illuminated the bedroom were extinguished. The last thing Subaru saw before darkness took over was her seductive smile as she gazed hungrily at him.

She threaded her slim fingers through his messy locks, as she so often did. Careful to not crush him with her elven strength, she leaned her forehead against his, asking, "Are you sure about this?" It was barely a whisper, but it was permanently etched into his mind. "I will gladly wait forever if need be."

Despite how much she craved his touch, he knew she would keep her word, and he loved her for it.

His heart yearned for her, but anxiety attacked his mind, trying to silence his attraction. Taking a deep breath, he managed to take stock of the situation.

It was not dark enough for total obscurity, but neither was it light enough to garner any details. She would see the scars that had held him back for so long, even if their magnitude was unknown. He was not completely safe from a potentially judgmental gaze, but he trusted her enough to not view him any differently.

Then again, even if light filled the room, would he mind? He didn't know, and he didn't care.

Forget about baby steps; they both wanted the same thing, and there was no point in holding back any longer.

With boundless affection, he echoed himself: "I want you, Emilia. I can't wait any longer."

With a trembling voice that belied both nervousness and excitement, she ordered, "Then take me. Make me yours."

Their lips met again, and the rest of the world faded away as they became one.

Satisfied and spent, they parted, gasping for air as they stared up at nothing. Eventually, Emilia caught her breath enough to say, "Geez Louise, that was amazing."

Subaru let out a breathy laugh. "Figures that the first thing you say is something old-fashioned."

Too euphoric to feel annoyed, she shot back, "It's impossible to be eloquent immediately after you took me in such a way." Then, with a slight stammer, "Especially when you… you know…"

She made vague movements with her hands, causing him to blush furiously. Rushing to defend himself, he stuttered, "Look, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and –"

She rolled over, slowly outlining the scars on his chest with acceptance in her eyes. "It was wonderful," she murmured, "even if it was unexpected. I want you to do that next time, too."

 _'Next time,'_ he excitedly thought. _'She wants there to be a next time!'_

This beautiful, compassionate, incredible woman wanted to sleep with him again. He never imagined that his devotion could be reciprocated so thoroughly.

It was hard to see, but he could just barely make out the lazy smile on her face as she said, "How odd that you fiercely take what's yours in the throes of passion, but as soon as the curtains fall, you're as shy as ever."

Failing miserably to adopt a chiding tone, he retorted, "How odd that you're so assertive about what you want, but the moment I touch you, you turn into putty."

She laughed and said, "I don't know what 'puddie' is, but I'm happy to give you all that I am, my love."

The epithet "my love" bounced around his head like a hyperactive lesser spirit, and he smiled once more. He'd gladly sprint non-stop to the Great Waterfall and back if those words would leave her lips again.

The way she said it, with that exact inflection and emotion… There was _no way_ it was a coincidence. Judging by the fulfilled smile on her angelic face and the acceptance in her eyes, it seemed like she knew it, too.

His resolve had not changed in the slightest, and his confession of love would remain unaltered. Nonetheless, he felt more secure in their relationship than ever before.

"I love you so much," he whispered against her lips, and she repeated it back. Those words from her, once a pipe dream, were somehow a reality. He didn't know what he did to deserve them, but he –

"Hey, Subaru?"

Their faces were inches away from each other as their breath intermingled. All he saw was a gorgeous blur of amethyst, and all she saw were the blazing eyes she loved so much. They were so close to yet again losing themselves in each other, but he would hear her out.

"What's up?" he asked awkwardly, the nervousness returning.

For a moment, anxiety filled her face as she said, "Can I ask you a question?"

At her enthusiasm, his confidence returned, so he grinned cheekily and said, "Sure. You can even ask another, too."

She giggled, and her anxiety melted into a fond smile. "For a while, I've watched you with the village children, Beatrice, and now Meili. You're amazing with kids, Subaru, and I've been thinking…"

She bit her lip and asked, "When this is all over, can we start a family?" He gaped at her and she hurriedly clarified, "N-not for a few years, of course! I mean, eighteen and nineteen are deemed acceptable child-rearing ages, but there's so much going on with our lives! Maybe when we're twenty? Twenty-one? Is that still too young? Oh, and the Royal Selection isn't complete yet, and –"

He cut her off with a searing kiss. "I would love a family more than anything." He said breathlessly. "You have _no idea_ how happy that makes me."

The dream that he had carried across multiple lives would be fulfilled. He felt different, lighter, unburdened; he could take on the world in one shot.

She reached out, letting her dainty fingers dance upon the back of his neck. Fire cascaded down his spine as she gifted him with another kiss: this one chaste, light, not unlike the one that a bride would give to a groom. She pulled back and leaned her forehead against his, just like she would if they were still clothed.

How fascinating, that such a primal act could change them so much. They were still Subaru and Emilia, but now they were lovers in the truest sense.

He was warm, so warm. His muscular body, pressed against her lithe frame, gave her the strength to ask her final question: one she had wanted to ask for a long time. Without an ounce of hesitation, she proposed, "After the Royal Selection, will you marry me?"

The world stopped for a moment as they both held their breaths. It was the most unconventional time to ask such a question and the traditional roles were reversed, yet neither could imagine a better way.

In the Shadow Garden, deep within his soul, Satella cheered him on and gave her approval.

His answer was obvious.

With a smile that threatened to break his face in two, he said, "You stole my line."

Caught up in the moment, he once again claimed her body as his, sealing their promise.

For the first time, Subaru and Emilia were truly content.


	26. Geuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for waiting patiently; I really do have the best fanbase. I've never had a chapter with so much worldbuilding/lore, so this was a fun challenge, but it did take longer than normal.
> 
> As always, constructive criticism is appreciated, feel free to point out errors, and the Discord link is in Chapter 1.
> 
> Special thanks to my fiancé for teaching me happiness and what it means to have a family of my own.

At first, it was nothing.

Then, a voice came forth. It was not a true voice, for it did not speak. It was merely intent, a will, and it came from the progenitor of all spirits.

From nothing, a small, yellow orb came into existence.

The orb was blissful, for it was alive and ignorant. It floated on the breeze, swam in the water, rested by the flames, and watched the glow of the stars in the night.

Nothing, however, could contest the feel of the ground beneath it, for it was a lesser earth spirit, and its affinity gave him joy.

Mere days after its birth, the spirit felt _happiness_ , and it grew into a quasi spirit.

He – for he was no longer so primitive as to be an "it" – traveled the land, staying low to the ground. Invisible to all, he viewed the hug of a mother, a couple's first kiss, and the birth of a child. All of them were beautiful, wondrous things. It must be incredible to walk amongst these humans and share in their experiences.

Then he entered the Loud Place.

Shouts, clinks, stomps, jeers, taunts, glugs, crying, smacks, and cries of pain. A world of vices and sin, quite unlike the land of bliss in which he had lived so far.

At the center of it all was a man with brilliant red hair, sky-blue eyes, and a handsome face marred only by a condescending smirk.

The tall, muscular man perched on his stool with a drink in hand, drunk on his own power; the world had recently bestowed its love upon him, and he was a force to be reckoned with. His gravelly voice, dripping with arrogance, issued a challenge to the room, despite having already decided the inevitable outcome. "Betcha none've ya little fishes can beat me in anything!"

Standing opposite the man was a short, thin woman bearing raven hair, dark eyes, and a confident grin. With minuscule hands on her hips, she airily said, "So, the mighty Reid Astrea wants a battle? I'm sure that's nothing I can't handle!"

The man – Reid – was silent for a moment before bursting out into laughter. "Ah, tha's a good one!" Then, leering, "How 'bout we skip to the part where ah grab yer tits and fuck ya senseless?"

The woman's face twisted in disgust before it was carefully masked with fluttering eyelashes. "If you can best me in a battle of strength, you can have your way with me. You can do _whatever_ you want."

With a glint in his eye, he quickly accepted.

The girl raised her eyebrows but didn't seem surprised. She swayed her hips as she approached him and said, "If you win, you may bed me. If I win, you leave this place, and never come back."

Reid rolled his eyes, clearly focused on only the first two parts. "Yeah, whatever, lady. Let's jus' –"

"Trisha." She held out her hand and firmly grasped his, flatly saying, "My name is Trisha."

Then, without further ado, she _pulled_.

He barely had time to widen his eyes before he was flung out of the door and crashed into the building opposite the tavern.

"And don't come back!" she shouted. The tavern dwellers cheered, for Reid Astrea would no longer terrorize their humble village.

The quasi spirit left the town, pondering these events. For three days and three nights, he worked diligently to comprehend it, and eventually, he found his answer.

The quasi spirit learned what it meant to _protect_ , and he became a full spirit, shining brighter than ever before.

That was his undoing.

Spirits were birthed as lesser spirits, then grew into quasi spirits and eventually full spirits. The process typically took years… whereas he only took a week.

From within, the excess energy threatened to rip his ethereal body asunder. He could no longer perceive anything but sound. Pain rippled through him, threatening to drive him insane. He struggled but held himself together by his two lessons.

Happiness. He wanted to experience more of the place that brought him such joy.

Protect. If he burst, people would get hurt, and he couldn't bear to hurt the good people he had observed.

He'd hold himself together for an eon if need be.

Luckily, he needn't wait so long. Two passing travelers took notice of the still-invisible spirit. Their presence was familiar, but in his struggle, he could not figure out who they were.

"That's odd," one of them mused. "Spirits normally do a bit more… fluttering, yeah?"

The other voice, this one higher, murmured, "'Tis struggling to form, for its body cannot hold its energy."

A moment's pause. Then, with a hint of anxiety, "Are you sure you can do this?"

"I am okay," the other one said soothingly. "With you by my side, I can overcome anything."

"I don't think that's how it works," the first voice grumbled, but nonetheless relented. "So, if there's too much energy, then what about…"

"Your essence-splitting theory? I see no reason not to." Then, a bit playfully, she asked, "Shall we dance, my love?"

"We shall, my star."

The spirit perceived a whirlwind of mana, swirling around him and reconstructing his very being. Reality itself bent to the will of these two gods, but he was not afraid.

For the first time, he felt _love_ , and he became a great spirit.

Wary but excited, the spirit opened his eyes for the first time. In front of him, shining like they came from the heavens above, were two beings of light. One of them was a gleaming beacon of love. Silver hair, as bright as the moon. Amethyst eyes, like a polished jewel. The Od Laguna itself could not match her beauty, for her soul was pure and kind.

However, her soul was also mangled. To think that such perfection could be marred by an evil touch…

At her side was a man of shifting appearance. His magic – or perhaps it was hers – tried to provide a false image full of the world's love, but the spirit saw through it. He had dark hair and sharp features that bore eyes shining with power. Those eyes were filled with the world's loathing: the opposite of the woman beside him.

Man and woman, loathed and loved, were equally favored by the Od Laguna, and both wore its sacred symbol on a pendant around their necks. The spirit was truly honored to be in their presence.

The earth spirit opened his mouth – for these gods have granted him a face – and tentatively spoke his first words. "Thank you."

The man cheered, for they had succeeded in saving the spirit. The woman smiled fondly, both at the spirit's survival and the man's childish antics. The spirit cried, for it was alive.

Upon seeing the spirit's tears, the two softened their eyes. "Are you all right?" the woman asked in concern.

Such genuine concern was surely not possible. The sensitive spirit sniffled and admitted, "Your kindness… It's too much. Your beautiful souls overwhelm my meager one."

"Happy tears, huh?" the man mused distantly. Then, changing the subject, "What's your name, spirit?"

The spirit regained composure and thought for a moment. He had never received a name from the Od Laguna. Perhaps these two were meant to give it? So, he told them, "You have granted me new life. My name is in your hands."

The two remained silent, neither willing to speak hastily. Then, as one, they said:

"Betelgeuse Romanée-Conti."  
"Pimsy."

The man gave her an incredulous look. "Pimsy," he deadpanned. "You thought for an entire minute to create a grand, eloquent name, and you came up with… 'Pimsy.'"

She flushed, mumbling, "I wanted to use the 'P' sound…"

With an exaggerated sigh, he conceded, "Petelgeuse, then. Geuse for short."

She gave him a sideways glance. "Pimsy is a bad name, but 'Juice' is acceptable?"

"That's not –" He cut himself off with a shake of his head before looking at the spirit expectantly. "How does 'Geuse' sound?"

Geuse's brilliant smile was enough of an answer.

The woman bit her lip, suddenly nervous – Geuse couldn't understand why an angel would feel meek before an inferior being. Trading glances with the man, she eventually asked the spirit, "Since you don't seem to have anywhere else to go, would you like to stay with us?" Upon seeing the look on his face, she hastily added, "A-after all, 'tis unfair to leave you impoverished and alone! It's only… only… o-oh..."

But Geuse had already fallen to his knees, crying tears of gratitude.

He didn't know how to properly thank them. No one had taught him, for he was only a few days old. What could he do? What should he say?

He wished for elegance, but all that came out was, "What are your names?"

The woman smiled, and Geuse felt salvation all over again. Like a silver bell, she chimed, "My name is Satella, though you may have heard of my moniker, 'The Sorceress.'"

_"Truly loved by the world and its people."_   
_"A miracle healer, capable of anything."_   
_"A woman of pure kindness and selflessness."_

He had heard tales of the Sorceress indeed.

If she was the Sorceress, then the man beside her must be…

_"A warrior of infinite strength."_   
_"A man of endless compassion."_   
_"The one to save us all."_

With his appearance ever-changing but his soul burning bright, the man smiled and said, "My name is Flugel, though some people decided to call me 'The Sage.'"

Even without the titles, he would have known them, for their existence was intrinsic to his being. As easily as breathing, he vowed to serve them for the rest of his days.

In his short life, Geuse had learned happiness, protection, and love.

As he stared into the eyes of his saviors, he realized that he would soon learn what a family meant.

In a flurry of power, the Sorceress and the Sage each laid a hand on Geuse's shoulder, and he instinctively closed his eyes as they were whisked away to a place unknown.

When Geuse's eyes fluttered open, he gaped at the sight before him. A mansion, larger than any abode he had ever seen before.

So, this was where gods lived.

Apparently, this mansion belonged to the Mathers family, and they had given it to Echidna – _"a nasty Witch"_ – but, due to the unexplained obsession of an evil man, she would never come back here.

With a rueful chuckle, the Sage said, "Honestly, after all the shit Echidna put us through, we kinda earned this place."

Geuse nodded furiously. The Sorceress, for her part, didn't seem to know if she should wholeheartedly agree or vehemently disagree.

Suddenly, the air was disturbed by an enthusiastic woman's call. "Master! Other Mother!" the voice cried. "I thought you were never coming back!"

The front doors of the mansion had burst open, and a scantily clad woman with brown, braided hair barreled out. Geuse tensed, preparing to defend his saviors, when the Sage spread his arms wide and embraced the newcomer. He held her tight and laughed merrily, saying, "We've only been gone two days, Shaula."

"But that's so looong," Shaula whined. "It's so _boring_ without Master here, yep!"

She deliberately dragged his arm closer to her bosom, only to be interrupted by the Sorceress clearing her throat and chiding, "Shaula, dear, no groping my husband."

So, they were married. How fitting.

With great reluctance, Shaula released the Sage's arm, completely unabashed. In lieu of apologizing, she bounded over to the Sorceress, crushing the other woman in a hug.

As Shaula cried happy tears in the arms of her "Other Mother," Geuse couldn't help but notice that her soul felt like the Sage's true self. It was not overwhelmingly powerful like the Sage's soul, nor was it akin to the weaker, pungent taste of a mabeast. It was something… greater, yet somehow innocent and pure. Her soul stunk of the world's loathing but held a father's love.

The Sage smiled at the sight of the two women hugging, but he tore his eyes away to gesture at Geuse, guiding the spirit inside. Stepping inside the opulent foyer, Geuse began, "Oh, Impeccable Sage –"

"It's just Flugel," the other man interrupted. "I love nicknames and aliases, but people are really hyping me up to be someone I'm not."

Geuse would be the first to disagree, and there was no chance he would refer to this being without some sort of honorific. Eventually, he took inspiration from the energetic woman outside, and he rephrased his question by cautiously saying, "Master Flugel…"

The man raised his eyebrows but accepted the title as if he knew that Geuse wouldn't negotiate further.

"...why did you take me in?"

Geuse knew what they had told him, but it wasn't that simple, was it? He had seen many great acts of kindness, but no man _actually_ gives their neighbor _permanent shelter_ on a whim.

Unfazed, Master Flugel answered, "Ella already told you; you didn't have shelter. We're not gonna just leave you to rot, you know?" Ignoring the spirit's expression, he stopped at a wooden door and explained, "This will be your room. Let me know if you're not a fan, and we'll make some adjustments or find you a new one."

For what felt like the thousandth time, Geuse burst into tears.

Master Flugel awkwardly patted Geuse's back as he quietly grumbled, "You know, anime protagonists are usually crap at consoling women, but I'm pretty good with Ella. With you? Not a clue. Am I some weird subversion of the trope?"

Geuse had no idea what the man was talking about, but he didn't care. This man saved his life, gifted him with a name, and provided him with a home. The Sage could spout whatever nonsense he wished, for Geuse would follow him anyway.

The next morning, Geuse met with the Sorceress, who greeted him with a brilliant smile.

"You're not like other great spirits," the Sorceress explained. "Because you had so much excess energy, we had to modify your Od; now, you can splinter off your essence into a vessel. This will allow you to maintain your form for long periods of time without spontaneously combusting."

Geuse wasn't sure what that meant but nonetheless, he complimented, "You birth truly ingenious ideas, Lady Satella."

She faltered at the word "birth" but soon smiled at the nickname, for it was much better than "The Goddess of Magic."

"'Twas my husband's idea," she corrected. "He claims that 'tis merely his body of magic, but the truth is that he's quite creative and intelligent."

Geuse gave a wry grin. "That's the impression I received from him, yes."

Lady Satella smiled and, as the love of the world spewed forth, he once again wondered why her soul was so damaged.

Before he could ask, she brought them back on track, instructing him, "The splinters of your essence will be placed amongst ten people, allowing you to maintain full control. We shall choose them today."

That sounded like possession, and he didn't like that. Frowning deeply, he asked, "Is that not a violation of their freedom?"

Her eyes softened at his concern. "Do not worry," she soothed. "It will be purely consensual, and you shall be granting them new life."

He wanted to protest that he had never heard of consensual possession, but her hand on his shoulder stopped him. "Trust me," she said firmly before whisking him away to places unknown.

They appeared in front of a decrepit wooden cabin. Judging by the putrid smell of decaying flesh, it was either a morgue or a poorly funded hospital. Pitying the unfortunate souls within, he turned to Lady Satella only to feel panic for the first time.

She was on her hands and knees, gasping for breath between retches. The stench of iron filled the air as she vomited blood, eventually collapsing face-first into a pool of her own fluids. Her amethyst eyes, normally bright jewels filled with mirth, glazed over with pain as she stared at nothing.

In an instant, Geuse was at her side, utterly helpless. He knew no water magic, and, as such, could not heal her. At a loss, he placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to soothe her.

He did not cry, for he felt no joy.

Eventually, she pushed herself up on shaking arms, leaning against the wooden cabin. She lightly thunked against it, but Geuse couldn't tell if it was from exhaustion or frustration.

He knew how strong she was, both physically and magically. However, as he gazed at her pallid skin and trembling muscles, he couldn't help but ponder the mortality of the goddess before him.

She leaned her head against his shoulder with a long, drawn-out sigh, and he unconsciously wrapped a comforting arm around her. With unfathomable levels of self-hatred, she murmured, "Pathetic, is it not? I am unable to perform even the simplest of spells without collapsing."

Masking his worry, he calmly responded, "I would not call teleportation a simple spell, my lady." Then, unable to hide his curiosity, he asked, "Why did that happen?"

She turned into his shoulder, blocking out the cold gaze of the world around her. "I'm dying, Geuse," she whispered, breaking his heart in the process. He had known it from the moment that he saw her blood spewing from her prone form, but it still tortured him to hear it. To think that this strong, kind woman was both the one who had saved him and the one who preemptively lamented her demise.

If he was being honest, he had his suspicions. After only one day spent with them, it was clear that Master Flugel treated his wife like glass, and he constantly checked up on her condition. It was only natural that there was a cause for it. Even so, it was difficult to believe that the Sorceress was _capable_ of perishing.

They sat there for some time, merely listening to the whispers in the wind. He closed his eyes and felt the earth beneath him, letting his element overtake his senses.

 _'Earth, grant me strength,'_ he prayed. _'Od Laguna, grant me fortitude.'_

He would need it if he were to protect Lady Satella from her sorrows.

Eventually, she lifted her face off his shoulder and wiped her eyes. Quietly, she entreated him, "Do not tell my husband what happened."

Geuse frowned deeply, asking, "Why not? Perhaps Master Flugel could –"

"He cannot help," she cut off sharply. "He is looking for a cure, but his methods encroach upon the well-being of others. If he knew that I felt more than mere fatigue…"

Geuse didn't fully understand; he believed his master to be endlessly compassionate, but Lady Satella hinted that there was more to it. Could it be that Master Flugel's overprotectiveness held a darker side?

She stood up slowly, rejecting his offer to help. "I'm not some fragile maiden," she insisted, despite having leaned on him mere moments prior. Changing the subject, she reminded him, "We are here to delegate your essence, remember? Please, follow me inside."

He frowned yet again, but he would always willingly walk in her shadow.

The wooden cabin was as shabby on the inside as it was the outside, filled with moth-eaten cots and groaning patients. No doctor was in sight.

This was not a place of healing, but a grave for the unknown and unloved.

Lady Satella strode forward, all traces of her prior exhaustion having disappeared upon entry. "Hello," she said. It was a simple introduction, but her bell-like voice was enough to garner everyone's attention. "I apologize for intruding. I am –"

"The Sorceress," one of the men breathed. "Why, I never… You're even more stunning than the legends describe."

She looked distinctly uncomfortable, and her eyes flicked to the door as if she wanted nothing more than to escape his admiring eyes. Roughly pulling her sleeves down, she cleared her throat and announced, "Yes, I am the one whom you call the Sorceress. My associate and I are here to grant you a new life."

Slowly but surely, their eyes dragged to Geuse and he shifted uncomfortably. He had never felt so many gazes upon him at once, and especially not ones of such intensity. Meekly, he raised his hand and introduced himself. "I am Geuse."

 _'How eloquent,'_ he thought mockingly. Surely, Master Flugel's entrance would have been far grander.

Apparently, those before him thought the same. "Where is the Sage?" they asked. "Why bring a man we have not heard about?"

Lady Satella frowned. " _I_ had not heard of _you_ ," she pointed out. "'Twas merely the village elder that guided me to your location, yet here I am, giving you my time and energy. If I can respect your elder's recommendation, then surely you can respect mine."

At that, they had no words, so she continued. "Geuse is a great spirit, but his energy is unstable. His essence needs to be split into multiple physical bodies… and that's where you come in." Slowly, as if to emphasize that she wasn't forcing anything upon them, she said, "If you take our offer, then your bodies will be filled with life, revitalizing you. However, if Geuse's body dies, one of you will become his new body until he takes control of another one."

 _'Mere backup bodies,'_ Geuse thought bitterly. No one could possibly want –

"I'll do it."

Geuse's head shot up and he stared slack-jawed at a young man – no more than twenty-two-years-old. It wasn't possible for someone to actually _consider_ this, right?

Stubbornly, the young man said, "I am the bastard child of a man and an elf. I have been disowned for my dirty blood. I am dying of a fever, and I anxiously await my end." With a grim smile, he wryly asked, "Now you enter, offering to not just heal me but to give me a purpose. I'd be a fool to decline."

In the dilapidated cabin, the patients – who numbered ten in total – expressed their approval of Lady Satella's plan. Each one of them was offered to be healed with no conditions, but they all declined. They turned to Geuse, anxiously awaiting their new life, new purpose, new family.

With tears in his eyes, Geuse reached deep into his soul and gave them each a part of himself, forming a contract with ten others. As he watched life return to the fallen, he couldn't help but think back to the previous night.

 _"Master Flugel,"_ Geuse had asked, _"Why have you named me as you have?"_

They stood in the garden, letting the chill of the night wash over them. _"You're named after two things from my homeland,"_ Master Flugel reminisced. _"Your second name, 'Romanée-Conti,' comes from an alcoholic beverage."_

Geuse eyed his master strangely. _"Alcohol?"_ he had asked in utter bewilderment.

 _"Alcohol,"_ Master Flugel had confirmed. _"Back in my homeland, I was in an alleyway, and I came across a new – like, completely untouched – bottle of Romanée-Conti. I thought to myself, 'What the hell is this doing here?' I mean, Romanée-Conti is literally the nicest, most expensive brand of alcohol on the planet, and it was just laying there."_

There was more to the tale, but Master Flugel trailed off, lost in memories. Geuse had indulged him for a moment, but eventually asked, _"What about my first name?"_

Master Flugel turned to him, color-shifting eyes merging with the true dark-brown as he flatly said, _"Betelgeuse is the Hand of Orion."_

Geuse didn't know what that meant, but as he stared at the ten men and women before him, he knew what he would call his new family. Letting the tears fall, he whispered, "It is an honor to meet you, my Fingers."

Once again, Geuse's life began anew.

Although his essence had been split among the Fingers, even a tenth of his generosity and goodwill was enough to send them traveling around the world, helping those in need by providing goods and services. However, Geuse himself was always the leader for a certain task.

With a blue pyroxene crystal around his neck, Geuse and his Fingers trekked through a forest. The trees were enchanted to make travelers lose their way, but his group had been placed under the protection of Master Flugel, and as such were unaffected.

They broke through a clearing and came to the entrance of the village, where they greeted one of the highest-ranked members of the Sanctuary: a blonde child with butterfly pupils and a perpetual frown. Her eyes, glassy with loneliness and grief, lit up ever-so-slightly when they fell upon Geuse, but it quickly diminished.

"Took you long enough, I suppose," the girl grouched. "Betty has already read all the books from last time, in fact."

Geuse smiled at the characteristic greeting. "It is good to see you, Miss Beatrice," he said politely. "I trust you are well?"

She was not well, and they both knew that.

Geuse did not know the full history of Master Flugel and Lady Satella, but he knew that they had once been acquainted with Miss Beatrice. He also knew that they were ruled by fear and did not wish to reveal themselves to her. So, they sent Geuse in their stead, under the guise of giving supplies.

It was a shame. Perhaps Miss Beatrice would smile if she saw them.

There was another reason he came, one that caused his lieges great pain and anger. Hiding his inner thoughts, he asked, "How is Miss Echidna?"

Echidna, the Witch of Greed. Apparently, she was the root of much suffering for Lady Satella. He didn't know what kind of being would dare harm an angel, a goddess, but he was afraid of meeting her.

Geuse also had suspicions about his master. Master Flugel often concealed a great physical pain in his torso, and it was exacerbated whenever Geuse gave his report on Echidna.

Miss Beatrice's face fell, taking him out of his thoughts. "Mother is still sleeping, in fact," she said morosely. A few years prior, Echidna had battled a powerful foe, and she was recovering her strength to this day. She was almost never awake for more than a minute at a time. "Roswaal said that she was roused from her slumber to confront an annoying pest, but neither of us saw who it was."

"I see," Geuse muttered. How odd that Master Flugel avoided this place like the plague but would also sneak inside to face the root of his anger. Geuse couldn't help but wonder if the contradictory actions were the result of an inability to face his past, but he had never claimed to understand the mind of a god. Changing the subject, he asked, "Before we go, is there anything else we can do for you?"

Miss Beatrice was quiet for several moments. Then, at length, "Betty does not understand why, but the children wish to hear more stories, I suppose."

Geuse gave her a thin smile. That, he could do.

And so, they walked into the village and gathered the Sanctuary's occupants, all of which enthusiastically greeted Geuse as they awaited his tales. Enraptured, they heard of the kindness of the Sorceress, and those she healed. In awe, they were told of the mighty feats of the Sage, and those he protected with his strength.

Miss Beatrice half-heartedly complained but was as interested as the rest.

It was twilight when Geuse and his Fingers left. As always, there was not much to report; Echidna was mostly inactive, and Miss Beatrice was safe, albeit sad. The Sanctuary occupants were –

"What a marvelous story."

From within the trees, a woman of ethereal beauty stepped out, her platinum hair swaying in an unseen wind. Her sapphire eyes exuded innocence, yet Geuse couldn't help but feel that his very existence was in peril.

"Who are you?" he asked guardedly. "I did not see you amongst the residents."

She smiled knowingly. "I was always there. Your eyes must have deceived you." Then, with a wistful sigh, "The love and adoration in your voice as you spoke… I can see that you truly admire them."

Geuse said nothing.

"I revere them," she continued. "Sometimes, it is nice to relax and listen to a tale about your favorite people, is it not?"

Geuse somehow doubted that the being before him knew what relaxing was. Cautiously, he probed, "What do you want from them?"

But the woman did not answer his question. She merely smiled and said, "Goods and services deserve proper compensation, correct? I suppose I shall provide you with some transportation."

With that, she waved goodbye and –

He blinked up at the mansion. The trip home must have really flown by, for it was already morning. His Fingers seemed just as befuddled, but Geuse was likely just misreading their expressions; he was quite young and inexperienced, after all.

He walked inside the mansion, but, immediately after opening the door, he was accosted by Master Flugel, who ordered, "We need to leave, right now."

In other words, a monster had been spotted.

Geuse wasn't much use in a fight, for what was low-level earth magic compared to the might of the Sage? However, he was often brought along for first aid and managing collateral damage.

Mentally preparing himself, he gave a sharp nod but said nothing.

Master Flugel's gaze was stern, but his eyes showed a glimmer of appreciation. His power gathered in the air, but suddenly stopped as he asked, "How's Beatrice?"

Geuse allowed himself a small smile. "The same as before," he answered evenly.

Master Flugel flinched but did not respond verbally. Instead, he lightly squeezed Geuse's shoulder, and they appeared in a forest.

Almost immediately after, an earthquake shook the land. If it were anyone but the Sage and an earth spirit, they would have fallen.

Master Flugel cursed. "It's _him_ ," he spat. "I can feel his aura. That bastard's been attacking villages left and right, but he's always gone by the time I get there."

Geuse's eyes narrowed slightly. "Then we must make haste," he said evenly. He did not know who his Master was referring to, but he would not let the villain escape so easily.

They ran into the thicket, struggling to stay on a straight path; every earthquake increased in strength and threatened to knock them off their feet.

"Figures she's here, too," Master Flugel grumbled. "I know she has a weird soft spot for the elves, but damn it _,_ she's just gonna make things worse! What, does she have something against asking me for help?"

Geuse didn't understand his master's ramblings, but that was nothing new.

Bursting into a clearing, Geuse was overcome with the stench of miasma. He and his master froze, watching the scene in awe.

Two beings of unfathomable power stared each other down. One was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman filled with anger. The other was a lethargic man of dark hair and amber eyes; he was surrounded by a strange, purple hue that made him feel out of place in the world.

The woman pointed at the man with righteous fury and condemned him, shouting, "I am the protector of this forest, and I shall not allow harm to befall its people! Begone, devil!"

The man slouched over with a long, drawn-out sigh. "This is suuuch a pain," he grumbled slowly. "I don't even waaant to be here."

If anything, his lackadaisical attitude seemed to infuriate the woman further. She darted towards him at impossible speeds and punched him straight in the face. He flew backward and smashed into a tree, but, if anything, he looked refreshed; a bit of color had returned to his pale, sullen cheeks.

Seeing that her punches had no effect, the woman repeatedly stomped on the ground, creating earthquakes whine leveling the clearing. "My Authority is stupid!" she shouted to the sky. "It makes me so angry! Utterly furious! Unbelievably pissed off! Absolutely –"

"Can you stop it already?" the man whined. As she continued ranting, he gave another sigh…

…and the woman collapsed to the ground, the force of it creating a massive crater.

"Such a pain," he mumbled, doubling the force of his attack with every word. "I hate this. I'm so done. Can we stooop? It's so annoying."

The woman tried to punch herself, but another strike snapped her throat in two, halting her movements. She drowned in a pool of her own blood, resembling a twisted mess of flesh more than a human.

The entire assault lasted only a few seconds.

After it was over, the man sighed for what felt like an eternity. "This is so depressing," he grumbled. "Why couldn't she just –"

Suddenly, he froze… and looked straight at Geuse.

"An intruuuder?" he groaned. "Such a pain, pain, pain."

An invisible force slammed Geuse into the ground, crushing him with the weight of a thousand suns. There was nothing he could do but scream in agony as his body begged for mercy. All of his bones disintegrated into dust as his organs splattered about.

Finally, Master Flugel shook himself of his stupor and entered the fray. "That's enough, _devil_ ," he spat. "For the murder of hundreds, no, _thousands_ of innocents, I sentence you to death."

Upon hearing his voice, the blonde woman stirred and weakly cried out, "No… You can't be here… I promised her..."

Hiding his concern, Master Flugel responded, "Quiet, Minerva. You should know by now that by fighting this _thing,_ you're doing more harm than good."

She coughed and sputtered, but she managed to raise a shaking fist and tapped it to her cheek, somehow healing all of her wounds. Immediately after, she dashed to Geuse and healed him, too. She turned to Master Flugel and was about to retort, but the evil man cut her off with a moan of despair. "That huuurts, you know, calling me names," he mumbled. "I've tried to bait you out for _yeeaars,_ but you're always so _slow_. It takes _foreeever_ for you to come, and it's suuuch a pain, so I just leave… Killing is sooo tiring… I hate doing it… Now, I fiiinally see you, and the first thing you do is call me a 'thing'? That's just so… depreeessing. There's no point to it all. So many tries, and it's all the saaame."

Master Flugel was not one to listen to a madman's ramblings. Scathingly, he said, "Silence, _Hector._ For your crimes, I sentence you to death."

Most would cower in fear upon hearing the Sage speak in such a tone, but Hector merely slouched further. Any more and he would be languishing on the floor. "Not this agaaiin," he groaned, dragging out his words. "There's no escaaape… It's always the saaame… Such a pain, pain, pain, pain, pain…"

But Master Flugel would not feel pity for such a miserable creature. The air smelled of ozone as electricity and magic danced to the Sage's song. From a cloudless sky, a bolt of lightning struck Hector head-on, leaving a charred carcass in his place.

Closing his eyes in relief, Master Flugel turned to –

"That's so mean… It's so depressing… Such a paaain… You always do that…"

Master Flugel gasped in shock. No one had ever withstood that attack before, yet Hector persisted. The purple barrier around him had absorbed all the damage, and any aesthetic blemishes were quickly disappearing.

Taken aback, Master Flugel asked, "Who are you?"

Hector's cheeks sunk even further into his skull. "The Witch of Melancholy," he responded. He scratched his neck and amended, "Er, Warlock, I guess… It's such a paaain, having to say that extra syllable… I haaate it… "

Regaining a bit of his composure, Master Flugel rebuked, "I know your title, _devil._ I'm wondering how you could survive that attack!"

Hector's frown deepened further. In a voice as flat as ever, he stated. "She won't let me die to anyooone else. I'm stuck here, listening to her, and it's such a paaain, and I hate it, and I just –"

Master Flugel growled at the non-answer and let loose a barrage of lightning and fire, all of it targeted at the otherworldly being before him.

But Hector would not die.

Eventually, Master Flugel stopped his assault, panting from the exertion. He struggled with himself as if debating which question to ask. Then, finally, "Why aren't you running away?"

Hector locked eyes with Master Flugel, and clearly stated, "Because there's nothing left for us in this world." Then, with a hint of compassion, he asked, "Won't you feel the same way when your wife dies?"

Bad idea.

One moment, the Warlock of Melancholy stood before them. The next, a massive black door had taken his place. Hellish designs were carved into it, and a solitary keyhole laid in the center. The air in the clearing became still and the surrounding flora turned white.

Lady Satella had become a sensitive subject as of late.

Master Flugel clenched his fist around an invisible object as his entire body shook. Turning to Minerva, he demanded to know, "Why didn't you tell us about Hector? I had to find out because of a massive influx of souls to the Od Laguna!"

She forced herself to her feet and glared at him; despite the godlike feat he had just displayed, she would stand her ground. "Just leave, Flugel." She said it scathingly but refused to meet his gaze. "You're not supposed to be here."

"I don't even know where 'here' is!" he pointed out with a snarl. "Why the hell are you being so cruel, anyway? I thought we were friends!"

Tears brimmed in her eyes as she clenched her fists in frustration. "Just leave, Flugel," she echoed, but there was no bite to it. "You're not supposed to be here."

They argued for a bit longer, neither relenting. At length, Minerva stomped her feet and shouted, "Just ask your wife, all right!"

For what felt like an eternity, silence reigned. Then, like a whisper in the wind, Geuse heard a voice that he had never heard before.

"Ella's… been hiding things from me?"

It was Master Flugel, and he was heartbroken.

Minerva huffed, but could not meet his eyes. "Just leave, Flugel."

He folded in on himself but managed to say, "At least tell me if there's anyone else here. They might need some healing after Hector's attack."

Noticing his emotional state, she walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched as if the action hurt him but seemed to calm somewhat. Quietly, as if speaking to a damaged child, she reminded him, "I'm the Witch of Wrath. I can handle it."

He took a deep breath. "You're right," he murmured. "Silly me. I know nothing about anything."

"That's not –"

He held up a hand and did not let her finish, for some things could not be healed with her Authority.

Master Flugel walked towards the now-standing Geuse but froze before they could meet. Out of the trees, a girl's face warily peered out. Neither of the two men had seen the child before, but they easily deduced who it was.

Silver hair and amethyst eyes. Half of the Sorceress's soul, except this one was patched together by unknown magic. An unfamiliar face, but it held the same love of the world.

Geuse now fully understood why Lady Satella was dying… and why this place was hidden from his master.

Master Flugel's breath hitched. "So, that's what she's hiding," he muttered to himself, his voice little more than a whisper. "How little does she think of me?" he asked Minerva, his gaze still fixed on the young, silver-haired girl.

She did not respond, for they all saw the hint of greed in his desperate gaze. All they could do was hope the kind soul behind the eyes would come back.

He did not. He merely spiraled further.

It was not merely Geuse and Lady Satella that noticed Master Flugel's dark behavior. One evening, Shaula came to Geuse, utterly silent. It was not surprising that she knew it was him, even though he had not used this body before. After all, even though she claimed it was merely her sense of smell, he knew that Shaula had the same ability to see souls.

He reached out a hand and comfortingly grasped her shoulder, knowing that she appreciated physical contact. "Is something the matter?" he asked gently, well aware that this was not her typical behavior.

For a time, she did not speak. He was content to wait, for great spirits were creatures of patience. Then, at length, "What's happening to Master?"

Her voice was small, like a child. Not for the first time, it truly hit him that she was only two and a half years old.

It also reminded him that he was even younger than her, but that was beside the point.

"Master Flugel is grieving," he explained patiently.

"But... no one died," Shaula said with a frown. He couldn't help but berate himself for marring her face with his callous words. Then, she lit up with a smile, and the world was all right for a moment. "Everything is okay, yep! One day, Master will return, and he'll love me, yep!"

Geuse didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise.

Afterward, he went to his master's study for his daily visit. For over a year, Master Flugel had taught him of the wonderful world in which they lived, though they sometimes discussed their loved ones. Nowadays, however, they did not discuss magic, stars, politics, current events, the Od Laguna, Shaula, Daphne, Minerva, the other Witches, or anything of that sort. Geuse merely sat there and watched over the older man as he worked furiously.

"Can't do that," Master Flugel mumbled. "The exact method is too similar to The Ordeal. What about…"

He scribbled something down and grimaced. "This _might_ work," he mused, though his fingers trembled slightly. "I could just use some prisoners, right? That way, we –"

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. "Remember your promise to Lady Satella," Geuse said softly. "No others are to be harmed in any way."

Underneath the spirit's hand, Master Flugel's entire body shook. "They're _prisoners_ ," he said with a scowl. "Murderers, rapists, slave traffickers: the worst of the worst."

"A life is a life," Geuse patiently reminded him, for that was the lesson bestowed upon the spirit by Lady Satella.

Master Flugel visibly deflated. "And this is my _wife,_ " he whispered brokenly. "She's worth so much more than a random criminal."

But Lady Satella would be unhappy if her life was traded for another.

Geuse worried that one day, Master Flugel would stop caring.

Months later, Geuse found himself face-to-face an unspeakable abomination… who also happened to be a dear friend: Daphne, the Witch of Gluttony.

Morosely, he asked if she had come to pay her respects to Lady Satella.

"Nope. Tella-Tella is fine," the girl said flippantly. Her Centipede Coffin danced hauntingly in the foyer of the mansion as she excitedly exclaimed, "Tella-Tella has lots more to eat, so she can't die yet!"

Geuse wished he could share in her enthusiasm. Trying to change the subject to something more light-hearted, he said, "If I may ask, how are –"

But she didn't listen. Her frenzied tap dance intensified as she began to drool. "Flu-Flu is hungry," she stated with a fanged grin. "Like my bunny, he'll keep searching for his meal. If he doesn't get it, he'll eat himself alive."

 _'How_ _callous,'_ Geuse thought bitterly, but he could not deny it. Not for the first time, he cursed himself for his wavering faith in Master Flugel. Not for the last time, he wished he could have saved his master from unending sorrow.

He bade goodbye to Daphne, who left for the Pleiades Watchtower. Lost in thought, he made his way to the master bedroom where Lady Satella slept alone.

Master Flugel would not visit her, for he was still searching for a cure. Greedy and gluttonous indeed, to put his own desires over the comfort of his wife.

Geuse sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh as he admired Lady Satella's visage. Her silver hair shone as bright as ever, and her amethyst eyes revealed a beautiful soul.

He didn't know what would happen to the world when the Sorceress passed. Would her soul meet with its other half? Would it be born anew? Would the Od Laguna hold on to it until there was another fitting vessel?

He wished that she would stay with them a little while longer. He didn't know what he'd do without her, especially now that Master Flugel had been lost to desperation.

He gently gripped her hand, brushing the back of it with his thumb and trying to grant her some level of comfort. He eyed the silver ring on her finger. Once upon a time, the amethyst would have shone in the firelight. He wished to return to those halcyon days.

It felt so... _wrong_. Master Flugel was supposed to be there, not a lowly spirit. The Sorceress and the Sage were supposed to watch over the land for an eternity, not wither away and die.

Geuse wished he could do more for them. He would spend his life making up for his uselessness.

He tried to stand, but a pale arm shot out and grasped his hand. Like a broken silver bell, quietly ringing out into the darkness, she whispered, "Subaru?"

Geuse's heart broke, for Lady Satella had lost her grasp of reality. She couldn't even call out the name of her husband. Nonetheless, he answered, "I'm right here."

He didn't have the heart to tell her the truth.

With glassy eyes and a wavering smile, she raised her hand up to his cheek. "You came back," she said softly, happily. Then, with confusion, she asked, "Why are you crying, my love?"

Eventually, he managed to choke out, "Because… I don't want you to die. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He had not thought himself capable of crying in sadness, yet here he was.

With that, he left her side, and could only watch as the world fell to pieces.

Mere weeks after the Witch of Envy's sealing, Geuse sat at a simple, wooden table, a glass of wine in his shaking hands. He did not drink it; it was merely used to commemorate those that had fallen in the calamity. They could not list names, for there were nearly fifty million of them. Even so, Geuse gave a silent toast to Lady Satella. He dared not speak her name aloud, for in front of him was his master.

Master Flugel did not look a day over twenty, but he was not the same man, either. Gone was the compassionate hero who saved the life of a random spirit. Gone was the relentless researcher, desperate to save his wife. Gone was the Sage, the indomitable warrior who defeated the Witch of Envy.

In his place sat a broken man, wasting away in his tower, unable to face the future.

Master Flugel drowned his seventh cup of wine – one for each Witch, most likely – but it was clear that he was as sober as ever. With a heaving sigh, he tossed his glass to the side, not bothering to watch as it shattered against the wall.

Despite the pathetic state Master Flugel was in, Geuse refused to leave his side. It was not merely because of those dark eyes; Geuse knew of the man that lied beneath the sorrow. He loved his master, for the man had given him life.

He was a spirit born of the Od Laguna, and he would serve the Sage and the Sorceress, for it was his calling.

Master Flugel knew that and gave his final instructions. Geuse would follow them until his master's return. Some would call it entrapment, but Geuse called it his duty.

"Betelgeuse."

He was taken out of his thoughts as Master Flugel spoke, the once-strong voice cracked from disuse. With pursed lips, Geuse corrected, "It's Petelguese."

He would not forget Lady Satella's wishes so easily.

Master Flugel did not bother to correct himself. Instead, he began his final lesson, telling the legend of Orion the Hunter.

Orion was an archer of such skill, he could rival the gods themselves. During one of his hunts, he met and fell in love with a woman of silver: Artemis, the Maiden Goddess of the Moon and the Hunt.

However, not all approved of their love, and a scorpion was sent after Orion, killing the Hunter. In grief, Artemis begged her father, the God of the Sky and Thunder, to turn Orion into a constellation. And so, the stars welcomed their new brethren: Orion the Hunter, containing Betelgeuse, and Scorpius the Scorpion, containing Shaula. It is said that they shone so brightly because Artemis held infinite sorrow.

"I am like Orion," Master Flugel said bitterly. "I spent my days chasing a woman of silver, but, in the end, I only brought her grief."

Geuse wanted to deny it, but he couldn't. Instead, he asked, "Why did you name Shaula after the creature that killed Orion?"

Master Flugel gave a wry grin, and Geuse rejoiced, for a bit of his old master was showing through. With a bit of mirth, the older man said, "Well, I always wanted to be that silly father who would say things like, 'my daughter will be the death of me.'"

A moment later, the spark of life disappeared, and Master Flugel's eyes became glassy once more. "I guess you could say I'm more like Betelgeuse than Orion, actually," he said quietly. "The Hand of Orion had killed countless innocent creatures."

Drowning in memories, Master Flugel changed the subject. "Romanée-Conti. The finest, rarest, most expensive wine from my homeland. I was a man with nothing to my name, and I could never dream of having it."

He held out his hand as if mimicking the action of holding a bottle. "And yet, there it was… right there in the alleyway I slept. A pristine, unopened bottle of Romanée-Conti."

He grimaced as his hand formed a strange shape. "Beside it was a loaded gun, a modern weapon for the Hand of Orion."

Geuse didn't know what that was, but he didn't like how his master spoke of it.

Master Flugel's eyes lost their focus as his voice lowered to a whisper. "I had nothing. No hope, family, nor friends. It was just me and a bottle of wine, topped off with a journey through an endless void."

He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that night. "It was all so… perfect. It was like it was a gift, telling me 'happy travels,' or maybe 'have a good journey.' Every day, I'm grateful to whoever allowed me that escape, even as I curse them for enabling me."

Geuse didn't fully understand, but he saw the deep pain in his master's eyes, and he wished for nothing more than to rid Master Flugel of his sorrow.

Reaching for another bottle of wine before remembering he had already shattered his glass, Master Flugel reminisced, "Years ago, you asked me why I gave you your name."

Geuse nodded. It was one of his first full conversations with his master. "You had only told me _what_ it meant. I still do not know why."

He met the eyes of the Sage: the man who called him a friend, but he could only call a master. As if it were obvious, the once-great man explained, "It's because you and I are the same."

Geuse stiffened but let his master elaborate.

"You will love a woman of silver. You will dedicate your life to making her happy. In the end, you will cause her grief. You will be the reason she is dead. You will become a shell of yourself, causing the death of many in your insanity."

With dead eyes, Master Flugel placed the final nail in the coffin. "You will fail in your task. The Hand of Orion will bring ruin to this land, just as I have."

Geuse could have done many things. He could have vehemently denied it, asked for an explanation, or gotten angry. However, he did none of those things, for he firmly believed that Master Flugel was correct.

The Sage was the master of the Od Laguna and all the beings that came from it. He had not given an insult, nor was he projecting his own failings onto the spirit; it was simply a premonition that would undoubtedly come to pass.

Geuse could do nothing but diligently avoid his fate for as long as he could.

With his thoughts spiraling, he stood up, unable to bring himself to say goodbye. Along the way, his eyes dragged over the corner of the room that Daphne had so often perched herself in. He couldn't help but realize that she was right; Master Flugel had eaten too much, and he was no longer himself.

Despite his turbulent emotions, he did not leave the Pleiades Watchtower, for he had one last task to accomplish. He did not know how it would be possible or when he would be capable of completing it, but he would wait an eternity if it would help his masters.

Some days, he visited the spirit of Reid Astrea, but their personalities differed too much to have many productive conversations. The man was coarse and perverted: a representation of his younger years, most likely. Reid simply trained for hours on end, day in and day out; he needed to hone his skill so as to provide a proper trial.

Geuse never stayed long.

Occasionally, he spoke to Volcanica, but the Divine Dragon was no longer lucid. He had been gravely injured in his battle and would likely never speak normally again. Perhaps in a few hundred years, he would heal, but it was unlikely.

He spent most of his time with Shaula, though the poor girl barely noticed his presence. She clung to Master Flugel, asking for the whereabouts of Lady Daphne and Lady Satella.

Master Flugel never answered. He didn't say much of anything anymore; he merely wandered aimlessly and kept to his books.

His entire world was Lady Satella. She kept him sane. They needed each other to maintain balance, both physically and emotionally. Now that she was sealed so close by, yet infinitely far away, he had lost what little remained of his humanity

Then, one night, Geuse heard his master screaming in rage, pain, and grief. His woes, his regret, all were laid bare. Geuse didn't hear the exact words, but he could have sworn he heard Shaula crying.

His heart twisted, and he once again berated himself for being unable to save anyone.

Curses, demands, threats, and coerced promises followed. All compassion fled, leaving a monster behind.

Then, silence reigned.

Mere minutes later, Geuse felt it; the balance of the world shifted, throwing the Od Laguna into disarray. In a panic, he dashed through the Tower and burst into his master's study.

For the first time, he felt rage, though it quickly dissolved into sorrow.

Shaula ran in beside him, falling to her knees in shock before bursting into hysterical tears. She couldn't understand what was happening, but it was clear that it was destroying her.

Geuse kneeled before the crying child – for, right now, she was even younger than him – and pulled her into his shoulder. He gently rubbed her back and tried comforting her, but he knew it was pointless; if anything, he was only comforting himself. Perhaps if he had years, he could do something to help her, but he had mere days remaining before he had to leave.

He told his sister that he loved her. At that moment, it meant nothing to her.

He cursed his master's cruel instructions, for Shaula would be alone in her grief. No one would give her the contact she craved. No one would tell her that they loved her. She would await a master that would never come, and he would watch over a bloodline that couldn't hope to imitate its progenitor.

 _'You're a fool, Master Flugel,'_ he thought as he looked upon that haunted smile. _'A selfish, prideful, slothful fool.'_

With that bitter thought, he allowed himself to weep, for the Sage had left the world with a knife in his throat.


End file.
